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What I Learned When I Felt Alone: An Interview with Tenielle Neda
125 Plays7 months ago
Thanks for listening to Season 1, Episode 7 of The After Dinner Mint podcast. The After Dinner Mint is a podcast of Stories I’d Tell You at Dinner. We bring Christian women in Western Australia together through honest stories.
We are interviewing all our regular contributors in Season 1 for you to get to know them better. Tenielle is a train driver and singer-songwriter from remote Western Australia. She is married to a NZ born camera-man & teacher, Daniel, and they have three precious, young children.
In today’s episode, we explore:
- The joys of writing and performing music, as well as feeling close to God through song.
- The slow process of coming to Christ as a young adult through her brother’s conversion and Christian friends. Tenielle was raised in a family that went to church on Easter and Christmas and her parents separated when she was eight years old.
- Tenielle’s struggles with, “How could God love me?” and feeling alone in certain periods of her life.
- How these periods of wrestling have assured her of God’s love and have influenced her new album, The Way of Love, releasing in July 2025.
Check out the show notes for everything mentioned in the show.
You can pre-save Tenielle’s new album, The Way of Love, on Spotify, or see her perform live with John van Deusen at Freo Church on 18 and 19 July.
About Tenielle
Tenielle Neda is a train driver & singer-songwriter from remote Western Australia. She is married to a NZ born camera-man & teacher, Daniel, and they have three precious, young children. Tenielle has studied at Trinity Theological College in Perth, and hopes to continue her theological studies, amidst busy mum life and music creation. She finds that studying God's word - knowing him and loving him more - deeply inspires and informs her songwriting. Her music is an expression of her faith and experience of life through the lens of the gospel. You can follow her music at tenielleneda.com
Want honest stories from Christian women in Western Australia in your inbox on Wednesdays? Sign up here.
Music: Come Back by Ketsa. Licensed under a Creative Commons License Non-Commercial, No-Derivatives 4.0 International License.
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Transcript
Introduction to After Dinner Mint Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
so easy to revert to self-reliance and self-sufficiency, pride, and I think the constant humbling. Sometimes I'm like, Lord, had enough humbling. This is The After Dinner Mint, a podcast of Stories I'd Tell You at Dinner.
00:00:20
Speaker
Think of the Mint as the stories you tell after you've been kicked out of the restaurant, holding your mint, standing in the streets, telling more honest stories with your friends than you did at the table. It's not a sermon.
00:00:31
Speaker
It's not advice. It's not self-help. We're processing what we're learning about faith and life, honestly, in community, to encourage you to do that with your God and your
Guest Introduction: Tineel Netter
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Speaker
community.
00:00:43
Speaker
I'm your host, Bec. our guest today is Tenielle Neda, a singer-songwriter from Remote WA and a regular writer for Stories I'd Tell You At Dinner.
00:00:55
Speaker
Welcome Tenielle . We're so excited to get to know you. Thanks, Bec. Thanks for having me.
Balancing Motherhood and Music
00:01:00
Speaker
What does your week look like? What kind of things make up your week? Well, i have three kids. I have a seven-year-old boy, a five-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl.
00:01:08
Speaker
So my life is very much mum life, school drop-off, school pickups and then, yeah, having Eden at home. So playgroups and a Bible study, which I attempt to lead with my two-year-old in tow.
00:01:23
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which is always okay interesting.
00:01:27
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Lots of snacks, lots of snacks.
00:01:31
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ah Yeah, so that's, and then I try and like squeeze in a bit of music here and there when I can, but that's mostly see what my music looks like. Oh, wow. I mean, like, so you're a proper like singer-songwriter. Like how do you, what does that look like trying to smoosh in creativity into like those margins of motherhood?
00:01:53
Speaker
So cute that you said I'm a proper proper singer songwriter. I'm a real singer songwriter. That's lovely. Thank you. I don't know I'm wonderful or terrible, but I'm here for that.
00:02:08
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It's, it's very, it's suit yeah, it's been hard over the last seven years of mother, mum life squeeze in songwriting. I write pretty spontaneously. so often in the in the in the evenings when the kids are in bed or like i voice memos in my phone is like my, my hero. So if I'm in the kitchen, I'm doing the dishes, might,
00:02:31
Speaker
you know record an idea. Sometimes if I'm in the car, I might get an idea. So very much sort of like off the cuff, just here and there. And then usually when I get some time alone, when the kids are asleep, I might flesh out an idea that I've recorded that day or something like that.
Creating Music: Process and Challenges
00:02:45
Speaker
But that, yeah. And I generally aim for sort of like one EP or one sort of short bunch of recordings each year and I don't get too ambitious.
00:02:54
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So yeah, I guess realistic goals and opportunistic writing. Yeah.
00:03:02
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I love it. You're like, I have a general direction and I'm kind of flexible on how we get there. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, lovely. I'm interested, how long does it take to put together like a whole EP?
00:03:15
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So an EP is kind of like five or six songs, an album you know anywhere from... eight to 15 in terms of like writing the songs like that can happen quite quickly or it could happen over like a number of years depends on yes the collection of songs but the actual recording process it also depends on your approach so like if you say like with my first ep we booked out a studio down south and we went down and we kind of smashed it out but we only had one child at that point whereas the last few records i've done actually the last like three eps that i've done and then i've i'm just about to release an album
00:03:51
Speaker
I have just tracked all my vocals at home in my spare time, which is very little. Usually on a Saturday morning, make the make my husband take the kids to the park. And I just track in my spare room, which is usually covered in poles and washing and whatnot. But yeah, and my I work with a producer over in the States.
00:04:10
Speaker
So he actually really does a all the hard work. Not me. That's so cool. Yeah, I love that you've just kind of worked back from, love this and I'm going to keep doing it. So...
00:04:20
Speaker
you know, what do I actually need and what can I kind of outsource or get helpful to make it, yeah, to just make it keep happening. Like I might be moving slowly, but I'm still moving.
00:04:32
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Yeah. I think it it has been really helpful for this season of life. I think just to, be able to write them and then kind of outsource the production and then just track vocals. But I think I have a ah really good relationship with the producers I work with and I trust them and i think artistically we
The Joy of Artistic Collaboration
00:04:49
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are really compatible. So like i feel confident in the outcome.
00:04:54
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I think if I didn't have that relationship with the producers, I probably couldn't. I would feel less happy to outsource it. But God in His Kindness has provided people to partner with the music, which I'm really grateful for.
00:05:07
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Oh, that's so beautiful. And then you get to do the bits that you really, really love and know that the other parts will come back. Yep. That's so cool. Yeah.
Faith and Music: A Spiritual Connection
00:05:18
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Yeah. I mean, like, tell me, work what are you doing when you feel the most yourself? Like, you know, this is what I was made to do. Like, what makes you feel alive? I would probably say writing songs.
00:05:31
Speaker
songwriting and singing and playing them for people because it's kind of like yeah the songwriting is one aspect of it and then obviously sort of like seeing that music come to fruition when you record it and then going out and playing it for people leading leading worship at church like playing music and singing to god i'd say like i find it really life-giving So when I'm not doing it, it's like, I think songwriting and playing and leading worship and singing, it's like what I do to feel close to God and to like nourish my relationship with. So I think I feel most alive when I'm doing that.
00:06:09
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And when I'm not doing it, I'm sort of like restless. Yeah. I love that where they kind of feed into you. Like, actually I feel the most joyful. And then I had this beautiful worship and then that kind of flows into every other part of your life because you're joyful. so I love that, yeah, they both work together.
00:06:26
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Yeah, yeah. It can be a bit taxing playing live and it's always a bit daunting but like sometimes I feel like I come down a bit after like live shows but I think it's just more to do with like the logistics of playing when you have like little kids is really hard, you know. Yeah.
00:06:47
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Yeah.
Live Performances and Family Life
00:06:49
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Do you do many live shows these days? No, not really. I've probably averaged, like for my original music, like I play more at church obviously but that's not really...
00:06:58
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performing but I in terms of like my original music performing my original music I've kind of averaged since having kids like a show every two years but I think this last I did some shows last year yeah and I'm actually doing two two shows in July with a friend from the states we're flying him out yeah at Fremantle Church so that will kind of be like a little album launch I'd love go to that yeah you can come cool will you let me in
00:07:30
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I would love you to come. would love to come. That sounds really cool. I'll send you the info. You should actually just come for John Van Dusen. He is amazing.
00:07:41
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I'll just be like, hey, hey John, you don't know me, but...
00:07:48
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Actually, yeah, Fremantle Church, they're going to be hosting a bit of like a faith and arts conference. And so we're sort of part of that. And then we're doing two shows. And then, yeah, so I'm very, very excited. And that that's kind of like, that that'll probably be the, I imagine that may be the only shows I play this year. Oh, but if that's the only show you're going to do, that is very exciting.
Journey to Christianity
00:08:08
Speaker
Now, Tanu, how did become a Christian?
00:08:11
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and never know whether to give like the long answer or the short answer. Yeah. my My parents, like my mum said that she became a Christian when she was pregnant with me. And so I would say that my mum and dad are Christians and well, they' certainly theists.
00:08:27
Speaker
And, but they kind of like went to church a little bit when I was very small, but my parents separated when I was eight. And after that church was quite off and on. And ah probably didn't really understand what it meant to really follow Jesus and be in a relationship with Jesus.
00:08:46
Speaker
So i I kind of prayed and I would have said I was Christian and i we went to church usually on Easter and Christmas, but I would say it was fairly nominal and it didn't really shape the way that I lived. I kind of started on like a bit of a journey with faith in my early 20s.
00:09:02
Speaker
My brother, actually, my younger brother, when he was 18, he became a Christian and he was kind of really angry and not on a very good life trajectory. And he was, yeah, I guess just carrying a lot of like bitterness and pain and not making very wise choices. And I actually was praying for him, believe it or not, even though, yeah.
00:09:23
Speaker
And he went to church and heard the gospel with my mum um and then put his trust in Jesus. And to this day, he is still loving and serving Jesus as a pastor.
Understanding Grace and Gospel Acceptance
00:09:34
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That's so beautiful.
00:09:35
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Yeah, he his testimony and like the change in his life was really powerful. it was a really powerful witness to me. because I saw him go from being like so angry to just being free and joyful and, you know, forgiveness. And just, it was a really amazing work of God. so but still I was living in Sydney at the time and probably in a bit of an unhealthy relationship.
00:10:01
Speaker
And I was sort of like pursuing secular music. And, but I guess sort of, I kind of lived over in Sydney and Melbourne for about four or five years, but Funnily enough, in that time, one of my best friends now who's a Christian, I met her and her husband and i kind of had like these Christian people in my life who were very patient and kind and gracious.
00:10:20
Speaker
And yeah, and so just I started like reading my Bible and I read like me Christianity and I read like apologetics and I sort of had these like intellectual questions that I ah needed to answer.
00:10:33
Speaker
So kind of like once I got over like the intellectual hurdle and I was like, okay, it's plausible. I feel like this is real. I kind of was getting disillusioned with music and in, yeah, like I said, not ah not a very healthy relationship. And so I kind of like was pushing more into my faith. And then I i moved back to Perth and I was attending a church um that we're running like a Bible study on a Friday. And I just started learning more and more about who Jesus was and yeah and then I just made the decision to do an internship at that church and I think intellectually had decided like yep um I'm okay but then I do sort of remember i was sort of just still carrying some things that I was struggling with it at the time and my pastor said to me oh do you really believe that God loves you Tennille
00:11:24
Speaker
And I just like cried and I was like, I just don't know how. just, I feel so ashamed and guilty and ah just don't know how he can love me. and I just felt so unworthy.
00:11:35
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And instead of just giving me his opinion, he opened the Bible and we read all these passages from scripture where it talks about God's love for us through Christ. And I honestly just, it was like the penny dropped, you know, like I really understood grace for the first time and I think really accepted it at a heart level.
00:11:53
Speaker
So I almost feel like I had this like journey. And of course it was like, you know, emotional, experiential, intellectual, like whatever. But I think at that particular point was the point for me where I was like, I wholeheartedly understood and accepted the gospel.
00:12:07
Speaker
And then from that point, yeah, I went and studied at Trinity and kind of have just been on the journey. So I feel like it was like process. And then also there was like this point where I could kind of pinpoint.
00:12:21
Speaker
But I know that that's not the same for everybody. But that that's sort of like my my journey, I suppose. No, I love that. I mean, there's a quote from Jen Wilkin. Like she's an American author. And she says like, the heart can't love what the mind doesn't know.
00:12:34
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And it's almost like, you know we learn about it, but then there's always both. Like, I think my story would be the same way. You're like, Oh, i intellectually understand this, but then you're like, but how could God, like, how could God love me?
00:12:47
Speaker
Like, he knows me and he knows what I'm like. Like, is this really possible? Is this too good to be true? in Yeah. Like, think yeah there's gotta be that shift. It can't just remain intellectual.
00:12:59
Speaker
No, yeah. And I think sometimes the heart takes a bit longer to catch up. and Yes, does. Yeah. Yeah. So who's someone who's really, like, encouraged you in your Christian walk and why?
Role of Community in Faith
00:13:15
Speaker
I've had, like, numerous people over the years, like I sort of mentioned earlier, when was sharing about how became a Christian, there was like few key people in my early days of like exploring Christianity who was just so patient and kind while there pruning happening in my life.
00:13:32
Speaker
And yeah, and so, and people who just like kept pointing me to Jesus and read the Bible with me and like prayed with me. And like I said, I think people can be really quick to give like their opinions or, you know, they never,
00:13:47
Speaker
were just judgmental, you know, like they were always pointing me back to Jesus and his word. And so, yeah, there was a few key, like my my pastor at the time and his wife, another friend that was living in Karratha when I was working in Karratha, my friend in Sydney, the couple that I met when I moved to Sydney who were Christians.
00:14:03
Speaker
I feel extremely grateful to have had those people in my life. And even now, you know, like this there's another, we've just actually not long ago moved and there's a family that live where we live now.
00:14:15
Speaker
um And they're just like a few years ahead in their journey of parenting and life. And so I've really been blessed by new friend and her wisdom and her encouragement and just, again, pointing me back to Jesus in this season of life.
00:14:31
Speaker
I love that. I love that like, you know, you have God and you have his word, but like you also have his church. We're like, they really are like those hands and feet where you're like, oh when you had people who just,
00:14:44
Speaker
I'm at that intellectual stage and I need to understand they weren't forcing you into rules and this is how you have to look, but they were very much, what does Jesus actually say? What is he like? What does he think about you? And as you've gone along, people are really like, okay, if this is true and the heart loves it, like how do we how do we like endure? How do we remain faithful? What does that look like in this next part of it?
00:15:09
Speaker
Yeah.
Learning Dependence on God
00:15:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's really beautiful. So tell me, what's something that God's taught you through like a hard season or suffering that like you don't think you would have learned otherwise?
00:15:21
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Like what did you learn about God? Everything.
00:15:29
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I am nothing. That's my answer.
00:15:36
Speaker
Oh, so much. I think I feel like in every season of life and and in different stages, I even look back to when I was a kid. Like I said, when my parents separated when I was eight and life from there was quite tumultuous at times. And obviously, like I wasn't consciously a committed Christian then. But even in those moments of like sadness and loneliness and struggle as a young person,
00:16:01
Speaker
I look back now and I can see God's hand and his providence and his care. it really humbles me. I've got a song that I wrote about it actually, when it says, you you knew me before I knew you and you loved me before I loved you.
00:16:13
Speaker
Always were and always will be, as in like you were always with me and you always will be with me, even when I didn't even really acknowledge it. So I think his presence is one thing, which sometimes, yeah, obviously that's hindsight for me at that age, but yeah And then I suppose more recently being utterly dependent on him.
00:16:36
Speaker
I think it's easy, it's so easy to revert to self-reliance and self-sufficiency, pride, and I think the constant humbling. Sometimes I'm like, Lord, had enough humbling.
00:16:49
Speaker
I don't want to learn patience anymore. I'm like, oh, I sanctified enough. I want to learn something new, never patient. Yeah.
00:17:02
Speaker
But no, i think, yeah, it's like letting go of, like, sometimes ah ah have restrictions and limitations on my life. And sometimes I'm like, why God, like I could serve you this way or could that. But actually God's like, no, Tennille.
00:17:18
Speaker
I've put you here for a purpose in this season and you have to trust me and just love me and keep looking to me and keep relying on me. And i feel like that's like a daily dying to self and, and just, yeah, being completely dependent on him for his wisdom do and his grace and resting in his love.
00:17:38
Speaker
And I think a lot the songs on my new album, there's like the word love and I think five or six of the titles. And I was thinking of like the through line sort of like in the album and it really is God's love. And I think it's just come out of this season of really having to rest and relish in his love because it's like the only way that i can feel just that joy and satisfaction and that that deep contentment, even when life is hard and there's things that are hard. And so I feel like that that's what God's been teaching me in this season.
00:18:12
Speaker
Yeah. Isn't it like, this quote and I'm going to, look, I'm going to butcher it, but they were like, the gospel is so, you know, it's so simple that a child could grasp it, but also like you could spend your life like swimming, swimming in it.
00:18:28
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, yeah. Cause you can look back at your child and be like, wow, God's providence is really there. Like he really, he cared for me. He held me in a way that I couldn't see.
00:18:40
Speaker
you have that experiential, know, in your life, I want to say like like teens, early 20s, I'm guessing, that kind of really like does God really love me? It sounds like with that new album it's that it's that same through line again where you're like o how how deep does this go? Like if I, i mean, and tell me if I'm wrong, yeah, like if I can't do all the things that I used to bring towards you and if I can't feel like I'm not doing those things well, like do you still love me then?
00:19:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think I've been reading like this Paul Tripp gospel truths of parenting or whatever, but, and he's talks about, and actually it might not even be in the book, might be in into something else. I read a portrait, but he talks about how we have like gospel amnesia, you know, like we need to be reminded all the time of the gospel and it's so true.
00:19:31
Speaker
um Yeah. But I think particularly when life is hard and there's suffering and there's loneliness and like sometimes it feels like it's utter loneliness, like that no one understands, like your husband doesn't understand, your parents don't understand, your kids can't understand because
Finding Solace in God's Love
00:19:47
Speaker
they're kids.
00:19:47
Speaker
And I think even in that utter loneliness, God sees and understands and that when you're forced to just rely on him and rest in that love, you know, it's, yeah.
00:19:59
Speaker
Yeah. It's hard, but it's like the place. Of course that's the place where. Yeah, you don't realise God is all you need until God is all you have and you're like, oh. Yeah. This is actually like it's he's sufficient, but i i wouldn't have got I wouldn't have got there on my own Yeah. Yes.
00:20:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:24
Speaker
That's really beautiful. i love, I mean, just even as like a sidebar, just that you can create really beautiful things out of like that wrestle. Yeah.
00:20:36
Speaker
yeah yeah there's I feel like I'm plugging my album way too much but there's a song no I'm genuinely interested I'm like please tell me no oh there's just a song i actually wrote it a few years ago but it's called if I have no one else and it's like if I have no one else in this world I've got you and all that I have is in you and that's like the chorus refrain and that's simple it's not like rocket science but It's just, I guess it was just born out of that feeling of, I feel like utterly alone, but it's okay. Cause if I have no one else in this world, I've got you.
00:21:09
Speaker
And so, yeah, that's kind of. Yeah. yeah Yeah. You're like completely, completely known and also like completely loved. You're like, God's God's not going anywhere. He's not going to leave you where you are.
00:21:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. So who is someone that you think would be, don't know, who's someone like who, a woman who's really encouraged you and like you think would be really good to hear from
Inspiration from Faithful Friendships
00:21:40
Speaker
next?
00:21:40
Speaker
I think my new friend. my new friends, I'm going to throw a cliff.
00:21:54
Speaker
old friends too. I feel like there's a number of people i could suggest, but my new friend, her name's Danika. She's got five kids and yeah, just, I really enjoyed getting to know her and her story. And I think lots of women would be really encouraged by her.
00:22:10
Speaker
Oh, that's lovely. And like, what, what's something that you've learned from Danika? Uh, lots. So I, yes so I've been encouraged by her faith through suffering and that's not my story to share, but I've been really encouraged by her her steadfastness and her trust and her faith through suffering and the way that she, you know, she memorized the whole of Romans 8, like in this particular season from start to finish. Yeah. And I was like, that's amazing.
00:22:49
Speaker
I've just been listening to Romans 8 like repetitively because we've been slowly teaching through it in our women's Bible study. um is it Yeah. It's a great, great chapter. Yeah.
00:23:02
Speaker
And we have, we obviously share some of the challenges of parenting, like as you probably would with most parents, but we have a few particular challenges that we both share, but she's a few years further down the track than me. My kids are younger.
00:23:18
Speaker
Some of my kids are younger, sorry. So I've just really appreciated her encouragement and guidance, which is, and just, just to keep going, keep loving. Yeah.
00:23:31
Speaker
I think there's something really in there and just those friends where you can see all of their lives and you're like, I can see your heart and I can see what is good. And just, I think knowing that it's possible, you're like, Oh,
00:23:45
Speaker
I could keep going and, like, you know, there's there's fruit to be had there. Like there's something, yeah, there's something to hold on to.
Conclusion and Newsletter Promotion
00:23:57
Speaker
That's it from us, friends.
00:23:58
Speaker
We hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, you can sign up to our free weekly newsletter called Stories I'd Tell You At Dinner. So you get essays, poetry, podcast episodes, everything, photo essays straight to your inbox on Wednesdays from March to November from Christian Women in Western Australia.
00:24:18
Speaker
If you'd like that, the link is in the show notes. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye.