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BFFFF Link Up 🔗 (Featuring Alexis)
10 Plays1 year ago
Happy Birthday to my main slice!!! Listen to me interview my best freaking fantastic friend forever of 18 years!
Twitter: @GatherThemPod
IG: @GatherThemPod
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Email: Gatherthempod@gmail.com
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Transcript
Celebrating Friendship: A Special Shoutout
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, everyone.
00:00:01
Speaker
Before we start, I wanted to give a shout out to my best friend and guest on this week's episode of the podcast, Alexis.
00:00:11
Speaker
It is her birthday on Sunday, the 12th, and I...
00:00:17
Speaker
Just wanted to say, you know, happy birthday.
00:00:20
Speaker
And I'm so glad that we've been friends for 18 years.
00:00:25
Speaker
That's amazing to think about.
00:00:27
Speaker
But again, happy birthday.
00:00:30
Speaker
And I cannot wait to continue having many, many more experiences together.
00:00:37
Speaker
But yes, let's start the show.
Introducing Alexis: Background and Career Path
00:01:09
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Gather Them Podcast.
00:01:13
Speaker
I'm your host Jerome, and we are back with a special guest.
00:01:18
Speaker
I've been waiting for this guest in particular for a while, and I am so glad that we were able to finally get in the booth together.
00:01:33
Speaker
We are here.
00:01:35
Speaker
Everyone, welcome Alexis.
00:01:38
Speaker
Woo!
00:01:43
Speaker
Thank you.
00:01:43
Speaker
I am very nervous.
00:01:45
Speaker
Thank you.
00:01:46
Speaker
I'm excited to be here.
00:01:47
Speaker
Don't be nervous.
00:01:48
Speaker
I'm excited to be a guest.
00:01:50
Speaker
Thanks.
00:01:51
Speaker
Don't be nervous.
00:01:52
Speaker
We got this.
00:01:55
Speaker
I am new to this podcast recording thing in terms of virtual recording on my podcast.
00:02:05
Speaker
Um, but I'm hoping that this program we're using is going to be, I mean, it seems like I tested it out.
00:02:10
Speaker
It seems like it's great.
00:02:10
Speaker
So we will be a, okay.
00:02:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:16
Speaker
This is like a one-on-one zoom call.
00:02:18
Speaker
So basically, um, so I guess to start, I mean, listen, I could honestly, I don't know, like, um,
00:02:32
Speaker
shoot your bird, like not shoot your praises, but like sing your praises.
00:02:36
Speaker
There we go.
00:02:40
Speaker
Not shoot you down.
00:02:41
Speaker
I guess sing your praises, but, um, I want you to tell the audience a little bit about yourself.
00:02:49
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:50
Speaker
Um, my name is Alexis born and raised in Philadelphia.
00:02:54
Speaker
Um, Northeast in particular, most people hate the Northeast.
00:02:57
Speaker
I do too, but that's where I'm from.
00:02:59
Speaker
Uh,
00:03:00
Speaker
to Bodine High School is where I met Jerome, best friends, very emo, very shy.
00:03:08
Speaker
I left Bodine with the temple to study journalism and political science.
00:03:12
Speaker
And then I didn't really want to be a real journalist.
00:03:16
Speaker
I just wanted to write stories about communities and people and uplift them.
00:03:21
Speaker
And most of my jobs were around helping people, serving people.
00:03:25
Speaker
And if I wasn't doing direct service, the organizations I worked with, the mission was around direct service and serving others.
00:03:33
Speaker
And now I work in city government, sort of doing the same thing.
00:03:38
Speaker
And yeah, that's me in a nutshell.
00:03:40
Speaker
Shy person who loves helping people.
00:03:43
Speaker
Listen, I feel that because I mean, similar, but I mean, that's, I think how we really became friends, you know, being very shy and just kind of in the same, in the same boat, honestly.
00:03:58
Speaker
I know you said you didn't really want to do, when did you realize you didn't want to do like traditional journalism?
00:04:05
Speaker
I think it was my senior year.
00:04:06
Speaker
I had a couple of internships and one of them was at the Fox school of business.
00:04:10
Speaker
And I was writing a lot of stories about heavy level scientific research.
00:04:15
Speaker
And although that's not like, you know, typical journalism, I just felt like in the classes I had, it was like you're, when you get a job, depending on the kind of reporter you are, maybe you get to pick and select different stories to share.
00:04:28
Speaker
But I,
00:04:30
Speaker
I don't know how to say it.
00:04:31
Speaker
It just felt as though you had to spend a narrative that like your editor wanted you to spend versus like what I wanted to like uplift and, um, shed some light on.
00:04:41
Speaker
And I originally wanted to be an investigative journalist, um, really go undercover, investigate the scene.
00:04:47
Speaker
So who's who, who's doing what,
00:04:49
Speaker
And I don't I just like sort of fell out of it.
00:04:51
Speaker
I really just wanted to help people directly.
00:04:54
Speaker
So it was like if I could work at an organization doing like communications and like uplifting their stories that way and sharing their stories with the organization to get more funding to help people.
00:05:05
Speaker
That was sort of the route I wanted to take.
00:05:06
Speaker
I feel like I do use some journalism in my job now.
00:05:09
Speaker
Like I have a little newsletter that I send out, you know,
00:05:14
Speaker
writing letters to support on behalf of my boss sometimes.
00:05:18
Speaker
So I kind of still get to tweak those skills a little bit.
00:05:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:24
Speaker
And I know you said investigative journalism, which is hilarious because I actually also wanted to do forensic psychology and do more of that like courtroom.
Community Policing and Trust Issues
00:05:36
Speaker
I guess it's like more so like the courtroom expert witness type of work.
00:05:44
Speaker
And so, yeah, yeah.
00:05:48
Speaker
I also wanted to study, what is it?
00:05:49
Speaker
Not criminal justice.
00:05:51
Speaker
Cause I wanted to be, now hear me out, hear me out.
00:05:54
Speaker
I wanted to be like a detective, but I don't want to go through like the ranks of like low level cop.
00:06:00
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:06:01
Speaker
Whatever else.
00:06:01
Speaker
I just wanted to be a detective.
00:06:03
Speaker
No, listen, I'm literally the same way because honestly, I thought about it before and I was like, I want to be a detective.
00:06:09
Speaker
But then when I found out a lot of detectives start out as cops, I'm like, I can't do that.
00:06:15
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely not.
00:06:16
Speaker
Absolutely not.
00:06:17
Speaker
And the funny thing is, you know me, socialist, you know, a little defund.
00:06:24
Speaker
But now my job now, I talk to the cops like all the time, like have my personal cell phone number.
00:06:30
Speaker
So it's very strange.
00:06:31
Speaker
It's a joke that I am a cop, that I'm a cop at the office.
00:06:34
Speaker
But, you know, so I never want to have that job.
00:06:38
Speaker
No, I 100% feel that.
00:06:41
Speaker
I also feel like, too, it's, like, interesting.
00:06:43
Speaker
I mean, in Philadelphia, like, how we are, I mean, it's not the same as, like, NYPD, but it can get there, you know?
00:06:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
It's weird.
00:07:01
Speaker
I don't want to, I guess I can't tell too much, but there is someone in that area who's trying to make community policing.
00:07:11
Speaker
I don't know.
00:07:11
Speaker
I'm not getting the words right.
00:07:13
Speaker
But once his officers and officers across the city to
00:07:17
Speaker
you know, be as if they're of the community in the community.
00:07:20
Speaker
So that way, when civilians see them, it's not like, oh, they're mean to me.
00:07:25
Speaker
They're going to harass me and harm me.
00:07:27
Speaker
Like they know their names on a first name basis.
00:07:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:30
Speaker
He did like a little presentation yesterday and like he was talking about the move bombing and George Floyd.
00:07:36
Speaker
It's like, you guys can't like, you know,
00:07:40
Speaker
wonder why people don't trust the police.
00:07:42
Speaker
Like, look at the proximity to, like, all these other atrocities that individuals have suffered at our hands.
00:07:47
Speaker
So, like, you got to kind of have to know that.
00:07:49
Speaker
And I was like, oh, okay.
00:07:51
Speaker
So...
00:07:52
Speaker
I don't know.
00:07:52
Speaker
We'll see.
00:07:53
Speaker
We'll see if the city takes on to what he wants to do.
00:07:55
Speaker
But also like the officers themselves have to have that in their hearts of like looking at people as people.
00:08:00
Speaker
I feel like I don't know why cops get into the job.
00:08:03
Speaker
Some of them want to protect and serve because, you know, they love their communities.
00:08:06
Speaker
Some want to criminalize others.
00:08:08
Speaker
Some want to be a good...
00:08:11
Speaker
role model to other people of color, but I don't know.
00:08:14
Speaker
We'll see.
00:08:15
Speaker
But yeah, I've, I've heard some stories of police being awful.
00:08:19
Speaker
And I've seen, of course.
00:08:20
Speaker
And you're right.
00:08:21
Speaker
I actually had a, well, not an incident, but like I just witnessed a month ago, at least I was walking home from work and I saw two police officers talking to a homeless man who was underneath of the bridge.
00:08:38
Speaker
Um, um,
00:08:39
Speaker
like on like around 34th street or no 38th, like around like UPenn.
00:08:46
Speaker
And he like camped out, like he has a rocking chair.
00:08:49
Speaker
He's got a like little, like it's kind of interesting because it is an interesting location because it's a college campus, but like, he's like pretty, you know, he's got like, he lays down like a sleeping bag.
00:09:03
Speaker
He's got a chair.
00:09:04
Speaker
He's got his stuff just kind of around.
00:09:06
Speaker
It's like, uh,
00:09:08
Speaker
very, I don't know, like he's not bothering anybody.
00:09:12
Speaker
And so I just kind of look at like seeing what these police officers were doing and they were just checking on him to see if he was okay.
00:09:20
Speaker
But no one's like, got like told him like, you have to get up and move or anything like that.
00:09:24
Speaker
He's right.
00:09:25
Speaker
So, I mean, he's still there like to this day, like, and I'm just like, okay, all right.
00:09:30
Speaker
Well, again, not bothering nobody.
00:09:33
Speaker
So hopefully y'all don't just snatched his man up.
00:09:37
Speaker
Like crazy.
00:09:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:40
Speaker
It was scary though.
00:09:41
Speaker
Like thinking of, and I can't, again, because of my job, I can't say too much about how I really feel, but just thinking about what's happening at Kensington right now.
00:09:52
Speaker
Like, I know the mayor has a plan, but it just really feels like we're criminalizing people who just need help and services while at the same time taking away the services to help people.
00:10:02
Speaker
So if that's happened in Kensington and then where people want to go and they go to other communities, like, what do we do to help people?
00:10:10
Speaker
Like, we can't just put people in jail because they're on the street.
00:10:12
Speaker
Right.
00:10:13
Speaker
That doesn't make sense to me.
00:10:14
Speaker
That doesn't make sense.
00:10:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:16
Speaker
And I get that.
00:10:16
Speaker
And, you know, of course, feel like as comfortable talking about how much you feel comfortable talking about when it comes to work, because again, we all, we need jobs, you know, and I talk about my jobs and things like that on here, but I do so in a way in which I,
00:10:34
Speaker
No, for me personally, I just don't.
00:10:36
Speaker
Like, if I know I'm not going to go back to a place, I'm just going to tell.
00:10:39
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean?
00:10:40
Speaker
Like, I'm not going to.
00:10:41
Speaker
Like, if it's a thing of where I'm in the job, I'm not going to just tell everything.
00:10:45
Speaker
But, like, if I know I'm not going to go back to a job, I'm like, I'm just going to tell y'all what the shit is.
00:10:50
Speaker
And this is what it was.
00:10:52
Speaker
But we all, you know, we need our jobs now.
00:10:54
Speaker
So, you know, feel as comfortable talking about, like, what you feel comfortable talking about.
00:11:01
Speaker
Or if I, like, ask a question that's like,
00:11:03
Speaker
You don't want to answer that.
00:11:04
Speaker
Just say it.
00:11:05
Speaker
Like, honestly, it's not.
00:11:06
Speaker
Say no comment.
00:11:08
Speaker
No comment.
00:11:08
Speaker
I plead the fifth.
00:11:09
Speaker
You plead the fifth.
00:11:10
Speaker
Yes.
Growing Up in Northeast Philadelphia
00:11:12
Speaker
So you also mentioned that you grew up in the Northeast, like, and that you, I mean, you said a lot of people hate it.
00:11:18
Speaker
I mean, I'm one of those people.
00:11:21
Speaker
But you said you also didn't really care for it either.
00:11:25
Speaker
So what was the thing that you feel like you...
00:11:28
Speaker
What were your top three things, if you can think of three, that you did not like about living in the Northeast?
00:11:38
Speaker
So my family.
00:11:39
Speaker
OK, so my family first moved there.
00:11:41
Speaker
Well, well, let me start here.
00:11:43
Speaker
I was born in like the far northeast area.
00:11:46
Speaker
And it was just me.
00:11:47
Speaker
My sister was born.
00:11:48
Speaker
We moved a little lower northeast.
00:11:51
Speaker
Then we moved in with certain family across the city.
00:11:54
Speaker
And then by the time I was like 12, we moved back to the northeast.
00:11:59
Speaker
And when I was a little older, we moved back to the northeast.
00:12:01
Speaker
I remember we had these neighbors who I think both right now rest in peace.
00:12:04
Speaker
But neighbors on one side, neighbors on the other side.
00:12:07
Speaker
But the whole block was essentially white.
00:12:09
Speaker
We're the only black family on the block.
00:12:11
Speaker
And they were looking out their windows, looking at us, wondering what we were doing.
00:12:15
Speaker
So that's one thing I did not like.
00:12:16
Speaker
It's just like feeling that level of racism.
00:12:19
Speaker
We're just trying to establish a new home.
00:12:21
Speaker
The other thing, there's just like nothing to do.
00:12:23
Speaker
There's nothing to do.
00:12:24
Speaker
I remember my third time, my sister and I would just like walk around.
00:12:28
Speaker
It's not like right now, you know, I live in West Philly.
00:12:30
Speaker
I can walk around.
00:12:31
Speaker
There's a coffee shop.
00:12:32
Speaker
There's a this here.
00:12:33
Speaker
There's this nicer park where there's dogs playing and activities happening.
00:12:37
Speaker
There's just nothing to do.
00:12:39
Speaker
So that's what I didn't like.
00:12:40
Speaker
And then the last thing was, I guess the third thing is that most of my friends didn't live in the Northeast.
00:12:46
Speaker
And I feel like as I got older in high school, some folks moved out to the Northeast, but we're still sort of scattered.
00:12:52
Speaker
I feel like all my friends lived in West or Southwest or South Philly, which was far.
00:12:57
Speaker
And so having people come over my house, I had to be like a gathering.
00:13:01
Speaker
It wasn't just like a, I will come out.
00:13:03
Speaker
I'm going to hang out.
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:05
Speaker
So yeah.
00:13:06
Speaker
Did not like that.
00:13:07
Speaker
But I love that it's very spacious and green.
00:13:10
Speaker
At least where my dad still lives.
00:13:12
Speaker
Very spacious, very green.
00:13:14
Speaker
So that's nice.
00:13:15
Speaker
Very quiet.
00:13:17
Speaker
But those other factors, no.
00:13:19
Speaker
No, and you're right.
00:13:20
Speaker
I do like where your dad lives.
00:13:23
Speaker
That is a really nice area.
00:13:26
Speaker
It's very quiet.
00:13:27
Speaker
It feels suburban.
00:13:30
Speaker
And it's still the city.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:33
Speaker
And then the part about
00:13:36
Speaker
whenever we would go to your house, it had to literally be like a gathering.
00:13:39
Speaker
Cause I was taking, usually taking a bus or like Septa to get back home.
00:13:45
Speaker
And I was like, before Septa got real crazy, like before you felt like anything could just happen because I was so crazy.
00:13:55
Speaker
That is so crazy because I remember leaving your house sometimes at like nine at night and like,
00:14:02
Speaker
your parents like dropping me off at the train station and then getting one of the, what is that the L and then it not being literally what it is now.
00:14:14
Speaker
Like it's so different.
00:14:16
Speaker
Yes.
00:14:17
Speaker
That is like, yeah, there were like certain people you had to be careful of like at the actual like station on the outside, but like being on the train, like once you're on the tracks, you felt safe.
00:14:26
Speaker
Yes.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:27
Speaker
And then once you're on the train, it's like actually on the train, you felt like, okay, I'm good.
00:14:31
Speaker
No one's going to get me.
00:14:32
Speaker
But now I could not imagine.
00:14:35
Speaker
I can send my, if I had a kid, sorry, you're not taking except the bed late at night.
00:14:41
Speaker
And we used to be up and down L. Like that was the crazy part about it.
00:14:45
Speaker
Like we literally would be going like to South street, Chinatown, the gallery when the gallery was the gallery.
00:14:57
Speaker
Liberty's Place.
00:14:59
Speaker
We went there a lot.
00:15:02
Speaker
And yeah, we were just like up and down like the well, mainly the L just getting to places and walking around and going to stuff.
00:15:11
Speaker
And it is just not the same at all.
00:15:16
Speaker
No, no, not at all.
00:15:18
Speaker
And it's it's sad because.
00:15:21
Speaker
I know SEPTA right now they're hiring or they have hired like different people who serve as like social workers to help with the people on the trains, which is nice.
00:15:31
Speaker
But it's just I don't know.
00:15:33
Speaker
It's a sad reality where like the only option people have is to like sleep on the tracks because like they can pay their fare and ride up and down.
00:15:41
Speaker
you know, for the day.
00:15:43
Speaker
And I don't know.
00:15:46
Speaker
I really don't know.
00:15:48
Speaker
Yeah.
Public Transportation: Changes and Comparisons
00:15:50
Speaker
I listen, I feel that.
00:15:51
Speaker
And I don't know.
00:15:52
Speaker
I mean, I know we, we know what needs to happen.
00:15:54
Speaker
Like, honestly, we, we kind of know what needs to happen.
00:15:57
Speaker
And, um, you know, of course there's things that are going on that are, uh, controversial and we won't, you know, talk too much about that, but like, um,
00:16:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's just interesting just seeing the way in which the city is so different.
00:16:15
Speaker
Like, even just, I don't know, when I think back like 10 years ago, like, it's just, it feels different now than it did in 2014.
00:16:23
Speaker
And that was before the Pope came.
00:16:26
Speaker
And I feel like, I mean, this is just me.
00:16:31
Speaker
I feel like when the Pope came, things started drifting a little bit for Philly in a way in which...
00:16:39
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it was just as like draw to get more people in that were like they're pricing people out.
00:16:46
Speaker
Like that's what it started to feel like.
00:16:48
Speaker
Things started to gentrify a lot more.
00:16:51
Speaker
A lot more high rises were going up.
00:16:54
Speaker
I don't know.
00:16:54
Speaker
I feel like a lot of people were starting to come from New York to live here.
00:16:59
Speaker
New York is like super expensive.
00:17:02
Speaker
And it's like Philadelphia just doesn't feel like
00:17:06
Speaker
that kind of city like we're like we still had I think we still had tokens like 10 years ago we did I think we honestly still had tokens like that's that's literally what it was so wild yes like that's literally what Philly is like yes yeah it's like it's sort of like putting on this mask like oh we're this like really great world-class city but we're still behind in so many ways and it's also weird like SEPTA
00:17:33
Speaker
SEPTA won so many awards.
00:17:35
Speaker
It's like best transit system, best whatever.
00:17:40
Speaker
You know, I'm a SEPTA child.
00:17:42
Speaker
You know, dad worked for SEPTA.
00:17:43
Speaker
So I'm kind of a little biased sometimes.
00:17:45
Speaker
But I was like, what are the other cities doing?
00:17:48
Speaker
I thought other cities had it better than us.
00:17:49
Speaker
Like, how are we, like, getting awarded as, like, most reliable transportation?
00:17:55
Speaker
I don't know.
00:17:56
Speaker
I will say that up until recently, I will say for the most part, SEPTA has been reliable.
00:18:06
Speaker
I mean, there's times where I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
00:18:08
Speaker
I have no clue where the bus is.
00:18:11
Speaker
But...
00:18:13
Speaker
I will say recently it feels a little bit more and it's B and I think it's mainly because of like the construction and stuff and like these new, like fixing up the roads and like the pipes and things like that, like all of that stuff.
00:18:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:29
Speaker
But I feel like the buses generally do try to come on time for the most part.
00:18:37
Speaker
And, and I think they're, they've increased like the frequency of like certain routes and things like that.
00:18:42
Speaker
So,
00:18:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:44
Speaker
That's good.
00:18:45
Speaker
I remember living in Boston.
00:18:47
Speaker
I lived in Boston for a couple months and waiting for like the bus.
00:18:53
Speaker
You'd just be standing there like, when is this thing coming?
00:18:56
Speaker
I'm so confused.
00:18:58
Speaker
And then like,
00:18:59
Speaker
I don't know, when the SEPTA, when the L or Brasheet line are crowded, not really crowded.
00:19:06
Speaker
Boston crowded feels like what I see pictures of, like New York, Japan.
00:19:10
Speaker
You're just packed in sardines.
00:19:12
Speaker
And I got back home to Philly and rode the L. People were like, it's so packed in here.
00:19:17
Speaker
I was like, I can stretch my arms out and not touch anybody.
00:19:21
Speaker
It is not packed.
00:19:22
Speaker
It is not packed at all.
00:19:23
Speaker
It is not the same.
00:19:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:28
Speaker
you know, I, when I was in New York for a little bit for traveling, for travel, social work, it was, I wasn't in the city that much.
00:19:39
Speaker
And I guess while I look back on that and I'm like, I should have took more of an advantage of that.
00:19:44
Speaker
But because I was out in white planes mostly, but whenever I was in the city and got on the train, it's just like,
00:19:54
Speaker
you're going to be basically humping the person next to you.
00:19:58
Speaker
Like your legs are going to be intertwined and you're going to, it's like, you have to be comfortable with like having strangers touch you.
00:20:07
Speaker
And it's not like that in Philly all the time.
00:20:09
Speaker
Like it might be like that for a sports game, but not, you know.
00:20:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:13
Speaker
For a sports game, we'll come together.
00:20:15
Speaker
Like, yeah, let's be close.
00:20:16
Speaker
And the other time, don't touch me.
00:20:17
Speaker
Don't breathe on me.
00:20:18
Speaker
Don't look at, don't even look at me.
00:20:20
Speaker
If we're like standing, like at like the door section, like if we're looking at it, like, don't look, look down, look past.
00:20:26
Speaker
Don't just stare at me to my eyes.
00:20:30
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:30
Speaker
Don't even touch me.
00:20:31
Speaker
And yeah, no.
00:20:34
Speaker
So then what do you like doing, I guess, in your free time?
Hobbies and Video Game Preferences
00:20:41
Speaker
Free time is very rare these days.
00:20:43
Speaker
I feel like I work a lot.
00:20:47
Speaker
But...
00:20:49
Speaker
when I do have free time, I enjoy playing video games.
00:20:52
Speaker
Um, I got a switch finally.
00:20:53
Speaker
Um, so I've been playing the new legend of Zelda and some other Mario games.
00:20:59
Speaker
Um, I have a goal to read 50 books this year.
00:21:02
Speaker
I'm not going to say what number I'm on.
00:21:03
Speaker
Cause it's a little embarrassing, but I'll get there.
00:21:06
Speaker
So I'll read.
00:21:07
Speaker
Um, and then,
00:21:12
Speaker
I don't really know.
00:21:13
Speaker
I don't really do that much.
00:21:15
Speaker
Not these days, but back then, it's like maybe doing a little art stuff, like painting, trying to learn how to paint different things.
00:21:23
Speaker
I'm trying to be on track with exercising.
00:21:26
Speaker
I started a program with Shanti.
00:21:29
Speaker
I was not following the calendar.
00:21:31
Speaker
It made me depressed, so I started a new routine because I feel good with that.
00:21:36
Speaker
Shanti.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:38
Speaker
Yeah, Chauncey's the best.
00:21:39
Speaker
I always say Chauncey's my trainer.
00:21:41
Speaker
So, but yeah, that's about it.
00:21:43
Speaker
Video games, reading, exercise, and hanging out with my partner.
00:21:49
Speaker
That's about it.
00:21:50
Speaker
Very boring.
00:21:52
Speaker
I don't know if that's boring.
00:21:55
Speaker
I feel like it'd be boring if you weren't doing anything.
00:21:59
Speaker
That's true.
00:22:00
Speaker
Some days it's like that.
00:22:01
Speaker
Medicine needs to medicine a little bit more.
00:22:04
Speaker
No, I listen.
00:22:05
Speaker
I feel that.
00:22:07
Speaker
And so you said you're right now into gaming.
00:22:09
Speaker
What's your favorite game at the moment?
00:22:13
Speaker
Right now, it is... Okay, so this is different.
00:22:16
Speaker
I haven't been playing the Switch for a little bit.
00:22:18
Speaker
I have this... So there's an app called Fetch where you can scan... What do they call it?
00:22:23
Speaker
Receipts to get points.
00:22:25
Speaker
And then there used to be something where every day you could do this fake slot thing to get more points or whatever.
00:22:32
Speaker
They took that away, and now you can play games.
00:22:34
Speaker
And this feels like an ad, but it's not an ad.
00:22:36
Speaker
So you can play games to get points.
00:22:38
Speaker
So I downloaded...
00:22:41
Speaker
I downloaded this app called... Yeah.
00:22:44
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:45
Speaker
Okay, go ahead.
00:22:45
Speaker
Tell the story.
00:22:46
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:22:47
Speaker
I downloaded this app called Three Tiles.
00:22:49
Speaker
I'll show you what it looks like.
00:22:51
Speaker
So it's almost like Mahjong where you have to get things to match and you only have a certain amount of spaces to get things to match.
00:22:59
Speaker
So I literally, when I come home sometimes because I just feel like the day's been draining, I'll sit on my phone.
00:23:06
Speaker
I'll put up open Macs, watch Sister Wives.
00:23:09
Speaker
I'm trying to catch up with Sister Wives because I watched it before and I didn't really like it.
00:23:13
Speaker
Then there's like some drama happening now.
00:23:15
Speaker
It's like I need to catch up.
00:23:16
Speaker
So I had it like a little window at the top of my phone and then I'm playing the tile game.
00:23:20
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:23:22
Speaker
That is so funny because I do similar shit too.
00:23:29
Speaker
I thought it was just me.
00:23:30
Speaker
No, I do similar shit too.
00:23:32
Speaker
I've not, I've, you know, you said you have a switch and, um,
00:23:37
Speaker
And I have a PS5 and I have not been playing anything on PS5, even though I've been wanting to, because I know like, and that's also the other thing you have to like, if you buy a game, it's like you have to commit, like, you know, and yes, I was going to say that.
00:23:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:55
Speaker
It's a commitment.
00:23:56
Speaker
It's a commitment.
00:23:57
Speaker
And you don't know if you're going to like it.
00:23:59
Speaker
And there's so many options.
00:24:00
Speaker
I feel like there's too many options for stuff now.
00:24:04
Speaker
Yes, there is.
00:24:05
Speaker
There is.
00:24:06
Speaker
And like you said, the games are expensive.
00:24:07
Speaker
Like I was lucky that my sister, when she, my mom bought me a Switch for Christmas.
00:24:12
Speaker
My sister bought me the new Legend of Zelda game.
00:24:14
Speaker
So I've been playing that, but that game is massive.
00:24:17
Speaker
There's so much going on.
00:24:19
Speaker
So I was like, okay, I'll buy one of the newer Mario games, but they're all like $50, $60.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yes.
00:24:24
Speaker
So I was like, I'll get one and then maybe I'll try a demo for something else.
00:24:28
Speaker
But the demo is only like this long.
00:24:30
Speaker
Yep.
00:24:32
Speaker
like i'm not spending 120 a month on video games that i'll be in two days so right and that makes me kind of want to get the subscription thing for you know or at least get the subscription to um play a bunch of different games and not have to buy anything and commit but the subscriptions are like a hundred plus dollars oftentimes
00:24:56
Speaker
I don't understand where these subscription models came from.
00:24:59
Speaker
I feel like it's a scam.
00:25:00
Speaker
I remember when like Adobe, you can just buy and Adobe was expensive, but you could buy like Photoshop or whatever for this and have it forever, forever.
00:25:10
Speaker
Now I have to pay X, Y, Z a month to have the software.
00:25:14
Speaker
Like I don't, I don't get it.
00:25:18
Speaker
I don't get it.
00:25:18
Speaker
Listen, I'm saying because I, uh,
00:25:22
Speaker
Sometimes I use Adobe for different things and oftentimes I find I have to like buy it and then
00:25:31
Speaker
cancel it because I'm like, I can't pay the subscription every single month.
00:25:36
Speaker
And you know, like it's just cause it adds up.
00:25:39
Speaker
It adds up.
00:25:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:40
Speaker
I find that I don't use it that much to justify paying every single month a subscription.
00:25:47
Speaker
Like I just, you're right.
00:25:49
Speaker
The subscription thing is just out of control at this point.
00:25:52
Speaker
It's crazy.
00:25:54
Speaker
Like I remember when I like a couple, not a couple of years ago, like years and years ago, I got like a new laptop.
00:26:01
Speaker
And I was going to get Microsoft at like the Microsoft suite at it.
00:26:06
Speaker
And I was thinking, okay, I'll just buy the package and call it a day.
00:26:10
Speaker
And they were like, no, you got to pay X, Y, Z a month to Microsoft X, Y, Z a month to Google.
00:26:14
Speaker
I'm like, why?
00:26:15
Speaker
Right.
00:26:16
Speaker
Just let me purchase a software.
00:26:18
Speaker
But now none of our computers got to have the CD, whatever they're called, CD ports.
00:26:23
Speaker
So you can't put the CD in and install it.
00:26:25
Speaker
And if you want to download it, you got to pay a fee.
00:26:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:30
Speaker
See, I don't like that.
00:26:33
Speaker
That is just not... What is the last book that you've read?
Sobriety Journey and Personal Challenges
00:26:40
Speaker
The last book I read was a book called So Sad Today.
00:26:45
Speaker
It was a collection of essays.
00:26:47
Speaker
I actually have it on my app.
00:26:48
Speaker
It was a collection of essays by this woman who was an addict.
00:26:56
Speaker
She's a sex addict.
00:26:59
Speaker
uh had drug use disorder alcohol use disorder and it was just like essays about how her life was awful and how she tried to navigate that it's really weird I actually got it at an event I was at at work and um it was like a children's literacy event and I was like oh this seems interesting and I grabbed the book and I'm so glad I grabbed the book because there's a lot about like when I say graphic details about like her sexing people and having sex like
00:27:26
Speaker
I don't know why that was at a children's event, but it put a lot of things in perspective as someone who's a year into recovery, just about how like if you have addiction and suffer from addiction, how that can cloud your judgment and cloud like everything else you do.
00:27:42
Speaker
And even if like you end that one or if you conquer that one addiction, you
00:27:49
Speaker
you can be addicted to other things.
00:27:50
Speaker
And so like the funny example about me playing this three tile game, it kind of feels like I can't wait to go home and play this three tiles thing or whatever else.
00:27:58
Speaker
I'm like, I have to like separate that for a while and take a break.
00:28:01
Speaker
So I'm not like changing one addiction to the next.
00:28:06
Speaker
Oh my God, that is a very good point.
00:28:10
Speaker
And especially with like, I think the work that we do where we are working with people a lot,
00:28:18
Speaker
I think it gets hard to sometimes, I mean, it gets very easy to start to disassociate or just like want to, you know, play a game that is just kind of mindless and you're not really doing too much because of how hard it is to, I mean, basically work in like a field where we know resources are
00:28:43
Speaker
Slim to none.
00:28:44
Speaker
Like there's a lot of people that are just going without.
00:28:48
Speaker
And then you're almost like expected to come home and then still deal with like your own problems.
00:28:55
Speaker
And you're just like, I just need to zone out for a minute and just like play this game.
00:29:01
Speaker
But then you start to realize it becomes a pattern when you are.
00:29:07
Speaker
Yep.
00:29:08
Speaker
Same boat.
00:29:09
Speaker
There's a game I'm playing right now and it's called Alien Invasion.
00:29:14
Speaker
And it's on my phone.
00:29:16
Speaker
And it's mindless as hell.
00:29:18
Speaker
Like, basically, also, like, not sponsored by any means.
00:29:23
Speaker
Yes.
00:29:24
Speaker
Yeah, like, y'all not sponsoring us.
00:29:26
Speaker
But it's so mindless.
00:29:28
Speaker
Like, it's basically like this game where you are...
00:29:34
Speaker
I guess you invade like this alien invades this like space of like, well, outer space.
00:29:41
Speaker
And you basically are leveling up the alien and it's like collecting like the tentacles collect the humans and like you create cargo and that basically enhances your character.
00:29:59
Speaker
But all you're doing is moving your character around and like,
00:30:04
Speaker
there's a percentage bar that says like a hundred percent and then it like of health.
00:30:09
Speaker
And then it starts to go down as you're like collecting the thing.
00:30:13
Speaker
And then you're taking it back to the base and you're storing it and then upgrade.
00:30:18
Speaker
It's like,
00:30:19
Speaker
Wow, because the game sounds way more detailed than that, but when you actually play it, it's like you start to be like, all right, because you can't fight or do anything.
00:30:32
Speaker
You're just honestly moving the tracker.
00:30:34
Speaker
Yeah, that's it.
00:30:36
Speaker
And then you're upgrading your alien so that
00:30:40
Speaker
It can collect targets quicker.
00:30:44
Speaker
You can create other aliens so that they can collect targets too.
00:30:52
Speaker
And then you're using those meat points to...
00:30:56
Speaker
like I said, upgrade your alien and your base and different things.
00:31:01
Speaker
Like it is like the most mindless thing I've ever played.
00:31:05
Speaker
That is like, that seems way more interesting than what it actually is.
00:31:11
Speaker
Cause once you, like once I started playing it and I got addicted to it after a week and then I started to play it and then I'm like, Oh, I can do this.
00:31:18
Speaker
I can do like level up this way.
00:31:20
Speaker
I can level up that way.
00:31:21
Speaker
And then there's different events that'll give you more, um,
00:31:25
Speaker
credits you know how you they want you to buy things in games you know the buy-in ads and things like that so um i have not spent money on this game i will say that okay good yes yes that's like the talibans who was like buy these packages and i'm like no that's how i that's why i could not get into fortnite because i'm like all right now like i'm not gonna buy things just to be shot down like every day
00:31:53
Speaker
Right.
00:31:54
Speaker
And I already paid for the game itself.
00:31:55
Speaker
If you have to do Fortnite.
00:31:56
Speaker
I'm not sure if it's free.
00:31:58
Speaker
Fortnite is free and then you have to pay for the packages.
00:32:01
Speaker
See, that's how they get you.
00:32:03
Speaker
It's like the subscription model again.
00:32:05
Speaker
It's just like that.
00:32:08
Speaker
Because what ends up happening in Fortnite is like they'll drop you from like high above or something.
00:32:15
Speaker
Like you kind of come out of like a helicopter, whatever.
00:32:18
Speaker
I forget exactly what the thing was.
00:32:20
Speaker
But I played it a couple of times and like for free.
00:32:24
Speaker
And you'll just come out of this helicopter.
00:32:25
Speaker
You'll fly down, you'll land.
00:32:27
Speaker
And then there's like other people in the game that are just trying to like
00:32:31
Speaker
kill you.
00:32:32
Speaker
So you're just running around like, you know, trying to understand how the game works.
00:32:40
Speaker
And then like people are chasing you and then they basically kill you.
00:32:42
Speaker
And it's like, well, what's the point?
00:32:45
Speaker
Interesting.
00:32:45
Speaker
Is Fortnite, is that the game where you can also like build as you're like moving around?
00:32:50
Speaker
Is that that game?
00:32:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:32:52
Speaker
Yep.
00:32:54
Speaker
So it is one of those games.
00:32:56
Speaker
I feel like it's just not for me.
00:32:57
Speaker
It's not for me.
00:32:58
Speaker
And I recognize that and that's great.
00:33:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:01
Speaker
No, that's good.
00:33:03
Speaker
Yes.
00:33:03
Speaker
I know you mentioned your sobriety.
00:33:05
Speaker
I didn't know how comfortable you felt about talking about that on the show.
00:33:09
Speaker
Very comfortable.
00:33:10
Speaker
Okay.
00:33:11
Speaker
I am a sober dober.
00:33:12
Speaker
I'm actually waiting on this tattoo artist to get back to me.
00:33:17
Speaker
It's actually a Christian tattoo artist in Cleveland, Ohio, and she does color ink on people of color skin.
00:33:26
Speaker
And so I want to get a tattoo on my, what is this called?
00:33:29
Speaker
Your forearm?
00:33:31
Speaker
above my Spider-Man tattoo.
00:33:33
Speaker
And I just want to get like the sobriety symbol and then flowers kind of coming out of it and the flowers be colored.
00:33:41
Speaker
And so the flowers are April flowers, which I right now can't tell you what they are, but I have pictures of them.
00:33:47
Speaker
But flowers April, they represent when I became sober and also sort of like memorial to my aunt who passed away April 23rd, two years ago, I think now.
00:33:59
Speaker
Yeah, that is wild to think about, honestly, that April is a month for that where your aunt's passing, which was very, it felt very sudden.
00:34:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:15
Speaker
Because she was still so young.
00:34:18
Speaker
Right, yeah.
00:34:18
Speaker
She was still young.
00:34:20
Speaker
She had just turned 50.
00:34:23
Speaker
So yeah, she'd have been 52 this year.
00:34:24
Speaker
She had just turned 52.
00:34:27
Speaker
And it was weird because like she we celebrated her 100 days of like cancer got beaten, gone.
00:34:34
Speaker
She's on the mend.
00:34:36
Speaker
And then she got sick again.
00:34:37
Speaker
I remember like me and Vince visited her that Easter Sunday.
00:34:42
Speaker
And she was fine, like joking, whatever else.
00:34:44
Speaker
It sucked that she was in the hospital for Easter, but she was okay.
00:34:47
Speaker
And then literally like two or three days later, my mom's like, you need to come to the hospital.
00:34:53
Speaker
This, this is, this might be it.
00:34:55
Speaker
And like to see how she was just like alive and just herself.
00:35:00
Speaker
Like I did not recognize my aunt when I saw her in the hospital.
00:35:04
Speaker
Like it was like a crazy decline.
00:35:06
Speaker
That happened quickly.
00:35:08
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, we're thinking about hospice care, this or that.
00:35:10
Speaker
And like what, she was just fine.
00:35:12
Speaker
Like three days ago, what do you mean?
00:35:13
Speaker
Like she was perfectly fine.
00:35:14
Speaker
So like she could, yeah, the,
00:35:18
Speaker
I'm glad I saw her and talked to her for the last time.
00:35:21
Speaker
But part of me is like sad that that's how I had to remember her.
00:35:25
Speaker
Obviously, so I have memories of her lively and healthy and happy.
00:35:29
Speaker
But just to see her have to go in that way, I think was really hard.
00:35:35
Speaker
Because, yeah, she just was not herself at all.
00:35:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:38
Speaker
And now you said that was two years ago, right?
00:35:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:42
Speaker
I think it's 2024 now.
00:35:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker
Um, yeah, because that was two years ago because I got surgery right after that.
00:35:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:35:53
Speaker
And then you, um, one year sober as of April 16th.
00:35:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:36:00
Speaker
April 16th is my date.
00:36:04
Speaker
Woo.
00:36:04
Speaker
Um, what was that?
00:36:09
Speaker
I mean, again, talk about like as much as you feel comfortable with, but like leading up to, um,
00:36:17
Speaker
the decision, like, what was it like?
00:36:23
Speaker
Like, what was the thing that made you be like, I gotta go?
00:36:30
Speaker
I remember I was just, so I'm sober from alcohol use.
00:36:34
Speaker
I remember I was just drinking a lot and a lot meaning like we were working from home most days and the days that I was working from home,
00:36:45
Speaker
You know, I was like, well, I have coffee.
00:36:47
Speaker
I have some whiskey.
00:36:48
Speaker
I can put a little bit of whiskey in my coffee.
00:36:50
Speaker
It's OK.
00:36:51
Speaker
And then I would drink that and have a little more whiskey, keep adding it.
00:36:55
Speaker
And then I'm like, it's lunchtime.
00:36:57
Speaker
I'm working.
00:36:57
Speaker
I'm still working.
00:36:58
Speaker
I'm still a little sober.
00:37:00
Speaker
I mean, like feeling sober in the moment.
00:37:04
Speaker
And I could even have a beer with lunch.
00:37:08
Speaker
And then there'll be another beer and another beer.
00:37:10
Speaker
So I'm just drinking all day.
00:37:12
Speaker
Vince would get home and he'll be like, oh, you want to have a drink while we have dinner?
00:37:15
Speaker
I'm like, yes.
00:37:17
Speaker
Then I would black out.
00:37:17
Speaker
And he was like, how are you blacking out?
00:37:19
Speaker
And you just had one or two, maybe three beers with me.
00:37:22
Speaker
Like what is happening?
00:37:23
Speaker
So I was drinking all day.
00:37:25
Speaker
I was blacking out consistently.
00:37:28
Speaker
Me and Vince's relationship wasn't doing well.
00:37:30
Speaker
And I was just like depressed, like done.
00:37:32
Speaker
And I remember I was looking for a new therapist and
00:37:35
Speaker
And when I was doing intake at this one place that I was interested in, did the intake or whatever else.
00:37:43
Speaker
And then they were like, the way that you answered your alcohol use, you need treatment.
00:37:50
Speaker
You need to go to get treatment, seek treatment, and then you can have a regular therapist.
00:37:53
Speaker
And I was like,
00:37:55
Speaker
It's not that bad.
00:37:55
Speaker
That's weird.
00:37:57
Speaker
And they gave me like a list of people to consider.
00:38:00
Speaker
And I just sat on it for a couple of weeks and I had a conversation with Vince and he was just saying like, you need to get this together because if you don't, this is it.
00:38:09
Speaker
And just feeling like how it was getting to points where.
00:38:13
Speaker
Yes, this is it as in what relationship relationship.
00:38:17
Speaker
Oh, probably because he just didn't want to deal with that.
00:38:20
Speaker
And like having like pick me up all the time.
00:38:23
Speaker
I'm like blacked out all the time.
00:38:24
Speaker
Sometimes I'm really sad.
00:38:25
Speaker
Sometimes I'm really angry.
00:38:28
Speaker
But also like just being like really depressed, really anxious.
00:38:32
Speaker
At this time, I wasn't at this time.
00:38:35
Speaker
I wasn't like completely medicated.
00:38:37
Speaker
My primary my primary care physician gave me some medication for anxiety, but it wasn't really working.
00:38:46
Speaker
So yeah, long story short.
00:38:49
Speaker
Um, yeah, Ben said it could be over.
00:38:53
Speaker
And I started to look at the places that the therapy practice recommended.
00:38:58
Speaker
They didn't look too hot.
00:39:00
Speaker
So I just researched like what are good places for treatment or like therapy for someone who has like some sort of like addiction in the fight for young professionals.
00:39:09
Speaker
I found this place called Providence.
00:39:11
Speaker
I was like, okay, great.
00:39:12
Speaker
I did not think I was going to be sober.
00:39:14
Speaker
I was like, I'm going to get some help on my drinking habits and
00:39:17
Speaker
And then I'm going to return to drinking in a healthy manner.
00:39:21
Speaker
And I went to intake.
00:39:23
Speaker
Fansful went with me to intake at Providence.
00:39:26
Speaker
And they were like, yeah, you do have a problem.
00:39:29
Speaker
And we recommend, like, if you want to get treatment through us, you have to be sober for a period of time.
00:39:33
Speaker
Again, I'm just thinking, like, okay, I can go back.
00:39:35
Speaker
They're like, no, we, like...
00:39:37
Speaker
Recommend you be sober forever because you have a problem.
00:39:40
Speaker
And we also think that you need to go to detox to start sobriety.
00:39:45
Speaker
Like, don't start, like, stop drinking on your own because you'll probably die.
00:39:48
Speaker
And I was like, that's crazy.
00:39:50
Speaker
And they're like, no, like, we're not advocating for you to drink, but like, keep drinking until you go to detox so that you don't go into shock.
00:39:59
Speaker
And so I agreed to their treatment.
00:40:02
Speaker
I agreed to go to the detox facility that they recommended.
00:40:06
Speaker
Because again, in this part of my mind, I'm thinking like,
00:40:09
Speaker
I'm just going to get help with my issues and I'll return to drinking in a normal way.
00:40:14
Speaker
I went to detox for like eight or 10 days.
00:40:17
Speaker
It is really nice facility, really nice people.
00:40:19
Speaker
It's one of the best, scariest times of my life, but like one of the best times I feel like to really like deep blood, couldn't have my phone with me.
00:40:27
Speaker
If I wanted to call somebody, it was like for five minutes, it had to be like an emergency contact and it was on speakerphone with a doctor.
00:40:34
Speaker
So I couldn't even like, I felt like I was okay.
00:40:38
Speaker
Not in jail, because I could walk around and do things that I wanted to do, but we couldn't have certain cosmetic products with us.
00:40:45
Speaker
I couldn't have my bobby pins.
00:40:48
Speaker
Hair ties, I think I could have a hair tie.
00:40:51
Speaker
But even then, it was like, no.
00:40:55
Speaker
I got strip searched.
00:40:57
Speaker
I had to bend down to cough the whole thing.
00:41:00
Speaker
And I was like, I am not a criminal.
00:41:02
Speaker
I elected to put myself here.
00:41:04
Speaker
What the heck?
00:41:06
Speaker
No, listen, that's how they are.
00:41:08
Speaker
Like, they literally have to make sure that you are not, like, going to...
00:41:15
Speaker
you know overdose or relapse or like anything like or if you you know like or because a lot of times people just go to appease their families and right right you know they have to make sure that you are like going to actually participate in a program and um that they can like release you and uh
00:41:37
Speaker
And you not be like a danger, you know, to yourself.
00:41:41
Speaker
Right.
Dealing with Addiction: Treatment and Realization
00:41:42
Speaker
Right.
00:41:42
Speaker
And it made it made sense because, like, you know, there are all different kinds of people who were there who were there for addictions, for all kinds of stuff.
00:41:51
Speaker
I was lucky because I didn't have a roommate and I just had to share a bathroom for a little bit.
00:41:56
Speaker
But the woman I was sharing a bathroom with was only there for two more days.
00:41:59
Speaker
So I had a bathroom to myself, I had a room to myself.
00:42:02
Speaker
The only creepy thing was like my first like couple of days there, they would come in while I was sleeping and check my vitals to make sure I wasn't like dead.
00:42:11
Speaker
And I would just open my eyes and then someone was just in the room and I'm like, whoa, what is happening?
00:42:15
Speaker
Or they would like knock on the door and just peek in like, I'll just make sure you're okay.
00:42:20
Speaker
And I'm like, yeah, just watching TV.
00:42:23
Speaker
So that was a little, that was a little creepy.
00:42:24
Speaker
Did they do their 15 minute checks?
00:42:26
Speaker
Is that what that was?
00:42:27
Speaker
Yeah, I think when I first got there, like 30 minute checks and then just to make sure I was good.
00:42:32
Speaker
And I had to get like my vital sign two or three times a day.
00:42:37
Speaker
The nice thing was that there was like three chefs that were there.
00:42:41
Speaker
I was the only vegan person there.
00:42:42
Speaker
I was the only black person there.
00:42:44
Speaker
But the chefs really were like, we'll figure out what to do.
00:42:47
Speaker
So they went to the grocery store, bought me.
00:42:49
Speaker
They bought a lot of gluten free stuff.
00:42:50
Speaker
I think people just assume vegan means gluten free as well.
00:42:54
Speaker
And I just appreciated it.
00:42:56
Speaker
They tried their best with making me like my own meals, which is really nice.
00:43:01
Speaker
Yeah, I think I was like the only like non-smoker there.
00:43:03
Speaker
So I would just hang out with people.
00:43:04
Speaker
They were allowed to smoke cigarettes, but they had to get it from the, I forget what the people were called, TAs, RAs.
00:43:10
Speaker
They had to get their cigarettes from them.
00:43:11
Speaker
You couldn't vape or anything like that.
00:43:13
Speaker
And there's some people who were there who quit smoking to vape, but then had to return to smoking because they couldn't have their vape to them.
00:43:19
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good point.
00:43:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:22
Speaker
So it's interesting.
00:43:24
Speaker
Very interesting people, tons of therapy all day, every day.
00:43:28
Speaker
And then when I left, I, so that was called a noble detox.
00:43:32
Speaker
My mom got me, we did the, I went to three hour drive back home.
00:43:37
Speaker
And then I started 20 hours of therapy a week with Providence.
00:43:44
Speaker
And that was individual therapy.
00:43:47
Speaker
That was all different kinds of group therapy.
00:43:49
Speaker
And I'm lucky that I've worked my way up to where I am in my job now because I don't see how any boss would be like, yeah, you can work 20 hours a week and be on treatment for 20.
00:43:58
Speaker
It was just crazy.
00:44:00
Speaker
And I was like for a month, I was like working 20 hours a week and then in treatment for 20 hours a week.
00:44:05
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:44:06
Speaker
Um, and yeah, it was, it was a lot, it was a lot.
00:44:10
Speaker
And then when like the therapy went schedule kind of went down a little bit, my work picked up.
00:44:15
Speaker
So I felt like every night I was either at a community meeting, some other form of a meeting or in therapy or an AA.
00:44:23
Speaker
And it was just like getting to be a lot.
00:44:25
Speaker
I had to pay a hundred dollars, $150 every time I had to get tested.
00:44:29
Speaker
Like they would randomly every 10 days you got to get, yeah.
00:44:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:34
Speaker
Wow.
00:44:35
Speaker
You got to pee in a test, pee in a cup or whatever.
00:44:39
Speaker
And I had to pay for the test to do that.
00:44:40
Speaker
And so it was getting expensive with all like paying for all the therapy sessions and having to pay to pee in a cup.
00:44:48
Speaker
And I was just like, it's too much.
00:44:51
Speaker
I feel really good about where I am.
00:44:53
Speaker
I only really had to be there for a year.
00:44:56
Speaker
before they're like, oh, you're good to go.
00:44:58
Speaker
So like my personal therapist thought it was good for me to leave.
00:45:01
Speaker
And so I remember asking him, like, could I stay here?
00:45:04
Speaker
You be my therapist, but could I stop doing like the testing?
00:45:07
Speaker
Cause I don't want to pay for that.
00:45:08
Speaker
And he was like, no.
00:45:09
Speaker
Like we could probably get you out of like all the group therapy stuff, but you still have to pee in a cup.
00:45:15
Speaker
And I said, I'm not driving down to center city just to pee in a cup and then pay a hundred dollars.
00:45:20
Speaker
So peace.
00:45:22
Speaker
And so, so I, I guess I left AMA.
00:45:27
Speaker
I don't know, but I've been, I've been sober since.
00:45:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:33
Speaker
I feel good.
00:45:33
Speaker
It feels like being vegan almost.
00:45:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:36
Speaker
Although it's a little different.
00:45:37
Speaker
Like being vegan almost where it's like, I can do that.
00:45:40
Speaker
I eliminated certain things from my diet.
00:45:42
Speaker
I'm good to go.
00:45:42
Speaker
The only thing with drinking is that like with veganism, if I accidentally have something, it's okay.
00:45:48
Speaker
My stomach might hurt, but it's okay.
00:45:50
Speaker
If I accidentally have alcohol though, I'm afraid that I'll crave it more and then like slip into the slump.
00:45:55
Speaker
So I have to be really careful with that.
00:45:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:58
Speaker
Happy, a happy, sober person.
00:46:01
Speaker
And it's really weird when I was younger, like younger me when I was drinking, I'm
00:46:06
Speaker
And I had met other people who were sober and I felt very like connected to their stories, although I never thought myself to be sober ever.
00:46:16
Speaker
But maybe that was something that I don't know, something foreshadowing that I would be in their situation to someday.
00:46:23
Speaker
Yeah, I think the interesting thing, I just had I was just on my friend Marcus's podcast and we were talking about veganism and.
00:46:37
Speaker
A little bit like and I compared it to being sober and I was like kind of sort of, you know, not really.
00:46:43
Speaker
But, you know, that's the interesting thing.
00:46:46
Speaker
Like going back just really quickly is like.
00:46:49
Speaker
you don't, you can accidentally like eat something that has dairy in it and you can be like, well, you know, my, my stomach hurts now and I'm shitting off the wazoo, but, but yeah, like once you, but if you like slip up and have alcohol or if you have something that, you know, has alcohol in it.
00:47:10
Speaker
And that's the thing is I never really know, like,
00:47:14
Speaker
Cause we both have parents that, you know, struggle with, um, alcoholism and how it runs in the family.
00:47:21
Speaker
And, you know, I guess my point is just that it does become a slippery slope and you just never know, um,
00:47:31
Speaker
what that could look like.
00:47:33
Speaker
And you, you know, it seems like you're making like really great efforts and trying to stay on track and really like dedicate, you know, yourself to this and being open and talking about it, like educating other people because it's not easy by any means.
00:47:53
Speaker
And it's weird.
00:47:54
Speaker
I remember when I told different people and like particularly family members, they were like,
00:48:00
Speaker
you really, you were suffering.
00:48:02
Speaker
I didn't know.
00:48:03
Speaker
I didn't see it.
00:48:03
Speaker
And it's like, yeah, you don't always see it.
00:48:05
Speaker
You don't always see it.
00:48:06
Speaker
Being in someone who lives with an addiction doesn't look the same.
00:48:11
Speaker
It doesn't look like KNA all the time.
00:48:13
Speaker
It doesn't look like someone just sitting at the bar alone all the time.
00:48:16
Speaker
Like people are very functional, have high level positions.
00:48:20
Speaker
These people I met like through all therapies, detox, like super high level positions.
00:48:25
Speaker
And you would never, ever know.
00:48:28
Speaker
You would never know.
00:48:29
Speaker
And it's funny that you say that, like just the, you know, when you told different family members and things like that, because I remember when you told me, it was one of those things where I felt like I didn't know how to feel, I think, because I was like, oh, okay.
00:48:47
Speaker
Like I didn't realize that this was a problem.
00:48:51
Speaker
There were times where I would be like,
00:48:54
Speaker
we would hang out and I'd be like, you seem blacked out, but I don't know how you're blacked out.
00:48:58
Speaker
And I would just be like, I'd be like, and then I would tell you, I'd be like, remember when blah, blah, blah.
00:49:04
Speaker
You'd be like, I don't remember that.
00:49:06
Speaker
And I'd be like, um, oh, okay.
00:49:10
Speaker
Um, but I think I was like really shocked because, um, again, like you seem like, again, you're so,
00:49:20
Speaker
you never know.
00:49:21
Speaker
Like, you never know.
00:49:22
Speaker
Like if, you know, you're, you still have a job, you were going, you know, going to work, getting things done, you know, family stuff that was coming up or you were dealing with, like you were still like present.
00:49:34
Speaker
And so it was like, I think for me, a shock to be like, Oh, my best friend never told me this.
00:49:40
Speaker
Like my best friend never told me that they were struggling this bad.
00:49:44
Speaker
Even though there were
00:49:46
Speaker
like I said, signs at times where I would be like, how are you blacked out?
00:49:51
Speaker
Like you just, we just, and I'm, I'm like high or drunk or whatever too, but I'm like remembering this thing.
00:49:58
Speaker
And then you're like not completely remembering.
00:50:01
Speaker
And I just be like, oh, okay.
00:50:04
Speaker
Well, I don't know.
00:50:05
Speaker
Maybe I don't know what I thought, but I was just like, I just think I was just kind of taken aback for a minute because I just was like, oh, I felt like,
00:50:16
Speaker
you would have maybe told me, but then I also recognized too, like after kind of thinking about it a little bit more and like processing that, I mean, one, it's like hard to just kind of even talk about, like, that's the big thing.
00:50:33
Speaker
Like, I feel like there could be, like, I don't know if you've ever felt this, but some level of like shame or guilt or just like,
00:50:46
Speaker
You look at like with your parent, like, for example, our parents, like we look at our parents and we think like, oh, we're never going to be like that.
00:50:51
Speaker
And then it's like you are starting to exhibit those behaviors and you're like, well, damn, I guess, you know, I guess it was pretty easy for me to do, you know, that too.
00:51:03
Speaker
And so I don't know if you felt that way, like any levels of like shame or guilt or like, damn, like I didn't think it would get this bad or...
00:51:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think I felt more shame with myself than other people, because I think once I like shared that, oh, I'm sober now.
00:51:19
Speaker
It was just like very open.
00:51:21
Speaker
I feel like I'm an open book.
00:51:22
Speaker
I think I also was just in denial because I was like, there's no way that I have an addiction issue.
00:51:29
Speaker
I can conquer and overcome a lot of stuff.
00:51:32
Speaker
And even before I was like making this decision to call someone for treatment help, I was like, oh, I can stop slowly stop drinking on my own.
00:51:42
Speaker
Like I can, I can do that.
00:51:43
Speaker
And so I would go like a couple of days, not realizing that I was having withdrawal symptoms.
00:51:48
Speaker
I didn't know.
00:51:49
Speaker
I was like, oh, my anxiety is like going crazy, but it's actually withdrawal.
00:51:54
Speaker
And so then I'm like, okay, well, I'll have just one tonight and then I'll
00:51:57
Speaker
have one and then sort of taper off and that one just kept building up and I was just like I don't know what's going on and that's why I wanted to like get medical help first before starting telling everybody like hey I think I have this issue because I was like maybe I'm just like really like upset about work or stressed about this family thing and maybe that's why I'm drinking so much but if I get some help I'll stop but not realizing that it was actually that yeah
00:52:26
Speaker
Right.
00:52:27
Speaker
No, that's, I mean, and I'm glad that you, you know, went ahead and did that and also did it like the, you know, quote unquote, correct medical way.
00:52:36
Speaker
Um, because you're right.
00:52:37
Speaker
Like if you just stopped drinking out of nowhere, it's just going to be like, uh, you're going to, you could die.
00:52:42
Speaker
Like that's literally point blank period.
00:52:45
Speaker
Um, you can die.
00:52:47
Speaker
So, um, I'm glad you shared that.
00:52:50
Speaker
Do you have any like advice for people that are maybe in, um,
00:52:56
Speaker
situations where they're like, maybe I am drinking too much or maybe I am like doing, you know, X drug, you know, too much.
00:53:08
Speaker
And maybe I need to cut back or maybe like I'm getting, you know, friends or family are telling me something and they are, they're saying it, but I'm not noticing it.
00:53:18
Speaker
Or I think it's not a problem.
00:53:20
Speaker
Like what advice would you give to people?
00:53:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:23
Speaker
I guess I would say first is that when it comes to alcohol and some drugs now, everything's very normalized in our society.
00:53:31
Speaker
Like it's okay to drink.
00:53:32
Speaker
It's okay to do whatever else.
00:53:33
Speaker
If you have a drink or two and you're already plastered or you're a lightweight, you need to like build up your tolerance.
00:53:40
Speaker
And then same things with certain drugs, you know, like say like weed, for example, people really think you can't get addicted to weed, but you can get addicted to anything, anything that you depend on to like function, anything that you just need to do something else that's an addiction.
00:53:55
Speaker
So one, I would say recognize that there are societal pressures that make these things seem okay.
00:54:01
Speaker
And if you're feeling like you're using it too much, you're not crazy.
00:54:05
Speaker
You're not weird.
00:54:06
Speaker
Most people actually have some sort of substance use disorder.
00:54:10
Speaker
There are varying levels to it.
00:54:12
Speaker
But I would, you know, talk to your network, your friends, maybe hop on to an AA or NA or whatever the case may be.
00:54:22
Speaker
There are virtual options.
00:54:23
Speaker
So you don't have to like show your face.
00:54:25
Speaker
You don't have to speak.
00:54:26
Speaker
You can just listen to other people's stories.
00:54:28
Speaker
That was really helpful for me hearing other people's stories and just not being afraid to be different.
00:54:35
Speaker
And I think that also just depends on the network you have.
00:54:37
Speaker
Like if I didn't have a good support system, I don't know if I would have been able to go through with it.
00:54:41
Speaker
Like if I had friends who were like, no, like you're not drinking that awfully.
00:54:47
Speaker
It's like, it's okay.
00:54:49
Speaker
Just keep trying.
00:54:50
Speaker
Then I don't know.
00:54:51
Speaker
I might either not be here or I don't know what would have happened.
00:54:56
Speaker
Right.
00:54:57
Speaker
No, and you're right about that, because that's, I think, another thing is that people that are in denial try to downplay it.
00:55:04
Speaker
And I think that...
00:55:07
Speaker
Like not what I mean, not you, like as in you would do it, but like your friends, like friends and family, like, for example, like some people have friends and family that are like not as supportive in that way or will say like, oh, you think you're drinking that bad?
00:55:22
Speaker
Like, I don't think you're drinking that bad.
00:55:24
Speaker
And then it like almost like encouraging it to.
00:55:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:31
Speaker
almost like that shame like their own like projections point to you like that's what it feels like yes no i said even like with being vegan like you tell someone like you're vegan they're like well god put the animals on the earth for us i didn't say anything about i didn't say i just said this is what i do
00:55:50
Speaker
Listen, if you go listen to Marcus's podcast, we kind of started talking about veganism a little bit.
00:55:55
Speaker
And I was just, it was very caught off guard.
00:55:58
Speaker
And like you said, like some people have their own like thoughts about it and you just, and they automatically get defensive.
00:56:06
Speaker
And yes.
00:56:08
Speaker
They get scared and or I don't know what it is.
00:56:10
Speaker
It's like it's just like this defense goes up and you're like, I didn't say all that.
00:56:15
Speaker
Like I didn't do all that.
00:56:17
Speaker
I didn't say all that.
00:56:17
Speaker
So no, I didn't say you.
00:56:19
Speaker
I said me.
00:56:20
Speaker
I said me.
00:56:22
Speaker
And, you know, and I think that's the thing to like having good friends and family that we all are just like, you know yourself better than you.
00:56:31
Speaker
you know, at the end of the day, we respect that.
00:56:34
Speaker
You know, if you think it's a problem, then, you know, again, we support you and we're going to do like whatever we can to make sure that you're good.
00:56:45
Speaker
Whether it's like checking in or, you know, just being like available to hang out or phone call, whatever, you know, I think that that is having a really good support system in that way.
00:56:57
Speaker
Sounds like that really helped.
00:56:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:00
Speaker
And like, sort of speaking of like that weird thing of like people projecting, I can tell like the difference in my mom's reaction to my dad's.
00:57:06
Speaker
My mom was sad.
00:57:07
Speaker
She thought that she did something wrong.
00:57:09
Speaker
She was like, and she never like questioned me.
00:57:11
Speaker
Like, are you sure?
00:57:12
Speaker
Like, she was just like, how bad is it?
00:57:15
Speaker
I didn't recognize it was this bad.
00:57:17
Speaker
Why didn't I recognize it?
00:57:18
Speaker
Like, what do you need?
00:57:19
Speaker
How can I help you?
00:57:20
Speaker
Like, what do you feel comfortable sharing?
00:57:22
Speaker
She just wanted to understand more.
00:57:24
Speaker
My dad was like,
00:57:27
Speaker
You're not drinking that much.
00:57:28
Speaker
That's not happening.
00:57:29
Speaker
And then it flipped to, well, what I drink, it's only like this.
00:57:33
Speaker
And I was like, who mentioned you?
00:57:35
Speaker
I said, I'm going away.
00:57:41
Speaker
You did anything.
00:57:43
Speaker
I'm talking about me.
00:57:44
Speaker
And he was even like, well, what are the doctor's credentials?
00:57:46
Speaker
Do they have any credentials to even say that you have this issue?
00:57:49
Speaker
And it's like, why are you fighting this?
00:57:51
Speaker
I'm doing something that will better myself has nothing to do with you and your struggles.
00:57:55
Speaker
This is me as your child saying, I'm struggling.
00:57:59
Speaker
I'm going to get help for it.
00:58:00
Speaker
And it was just like huge projection.
00:58:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:04
Speaker
And I think that that's also the thing about addiction is like when someone else, you know, whatever they're dealing with, whatever it is, it starts to make them think about themselves.
00:58:15
Speaker
And that can be scary to start to be like, well, damn, like maybe like if you're doing this, then maybe I need to do it.
00:58:23
Speaker
Or like they don't think that yet, but there is almost like this attack of like, you know, you're because you're doing it like you think that maybe I need to also be doing it.
00:58:33
Speaker
Right.
00:58:34
Speaker
And that's where you got to really, if that's, if that happens, it's like that, what is that phrase?
00:58:40
Speaker
Oh, I can't think of it.
00:58:41
Speaker
It's like some phrase like, oh, the shoe fits.
00:58:44
Speaker
Like, yes, if the shoe fits.
00:58:45
Speaker
And that's like, that's like back to what I was saying before about like, I would see people's stories about sobriety and it would really tug at me.
00:58:52
Speaker
And cause it was, and it was never a thing of like, uh, well, I don't drink that much.
00:58:56
Speaker
It's like, maybe, maybe I should consider that.
00:58:59
Speaker
What would it look if I consider being sober?
00:59:01
Speaker
What would that look like for me?
00:59:02
Speaker
And that was like, yeah.
00:59:04
Speaker
So if the shoe fits, I don't know.
00:59:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:09
Speaker
Listen, that's kind of how I think about
Game Segment: This or That
00:59:12
Speaker
most things.
00:59:12
Speaker
I'm like, if the shoe fits, because, you know, start acting out, then... Everybody want to be O.J.
00:59:18
Speaker
Simpson.
00:59:19
Speaker
Saying the glove don't fit.
00:59:21
Speaker
But it do.
00:59:22
Speaker
And it'd be fitting.
00:59:24
Speaker
All right.
00:59:27
Speaker
Well, let's move on.
00:59:29
Speaker
I have a little game.
00:59:32
Speaker
It is called This or That.
00:59:34
Speaker
And interestingly enough, you don't know what the this or that are because I did not put those in the notes.
00:59:41
Speaker
And what if I don't know what they are when you say them?
00:59:44
Speaker
I mean, you're going to know what they are.
00:59:45
Speaker
They're not going to be like, they're not going to be anything that is to.
00:59:52
Speaker
How can I say that?
00:59:53
Speaker
It's not going to be anything too, like, obscure.
00:59:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:59:57
Speaker
So, these are their questions.
01:00:00
Speaker
Night owl or early bird?
01:00:03
Speaker
Early bird.
01:00:05
Speaker
I'm a night owl.
01:00:07
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:09
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:09
Speaker
It depends.
01:00:10
Speaker
No.
01:00:11
Speaker
It depends on what's happening.
01:00:14
Speaker
But I feel like... I guess I don't know what's considered a night owl.
01:00:18
Speaker
Like, I can go to bed at, like...
01:00:20
Speaker
one and then wake up at like five.
01:00:24
Speaker
But I'm not that.
01:00:26
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:32
Speaker
Wow.
01:00:32
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:34
Speaker
So that's why I never really know.
01:00:35
Speaker
But like, I mean, speaking of our jobs, I get so exhausted sometimes that I don't know, I could be asleep at 11, but still like my body will wake up at 5 a.m.
01:00:45
Speaker
So that's wild.
01:00:46
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:00:47
Speaker
I'm a night owl because no matter how much sleep I get, I could go to bed at like eight o'clock and wake up in the morning at like five and I'm still going to want to be asleep.
01:01:03
Speaker
So like 10 o'clock at least.
01:01:05
Speaker
Oh, that's so late.
01:01:06
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:07
Speaker
That's late.
01:01:09
Speaker
That's me.
01:01:12
Speaker
Okay, so let's do this one.
01:01:14
Speaker
All right.
01:01:15
Speaker
So from a work perspective, phone calls or emails?
01:01:20
Speaker
Emails.
01:01:21
Speaker
Email me.
01:01:21
Speaker
Do not call me.
01:01:22
Speaker
I spend so much time on the phone.
01:01:25
Speaker
I love the people I work with and serve.
01:01:27
Speaker
There are some times I get a little peeved when I send an email and then next thing you know, they're calling me.
01:01:33
Speaker
Why?
01:01:33
Speaker
Listen.
01:01:34
Speaker
Email me back.
01:01:37
Speaker
I need some clarity.
01:01:38
Speaker
The clarity is in the email.
01:01:39
Speaker
Nothing was unclear.
01:01:40
Speaker
You just want to talk.
01:01:41
Speaker
I don't want to.
01:01:42
Speaker
Listen, I think I same thing, because essentially a lot of stuff can just be an email.
01:01:50
Speaker
A lot of things can just be an email.
01:01:52
Speaker
And a lot of times I think that unless it's something like urgent in the moment that needs to be dealt with, just email me.
01:02:00
Speaker
Right.
01:02:00
Speaker
But I will even say that there is a situation where I was helping an organization with like blocking off the street or whatever else.
01:02:09
Speaker
But this whole this whole process, the city got something to the different people too late or whatever else.
01:02:15
Speaker
So I have my work phone that looks like this, looks like I sell drugs and then my regular phone.
01:02:21
Speaker
And, but then you have the office phone.
01:02:22
Speaker
So that particular day, my work phone was sitting, but I wasn't really paying attention to having some meetings.
01:02:28
Speaker
I was answering the other phone.
01:02:29
Speaker
I was out at meetings and stuff like that.
01:02:32
Speaker
And so I had a missed call for a number I didn't recognize.
01:02:34
Speaker
And I was like, well, they didn't leave a message, whatever else.
01:02:37
Speaker
doing work whatever and then i'm getting like hmm a lot of people are calling me so i'm looking so i'm like okay let me call these people back and they're like we've been trying to reach you all day because this organization has this paper in and we didn't know who the org was and they said you're working with them and i said why didn't y'all email me why didn't you email me if you said yo call me right now i would have seen that i said you know voice message that yes leave me a voicemail
01:03:02
Speaker
I don't know.
01:03:03
Speaker
It was a lot.
01:03:04
Speaker
And I said, y'all need to email.
01:03:05
Speaker
And then I had to tell one of the people, I saw them yesterday.
01:03:08
Speaker
This happens again to be the police.
01:03:10
Speaker
I saw one of the officers yesterday and I was like, you have my personal cell phone number.
01:03:15
Speaker
Stop texting my work phone.
01:03:18
Speaker
And he was like, no, I don't.
01:03:19
Speaker
And so I texted him.
01:03:20
Speaker
He said, oh, see what happened was I saved the work number and not this one.
01:03:24
Speaker
I was trying to figure out why you had a green bubble because...
01:03:28
Speaker
First of all, let's not even do that.
01:03:30
Speaker
Right.
01:03:31
Speaker
Let's not do that.
01:03:32
Speaker
Like, couple of answers.
01:03:34
Speaker
Yeah.
01:03:34
Speaker
So, yeah, please don't.
01:03:35
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:37
Speaker
All right.
01:03:38
Speaker
Now, how about for your personal life, a phone call or a text?
01:03:44
Speaker
Text.
01:03:46
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:46
Speaker
Text.
01:03:47
Speaker
I think, yeah.
01:03:49
Speaker
There's, I feel like it depends on who calls me.
01:03:53
Speaker
Like, say when my coworkers call me.
01:03:58
Speaker
this sounds mean, but I can kind of do other stuff while they're talking to me and I feel bad about it.
01:04:01
Speaker
Cause I do that at work too.
01:04:03
Speaker
Like I'm known as like the person that like tunes them out all the time.
01:04:07
Speaker
So I, they say, Oh, you missed certain conversations.
01:04:09
Speaker
You know, listen to us.
01:04:10
Speaker
So I'd like, yeah, cause I'm working, but y'all should be doing too.
01:04:13
Speaker
Right.
01:04:13
Speaker
But yeah, I really prefer a text message.
01:04:16
Speaker
I just don't feel like being like, just, Hey, whatever else.
01:04:21
Speaker
Unless it's like my mom, mom, I'll talk to her on the phone.
01:04:23
Speaker
If she wants to talk on the phone, we can sit and talk on the phone.
01:04:26
Speaker
But yeah,
01:04:27
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I don't like to be tethered like that.
01:04:30
Speaker
No, same.
01:04:31
Speaker
I'm literally the same way.
01:04:32
Speaker
And I like text because, uh, I feel like phone calls, I feel awkward on the phone.
01:04:37
Speaker
Like I'm not a phone person.
01:04:39
Speaker
So for me, it is like, I do a lot better when someone's like sitting either in front of me, like in person or, um,
01:04:49
Speaker
even virtually, but I feel like when it's the phone, it's like, I'm just looking around and I'm hearing you and I'm more of an audio visual person.
01:05:00
Speaker
So like, if I can like see you and talk to you, then I can, my thoughts will be a little bit more clear and a text.
01:05:10
Speaker
I'm like, at least with a text, I can keep like rereading it over or even my response, like reread it over and make sure it sounds right.
01:05:18
Speaker
And then send it.
01:05:19
Speaker
Right.
01:05:20
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:20
Speaker
And I feel like, too, having a job where I'm constantly on the phone in my personal life, that's the last thing I want to do.
01:05:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:05:29
Speaker
I hate talking on the phone so much.
01:05:33
Speaker
Matching couples outfits or individual style.
01:05:42
Speaker
This is hard.
01:05:43
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:47
Speaker
Matching couples outfits or individual.
01:05:49
Speaker
Why is it so hard?
01:05:50
Speaker
I think for me.
01:05:53
Speaker
Okay.
01:05:54
Speaker
Go ahead.
01:05:55
Speaker
No, go ahead.
01:05:55
Speaker
You got one.
01:05:56
Speaker
Go ahead.
01:05:57
Speaker
Okay.
01:05:58
Speaker
This is cheating.
01:05:59
Speaker
I think matching outfits with the flair of your individual style.
01:06:03
Speaker
Oh, okay.
01:06:04
Speaker
So, like, for example, I got this shirt that had, like, mushrooms on it.
01:06:09
Speaker
And...
01:06:10
Speaker
I got a similar shirt to Vince.
01:06:11
Speaker
Like mine was like a t-shirt and his is a button down.
01:06:14
Speaker
And so we both wore the shirts, but like our pants and everything else were a little different.
01:06:20
Speaker
Cause like it's our individual flair.
01:06:21
Speaker
Cause we have very different styles.
01:06:22
Speaker
I think I'm a little stylish.
01:06:24
Speaker
Okay.
01:06:27
Speaker
I'm kind of torn on that one too, because I feel like in context, the matching couples outfits can be cute for like, um,
01:06:36
Speaker
you like you and Vince did one for Christmas where you guys did those photos for Christmas.
01:06:43
Speaker
I think that's like really cute.
01:06:45
Speaker
My coworker, Maddie also did the same thing where she did like her and her partner did like a matching couples kind of outfit thing.
01:06:57
Speaker
And then for individuals, I feel like to me, individual style is always my go to, I think, as a default, because.
01:07:06
Speaker
I don't know, I feel like even in relationships, I'm like, I want to have my own identity, identity outside of my partner.
01:07:13
Speaker
But there is something like really cute about.
01:07:17
Speaker
A matching outfit where it's like this person's mine or I'm theirs and we're together or at least like we're together.
01:07:25
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:26
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:26
Speaker
And I like it when we do sometimes have like a matchy thing because like he's white, I'm black, so we're just like naturally very opposite and different generally.
01:07:36
Speaker
So we wear something that's like sort of similar.
01:07:38
Speaker
It's like, oh, look at that.
01:07:39
Speaker
We're a team.
01:07:40
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:40
Speaker
It's like you're a team.
01:07:43
Speaker
Different people.
01:07:44
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:44
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:45
Speaker
It's like, yeah, like you said, like you're on a team essentially.
01:07:48
Speaker
Okay.
01:07:52
Speaker
Cauliflower wings or seitan wings?
01:07:56
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to go with cauliflower wings only because depending on where you get the seitan wings.
01:08:04
Speaker
Have you tried Blazer's food joint?
01:08:07
Speaker
I've had their vegan pizza, I think, or they had a pizza one time that was vegan.
01:08:12
Speaker
Yeah, they the guy that works at the guy that cooks at Triangle cooks here.
01:08:18
Speaker
And so, yeah, so check it out now.
01:08:21
Speaker
But they have seitan wings that are like real crispy and it's not like super bready.
01:08:27
Speaker
And that's my issue with it.
01:08:27
Speaker
I feel like seitan wings are really bready.
01:08:29
Speaker
And if I don't know like what the base is, I feel like I'm just eating bread, especially if I have french fries with it.
01:08:35
Speaker
So the cauliflower is a little different because these have like a vegetable and then I have french fries.
01:08:38
Speaker
So, yeah.
01:08:39
Speaker
That's a really good point.
01:08:41
Speaker
And I had not thought of that because...
01:08:44
Speaker
I mean, that's essentially what seitan is.
01:08:47
Speaker
It's like gluten.
01:08:48
Speaker
Yeah.
01:08:49
Speaker
Yeah.
01:08:50
Speaker
That is a good point.
01:08:51
Speaker
I think for me, though, I don't know.
01:08:53
Speaker
Like that's a right now that I like feels like that through a wrench in my idea because I want to say seitan wings only because I feel like they mimic that texture of chicken really well.
01:09:06
Speaker
But I do love a good cauliflower wing.
01:09:08
Speaker
Like I love when the cauliflower is, and you make really good cauliflower wings, by the way.
01:09:14
Speaker
Thank you.
01:09:14
Speaker
Thank you.
01:09:15
Speaker
Yes.
01:09:16
Speaker
I need everyone to know that this is the cauliflower wing person right in front of me.
01:09:22
Speaker
But like with a cauliflower wing, I feel like
01:09:27
Speaker
Unless it's made right.
01:09:28
Speaker
And I make them.
01:09:29
Speaker
I don't think I make them right.
01:09:30
Speaker
Or I don't make them as good as I would like to make them.
01:09:33
Speaker
I'll do a really good tofu like wing-ish thing.
01:09:39
Speaker
See, that sounds good.
01:09:40
Speaker
Yeah, I could do that.
01:09:41
Speaker
Like I could do tofu really well.
01:09:44
Speaker
But I think for me, cauliflower is just so.
01:09:47
Speaker
I guess because.
01:09:48
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
01:09:53
Speaker
It just like it really takes a good person, I think, to make it right.
01:09:57
Speaker
Like, the one place we went to that I think did them pretty good was Urban Village.
01:10:08
Speaker
That brewery and we watched the games.
01:10:11
Speaker
Yes.
01:10:11
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:12
Speaker
I think that they had good ones.
01:10:15
Speaker
Because I felt like they, because we got the fried pickles and cauliflower wings, I believe.
01:10:21
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:23
Speaker
Yeah, I think those are good.
01:10:24
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:25
Speaker
But that was a while ago.
01:10:26
Speaker
That was like... I was going to say, that was so long ago.
01:10:29
Speaker
That was a while ago.
01:10:30
Speaker
So the fact that I even still remember that is just like... Was that pre-pandemic?
01:10:38
Speaker
No.
01:10:39
Speaker
I think it was pandemic.
01:10:42
Speaker
Okay.
01:10:43
Speaker
Cause we were friends with, um, one of our, yes.
01:10:47
Speaker
Yep.
01:10:48
Speaker
Yep.
01:10:49
Speaker
Yep.
01:10:49
Speaker
Um, coffee or tea?
01:10:52
Speaker
Coffee.
01:10:54
Speaker
Okay.
01:10:55
Speaker
Same coffee.
01:10:56
Speaker
I just can't like tea.
01:10:58
Speaker
I can't really, I mean, I can drink it, but it's not like my go-to.
01:11:04
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:04
Speaker
I don't get that.
01:11:04
Speaker
Like sort of satisfaction.
01:11:06
Speaker
Like I was over at my mom's house last Sunday.
01:11:08
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:10
Speaker
So I'm helping her write like this memoir and midway through, she's like, oh, do you want some tea?
01:11:14
Speaker
And I looked at her like, I really want some coffee.
01:11:16
Speaker
But I said, yeah, sure.
01:11:18
Speaker
Then I was like, is it decaf?
01:11:19
Speaker
And she's like, oh, sorry, I don't have it.
01:11:20
Speaker
I said, no, no, I want the caffeine.
01:11:22
Speaker
Go ahead, make the tea.
01:11:24
Speaker
Listen, and that's the thing.
01:11:26
Speaker
I'd be feeling like tea don't have enough caffeine in it.
01:11:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:30
Speaker
For me.
01:11:32
Speaker
Okay.
01:11:33
Speaker
How about vacation or staycation?
01:11:38
Speaker
Vacation.
01:11:40
Speaker
If I have money, vacation.
01:11:43
Speaker
Same.
01:11:46
Speaker
That's a good point.
01:11:47
Speaker
Same.
01:11:50
Speaker
Where do you want to go next?
01:11:53
Speaker
I have some trips planned.
01:11:55
Speaker
We're going to Pittsburgh and Ohio, which is not like a big trip, but that's how we get the tattoo.
01:12:00
Speaker
And then at Pittsburgh, there's this bar.
01:12:04
Speaker
I forget what it's called.
01:12:05
Speaker
But it's a bar that's like completely sober bar.
01:12:07
Speaker
So all in a stuff.
01:12:09
Speaker
So I go there.
01:12:09
Speaker
And then and then in September, we're planning to go to Japan.
01:12:15
Speaker
So that is my travel next round to go.
01:12:19
Speaker
Nice.
01:12:20
Speaker
I don't know what my next travel is because I mean, I don't want to spoil it, but you know.
01:12:27
Speaker
Got some things in the works.
01:12:29
Speaker
Yeah, things on the horizon.
01:12:31
Speaker
Got some good things on the horizon.
01:12:32
Speaker
I don't really want to talk about them yet until I do some things.
01:12:37
Speaker
So I have to figure out what my next trip is going to be.
01:12:43
Speaker
It might honestly be like a weekend trip to like L.A.
01:12:47
Speaker
or...
01:12:50
Speaker
I mean, like once we get a couple of holidays together, you know, just take a trip or whatever.
01:12:56
Speaker
Nothing too serious.
01:12:58
Speaker
But yeah, I might be doing like day trips or like weekend trips, I think, until I can plan.
01:13:05
Speaker
But I really wanted to go to Greece next year.
01:13:10
Speaker
And I have no like no real plan in action.
01:13:15
Speaker
yet to do it.
01:13:18
Speaker
So I am going to think more about that, I think.
01:13:20
Speaker
And then
01:13:21
Speaker
you know, send out some details to any folks if they want to go, you know?
01:13:25
Speaker
Yes.
01:13:25
Speaker
Let me know.
01:13:26
Speaker
I will.
01:13:27
Speaker
I feel like it'd be nice to, this is like how I want to live my life.
01:13:31
Speaker
Like at least once a year, take like a mini international trip.
01:13:34
Speaker
And if not like take a nice domestic trip.
01:13:38
Speaker
So like, I don't know, LA, West coast, Texas, like some, they're far farther than the East coast.
01:13:45
Speaker
And if not that, then yeah, international.
01:13:47
Speaker
Yeah.
01:13:48
Speaker
Yeah, I really want to go to either like Colorado or I don't want to go back to Vegas.
01:13:55
Speaker
Mainly because I want to go.
01:13:56
Speaker
I do want to go back to Vegas because I want to go to that grocery store place.
01:14:01
Speaker
I heard it's expensive.
01:14:04
Speaker
I told my mom about it.
01:14:06
Speaker
OK, because I thought like you paid like just to get in.
01:14:09
Speaker
But like each attraction they said you have to like pay for.
01:14:13
Speaker
okay, well, I'll figure out the price and pay him for something.
01:14:20
Speaker
I want to go.
01:14:23
Speaker
I really want to go.
01:14:24
Speaker
That's the one thing I've been like in my brain.
01:14:27
Speaker
Like when I think about traveling again, I'm just like, I really want to do this one thing.
01:14:31
Speaker
And I, and Vegas and,
01:14:36
Speaker
I just want to do it.
01:14:37
Speaker
And so I will pay the money.
01:14:39
Speaker
And it looks like, I mean, it looks like it could be an all day venture because of how detailed it is.
01:14:44
Speaker
So I feel like your money's worth, you know, you went.
01:14:47
Speaker
That's true.
01:14:48
Speaker
That's true.
01:14:50
Speaker
And then let's see.
01:14:52
Speaker
Last one I have is eBooks or physical books.
01:14:56
Speaker
Physical books?
01:14:58
Speaker
I... The only thing I can read on my phone is, like, emails or news articles.
01:15:04
Speaker
But, yeah, reading a book on the... I think it's also looking at the computer all day.
01:15:08
Speaker
It's just nice to have, like, a physical... I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something by having a physical book and turning the pages and stuff.
01:15:16
Speaker
Yeah, there's a satisfaction you get that you don't get with an e-reader.
01:15:21
Speaker
Mm-mm.
01:15:22
Speaker
No.
01:15:23
Speaker
And if I get too distracted, like, I'll see something pop up.
01:15:27
Speaker
Cause I'm not good at putting my phone on do not disturb unless it's like the sleep mode.
01:15:30
Speaker
And so something will pop up.
01:15:32
Speaker
I'll look at that, get distracted and then never get back to the book.
01:15:36
Speaker
Listen, same here.
01:15:38
Speaker
Same, same, same.
01:15:40
Speaker
So I think for me, it also is physical books because I love the idea of like, I love the way like a book smell smells and the way, um, like you said, there's that satisfaction of being able to turn the page and
01:15:56
Speaker
being able to count like how many, like I'm the kind of, I'm like Betty ADHD, but like, I'm like the kind of person where I'm like, okay, I have to count how many pages I have before the next chapter and then decide, do I have enough time or do I feel like invested?
01:16:11
Speaker
Like if I'm not that like invested in the part of
01:16:18
Speaker
oh, I got to figure out like what happens next.
01:16:19
Speaker
I got to know what happens next.
01:16:20
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, how many more chapters do I have?
01:16:22
Speaker
Because I can either stop here or I can like keep going.
01:16:25
Speaker
Right, right.
01:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, no, same here, same here.
01:16:28
Speaker
Yeah, so literally same.
01:16:31
Speaker
So all righty, let's move on to the Media Lab.
01:16:39
Speaker
And here we just kind of talk about different things
01:16:46
Speaker
different forms of media, whether it's like video games or TV shows or movies, you know, et cetera, et cetera.
01:16:56
Speaker
Um, we talk about those things.
01:16:58
Speaker
So, um,
TV Show 'Traitors': Seasons and Cast Dynamics
01:17:00
Speaker
I wanted to talk about, because I had not talked about it on the podcast before, I wanted to talk about traitors.
01:17:07
Speaker
And it's so funny because before this, you told me you did not watch season one, which is perfectly fine.
01:17:14
Speaker
I feel like a lot of people, when I've gotten them into traitors,
01:17:18
Speaker
or if they are people that have been like watching traders because you're not the first person that's told me that.
01:17:25
Speaker
So that's what I think is hilarious.
01:17:27
Speaker
It's like, you're not the first person that's told me that.
01:17:30
Speaker
My friend in California told me that
01:17:34
Speaker
He didn't see season one.
01:17:36
Speaker
I got one of my coworkers into it.
01:17:39
Speaker
She said that she didn't know there was a first season.
01:17:42
Speaker
So she didn't see season one.
01:17:44
Speaker
And I think too on Peacock, like when you go into the app, it will start off with season two.
01:17:51
Speaker
So I think that's part of that.
01:17:53
Speaker
Yes.
01:17:54
Speaker
And that's where I got mixed up.
01:17:55
Speaker
And I never heard about the show.
01:17:57
Speaker
Well, I feel like I saw, so I sometimes watch Love Island.
01:18:02
Speaker
It was very boring.
01:18:04
Speaker
And it's just like very boring reality TV.
01:18:07
Speaker
It's like, you fancy a chat?
01:18:10
Speaker
Yeah, I fancy a chat.
01:18:11
Speaker
Oh, you feeling him?
01:18:12
Speaker
Yeah.
01:18:12
Speaker
It's just like very boring.
01:18:14
Speaker
But this guy, Bergie, was on the United States version.
01:18:19
Speaker
And he was so sweet, so nice.
01:18:21
Speaker
And I was like, oh, the Berg not going to get a girl because he's like a little, you know, awkward and different.
01:18:27
Speaker
But he finally did get a girl.
01:18:28
Speaker
I think her name is Taylor.
01:18:30
Speaker
And they're so cute together.
01:18:31
Speaker
But when I saw Phaedra, and I don't know the housewives thing, but I saw her tweet something about Bergie.
01:18:38
Speaker
I was like, what?
01:18:39
Speaker
Because that's hyper-alicious.
01:18:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:18:42
Speaker
And I was like, Phaedra, Bergie, what is this?
01:18:45
Speaker
And I was like, oh, oh, I'm watch this.
01:18:48
Speaker
So.
01:18:49
Speaker
But I did not see season one.
01:18:50
Speaker
I saw the season that was on there.
01:18:53
Speaker
That's so funny because I... How did I get into Traitors?
01:18:58
Speaker
Because I think someone maybe mentioned it.
01:19:01
Speaker
And I'm like chronically online.
01:19:02
Speaker
That's my problem.
01:19:03
Speaker
But someone had mentioned it online.
01:19:07
Speaker
And I was like, what the fuck is this show?
01:19:08
Speaker
And then I remember seeing the trailer for it because I love Alan Cummings.
01:19:12
Speaker
And I was like, I don't know...
01:19:17
Speaker
I was like, I kind of want to watch the show just because it looks good.
01:19:20
Speaker
It looks interesting.
01:19:22
Speaker
And I like him.
01:19:23
Speaker
And so I was like, let me give this a shot.
01:19:28
Speaker
And so I'm the kind of person where I will have to start with...
01:19:33
Speaker
Season one before I can even like move on.
01:19:37
Speaker
Not even I mean, this show is not a show where you have to do that.
01:19:40
Speaker
You don't have to.
01:19:43
Speaker
But it was very interesting, I think, watching season one and then going back to or then, you know, going into season two, because season one had.
01:19:54
Speaker
have celebrities have regular people and then season two had all celebrities or well not celebrity people that were like on these other game shows and reality shows yeah and that was interesting because like some of the people like i knew bergy i knew ct and bananas from like the challenge bananas got on my fucking nerves
01:20:17
Speaker
But when I saw bananas, I was just like, why?
01:20:20
Speaker
Like he has been on the challenge.
01:20:22
Speaker
I mean, CT's been on the challenge for a while too, but I just feel like he, there was one season of the challenge where he, I think it was girl, Sarah.
01:20:29
Speaker
I forget if they had to be partners.
01:20:30
Speaker
I think it'd be partners or frenemies that are partners or whatever through the whole thing.
01:20:35
Speaker
And at the end, if you and your partner won, like depending on who got to the goal first or who had the most points or in the game, you can decide if you want to split the money with your partner or take it off for yourself.
01:20:45
Speaker
Right.
01:20:46
Speaker
Sarah worked so hard to get her and Bananas to where they had to go.
01:20:50
Speaker
Johnny Bananas took the money.
01:20:52
Speaker
I said, that's supposed to be your girl.
01:20:55
Speaker
He just took the money.
01:20:56
Speaker
Oh, shit.
01:20:58
Speaker
So basically they pulled the same thing kind of sort of with... See, and that's the thing because I don't watch all of these reality shows.
01:21:05
Speaker
So I just, I'm like, I don't know who these people are.
01:21:08
Speaker
Like I'll hear names.
01:21:10
Speaker
Like I don't watch the Housewives stuff at all, really.
01:21:14
Speaker
I just kind of know based on what people tell me or I hear on social media or whatever it is.
01:21:20
Speaker
But like the fact that like, what was that girl's name?
01:21:25
Speaker
It was CT and...
01:21:28
Speaker
Was it Rochelle?
01:21:30
Speaker
Yeah, like who were the... Trishel.
01:21:34
Speaker
Oh!
01:21:36
Speaker
Nothing's falling.
01:21:40
Speaker
But CT and Trishel with them...
01:21:46
Speaker
Stealing the prize from or like hoarding it all for themselves and not splitting it with MJ was essentially.
01:21:54
Speaker
It was crazy.
01:21:56
Speaker
It was crazy.
01:21:57
Speaker
And then I'm so mad that Trishel was her name.
01:22:01
Speaker
I'm mad that she lasted that long because the way she did Peppermint.
01:22:04
Speaker
From the start.
01:22:06
Speaker
Yes.
01:22:08
Speaker
And see, that was my thing, too.
01:22:09
Speaker
Like from the start, like she was the one that was the reason why Peppermint was eliminated.
01:22:15
Speaker
Right.
01:22:16
Speaker
And started all this stuff.
01:22:17
Speaker
Always like putting her nose and stuff and like just skate it on through.
01:22:22
Speaker
Skate it on through.
01:22:24
Speaker
I thought it was just crazy how I thought it was crazy to like the housewives like we all got to stick together this or that.
01:22:31
Speaker
And then they sort of were like backstabbing one another at the same time too.
01:22:36
Speaker
And then what was her girl's name?
01:22:37
Speaker
Pavardy?
01:22:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:22:41
Speaker
Parvati?
01:22:42
Speaker
Parvati.
01:22:42
Speaker
I keep calling her whatever the cheese is called.
01:22:45
Speaker
And then the girl, who was the last girl that they added as the traitor Kate?
01:22:55
Speaker
She just went rogue.
01:22:57
Speaker
Yeah, she really did.
01:22:59
Speaker
And see, that was the thing that when people... Because she was in season one.
01:23:04
Speaker
Oh.
01:23:06
Speaker
And that was the thing that I thought that people knew there was a season one because...
01:23:11
Speaker
her coming back on the show was essentially like very scandalous because of the fact like her season one performance was she really just didn't give a fuck at a certain point because everyone thought she was a traitor.
01:23:27
Speaker
So the whole time they're just like, they're like, okay, it's a traitor.
01:23:30
Speaker
Kate's a traitor.
01:23:31
Speaker
And she's like, I'm not a fucking traitor.
01:23:32
Speaker
And then like, she would throw challenges just so that she would try to get, they would try to eliminate her.
01:23:43
Speaker
oh okay okay that makes sense now and then she made it pretty far and then they were like oh you're not what did they eventually what she was like i'm not a traitor and then they found out that she wasn't i mean i'm spoiling it but um uh you know you do want to go back and watch season i won't tell you the winner is but okay um i will just say that like that was that whole thing like she was in season one and then she came back and then um
01:24:13
Speaker
she got to be a traitor this time around, which kind of, I really would have rather her maybe a state of fateful.
01:24:21
Speaker
Um, but I think it was interesting just to like, see her in the role versus then season one.
01:24:29
Speaker
Yeah.
01:24:30
Speaker
Interesting.
01:24:30
Speaker
OK.
01:24:31
Speaker
Yeah.
01:24:32
Speaker
Let's see.
01:24:35
Speaker
What else was I going to just kind of talk about with the.
01:24:42
Speaker
Do you have a favorite trader?
01:24:45
Speaker
A favorite trader?
01:24:46
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:24:50
Speaker
I want to say, I've liked Dan.
01:24:53
Speaker
What's his name?
01:24:54
Speaker
Right.
01:24:55
Speaker
Was Dan and Phaedra the first ones?
01:24:58
Speaker
I liked Dan a little bit at first, but then I felt like he was getting a little messy.
01:25:05
Speaker
So I would say Phaedra because, you know, she would come in, do the killings, be like, this bacon a little limp.
01:25:15
Speaker
And keep it pushing.
01:25:18
Speaker
And, you know, at the end.
01:25:20
Speaker
Go ahead.
01:25:20
Speaker
No, go ahead.
01:25:21
Speaker
And then at the end of the day, regardless of like, you know, who she liked, did not like, she stood up for her show family, which I did appreciate.
01:25:30
Speaker
I did appreciate that.
01:25:31
Speaker
She was like, what we're not going to do is talk about other housewives and put them down and try to say this, this or that.
01:25:36
Speaker
No.
01:25:37
Speaker
Yes.
01:25:38
Speaker
Chater and I, I stick with my family.
01:25:40
Speaker
Yes, I do love that about her.
01:25:42
Speaker
And I was like, it eventually, I mean, it kind of got hard for her.
01:25:46
Speaker
And I mean, that's the thing about the show.
01:25:47
Speaker
It's like it gets hard eventually when you are, when it gets to a numbers thing.
01:25:53
Speaker
And it starts to be a thing of like, all right, now, like, who can be a traitor and who can't?
01:25:59
Speaker
And that's why I think season one was really good because season two was a little bit more,
01:26:07
Speaker
how can I say this?
01:26:08
Speaker
It was a little bit more messy in the sense of a lot of them were going based off their like thoughts and their feelings.
01:26:21
Speaker
I mean, they kind of do that in season one too, their thoughts and feelings.
01:26:24
Speaker
Right.
01:26:25
Speaker
But if you watch season one and you're like, obviously we know who the traitor is and they're like, oh yeah, I know this person is a fateful, like hearts, like hands down.
01:26:35
Speaker
And the whole time,
01:26:37
Speaker
Like to just skate through, like as, you know, people thinking that this person was a faithful the whole time.
01:26:44
Speaker
Like the twist when the, you know, other faithfuls find out, they are just like, how could you do that?
01:26:52
Speaker
And it's like, well, it is a game.
01:26:54
Speaker
It is a game.
01:26:55
Speaker
It is.
01:26:55
Speaker
It is.
01:26:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:26:57
Speaker
Yeah.
01:26:58
Speaker
I think for my favorite was probably Phaedra as well.
01:27:04
Speaker
And I just think that Phaedra, it's mainly because I thought that she was just pretty hilarious.
01:27:10
Speaker
And the fact that she was just like at the round table, just, you know,
01:27:21
Speaker
Just being herself.
01:27:22
Speaker
You know what I mean?
01:27:23
Speaker
And so I think that initially I could see how people were like, I don't know if she's a traitor or not because this is how Phaedra just is.
01:27:30
Speaker
Right.
01:27:30
Speaker
Just kind of unbothered.
01:27:32
Speaker
I'm here.
01:27:33
Speaker
Don't put my name in your mouth kind of thing.
01:27:35
Speaker
Like normal.
01:27:36
Speaker
She's like, I'm just coasting through.
01:27:38
Speaker
I'm playing this game with y'all.
01:27:39
Speaker
I like that she and CT had a little showmance.
01:27:42
Speaker
I did not expect that.
01:27:43
Speaker
I didn't expect that either.
01:27:45
Speaker
Oh, and that was the other thing I will say.
01:27:47
Speaker
In season one, two...
01:27:50
Speaker
I mean, I'll say versus season one and season two.
01:27:53
Speaker
Like, season two, they eliminated a lot of the good players that could have, like, did the challenges.
01:27:58
Speaker
The challenges?
01:27:59
Speaker
Okay.
01:27:59
Speaker
Yeah.
01:28:00
Speaker
Like, when I feel like when it got to the end, when it was basically CT just, like, running around, like, doing everything.
01:28:06
Speaker
Like, it wasn't like that in the first one.
01:28:09
Speaker
Okay.
01:28:10
Speaker
That makes sense.
01:28:11
Speaker
I feel like the games are a little... Like, I feel like if you have a game that involves, like...
01:28:19
Speaker
running around swimming and doing all this stuff.
01:28:24
Speaker
Having someone like John on there is a little, like not to be.
01:28:33
Speaker
I was like, I know they don't have this old, this old man on here running like this.
01:28:37
Speaker
Right.
01:28:38
Speaker
Then he had asthma, but didn't have asthma.
01:28:41
Speaker
Oh my God, dad.
01:28:42
Speaker
Yes.
01:28:43
Speaker
I was like, sir, which is it?
01:28:45
Speaker
Yeah.
01:28:46
Speaker
That's why I was like, oh, the challenges can't be too crazy because you have a mixed bag of people, people who seem to be very high maintenance.
01:28:53
Speaker
And then when I saw the first tale, I just said, oh, this is like those other games.
01:28:57
Speaker
What are they?
01:28:58
Speaker
When you do the challenge to challenge, people prep in the gym, they make sure they're ready, their endurance is up.
01:29:05
Speaker
This one, I was like, oh, y'all just...
01:29:07
Speaker
showed up they just showed up and that was also the wild part about it because of the fact that um i'm like do any of the housewives give that like all of the house none of the housewives give like um ready they can like ninja warrior exactly like none of them give that like none of them no um they're all pretty much like you know
01:29:34
Speaker
They're more, they're better at the, I think they are better at the, the trader part of the game, the actual like that part, but like the actual physical challenges.
01:29:44
Speaker
I'm like, no.
01:29:47
Speaker
Nope.
01:29:49
Speaker
Yeah.
01:29:49
Speaker
I didn't like that.
01:29:50
Speaker
They eliminated a lot of the like agile players that could have won some of those challenges.
01:29:57
Speaker
Right.
01:29:57
Speaker
Cause they needed those to get that money.
01:29:59
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:30:01
Speaker
Yep.
01:30:03
Speaker
Do you have a favorite faithful?
01:30:06
Speaker
Okay, now I can say Bergie.
01:30:09
Speaker
Okay.
01:30:09
Speaker
because I love Bergy in Love Island.
01:30:11
Speaker
I think he's just such a sweet person.
01:30:12
Speaker
I feel like he really came into his own because on Love Island, he was just like, yeah, this awkward person did not like conflict, didn't really like stand up for his own boundaries all the time.
01:30:23
Speaker
And people like, I felt like took advantage of him, but he already felt like he started to like stand up for himself, come into his own.
01:30:30
Speaker
So it was like nice to see him next.
01:30:32
Speaker
I think Bergy's like a nice, a sweet person.
01:30:33
Speaker
Okay.
01:30:35
Speaker
Yeah.
01:30:36
Speaker
I don't know if I have a favorite faithful because, and this is going to be real crazy, but I feel like every season so far I've been rooting for the traitors.
01:30:49
Speaker
Of course.
01:30:52
Speaker
I've just been rooting for the traitors because there's something that is like so, I don't know, like lying is hard.
01:31:02
Speaker
You know what I mean?
01:31:03
Speaker
And so I feel like
01:31:06
Speaker
if you have to lie from like day one and, you know, up until the end.
01:31:12
Speaker
And I kind of empathize with that a little bit.
01:31:14
Speaker
Cause I'm like, it is a game.
01:31:16
Speaker
Like, it's not like, this is just like some like real life thing where, you know, we find out you betrayed us, but it's something about the, having a target on your back and like trying to do the mental gymnastics to make yourself seem innocent, like at all times.
01:31:32
Speaker
And I'm the kind of person where I,
01:31:36
Speaker
can blend well and like, you know, make people think like maybe I'm not a traitor or whatever, but it would be hard when it gets down to the end and people were like, well, who is the traitor?
01:31:49
Speaker
It has to be somebody.
01:31:50
Speaker
And then you just gotta like put up these like pretenses of like, and that's why I, that's, that's why I did value like season one because like that shit was,
01:32:01
Speaker
hard for um one of the traders really so yeah it is really it was really hard um and i do kind of like the fact that in the first season they did have a split of regular people like they had people in there that were just like i'm a policy analyst or um yeah yeah
01:32:20
Speaker
I feel like that.
01:32:20
Speaker
And then they also had, like, Kate, who was from lower deck or below deck.
01:32:29
Speaker
Yeah.
01:32:29
Speaker
And so they did have her on there, too.
01:32:35
Speaker
But there is something about that.
01:32:36
Speaker
I feel like that is... As a fateful, like, I feel like you have to really...
01:32:45
Speaker
pay attention to the things people are saying and doing.
01:32:48
Speaker
And I feel like that can be a little easier if you start to put things in context and figure it out.
01:32:55
Speaker
But as a trader, like when it comes down to the end, I always just want the traders to kind of like...
01:33:05
Speaker
And then it also is like a shock.
01:33:06
Speaker
There's that shock of like, wow, I didn't know it was you.
01:33:10
Speaker
Yeah.
01:33:11
Speaker
Like that was that's the I think that's the fun part of it.
01:33:15
Speaker
And then, you know, people's emotions get attached.
01:33:17
Speaker
And I feel like maybe that's why they did that for season two, where they just was like, well, we're not going to have regular people because.
01:33:23
Speaker
Yeah.
01:33:23
Speaker
Because because, yeah.
01:33:25
Speaker
Well, it's emotional.
01:33:26
Speaker
Right.
01:33:27
Speaker
Did you see the reunion?
01:33:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:33:29
Speaker
No, I didn't see the reunion.
01:33:31
Speaker
Okay, it wasn't.
01:33:32
Speaker
That's one thing I missed.
01:33:33
Speaker
Okay.
01:33:34
Speaker
You're not missing nothing.
01:33:35
Speaker
I didn't expect it was going to be bad for that kind of show.
01:33:38
Speaker
I was like, oh, maybe.
01:33:39
Speaker
I mean...
01:33:40
Speaker
I feel like... And also Andy Cohen hosts it.
01:33:43
Speaker
I'm just kind of... Oh, yes.
01:33:46
Speaker
Yeah.
01:33:46
Speaker
Like, it's not... How can I say this?
01:33:48
Speaker
It's not... It's like, you should watch it.
01:33:51
Speaker
It's not one of those things where I feel like you have to have to watch it.
01:33:54
Speaker
But MJ was, like, still harboring, like, feelings from, you know... Oh, my gosh.
01:34:02
Speaker
Because she was just like, how could you do that?
01:34:04
Speaker
And they're just like, girl, it's a game.
01:34:06
Speaker
It's a game.
01:34:07
Speaker
We don't sign up for this.
01:34:08
Speaker
Like, I don't know.
01:34:09
Speaker
It's a game.
01:34:10
Speaker
That's why in terms of like being like a faithful or traitor for me, I feel like I would,
01:34:18
Speaker
I get what you mean by you're rooting for the traitors.
01:34:22
Speaker
I think I was rooting for the faithfuls because you want to be the good guys.
01:34:25
Speaker
But if I were on a show, that show, I think I would be a traitor because I just have to make sure to cover my tracks.
01:34:33
Speaker
I feel like being a faithful, you have to not be accused of being a traitor, but also stand out enough to whoever the supposed traitors are so that you're not kicked off.
01:34:45
Speaker
Yes.
01:34:45
Speaker
I feel like that's harder to do than just being like, I have the ability to kill people off.
01:34:50
Speaker
But like, because I'm the kind of person, like I think in most of my jobs, I've been able to like talk to this side of people and talk to that side of people.
01:34:57
Speaker
Maybe now it's a little different, but I've always sort of been like the middleman for most people.
01:35:02
Speaker
So I feel like in this situation, I can pretend to be the middleman, but no one would suspect that I'm the murderess.
01:35:09
Speaker
Right.
01:35:10
Speaker
And that's the thing.
01:35:11
Speaker
It's like, I think I'd rather be a traitor too.
01:35:15
Speaker
Because at least in the beginning...
01:35:18
Speaker
if you're able to create alliances that are like really strong and you're able to create, or at least have a, have a team of people where you're just like, Oh yeah, we're all faithful.
01:35:29
Speaker
It's like, and then it gets down to the wire.
01:35:32
Speaker
I think that's where it starts to get down to the wire and you're like, well, who could it be?
01:35:36
Speaker
And it's almost like you have to align yourself with a faithful to, as a trader and know like that someone is a faithful and like trustworthy for them to have your back and you have to have their back.
01:35:47
Speaker
Yeah.
01:35:48
Speaker
Right.
01:35:48
Speaker
Right.
01:35:49
Speaker
Exactly.
01:35:50
Speaker
And then like just like listening to people at this where my investigative journalism will come in, listen to people, take stock in what they say.
01:35:57
Speaker
So you get to the round table.
01:35:58
Speaker
It's like, oh, well, if this is what the herd is saying, I don't be a herd mentality.
01:36:02
Speaker
But you also can't stand out too much either.
01:36:06
Speaker
Yes.
01:36:07
Speaker
And you're right about that.
01:36:08
Speaker
You have to do active listening.
01:36:11
Speaker
I feel like that's what happened with Dan, I think, when people start suspecting him because they're like, you don't say anything.
01:36:17
Speaker
You don't offer anybody up.
01:36:19
Speaker
And that's where it gets dangerous.
01:36:20
Speaker
And the same thing with Phaedrus.
01:36:22
Speaker
People are dying.
01:36:23
Speaker
People are getting killed off.
01:36:24
Speaker
And you sit here talking about breakfast.
01:36:25
Speaker
Girl.
01:36:26
Speaker
Girl, right.
01:36:26
Speaker
That was the funny part about Phaedrus.
01:36:30
Speaker
She'd be like, hmm.
01:36:33
Speaker
And then she'd be like, yeah, so pass me the jelly.
01:36:36
Speaker
And it's like, girl, like we just, like we're talking about the fact that we don't know who's going to come downstairs or like we're just talking about somebody just got murdered off and you just like, well, pass me that coffee over there.
01:36:48
Speaker
Right.
01:36:49
Speaker
Like you got to pretend like to be a little more invested.
01:36:51
Speaker
So you can't be over invested with like, why are you so fake?
01:36:55
Speaker
You did not like that person.
01:36:56
Speaker
Why are you so shocked?
01:36:56
Speaker
Oh my God.
01:36:57
Speaker
There's a part that what happened, um,
01:37:01
Speaker
I'm like, I was trying to think.
01:37:02
Speaker
I think it was season one.
01:37:05
Speaker
Yes.
01:37:05
Speaker
Oh my God.
01:37:06
Speaker
There was a part that happened in season one where, uh, someone basically like gave themselves away.
01:37:12
Speaker
Um, cause you know, like basically, well, basically, yes, gave themselves away because what happened was the, I'm just going to kind of just go through it really quickly, but like the person, uh,
01:37:27
Speaker
So you know how when Kate got enlisted, like when she came in as a faithful and then they enlisted her.
01:37:33
Speaker
So they did the same thing in season one where they enlisted someone.
01:37:39
Speaker
And the person that they enlisted did take it.
01:37:45
Speaker
Like they did.
01:37:47
Speaker
It was a person that did become a traitor.
01:37:49
Speaker
But one of the other traitors was like...
01:37:53
Speaker
oh, I got a note last night about, you know, becoming a traitor.
01:37:58
Speaker
And like, I said no.
01:38:01
Speaker
And then everyone's like, well, why would you say that?
01:38:03
Speaker
Like, why, like, why would you bring that up?
01:38:07
Speaker
Where's the note?
01:38:08
Speaker
Like, you don't have the note on you.
01:38:11
Speaker
And so everyone was looking at him sideways.
01:38:13
Speaker
And then even the traitors was like, girl, we gotta get you out of here.
01:38:16
Speaker
Because
01:38:16
Speaker
Because why would you do that?
01:38:19
Speaker
Because you did it to yourself.
01:38:20
Speaker
Right.
01:38:21
Speaker
You say nothing.
01:38:22
Speaker
Nobody knows anybody got a note.
01:38:23
Speaker
Nobody knows that there's a new trader at it.
01:38:26
Speaker
Just like keep it on the hush hush.
01:38:28
Speaker
Yes.
01:38:28
Speaker
So it was one of those things where it was just like, girl, like you messed up.
01:38:33
Speaker
Yeah.
01:38:35
Speaker
I love season one.
01:38:35
Speaker
I feel like people just I don't know.
01:38:37
Speaker
I think people didn't like the regular people.
01:38:40
Speaker
But I'm also like someone that doesn't I'm not too into celebrity or like I don't.
01:38:46
Speaker
Yeah.
01:38:47
Speaker
reality thing and I mean it was it you know it was hard for I think it was harder for them being like regular people from everyday like walks of life to come on a show like this and have the stakes be so high or feel that high no I agree there's another show on Netflix I forget what it's called but it's
01:39:11
Speaker
Kind of similar where everybody has money in a prize pot.
01:39:16
Speaker
And if everyone, if like you all decide not to eliminate people, like you all get to vote.
01:39:21
Speaker
And if like one person is voted out, then they're eliminated.
01:39:24
Speaker
And so then the prize money, the prize pot gets bigger.
01:39:26
Speaker
She's played with less people, but it's all regular people.
01:39:31
Speaker
And like this one guy was a cop and he said he was a stripper.
01:39:34
Speaker
And so, cause he didn't want people to think that he was a cop because they were like, oh, but we'll vote him off because he's going to be too strategic or whatever.
01:39:40
Speaker
And then he got voted off the first night anyway.
01:39:42
Speaker
He's like, I'll trust him.
01:39:43
Speaker
He'll hope.
01:39:44
Speaker
Blah, blah, blah.
01:39:45
Speaker
Like, oh my God.
01:39:47
Speaker
But it was like this weird thing of like, but you didn't know who voted who off either.
01:39:51
Speaker
Okay.
01:39:52
Speaker
So this weird thing of like, now you have to figure out who voted these people off because everybody's saying they didn't vote, but someone clearly had to vote.
01:40:00
Speaker
And yeah, I think you'll
Reality TV: Motivations and Dynamics
01:40:01
Speaker
like that because all regular people.
01:40:02
Speaker
I'll find out the name of it.
01:40:04
Speaker
Okay.
01:40:04
Speaker
All right.
01:40:04
Speaker
I need to watch that.
01:40:07
Speaker
I don't watch anything really like a love island or love is blind or anything like that.
01:40:11
Speaker
Cause I just feel like people sometimes get on that show just to, just for clout.
01:40:18
Speaker
And it feels like they just do this thing of like trying to one up people or like be like really shady and catty and have their like moment, their internet moment.
01:40:28
Speaker
That's going to be a video that gets uploaded online versus then actually like trying to find
01:40:35
Speaker
The one.
01:40:38
Speaker
Yeah.
01:40:39
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's weird.
01:40:41
Speaker
Yeah.
01:40:42
Speaker
I feel like people say that people who are on reality TV are either trying to promote their brand or business or just want to become a reality star.
01:40:52
Speaker
And those are the only two, which I feel sometimes I'm like something like the circle.
01:40:57
Speaker
I'd like, I would love to go in the circle.
01:40:58
Speaker
That feels like a really fun game.
01:41:00
Speaker
Yeah.
01:41:00
Speaker
You become like sort of internet famous, but it's not the same as like,
01:41:05
Speaker
super into your personal life, personal business, whatever else, like a love is blind or love Island or married at first sight.
01:41:13
Speaker
One of those things.
01:41:14
Speaker
But I have like, part of me is like, all right, Vince, we need to go on one of those shows.
01:41:19
Speaker
We both apply for love is blind.
01:41:22
Speaker
All our friends and family have amnesia.
01:41:24
Speaker
There's no pictures of us.
01:41:25
Speaker
We meet each other in the pods.
01:41:27
Speaker
We've like, oh my gosh, your voice sounds so nice.
01:41:30
Speaker
We meet, we get married, the show pays for a wedding.
01:41:33
Speaker
we get on TV, we get famous, and then that's it.
01:41:36
Speaker
And then you guys are like, oh, wow, they're such a good couple.
01:41:40
Speaker
You'd have never imagined.
01:41:41
Speaker
That would be wild, honestly.
01:41:45
Speaker
That would be very wild.
01:41:47
Speaker
I'd be like, I guess I would have amnesia, so I would be like, oh, I never met this person who I've known for like
01:41:55
Speaker
years like whoa that's crazy like a lot of blind spots in my memory yeah i remember going to this thing but i don't remember this person being there it's just like a shadow yeah okay
01:42:12
Speaker
um i don't know if i had any other questions about the uh the traitors um i guess what would you say though would be like your favorite because you know how the episodes are kind of structured they you know come in uh they have breakfast they find out that someone didn't make it down um then they you know alan comes in and you know throws their picture and
01:42:35
Speaker
talk some shit about about the person i always felt kind of bad because i'm like damn he's talking about them like crazy and i'm like i mean they're not really dead but right the one time when he was like let bygones be bygones by god i said oh i was like oh
01:42:53
Speaker
Yikes.
01:42:53
Speaker
It's just so vicious.
01:42:55
Speaker
And then they kind of have a, you know, they do a game and then, I mean, there's some downtime and then eventually they have the round table.
01:43:03
Speaker
What would you say is like your favorite part of like the episode?
01:43:08
Speaker
Excuse me.
01:43:09
Speaker
I think for me, I like the games and the challenges that like withdraws me to a lot of those sort of shows.
01:43:14
Speaker
Like even like Love Island has sort of like challenges.
01:43:17
Speaker
They're not really great challenges, but I like the challenges the most because it's like, oh, it's exciting.
01:43:24
Speaker
It's interesting.
01:43:25
Speaker
High stakes.
01:43:25
Speaker
These people are not physically fit.
01:43:27
Speaker
Some of them probably can't swim.
01:43:29
Speaker
Like, so that's really interesting and see how they like, do they choose to like go for the team and get money for the team or
01:43:34
Speaker
Or they choose to lose money out of the prize box or trying to get a shield to save themselves.
01:43:39
Speaker
That's always interesting, too, because in that, like, kind of put your light blinders on to be like, hmm, is one of you a traitor?
01:43:45
Speaker
And you're trying to pretend not like it's interesting.
01:43:49
Speaker
Right.
01:43:49
Speaker
Yeah.
01:43:50
Speaker
So I feel like that.
01:43:51
Speaker
Oh, sorry.
01:43:52
Speaker
No, no, no.
01:43:52
Speaker
Oh, no.
01:43:54
Speaker
I was just going to say really quickly about the shield thing, because you like triggered something in my memory.
01:43:59
Speaker
That was also the other thing about season one versus season two.
01:44:02
Speaker
The shields didn't get introduced until later.
01:44:05
Speaker
Oh.
01:44:05
Speaker
So when they first started out, they did not have shields.
01:44:09
Speaker
That's better, I feel like, because, like, you're really, like, all in together.
01:44:14
Speaker
And then once you have a little bit of drama, now you're trying to pick and choose how do you want to save yourself?
01:44:20
Speaker
Do you want to?
01:44:20
Speaker
Yeah.
01:44:21
Speaker
That's interesting.
01:44:21
Speaker
That's what I agree.
01:44:23
Speaker
And I feel like with the shield, because it was like everyone was just like, all right, I'm going to run for the shield.
01:44:26
Speaker
And it's like, okay, like, that's very suspicious.
01:44:29
Speaker
Right.
01:44:30
Speaker
Right.
01:44:30
Speaker
It's like, yeah.
01:44:32
Speaker
Yeah, no, I like when they introduced the shields later.
01:44:36
Speaker
And it made sense because as the game starts to get harder, I guess it starts to there starts to be more there's less people, you know, there's more chances of, you know, someone being a traitor than not.
01:44:50
Speaker
It makes sense to have shields for later because in the beginning, you're just kind of voting someone off because of just some weird thing they said.
01:44:58
Speaker
Yeah, right.
01:44:59
Speaker
Yeah, right.
01:45:01
Speaker
So yeah, I like that.
01:45:01
Speaker
And I like the round table too, because it's interesting to see people because it's like that game, like, what is it mafia or whatever those games are?
01:45:09
Speaker
It's like if that reminds me of that, like sitting at home with like your friends and like trying to figure out who actually is like the wolf or who's like the person who's like going to murder you all.
01:45:18
Speaker
And seeing like all it's just weird how and maybe it's different because they're celebrities.
01:45:23
Speaker
It felt like some people were using strategy.
01:45:26
Speaker
when they're trying to rally up the troops.
01:45:28
Speaker
It was interesting how the one group of people called themselves, I think it was Sandra, called them the leftovers, which I think is an ode to Big Brother when they coined themselves the leftovers because they're whatever.
01:45:40
Speaker
But seeing the alliances...
01:45:44
Speaker
um i don't know what i'm trying to say seeing the alliances being like built but a lot of it i feel like it's still like based off of emotion and when they got down to the table was just like a lot of emotion it's like where is the strategy like the whole thing with peppermint and that girl like that was like the start of it where i felt like everybody was just being emotional and i can't remember the guy's name but one of the was it peter
01:46:08
Speaker
One of the guys is like, I'm not going to vote for Peppermint.
01:46:10
Speaker
I'm going to vote for this person because they actually make me think that they're a traitor or not trustworthy, but Peppermint didn't do anything.
01:46:17
Speaker
Like, y'all are just being emotional.
01:46:19
Speaker
And I felt like over time, it was just like, well, I don't like them or they're doing this and I don't like it.
01:46:25
Speaker
So I think they're a traitor.
01:46:26
Speaker
So I want to vote for them.
01:46:27
Speaker
But it wasn't like actual, like, I listened to what they said here and it feels like this or they're always in this section here.
01:46:33
Speaker
They're always going for the shield.
01:46:34
Speaker
Yeah.
01:46:36
Speaker
Yeah.
01:46:37
Speaker
Yeah, that is a very valid point.
01:46:40
Speaker
And that's what made me mad about Peppermint.
01:46:43
Speaker
I wonder if they're going to bring her back for season three.
01:46:46
Speaker
Like the way I wish they were Kate.
01:46:48
Speaker
Yeah, I would want them to because I want to see more of her.
01:46:53
Speaker
And I don't know.
01:46:54
Speaker
I feel like it could be a thing because I mean, Alan is part of the community.
01:46:59
Speaker
So I'm like, fingers crossed, bring her back.
01:47:01
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
01:47:02
Speaker
And I felt like, I don't know.
01:47:03
Speaker
I just felt like it was really...
01:47:06
Speaker
I don't know that woman, Trishel, but it felt very transphobic how she just singled out Peppermint.
01:47:12
Speaker
It was just for no reason going to say, oh, I said you might be a traitor and you got all up in arms and crazy.
01:47:17
Speaker
It's like, no, she just made a face like, why would you say that?
01:47:21
Speaker
Anybody would kind of like scrunch their face up and be like, what?
01:47:24
Speaker
That's weird.
01:47:25
Speaker
Right.
01:47:26
Speaker
And for her to run it to the ground was like, why are you picking on her?
01:47:29
Speaker
And then the one challenge, I also feel bad for Peppermint, the one challenge where they were getting the scarecrows or whatever.
01:47:36
Speaker
The things were and things like who were who's the most famous Peppermint or whoever the other guy was.
01:47:40
Speaker
I did not know.
01:47:40
Speaker
I still know his name.
01:47:42
Speaker
I was like, I don't know who this man is.
01:47:44
Speaker
I know Peppermint.
01:47:45
Speaker
I know who Peppermint is.
01:47:46
Speaker
And that's the crazy part.
01:47:47
Speaker
Like, that's the one.
01:47:49
Speaker
I don't even watch anything like Drag Race or I'm not like super tapped into drag culture in that way.
01:47:56
Speaker
And I'm like, I don't even know who this person is.
01:47:59
Speaker
And the fun thing, I only have only seen one season of Drag Race, and that was when Peppermint was on.
01:48:05
Speaker
And I was like, oh, it's Peppermint.
01:48:06
Speaker
But I've never, but I've seen Peppermint and other stuff before.
01:48:09
Speaker
This person, this band?
01:48:10
Speaker
No.
01:48:12
Speaker
I didn't know who he was.
01:48:12
Speaker
And that was so crazy because everybody was like, oh, yeah, it's definitely him.
01:48:16
Speaker
I can't remember his name.
01:48:18
Speaker
And everyone was like, it's definitely him.
01:48:21
Speaker
And then Peppermint's like, y'all going to see.
01:48:24
Speaker
And y'all had to go back.
01:48:26
Speaker
Your old group, too.
01:48:28
Speaker
Every other group said, oh, it's Peppermint.
01:48:29
Speaker
It's Peppermint.
01:48:30
Speaker
Your old group, though.
01:48:32
Speaker
Like, the group she was in, I was, like, so mad.
01:48:34
Speaker
Yeah.
01:48:36
Speaker
Yeah, I think that they need to... Two things is they need to bring back the split cast because it gets too clicky.
01:48:43
Speaker
It starts to get too clicky of like, we're all in the same show.
01:48:48
Speaker
Like, I don't like that.
01:48:50
Speaker
I think that they need more diversity and who comes in.
01:48:57
Speaker
And then also too, like, just being mindful of like, this is a show where people get active.
01:49:02
Speaker
Like, y'all can't be...
01:49:04
Speaker
Like, if you're going to be on there, like, I don't think you should discriminate against people based on, like, their, like, size or their age or anything like that.
01:49:12
Speaker
But I just kind of feel like if y'all going to compete in challenges where you just coming out a helicopter or you are, you know, running through this forest or whatever, it would be nice to see everybody on the same page of, like...
01:49:32
Speaker
I don't know, like, love being able to complete challenges.
01:49:35
Speaker
If you got people, like, just waiting on the shorelines, like, just like, go, you know, so-and-so, and it's like, well, you're not doing anything.
01:49:42
Speaker
Exactly.
01:49:44
Speaker
Exactly.
01:49:44
Speaker
And I feel like on, like, the, maybe it's a challenge, but everyone there is more physically fit, but on certain shows, you know,
01:49:50
Speaker
It's like there's like a puzzle element.
01:49:52
Speaker
And so people are like, OK, you do the puzzle part while we do like the hard labor.
01:49:57
Speaker
And I guess if the challenge is broken up that way, then people who are less able bodied to do some of the more physically exerting stuff, they could do the mental stuff.
01:50:06
Speaker
But I don't know what happens if you're.
01:50:08
Speaker
not mentally there and not physically there.
01:50:11
Speaker
Right.
01:50:11
Speaker
No, my, listen, my biggest, I'd have been doing everything.
01:50:15
Speaker
I'd have been like, oh, we getting this money.
01:50:18
Speaker
Cause I mean, if I listen, no one, like a lot of people don't notice, but we went on this wild, crazy hike.
01:50:26
Speaker
Um, and it was, I did stuff I never thought I would ever do.
01:50:31
Speaker
So I'm like, if I could literally pull my body up
01:50:36
Speaker
over to get from the bottom, like basically if I can pull myself up a cliff and get to the next landing and if I can tread across boulders and avoid falling all the way down to the bottom, I'm like, I can do these challenges.
01:50:55
Speaker
Yeah, no.
01:50:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:50:57
Speaker
That's true.
01:50:58
Speaker
And that's why I think, like you said, it's probably better to have regular people and not celebrities because it's like, sure, anyone wants money.
01:51:05
Speaker
no matter what, but like they already have money.
01:51:06
Speaker
They already have a platform.
01:51:08
Speaker
I think it's more at stake when they're everyday people.
01:51:12
Speaker
Cause like that money will really make a, really make a difference.
01:51:14
Speaker
And like you were saying too, like having alliances based on shows that you've been on the same thing is like, because they're in a celebrity world, there may be like some beef they have either through meetings, each other one time, or if they don't like this one thing they said to someone else.
01:51:30
Speaker
So yeah.
01:51:30
Speaker
Right.
01:51:31
Speaker
And I don't really want to see all that.
01:51:33
Speaker
Like, I don't want to see, like, I mean, if you have your beef, whatever, but like, it'd be, it's just nice when it's like a fresh cast that doesn't really have much interaction.
01:51:44
Speaker
Like you take a, you know, celebrity from here, you take a normal person from here, you take a celebrity or person that's been on a reality show from here and just like mix it all up.
01:51:53
Speaker
And it makes it,
01:51:54
Speaker
Interesting, because like even as like people in the first season, I'll say like they the like regular people were just able to be like, oh, I know this person from this show and this is how they acted on the show.
01:52:06
Speaker
Right.
01:52:07
Speaker
And then having the people that have been like, oh, I already had I've been on a challenge show before, like.
01:52:14
Speaker
I can, you know, easily do this and have that whole thing just kind of like transpire in that way.
01:52:22
Speaker
So I definitely I'm interested to see what season three is going to be like.
01:52:26
Speaker
And I just hope that they take some notes from both seasons and put together an even like better season.
01:52:34
Speaker
Yeah.
01:52:35
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
01:52:37
Speaker
All right.
01:52:39
Speaker
Really quickly, before we kind of get into the, we start wrapping it up and winding down to the final thought, my 600-pound life, do you think there will be another season?
01:52:49
Speaker
Not my 600-pound, sorry.
01:52:51
Speaker
1,000-pound sisters.
01:52:52
Speaker
1,000-pound sisters?
01:52:53
Speaker
Yes.
01:52:53
Speaker
Do you think there will be another season?
01:52:56
Speaker
I would hope so to see a lot of Tammy's transformation.
01:53:02
Speaker
And I feel like I've been hearing a lot about Amy is sort of like Amy is sort of where Tammy used to be or was.
01:53:11
Speaker
Yeah.
01:53:11
Speaker
Really?
01:53:12
Speaker
I feel like she was dating somebody else.
01:53:15
Speaker
I started dating someone else after the divorce with Michael.
01:53:17
Speaker
And the guy wasn't really that great of a person.
01:53:20
Speaker
This is why I saw social media.
01:53:21
Speaker
It wasn't that great of a person.
01:53:22
Speaker
I think I saw this too.
01:53:23
Speaker
He was like partying, drinking, whatever else.
01:53:27
Speaker
I can't really tell how much more weight she's lost since this season ended.
01:53:32
Speaker
But Tammy, I feel like it's doing a really good job.
01:53:34
Speaker
And I would love the show to keep going so that Tammy can get enough money from the show to get the...
01:53:40
Speaker
Skin removal surgery.
01:53:41
Speaker
Because I would love to see what she looks like after that.
01:53:45
Speaker
Much like Vanessa from Thousand Pound Best Friends.
01:53:49
Speaker
I think.
01:53:50
Speaker
Did you watch that show?
01:53:51
Speaker
She lost a lot of weight and she looks really good.
01:53:53
Speaker
So that's the comeback too so that she can get money to get the skin removal.
01:53:59
Speaker
But I don't know.
01:54:00
Speaker
I hope so.
01:54:01
Speaker
Speaking of Thousand Pound Best Friends, I don't even know if that show came back on.
01:54:06
Speaker
I don't think so.
01:54:07
Speaker
I don't think so.
01:54:08
Speaker
It just came in wit.
01:54:10
Speaker
That's wild because like she was losing a lot of weight and I was invested in their friendship a little bit.
01:54:19
Speaker
Okay.
01:54:20
Speaker
Interesting.
01:54:22
Speaker
We have to look out for that because like I definitely not getting a rating of 5.9 out of 10.
01:54:31
Speaker
Well, maybe that's why.
01:54:33
Speaker
But it's funny because if you say.
01:54:36
Speaker
I thought it was good too.
01:54:37
Speaker
But it's funny because when you search 1,000 pound best friends, Vanessa's Instagram is like the first thing that pops up.
01:54:43
Speaker
Oh, really?
01:54:44
Speaker
Yeah.
01:54:45
Speaker
Yeah.
01:54:46
Speaker
She look good.
01:54:48
Speaker
Yeah, and that's so crazy because she was like the biggest out of them all and really hunkered down and did it.
01:54:54
Speaker
And I'm looking at the rest of them like, what are y'all doing?
01:54:57
Speaker
Like the one girl that got married and moved into the other friend's house and her husband didn't have a job.
01:55:05
Speaker
Yes, oh my God.
01:55:07
Speaker
And they got mad that her friend needed to kick her out because the relationship was going down.
01:55:11
Speaker
Was suffering.
01:55:14
Speaker
Yes.
01:55:15
Speaker
When they were in that hotel and the kids.
01:55:17
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:18
Speaker
That whole thing was a mess.
01:55:19
Speaker
Like, honestly, what was her name?
01:55:22
Speaker
Tina?
01:55:23
Speaker
Tina.
01:55:23
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:24
Speaker
Tina.
01:55:24
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:25
Speaker
She was like stressed.
01:55:26
Speaker
Like, she was like, I don't know if.
01:55:31
Speaker
Like, I can be friends with this woman anymore, but she was acting really childish and.
01:55:37
Speaker
Yes.
01:55:37
Speaker
Doing a lot.
01:55:38
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:40
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:55:41
Speaker
Well, I'm hoping for a season three, two, because I just really want to see what happens with Tammy as well.
01:55:48
Speaker
I think I sent you a photo the other day about her and how much weight she lost.
01:55:53
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:53
Speaker
Because she had a bathing suit on.
01:55:55
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:55:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:56
Speaker
I follow her on TikTok.
01:55:58
Speaker
So I'll see her stuff sometimes too.
01:56:00
Speaker
But she looks so... That's how I want to see what happens if she gets... Because I know she has like a lot of extra... Like in her legs.
01:56:06
Speaker
It looks like there's a lot of extra skin there.
01:56:08
Speaker
So I would love to see what she looks like without it.
01:56:11
Speaker
But she looks so much older now that she lost a lot of weight too.
01:56:15
Speaker
Like in her face.
01:56:17
Speaker
Because I feel like she's only a couple years older than us, right?
01:56:19
Speaker
They're in their 30s.
01:56:21
Speaker
I thought.
01:56:21
Speaker
I don't know.
01:56:23
Speaker
I thought she was older than that.
01:56:25
Speaker
Oh.
01:56:27
Speaker
hold on we have to figure that out uh so yeah because she's 37 oh shit i didn't know that tammy yes currently started the show they were sharing their age i was like they're not that much older than us damn that's yeah amy is 36 yep
01:56:50
Speaker
Wow.
01:56:52
Speaker
Okay.
01:56:54
Speaker
I'm shocked.
01:56:55
Speaker
Because I thought they were definitely in their 40s.
01:56:58
Speaker
No.
01:56:59
Speaker
I mean, no shade, but they literally look like they are in their 40s.
01:57:07
Speaker
Yeah, I think this Tammy definitely looks older.
01:57:13
Speaker
But I feel like...
01:57:16
Speaker
Yeah, I would love to see what it would, you know, skin removal will look like.
01:57:22
Speaker
I would love to see.
01:57:23
Speaker
Because isn't she also, well, she, rest in peace to her husband, Caleb.
01:57:32
Speaker
But I'm interested to see, like, how she's doing after that, because that was pretty significant.
01:57:39
Speaker
And...
01:57:43
Speaker
I sometimes wonder with reality TV, was their marriage real, real?
01:57:48
Speaker
Or was it like play real?
01:57:51
Speaker
What was it?
01:57:52
Speaker
Yeah.
01:57:55
Speaker
Yeah.
01:57:56
Speaker
No, I agree.
01:57:57
Speaker
That's how I feel like watching even Sister Wives right now.
01:58:00
Speaker
Some of it's like how much of these are actual real drama, real conversations, or how much it is prompted by the producers.
01:58:12
Speaker
and the thing i like about one thousand pound sisters i will say is that it is like even though it is scripted and like you know they are kind of coming up with things to do it's one of those shows where it's not like i like that it's not the drama is not always super high stakes like i like when they are doing stupid stuff like less like you know
01:58:36
Speaker
randomly go to do this exercise class where we're going to be bungee jumping like left and right or we're going to go do like apple picking today or something just like really like random and goofy because it feels more relatable like right yeah watching it than to watch a show where like housewives where it's like this feels like i would never know what this i don't know what this is like right now because like i don't have money and i'm not on a show with a bunch of people being shady
01:59:05
Speaker
Yes.
01:59:06
Speaker
Yeah.
01:59:06
Speaker
But it's like different when it's like your friends or your family and you're on a show together and you have to like.
01:59:14
Speaker
You have to be entertaining and you have to be or like at least interesting enough or relatable enough, you know, to keep to keep your audience.
01:59:21
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
01:59:23
Speaker
Mm hmm.
01:59:25
Speaker
Okay.
01:59:25
Speaker
All right.
01:59:26
Speaker
Well, let's move into the final thought segment.
01:59:29
Speaker
And I wanted to just talk about our friendship.
01:59:33
Speaker
And we've been friends for 18 years.
01:59:39
Speaker
That is wild.
01:59:40
Speaker
Yeah.
01:59:40
Speaker
Yeah.
01:59:43
Speaker
thing
Career Day: Engaging with Students
01:59:44
Speaker
that's crazy at first i wanted to kind of just like you know before we even talk about friendship i wanted to talk about career day um and what that was like for both of us uh you are like the audience doesn't see but like you are shaking your head right now um and i think that that is like so funny and it'll be uh very interesting i think to talk about
02:00:08
Speaker
your thoughts and my thoughts on it.
02:00:12
Speaker
I guess leading into it, what were your thoughts going into career day?
02:00:17
Speaker
So I thought so because I went with my boss to a career day at a school, granted she was late.
02:00:23
Speaker
So she didn't like participate with all the students.
02:00:25
Speaker
But when she got to the when she finally got there, we went to the classroom.
02:00:30
Speaker
She had like maybe like five, 10 minutes to talk about what she did.
02:00:33
Speaker
And then the kids had a lot of questions for her.
02:00:35
Speaker
So it's more like question, answer, conversational thing.
02:00:39
Speaker
But like they all sat down together.
02:00:41
Speaker
So it's like more of like an intimate conversation.
02:00:43
Speaker
Again, it was just her.
02:00:45
Speaker
This, I thought, okay, we both said, can we do work together?
02:00:48
Speaker
So I thought it was going to be that.
02:00:49
Speaker
I thought we would go see only alumni.
02:00:53
Speaker
And then we get to the classroom, have like a couple minutes to describe like what we do, X, Y, Z. And you also have a little bit more teacher involvement.
02:01:03
Speaker
And then like the students will have like questions for us.
02:01:07
Speaker
And like either they all have to participate in asking a question, but they have a list that they go off of.
02:01:13
Speaker
So there's no like awkward pauses.
02:01:15
Speaker
And I expected it to be sort of like a, these are the people that went to this school.
02:01:21
Speaker
This is what they do now.
02:01:23
Speaker
You can go to this school and then be like them or greater.
02:01:26
Speaker
But what happened was not that.
02:01:28
Speaker
It was very much not that.
02:01:32
Speaker
No, it was very much.
02:01:33
Speaker
Yeah.
02:01:34
Speaker
Yeah, it was nothing what I thought either.
02:01:36
Speaker
And I think that going in together, being, you know, friends that have that went to the same high school and we thought that we might be seeing more of our classmates, our peers.
02:01:49
Speaker
It's like maybe one other person I think we saw that was in the same grade as us.
02:01:53
Speaker
Our classes, I'll say that when we were going there and.
02:01:59
Speaker
I don't know how I felt about that.
02:02:01
Speaker
I was like, did anyone else not get the memo or was no one else free?
02:02:05
Speaker
Right.
02:02:06
Speaker
Yeah.
02:02:06
Speaker
And that was what was confusing to me because if I knew that I was going to be alumni and then quote unquote friends of Odin, I might not have done it.
02:02:16
Speaker
Right.
02:02:18
Speaker
And I think also if I knew I was going to be paired with somebody who was not an alumni, but just a friend of somebody from the World Affairs Council,
02:02:24
Speaker
I also wouldn't have done it because it kind of, it changed how we wanted to talk about things.
02:02:29
Speaker
You're a partner with like two other people, not just the one, but two other people, grants today work for the same company.
02:02:37
Speaker
But it's like, I feel like it took up time to like really explain like our stories.
02:02:42
Speaker
You know, your friend was talking about, guess my age, get this prize.
02:02:46
Speaker
Don't even, don't do that.
02:02:50
Speaker
Don't do that.
02:02:52
Speaker
Your friend.
02:02:53
Speaker
Don't do that.
02:02:55
Speaker
I feel like they only partnered me, they partnered them with us because they work for the airport in the city.
02:03:01
Speaker
But that didn't make sense to me because there was someone else who was there who I saw towards, I talked to at the end, who works for a council member also.
02:03:08
Speaker
So I'm like, it would make more sense.
02:03:11
Speaker
The guy, we were talking to Miss McKay.
02:03:13
Speaker
And we're taking a picture of her and the guy took the picture of us.
02:03:16
Speaker
He works for Isaiah Thomas as his legislative director.
02:03:19
Speaker
And I was like, oh, you work for council?
02:03:20
Speaker
He's like, yeah.
02:03:21
Speaker
He's like, oh, I do too.
02:03:22
Speaker
So we're like talking.
02:03:23
Speaker
And I was like, well, why didn't I get partnered with him?
02:03:26
Speaker
Right.
02:03:26
Speaker
That made more sense.
02:03:28
Speaker
Right.
02:03:29
Speaker
Like we could talk about, you and I could talk about like, you know, helping people, the more like direct service stuff.
02:03:33
Speaker
And he could help people through legislation.
02:03:36
Speaker
But I don't know.
02:03:38
Speaker
I thought it was strange.
02:03:40
Speaker
That was very strange.
02:03:43
Speaker
The irony of being in a group with someone that I did was also very jarring for me.
02:03:55
Speaker
Someone that didn't even go to my high school.
02:03:58
Speaker
And like that whole thing was weird.
02:04:01
Speaker
Like I don't even I'm like in my brain, like how much of that do I want to talk about?
02:04:05
Speaker
How much do I not?
02:04:06
Speaker
But I just want to just say that that whole thing was wild.
02:04:09
Speaker
I did not expect that.
02:04:11
Speaker
No.
02:04:12
Speaker
The universe is on some weird stuff.
02:04:15
Speaker
It was an earthquake that saved A2.
02:04:16
Speaker
Oh my God.
02:04:18
Speaker
It was the earthquake.
02:04:19
Speaker
It was then an eclipse a few days later.
02:04:23
Speaker
It just was a lot going on at the beginning of April.
02:04:26
Speaker
Yeah.
02:04:28
Speaker
Do you feel like...
02:04:32
Speaker
I mean, having done it, I know we kind of talked about like it not being what we wanted it to be, but having done it now, do you feel like.
02:04:44
Speaker
Do you like how do you feel about it now, like that we did it, it came, it went, we've had some time to sit on it.
02:04:52
Speaker
I think for me, it helped me in terms of public speaking and really thinking about what it is that I do, being proud of it, and learning how to talk about what I do.
02:05:03
Speaker
But in terms of having an impact on the kids, I don't think we really have the opportunity to do that because...
02:05:10
Speaker
The way we described our... The time that we had to describe our jobs and what we did was very small versus I think it was just the two of us.
02:05:18
Speaker
We could really go into this high school.
02:05:20
Speaker
We went to college, do this.
02:05:21
Speaker
That's what our lives are like.
02:05:23
Speaker
Now we're doing X, Y, Z. And so I don't really...
02:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, I don't really think it gave me a platform to really inspire the students that well.
02:05:34
Speaker
I feel like they were interested in like, oh, you travel, you're on an airplane.
02:05:39
Speaker
Oh, that's cool.
02:05:40
Speaker
They didn't care about what we did.
02:05:41
Speaker
They didn't care about what the other guy did was stocking the airports with toilet paper.
02:05:44
Speaker
They did not care about that.
02:05:45
Speaker
They didn't care about none of that.
02:05:47
Speaker
No.
02:05:47
Speaker
Because he was, what did he say?
02:05:49
Speaker
He was like a procurement director or something.
02:05:53
Speaker
Yeah.
02:05:54
Speaker
I was like, first of all, these kids don't know what that is.
02:05:56
Speaker
Like they don't know what that means.
02:05:59
Speaker
Like that.
02:05:59
Speaker
I'm sorry.
02:06:00
Speaker
They don't.
02:06:02
Speaker
And I think that it's interesting being a, because the way I think I went into it, I was just kind of like, all right,
02:06:11
Speaker
I'm not going to have this set like thing I'm going to talk about with like, cause we're going to go to different classrooms.
02:06:16
Speaker
So I know I'm not going to have a set thing to talk about because I feel like ninth grade, like being 14 is way different than being like 18.
02:06:25
Speaker
So, you know, it's, you're going to be at a different point.
02:06:29
Speaker
So I feel like if you kind of get a sense of what grade you're going into and then having, okay, like I can be like, okay, this is ninth grade.
02:06:38
Speaker
Like, let me just see, like,
02:06:40
Speaker
What they're what they want to get out of this.
02:06:41
Speaker
You know what I mean?
02:06:42
Speaker
Like, what do I feel like might be important, like where their head is at?
02:06:46
Speaker
And then going to like maybe a junior class or senior class being like, oh, you guys, you know, going to college, like, what are you guys thinking of?
02:06:55
Speaker
Um, yeah.
02:06:56
Speaker
After you graduate, like, here's some things that you might want to know, like, you know, you're not going to have it all figured out right now.
02:07:03
Speaker
So don't even worry about that.
02:07:05
Speaker
Like, I just feel like going in and like having a strategy for each grade felt important to me knowing, like, you know, having studied, uh,
02:07:15
Speaker
you know, Eric Erickson's stages of development and, you know, all of these different things and like social work and psychology school about, you know, youth and the way the brain works and things like that, where I'm like, I'd rather y'all just ask me questions here in this ninth grade classroom because I don't know what I'm gonna tell y'all.
02:07:33
Speaker
Exactly.
02:07:34
Speaker
Yeah.
02:07:34
Speaker
And that's, I felt that too.
02:07:36
Speaker
So I feel like,
02:07:37
Speaker
Like sort of like even like with work, it's like I don't just go to people being like, I'm giving you this.
02:07:42
Speaker
This is what you get from me, whatever else.
02:07:44
Speaker
Like, no, I'm always actively listening and sharing based off what I think is important and relevant to them.
02:07:48
Speaker
And I wish that even if we had like chairs or schools to sit at the front of the classroom, something where it just felt a little less, a little less formal.
02:07:58
Speaker
And we could like really just have a conversation like, oh, what do you got?
02:08:01
Speaker
Like you said, like, what do you want to study or.
02:08:03
Speaker
How excited are you to be in high school now?
02:08:05
Speaker
What do you think about XYZ?
02:08:06
Speaker
What are your ideas for life?
02:08:08
Speaker
And then we can have a conversation on that and then say, oh, well, I did this or I did XYZ versus it being like, I'm in this job.
02:08:16
Speaker
This is what this job means.
02:08:17
Speaker
This is what I do.
02:08:18
Speaker
Because a lot of kids don't know what that is.
02:08:19
Speaker
They don't know what that looks like.
02:08:21
Speaker
They're just talking about the process to get there.
02:08:23
Speaker
Mm hmm.
02:08:25
Speaker
And I kept asking them, I was like the senior kids, I kept asking them, like, did you guys get your like, are you guys getting your letters back saying whether or not you had admitted to school?
02:08:33
Speaker
And I'm like, did anyone not do early admission anymore?
02:08:37
Speaker
Because I was confused, too.
02:08:39
Speaker
It's like they should at least know by then.
02:08:42
Speaker
Right.
02:08:42
Speaker
Because I feel like this in April.
02:08:44
Speaker
Exactly, because I feel like when we were in high school, we had some ideas of what we either got into or didn't get into.
02:08:52
Speaker
And a lot of the rest of the year was kind of focusing on the IB test.
02:08:59
Speaker
Right.
02:09:00
Speaker
Right.
02:09:00
Speaker
And you make your.
02:09:01
Speaker
But yeah, it's weird.
02:09:02
Speaker
Then we started applying in like November.
02:09:05
Speaker
Yeah.
02:09:06
Speaker
Yeah.
02:09:06
Speaker
So I was a little confused, too.
02:09:08
Speaker
I didn't know.
02:09:09
Speaker
Mm hmm.
02:09:10
Speaker
Because I'm like, you need to know how much money in scholarships you're going to need.
02:09:13
Speaker
Exactly.
02:09:13
Speaker
All of this and that.
02:09:15
Speaker
Right.
02:09:15
Speaker
Because you have to make it a skip.
02:09:16
Speaker
Because school's about to be done in like a month or so.
02:09:19
Speaker
Yes.
02:09:19
Speaker
So I was like, what's going on?
02:09:22
Speaker
Yeah, it was a little weird.
02:09:24
Speaker
Yeah, it was a little weird.
02:09:26
Speaker
And then I will just say, too, like.
02:09:29
Speaker
These kids these days are just like doing anything like they just don't care.
02:09:35
Speaker
Hoodies on.
02:09:37
Speaker
The AirPods in the ears is what got me.
02:09:39
Speaker
That, listen.
02:09:40
Speaker
That would not have flew.
02:09:43
Speaker
No.
02:09:43
Speaker
Even at work, if a constituent comes into our office and say I'm listening to something, try to get work done, I take both out just out of one respect.
02:09:52
Speaker
But two, it just looks unprofessional to have that.
02:09:53
Speaker
It does.
02:09:54
Speaker
Even if I pause it to talk to them, it's like, no, take them both out, put them in the thing.
02:09:58
Speaker
But being in school, what do you do?
02:09:59
Speaker
What?
02:10:00
Speaker
Right.
02:10:01
Speaker
And the texting while like during, I was like, okay, I'm not going to be the one to tell these kids to put their phones away.
02:10:08
Speaker
Cause I'm like, if your teachers aren't even doing that, like I'm not going to care.
02:10:12
Speaker
Yeah.
02:10:12
Speaker
Y'all not going to care if I do it.
02:10:13
Speaker
So I'm not even going to ask.
02:10:16
Speaker
I just thought it was like surreal because again, this is like, we graduated 14 years ago.
02:10:24
Speaker
Oh my God.
02:10:24
Speaker
I
Friendship Dynamics and Loyalty
02:10:25
Speaker
feel so old.
02:10:28
Speaker
I feel so old to say, like, that's all weird.
02:10:30
Speaker
I was like, yikes, 18 years of friendship.
02:10:32
Speaker
That's a lot.
02:10:33
Speaker
That's a lot.
02:10:33
Speaker
Like, we literally became friends in ninth grade.
02:10:40
Speaker
But to just know that, like, these teachers are even on that wavelength of, like, you have to pick your battles with these kids.
02:10:47
Speaker
It's, I don't know how I feel about it.
02:10:49
Speaker
I feel like, on the one hand, we are in this world where, you know,
02:10:58
Speaker
Phones are a thing like we're super tapped in.
02:11:00
Speaker
We're super connected.
02:11:03
Speaker
I have a co-worker that talked about how she had to take her daughter's electronics away.
02:11:06
Speaker
And you would have thought like it was the end of the world, you know?
02:11:11
Speaker
Yeah, it was it was bad.
02:11:13
Speaker
And so it's going to be very interesting, I think, going forward, especially with Generation Alpha with.
02:11:22
Speaker
they don't know a time without technology.
02:11:24
Speaker
Yeah.
02:11:26
Speaker
And Gen Z is kind of sort of like that, but not really because at least Gen Z, like at least the nineties, late nineties portion and early two thousands portion, maybe can remember a time of like not having internet in the house or like not always having a phone or something like that because it was just becoming popular.
02:11:46
Speaker
But
02:11:48
Speaker
In 2010, like, everybody had a phone, like, basically.
02:11:51
Speaker
Yeah, it was, like, standard.
02:11:53
Speaker
It was, like, standard.
02:11:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's a little scary to see.
02:11:56
Speaker
Yeah, I'm curious to see how technology we use.
02:11:59
Speaker
And I don't know.
02:12:01
Speaker
I feel like there's, like, this equity issue, too.
02:12:03
Speaker
Because I think about, like, yeah, there's tech in all homes.
02:12:06
Speaker
But even now, like, not all homes have technology.
02:12:08
Speaker
Like, during the pandemic, I remember working with people who had kids at home.
02:12:13
Speaker
And they didn't have, like, the school sent them laptops.
02:12:15
Speaker
But they're, like, they don't have internet at home.
02:12:17
Speaker
So right.
02:12:17
Speaker
Are the kids supposed to do work or like I don't want to use a computer.
02:12:20
Speaker
So how can I help my kid with their homework at home?
02:12:22
Speaker
So, yeah.
02:12:23
Speaker
Curious to see what happens in a few years.
02:12:27
Speaker
Yeah, that is it is wild.
02:12:30
Speaker
But needless to say, I don't think like I mean, going to the high school and just kind of talking a little bit, I feel like was a good thing overall.
02:12:39
Speaker
Like I feel like.
02:12:42
Speaker
like I did my due diligence a little bit.
02:12:43
Speaker
Like, I'm like, okay, I went out and I'll talk to some kids about what I do and whether or not, like, you know, I feel like maybe there's one person that I impacted or like that felt, um, you know, connected or like in tune to like what I'm saying.
02:12:58
Speaker
I mean, it wasn't just one, but it was a couple, but you know, just the takeaway of it, of being able to provide wisdom to, um, kids that are, uh,
02:13:10
Speaker
you know, we're going to the same school, like having maybe similar experiences and knowing that, you know, we were teenagers at one time and what that was like.
02:13:23
Speaker
Right.
02:13:23
Speaker
Right.
02:13:24
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
02:13:26
Speaker
You know, what would you say in terms of like, so I just to give people backstory, like about our friendship and like how we met.
02:13:35
Speaker
Do you want to tell the folks how we met?
02:13:38
Speaker
Yes.
02:13:40
Speaker
MySpace.
02:13:42
Speaker
Yes.
02:13:43
Speaker
I think you, I guess, could you direct message on MySpace?
02:13:45
Speaker
Is that what it was?
02:13:46
Speaker
Or was it, I don't know, you shared on the wall.
02:13:48
Speaker
But Jerome was like, oh, I think we go to the same high school.
02:13:51
Speaker
Blah, blah, blah.
02:13:51
Speaker
I think I've seen you before.
02:13:53
Speaker
And I was like, I've never seen you.
02:13:54
Speaker
You're lying.
02:13:56
Speaker
And he's like, no, you sit here with these white kids.
02:13:59
Speaker
Blah, blah, blah.
02:13:59
Speaker
I was like, oh, we'll come over and say hi next time.
02:14:02
Speaker
And then that's.
02:14:03
Speaker
And that's how it went.
02:14:04
Speaker
I'll start it.
02:14:05
Speaker
That's how I went.
02:14:07
Speaker
Yeah.
02:14:07
Speaker
Because I came in by myself.
02:14:12
Speaker
Like I didn't come from another, like a school where any other, I had no other classmates that came to Bodine from.
02:14:18
Speaker
Yeah.
02:14:19
Speaker
So it was like, yeah.
02:14:22
Speaker
So it was like very much like, okay, this is a brand, brand new start where I don't know anybody.
02:14:27
Speaker
And I don't really know anybody.
02:14:32
Speaker
you know, getting teased in like middle school.
02:14:34
Speaker
Like, I don't know what this is going to be like here.
02:14:37
Speaker
So I just was kind of keeping to myself.
02:14:39
Speaker
And of course I was on my space, even though I wasn't supposed to be on my space.
02:14:42
Speaker
But yes, but, um, finding you on our school's
02:14:49
Speaker
like MySpace group page or whatever.
02:14:52
Speaker
And then being like, oh my God, there's another like emo kid at this school that's black.
02:14:56
Speaker
Like, let me talk to this person and like, you know, try to make a connection.
02:15:01
Speaker
I was like, let me just go ahead and not be shy and just do this thing.
02:15:05
Speaker
Yeah.
02:15:06
Speaker
Yeah.
02:15:07
Speaker
And so I, listen, it happened and I just feel like, yeah, we never really turned back.
02:15:18
Speaker
I mean, we had our little fights and stuff at the beginning.
02:15:20
Speaker
Yes.
02:15:21
Speaker
Yes.
02:15:22
Speaker
And it's very funny.
02:15:23
Speaker
One of my coworkers said to me one day, she was on the phone with me, and she's like, something, something.
02:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, because we're best friends.
02:15:28
Speaker
I said, girl, we are not best friends.
02:15:30
Speaker
We are a few.
02:15:33
Speaker
I said, you are a friend, not this.
02:15:35
Speaker
And she said, no, I said, I only have three best friends.
02:15:37
Speaker
I said, the one I've known for 18 years.
02:15:40
Speaker
Well, the one I've known for 30 years is my first best friend.
02:15:43
Speaker
The other one I've known for 18 years.
02:15:44
Speaker
And the last one I've known for seven years.
02:15:46
Speaker
And she was like, well, who was that?
02:15:48
Speaker
I said, Brittany, Jerome, and then she didn't know who the last person was.
02:15:51
Speaker
I was like, Vince.
02:15:52
Speaker
I said, but we all have gone through like
02:15:56
Speaker
You know, you had to like maneuver some hard periods, hard conversations, and then you still come out like being closer and like more dedicated to each other, more like committed to like them doing best, the best for themselves and you champion them, whatever else.
02:16:09
Speaker
I said, girl, we have not been doing anything like that.
02:16:13
Speaker
No.
02:16:13
Speaker
Like, you're not best friends.
02:16:15
Speaker
Like.
02:16:16
Speaker
There's a lot of give and take.
02:16:17
Speaker
Like I haven't had to rely on her.
02:16:19
Speaker
Not to say like you have to rely on people to be friends, but it hasn't gotten to that moment where like I've had to trust her with certain things for me as she had to trust me for certain things.
02:16:29
Speaker
So, yeah.
02:16:31
Speaker
Yeah, I think a lot of people do that best friend thing because of.
02:16:37
Speaker
maybe not having that connection, that level of connection to people in their real lives or like feeling like they're more connected than they actually are.
02:16:48
Speaker
Because like you said, if you go through a lot of stuff, like honestly, you can...
02:16:57
Speaker
and again it's like a thing of like going it's the going through things it's the you know having like maybe your disagreements your fights or um whatever and then just still like unconditionally coming back and being like this is my friend this is who i stand with like and you know at the end of the day um
02:17:19
Speaker
Cause even I think about it sometimes.
02:17:20
Speaker
And I think of like in these situations of when people like have families that are like, let's say for example, like a Jeffrey Dahmer or like a Ted Bundy, it's like, okay, like you, you have your family and your friends.
02:17:36
Speaker
And then it's like,
02:17:39
Speaker
It's hard to separate that.
02:17:42
Speaker
So I always think about it sometimes where I'm like, if I ever like, if Alexis ever like murdered somebody and I'm like, damn, that's my friend though.
02:17:51
Speaker
Like, what would I like, what would that be like for me?
02:17:54
Speaker
You know what I mean?
02:17:54
Speaker
It would feel like really hard.
02:17:57
Speaker
Yeah.
02:17:57
Speaker
Yeah.
02:17:58
Speaker
It's one of those things like, do I call the police?
02:17:59
Speaker
Do I whatever?
02:18:01
Speaker
That's not like if you do anything crazy, don't let me know.
02:18:03
Speaker
Don't tell me.
02:18:03
Speaker
Just don't tell me.
02:18:04
Speaker
I don't even know.
02:18:06
Speaker
Because I would have a hard time.
02:18:09
Speaker
Yes.
02:18:10
Speaker
Just like, don't even tell me because honestly, it's going to be a mess.
02:18:14
Speaker
Yes.
02:18:15
Speaker
What would you say is like your favorite thing about our friendships?
02:18:20
Speaker
I would say the evolution of it from like when we saw each other almost every day, talking every day.
02:18:27
Speaker
I feel like we text almost every day.
02:18:31
Speaker
I'm a little slower to respond sometimes because...
02:18:35
Speaker
You know, life be life in it.
02:18:36
Speaker
I'd be like, oh, I did not see that.
02:18:38
Speaker
My bad.
02:18:39
Speaker
Although, like, you're, like, the second bubble in, like, the thingy, the feature of 10 people.
02:18:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's, like, Vince, Vince, then you, my mom and my sister, are, like, the top three on my thing.
02:18:52
Speaker
And so sometimes, even with that, I'm like, oh, there's so many little texts on the thing.
02:18:56
Speaker
I don't know.
02:18:56
Speaker
I can't, whatever.
02:18:57
Speaker
But anyway, anyway, favorite thing is that I feel like we've evolved and grown together.
02:19:02
Speaker
And I think that we have a lot of trust in our friendship, which I don't really have with other people.
02:19:09
Speaker
Like, I feel like I could tell you things that are going on with my family, things that are going on my relationship and not feel judged by it.
02:19:16
Speaker
And if I'm doing wrong, you will gather me together.
02:19:20
Speaker
Yes.
02:19:21
Speaker
Like the name of the podcast.
02:19:23
Speaker
You will rip me up.
02:19:24
Speaker
Let me get you together.
02:19:25
Speaker
Yes.
02:19:25
Speaker
Yeah.
02:19:26
Speaker
So I really think that's my favorite thing is that I could be myself.
02:19:29
Speaker
Although I feel like I'm still shy in front of like, even like my mom and sister, even in front of Ben sometimes, I'm so shy about certain things, but I can be like goofy.
02:19:41
Speaker
I can be kind of stern.
02:19:44
Speaker
I could be.
02:19:45
Speaker
said and I think there's like no real like judgment and if there's judgment you'll tell me yeah girl you tripping no I agree I feel like our friendship is unique in that way where I struggle I know for me I personally struggle with connecting to other people mainly because of my trauma history and the way in which
02:20:12
Speaker
you know, like there'll be people who I'm like, oh, I consider them like a really close friend or, you know, we're like really close and, you know, this and that.
02:20:21
Speaker
And, you know, for things to happen where we just don't, we stop talking or stop talking as much.
02:20:27
Speaker
I'm like, did I do something?
02:20:29
Speaker
Like, what did I do?
02:20:30
Speaker
Or, you know, just tell me if I did something wrong.
02:20:34
Speaker
And I feel like you're the kind of person that does that.
02:20:37
Speaker
Like you are the kind of person that will be like,
02:20:40
Speaker
I don't like that you did this thing or I don't like that you did that.
02:20:43
Speaker
And I'll be like, oh, and that was a lot of what was going on initially in our friendship.
02:20:47
Speaker
I feel like we got all our fighting pretty much out the way.
02:20:49
Speaker
Yeah.
02:20:50
Speaker
But it was just some of the stuff that I would say and do.
02:20:53
Speaker
And I'm the kind of person where I'm not like, I think people think I might be
02:20:59
Speaker
intimidating or, um, or I come off as intimidating or like that I am, uh, going to be argumentative or combative or something like that.
02:21:10
Speaker
Now, unless it's like something where you are dead as wrong and I'm like, I know you wrong and I'm going to fight you on it.
02:21:16
Speaker
But if it's something like,
02:21:19
Speaker
you know, I don't like the way you said this, or I don't like that you did this thing, or don't make that joke because that joke is like inappropriate or something.
02:21:26
Speaker
Like I will be like, I'll think about it and I'll be like, okay, let me like,
02:21:30
Speaker
reevaluate, I might be mad in a moment.
02:21:33
Speaker
Like I might, you know, be mad, but I'll think about it and I'll say like, that person made a really good point.
02:21:38
Speaker
Like, I don't think that, you know, was a good way to present myself, you know, X, Y, Z. And I think that that is one of the things in our friendship where like you haven't just like abandoned me because of some stupid stuff I done said or did, you know what I mean?
02:21:57
Speaker
Yeah.
02:21:58
Speaker
And yeah,
02:22:00
Speaker
I'm such a person that's like very aloof or very, uh, imaginative.
02:22:09
Speaker
Like I think a lot, I think about a lot of things like very deeply and, you know, I'm also like balancing that with like the, uh,
02:22:18
Speaker
part of me that like loves to joke and loves to have fun.
02:22:21
Speaker
And sometimes I can be hard to not like be a space that's hard to navigate.
02:22:26
Speaker
Um, especially when you're going through stuff and you have things that are going on.
02:22:32
Speaker
But I'll also say you've been like there for me and like a lot of difficult like times in my life.
02:22:38
Speaker
And there are people that have been there, too, but they're not here now.
02:22:43
Speaker
And that is just very telling to me of like how close our friendship is, you know?
02:22:50
Speaker
Yeah.
02:22:51
Speaker
Yeah.
02:22:51
Speaker
That's that's very true.
02:22:52
Speaker
I think about that, too.
02:22:54
Speaker
Like people who aren't who were there but aren't here.
02:22:57
Speaker
And I feel like I have some friendships where.
02:23:01
Speaker
We still talk pretty regularly, but it's not like close.
02:23:06
Speaker
It just kind of like, it just feels like we're, this sounds mean, but it feels like we're friends because we've known, not you and I, but other people, like we've known each other for a long time.
02:23:15
Speaker
So it's just like nothing bad has happened, but we're also not, I don't feel like we're connecting together.
02:23:22
Speaker
well or getting deeper or anything.
02:23:23
Speaker
It's just like, oh, we have like the surface level friend.
02:23:26
Speaker
But like you and I don't have that.
02:23:27
Speaker
So it's interesting to see other friendships.
02:23:30
Speaker
Right.
02:23:30
Speaker
Like I don't feel as comfortable.
02:23:31
Speaker
I wouldn't like share secrets with and all that stuff.
02:23:34
Speaker
Right.
02:23:34
Speaker
Yeah.
02:23:35
Speaker
Because there's some friends where I'm like, I don't know if I can tell you this or if I feel like I think the older I'm getting, the more I'm becoming my discernment is growing and I'm starting to be like, how much of this do I tell someone versus how much do I not?
02:23:50
Speaker
And.
02:23:54
Speaker
when like big things happen, like a new job or, um, I don't know, like something exciting happens, like, you know, relationship wise or whatever.
02:24:04
Speaker
I'm like, I need to like text Alexis about this because it's on my mind, but I also can't like tell the entire world yet because of, um,
02:24:17
Speaker
you know, whether it's like not worked out, like all the things aren't ironed out or, you know, I'm just in a moment of like, this is really exciting.
02:24:26
Speaker
Like this is, you know, amazing, great.
02:24:28
Speaker
And I just need to kind of talk about it.
02:24:30
Speaker
I feel like,
02:24:31
Speaker
that's the benefit of like having a best friend.
02:24:34
Speaker
It's like, you are able to share any and everything and then not have that judgment or, you know, if it doesn't work out, then they're not going to be like, well, see, I told you so.
02:24:44
Speaker
Exactly.
02:24:45
Speaker
Yeah.
02:24:47
Speaker
It kind of reminds me too of like how, when before Vince and I were dating, we were just like in that, like before we were in a relationship, we were in the dating phase sort of.
02:24:56
Speaker
And he had like one of those shows at the sound hole,
02:25:00
Speaker
And I was like, Jerome, you need to come because you need to meet these people.
02:25:03
Speaker
You need to meet this man.
02:25:04
Speaker
I don't know.
02:25:04
Speaker
I need help.
02:25:05
Speaker
I need to have a walk about myself.
02:25:07
Speaker
And I was able to, I went, I was like, first of all, the sound hole was a fucking shit hole.
02:25:12
Speaker
A mess.
02:25:13
Speaker
Hole in the wall.
02:25:14
Speaker
A mess.
02:25:17
Speaker
But it was good, though, because I feel like you trusted me enough to be like,
02:25:24
Speaker
all right, here's this guy I'm interested in.
02:25:26
Speaker
Like, let me like bring my best friend to kind of vet this person, see what they're like.
02:25:31
Speaker
And I was like, oh yeah, it seems kind of cool.
02:25:33
Speaker
And like, you know, I mean, I feel like we were in our twenties.
02:25:38
Speaker
I'm like, it's not one of those things where I can like rag on your house because of like, we're all like in the same predicament.
02:25:44
Speaker
Like, I mean, yeah.
02:25:46
Speaker
we're all figuring things out.
02:25:47
Speaker
We're all 20 somethings.
02:25:48
Speaker
Like it's whatever you have to live with roommates.
02:25:51
Speaker
You have to do what you have to do to survive.
02:25:55
Speaker
But I was like, there is something interesting about this guy.
02:25:58
Speaker
And I'm like,
02:26:00
Speaker
okay, you know, he doesn't seem like he's going to, you know, have you out here looking crazy.
02:26:06
Speaker
So that was like my thing.
02:26:09
Speaker
I feel like my thing is when I, you know, meeting my friends or family, like their partners, I'm like, all right now, like, don't be out here.
02:26:20
Speaker
Cause I've listened.
02:26:21
Speaker
I remember growing up and seeing my mom with my stepdad and how that whole thing went down.
02:26:27
Speaker
And I just was like,
02:26:30
Speaker
uh like no so when i'm looking at people i'm like listening to like what they're saying looking at the things they're doing just being like present in the moment right and i was like okay this person is like pretty chill yeah and then when we weren't doing great you were like i ain't talking to him
02:26:49
Speaker
Yep.
02:26:50
Speaker
I was.
02:26:50
Speaker
Yep.
02:26:51
Speaker
And then I remember you and I gathered me up at Bush Gardens.
02:26:54
Speaker
You're like, why is he here?
02:26:56
Speaker
We did not want him here.
02:26:57
Speaker
I said, I'm so sorry.
02:26:58
Speaker
I tried to figure out my relationship.
02:27:01
Speaker
You all got me together.
02:27:03
Speaker
We got you together.
02:27:04
Speaker
But then I also look back on it now and I just remember.
02:27:09
Speaker
I remember being like annoyed, I think, because of the fact that.
02:27:15
Speaker
And this is, again, this is like being an outsider looking in.
02:27:18
Speaker
Like, you know, you get the tidbits of what's going on from the person you're talking to, but you don't actually know, like, oh, we talked about this and, like, we're working towards this.
02:27:28
Speaker
And, you know, as an outsider, you're going to be defensive of the person that you care about.
02:27:34
Speaker
You know what I mean?
02:27:35
Speaker
Right.
02:27:36
Speaker
Yeah.
02:27:36
Speaker
And so you're going to want the best for them.
02:27:38
Speaker
And so, you know, my thing is always just, like, I don't want none of my friends to be dogged out.
02:27:43
Speaker
Like, I don't want them...
02:27:44
Speaker
dogged out by no man or no woman, or I don't want them in an abusive situation or anything like that.
02:27:54
Speaker
And so I just always tend to... I'm very loyal in that regard.
02:28:02
Speaker
I'm just like, I'm not going to... What do you want me to do?
02:28:05
Speaker
I won't talk to this person.
02:28:06
Speaker
I'm not going to text them.
02:28:07
Speaker
I'm not going to...
02:28:08
Speaker
Think about that.
02:28:09
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean?
02:28:10
Speaker
Like, I'm just going to be like, ignore them and just kind of because I remember the one time I got when Vince did something and I was just like, I got in the car, didn't say bye to him.
02:28:21
Speaker
Because I was just like so mad that he did, you know, whatever he did.
02:28:28
Speaker
And I was just like, I'm not talking to you.
02:28:31
Speaker
And then eventually it worked out.
02:28:33
Speaker
Like, you know, eventually he earned trust back.
02:28:36
Speaker
And I was like, OK, like now.
02:28:39
Speaker
I feel like, okay, again, like, I feel like, you know, I'm able to kind of look at it of like, you know, people all make mistakes and, you know, nobody's perfect and people do deserve forgiveness.
02:28:51
Speaker
Like after a while when they've, you know, atoned.
02:28:54
Speaker
Yeah.
02:28:55
Speaker
Yeah.
High School Memories and Humor
02:28:57
Speaker
What do you feel like your favorite memory was from high school?
02:29:04
Speaker
Either our friendship or like a thing that you did.
02:29:06
Speaker
Yeah.
02:29:08
Speaker
Favorite high school memory.
02:29:10
Speaker
I remember one time it was your birthday and we were out on the side and I think me and Cindy or somebody made like cupcakes or something for you.
02:29:21
Speaker
That was like a nice time.
02:29:22
Speaker
I remember you shaved your mustache and I ragged on you and then you returned the favor of my bangs.
02:29:31
Speaker
Those bangs, I was like, why would she do that?
02:29:34
Speaker
My mom.
02:29:36
Speaker
It embarrassed me.
02:29:37
Speaker
First, she bleached my hair, then put a relaxer in it, hair falling out.
02:29:41
Speaker
Then I'm like, all right, I got that short, short haircut.
02:29:43
Speaker
I was like, sort of like a mullet.
02:29:45
Speaker
And then my hair started growing.
02:29:46
Speaker
And then I said, mom, I want beige.
02:29:48
Speaker
I said, say no more.
02:29:49
Speaker
I got you.
02:29:50
Speaker
And it was really small Egyptian bangs.
02:29:53
Speaker
And I was just like, this looks crazy.
02:29:57
Speaker
So embarrassed.
02:29:58
Speaker
That was so funny.
02:30:00
Speaker
The thing about the mustache is now that when I shave, it doesn't look that bad as it did then.
02:30:09
Speaker
I feel like, I feel like, cause I've grown into my face a little bit more that I feel like I still looks young.
02:30:16
Speaker
Like I will say it still looks young, but I felt like I look like a monkey.
02:30:21
Speaker
Like that's literally like when I look back on that time, I was like, I feel like I look like a monkey.
02:30:26
Speaker
Like, and that's not okay.
02:30:30
Speaker
Like, I don't know what it was.
02:30:33
Speaker
It was just like, it's just.
02:30:37
Speaker
It's something about it.
02:30:38
Speaker
I just felt like I looked like a monkey.
02:30:41
Speaker
And that was the way in which I felt about that.
02:30:43
Speaker
That is wild.
02:30:45
Speaker
And then I was just having to like cover my mouth and, you know, the whole thing.
02:30:49
Speaker
Yeah.
02:30:51
Speaker
Well, I guess I will say my last favorite thing is when you came out to me and I was like, I knew it.
02:30:56
Speaker
And I was like, it's my first gay friend.
02:30:57
Speaker
You know, I grew up real like crazy Christian.
02:30:59
Speaker
And so I remember you said, don't tell nobody.
02:31:01
Speaker
I went straight home.
02:31:02
Speaker
I said, mom, Jerome is gay.
02:31:04
Speaker
And she said- I'm screaming.
02:31:09
Speaker
Oh my God.
02:31:11
Speaker
You don't have to know.
02:31:12
Speaker
When they tell me don't tell anybody, I'm like, I won't.
02:31:15
Speaker
The person who's going to know for sure, my mom.
02:31:17
Speaker
Your mom.
02:31:18
Speaker
She knows everybody's secrets.
02:31:19
Speaker
Yeah.
02:31:20
Speaker
The one thing about it, and that's what I love about your mom.
02:31:22
Speaker
Like, she's like my third mom.
02:31:25
Speaker
But it's so funny because, like, she literally, you can tell her anything and she's going to be like, what?
02:31:32
Speaker
That's crazy.
02:31:32
Speaker
And then she's going to be like, okay, and I'll keep the secret.
02:31:36
Speaker
And then that's it.
02:31:38
Speaker
And then move on.
02:31:40
Speaker
And then still be like,
02:31:42
Speaker
just as nice.
02:31:43
Speaker
And like, I always felt like, and that was also another thing I think that kept our friendship really strong is like, I felt like really connected to your family because of the way in which, you know, my family, again, both our families were, you know, really Christian and things like that.
02:32:00
Speaker
Mine was a little bit more hardcore in the sense of like, I couldn't do shit on Saturdays and
02:32:06
Speaker
Stuff like that.
02:32:06
Speaker
My mom was just like really strict, but like, I felt connected because I'm like, wow, your parents know and they still don't like, they're not like, you can't be friends with them.
02:32:17
Speaker
Yeah.
02:32:18
Speaker
Cause I was kind of like, I don't care what you guys say.
02:32:20
Speaker
I got a gay friend now.
02:32:21
Speaker
I'm like, Jesus, you're crazy.
02:32:26
Speaker
And the funny thing is when I told the rest of the, like our friends in high school, like the rest of our circle, they were just like, okay, like whatever.
02:32:33
Speaker
And then I remember,
02:32:36
Speaker
High school was just really weird in that regard.
02:32:38
Speaker
Like when I kind of think back to it, being the only gay male, like cis male in our grade that was out.
02:32:48
Speaker
Like, I mean, I have some, my suspicions of a couple of people, but that's, you know, neither here nor there, but it was just like the constant, um,
02:33:00
Speaker
like the rumors or like the things that were going on in the background and like all throughout, I could just like, the one thing I knew was like, like,
02:33:10
Speaker
no one ever came up to my face and said anything or did anything crazy.
02:33:13
Speaker
But like the one thing at the end of the day, I was just like, I know that even in this group of like emo, you know, goth kids, whatever.
02:33:21
Speaker
Like I was like, I know I can, I can trust Alexis.
02:33:25
Speaker
Like that's end of the day.
02:33:27
Speaker
Like, I know that like we're friends, like we're good.
02:33:33
Speaker
Even if like, you know, we had a, had a moment, eventually we were able to kind of,
02:33:38
Speaker
you know, just kind of come back and, you know, be, um, be, uh, friends again, or like, you know, on each other's good side again.
02:33:49
Speaker
Um, yes, I feel like that's one of my, I think in terms of high school memories, I would, I will definitely say like the fact that you've like, you had my back through a lot and, um, um,
02:34:01
Speaker
How was, let me think, I think Senior Skip Day in particular.
02:34:04
Speaker
That was one of my favorite days where we were watching, what was we watching?
02:34:10
Speaker
We were in the auditorium watching those movies.
02:34:11
Speaker
Yes.
02:34:12
Speaker
Who did we leave with?
02:34:14
Speaker
Just us?
02:34:14
Speaker
I thought we met up with somebody.
02:34:15
Speaker
With Joe.
02:34:16
Speaker
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
02:34:17
Speaker
Yeah, that was one of my favorite days because, like, first of all, the graduation was happening and, like, they were, Paul was like, he don't give a fuck.
02:34:27
Speaker
No, he's in the movie.
02:34:29
Speaker
He did not care.
02:34:30
Speaker
He was just like, just tell him I'll let you go.
02:34:32
Speaker
Exactly.
02:34:33
Speaker
And we left.
02:34:34
Speaker
And then we went to, I think, did we go to Joe's house?
02:34:39
Speaker
I think so.
02:34:40
Speaker
I think so.
02:34:40
Speaker
Yeah, I think we went to his house.
02:34:43
Speaker
But then we also.
02:34:45
Speaker
We went to South Street.
02:34:46
Speaker
We went to South Street.
02:34:46
Speaker
Yeah, I remember that.
02:34:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's all I remember.
02:34:52
Speaker
That's all I remember.
02:34:52
Speaker
And I remember we were in the park on South Street, just like on the swings playing.
02:35:00
Speaker
I feel like we met up with some other people that Joe knew.
02:35:04
Speaker
Yes.
02:35:04
Speaker
Yes.
02:35:05
Speaker
That sounds familiar.
02:35:07
Speaker
And.
02:35:09
Speaker
Yeah.
02:35:10
Speaker
And that was a really good day just because I felt like.
02:35:14
Speaker
Well, one, it was a rebellious thing and I could have totally, if my mom found out, gotten very much in trouble.
02:35:20
Speaker
Yes.
02:35:20
Speaker
But it was like such a fun thing to do that just to skip and just, I don't know, just have fun with your friends.
02:35:32
Speaker
Yeah.
02:35:32
Speaker
Be free.
02:35:33
Speaker
We knew we were graduating.
02:35:34
Speaker
Yeah.
02:35:35
Speaker
That was a nice day.
02:35:37
Speaker
It's a nice ass day.
02:35:38
Speaker
Yeah.
02:35:40
Speaker
Alrighty.
Podcast Reflections and Farewell
02:35:41
Speaker
So I guess just to kind of wrap it up, do you have any final words?
02:35:48
Speaker
No, I'm very honored to have been on the pod.
02:35:52
Speaker
I hope that this was a great experience for you as it was for me.
02:35:57
Speaker
I'd love to come back when you're much more famous.
02:36:00
Speaker
You have sponsorships and ads.
02:36:02
Speaker
I want to be another...
02:36:03
Speaker
guests on the show um but no this is great um i feel like every time we could probably keep talking for another three hours we probably could i always say to vince every time joe and i talk it's just like i feel like after i dropped you off at career day and i kept saying like i gotta go do all this other stuff and i was like all right oh i guess i'll talk to you later and we just kept talking and i was like yeah i was like i just gotta go so
02:36:28
Speaker
Listen, and that's why I was like, I love having a podcast right now where I am able to, like, I don't have anybody like, like the thing about not having sponsorships right now is great is I can just kind of do what I want.
02:36:40
Speaker
I can talk as much as I want.
02:36:43
Speaker
I can ask the kind of questions I want to ask and I can do what I like.
02:36:46
Speaker
I love that creative freedom.
02:36:48
Speaker
So I will, of course, love to have you back on it on the show.
02:36:52
Speaker
That'll be so much fun again.
02:36:54
Speaker
I had so much fun today.
02:36:57
Speaker
as well.
02:36:58
Speaker
And yeah, you're right.
02:37:01
Speaker
Like if we honestly, cause I, we could just keep talking and just keep talking and talking and like people will be like, all right, I don't know if people are going to be interested or not, but we'll see, you know, we will see.
02:37:13
Speaker
And what would you just say, like in terms of, do you have, cause my final thoughts were just kind of talking about our friendship.
02:37:23
Speaker
Do you have any final thoughts?
02:37:25
Speaker
Really?
02:37:25
Speaker
Yeah.
02:37:28
Speaker
You're my best friend.
02:37:29
Speaker
You're a great friend.
02:37:31
Speaker
I'll see you tonight at BalletX.
02:37:33
Speaker
I will actually meet you at your house.
02:37:39
Speaker
Because I am going to something this afternoon that I will talk about on the podcast next week.
02:37:47
Speaker
I'm trying to decide actually when, you know, we'll talk about this off the air.
02:37:51
Speaker
Yes, you know, we'll talk about this off the air.
02:37:54
Speaker
Anyway, where can the folks find you if they want to find you?
02:37:58
Speaker
If you want people to find you, you can, if not.
02:38:02
Speaker
Yes, please find me.
02:38:03
Speaker
I'm very open.
02:38:05
Speaker
A. Wright Whitley.
02:38:07
Speaker
That's all together.
02:38:09
Speaker
A. Wright Whitley everywhere.
02:38:11
Speaker
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
02:38:12
Speaker
I don't tweet, but A. Wright Whitley.
02:38:15
Speaker
Period.
02:38:17
Speaker
And then, yeah, I guess that's it.
02:38:20
Speaker
If you guys want to find me, gather them pod at
02:38:25
Speaker
on x twitter um or gather them pod one instagram i always get them like see the thing for me is like i always want to say like switch the email and the handle so i want to be like write letters together than pod you know and then like leave it at that and then i'm like that doesn't help anyone
02:38:46
Speaker
Um, okay.
02:38:48
Speaker
And then if you want to find, if you do have letters, like if you, I mean, if you have letters, listener letters, um, any advice you need, any, um, I don't know, anything that you, your heart is weighing heavy on your heart.
02:39:01
Speaker
Like if you want to, I don't know, curse that bitch out at your job, like send me the letter.
02:39:06
Speaker
I would love to read it.
02:39:08
Speaker
Um,
02:39:09
Speaker
On air, you know, I'll change your name, whatever.
02:39:11
Speaker
You could send me a fake name.
02:39:13
Speaker
I don't care.
02:39:14
Speaker
Send those together to the pod at gmail.com.
02:39:17
Speaker
And yeah, this is it for the episode.
02:39:19
Speaker
It was so much fun.
02:39:20
Speaker
Thank you.
02:39:21
Speaker
I had so much fun.
02:39:23
Speaker
This is so great.
02:39:24
Speaker
All right.
02:39:25
Speaker
Well, I will talk to everyone next week.
02:39:28
Speaker
And I hope everyone has a good rest of the week and a good weekend.
02:39:33
Speaker
And I will see everyone next week.
02:39:36
Speaker
Bye.
02:39:36
Speaker
Bye.