Transcript
Speaker: For the last two weeks, I've been waking up and wondering why it takes so long to cook beef brisket. Nobody talks about how to cook a good brisket. It reminds me of how nobody talked about my Aunt Cheryl's yeast infection in 2012.
Speaker: We all saw her itching her crotch. We all saw her reaching in her underwear to remove cottage cheese-like vaginal discharge and flick it onto the floor. One of her vaginal cheese curds landed on my dress shoes before church.
Speaker: Nobody wanted to talk about that. Recently, I read that Danny Meyer, the guy that started Shake Shack, said, brisket is one nasty cut of meat. I guess he said that because brisket is the chest muscle of a cow, which I didn't know until I did a search on Google.
Speaker: Life always provides opportunities to learn new things. Like how in sixth grade I learned my cousin Robbie was gay after he said to me, maybe I should lick your pecker like I lick those sherbet push pops we buy from the ice cream truck.
Speaker: I don't know where I'm going with any of this. I'm just glad to be journaling again.
