Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to My American Hero. Here is Josh Stevens exploring his grandfather's obsession with bicycling.
Speaker: My grandpa started riding bicycles in France during the war. He always said, there's no problem that riding a bicycle can't fix. When I was 10 years old, I started peppering him with problems that I thought riding a bicycle couldn't fix.
Speaker: How can riding a bicycle stop the spread of AIDS, Grandpa, I asked. He replied, I once had AIDS, but after I rode my bicycle it disappeared. Um, really, Grandpa, I said.
Speaker: I came up with another tough question for him. What if a tornado destroys our entire town? How is riding a bicycle going to fix that? He responded, A tornado destroyed my town once, and I rode my bicycle to the next town to live.
Speaker: But Grandpa, you didn't fix the town. I fixed it by leaving, he said. Okay, okay, okay, how about this, I asked. What if you're hit by a car on your bicycle and you die?
Speaker: How will you fix that since you'll be dead? I'm already dead. No you're not, Grandpa. Yes, I am, he howled. No, you're not, I screamed.
Speaker: I'll prove it to you, he declared. He picked his bicycle up off the ground and started riding. After a minute, he rode over to me and said, Praise Jesus. I don't feel dead anymore.
Speaker: Riding my bicycle brought me back to life. I knew right then and there my grandpa was a lying prick. When he actually died eight years later, I told this exact story at his funeral, and my family shamed me for disrespecting an American war hero.
Speaker: Distraught, I left the church and went for a ride on grandpa's old bicycle. And wouldn't you know it, I got AIDS from some anal mucus he left on the seat. I told you he was a lying prick.
