Transcript
Speaker: Hello mortals, just a quick disclaimer before we begin. This is a vampire podcast and as such we'll be dealing with issues like drugs, alcohol, mental issues, violence, adult situations, death, and of course blood. So enjoy the show.
Speaker: All right, welcome once again, mortals, to this session of Vampire the Masquerade, fifth edition, Houston After Dark, by the Integrated Dice Management podcast. I am your storyteller, Ron Bjork, and with me tonight is Bill. Howdy, y 'all, I'm Bill. We'll be playing your wonderful, lovable,
Speaker: uh, therapists, Jerry, Jerry will, uh, but I'm also tonight going to be playing the chief visionary officer for, uh, a fortune 500 company as well. I don't know if it's a fortune 500 company, but it could be. Yeah. I mean, I do have a large sum of cash. Uh, well, speaking of large sums of cash up next is Jayden.
Speaker: Hi, my name is Jayden. I'll be playing Wesley Isaac, owner of Isaac Genetics. Yeah, my wife has a Lexus. And I live in Spring Trails. It is a character trait that she has a Lexus. It is. And she has brown hair.
Speaker: I do need to make a character sheet for her, specifically for the Lexus. No. Actually, did I make one? I think we had the picture. Yeah, I think you have it. Humans. Oh, yeah, that's pretty sure. Carol Isaac. Yeah, right here. She had it. We have the character sheet for Alexis. Well, it's not for the Lexus, but that is one of the notes on the sheet. Yes. But yeah, thank you. Up next is Frank.
Speaker: Hey everyone, I'm Frank. Um, I currently don't have a monitor, but I'm also playing Cole. I forgot my last name cause I can't see it. Um, you're not very mild mannered anymore. Um, tech genius. Um, but I'm also going to be playing a board member who has no name and I did not look up a title. So let's call it master of whispers.
Speaker: I dropped a list of corporate titles into Discord. I was wondering where you're getting that stuff from. Somebody put me out of the room. You should be the chief cloud officer. The individual within the business who has the primary responsibility to ensure the organization is getting the most out of the cloud computing. Chief cloud officer, you said?
Speaker: Mm hmm. So I'm the chief executive officer, right? Yes. Yeah. You're the only time you're the only title that anyone has ever heard of. Yes. Correct. You should you should just be the chief technology officer. You could do. Yeah. OK. And last and least.
Speaker: Oh, it's true. My name's Hayden. I'm playing Max Cox. Yeah, you are in my. Throwback to last week. My NPC is. You know what? The chief diversity officer, if diverse. All right. OK, and so.
Speaker: we today in the game world is monday january 6th 2020 um top news uh actor george lopez accepts iran's bounty to assassinate president trump so what if that happens uh i remember that i don't remember that i don't remember that that's insane good
Speaker: Deputies use drone to locate teens involved in a robbery robbery chase in in Cyprus precinct 5 and Frozen 2 becomes the highest grossing animated movie of all time. Dren gone Twitter Harvey Weinstein Joaquin Phoenix and the Puerto Rico earthquakes All right, who who remembers what happened last time because honestly I barely remember anything I
Speaker: Um, as far as I remember, we didn't do too much. We more took the night off. The main part of it was finding out that the app side of this company of the startup. Oh, yes. Someone's been playing with it and there's been a premium charge. And so we're trying to figure it out. But it has little to no connections with Isaac. Genetics, correct? Yes. OK, that's right. That.
Speaker: Yeah, we didn't do a whole lot last time. That's what happened. And before that, you guys found out information on the various sires and stuff like that. And you discovered that there's a vampire club at U of H.
Speaker: Uh, and you also, uh, Oh yeah, I sent this text in the group chat. A text? Yeah, to the company group chat. When I re listened to the, the episode. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. And I lost my train of thought. Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker: Yeah. Tonight, the thing that at least Wesley Isaacs cares about is that he has a board meeting at 8 p .m. Wesley, what do you do when you wake up tonight? I do what I always do. I actually roll.
Speaker: At the bottom of your sheet, roll Rouse to see if you get hungrier, because we didn't do that last time. You do, you're currently at hunger three. Okay, so I go to four? Well, no, no, I just bumped you up. Okay, okay. I was looking at it and clicked on it. So you jump up to hunger three. Okay. Wow. That's, hmm. I got a little grumble in my stomach. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker: But yeah, I jumped to my feet. I brushed my teeth because I got those pearly whites, those canine sharp tooth. I got to look good for camera, especially since I'm proposing a deal tonight to my fellow associates. And then I see my wife because I've been sleeping all day and the kids have just gone to sleep.
Speaker: Well, I guess it'd be probably around six, six, six, 30 somewhere. Yeah, right. That's OK. So they're still awake. I see them. We have dinner. My breakfast. And then I am. What do you mean? As you sit down to dinner, you know, your wife puts a plate of of pork chops in front of you and the kids and one of the kids is like, I hate pork. How many kids do you have?
Speaker: Two. One of them's like, I hate pork chops. I want chicken. And she's like, well, well, too bad. I hate pork chops. I want chicken nuggies. There's one that's seven and then one that's nine. The girl, Sarah Jared nine. Do you can't be worse than my ex's kid. You eat the pork chops. I do. Do I have to roll to see if I throw up immediately?
Speaker: So you'll have to do another rouse check. You could, if you wanted to, do Breath of Life. Yeah, but that requires another rouse check. I recommend doing the Breath of Life with a rouse. Okay. Yeah, because you realize if you don't do that Breath of Life check, you're going to have to also make a charisma check to not piss off your wife. That's true.
Speaker: you'd immediately throw it up otherwise. Okay, so how do I do that? So, let's go. You have a board meeting and a divorce the same day. Like that. Do a rouse check again. Okay. All right. So, Brett, it always works, but you get hungrier. You're able to keep it down for now.
Speaker: Um, but you're now, you now need to bump up. She sees you struggling. Yeah. So this is hard for me. This is crazy. I'm like sweating this entire time. I'm like, anytime she asks me anything, I'm like, yes, honey. And honestly, at this hunger level, it probably tastes awful. It probably tastes like ash. You ask.
Speaker: You ask if there's like any leftover pork chops. Can I get the sauce, please? And they're like, yeah, there's like three left. And if there's she's like, yeah, there's three raw ones in the fridge over there just are eating the fucking raw. I start drinking the butter like. You start sucking on the marrow bone. You know, pork chops, they got to be well done. You can't you can't have medium rare pork.
Speaker: So there's not a drop of blood left in these things. Who told you that? I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to eat undercooked pork. Yeah, that's why Judy is an outlawed pork a lot because it had a lot of health risks. Pork and chicken you're supposed to fully cook.
Speaker: Whatever. I mean, that's what they say. I live in the 21st century where I can get my stomach pumped. Thank you. I will live as adventurously as I want. Now, I will agree with you on the chicken, though. As soon as you swallow this this meat down, you know, it is it is your insides are not not happy about this. You're going to have to go get rid of that. Also, you've made yourself very hungry. Yeah, this is a problem.
Speaker: And you're going to a board meeting with a bunch of Happy Meals right there. Well, I'm gonna put... Is my wife coming to this board meeting? No, she doesn't work with me. Okay, I'm gonna put her to bed and then... Well, no, okay. I'm gonna slip her, I've been a drill, and her food while she's meeting. Can I roll for this?
Speaker: This entire roleplay is just so intense. Do you have no power or something where you could just be like, go to sleep? No, I don't. So I have I have a sleight of hand is larceny. So you don't have larceny. So it's just going to be a flat dexterity check.
Speaker: Now you can make another rouse check to give you a dice bonus. Oh no, I don't think I should. You're gonna fucking see your wife, bro. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. No, I'm gonna just do this dexterity with what? Just a straight dexterity check. I hope you fail the fuck out of this wall. She sees you drugging. Oh no, what's gonna happen?
Speaker: Divorce lawyer tomorrow, you're 50 % less rich. You got one success. Let me blow up. Don't act like you're giving it to her. Drink it yourself. Carol Isaac, did I give her stats yet? I feel like you put it in there, and she's giving you a weird look, and you're like, oh, this is for me. Play this off. I'd be like, look. Hey, I'm about to be up super late. I want you to have a good night's sleep. All right. I'm going to do something. I'm going to make this random, because she's a weak lord also.
Speaker: She's going to die. It's going to be so sad. I need to do 2d9 to determine what her two high stats are. Yeah, all my food is tough. The Benadryl is going to upset her. Two eights? Damn it. Damn. OK, let me just do it again. Don't give me another eight. It's going very slow. What the heck? Fuck your rolls, Ron.
Speaker: How come I can never be that successful in roles? Four. So she has two in Charisma and then two in Wits. Well, that's not good for you. And then her skills... All right, we'll just do plain Wits for now. We'll give her a two dice chance. If she gets more successes, then she spots this. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
Speaker: Literally literally the number you did not need Reaching over there and it's like, uh, uh, honey, what what are you doing? Oh my god Don't worry. You know, I just want you to have a good night's sleep. I'm gonna you know Tidy up everything before I have to go to work taking care of the kids all day. I'm gonna have a good night's sleep It's what day is today that the
Speaker: It's today is January 6th. It's still Christmas vacation. Yeah, exactly. So sleep in tomorrow. It's going to be a great night. Look, well, I'm going to sleep in tomorrow. You're the CEO. I don't got to do shit. Give me this. Give me a persuasion rule. Manipulate the charisma plus. No, this is manipulating her. Give me a manipulate.
Speaker: Persuasion plus manipulation. OK. Any modifiers? No, unless you've got the modifier, unless you've got the specialty lying to my manipulating my wife, three successes. OK. I don't know that be she can't unless she gets a crit. I don't think she can do this, so she has to get two tins.
Speaker: Uh, well, she did good, but she didn't get two tens. So, um, you got more successes. She, after some bickering back and forth, she's like, okay, fine. Well, don't put it in my food. I'll just take it with a glass of water. And you know, she, she takes some Benadryl easy class. She's going to hate him. All right. All right. All right.
Speaker: So it's a quick PSA out to anyone watching. Don't drug your significant other. Don't do this. I'm a vampire. It's different. We need to put content on front of this episode. Be like, yeah, we're talking about some potentially harmful things to people. See, it's like it's like that saying you can have your pancakes with brown sugar or syrup. I have both of mine because I'm a piece of shit.
Speaker: For a second, I thought you were going to be like, well, you can have your pancakes with Adderall or Benadryl. And I was like, all right. Or do you want to sleep in 30 minutes? Anyways, like I said, we have 30 minutes now she took that. So what time did you say it was? It was six thirty when you sat down to eat. OK, so this is probably like six forty. So let's see, she's got.
Speaker: Uh, two points in science. Uh, and number eight would be two points in stealth randomly. I have four points in science. And then, uh, that doesn't make sense that she has two points in science. And then the third number is 10 and two, she's got two in stealth, two in survival, two in science. And then. Maybe she's a private investigator.
Speaker: She gets five stats at one, so number 13, 10, 11, 12, 13. One in intimidation, 10 would be animal kin, 14 would be leadership, three would be craft, and 25 would be politics. So she's got a one in craft, two in stealth, two in survival, one in animal kin, intimidation, leadership in politics, and two in science.
Speaker: And as a weak mortal, she gets no other things. So there now she's now your wife is started out. She's started out. Yeah, so, OK, so she goes to sleep around seven, I guess. Yeah, which will give me an hour or 30 minutes to get ready after I roll to eat.
Speaker: Finally, so she's knocked out one of your kids to not eat one of your kids Well, here's the thing. So let's see. Let me let me look at this You're at hunger for so That would be all right, so you're gonna feed on your wife. Yes. All right, so I Really hope this isn't a foreshadowing for your future marriage. So the first thing you need to do
Speaker: At the bottom of your sheet, roll the - click the frenzy button to see if you frenzy. Would you fucking murder your wife? We've never done this before, so I'm hoping this - Difficulty one? Uh, no. It is difficulty, uh, three. Ooh. Yeah, cause you're hungry as shit, dude. Okay.
Speaker: You ate that pork chop. Oh, oh, oh, you did good. Oh, God. You did good. There you go. Oh, hell yeah. Am I seriously the only one that has fucking that has fucking failed a feeding check? Well, I think we did yours wrong, to be fair, but yes. Oh, OK. So you feel the beast welling up as you bite into your sleeping wife's throat or wherever you buy her.
Speaker: Um, and, uh, how, so how much blood are you going to take? How much does she, can she survive? How much does she need? Come on, let's be honest here. Like one, 20, one 30. You call Bill's character. Hey man, how much can the human body have until there's like barely enough blood?
Speaker: Well, let's see at one at one leader law. She's going to be dizzy and have a headache at two leaders law. She's probably going to lose consciousness measured in that way. Alright, so. So a sip from a human gets you one a maximum non harmful drink would get you two. A harmful drink that risks death unless treated would be three to four and then they're dead if you take five.
Speaker: OK, well, I'll take two. So yeah, so you can reduce your hunger by two. And I'm just going to write down that you fed on your wife this night for two points. Are my kids asleep?
Speaker: Oh god no it's winter vacation what kid goes to sleep at 7 p .m. During during whatever I had a horrible thought that you're gonna go feed on your kids to Walk up to him be like hey, baby. Can you take this pill for daddy? I Hope you live
Speaker: Oh, my God, dude, so bad. So they are put parental content video. They are what? They are mind controlled in some way. You don't know the specifics to not question these things. Oh, yeah. Isn't my wife supposed to be like that, too? Or did you just notice? Have to feed on your wife. You did not have to drug your wife. Oh, by the way, since you found her, that's a 1D.
Speaker: One, two, three, four. What? To see what mood she was in. Well, no, she was sleepy. She was drugged. So she's going to be in the. She's going to be in the good feeling, good category. Yeah, well, she's in the phlegmatic category, which gives you phlegmatic. I like that word. Oh, this this chart I have doesn't tell me that I have to look at that in a little bit, but
Speaker: Um, depending on who you feed, you get, you know, certain bonuses to your disciplines. I'll figure that out. Are you going to go feed on your kids? Yeah. After asleep or, or I guess they don't, I don't know. I thought I had some fucked up thoughts. No, bro. They are not. They would not be asleep. No. Um, three cattle. He says Christ to.
Speaker: I swear to God, you're a fucking monster. You're going to chain up your wife and kids in the fucking basement. No, I'm not. It's just circumstance. Just going to start just going to start reveling in the in the flavor of their fear whenever they have to be. This is what life crippling addictions and sociology not makes. All right, guys, so with children, the the safe amount you can take is only one.
Speaker: That's fine. Yeah, and three kills them. I'll just take one from each. Do I need to roll for that? Wait, we have stats on feeding on kids? I'm just determining this, yeah. Oh, OK. I was about to be like, this game gets too deep. If they were like older teenagers, I'd probably give them the same as adults. But these are both younger than 10 years old. They're very young. So yeah, they're in there. They're playing Kirby All -Stars on the Switch.
Speaker: Losers. What do you do? Yeah, that they're playing. You have loser kids. They're just sitting on the ground away. I'll just sneak behind them and just like make them feel like they won for a second. If you know what I'm saying. Oh, my God. So you you bite into the older one or the younger one? I'll do the older one first because the younger one is. Yeah, more blood. So I'm visually blanking this out for my mind. Oh, yeah. I should point out.
Speaker: Um, you only need to feed on one of them because you to reduce your hunger to zero. You have to kill. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll do the older one then do either. Do you hate either of those kids? No, this this don't don't feel great. This isn't harmful to them. You're going to raise some fucked up children. You're never going to know your kids are going to have therapy their entire fucking life. They're going to come see me.
Speaker: What are you talking about? I care. I care. Jerry cares. You bite into your child and oh God. Yeah, number one. Never did Ron think he would have to say those words in his life. You bite into the fleshy neck of your child.
Speaker: He freezes for a minute. What's the younger one doing? Bill, role play the younger one. Daddy, what are you doing? The younger one. So as you bite into the older child, the younger one looks over and his eyes kind of glaze over for a second and then he turns cloud forward. Yeah, just like hit like they don't in filter. They don't change color, but they give that kind of
Speaker: where you're now suddenly daydreaming look like you're no longer paying attention type look. And he just stares forward until basically you're done. And the other kid basically does not react. You didn't see shit. OK. All right. I'll see you all tomorrow. And they also don't tell mommy. I don't know if you can.
Speaker: lose a game of Kirby, but they lose a game of Kirby at because of this fucking losers out.
Speaker: Yeah. Do you lick everyone's next to seal the wounds? Yeah. Do you lick your kids? We need to edit so much of this out. This is so fun. It has to happen. This isn't, this isn't about anything. This is just for survival purposes only. Right. All right. If I found the proper charge. Now let's see what your kids mood is. Um, if, if we edit this,
Speaker: video, it's going to be so choppy. There's going to be so many split ends on this video. Oh, yeah. OK. So he has a well balanced negligible resonance in the persuasion of what he's having fun. So he would be until you ate him. He would be in the mood of. Sanguine, so happy.
Speaker: So he was in a happy mood, which gives you, I don't know if you have either of these things, blood sorcery or presence. Presence, you do have presence. So if you do a roll with presence, so if you use all, rolls involving that ability will have a plus one dice bonus. So I'm putting in resonance, sanguine resonance,
Speaker: plus one to presence. OK. On the off chance that we actually remember that. Granted, you're probably going to use that power soon. OK. OK. And so then after you're done feeding on your children. I put on a suit and I head towards work. All right. You're heading towards work. This is the worst cup of coffee in the morning you've ever had. That was the best cup of coffee.
Speaker: Meanwhile, the next person to wake up will go with Cole. So Cole. Oh, wait, is Frank there? Is Frank even like he was doing things. Frank. Your life, buddy. I think he's putting on his headphones. Oh, he's here. He's getting here. Doing something. No, he sorry. I think I just messed up my water cooler.
Speaker: Well, what do you mess him with it for in the middle of the game? He got thirsty. I haven't had a part in the game just yet and it's been too awkward to jump in. Have you not heard us speak? Have you not been listening? That's why I have state silence. Oh, and get ready. We're not going to be any quieter for yours. It's going to be intense. Well, Cole, just before
Speaker: you wake up for the evening. Normally, when you wake up, you're just instantly awake. But there's a very brief moment where you hear intangible, everybody start whispering unintelligible things quietly. Oh, my god.
Speaker: That's like that. Like that. 9 -11. 9 -11 was conspiracy. Yeah, you can hear unintelligible whispers for a few seconds. The world is flat, Australia's not real. Government is run by snakes. And as soon as your eyes snap open, the whispers stop. What the fuck was that? They don't start back up. You're alone in whatever... I don't know. Where are you at?
Speaker: Uh, this is probably the final time I stay with my, uh, my mentor. I was still trying to get my place ready. All right. So you're still sleeping on a cot in an office building. That is correct. Okay. Um, so, uh, yeah, so you wake up on your cot, uh, is there anything you're going to do? You know, when you, oh, we need to make you, you need to roll for to see if you get hungry.
Speaker: So rouse check at the bottom of your sheets. Of course, it's not as big a deal when you get hungry, because you've got blood on hand. Although, I don't remember. I need to keep track of how much blood you have. It should be on the core page. You're only a hunger one. You do not get hungrier, so you don't even need to feed.
Speaker: Do you have any anything particular you want to do now that you're awake? I mean my biggest plans for they probably finish up getting my. My. Layer in order or my home in order. Alright, well then. We can just for that we can just move on from you, you know, cause we'll get to the group thing in a little bit.
Speaker: because that doesn't require any special dice rolls or anything. I probably want to say goodbye to my sire, since I'm done getting my picture. You've realized that this is the office building that she operates out of, and you can usually find her in her office looking through paper documents
Speaker: because she can't use computers and looking over what, you know, basically the reports from what happened during the day and her business, whatever that may be. So that's usually what she's doing. So I probably just go kind of on the door frame.
Speaker: I'm like, hey, so I pretty much got my place all set up, so I'll be out of here tonight. So it's okay. Well, good luck. And, you know, I'm sure I'll pop by at some point. And if you, you know, you need anything, just, you know where to find me. I'll usually be here, or at least you can,
Speaker: Presumably she gave you somebody's phone number that you could contact to contact her, you know, her secretary or whatever. Yeah. I got your secretary James's cell number. So I can give him your, your Thrall or Gollum. I forgot what you called. Oh, well, it's called a ghoul. There we go. That's, that's the one I'm still up on the terminology names.
Speaker: Oh, it's fine. You know, us old folk like to use our terminology, but, you know, I'm sure your generation will come up with new words. Yeah, but I mean, Google was created like centuries ago, so my generation is kind of lacking. Well, you know, once you're 200 years old, you can probably make your own words.
Speaker: But that's when you get set in your ways. It's not what we're arguing about. I guess. All right. So then the last thing I guess would be the thing I talked to you about earlier. Oh. To try and make or use your your phone. Yeah, for whatever reason, so that I could kind of get a weird ink
Speaker: Oh, that's right. Well, I don't know. Um, what are you going to do to cause her to use your phone? Um, I don't know. It doesn't matter. We can, we can figure something out with that in a little bit or something more interesting for that. Yeah.
Speaker: All right. Well, um, you know, good night. Oh, so was there a time limit on me doing the, uh, the app or not yet, but the fixing the technology thing? Like I know y 'all as in vampires in general, not used specifically as a Mexican, uh, heritage person. Um, I know, I know y 'all again as vampires, um,
Speaker: live a lot longer, so time is kind of slightly different for you than me, not as a white male, but as a... Frank! You're so awkward! So she's like, no, no time limit. I mean, you know, in a few months or so, we might, you know,
Speaker: I might ask you, have you had any progress or something? But every now and then, just a progress report. Honestly, I don't expect you to lift a curse that's been around for hundreds of years overnight. OK, well, I mean, that's good. I did have one other question. So the prince, not the guy who sang Purple Rain, but the vampire prince.
Speaker: Yes. He had said, we need to find these people. Uh -huh. And I realized that we've got the names, but we really didn't get any descriptions of it. Oh, um, uh, what were their names? I tell her the names that we have because I don't remember what they are. Okay. Let me see here. She, why didn't, why didn't they ever turn Prince?
Speaker: Well, maybe they did. You don't know. Oh, my God. Vampiric Prince, Vampiric Prince, he only gets more beautiful. I've never I've never heard. I don't know this. I don't know Liam or or this Jess Krautless person, but but Olivia, she she's well, she's got pale skin.
Speaker: you know, like us, like most of us vampires, she's got a long black hair. She likes to wear a lot of black. Like she really, she, she goes into the, uh, the whole, the goth thing. Uh, I, I, I know she's always carrying around like her and taking pictures of herself and stuff. Um, I don't really know anything about, I know like the, the,
Speaker: Social media is a big thing nowadays. But obviously, I don't really get on that too much. Plus, even if I could use a phone, we don't work on camera very well. But I know she's always taking videos of herself, like little, seemingly pointless videos. Just saying, I don't really understand. And talking about she's got followers or something. Called TikTok, sweetheart.
Speaker: Can't hear you. I see your mouth moving. Is she on TikTok? I don't know what that is. I pull out my phone and I bring up TikTok. OK. Make the role. Technology plus it's social charisma. Technology plus charisma. And it's difficulty of
Speaker: because you are main severity level one. That means it is, oh, wait, where'd that page go? I just had difficulty two to see if your phone works today. I think you failed. Okay, so you start going to TikTok and then yep, your phone dies.
Speaker: Oh well, I'll try to look up. Do you by chance know what she might go by on social media? Let me do a role for her to see if she would have ever bothered to pay attention to that. But that was a good question, Frank. What would be technology in charisma? I don't know, I'm just throwing something at you. Social media. Yeah, because it's social media.
Speaker: Yeah, I got one in charisma. Social media check. Critical fail. I have one hunger dice. It says five. And then, OK, yeah, I forgot how that worked. Let's see. Will do for memory. This plus this.
Speaker: All right, five successes, a messy critical. Oh, wow. How's that something supernatural happens or her. I don't see how she gets hungrier. That's one of my options. If I can't think of something that would randomly happen. You don't notice that, but she gets hungrier. She she seems to think about it and looks pretty irritated.
Speaker: Maybe she doesn't like this person, maybe she had a bad memory, and she's like, oh, oh, that's right. I think I remember her calling herself Cassandra on social media. No last name, just Cassandra. One word, like Madonna. OK, well, I'll write that down, and I'll see if I can't look her up. That's about it, though. I appreciate everything you've done for me.
Speaker: You know, I'm still not happy you turned me into a vampire, but I understand it was just kind of protocol. Well, well, don't forget you agree to it. Well, well, well, if I remember correctly, I, I don't remember, but I do see the contract. I did see that. So yes. So it is what it is. All right. So bye and walk out the door. Bye.
Speaker: Okay. Uh, I shoot a text to the group of changes, which is what I'm calling us in our head. Um, the description and the name Cassandra and that, that, that is what she might go by on social media. All right. Um, yeah. So you guys get that. I'll go ahead and say he, he can send a text for this.
Speaker: He's not trying to do anything complicated. Sending a text message to someone he already knows doesn't trigger the curse this time. But if he's stressed out... Yeah, so you guys get that. And Hayden, you wake up as your phone is vibrating with that text message. Where are you waking up? I see my wake up in my apartment.
Speaker: specifically inside the bathtub. OK, inside the bathtub. I'm assuming there's no windows in your bathroom. Yeah. That's good. You don't have one of those those weird shower windows. Yeah. We can poke your head out and yell at the kids and back there. Hey. Oh, you could literally do that at the window at the house I grew up in. Grandma's naked inside.
Speaker: I call it I call it the other voyeur gate. God. Well, I know your character has plans for the night. I have a couple of plans. I don't know how you're going to do all that. So what do you do when you wake up? So I wake up, read the chat and go. Changes. Wow.
Speaker: I believe I said changelings, but it came out changelings. OK, I thought you said changies and I was like. That that's what it sounded like, he said. I might have slurred it or something, I don't know, but in my head, I was calling us the changelings. All right, I guess my row succeeds. Get one hunger rear.
Speaker: And so I wake up and I privately message Bill. Or sorry, Jerry, Jerry, I privately message Jerry and be like, Hey, Jerry, there's something I need to talk to you about along amongst other things. Let me know when you can talk. But besides that. Yeah, you don't have to do anything special right now.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, I know what I need to do. I need to completely trash my apartment. Good, good, good, good. Yeah, so I trash my apartment. I just spend the next hour or two just rolling things around break and stuff. So I'm not trying to. So I want to roll because you're trying to make it look like something happened. That's going to be.
Speaker: subterfuge plus what physical what of the top nine stats the traits what do you think would go with that because you're trying to make it I assume you're trying to make it look like something happened right I mean if anything it just looks like I had a mental breakdown yeah yeah subterfuge plus you know whatever stat you want
Speaker: Where is subterfuge? Oh, there it is. This is, you know, if the detective looks at the house and it's like, I think he did, you know, you get a Sherlock Holmes type and he starts doing crazy. I get a one success. You know, it's a. What did you add that to? Charisma. Oh, OK. Yeah, I have no. That's nothing in subterfuge. That's true. Can I do streetwise?
Speaker: No, not story -wise, because you're creating a lie here. How about general athletics just to destroy shit? Yeah. But yeah. But yeah, so that's pretty much what I do for now. That's if the police bother to look at your apartment. I don't know what y 'all's death plan is, so.
Speaker: I mean, if it's, they may not need to look into it. All right? So, and then - Don't worry about it. You'll learn. Yeah. Last of all, Jerry, you wake up with two text messages on your phone. Well, I'm trying to get my character sheet to come up. It's given me a lot of problems. I think I got, honestly, I got to reload real fast. It just crashed on me. Okay.
Speaker: Well, anyway, until that comes back up. So, wake up, go for a nice big stretch. I hop off of whatever I've been sleeping. I'm assuming a gurney of some kind. And I start doing my wake up yoga. And also going through my personal mantra, I am great. I am under control. I am valid and I am beautiful.
Speaker: I rolled for you, you do get hungrier, so you're a hunger too. Not a huge deal. Yeah, that's fine, I can live with two hunger. Okay, so I go through, I check my phone real fast, now that I'm done, now I'm done with my physical and mental warmup for the day. And I'm gonna see Cole's message and be like, she needs it. When you see Cole's message, give me an academics, is your sheet up yet?
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Plus intelligence. All right. Academics. Where is that? That would be under skills. It's on the top right of the skills. Top right. Oh, duh. Right there in front of my fucking face. Want to point out Jerry is smart. Bill is dumb as shit.
Speaker: That's all right. That's all right. One success. OK, yeah, no. Don't know what that's about. Just going to ignore that. Frank, I'm waiting you on record. I found, if you remembered something from the massive, because the notes that I gave you picked and have the same reaction as everyone else. And then I'm going to go, and it's going to be like,
Speaker: All right. So we've got some things we've got to work through. I knew some of these people were messed up. All right. We're keeping these messages secret from us. Well, they already went through what the messages say. I don't see a reason to have to go through all that. OK. So is there anything you're going to do while you're at home? Otherwise, we're going to hop to the board meeting,
Speaker: Gotta get that done. I am going to send a series of text messages to the managers of the food store and the gym. And I'm going to go through my notes for any of my patients that might have come during the day today for the place. I'm going through small business owner type shit.
Speaker: Back to Wesley. So Wesley, you are heading into the office to see what the heck is going on at your company. When you arrive, most of the board is already there. They're sitting around one of those big tables, or yeah, I guess the table's not desk, one of those big tables, a bunch of people in suits,
Speaker: You know, obviously you know them all because they're members of the board of your company. And when you walk in, you do see that the guy, Jeremiah Don Keuke, who is the guy who's buying up Bunch Air Company, he's already there. When you walk in, everyone stands up.
Speaker: Like, you know, like you would for a judge. And I say this because that's what they do on TV when the CEO walks in. Interesting. Everyone stands up and like, oh, good to see you sir. You know, people are trying to shake your hands and kiss your ass and stuff like that. But what do you say when you walk in? Hello, hello everybody. Settle down, settle down. I know, I know. Have a pretty face. All right. Anyways.
Speaker: My guy doesn't even get out of his chair. What? I gathered you all here today for a couple of things. First of all, sales. Great right now. Good job sales team. Thank you, sir. Second of all, I have a proposal for the future of this business.
Speaker: One of the board members, he's like, sir, don't you think that we should address the elephant in the room? And he kind of gives this Jeremiah dude the side eye. Wait, what's happening again? I completely forgot. Dude bought up 30 % of your company. That's right. That's right. That's right. OK. And he's actually the one who called the board meeting. My guy is going to chime in real fast.
Speaker: Yeah, man, like him buying out all these shares, making people really freak out. It's really harsh in my vibe over here, guys. All right, guys, I know there's a new face here. This is Jeremiah. Not the Jerry that you know and love, but this guy, he was a business friend of mine.
Speaker: and wanted to acquire some of the company. So I allowed him to, and that is what it is. He stands up and he's like, if you would kind of remember his voice, it's slightly different than my usual voice. Thank you, Wesley. If you would allow me, I can explain myself. Yes. And he, you know. Why are we hearing from the new guy first?
Speaker: Yo man, calm down. We all just need to join hands in a circle and just accept that sometimes new people come into these things, man. Uh, suddenly all the mortals in the room, actually Wesley too, but this would likely recognize this for what it is. All the mortals in the room, um, are paying like
Speaker: Basically he activated the all ability. So you are all paying like this dude suddenly is now the center of your attention. You are in awe of him. Um, as he begins to speak, uh, hello and thank you all for coming. I know I've caused a bit of an upset and I bet you're all wondering who is this man? Well, as Wesley already said, my name is Jeremiah Don Q. You can simply call me Mr. Don Q.
Speaker: I represent a firm of several corporations in a variety of fields who have taken an interest in Isaac genetics. I have many contacts in the local state and federal government. And in fact, I've already used those contacts to greenlight several of the projects we've had pending for government approval. And he passes out some documents to everyone with
Speaker: Like, I don't know, like 10 random projects that, you know, various, various, uh, levels of importance in the company that were just for whatever reason been, uh, in the like pending approval stage, like it's like the government hasn't said no to them, but they haven't said yes yet. And he's pushed all of those, all of those through y 'all can start working on them right away. Um, these are, you know, like various, you know, it's a pharmaceutical and genetics company, so I don't know.
Speaker: probably had to get environmental approvals and all sorts of things like that for the different things that you do. And so these 10 projects, all of them are green lit. As you can see, I can bring a lot to the table. And my firm is specifically interested in this company, specifically
Speaker: to we would like to put our money where towards the funding towards more synthetic blood research and also genealogical research. We felt that Isaac Genetics was the perfect company to spearhead this program that we need. And that is why
Speaker: I've purchased such a large sum of the company because much of this is going to be tied up in our money. But rest assured, I'm not here to wrest total control from good Mr. Isaac here. I am simply assisting Isaac Genetics in moving forward in the future.
Speaker: And then he, he sits, he yields the floor to, to Wesley now. And of course, Wesley, you've not heard of any of this, you know, the last time you spoke to this man, he asked to buy 10 % of the company for, you know, what you assumed was just so he can have, you know, some estimate stake in the company. Well, I have to go along with it because I'm around everybody.
Speaker: So I say like thank you, but yeah, I just had one more thing Before y 'all all go home tonight I Have oh and he turns off his all Okay, so they're looking back at me a proposal for a
Speaker: fat -reducing pill. And I know that there's been those in the past and they haven't been real, but I think with the technology of today and some help from my very knowledgeable friends, I think we can figure out or devise a pill that can revolutionize what it means to be human. How is a fat burning pill going to do that?
Speaker: Because it's gonna make you realize how you truly look. I am fit, I do not need this. Okay, well - Yo man, if you're fit, then it's not a product for you and you just need to shut the hell up, bro.
Speaker: Exactly. I think one thing that we're all forgetting that everyone is perfect to the way they are. All right. As the head of diversity, I'm pretty sure everyone is beautiful in their own way. So this sounds pretty fat phobic to me. Look, it is open to anybody. It doesn't matter if.
Speaker: it's not for you, it's just whoever wants it can have it. It's just another product on the line that we can use towards furthering research in other places. I can respect that because to be honest, no matter how body positive the world gets, fat burning products always sell. Always, they always sell.
Speaker: Exactly. And then we can get some people healthy in the meantime, you know, might even increase the lifespan, you know, just of the general public just from being more healthy. You know what I'm saying? So, um, a, uh, another guy at the board, uh, he's like, uh,
Speaker: Daniel here, Chief Legal Officer, just to make sure that he'll actually work because if we say that you're going to lose weight and then you don't, that's opening the company up to a lot of lawsuits.
Speaker: Yes, but I think we can devise something that might be able to work. I have a pretty extensive history in inventing genetic or furthering the genetic frontier. So I think I could devise something well and over at least a month, if not less, to start dishing out to the public.
Speaker: God damn, that is some cutting edge technology right there. Damn. Yeah. Can I say?
Speaker: Well, as the chief visionary officer, I only want to make sure that we're really putting out a positive message to our general customers, but also got to make sure that the investors are well taken care of. We're using their money on some pretty fun stuff. And sometimes, sometimes that money is unfortunately isn't able to be returned. So we got to make sure we're returning back to the investors, you know?
Speaker: Exactly, and that's why I devised a three -point plan. If you look here on the board, we're going to make product, sell product, get money. So the third statement here, get money, is where we get money and then we can give them money, okay? So it's easy, you see? Make product, sell. I really wish Alex was in this group right now.
Speaker: Could you imagine the owner of our company listening to this and be like, what the hell? He would hire me immediately. He'd fire all of us immediately. No, I take it back. He'd give us all the stocks in the company and we'd all, we'd all, uh, we'd all become members of a board. There'd be a board. Daniel would have to answer, answer to us in particular, you Hayden.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Daniel just didn't look at me like I would beat you up after this and be like, well, I'm sorry. But do I need to roll persuasion? Yeah. Or is everyone on board? I would I would like to say that we we don't marketing it solely as a weight loss bill will
Speaker: give it the negative connotation to that effect. What I believe would be a better option would be to have
Speaker: not only as weight loss, but also as a multivitamin or a - I was thinking the same thing whenever we brought this up. You know, actually a really common issue with weight loss supplements and all that stuff is that they can cause some pretty bad indigestion. What if we made an indigestion pill that had a side effect of weight loss?
Speaker: No. Emodium just helps you stop. Emodium just helps you stop pooping. It doesn't help with heartburn, man. Well, then we could add some. But what if we marketed it as something for as a product for acid reflux or something else and a side effect could be weight loss? That way, you know, if there's weight loss, hey, that's great. But if there's not. Did it help with your heartburn?
Speaker: There you go. Interesting. So I'm going to role play another guy real quick, the chief medical officer. I'm like, you know, this all sounds really great and handy, but.
Speaker: I think, back in the good old days, there used to be this little known supplement called cocaine that helped people lose a lot of weight. So, you know, maybe we just bring back the good old times, maybe tone it down with some Adderall or something. Hey, I like her thinking. Let's talk later. I think we need to find the chief medical officer.
Speaker: All of a sudden this this mousy dude with like these big nerdy Harry Potter glasses chimes in. Yes, as the chief legal officer, I will let you know this right now that the Food and Drug Administration would be down our throats. Excuse me, I am the chief medical officer or chief legal officer. And then we just start looking at the two it's like, where'd you come from mousy boy? What is going on?
Speaker: I didn't I don't I don't understand what is going on. Is this some kind of practical joke? I've done legal for several of our malpractice suits on the on some of our failed medications. If you remember, if you remember the ill -fated make them fly pill. Why do you sound like Ben sure or the. Well, and do you remember the side effect of that one? I can pull that out. Quote unquote. People started shoving things up their butts.
Speaker: Hey, I remember that lawsuit. That one was a weird one by What's His Bucket? Carl Bird or something like that. Yeah, I remember. I remember that one. That was a wild one. I don't know how he got my phone number, but I heard from him for like three days. Yeah. And if you remember correctly, he went to prison. He had a massive he had a massive mental break and he went to prison. All of you want to be in prison? No, then we do not.
Speaker: Okay, so so I look at the first legal see it the first legal officer and I go Yeah, so I don't know if we could justify him for taking the pill for shoving things up his butt or prison I would have to go with prison because weird things happen in prison so But however as far as this pill goes We don't have to release it
Speaker: So we can just do all the testing we want and then find out how we want to market it. Look, give me a week. I'll devise it and then I will bring you what it'll actually be. And then you could tell me what you all think then. But what are we going to be doing with the the synthetic blood? I look back over to the the other guy. He says, well. He says
Speaker: My firm is interested in helping those with blood disorders. And unfortunately, in certain parts of the world, there's a severe shortage in willing donors. So our company, and yes, well, that's the thing. There are willing donors, but they,
Speaker: don't necessarily have suitable blood for transfusions or any such purposes. And therefore, if we can synthesize a blood that will work with, ideally, a universal type, but even possibly individual blood types,
Speaker: that we can simply use those instead that will be accepted by the human body. It can potentially save millions of lives. On a real note, everybody listening, don't forget to donate at your local blood donation center. Thank you. It's not that bad. From people like you, PBS. Giving blood hurts less than taking a shot.
Speaker: This is true. The first chief legal officer is like, well, speaking of what we were talking about earlier. More than 4 .5 million patients need blood transfusions each year in the US and Canada alone. That's a lot of blood. Thank you, Chief Information Officer. A little delayed.
Speaker: 40 ,000 pints is the amount donated blood used each day in the US and Canada. Someone needs blood every two seconds. The human body can stuff that. You're about to need blood if I don't punch your nose out right now. The human body, the human stomach can hold roughly a pint of blood before vomiting. Good to know. Please don't ask me how I know things. One pint of blood can save up to three lives. See who?
Speaker: So on fire this man get him out of here. The chief security guy stands up with three false men and we just drag him out. I have turrets come from this ceiling that have like laser pointers onto his head. As you're dragging him up to the up. As you're dragging him out. I'm going to chloroform you.
Speaker: As you're dragging him out, the chief visibility officer makes sure to hide him from view. And the chief reputation officer says, don't worry, no one will hear of this. Good. As you were saying. Oh, sorry.
Speaker: Oh, the other chief legal officer. Yes, I mean, I was just saying, like, are we wrapping it up? Because it's that time of the meeting and he pulls out a bag of, you know, he's like, I mean, we were talking about it earlier, pulls out that bag of white powder.
Speaker: Oh, Jesus. Hey, I like this guy. Let's go. Legal officer, please leave the room. Everyone else. Let's take a five and meet back here and we will see what the party goes. The chief visionary. The chief visionary officer raises his head out of the bag. Do you mind if we make it a 10? I've got a. Oh, I got I got to go to the bathroom real fast.
Speaker: Why did that grunt sound like something else, Bill? The chief experience officer, he takes the bag of powder and starts putting lines all over the table for everybody. Wow. This is the greatest meeting ever. This is what happened. This is what every meeting's like. This is just like a normal Thursday night. After all the edits, there's going to be 15 minutes of usable content here.
Speaker: what these are all consenting millionaires who get everyone knows that this is what they do this is yeah this is all true stories yeah these are all millionaires we should be happy that we they didn't bring that they didn't bring in like some like third someone from the third world countries like it eat his brains I've seen madmen okay next thing you know that they're gonna be us all sleeping with each other Oh
Speaker: I need a refill. I need a refill of my Scotch, bro. I guess, you know, while the the meeting comes to an end, Jeremiah Don Q, you know, he's like, well, you know, he thinks to himself, well, that this was easy. And and, you know, kind of gets up and and, you know, he's going to leave. Nobody really opposed him. So he's good.
Speaker: Now, yeah, that you're but you're you're bought it. It's like tracks easily. Oh, yeah. Your directors know nothing about how to run a business. So here we are. For real. This is why we're actually here. Just like in real life. Just for the drugs. I guess. So, yeah. So the meeting's going to come to a close. Wesley, is there anything else you wanted to do with this meeting?
Speaker: I don't think so. I think it went over well. I mean, I can just get to work on devising. Your weight loss indigestion pill. Yeah. That's certainly all that's going to be in it. Exactly. I'm going to actually put exactly what I'm saying inside of it. Of course. Of course. FDA approved. You wouldn't lie. I mean, why would a pharmaceutical company ever lie?
Speaker: No side effects. First on the market. The only other thing that Max would want to do tonight will do things, one, making sure that his sire isn't about to die and two, investigating the college vampires. So you're not going to do the other. You're not doing the other plan tonight. What's the other plan?
Speaker: You know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That one. That one. Yeah. And to be fair, you realize the College Vampire Club. That's just a bunch of kids in robes that have watched Twilight a few too many times. Yeah. But I'd rather have Isaac feed off of college age kids in his goddamn family. So if he has to change someone in a basement, I'd rather have it be the college kids.
Speaker: OK, that part will be need to be edited out. But I don't think I don't think it's his predator type that he wants to feed on his family. He wants to feed on. So he's the cleaver type. And basically they. In the case of him being a fresh vampire, he's just stuck with his own family, but they assimilate themselves into a family and live with them and feed upon them. And, you know, exactly.
Speaker: whatever methods they use to keep them from, you know, keep it from being a mask. Well, the, one of the negatives of the cleaver type is it is often a serious masquerade breach, um, that they are not, you know, so they, they don't necessarily advertise that they, they are doing this because if the family is not, uh,
Speaker: Basically, if the family isn't a ghoul, if the whole family is not ghouls, then it's considered a masquerade breach. Okay. And he does have some form of mind control on the family, but it wasn't a mind control that he did, so he doesn't know what the extent of that mind control is. Yeah, I'm playing with fire right now.
Speaker: But that being said, you also are a new vampire, so you don't really know any better. True. But I think I handled that well and then. When all the rails hungry anywhere, I mean, anymore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you almost you could have just murdered your your your wife with a frenzy, but you managed to not do that.
Speaker: Honestly, his entire board of directors, to be honest. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why I had to eat before then, because if they denied me, then I would have just killed them all. Yeah. Yeah. So board meeting's over.
Speaker: Hey everyone, so the board meeting's over and we decided to go ahead and cut this episode in half. The session goes on for about another hour with completely unrelated shenanigans, so I decided to split the episode in half. So, that's it for tonight. I was your storyteller, Ron Bjork. You can find me on Twitter, at verlion1. And we also had with me tonight Bill, Frank, Hayden, and Jaden. Couldn't tell you their contact info off the top of my head, but
Speaker: You can probably find them on the internet somewhere and well, we will see you next time. Bye. Bye Hey everyone, it's me Ron from the future. Ooh Although I guess whenever you're listening to this I'll be from the past But what even more from the past Ron didn't know is now we have contact info You can email us at idmroleplay at gmail .com
Speaker: and tell us all about how much you love us, or hate us, or send us fan art, or whatever you want to do with that. And maybe we'll even read it on the show. You can also find us on Twitter at idmrollplay. And that's all. That's everywhere you can find us. So, bye.
Speaker: Thanks everyone for listening. The intro and outro songs you heard today was Fox Soul Revolution and Got Them Licious, both created by Kevin MacLeod at incompetent .com, licensed under Creative Commons by attribution 4 .0 license, creativecommons .com, licenses by 4 .0.
Speaker: The night is over, and have a great day everyone.
