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6 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew at 26 About Self-Esteem, Friendship, and Love
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Six life lessons about self-esteem, friendship, and toxic relationships I wish I'd known at 26. Self-acceptance and radical acceptance are the foundation for real confidence. Your flaws are not a moral failing and you deserve to celebrate your achievements.
Six lessons across three categories:
- Self-esteem and confidence: Your flaws are not a moral failing, celebrate your achievements
- Friendship lessons: Deep friendships require intentionality, friends are your village
- Love life lessons: If your creativity dies because of him, leave him, one hard conversation shouldn't end a relationship
I learned these lessons through mistakes, painful friendships that faded, and a toxic relationship that took my creativity. Looking back, I wish I'd known my flaws didn't define me and that I deserved to celebrate my wins.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that the lessons you learn the hard way are worth sharing so others don't have to wait 10 years to understand them.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! What's a life lesson you wish you'd known sooner? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari!
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Transcript
Introduction to Growth and Empowerment
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful soul and welcome back to another installment of the Growing With Soul podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:16
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:29
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:40
Speaker
So come grow with me.
Reflections on Aging and Time
00:00:42
Speaker
In today's episode, I am going to be talking about a few life lessons it took me a little bit to learn, to really fully let it sink in into my soul, into my psyche, and things that I wish I would have known sooner.
00:00:59
Speaker
So one of the things that learned been thinking about lately is my age. Naturally, my birthday is coming up. So you know, it's weird because like when your birthday comes up, the older you get, the more you're like, oh my God, am I really that old? Because you never, you've been young your whole life. So like, how do you know how to be old? You know what i'm saying?
00:01:19
Speaker
Like it's it's it what society says in ages versus like how you feel and and all that, like it doesn't always coincide. So it feels a little odd to be like, I'm going to be 36.
00:01:32
Speaker
So in all of that, in thinking about that, it made me think back to like, holy shit, grad school was 10 years ago. That's crazy. I really think the pandemic like ruined with like my time frame and like my mind because I feel like the 2010s were still like close by. you know what mean? Like I feel like they weren't that long ago, but they were. They really were 2016. Yeah.
00:02:00
Speaker
was 10 years ago. I graduated from grad school 10 years ago. Wild. That's absolutely wild.
Lessons from Age 26: Self-Esteem and Relationships
00:02:09
Speaker
With that being said, it made me think about 26-year-old Marisol and how young i was I mean, obviously 26 isn't super young. I mean, it is, but like, you know, definitely an adult by then.
00:02:23
Speaker
But it made me think about where I was at that time and the different things I've learned or that like I wish I knew back then. And then you know, I'm going to share them with with all of you, essentially.
00:02:35
Speaker
And I've divided them up into three different sections through different categories. They are self-esteem and confidence, friendship lessons, as well as romantic love life lessons.
00:02:47
Speaker
Okay, so the first category, self-esteem and confidence. First lesson I wish i would have known when I was 26, your flaws are not a moral failing. It sounds so basic at this time in my life because obviously that is the case. But back then, oh man, i had a hard time with that.
00:03:07
Speaker
And I really do believe that self-acceptance, or radical self-acceptance is the key to truly embodying the fact that your flaws are not true.
00:03:18
Speaker
a judgment on you, on your character, on you as a person. We all have flaws. We all have things that we either need or want to work on And knowing that, embracing that, embracing where you are in that journey is so integral to having a higher self-esteem and being confident in oneself. Because having high self-esteem and confidence doesn't depend on being perfect.
00:03:46
Speaker
Because if you're trying to be perfect, it's never going to happen. If you, being able, being confident is, or it's accepting your flaws is an integral part of your confidence. There we go. That's how to say what I want to say. So your flaws are not a moral failing.
00:04:05
Speaker
You can still be confident. You can still have high self-esteem while accepting your flaws and accepting where you are with those flaws. And on top of that,
00:04:16
Speaker
There's just certain things that we're never going to fix. And that's okay. Because nobody is perfect. We all have things that we are not good at. We all have things that maybe we lack.
00:04:26
Speaker
That is fine. Nobody is perfect. And there's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with your character, with your person for having said flaws.
Celebrating Achievements and Deepening Friendships
00:04:35
Speaker
Second, self-esteem and confidence lesson I wish I would have known back then.
00:04:40
Speaker
And one, honestly, I still work on. And that is bask in the pride of your achievements. You worked hard and achieved that shit. I still struggle with this, okay? is This is still something very, very difficult for me because i very much am like process focused, you know? Like I want to get to the goal, but I focus so much on the process and where I'm at in the process that once I get there, I'm like, it's over. And like, that's it, you know? Kind of like on to the next. Kind of like like when I graduated from undergrad, it was no big deal to me.
00:05:19
Speaker
When I graduated from undergrad, i was just like yeah that's what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to go to college. I was supposed to graduate. Now I'm unemployed. Like that, like when I graduated with my bachelor's degree, everybody was happy. Oh my God. Yay. Bachelor's degree. You did it. Four years university. Go you. And I was just like, what are you celebrating? I'm unemployed.
00:05:37
Speaker
Like that was my mindset. Not a good one to have. Okay. Definitely. i should have celebrated my bachelor's degree and I should have celebrated my graduate degree as a well because I definitely had the same mindset. Not as much.
00:05:55
Speaker
It was a little less, not as intense, but I definitely had that. So bask in the pride of your achievements because you earned them. You put in the work and you achieve them. Okay, let's let's do that together.
00:06:10
Speaker
Something I'm still working on, but let's go ahead and do that together. Friendship lessons. This one is really important to me because friendship, you know, I've never been the type of person to have a lot of friends. I'm very, I have a few friends and that is my core group. And that's just how life is for me. It has always been. But the first friendship lesson is maintaining deep friendships takes intentionality.
00:06:35
Speaker
It means proactively reaching out. It means proactively planning to see each other. It means proactively celebrating each other, supporting each other, and even having tough conversations. That's also something extremely important as well, because how many of us have just stopped talking to a friend of ours? Like you just fizzled out and that happens. You know, I completely get it.
00:06:58
Speaker
But how painful is that for so many of us? Like, I think back to that's happened with some friends of mine when I was in my early 20s, especially. And I think back to like,
00:07:09
Speaker
I wish I would have reached out to that person. I wish I would have been like, hey, there's a distance here. Like what's going on? Honestly, oh my God. I think that I was thinking about this podcast while I was sleeping because I literally had a dream with that friend that I lost touch with in my early 20s. She was in my dream last night.
00:07:29
Speaker
crazy. Anyway, just goes to show you how important it is. And here I am 10 plus years later, still missing her. So there you go. ah Second friendship lesson that I wish I knew at 26.
00:07:42
Speaker
Your friends are your village, your sounding board, your safety net, invest in them. And what I mean by investing in them, like I mean investing emotionally, investing your time.
00:07:54
Speaker
and sometimes, sometimes even financially, although I do have a caveat with that one, i have a very strict definition of friendship. So for me, for someone to be like a a friend of mine, it's like they're nearly family and someone that I would feel comfortable lending money to. But that's my definition of friendship, which I understand is very strict in comparison to a lot of other people's.
00:08:17
Speaker
So that's that. Love
Insights on Romantic Relationships
00:08:20
Speaker
life lessons. This one is something I talk about a lot on this podcast, so I get it But I wanted to share these two because they are... important.
00:08:29
Speaker
And that is, if your creativity dies because of him, leave him. This happened to me. Okay, I have always been a very creative person, but that disappeared when I was in a very toxic relationship.
00:08:42
Speaker
And I just figured it was my fault. I figured a lot of things were just my fault back then. So I didn't clock it. But now, if it ever goes away again, i need to go to therapy expeditiously, look inside, reflect, because something is very wrong with me if that's the case.
00:09:00
Speaker
Second love life lesson. If one difficult conversation is going to end the relationship, the relationship is meant to be over. It is meant to end.
00:09:12
Speaker
I feel like that one's pretty self-explanatory.
Invitation for Reflection and Engagement
00:09:15
Speaker
But if you stayed this far for these lessons, I definitely appreciate you. Definitely take some time to sit with them, think about them. Are there any lessons out there that you wish you would have known 10 years ago? Let me know what they are in the comments. You can even DM me as well. Thank you for tuning in today into the Grow It's Old Podcast. If this resonated with you, definitely leave a comment, subscribe, like it, and share it out with somebody who you think also needs to hear these lessons. Until next time, keep growing.