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Curating Your Feed: Being Intentional About Who and What You Follow Online
18 Plays14 days ago
The people I know who don't use social media seem lighter than the rest of us. If you can quit, do it. But for those of us who can't - because we use it for work or entertainment or both - it comes down to how we curate our feeds. Because algorithms are exploiting your vulnerabilities, and yes, you are susceptible to propaganda even if you think you're too smart for it.
Here's what we're exploring about intentional feed curation:
- How passive consumption lets algorithms manipulate you (red pill content targeting young men influenced elections)
- Why everyone is susceptible to propaganda through subtle nudges and emotionally charged fragments over time
- Growing Pains segment: I was found crying in front of the refrigerator after consuming genocide footage daily
- The highlight reel problem - comparing your daily reality to everyone's curated perfection destroys self-esteem
- Practical curation strategies: audit accounts, mute people you know, click "not interested" ruthlessly, reframe as YOU controlling the feed
From understanding how Facebook board members discussed aligning with far-right parties for power to recognizing that staying informed shouldn't mean consuming trauma constantly, this episode unpacks passive vs intentional consumption. You have power here - use it.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that you control your feed, not the other way around.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! How are you curating your feed? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari - let's talk about taking control!
🎧 In case you missed it:
Social Media Detoxes: Spring Cleaning Your Relationship With Technology
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Growing with Sol'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
Target Audience: Women Embracing Their Journey
00:00:17
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:30
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. it's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:43
Speaker
So come grow with me.
Spring Cleaning: Curating Social Media for Mental Health
00:00:46
Speaker
This episode is going to be continuing on with that spring cleaning theme that we got going on and really also focusing on social media.
00:00:58
Speaker
In the last episode, I did touch curating your social media feed. For a lot of us, I don't think it's realistic to completely just go cold turkey from social media If you can, I'm a little jealous.
00:01:13
Speaker
I think that that could be very beneficial to just not be on social media all that much and ultimately not be impacted by it as much. out of the The few people I know in my life who do not use social media and don't post on social media, don't go on social media, they seem so not stress-free, but lighter than the rest of us. So if you can quit social media altogether,
00:01:40
Speaker
by all means do it. It seems like a wonderful life. But for the rest of us who cannot who cannot quite give it up because we enjoy it or because we use it for work or a little bit of both, like in my case, then It really boils down to not just the boundary settings that i talked about in the last episode, but also how we curate our feeds.
00:02:04
Speaker
So what is it that we are consuming when we are online and specifically on social media? And how is it impacting us? How is it impacting our mental health, our mood, our productivity, all of those wonderful, beautiful things. So we're going to talk about the passivity of social media consumption and media consumption in general, and what that looks like and how that affects us. And we're going be talking about some tips and tricks that we can do in order to be more of an active participant in the social media that we are consuming and the content that we're consuming and what we can do to make sure that it is benefiting us instead of taking away
00:02:46
Speaker
from us, from our lives. So let's go ahead and get into it. One of the things that I mentioned was that like passive consumption of social media. Now, what do I mean by passive consumption?
00:02:59
Speaker
First and foremost, it's what we all love to doom scrolling. When we are doom scrolling, we are not being...
00:03:08
Speaker
intentional about our time. We're not being intentional of what we're consuming. We're just scrolling along and whatever pops up on our feed is what pops up on our feed. Naturally, given our previous history, what we've interacted with and the people we follow, you know, our feeds are mildly predictable for the most part, depending on the social media platform. So you're kind of Fair things you would normally like anyway. Though I will say once the the TikTok algorithm or the owner of TikToks has switched to Oracle, like my TikTok feed is weird sometimes.
00:03:46
Speaker
And I'll get into it, but I'm definitely actively going on things that I don't like. And I'm like not interested a lot more than when, you know, TikTok had its previous owner.
00:03:57
Speaker
Anyway...
Understanding Social Media Algorithms
00:03:59
Speaker
One of the things about passive consumption of social media and why it can be a bit of a gamble is because social media, especially nowadays, and given the current context that we're in politically and what have you, you know, algorithms in and of themselves can be much more easily manipulated by essentially the people that created them.
00:04:22
Speaker
And they can be used to exploit our attention and create echo chambers. So, As we all already know, the algorithm is going to give you things that it thinks you like.
00:04:37
Speaker
and And not even like per se, because like has a positive connotation, but it's going to give you things that it thinks you are going to interact with and engage with, essentially.
00:04:47
Speaker
That could be things you like. That could be things that piss you off. That could be things that bring despair. like Again, and I'm using my own self in terms of that because...
00:04:59
Speaker
There are a lot of things on social media in the world that bring despair right now. Anyway, but it produces a reaction. it produces an interaction and a type of engagement, essentially.
00:05:14
Speaker
So social media and the algorithms are going to provide more of that. So when you're passively consuming all these things, passively, you know, put a like or a comment or a save as you keep scrolling on by, then the ah algorithm knows to keep giving you more of that as well.
00:05:31
Speaker
The exploitation part, though, can be a little bit more insidious as well, because it has been shown that certain social media platforms and specifically Facebook have we used Google information and data they've collected about our vulnerabilities as individuals, as people, and use that for targeting.
00:05:55
Speaker
So as highlighted by Katie, I'm sorry if I mispronounce your last name, Katie, but Yajel Mitzka, Katie Yajel Mitzka, in an article she wrote for Medium, the article titled Why Social Media Algorithms Can Exploit Us So Well, she dives into this a little bit more deeply and highlights that Investigations and studies have suggested that algorithms behind TikTok and Google search similarly target users' vulnerabilities, particularly young men who feel lonely and insecure, increasingly steering them towards extremist red pill content.
00:06:33
Speaker
TikTok also rolled out a feature called focused view optimization, promising advertisers access to users who were emotionally engaged. pause Because how many of us have seen the rise of conservative political views because of what is being produced and fed and popularized on social media? The whole red pill content thing, for especially for young men and how it has been essentially theorized, if not determined, how that played a major role in recent political elections and overall the rise of conservatism in Gen Z, for example. Like that's that's huge that essentially algorithms were able to be exploited to produce more of that type of sentiment within a given segment of the population.
00:07:31
Speaker
So later on in this is exact same article, we then look at Facebook, like I mentioned earlier, and we look at one of the previous board members of Facebook and what they detailed in their memoir. So...
00:07:45
Speaker
In her memoir, Wynne Williams alleges that during one of Facebook's board meetings circa 2016, it was suggested the company should get much more closer, to get much closer to far-right political parties because that's where the power is shifting to and that such alliances could help fend off government regulation.
00:08:07
Speaker
So it is something that is being discussed in boardrooms to be more politically aligned with certain groups, certain parties, because they are going to be in power. Then when you pair that with what I just mentioned earlier, with a red pill content, and conservative content, being a platform to much more widely on these social media sites, social media networks, then we realize that there is something there that's happening that is intentional on their end.
00:08:38
Speaker
and not so much on ours, the consumers. Then when you look at furthermore, the context of Facebook specifically, when we fast forward now to the inauguration of President Trump and we see multiple CEOs, let alone Mark Zuckerberg, they're at the inauguration and it's just this, it it you can't,
00:09:05
Speaker
At the very least, you can't deny that there is something a little bit more nefarious going on with these social media sites.
Impact of Passive Content Consumption
00:09:17
Speaker
But the thing about it, though, because when we look at it in this capacity where we are doing the research, we're looking at these articles and people are doing studies, we are then able to look at the conclusions of all these things and be like, OK, I see how it's operating now. Now that we're able to look at everything at this sort of
00:09:36
Speaker
macro, if you will, level. But when we are experiencing it, it is much more different. Because again, if we go back to the beginning where we're talking about passive consumption of content, what does that then look like from the other side?
00:09:52
Speaker
Not from us as a consumer, but from the maybe companies, maybe parties, companies, content creator side of the algorithm, if you will. Those people are not giving you flashy ads anymore. They're giving you more of a a nudge. They're giving you more of a a message within some content that might look innocuous.
00:10:24
Speaker
They're going to be giving you cues. Maybe it's going to be some sort of content that isn't directly related to something political, but it'll have that message sort of woven in through it. And potentially it's going to be something a little bit more emotionally charged.
00:10:39
Speaker
So little fragments of essentially propaganda that begins to accumulate over time. And the thing is, is that after we have been consuming these things passively for so long,
00:10:56
Speaker
it then starts to affect how we think of things. It then starts to affect our own opinion of these things. And I also want to highlight that if you think like, oh, I'm not susceptible to these types of things. Yeah, you are.
00:11:09
Speaker
Please do not think that you're not susceptible because if you're being told something enough in subtle ways, then it's going to start sinking into your mind little by little because these types of things do not happen overnight. These types of things happen overnight. over a sustained period of time.
00:11:28
Speaker
And that's just one aspect of how passive consumption can affect us, especially if you're looking at it from the propaganda end. And naturally, i did focus on sort of like conservatism and also conservatism, how it is affecting young men, essentially. But that doesn't mean that like women are aren't susceptible to it because women definitely can be.
00:11:50
Speaker
On the flip side or on an additional an additional point of view, an additional way this is affecting us as consumers is having a negative effect on how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about our lives, especially when it is going to be exacerbating things that we are experiencing politically and socioeconomically.
00:12:12
Speaker
especially right now where everything is so expensive.
Dealing with Social Media Comparison
00:12:15
Speaker
And I recently talked about how we define success so much differently now as millennials and Gen z because we just don't have the same access to material goods and finances that our previous generations have.
00:12:34
Speaker
So when we look at social media and everybody is sharing their highlight reels and naturally people who are more well off are going to be getting a lot of traction because they have the money to look really good all the time they have the money to go on fancy trips and do the hauls and show off so many wonderful, amazing things and locations and experiences that we all want to see and live vicariously through what they're showing, it can often leave us feeling as if
00:13:08
Speaker
there's something wrong with us. It can, when we see somebody who it's like, oh my god how does she effortlessly look so good? How are they in shape all the time? How did she bounce back after pregnancy so quickly? we start comparing ourselves, how we look, how we live, our homes, our lives to these people's highlight reels. And even if they're people that we know personally,
00:13:30
Speaker
and they're sort of like maybe not a really good friend of yours, but in the periphery of your life where they're like an acquaintance, again, people are sharing their highlight reels. They're not showing all of the difficulties or the sadness or challenges that they're going through on a day-to-day basis.
00:13:47
Speaker
So again, you are living your life. You are knowing and doing and experiencing your life on a day-to-day basis, comparing it to somebody's highlight reel. that leaves you feeling empty. That leaves you feeling like a failure. That leaves you feeling...
00:14:00
Speaker
you know, a significant lack of confidence and negatively impacting your self-esteem. So what does all this mean? If you're talking about like at a macro level where it's like, okay, here are these big companies, here are these political parties and content creators pushing all these things. And what am I supposed to do about it?
00:14:21
Speaker
And here are all these people that I'm also getting on my feed when I'm doom scrolling who like are living these fabulous lives and are so beautiful. And here I am. you know, eating a snack in bed in my pajamas and like in my sad little studio apartment or my room filled with a bunch of roommates. Like how how am I supposed to cope with this?
00:14:41
Speaker
It can definitely feel like way too much to cope with. And I completely understand that. But this is where I now make the case for being intentional and curating your feed as much as possible.
00:14:54
Speaker
First and foremost, though, I do want to highlight in last week's episode where I talk about setting boundaries with social media, definitely look at that and auditing your social media. If you didn't catch last week's episode, go check that out after this. But once we've done that part, what is it that we're actually consuming?
00:15:13
Speaker
And let's, you know, wake up a little bit. Let's be intentional about what we are consuming So what does it mean to be intentional and curate your feed?
00:15:27
Speaker
It's all about being conscious of who you're following. What are the things that you are looking at when you're on social media? And being really in touch with how you are feeling while viewing certain content and after viewing certain content.
00:15:47
Speaker
When we do this, we can better judge what is beneficial to us, what is entertaining, what is depressing, what is negatively impacting how we feel, or maybe what is actually adding to our lives. Because some of the content that we do see online can definitely add to our lives because it can be informative, educational, entertaining, whatever it is. Like,
00:16:12
Speaker
However you want to define adding to your life, it can be something positive as well. So being aware of how you're feeling is going to be incredibly important during this process.
00:16:25
Speaker
Once we are able to do that, we are able to then really have an improved mood overall because a lot of us, let's face it, our screen times are high. So when we have a high screen time, it's going to affect us. But when we have a curated feed, then it can improve our mood.
00:16:43
Speaker
We'll have better focus because again, we'll have boundaries around these things and we could potentially create more meaningful connections. Now, again, what do I mean by more meaningful connections? Like we are on social media all the time, us, individual, real people.
00:16:57
Speaker
And so many people have made friends through social media. So when you are intentional about your feed, intentional about what you are interacting with, commenting on, DMing, liking, saving, you could potentially very intentionally start creating community with those that you follow and even with people in the comments as well.
00:17:19
Speaker
I think it's important during this process to reframe social media as something that you control and not something that controls
Controlling Social Media, Not Being Controlled
00:17:28
Speaker
you. And that is incredibly important and incredibly important to keep it in balance with what I was talking about earlier when it comes to like the passive consumption of it.
00:17:39
Speaker
And how there are these bigger players sort of in this, for lack of a better word, game who are trying to spread a certain type of message potentially.
00:17:52
Speaker
And having that media literacy is going to be important. And having that knowledge that just because you might have the media literacy that all people are still susceptible to negative influences and propaganda and what have you. Like we can't, we gotta be humble, okay? Doesn't matter how intelligent you are. we gotta to we got to be real with ourselves.
00:18:16
Speaker
Knowing that, and then also knowing that you are also in control of what you consume. So you can go on to be really strict about who you follow, be really strict about how much time you're spending on social media, and be really intentional about when and how you consume what is on there.
00:18:33
Speaker
Growing Pains is a new segment that I'm doing on the podcast where I share where I'm struggling with these very same things. I am human. And even though I am a life coach, I definitely struggle with plenty of things and I'm working and growing constantly all the time, just like all of you.
00:18:49
Speaker
So when it comes to passive media consumption and passive social media consumption, I do scroll just like the rest of you. And one of the main things that I have struggled with in the past and i am much more intentional about nowadays is essentially all of the news outlets that I follow on social media.
00:19:10
Speaker
I follow a lot of news outlets. I follow a lot of journalists. And i am someone who likes to be informed. i am someone who wants to be informed about current events and what's going on in the world.
00:19:25
Speaker
But what's been going on in the world, especially in the last few years, is incredibly heavy and incredibly violent. And for example, at the start of the genocide in Gaza, i literally had multiple breakdowns.
00:19:42
Speaker
Like I saw so much death and so much despair following journalists and people who were in Gaza and recording all of the atrocities that were happening. And I was consuming that multiple times a day, every single day. And I remember after one particularly horrendous traumatic video, I was i was like in shock.
00:20:06
Speaker
And literally just, again, self-soothe because I'm an emotional eater. So I i eat to self-soothe essentially. And I couldn't even do that. i was just standing in front of the refrigerator crying.
00:20:20
Speaker
And that's how my parents found me. They found me in front of the refrigerator just crying. So that happened way at the beginning of the Gaza genocide. And it took me...
00:20:31
Speaker
Even after that, I was still doing the same type of media consumption and passive consumption, or even not so passive. I was intentionally also being like, I can't believe this is happening. I must bear witness at the very least, you know? But even nowadays, especially now with what's going on in Iran and seeing all those videos as well,
00:20:50
Speaker
I have to be very intentional about when I choose to even go onto social media and specifically Instagram, which is where I follow all of these news outlets.
Managing Exposure to Heavy News Content
00:21:01
Speaker
And I have to ask myself,
00:21:04
Speaker
Am i in a place where I can handle as much as one could possibly handle seeing something so devastating or violent right now or even hearing about it? Because if they don't share like a picture or video of something, there might still be some sort of reporting about something devastating happening. And it's like, am I in a place where I can bear witness, essentially?
00:21:26
Speaker
Sometimes I'm not. And I choose to not go on Instagram and I'll just read or do something else. But it's taken many years at this point because the genocide started, what, 2023? And now it's 2026. And I'm getting to this point. So it takes time. It takes practice.
00:21:47
Speaker
So what are some practical strategies that we can do when we are looking to really curate our feeds? Step one, audit the accounts that you follow. And you can literally go to who you follow and go through people and the accounts and everyone there and think, does this account add value to my life? When was the last time I even saw content from this person, this brand, this company, the store, whatever it is?
00:22:12
Speaker
And do I still need to even be following them? You can even go through their profile and be like, does this content still resonate with me? No, unfollow. If they are maybe people you know in your everyday life and whatever for whatever reason, their content doesn't bring anything positive to your life, but it would be weird to unfollow them.
00:22:31
Speaker
i get it. You can mute them. You can restrict people. You can restrict who can message you. Apparently you can turn off notifications for messages too. So definitely go ahead and do that and be ruthless in clicking not interested.
00:22:50
Speaker
On our feeds, things will often pop up that we are not interested in or we don't know how they got there. Sometimes the algorithm might be pushing something out to you that isn't meant for you necessarily. So just to be ruthless in clicking not interested to make sure that you have what is going to be positive and educational and really align with your interests, your goals, and not just whatever is going to passively show up for you.
00:23:14
Speaker
Remember to set time limits. You can decrease notifications. You have that notification management and even have designated no scroll times.
00:23:25
Speaker
Remember that you are in charge of what you consume. You have power here. You are able to control how much you access these apps and who you're following and who you're giving your attention and your engagement to.
00:23:37
Speaker
I would say that for this next week, just pick 10 minutes to go through these things, audit your feed, audit who you follow, and see what you're able to shift and change for yourself. Definitely start small because you want sustainable changes over time.
00:23:55
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in today to the Grown What's All podcast. If this episode, if the podcast in general is resonating with you, make sure to leave five-star review because it does help get it out to more people who need to hear this.
00:24:07
Speaker
If you are looking for accountability and support during shifts you are trying to make, i am currently accepting
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00:24:13
Speaker
clients. You can schedule your very own discovery call with me through the link in the show notes.
00:24:17
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.