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EP 19: What it really takes to become a healer with an energetic transmission to share w/ Lana Boyuk
29 Plays1 month ago
If you’ve ever felt like you’re free falling into the void, uncertain of which direction you’re going in life and business but still desire growth in the midst of it all, this episode of The Modern Day Healer Podcast is for you.
On today’s episode I interview the wise, experienced and raw Lana Boyuk who’s ability to articulate complex emotional states, spiritual concepts and business acumen all while closing a decades long healing loop will have you on the edge of your seat soaking up the potent energetic transmission she offers.
This episode isn’t about strategy, it’s not about having what you want, it's about BEING the medicine, BECOMING the energy you sell, ALLOWING yourself to take full responsibility for the healer’s path your soul has CHOSEN regardless of the certain difficulties you will face.
This is about the truth of spiritual expansion, the pain some of us must go through in order to grow and the shifting of your perspective from one of controlling outside circumstances to manufacture comfort to finding comfort in the discomfort.
I guarantee this episode will stretch you like none have before.
I can’t wait for you to listen - and don’t forget to let me know what you think! Find our contact info below! 👇
Connect with Dana HERE and Lana HERE and tell them what you loved most about this episode and what resonated deeply.
**If you loved today's episode, remember to give this podcast a 5-star rating! You can quickly leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts by scrolling down on my show page, selecting a star rating, and tapping “Write a review.” This helps other modern-day healers discover the show, and your feedback helps me curate more content you love. Thank you for your support!!
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Transcript
Introduction to Modern Day Healer Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Modern Day Healer podcast. I'm your host, Dana Hayes, and I am so excited to share with you the stories, the trials, the tribulations, and most importantly, the triumphs of my own as well as many other successful modern day healers.
00:00:20
Speaker
We've gone all in to pursue our passion, to make an impact in the world by helping humans heal from the past and find true empowerment in their lives
00:00:37
Speaker
She is me and anyone else who feels a calling to help others heal, grow and share their light. You could be a wife, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a speaker, a podcast host. You might be a workshop producer, a course creator.
00:00:54
Speaker
You're most likely an entrepreneur and can't shake the desire to make your calling your career because you know how much impact you could make if you went all in and had the opportunity to share your story with the world. That is a modern day
Dana's Multifaceted Identity as a Healer
00:01:11
Speaker
healer.
00:01:11
Speaker
I am a podcast host, a co-author of an amazing book about the journey of sobriety, a wife, a mom of two young children, and the creator of the spiritual lifestyle brand, Living in Power. I am Dana and I am a modern day healer. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
00:01:37
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of The Modern
Introducing Lana Boyak: Emotional Healing Coach
00:01:42
Speaker
Day Healer. I am Dana Hayes, your host. And with me, I have Lana Boyak. Lana is an emotional healing coach with over 25 years of experience working as a spiritual guide and educator. She's trained with world-class teachers, high-touch mentors, wise friends, and of course, life itself.
00:02:04
Speaker
Her expertise is in helping her clients identify the underlying cause of their physical and emotional discomfort, and she equips them with the necessary tools to overcome obstacles and face life's challenges with courage and vulnerability that feel safe.
00:02:19
Speaker
in order to achieve inner calm, clarity and confidence. So I'm saying all of this and kind of laughing to myself at the same time because these words do not do justice for Lana. And you're going to see like, as I start talking to her and she starts opening up, the depth and the richness of this woman is ah otherworldly and words cannot,
00:02:43
Speaker
cannot um like I just can't achieve what I want by by talking right now about Lana. So I know Lana has a hell of a story to share, and and she also has a lot of of life experiences to talk about that are happening right this second. And Lana, I want to start this talk, first of all, by saying thank you so much for
Masterclass on Vulnerability and Healer's Challenges
00:03:05
Speaker
being here. But also, um I just taught a masterclass called Vulnerable AF, and it was all about living as as a coach, as a mentor, as a spiritual guide, as a healer, um as a modern day healer, our job is to play and to live in the void, in the uncertainty, because that is where the experience is for us to take and to evolve and then to share with our people. And so I know just from what you've shared with me in the past five minutes,
00:03:41
Speaker
that there is some uncertainty, there's a void and I want to hear more about it. So can you please just, you can start wherever you want, but I would love to hear like your story and how you got to where you are right now and tell us about what's going on right now in your world. Like I want to hear everything. So just take it away. Can can you do that for me?
Lana's Personal Journey and Purpose
00:04:05
Speaker
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. I am as equally excited and inspired by this conversation because one of the things that I hold dearly is being seen by others that I feel a deep respect for and that are walking the path and not just hashtag I'm walking the path. No, I mean, we've got knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and we have become masterful at falling down and getting back up
00:04:40
Speaker
even if it's our dragging our ass up like begrudgingly and I definitely know that practice and I think I'll jump in right there.
00:04:51
Speaker
Because I like to keep it real. I think that spiritual growth, spiritual maturity, becoming a, I don't know, a leader in this realm of spirituality is really sugar coated and dressed up. And, you know, i that the the phrase putting lipstick on a pig is coming to me right now.
00:05:16
Speaker
Because it sounds so glamorous to be in a role of leading others to their deepest, most, you know, authentic AF parts.
00:05:29
Speaker
And it truly isn't. Once you get the title, once you get a few certifications, God has an impeccable way of reminding us of hubris.
Humility and Breakdown in Healing
00:05:41
Speaker
And this this path, I definitely will say that it requires gargantuan doses of humility all the time, or the pain is excruciating because doing this work period on ourselves, discovering the roots and and that the truth of our courage, our our resilience, our bravery, our healthy dose of insanity, because that's required to
00:06:15
Speaker
is something that is going to constantly bring us to our knees. And honestly, maybe that's where we should be doing this work from is on our knees all the time. And my first realization that um I wasn't going to be
00:06:37
Speaker
relieved from the discomfort of being in this life was at 12 when I attempted suicide. So I had always felt like I do not belong here. I don't fit in. I don't actually want to be here. um And my version of circumstances or flavor of Um, let's, I want to be careful with my words, but discord and energy that I needed to start my journey with was, you know, basically both parents took off. So when you recognize that, you know, by 11 and 12 years old, that you're kind of alone in the world to fend for yourself, it doesn't set you up to be very trusting of humanity.
00:07:27
Speaker
right. And even attempting suicide, it was like it wasn't a success. Then at 26, I attempted again, and this is after having two children and and just coming to a point of feeling so broken and that I couldn't even do parenting well because I had chosen somebody like my father. And really deeply believed that even though I'd chosen to be pregnant, chose to bring these humans into this world.
00:08:00
Speaker
my first son in particular, because he actually gave me a reason to want to stay around. I was like, Okay, well, if I wasn't taught what love was, and I don't really know what it means to be in a healthy loving relationship. Well, I know people like me. So maybe I can learn how to love myself through the eyes of having someone dependent on me.
Raising Emotionally Capable Men
00:08:26
Speaker
And it will love me and it was it was true it it helped me to course correct but then it eventually reached a point where I was like I cannot get out of this how I am living living in with this husband of mine and I just cannot bear to stay around and watch my children be raised in in a similar situation where there's yelling and fighting and
00:08:51
Speaker
insanity that that eroded me and stripped me of my confidence my sense of worth and even deserving to be alive it was like I am repeating a pattern that I swore I never would and so as after a second attempt I realized God's like, you're not going anywhere. And so that really sucked. Honestly, it really did. But it swiftly filled me with some fierceness to course correct to change my trajectory, which was, all right, I obviously am not able to be tolerant of people that are
00:09:41
Speaker
like valiant victims almost it was like you know being in competition with who has more hardship more pain more suffering it was like no no my focus is these two boys and it's to bring two good men into this world like that was so clear to me that we are all broken, we are all damaged in some capacity. And this was my role, my bigger role was to help create these two solid men in the world. And that I was gonna have to find some way to be in the world and of the world and oh not not hate God along the way because I was just like, I am done like 100 times over.
00:10:33
Speaker
And so that was the deep baptismal by fire for sure, trying to exit and then having to get humble. I got humble real fast because it was like, wow, I am valiantly efforting to get out of here and it's not happening.
00:10:53
Speaker
Holy Christ, I literally can't even control that. How come others can pull it off and I can't so it really gave me this bizarre almost I'm going to choose the word healthy dissociation of where I saw myself.
00:11:11
Speaker
and where I needed to be seeing myself through the eyes of which was a higher vantage point which was I can't even say it was God at that time because I had a real difficult relationship with with the word God and God being a masculine patriarchal energy, having a father I did not depend on or trust.
Spiritual Growth and Relationship with God
00:11:35
Speaker
My sons have two different fathers, both of them bailed on their responsibilities, you know, an older brother that I felt was so capable of helping me bailed on me. I'm like, men suck. Oh my god. I so it was like,
00:11:53
Speaker
I feel that something awoken rose in me that was a vision I didn't even understand the magnitude of, which became like a beacon for me. And back to the point, it was the world needs healthy men. And I somehow am apparently meant to do this because I've had two boys, and I want them to be strong.
00:12:18
Speaker
I want them to become leaders, but I also want them to be able to be vulnerable in their hearts and and ask for help and com communicate communicate, communicate, you know, recognize that they're not omnipotent and that they're supposed to have these unrealistic expectations put upon them. But somehow I had to cultivate this divine mother archetype that was beyond God. So be it the sacred mother, Mary, I don't know, but something that was teaching me to become a mother to myself, because I hadn't had that. And then this loving force that was also going to support me in mothering them into these strong men. So it was like becoming a steward.
00:13:13
Speaker
And I think that's how I reconcile being still of this earth was, oh, I am a steward. Ah, and that, has informed how I have led, how I have taught, how I have mentored. I am, and I say Justin Air quotes all upper caps because I revere it, but I also want to keep it humble. I am just the steward. I am just the messenger. I am just exclamation mark, neon, you know, marquee, the one who needed to go through so much hardship.
00:13:51
Speaker
so that I could sit across from almost anyone and be able to transmit an energy of safety. I see you. I understand you. I am you. Yeah. So that's it in a bit of a nutshell and wherever you want to go with that. well um go take Okay. So I have to tell you, I have two boys also. And, um,
00:14:20
Speaker
felt everything you just said so deeply because I too had such an issue with the word God. And um I use it now because it's just easier for me to express what I'm trying to express without worrying about what people perceive it to mean, um or my own past perspective perception of it, clouding it, but really taking in what you said about you know the world needing good men. and being able to communicate and knowing who they really are on the inside. And um the very first thing that happened to me when I got sober six years ago was, um you know i Roman, my so now seven-year-old, was two. Well, he was he was two, so I'm going on six years. but
00:15:10
Speaker
And he had remember coming out and asking the universe I was like, I couldn't call it God at the time, I just came outside and I was like, you know, what is your will for me because I was told like you just need to be following the will of something bigger, that's it. And I, I took that very.
00:15:27
Speaker
um I took it to heart and I dismantled my entire marketing business that I had at the time. I stopped doing everything for four years and focused only on the will of my higher power. And I remember asking it and I literally thought to myself that I would get some response that was, had something to do with my business and the direction and the trajectory of it. And instead I heard this and I've never had an auditory response from God, but it literally said, be a mom. And I was just like, oh my God. And then we
Dana's Sobriety and Motherhood Journey
00:16:04
Speaker
just decided to have another little guy. So we have a nine month old now, but i um I just, I wanted to communicate that. I love what you just said about that. I could feel it so deeply. And one other thing I want to circle back around on was where you kind of began this
00:16:23
Speaker
saying that you know the whole spiritual path and being a spiritual leader and a thought leader sounds so glamorous. And in fact, it is, I believe, one of the most difficult yet worthwhile paths that you could possibly take because when you take the facade off of it, right the pretty packaging, it's living in the void. It's literally allowing the universe to give you and to receive all of the hardships that you're meant to have in order to reach this higher level of consciousness that you otherwise would never be able to attain or help others attain
00:17:02
Speaker
had you not had those experiences, but you better be fucking open to having them because if you close yourself off, nothing's going to change. And therefore you will not be a spiritual leader. That's not what that means. So I i commend you and I feel you and I love this conversation. Well, and I really love that you just surmise that and and this, this, what just came through me is if we deny that we were and And we are, we're being you know our higher self and the human part of us. And God, it's a collaboration that we have chosen this path, this arduous path into the void. If we just are like, well, I'm not doing this anymore, what I have discovered, because God knows I have said I'm i'm out, like I'm done. It's like being cryovact, shrink wrapped in the void. It's like suffocating.
00:18:01
Speaker
Like that is what I've endured where it's like, it's different than similar to you. I've stepped out of my business in 2011 to 14. I did that sold 90% of my belongings, moved to Costa Rica and was like, God, I am done. Like either do me in and that's when I started doing a lot of medicine work I'm like I'd rather die being on a big journey into the unknown and maybe finding some clarity than this feeling of existence that I had been in because I was I was cryovac I was shrink wrapped into
00:18:38
Speaker
this non-existent, almost Bardo state. And so, yeah you know, it's like pick the better of two evils. And I'm like, well, getting some oxygen and a little bit of energy flow, even if it's a trickle, like an intravenous drip is a hell of a lot better than floating in the universe in darkness and being shrunk wrapped, knowing this is not going to change, like this is it.
00:19:06
Speaker
I was like, Oh, dear God, like, you know, and for me, I can even liken that to a freeze response in the body where it's like the whole being is like, Nope, I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm shutting down. I'm dissociating in a way that's not healthy. And I just want off the ride. It doesn't work that way. I believe those of us who are doing the heavy fucking lifting right now,
00:19:33
Speaker
have been groomed for lifetimes. Like I feel I've been playing and dabbling and having tea parties with fellow white workers. And now it's like life's like, yeah, guess what? The tea parties are done. The gal is done. Now it's, you know, rough, tough, tumbling. Here we go. It is now time to go.
00:19:58
Speaker
you know, or I think of Renee Brown talking about, you know, get out of the seats of the arena, get in the arena like it's gladiator time. And it is brutal. My body has aches and pains like I can't even I don't even know what's going on anymore. I feel like I am in a reversal. So giving some context when I was 31.
00:20:24
Speaker
I was in a severe breakdown. um I had started my yoga path at that point became a teacher, it was 2001. And I was in the first and only healthy relationship I have ever been in.
00:20:41
Speaker
And that started to undo me. He was so solid in who he was and his convictions about who he was as a man and as a leader. And the love that he had was so pure that he polarized me into like hardcore rapid healing.
00:21:02
Speaker
like detox, you know, I ended up having all of these lumps in my neck, and I thought, Oh, it's just because you're teaching 11 yoga classes a week, minimizing it as I've done. And then it was fibromyalgia happened.
00:21:17
Speaker
and And right across the heart and chest and the arms and I'm like, Oh, dear God, yeah, I know what that area represents. Okay, that makes sense. And then I started to think about the relationship with the neck and all the things I had it said, and growing up with an alcoholic father who was physically like six, five, two 60 and would pick up my five foot two mom by the throat and abuse her and watching this abuse and yelling going on in the household and having no voice no power and then joking later on with friends. Oh,
00:21:53
Speaker
You know, my first language was rage and and to think, oh my God, so much is stuck here right now. And because I'm in a healthy relationship, this man is holding space and it's commanding that I start to soften and heal. Then I ended up with Epstein Barr. I had a 25 year stint of what was called cold induced year to carry us. so Some people are allergic to heat. I was allergic to cold. And I know when that trauma set into my bones was when I was eight months pregnant with my first son. And I raged for the first time ever on the phone with my father. I was losing my mind. I could remember pacing and frenetic. And I knew after that phone call,
00:22:45
Speaker
Within a month, I had this breakout of hives after coming out of a northern Ontario lake where it was 30 degrees, you know, and I was like, why is this happening? Knew nothing about energetics, but something in me awoke and it was like,
00:23:01
Speaker
It's the rage, your body is locking in rage so anything cooler was clashing. So it literally sent me on a 25 year journey to understand the energetics of unresolved emotions in the body.
00:23:19
Speaker
Oh, it's been just crazy. So even now I'm like the shoulders and I'm like, Oh, it's so wild. I feel like I'm doing the reversal of where my body was at when I was 30 to 34. Because it started in the neck and shoulders. And now I'm like, Oh, it's coming through again. And it's like to me a review.
00:23:43
Speaker
And I think of Melanie Ann Lehrer, who some of us know through our work with Shosh, and Melanie talks about a glass stairwell, and it's a tower. And so for me, recognizing the emotions getting stuck in the body, it's like each time we come on a higher level, we're getting a deeper understanding, a deeper understanding, more clarity, more objectivity, more connecting the dots.
00:24:11
Speaker
And right now I might be on the 30th floor of this relationship with my body and pain, but it also feels like um a circuit loop, a trauma loop is coming to close finally, because I'm back in that similar place of the origins of the pain, but it's not expressing itself in the same way. And I am not,
00:24:36
Speaker
oblivious to what's happening. I am like, Oh, oh, this is attempting to take hold again. Interesting. Oh, yeah, shoulders. I'm still trying to hold everything for everyone. I'm still trying to deal with my community and build virtual connections with people. Oh, I'm still trying to protect what I'm feeling from my son so that they don't take it on as men.
00:25:06
Speaker
You know, like, I'm, and we do this as women, it's like, we're always thinking about how are everyone else doing. And even in my most powerful, deepest relationships with wise women. I'm like, where are you at? I'm always testing the ground before I say, I am aching. I am dying right now. I am in another shedding another death. And I don't know who the fuck I'm becoming.
00:25:34
Speaker
And I don't know that I have what it takes to keep trusting, you know, and and this has to stop. This has to stop men have to stop feeling like they are solely responsible for everyone. And women need to stop feeling like they're emotionally solely responsible for how everyone else is doing before they reveal their pain. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And So I have a question for you as you're talking about all of this. I just had this thought and it was, as you're going through this death of sorts, right? Another ego death, whatever you want to call it. Are you.
00:26:22
Speaker
making yourself so okay let me back up and and say what i' I've noticed in the modern day healer world and it is that we shame ourselves for being in this um part of the cycle, in this part of the journey, in this shedding of another identity, which is the spiritual path. It is shedding former identities that no longer serve us so that we're able to, again, reach that higher level in the stairwell, right? And so for you right now, are you are you shaming yourself for this or are you good at now
00:27:07
Speaker
responding in a way that is still in alignment with that higher self. this Is this making sense? Because I feel like a lot, and I think I know what your answer will be, but I think a lot of but women in this space end up shaming themselves for it, holding themselves back and going, I'm not good enough. And also because I don't feel like I'm in quote unquote alignment with my higher self, which actually in reality they are,
00:27:33
Speaker
when they're going through these processes, it's literally part of the process, um then they hold themselves back because they feel that they're not worthy of sharing the information, sharing the journey, or that they don't have value. Great, great, great question. So a few thoughts. First thing I want to suggest is that there is a responsibility when it comes to doing this work and being leaders,
00:28:01
Speaker
And I just wanna, for me, the word leader represents somebody who's been on the path a little bit longer and might know a little bit more, but I mean, it's all lowercase letters, man, like.
00:28:17
Speaker
um So as a leader, there is a responsibility. There is a responsibility in how we're gonna communicate, how we are going to share, what we are going to show,
00:28:32
Speaker
when and how much we're going to show. So discernment must must be learned and mastered discernment. And one of the things that I have discovered about myself, and and we're all different, of course, but even if we take the lens of human design or jean keys into this conversation briefly, even that kind of dissecting of our makeup is going to inform the best way for us to process something and then how and what we do with it afterwards.
Concept of 'Relaxed Growth' and Transformation
00:29:10
Speaker
For myself, I definitely feel first and I go through the process. Part of my personality is I'm extreme. i I have addictive tendencies. I wrestle with addiction. Like I am the full, you know, I polarize myself all the time. And so,
00:29:29
Speaker
What I do is I go in deep and as thorough as I possibly can, which also means I'm not sharing that along the way. Just like how we talked at the beginning of our our conversation about I've been off Instagram actively for a year.
00:29:47
Speaker
because I have been in what feels like a year of such deep transmutation. I did not know if I was coming or going up from down. Like just yesterday I said to a friend, I feel like I'm in a parallel timeline and I'm looking in at this life and this person that looks like me going through the motions and yet I don't feel her. Right? So it's like, I am,
00:30:16
Speaker
I'm transmuting I am mutating yet again I it is a metamorphosis and what became super helpful for me yeah ah about a year and a half ago two years ago the push died, the struggle died, the efforting, the, the, the trying to make sense of things. And I actually rebranded as relaxed growth, because for me, it's like an oxymoron and and just your face when I said that, right? It's like, what, what did you say? It's like cognitive dissonance. The brain has like a hiccup. It's like, what, we can do that.
00:31:00
Speaker
what I don't even know what to do with that. And yet, it's a state. If we are constantly going to be in metamorphosis, altering, changing, refining, re identifying, we got to get real comfortable with the fact that we're always going to be dancing in death.
00:31:25
Speaker
And nobody loves that. no I mean, I think the greatest fear the majority of people have, the majority, like 98.9% of humanity is death. Death of identities, death in that when you feel out of control, you feel like you're dying. Like, I mean, we live death all the time. What's gonna happen with our money? Am I making enough? Oh my God, the cost of things. Like we're constantly in survival, wrestling with death.
00:31:55
Speaker
And yet what we know is true about our emotional healing journey is each time we can pull off a layer or or remove some of the grime or or the the fog, we feel expanded. We feel like, I know for me, it's like taking my first breath. It must feel what that was like, you know, and it's hope. It's like, ah oh my God.
00:32:25
Speaker
Okay. And here I go again. So relaxed growth has been my soulless. And I have to keep reminding myself this is what I want to live from. I want to yield into what's required of me to shift to alter to dance in the darkness, so that I can bring more light, bring more light forward. And We're not doing it by spiritually bypassing you know or oming things away or smudging and I'm all for those tools.
00:33:03
Speaker
but not as tools of distraction and bypassing because we're bypassing, call it what it is. And then life universe creators like fine, I'll dial it up a bit more, the intensity for you, no problem. And the misfortune, and yet the fortune is, and which to me is also a cosmic joke is, the more aware we are,
00:33:30
Speaker
the harder we're going to get slammed. And so it's so funny because my, my intro, my opt-in base course is called five signs you're fighting with the universe. You know, like if we really get honest with ourselves, the universe is kicking our ass and bitch slapping us constantly because we're so thick headed.
00:33:53
Speaker
we are so over controlling and operating from fear and cool that's like okay sweetheart of course i understand and you will never win against the universe it's not going to happen so what do you need to do to relax into the growth That's what
Tango Metaphor for Growth and Letting Go
00:34:16
Speaker
we've got to do. And I think of the tango, I remember being in Paris for a spell and learning with somebody that tango. And I was I'm a leader, right? I'm that alpha femme kind of energy. And he was an alpha dude. And it was like, I couldn't yield to him. But after like, three weeks, I was starting to
00:34:35
Speaker
And my God, it felt so sensual and so liberating and so enlivening because now the energies were moving more freely. I was learning to relinquish control. And so I think of it as the most refined, elegant tango dance we could possibly do.
00:34:58
Speaker
I hope that helps. So good. it's It's amazing because I have clients right now who just question themselves. you know I mean, it's natural to do, especially in the beginning.
00:35:12
Speaker
but um the depth of what you just said about death, for example. I feel that so deeply. This is one of the core lessons that I'm constantly teaching my my older son, my seven-year-old. I mean, if you ask him what death is, or if he hears that somebody died, his first response is, oh, well, that's okay, that's good for them.
00:35:34
Speaker
Good for them because it's not that, you know, they're not gone. They're just into the next phase of life. And he understands it better than most adults do. And and maybe, maybe that's delusional thinking that that's what happens to us or it doesn't really matter. My point is, is I am trying to.
00:35:55
Speaker
build a world for my children to be comfortable and know that they are always safe and because they're infinite and that's who they really are, not this finite part of themselves that tells them that they need to protect themselves at all costs, at all times. And so for me, that also has been the journey and it really is like um removing those layers of the need to control literally every outcome and um and circumstance in my favor because I don't even ultimately know what I want. I have to allow myself to, again, like live in the void to give myself the opportunity to have these possibilities at my fingertips if I even want to see what's available. Like ah me, little S, Dana, little S self,
00:36:55
Speaker
you know that's She doesn't really know a lot and only has a very, very small perspective based off of her one experience of this this human life.
Personal Responsibility in Healing
00:37:05
Speaker
And when I use that to then create and generate outcomes for myself and reverse engineer from that point, I'm giving myself literally two options. It's one, I'm going to succeed at that exact you know outcome that I you know selfishly want.
00:37:21
Speaker
or I don't and I don't get to experience anything else. But off that, I just, I want to say that I also have a client that came to me recently saying that somebody was being really aggressive to her and her DMs about her beliefs and what she's teaching to other women and questioning herself and questioning whether or not she um attracted this or manifested this kind of energy, this attention.
00:37:46
Speaker
And what I told her is, you know, I personally don't have the answers to these questions, but I will tell you my experience is that I am attracting the exact experiences that this body, that this human needs in order to grow and to um have an elevated experience to then share with the people that are quote unquote following me. And so I take those moments as opportunities as opposed to um problems. sorry Like I look at them as if they're opportunities, not issues, not things to be taken care of. It's like, okay, I'm going to take that and and use it to live this um this mission
00:38:37
Speaker
that I've created for myself or that I was given from a higher power. And ultimately, I'm going to use that as an opportunity to embody that. And as I do that, it feels good. It feels expansive. And yet, I am still given more and more opportunities, which are very hard to deal with. And yet, actually, I feel as though they get easier and easier to deal with. Meaning the ones that used to feel really hard if it happened now, I might not even notice because the perspective has changed so much, right? Into this more, just this higher vantage point, I guess, like you put it. I love that. I love what you just said so much. That to me is embodied discernment in action.
00:39:29
Speaker
Because another area, you know, I've been coaching 25 years now and another area that I see where we can really trip up is or not know that discernment is required here is when things like that happens. Somebody makes their way into your DMS or God help they go publicly and start abusing you, which to me is just cowardice quite simply.
00:39:55
Speaker
but we also don't need to completely understand what's happening there. We never will. And so it's like, okay, discernment would be, wow, okay, what is this triggering in me? Obviously, we look at the biggest obvious something that's going on. We take personal responsibility. We ask ourselves how much of this is even mine? It might be, let's say 20%.
00:40:23
Speaker
we let go of the 80%. And my approach to stuff like that, because I just don't have tolerance for it, I can't be bothered, block and delete. Thank you, I'll deal with my 20% you've brought up for me, which is oh, I'm still not fully solid on who I am and what my medicine is.
Handling Criticism with Integrity
00:40:45
Speaker
And this person is an energetic miss for me.
00:40:49
Speaker
And that's what it is. Fact, I don't need to make up more story about it. But how do I get more integral in who the hell I know I am as a messenger of God, creator source, because of what I've had to walk through? Like, keep it simple. Folks, keep it simple. Oh, my God. So in another like, back way to come in at this also is I use those moments where I'm triggered, right where I'm triggered,
00:41:18
Speaker
by somebody else saying something about me. I'm just going to stick with the whole, um, people coming at you thing, just especially because I'm coming off the tail end of the vulnerable AF, which is all about being seen, paid and loved for what you do without worrying about what other people freaking think. And that's how you become you know ah vulnerable and paid and all of the things. So I, um, I,
00:41:41
Speaker
I, so if I see somebody say something about me, which I have been publicly attacked multiple times. And at this point, like genuinely does not bother me. Like I might forget to even tell like my husband who I tell everything, cause I don't care. But um if it does affect me, right? Like you just said, I can look at that and go, oh,
00:42:09
Speaker
What's going on with you, Dana? Like what is going on with you that you're affected? Because like this guy, it wasn't, it was probably a year ago now, but this guy said something about me on one of my posts and he goes, it was so simple. He goes, too coachy. And I was like, and I wrote back and I said, too judgy.
00:42:32
Speaker
I love it. And I knew what I was doing. I was watching myself do it. I was like, you is you, it girl, it's you. But I was, I couldn't, I just had to do it. I just couldn't help myself. And I knew right then I was off my, what I call my spiritual horse.
00:42:49
Speaker
that's when I'm in pain you know like my back is hurting like I might have broken my ankle I like I hit my head maybe but I'm suffering like something's happening I need to get back on the spiritual horse meaning I need to get back to my spiritual practices that I know help me to fill my cup so that I don't have to ah use anger or resentment to manufacture a sense of fulfillment right And so those moments where somebody attacks me and I actually do have a response to it, those are the moments where I also get to go, ding, ding, ding, opportunity.
00:43:24
Speaker
I love that. Like there's our humanity. It's never going away. It doesn't matter how many certificates we have, or I don't know how many times we've been blessed by some Baba mama, God guru embodiment, it doesn't matter. The humanity part is always there. And to be able to quickly laugh after we do something like that.
Embracing Humanity for Spiritual Growth
00:43:53
Speaker
That's when we know we're pivoting because yeah, those parts and it could be I didn't sleep well, my hormones are off, somebody's upsetting me, you know, that's our humanity. That's that's that very human part of us reminding us we are human.
00:44:08
Speaker
And that's the opportunity to also remember be on your knees, we're never invincible, we're never going to be unstoppable, we're never ever going to be some divine expression. I mean, we like to call ourselves that but in actual lived experience, we are always human first and our wounds and our lack of sleep or lack of eating properly or our kid pissed us off or
00:44:39
Speaker
somebody put a post that we didn't like, all of this is going to constantly rub us. There could be a smell in the air and we're like, ah, a music that comes on and we're like, that's bothering my ears and my inner peace. Like life is constantly going to give us rubs. And so the swifter we pivot And that for me is usually when I'm laughing going, Oh, man, I let my like quadruple Aries decide I'm going to tell this guy what's really going on. Because I'm on my spiritual soapbox. And yet after I do something like that, now I'll probably delete it.
00:45:23
Speaker
But you know what, sometimes I need to do it. And I'm and that's just okay, because there's this still, you know, rebellious, very angry at her parents 12 year old that has a moment and she's like, you suck and I want you to know it and you're kind of dumb and you're so not evolved. But then I am basically just doing it from a higher vantage point of, well, I'm not that evolved if I'm acting this way. But then I tell myself, but I am because I know what I'm doing. And so you know what, be okay with it, play with it, don't take yourself so seriously. And delete if you can, as soon as you can, because it really does it set stuff in motion that you don't want to play in like it's a slippery slope and we go down hard and fast. Okay.
00:46:20
Speaker
So bad.
00:46:23
Speaker
It's so funny because it's so true. Who is harder on themselves than modern day healers? Some people who are like, I'm here to heal the world. And then you do something F'd up and you're like, Oh God, who am I? What am I doing? Wait, I suck. I am the worst. I'm not aligned. I can't teach. Who? What am I? What? How? What? I am. I can't do this. I can't, I'm going to just go into the background and never show my face again because I keep fucking something. I can't get it. And it's like, no, these are the opportunities. these are the These are the times to lean into and to be like, oh my God, I'm also a human. And that's not going to change.
00:47:05
Speaker
Right. And maybe it's time to spend a little bit of energy on your 12 year old, if that's the part of you that's like, I'm coming out of the box. And this is my moment. Well, then let her have a healthy, constructive way of coming out. Because we don't want the 12 year old speaking for us in our business. Oh, my dear God, no. Anybody that has a 12 year old knows that is not who we want leading. But at the same time, I'm like,
00:47:34
Speaker
how you're fiery like okay can I like borrow some of that please and I'm in a healthier way right because we do become more impeccable with our words and sometimes maybe that's the the discharge um valve is we really need to say something without overthinking without being all poised and eloquent and maybe we're just pissed off that the world is so fucked up right now and we're feeling the pressure of showing up
00:48:12
Speaker
being these leaders and really in our bones knowing I've been being groomed for this for a long time, and as much as I want to just jump out of this responsibility.
00:48:24
Speaker
Okay, two things can coexist. I can be attempting to align with that leader part of me. But wow, my 12 year old is freaking out because she was abandoned. She was overwhelmed at 12. She was in full on survival and fear. Oh, maybe I need to put a little bit of my energy into helping her feel safe. So I'm not blurting.
00:48:48
Speaker
You know, and so it's not to beat ourselves up but look at where's the gap and it might be lack of sleep will then get better sleep. Eat better you know it's all of these are opportunities to just see. Okay, this is what's coming forward right now. Oh.
00:49:06
Speaker
good, I am human. I'm not a saint. And just because this is a really important part for me, I really also think it's imperative that we don't present ourselves as some saint or something more than a human, because that is always going to work against us. That's like a boomerang that's going to come back. And so being able to vocalize that, you know, or make a teaching about that wow today somebody really irked me they got into my my inbox and this is what I did with it who okay like we normalize this stuff that is probably the healthiest thing any of us as leaders can do is help normalize that which brings us shame so to the point I don't feel shame about how I show up now
00:50:00
Speaker
or what parts are, I just pivot as swiftly as I can and expand it so that I'm like, okay, that was cool. Maybe I don't need to repeat that again in that way.
Healing Before Business Success
00:50:14
Speaker
Yes. Yes. I have so many things I want to say. I will keep it short and sweet because we don't have a lot of time, but going back to one of the pieces that you were talking about with like your children, for example, i it just made me think of The fact that i you know when you start when you start a business and it has to do with your higher calling, the my experience was that I actually had to stop doing everything except
00:50:48
Speaker
heal. I actually had to focus and not bypass the healing. And until I did that, I was not able, I was not able to build something sustainable and definitely not fun.
00:51:04
Speaker
Like, i I wanted this. i want What I have right now is what I wanted, but was incapable of creating until I allowed myself the space to heal and to focus on first things first, because I do kind of think there's a process.
00:51:20
Speaker
and if we like you were talking about, if we bypass everything and we just tell ourselves that we can do it all at the same time or ah when in your heart, you know that you haven't made the full change yet, right? Like a genuine transformation where you're like, i wow, I surprised myself. I have shocked myself. I don't even know who I am anymore. If you are telling yourself that and you know in your heart of hearts that it's not completely true and that you have somewhere that
00:51:52
Speaker
You feel like maybe you need to. prioritize your attention, do it because it's for the better. min not just It's not about you, right? Like at the end of the day, it's actually not about you. It is about your 12 year old. It is about your husband. It is about your partner. It's about your friends. It's about other people healing because you are the embodiment of healing. That's what light is. That's what we're doing here. It's not just about making a business and marketing something that sounds nice. Like it's about taking
00:52:25
Speaker
full responsibility for your behavior, for your emotions, and for the way that you interact with the world and the way that you react to other people when they do things that irritate you. It's up to you. and so when like I really feel like most people listening to Modern Day Healer, to this podcast, do take or at the very least desire to take full responsibility in our learning how to do that as as they grow, just like we are. um But I do know people who have that healer title, if you will, they've self-proclaimed, and I still hear the the um vast amounts of control
00:53:08
Speaker
that they want on the diaper industry, on the cosmetics industry, on literally every external thing. But when you really think about what spirituality is, it's either everything or nothing at all. Therefore, you don't get to sit there and compartmentalize what you think is right or wrong or whatever. All you get to do is take responsibility for your reactions to it. That's it. And then when you do that and you can actually let go of things and forgive the world for being the world and yourself for being affected by it. That's when healing can happen and miracles are born. And then your business really grows. Amen. Honestly, that was so beautifully said. Like I hope everybody really hears that and I would even encourage them to rewind that and listen to it a few times because it comes down to it is our personal responsibility
00:54:07
Speaker
to rewrite the narrative, the story of what our life has been.
Role of a Healer: Leading by Example
00:54:14
Speaker
And we're constantly reiterating, refining, rewriting. And then it comes to a point like I don't think I never came into this journey of healing myself and understanding what was going on to be a healer.
00:54:30
Speaker
I can't heal anyone. I can't even heal my own sons, and there are 34 and 31. I can hopefully lead by example, and my energy can hopefully get so solid that when I share, when I convey, when I communicate, it's a transmission that lands in their heart and slowly starts to crack them open.
00:54:59
Speaker
That's all I can do because I'm relatable, maybe, you know, and even if it's unconsciously being related to, which is probably the bigger part of us that's going to be feeling the impact of a transmission.
00:55:16
Speaker
we just are hoping that somebody can learn a little bit quicker. And that's then become my personal responsibility as an educator, as a teacher, as as a messenger, as a a leader in the industry, is that is now my responsibility to take those experiences, distill them down into a way that is better understood, more felt, and offers like a little bridge for somebody a map a path for somebody to try on. It's like somebody going and taking ayahuasca. I am all for the timing and placement of these sacred medicines because they are profound. But
00:56:07
Speaker
that journey is going to be different every single time you take the medicine based on where you're starting from. So there is no panacea for anything. There just isn't. We've got to realize my commitment is to becoming more whole. So for me, it was so that my sons might be able to evolve more swiftly. And I celebrate when they get something, you know,
00:56:35
Speaker
1520 years before I even got it. I'm like, Amen. This was worth it. You know, and the same as how we're showing up to lead others. All we can share is here's my flashlight through that version of darkness. Do you want to try it on? You know, I'm I was thorough in it. So I can really, you know, offer you that but how you do it, how you're going to fall, how you're going to get up, what the outfit looks like, that's your personal like experience, right? But when we move through something, and, you know, I have this this chapter of one of my trimesters of a mentorship, and it's called flipping wounds to wisdom, when we take our wounds,
00:57:21
Speaker
and they no longer hurt us, then it's our wisdom. That's where we speak from. That's where soul transmits from, right? But if we're spewing from the rawness, the pain, we are going to naturally attract more people who are in that frequency and then who's leading who, right? And so I think there's a timing And if we are tapped into this as an act of devotion, we know it's like we're just turned on and it's like, Oh Christ, it's time. Oh, I'm responsible to start sharing this now. Like you must know that yourself. It's like, we don't decide because how many times I've went to launch something and I go to do it and I'm like, Nope, there's no gas.
00:58:10
Speaker
hard stop and then other times you're like in the lowest of the low like where I'm at right now I was sharing with you I'm going through some serious dark nights and I'm like I'm gonna have a podcast interview wow what is gonna come through it doesn't matter it was time and it was to happen now and it's perfect. So we've got to again be able to relax into these states and let the growth happen and trust that there is a wisdom guiding us. It's all perfect in its imperfection.
Commitment to Spiritual Growth
00:58:50
Speaker
Lana. So you are the perfect example of somebody coming on this podcast, being raw, real and vulnerable about your experience of life, where you're at right now, talking about the dark night, you know, not knowing where you are up from down and yet still having something to transfer to the other people, a transference, you know, that something to transmit, energy to transmit, you still, and you still have wave after wave after wave of healing energy to transmit. And I think that is the key. Like, and I teach this in everything that I do, that it is absolutely not about the information, it's about the transformation. And if you have not made a transformation, it is going to be so difficult for you to build a business based off of of transformation if you don't have the energy to transmit to other people. And here's the point that I'm trying to make is that no matter what,
00:59:49
Speaker
if you're still growing, which of course you will be, you're a human. but so As you're growing, there's no um Lana is, like you said, you are normalizing the felt experience of being a freaking human on this journey and not glamorizing this spiritual leadership leadership that we have taken on as our responsibility as humans on earth. right so It's really being okay with always being in the evolutionary process of spiritual growth and then knowing that as you allow that to happen, as you take the pressure off of yourself and you let yourself be in this full experience of it, you are changing. And you are allowing yourself to hold that new energy, that fresh energy. And no matter what happens along the way, as long as you stay on the path and you continue to follow it, you're going to have that transmission to give to other people, regardless of whether or not you're feeling good or not. Like Lana is sitting here telling us exactly how it is. And yet I have chills the whole time. and truth, the highest frequency is clearly being spoken and it's cutting right through any of the words right that are explaining the human experience because ultimately, like that's not what's being transmitted. What's being transmitted is that energy, that healed energy.
01:01:15
Speaker
her Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. yeah Thank you. And I'm going to wrap this conversation up. I think it has been ah just incredible, like so amazing, so raw, so real, so vulnerable. And um I think it's given everyone who's listening, if you were ever feeling like you couldn't share your humanity.
Sharing Human Side of Healing
01:01:44
Speaker
the real It's like you have to. This is a part of it. Maybe don't share the mess, right? Share the lesson, but know that that's where the growth is. That's where the the truth is. that's That's what people need from you to relate to this journey. You are human. It's not going away right now. It's just not. so
01:02:05
Speaker
um Lana, thank you so much again for being on the show and I would love to know where can people find you and do you have any offerings
Announcement of 'Birthing the Wise Woman'
01:02:16
Speaker
right now? You are gonna be aired next Wednesday, so. This is marvelous, thank you. Well, the most important offering of my life is has has been finally congealed and this has been eight years of ah being tested and challenged by the creator for it to come together. And it is called Birthing the Wise Woman. And this is a three part initiation that lasts over a year and a half, almost two years. The first level will be starting in January and it's a five month um intensive initiation into how to become
01:03:04
Speaker
spiritually responsible as a human being like because it's very conflicting and that initial aspect of the training is remembering you are the medicine like it's not outside of us right and so that is the first five months And it it oscillates from masterclass to masterminds and and and really deep cathartic work that is sequentially important and necessary. Then the nine month journey that starts after that, which will start in September 2025, is called Phoenix Rising. Now this is coming in with solid foundations.
01:03:46
Speaker
around being groomed as the spiritual leader because now you're leading your life and you've you're learning to trust you've got you. And then how do you take everything that's happened and flip it transmuted into its highest expression, right? This is alchemy.
01:04:06
Speaker
Um, and then the third level will be about a four month container and that's the business mastery. So that's actually, it's so interesting because I'm in the refinement of that level of teaching now. Like I am living it, trying not to wrestle too hard with it myself. And we share, um, the same coach. So we are in a high level business mastery container ourselves and really learning to release the access. Again, relax into what's happening and land on our feet or be on our knees with humility and devotion. I mean, I really believe spiritual healers, spiritual leaders are chosen. We don't, if you're seeking this out of the gate to be called that, I really don't think
01:04:58
Speaker
it's gonna work in your favor because you're the one driving. So yeah, that's the best I could do to help human beings learn how to dance the tango with the universe and still feel like they could handle living from their hearts in this vulnerability and curiosity.
01:05:21
Speaker
Oh my gosh, you know, we we talked about how being a human and choosing this path is definitely the more difficult one, but it's also the more fun one. And we didn't touch on that a whole lot, but you know you're talking about the relaxed approach and the way you do business, the way I do business, and look at what we're doing right now. I just want everyone listening to know that yes, while this is, of course, it's the harder path. You're made, you are forced to take responsibility for everything. That's hard.
01:05:55
Speaker
But it's also so fun because you get to do interviews like this, you get to hang out with people who are like your best friends, people who you would actually want to go out to coffee with. Like these are your clients, these are your colleagues, this is your world, right? So I'm just saying that everything Lana is talking about with um with the offers, it's like,
01:06:18
Speaker
go check them out, because it will make your life more fun. It'll be hard, but it'll be fun. um Right? Yeah. i was a rich we're We're investing in a richer life. And this means we whoever we're investing in, we're all getting rid of the excess, the protection, the all of that stuff. We have to that's when true friendship can be birthed. And then you have your traveling companions, right, who help you not feel so crazy in the uncertainty of it all continuously. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's so true, and it feels so good. It feels, it's so freeing and liberating, and it is like a lighter place to be. It's hard, but it's light, so. um Lana, thank you again. I will link everything in the show notes. You're amazing. and
01:07:10
Speaker
Anybody listening, if you love today's podcast episode or you loved any of the other ones, please give the Modern Day Healer podcast a five star review so that people can find Lana and myself and other modern day healers can connect and actually build a business or just a life that is being led by heart and healing. It's just, it's the best. Thank you. Thank you, Lana. You are amazing. Dana, thank you.