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Transforming a Mess Into a Masterpiece
49 Plays7 months ago
In this episode of Wandering the Wild Mess, I share tips for finding gratitude amidst life’s chaos, learning to love yourself more, and letting go of frustration over things beyond your control. From small wins like buying myself flowers to big mindset shifts, I explore how embracing positivity and recognizing blessings can bring peace, even in the mess.
I’ll offer insights on slowing down, releasing what no longer serves us, and practicing self-love. The key takeaway? The power of appreciating yourself and the people in your life—and how gratitude can truly transform our lives.
Alexa, play "Humble and Kind" by Tim McGraw.
Stay Connected
- Website: www.wanderingthewildmess.com
- YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@utahgirlinnash
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherdyann
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@utahgirlinnash
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Transcript
Living the Dream
00:00:01
Heather Morgan
Okay, stop. Do this for me. Think for just one moment about that feeling when you're seemingly in the middle of something ordinary. And suddenly it hits you that you're living a moment that you once had really only hoped for.
00:00:23
Heather Morgan
Isn't that wild?
Podcast Introduction
00:00:26
Heather Morgan
Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy your hair. Well, hello. I wanted to keep this exciting and ah lighthearted this episode since I want to really touch on what it is this
Practicing Gratitude
00:00:50
Heather Morgan
week. It's a holiday week, Thanksgiving, lots to be thankful for. And as I'm connected with more people that listen, which I'm so grateful for, one of the biggest themes I get and so I want to hopefully share with y'all is just how
00:01:09
Heather Morgan
grateful I am for everything in my life and how people seemingly tell me that they're really happy to hear kind of a positive perspective on some things in life.
00:01:24
Heather Morgan
And I know there's a lot of positivity in the world I like to think, but the more that I really work through this whole new me and wandering this mess, I realized that the more that I heal and work on myself and and have empathy for other people and see different perspectives and talk to more people, I really realized that it's It's easy to say we're grateful, you know, cause we all, most of us, if you're listening, you're in your car. So you have a car, you have a job, you have a home, you are warm at night. You get to sleep in the bed. ah bed There's all these millions and millions of things we could list off that you're probably pretty grateful for, but we just kind of go through the motions and we don't really sit and go, well, I'm so grateful that I'm, I don't have to walk to work when it's 30 degrees.
00:02:24
Heather Morgan
and and Which is great to you know acknowledge that at a high level and then move on with your day.
Morning Gratitude Routine
00:02:31
Heather Morgan
But what I realize more and more that I get asked is how do you stay in that gratitude throughout the day?
00:02:42
Heather Morgan
because A lot of us realize that we may wake up and hopefully the first thing you do when you wake up is say the things you're grateful for. And if you don't do that, I highly recommend it. And guess what? No one has to know. So if it's a guy and you're like, I don't want to do that, it sounds cheesy. You don't have to tell anybody. Just open your eyes and be like, I'm grateful for my dog. I'm grateful for a fridge full of food. I'm grateful for you know the person I woke up next to, whatever it is.
00:03:13
Heather Morgan
It just really starts your day as this like, oh my gosh, look what I get to wake up to and do in my life kind of attitude. So that would be my first thing that I would say, set your day. I get to wake up. I get to feel this way. It just helps. But another thing I have been learning on my whole journey is a lot about just stopping in the moment and being so grateful.
A Story of Self-Love
00:03:43
Heather Morgan
just to be in it. And being alone like I have been, and when I say alone, I've made some great friends, but I've definitely been more alone and had more alone time than I ever had in my and entire life if I think about it. And I recall a time, which I hope you guys can put yourself in that place, you've been there, because I think it's just such a critical part of life when you can be somewhere, whether you're like,
00:04:11
Heather Morgan
on a tree stand or you're in getting a massage or a facial or for me, it was in the grocery store. I was literally in Kroger and I'm walking down the aisle and I decide to like buy myself flowers. And I put them in the car. And as I'm just pushing my cart down the aisle and I have like a few things in those flowers in the car,
00:04:40
Heather Morgan
I just start crying. Of course, I know this is a theme, but I'm just crying these like tears of joy because I like love myself enough to want to buy myself flowers. And I know maybe that sounds kind of cheesy, but it's really just the act of like, what do I need? And what am I giving myself? And it's not like this, like, okay, we're going on like this shopping spree. I mean, I can't say I don't do that. But it's really like a the thought of like, this simple thing.
00:05:22
Heather Morgan
that I'm doing for myself makes me feel so good. And I'm so grateful that I care for myself in that way.
00:05:33
Heather Morgan
And I know a lot of us kind of go through life and sometimes we just don't put ourselves first. We aren't grateful for our small wins. We get so wrapped up in you know, getting to the next goal, accomplishing the next thing being the best, letting people see all the things we have we've acquired. And it just, it gets really, really
The Pursuit of Happiness
00:05:59
Heather Morgan
muddy. And we stop focusing on all the little things that we have to be grateful for.
00:06:06
Heather Morgan
as if there's like some amount of trophies we're trying to acquire to like whoever has the most wins at the end of the day, we all leave and nobody takes their trophies. They don't take their cars. They don't take their house. They don't take the things literally none of that. But yet we're we're so oftentimes fixated on like this vision of what it has to be in order for us to be grateful and happy and Frankly, we we're spending a lot of our lives trying to, and I heard someone say this, prove that we're worth our existence is worth something. But we're proving it in these ways that are so tied up in what everyone else wants from us.
00:06:57
Heather Morgan
And I'm saying all that to tell you that when you're spending your holiday, however you will, and you're around people that you love and that hopefully you're grateful for, I know that sometimes the the family dynamic can be stressful, but whether you're with friends or you're going to pull a me and enjoy your day with your dog, um, making a steak and your favorite stuffing recipe, because that's your all-time favorite food, but you only eat it at Thanksgiving.
Understanding Self-Worth
00:07:34
Heather Morgan
So like whatever you're doing, sit in the moment and be like, this is a lot of what I'm grateful for.
00:07:43
Heather Morgan
I did this thing and I want to share. And again, I'm really hoping you're listening and feeling that no matter where you are in life, who you are, anything going on, it's just, there's probably nothing more powerful than leaning into loving yourself and being grateful. And it's not like it's not a gender thing. like It's not like only women can love themselves or only people that have certain... like There's no, everyone should get that. Everyone deserves it. Everyone absolutely needs it. And I feel like there's nothing better
00:08:23
Heather Morgan
than feeling like you love yourself outside of every external validation, outside of anybody telling you, outside of how much money you make or what your job is or how successful you've grown in your career or how big your business is, regardless of all of those external things. Just knowing that you existing is enough
00:08:49
Heather Morgan
It's probably like the greatest gift anyone can receive. So this is my attempt at giving you a gift to try to remind you of those things and how important and special you are to this world because you should know that.
Expressing Appreciation
00:09:07
Heather Morgan
So let me tell you a little thing that I did because I wish I could do it for all y'all, every single person that listens. But not that long ago, I'm working with a great mentor of mine. And he had this whole process where I was sending voice notes to people in my life that really matter to me.
00:09:26
Heather Morgan
And just like a ah quick, you know, one minute message of why this person was important to my life, what I enjoyed about them, <unk> etc.
00:09:39
Heather Morgan
And it was so fun actually um to do it because I thought of the person and then i and if I didn't give you one and you're a close friend of mine, I'm sorry. like I'll get around to everybody because I absolutely love this and it took one minute of my time but it gave me so much of a good feeling in my heart.
00:09:59
Heather Morgan
and i left this one-minute voicemail and just like told these this group of people um you know the things I loved about them. And the wild thing is i when I sent these, I wasn't really thinking about what they would say back to me And my mentor was actually, it was part of a process where I was supposed to in turn end up asking them if they felt called to do the same for me. But I felt like, Oh, a little bait and switch. I send it out. And then I'm like, Oh, can you do one for me? And that was hard for me, but that's another topic. But me just sending them out. The response is back.
00:10:45
Heather Morgan
filled my heart more than even me asking them for messages because every single one of them had so much gratitude and was like, I really needed to hear that right now. That means so much to me. Like I realized because some of my friends, you know, were life's busy. I don't see them all every day, especially my ones from back home.
00:11:12
Heather Morgan
And so for me to just take one ah minute out of my day and just send a message like that, hearing what they wrote back, it felt like all of them absolutely needed to hear that. And that was like feeling my cup probably me more than anything I could have ever expected. And so I challenge you on this lovely holiday week that If you could just think of a few people in your life who are sending a short voice, no. Or even a text if you're not into that voice, no. Like, hey man, like I, your friendship really matters to me and I just wanted you to know. I feel like sometimes we don't give compliments to the people who are in our life so frequently.
00:12:05
Heather Morgan
Like we might see a stranger and be like, Oh, nice dress. Or we might, you know, well, if you're a girl, for men, I feel like compliments that that doesn't happen very often. But ah it should. It should. Because everyone loves to feel like someone sees them for who they are and appreciates it. There's a lot of work where we do in self love. And that really does have to come from within.
00:12:31
Heather Morgan
And we have to love who we are, regardless of what everyone else thinks. And that has been and a trip for me. But what feeds into you being able to love yourself often is hearing from others what you know you need to believe about yourself.
00:12:55
Heather Morgan
So when you're having a hard time understanding how worthy you are to be here, and then someone that truly knows you or cares about you in your life tells you the things that you're trying to remind yourself about yourself, it's so helpful for you to go, Oh yeah, if Billy thinks that, I mean, maybe it is true. And sometimes you can get there a little easier.
Building Self-Love
00:13:23
Heather Morgan
by having those external cheerleaders. So even though the main goal is to get to a place where you don't need any validation from others to feel whole, on the journey to get there, having people around you that support you and love you and give you those words of affirmation and remind you how important you are, it's so much of like a lot of momentum to help you get there.
00:13:52
Heather Morgan
So this is what that this episode is really about. If you're already like, I can't even get here in my mind. I'm sorry, but I want you to because this is the week you're thankful. I know you're going to get into the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Like everything's happening. And it's so easy to just keep moving through the motions of life and being stressed. I am grateful for once for the opposite for it to be a little slow for me.
00:14:23
Heather Morgan
I look at my previous life and I remember preparing for Thanksgiving and I was like getting up early, getting their turkey. like Everything was like, I got to make it perfect, nah, nah, nah. And there would be moments when I'd be like, you know my ex-husband would be sitting on the couch and I'd be like, and he was a great help, don't get me wrong. But you know he can't read my mind.
00:14:44
Heather Morgan
Guess what? I get divorced and realize clearly now men can't read your mind. Like it took me that long, but here we are. No one can read your mind and men don't things like women. And so there was a lot of lessons there, but the point is, is I would be getting like so frustrated about something sometimes like, Oh, help me with this. This isn't done. We don't have a time that hustle and bustle. It's like.
00:15:10
Heather Morgan
I'm grateful I have a house to host in and food to put on a table and family that wants to come over. But yet I'm like, oh, the table isn't perfect. This isn't great. Why is that? Why was I wasting my time and energy making little things such a big deal? I don't know. I don't know.
00:15:36
Heather Morgan
And so Thanksgiving was kind of that reminder for me that it just felt like sometimes we just, we were like enjoying it. we We would enjoy it for like a minute and then we were just ready for it to be over and then clean up and then go on. And it was like very transactional in a lot of ways. And I feel like that's a good example of how our lives get when we don't slow down and think about just being present and being grateful for where we're at in life and what we have and who we have in our lives.
Lessons from Hardships
00:16:07
Heather Morgan
I feel like we push good things and good people out of our lives when we're just trying to overthink it, trying to make it more than it needs to be, trying to get frustrated.
00:16:19
Heather Morgan
It really is this cycle of a groundhog day of just rinse and repeat. And then the day is over and we don't really even remember the moments we were happiest half the time.
00:16:35
Heather Morgan
And luckily, I don't have many, if any, days like that anymore. But I have to work really hard to get there.
00:16:45
Heather Morgan
And I want to remind you when you're going through your day.
00:16:50
Heather Morgan
that there's people in your life that you might be making the whole situation with those people a lot harder because you're expecting things from others that you may need to just let go of. They may not need to be that important.
00:17:11
Heather Morgan
I did that so much in my marriage. And I think back, if I went back, you know, so many things wouldn't have been as a big of a deal and as important as they were. And even in my life, when I was making decisions about Incorporate or in my career, there's so many things that just, I lost sleepover. I got so frustrated about that really don't matter.
00:17:41
Heather Morgan
And so when we can kind of stop and be like, why am I, is this thought even serving me? Like, is this even important? Is this an argument worth starting? Is this gossip work worth talking about? That's been another thing I've realized in my mindset shift and as I've been through this journey is that it doesn't make you feel good to say anything bad about other people.
00:18:11
Heather Morgan
Like it's like a temporary, like you're kind of like, Oh, well then like that judgment piece comes out and you're, you're blaming and, but really you're just projecting your own anger, frustration, and you're making it about someone else. But the more that you work through life and you realize that anything you're really saying about anyone else,
00:18:38
Heather Morgan
is like a projection of your own self.
00:18:43
Heather Morgan
Isn't that crazy to think about? The reason someone makes you mad or triggers you or whatever, there's something within yourself that needs to be addressed.
00:18:56
Heather Morgan
And I'm not saying that people that have done you wrong, you can't be like, yeah, that's not someone I want to be around. But nitpicking everything about him isn't really gonna help a dang thing. And sometimes we just have to realize, well, that person's just not gonna be in my life. Dodged a bullet there. They're not even that fun. They're not even that cool. Like, they're not even like, and and you don't even really have to say that, I guess. I mean, I think that in my head, I try not to say it out loud, but I'm like, that's just not, I kind of say it like, that's not my vibe. Like, that person is just not my vibe.
00:19:33
Heather Morgan
And I'm not everyone's vibe. And that's okay. Another very hard concept for me to work through. But I think when we can just let that go, instead of like wasting any more energy, getting upset at some person that's just not our vibe, we save more energy for good things in our life.
00:19:59
Heather Morgan
Even like I saw this woman at the store. And she was getting so frustrated at how confused and slow the cashier was. I don't know what kind of time this lady had. She probably wasn't a rush. And I feel like we've all been there where we're like, really? I chose the slow line. Like this is really what's happening here. And this is going to happen even more around the holidays. In fact, it happened to me the other day when I was at buying something and this woman was buying like a million things. And so they were wrapping them and it was taking forever.
00:20:35
Heather Morgan
And I kind of felt like, should I even get these things now? Like it's taking so long. But then I was like, why am I getting so upset?
00:20:43
Heather Morgan
Feeling upset, it doesn't really make me feel good.
00:20:48
Heather Morgan
And if you like stop when you're there, so like this woman in the line that was getting so mad, it was almost like making me anxious because I was watching her watch the woman and it was a whole energy of like everyone's just pissed. Hurry it up. Hurry it. It's like this may sound like a little like woo like what are you but I'm thinking in my head like Is this even that big of a deal? like This lady's like capable of buying a whole basket of groceries. She's able to stand. She's just chilling there. like can she like like Probably one so good one good song. Put your AirPods on, one good song, and the lady will be done checking this person out. What song do you feel like hearing? Turn on my podcast. I should have said that.
00:21:38
Heather Morgan
But the point is, it's like there's really no reason to give us our energy to like things we can't control. Like this lady getting mad about the cashier being a little slow was not like making the cashier any faster.
00:21:55
Heather Morgan
And we all know this, but some for some reason, our response to something not going as we planned, meaning our, whatever we expected, she expected to quickly get through the line, wasn't happening. Well, it's out of her control and she's still getting mad.
00:22:14
Heather Morgan
Like why? It's kind of a crazy concept. And I can relate it to so much in our lives because again, in my marriage, I was getting upset about things outside of my control as if that was going to help anything.
00:22:34
Heather Morgan
And I realized probably Because that was such a time to self-reflect getting divorced, it probably taught me more about myself and the person I want to be than anything else that's ever happened to me. So for that, I am grateful because I'm not sure when I would have stopped and reflected if I didn't take myself out of that situation.
00:23:05
Heather Morgan
So I'll, I'll, I'll kind of wrap this up. It's really just me wanting to give gratitude for y'all. It's wanting me to be thankful for this opportunity to just hold a mic and have anyone that so happened yeah like happenstance comes and finds my podcast to listen.
00:23:31
Heather Morgan
to me, ah talk. And I'm grateful for that. If there's one person or 1000 people that hear this, it just makes my heart happy to know that I can kind of just share my life and my feelings and my thoughts with people that I hopefully can take something from from it and resonate with it. And I'll kind of end this by telling you that
00:23:57
Heather Morgan
If you take anything from this, it's that you're worthy and that happiness is in this moment. Happiness isn't when you get the promotion. Happiness isn't when you buy that next truck. Happiness isn't when you find a partner to love forever. Happiness isn't anything outside of you.
00:24:25
Heather Morgan
Happiness is already here if you let it. We are truly meant to be here, to be happy and blissful and joyful.
Victim Mindset vs. Gratitude
00:24:35
Heather Morgan
And I know the world wants us to be dramatic and dark and that's why it's just easier, I think, to feel like the whole world is falling apart because people just feel more comfortable thinking that
00:24:52
Heather Morgan
That's the way it is. I don't know why. I mean, I've been there. I go there. Sometimes it'd be easier to just to fall back into this. woe is me. I feel like people like to unfortunately and I'm not trying to target anyone but in life a lot of people feel comfortable being a victim because they can blame outside circumstances or other people for them not being where they want to be in their life and that's easier because you don't have to be like lie
00:25:24
Heather Morgan
just don't know how to love myself and be happy with what I have and be grateful for who I am. I'm so worried about all these other things, but don't worry. It's not my fault because this has happened to me and my parents did this or my ex cheated or my boss is that it's just so much easier.
00:25:42
Heather Morgan
Cause it's not your fault, right? Like everyone else is doing this to you. You're just, you're just there. Like you're perfect pretty much. If of all those other things wouldn't happen, you would be much different. But the truth is you can be much different anytime. Even if those things happen to you, you can completely be different tomorrow.
00:26:08
Heather Morgan
No one's like holding your feet to the fire saying like, you gotta be this person forever.
00:26:15
Heather Morgan
No one, nothing. It's it's you. And i I hope you're not like turning off this podcast right now and pissed at me because you're like, don't tell me it's me. These hard things have happened. I get it. Hard things have definitely happened for me too. And I say for me because I definitely took some of my greatest lessons from the hardest things that have ever happened to me.
00:26:47
Heather Morgan
And without them, I wouldn't be where I am. And that's with you. Without those lessons, you wouldn't be where you are. So you can either dwell on them or learn from them. Love yourself or be mad at everybody else. like I guess those aren't your only choices.
Thanksgiving Reflections
00:27:08
Heather Morgan
But if one day out of the year, you can think of all the reasons why you're great and be thankful for yourself, I hope this is the day. I hope this is the day.
00:27:19
Heather Morgan
You matter. I'm doing this for you and for me and for all of us. I promise to get a little more messy, but I could not pass this opportunity on a week that we really should reflect always, but on a week, it seems very timely to reflect on what we're thankful for. I just want to say I'm thankful for y'all.
00:27:46
Heather Morgan
If you want to give me a Thanksgiving gift or be kind, text your friends this week, even Thanksgiving's like a perfect day. Hey, I'm thankful for you.
00:28:02
Heather Morgan
It doesn't have to be cheesy. People might act like that's weird. I don't know how to take it because some people aren't used to compliments. Believe me, they still love it. They still love it. Not even a person. I have a girlfriend of mine. I text her kind things. She's like, I don't even know what to say. I want to cry though. Because some people don't get that. So be that person for someone.
Listener Engagement
00:28:24
Heather Morgan
And you can also go to my website, wanderingthewildmess.com and ask me any questions. Tell me what you want to hear about. I'd love to be able to give you more of what makes you feel good because guess what? This is our time. No one has to know you're trying to better yourself by listening to this episode. So if you want to listen to it again, do it. Our little secret.
00:28:51
Heather Morgan
Thanks so much for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.