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What I Learned When Comparison Made Me Want to Quit: An Interview with Mariah Hlatywayo
113 Plays6 months ago
Thanks for listening to Season 1, Episode 8 of The After Dinner Mint podcast. The After Dinner Mint is a podcast of Stories I’d Tell You at Dinner. We bring Christian women in Western Australia together through honest stories.
We are interviewing all our regular contributors in Season 1 for you to get to know them better. Mariah is a singer-songwriter and drummer from Perth, Western Australia.
In today’s episode, we explore:
- The joys of writing and performing music, as well as feeling close to God through music.
- Growing up in a musical family in Colombo, Sri Lanka, with a mother who was Catholic and a father who was Pentecostal. In her twenties, Mariah attended a Bible teaching church with her family and came to realise how deeply God loved her.
- Mariah’s struggles with comparison in relation to her body image and music, and wanting to quit music because of this. She shared how God met her in this and what helps her fight discouragement and comparison.
- How these periods of struggle have influenced her new EP, I’ll Be Counting Still, releasing in July 2025.
You can listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get podcasts.
Check out the show notes for everything mentioned in the show.
Mariah is launching her new EP, I’ll Be Counting Still, live at The Ellington on Tuesday 1 July.
About Mariah
Mariah Hlatywayo (lutch-why-oh) is a singer-songwriter and drummer from Perth, Western Australia. She grew up in a musical family and enjoys writing, singing and playing songs inspired by her Christian faith and life experiences. When she is not making music, you can find her teaching music to teenagers, drinking coffee, and annoying Felicity – her fluffy rag-doll cat. Find more at mariahhlatywayo.com
Want honest stories from Christian women in Western Australia in your inbox on Wednesdays? Sign up here.
Music: Come Back by Ketsa. Licensed under a Creative Commons License Non-Commercial, No-Derivatives 4.0 International License.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
very impatient person. My husband's favourite word is later. One of his favourite words. And my favourite word is now.
00:00:16
Speaker
After Dinner Mint, a podcast of stories I tell you at dinner. Think of the mint as the stories you tell after you've been kicked out of the restaurant. holding a mint, standing in the street, telling more honest stories with your friends than you did at the table.
00:00:29
Speaker
It's not a sermon. It's not advice. It's not self-help. We're processing what we're learning about faith and life, honestly, in community, to encourage you to do that with your God and your community.
00:00:47
Speaker
I'm host, Bec, and today i'm here with Mariah Lushway-Erd. a singer, songwriter and drummer, as well as a regular contributor to Stories I Tell You at Dinner. Welcome, Mariah.
Mariah's Week as a Music Teacher
00:00:56
Speaker
Hello. So, Mariah, tell us, what does a typical week look like for you? Like, what kind of things make up your week? I am ah classroom teacher by day.
00:01:05
Speaker
So 50% of my time at school, I am teaching music in the classrooms, year seven all the way up to year 12. And I'm very blessed to be working at a Christian high school.
00:01:17
Speaker
And the other 50% of the time, i am working as a one-on-one singing teacher at the same school. And that I teach students from year one all the way up to 11. Yeah.
00:01:31
Speaker
ah so' So cute. Really lovely mix. And very blessed, very blessed to be able to do this, to be able to make a living doing this. Yeah. Yeah.
Mariah's Music Career and Social Media
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah. And what are the other parts that make up your week? um So like you've a lot of music midweek. I play in a duo with my brother. We're not very creative with names. So our name is Mariah and Josh.
00:01:55
Speaker
hu Like on Instagram, we're just Mariah underscore and underscore Josh. and we Truth in advertising? Yeah. Yeah, so people are like, oh, okay, so you're Mariah and that's Josh? Like, yeah.
00:02:10
Speaker
So we do a lot of cover gigs and private and corporate things. So generally, most musicians tend to have a lot of gigs and things in the summer, spring and summer months.
00:02:23
Speaker
And then in in winter, it gets a little bit less. So generally in October onwards till about April, Most weekends, you know, either on the Saturday or the Sunday, I'll be doing something musical, whether that's, yeah, some sort of gig with my brother. we some You know, we play at like weddings and things or um sometimes we play at Subi Farmer's Market.
00:02:46
Speaker
That's heaps of fun, about once a month. Or sometimes I'll be playing in church. I'm on the worship team as a drummer. Yeah, so generally on the weekends I'm doing some some sort of musical thing.
Swimming Adventures and Health
00:03:00
Speaker
Other than that, I've taken up swimming. Not that I'm good at it, but I've been trying just get a bit healthier. did this for like, I reckon I'm not a good swimmer, but I'm with you. I took it up but at a point in my life when I was just like very stressed out.
00:03:16
Speaker
And I was like, there's something really lovely about it. We were like, Yeah. Yeah. I feel like someone like someone should just record. I love the sound of blowing bubbles in the water. just want to put your head in the water.
00:03:32
Speaker
i can only really do freestyle, but I love that sound. like You're blowing bubbles in the water and it's so like calming. and how did I don't know. love that sound. Yeah. See, you're doing better than me because I didn't even do freestyle. I literally, because I tried to do it, but then I had to ask my nephew. I was like, do you breathe out while you're doing freestyle? I had forgotten, but I just did breaststroke and I just loved it.
00:03:58
Speaker
Yeah. That's cool.
00:04:01
Speaker
ah That's that's kind of like the froggy one, right? Sorry, I don't know. No, no. should really learn the terms. froggy one is like, that's butterfly. That's fancy. Oh, that's what I see most people. I can only do freestyle. I don't even think I'm doing it correctly. Yeah.
00:04:16
Speaker
ah Very my one slow and desperate.
00:04:24
Speaker
See, the trick is you have to go nice and early in the morning because that's when the old people go ah and then no one cares what you're doing. And it's great. It's so great. They literally do not care. I actually go after school, so I do see students there.
00:04:37
Speaker
And but I saw, yeah, and I'm, you know, I really like my hair and I feel like my hair is one of my, the best, one of my favourite physical features. So I want to protect it So I'm in this bright red swim cap with goggles.
00:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, and sometimes i see parents there. Sometimes I see once a few weeks ago, there's a lot like one one of my former students works as a lifeguard there.
00:05:04
Speaker
So I was like, oh, I'm in a swim cap. This is so embarrassing. He was so polite. But then, yeah, then I quickly walked a little bit, took the swim cap off, came back and then we had like a you know proper hello and a chat. But anyway, just to give you an image. Oh, that's so great.
00:05:19
Speaker
Yeah. I'm here for it. I'm like, that's great. Breaststroke is good. You can even do breaststroke very lazily with your head out the water. So if you ever need, that could be your way. Anyway, I've taken us on a complete tiki tour.
00:05:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's definitely good for the hair.
Musical Family Background
00:05:34
Speaker
Now, I do need to know, how did you end up with such a musical life? Because you were doing music almost every day of the week. And I don't think that that doesn't come easily. Like most musicians I know are doing a combination of multiple things. Like how how did you even get such a musical life?
00:05:50
Speaker
I'm very blessed because i grew up in a musical family. my My dad is a musician. My dad plays guitar and sings and think...
00:06:04
Speaker
Before I was born, he was in lots of bands and, you know, as a guitarist and a singer and that kind of thing. But then, and maybe when I was really little, but as I started growing up, he started doing solo guitar, like working as a just as a solo artist where he plays and sings by himself.
00:06:21
Speaker
So I sort of grew up with all this music around me and he taught me or and my brother to sing and taught us a little bit. He taught me a little bit of guitar, but I wasn't very persistent but my brothers continued and all of my siblings are into music as well that that's definitely something that we all have in common and a key way that we all spend time with each other through musical my youngest brother joel is at wopper at the moment finishing off his degree in jazz drums and my sister's a she my sister's studying music as well at uwa and she's a singer songwriter as well ah yeah that's danny isn't it
00:06:59
Speaker
yeah danny yeah it's really nice to be yeah so we we you know especially for her stuff she had a concert in my parents backyard at the start of the year so you know when having it in your your parents house like it's you're you're doing we had we had to do everything yeah oh wow oh that's a beautiful way to grow up and like so you studied did you study teaching Or like music teaching or WAPA? Like how did you do? Oh, um yes. So I i went to WAPA as a jazz vocalist.
00:07:31
Speaker
So was there from 2011 to 2015.
Books and Joy of Reading
00:07:36
Speaker
But tell me, like what – do you have a favourite book at the moment? Like what's – yeah, book, TV show, podcast? Yeah.
00:07:43
Speaker
I've been reading what you are looking for is in the library. So I haven't. That's great. I used to read a lot when I was a teenager and ah child, but I kind of had to stop. I thought, you know, year 12, pass my exams or keep reading. And I chose to pass my exams. I didn't really pick it up after that. You know, i i went into once you leave school, everything changes and everything.
00:08:07
Speaker
Didn't really get back into it. But since since becoming a writer for stories I'd tell you for dinner, I thought, okay, should probably start reading again. And it's it's you know it's good to be, it's better to be looking at paper rather than blue light.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, Pinterest. I know. I know. It's hard. Pinterest. But, yeah, so I found this book at the library. What you are looking for is in the library.
00:08:34
Speaker
In the library. And it had, like, one week only sticker on it. i was like, oh, so it's in demand. Let me get it. I really like it. It's really cute. I think it's originally written in Japanese by Michiko Aoyama.
00:08:49
Speaker
Wow. And then someone's translated it to English. Each chapter is about a different person they're different stage of life. One lady, she's in her early 20s and she's working at a shop, wants to change careers.
00:09:04
Speaker
So she goes to the library to like get books on upskilling. In each story, all of these people will go to this same community center that has a library attached and they'll all meet this particular librarian.
00:09:16
Speaker
We'll give them the books they're looking for as well as like a random book. And usually but and they're always taken by, oh, this book's a bit random. Why has she recommended it and they'll read it? And they'll find that by reading the random book that they've been recommended, it will have it will help them with other aspects of their life. And, yeah, it's just really sweet. It's just really cute. She's like a book therapist.
00:09:40
Speaker
That's amazing. window This is the job that I need in my life because basically my friends come to my house and then I just like, I don't want to say aggressively, but very assertively lend books. I'm like, you need this book.
00:09:53
Speaker
This book, you would love this book. But, you know, no one really has responded in the same way where they're like, my whole life has been changed by reading this book that you recommended.
00:10:03
Speaker
That's what I mean. It can be life-changing. They are. They're my favourites. So I have two library memberships because, you know, that's how I am.
00:10:14
Speaker
So i'm I'm down with that book. That makes sense. You are a writer, so. This is true. like Yeah, I suppose I can say I am a writer now, yeah, because I write stuff.
00:10:25
Speaker
But I was always a reader first. and so Same. Everybody starts reading and then being like, this is fun.
Music's Role in Family Connections
00:10:32
Speaker
I could do this. Was music the same for you where you just listened to so much music almost by admosis in your family where you were like, I could do this?
00:10:41
Speaker
I don't know. I think I saw dad really enjoying it. And I think because my dad enjoyed it, and then one day, i don't know if he initiated it or if I asked, but I said, can you teach me to sing? he's like, sure.
00:10:54
Speaker
And he taught me to sing Blowing in the Wind because he loves Bob Dylan. um And that was the first of a song I learned. And then, you know, I had this exercise book and I think I might have been five or six. So he'd print out the words and I'd do it in the book. And then, of course, because I'm five or six, I'd draw pictures of the other song. Like one will help.
00:11:13
Speaker
words and the other page will have a picture I'm drawing to match because I'm five. That's so cute. That's so cute. My brother is one and a half years younger and than me. So he taught both of us guitar. We learned a few chords.
00:11:27
Speaker
Then in Sri Lanka, we had early 2000s. We had all these like power cuts. So every day, i don't know, seven, eight o'clock, whenever the power would go off. So you had to have candles. So that became my, like, when the power cut was on, my dad would teach us guitar.
00:11:44
Speaker
It was quite sweet. Like, yeah. That really sweet connection time out of something could been really tricky. It's always been a way, it but definitely with my brother and with my dad as well, it's just been our thing that we do together and our way of connecting, our way of spending time together.
00:12:05
Speaker
that we do together it's that's so beautiful yeah it's like maybe this is like ah a women like being a woman or like a female thing but I always think oh like to be close to someone we have to talk a lot and share lots of stuff and of course i'm I'm really close to my family and we I share a lot of things with them but musical projects has been a way to get close to them and stay close to them without necessarily talking in that sense yes don't know if that makes sense yeah no it really does it's like that
Connection to God Through Music
00:12:40
Speaker
C.S. Lewis quote and I'm gonna butcher it but he was kind of like
00:12:44
Speaker
friendship is not like you two looking at each other but almost like you two people looking out at the world or like having a similar project in common. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:56
Speaker
And you're like there is something really in that, like sometimes how you make really good friends by, you know, you're studying or serving or like creating something together and along the long way you become really good friends.
00:13:07
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I really feel like my siblings are, Some of my closest friends. I love that. I really hope that for my kids. That's so beautiful that's just beautiful.
00:13:22
Speaker
my My dad hopes that for his kids too.
00:13:28
Speaker
When we fight, he tells us that his hope is that we'll all be good friends and that kind of thing. Oh, he'll probably listen to this. I'm going to steal his line. but That is great. I'm going to tell my my three boys, when you fight, I want you all to...
00:13:44
Speaker
I want you all to be friends. Yeah. Yeah. It's not really a segue. It's kind of like kind of related. But what are you doing when you feel like most like yourself, kind of like this is what I was made to do? What makes you feel the most alive?
00:13:57
Speaker
Listening to music and also love singing and I love playing the drums and I ah really love, I think when I do my own original gigs, there's just something about singing something that you're very deeply connected to.
00:14:12
Speaker
I think I feel of all the things I can do, probably singing, of all the things I can do, singing is probably what I'm best at. So I'm good at it. and Yeah.
00:14:24
Speaker
You know, I still have to work on this, you know, still a long way to go with singing and with everything. But it's something I really enjoy and I really, you know, music is a gift.
00:14:37
Speaker
And it's such a beautiful gift that God has given us and it's such a beautiful way to communicate. Sometimes you might be feeling something and it's hard to put it into words, but God has given us music so we can put it into words.
00:14:53
Speaker
Yeah. And, yeah. And, I mean, like, it's just that thing where you think, God made like things beautiful. Like you didn't have to. And you think like music is just like I can't play any instruments. Like I sang, you very happily like through high school but like, you know, can't play any instruments even I've liked it. But whatever. I'm, you know, I'm 35. I don't play instruments.
00:15:16
Speaker
But I love music. i love it. listen to it every day. you're like this is just, this is awesome that this exists, that you get to listen to it like. It's, yeah, you're right when you say it's a gift. That's something the other music teacher I work with refers to music as a gift often. And, yeah, it's really changed the way I've thought about music. And, yeah, to answer your question, I think listening to music or making music makes me feel very much alive and very much myself.
00:15:46
Speaker
And it makes me feel really close to God as well. Isn't that so fascinating? Because, yeah, when I spoke to Tenille, she said almost exactly the same thing. almost word for word, she's like, singing and making music is how I feel close to God. It's what I do that makes me feel the most alive. And like when I don't do it, I feel really restless.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:09
Speaker
like if I'm really tired or, and just some, I've been to really amazing concerts and even, even like listening to like Stevie Wonder is one of my favorite artists. And sometimes I just listen to him and I just, I just feel myself saying in my heart, God, thank you so much for making Stevie.
00:16:28
Speaker
Thank you for making Stevie Wonder. He is a gift. Like, thank you God for this amazing song. Like, and, I love when I'm feeling like I'm listening to something and I'm like, and might not even necessarily be ah Christian song.
00:16:46
Speaker
but no. But the music is it's just perfect. It's just perfect. And I just feel in my heart, in my soul, ah feel myself thanking God for that that song and that artist and,
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it. I love when that happens. I know, funnily enough, I was talking to Imogen today because she was saying, was like, what type of music do you play? And she said like kind of Motown. And I was like.
00:17:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Because like my mum, she grew up listening to Motown like which was her mum's era. And so she would come home and be like, sometimes I remember her drive, like pulling in the driveway being like, Beck, Beck, it's the Supremes, it's the Supremes. Like listen to this song because we couldn't find it on CD. And it was like, that's it.
00:17:31
Speaker
That's how, like it was so beautiful. And the same thing where you're like, this just so, so great. I cannot believe this exists. like Yeah. look Yeah. Thanks God that this is even around.
Journey to Christianity
00:17:43
Speaker
Freaking of God. Like how did you become a Christian? My earliest memories of my mum and dad, they would always pray. mum and dad would always sit on the bed before my dad puts his shoes on and then they'd pray together before he has a gig.
00:17:58
Speaker
That's probably one of my earliest memories of them together. oh my gosh. I'm sure they still do that because I don't live with them anymore because I'm married and have moved out. But I've always known that God is important to both of them individually and as a married couple as well. I've always seen them read the Bible and pray. And my mum used to read my brother and I Bible stories, our bedtime stories were Bible stories.
00:18:26
Speaker
Oh, gosh. So I definitely grew up in a house and in a family where I knew God existed. i knew that he was real. um And i at some point, my parents told me, you know, you should read your Bible every day. That's important.
00:18:40
Speaker
and Even if you grew up in a Christian family and, you know, you go to church, each individual still has to make that choice for themselves. You know, I'm going to follow Jesus and yes, this is important to me.
00:18:53
Speaker
For me, that happened. I decided, okay, yes. i saw myself as a I saw myself as a Catholic. My mom grew up in the Catholic church. My dad was a big Pentecostal Christian.
00:19:07
Speaker
I always saw myself as, yes, I believe in God and Jesus is important and I don't want to do the right thing and I went to church and Jesus is important. And I used to read the Gospels.
00:19:18
Speaker
I used read the, but I think I tried my best to do the right thing. But when I was around early 20s, maybe 20, 20 years old or 21, my parents, they decided to move.
00:19:35
Speaker
We were going to the Catholic Church and they decided that they were going to move to a Pentecostal church. And that particular church that I moved, And then because I was an adult, they said, they told me and my brother, Josh, you know, you guys are adults.
00:19:49
Speaker
it's up It's your choice whether you want to come with us or not. So, yeah, I ended up. I prayed about it and I ended up going with them to this new church. And at that church, the pastor really emphasized reading the Bible. The tagline of the church was where the word comes alive. And ala his sermons would be all about different passages from the Bible.
00:20:11
Speaker
And that really encouraged me to take reading the Bible more seriously. I feel like prior to that, I was just reading mainly the Gospels because I thought I had to, but maybe a bit of a skim.
00:20:23
Speaker
not really sure if it was going in and so when i was about
00:20:29
Speaker
So 2021, I started reading the Bible more seriously and I started venturing, you know, reading other parts of the Bible as well. And for me, as with most teenagers, and I was really self-conscious about the way I looked and, you know, my skin was not that great and I was quite overweight and things like that.
00:20:49
Speaker
And I just didn't feel beautiful. I felt very ugly. and unattractive and you know that's that I feel like sadly that's like a common thing for a lot of young people but I remember reading distinctly remember reading Songs of Solomon 6-4 so Songs of Solomon it's about King s Solomon and he's singing to his Shulamite bride.
00:21:13
Speaker
But somebody told me, either someone told me or I read somewhere that that's how God sees us. and And in Songs of Solomon 6.4, it says, at some point in that, in Songs Solomon, it says, you are altogether beautiful.
00:21:27
Speaker
There is no flaw in you. And it also says in 6.4, turn your eyes from me for they overwhelm me. Like this lady is so beautiful that he can't look at her. It's just her beauty is overwhelming. And And ah at that time, when i read when I read that, I thought, wow, like that's how God sees me. He sees me as beautiful and and he loves me.
00:21:50
Speaker
And then I read Psalm 139. o The most famous, yeah, the most, oh, definitely. That's my favourite, probably my favourite chapter in the whole Bible.
00:22:04
Speaker
The most famous ah verse from that is, I praise you, Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But before and after that line are some really, really great lines in that psalm, like, you know, before me and after me, your hand is before me and after me, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. And for me to read those things, I can still remember sitting outside in my, parents' backyard and just reading it. And I was reading the Amplified Bible, so it's got all the extra words.
00:22:31
Speaker
Yes. Even with all the extra words, it may not necessarily flow that well, but I was just reading it and going, wow. Like, I literally said, wow, out aloud. And...
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah, just that's when I realized God loves me and he really loves me. And after that, I was like, yes, I am for God and I'm serious about God. I'm serious about Jesus.
00:22:55
Speaker
That psalm in particular had a real impact on me as a young person. Wow. As I started reading the Bible more, my life was changing because I was changing on the inside because God was working in me through the Bible. Isn't that just the craziest thing is, oh, maybe I should just read, oh, maybe I will just read that Bible. I'll just have a look. But it's so fascinating. But, like, by really reading it, you're like, oh, like this is who he is. This is what he thinks is.
00:23:24
Speaker
It's that sense of you're not changing out of, obligation or fear you're like oh really loves me i can let go of these things yes 100 so wild so so wild so Who is someone who's encouraged you or inspired you in your Christian walk and
Influence of Mother's Spirituality
00:23:42
Speaker
why? My mum, Miriam.
00:23:44
Speaker
She grew up having a relationship with God. I could see a real change in her after we moved to this new church. And Jesus did something in her life as well around that time. And I i would have been maybe early 20s, but I could see a big change in her life as well.
00:23:59
Speaker
before and after God working in her life. And now one of the things that I love the most about my mom is if something is happening, her first instinct is to pray. doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter what's going on, she'll always pray. And, you know, when things, if things go wrong, like we're doing a gig and the sound's not working, I'll send her a message, please pray, the sound's not working.
00:24:21
Speaker
We're running ahead. And know she will pray. I know she will be praying. And, yeah, and that's something... And she's such a prayer warrior and that's something i want to do more of. And I would love to get to a place where my initial instinct is not to panic but to just drop everything and pray and just ask Jesus to help me.
00:24:42
Speaker
Oh, that's who i want to be Yeah. that's who I want to be. That's who want to be. I want to be like one of those old lady prayer warriors being like, yes, yes, and being like, now have you prayed about it?
00:24:53
Speaker
Yes. Yes. so Or like, um so Yeah, I realise I'm like I'm not where I was right now. say to people, like, have you prayed about it? But I'm like I'm just copying, like, all the older ladies around me. If I have a problem, they're like, have you prayed about it? I'm like, no.
00:25:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. ah Yeah, that shift for your mum, that's <unk>s just a lie. Can you tell us about, like, a hard season or suffering you've walked through and, like, kind of parallel to that, like how did you experience God's faithfulness in that season?
Struggles with Impatience in Career
00:25:27
Speaker
For me, music and particularly singing original music is something that has a very special place in my heart. oh By nature, i am a very impatient person.
00:25:39
Speaker
My husband's favourite word is later. One of his favourite words. And my favourite word is now. LAUGHTER
00:25:50
Speaker
you know, it the later and the now often comes up in like house stuff, like chores and things. But like in life, I'm quite impatient. I love things that like I love to have a plan. I love to know what's happening tomorrow. I love to know what's going to happen in 10 years.
00:26:06
Speaker
But, you know, God doesn't work that way. ah You're describing my oh I love like We're the process of moving house soon and, like, it's it was hard for a while because like we didn't have a concrete date that we were moving or anything, and you know, because you have to wait until, like, the house gets painted and all this stuff. And I'm like, when's the actual date? went And he's like, I don't. My husband's like, I'm not sure. I don't know. We have to wait and see. Like, yeah.
00:26:35
Speaker
But anyway, that's something I'm working through. But, yeah, so we with writing, with original music, I've been I really feel like soon after I became, like soon after I started taking my faith seriously and became a Christian, I distinctively remember telling God, it's my heart's desire to write songs about you and for you, worship songs.
00:26:57
Speaker
And i start I did write some songs and, you know, I wrote some songs that were in recitals. After leaving WAPA, nothing really happened after that. I tried to get the ball rolling and approached a few venues, but I think looking back now, the way you have to you know You have to be professional with the way you word the email. And I think the way I worded things was a bit vague. And so I didn't really hear back. And I was kind of discouraged by that. I could see other people around me doing things and they're writing and they're releasing and they're recording. And and I wanted to do all the same things, but I just didn't know how to, it just wasn't happening.
00:27:34
Speaker
and ill Yeah, yeah. I was quite discouraged and, you know, at times a bit resentful and discouraged. And I kept writing, though, and God kept giving me songs.
00:27:45
Speaker
But, yeah, God is so good because he'll never give you more than you can handle. and And even with encouragement, it's always, like, just enough to keep going, which would be nice if it was a lot.
00:27:58
Speaker
But he knows he knows my nature and he knows my level of maturity. Too much would cause pride and you know But a little bit will help me to keep going and to stay humble. And it's been a journey and it's been like small steps. So first, my dad was doing a um degree in sound a couple of years back and he needed to record some music as part of his course. So my brother and I, we recorded some of my songs that way and got released. Maybe a few years later, an opportunity came up to perform my original music and
00:28:31
Speaker
And so i did that. And like small little, little steps. Yeah. You know, but those were more collaborative things with my brother, with my dad. And then I think one day my brother said, well, why don't you release stuff under your own name? And yeah.
00:28:44
Speaker
So I started working towards that in and I released my first song, My One and Only One Jesus, which Imogen played percussion for. Oh, wow. Then I've been releasing under my own name and especially like I'm so grateful. A lot of amazing things happened last year. Like i had the opportunity to play at the Ellington and I will again on the 1st of July. And I'm so grateful. And that was such an amazing opportunity. And I know that all glory to God for opening up that door. But leading up to that, I was expecting to be able to do big gigs and i was just starting out.
00:29:19
Speaker
And then you comparing myself to other people and the Bible says not to compare because everyone's on their own journey. And I remember feeling kind of discouraged because I was comparing it instead of being happy with where I was at. One day I was just really discouraged and I was just telling God, God, should I keep going with this music thing?
00:29:37
Speaker
I'm not sure. Should I keep going? And I was just feeling down and I went to watch one of friends playing. watch one of my friends playing another Christian. and And my friend's name is Melody and the band's name is Remedy Music.
00:29:52
Speaker
And I went to watch them and, you know, after she performed, you know, i went and said, oh, you guys were amazing. And then she said, I'd sort of asked God, like, God, please, on the way there, God, please show me if I should keep doing this music stuff, my original stuff. I'm feeling quite discouraged and should I keep going with this?
00:30:09
Speaker
And then she just said, can I pray for you? ah And as she was praying, I started crying because god answering This was God encouraging me and showing me to keep going. And God is so faithful.
Overcoming Discouragement in Music
00:30:21
Speaker
Like he will always send you encouragement.
00:30:23
Speaker
It might not be in a big way like you're thinking, but he will always be faithful. Like if he's given, it if he's, you know, he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.
00:30:35
Speaker
Yes. Isn't that so beautiful? Like that's such a big, bold prayer. You're like, and especially if you're like, the thing that I do to feel most alive is music and I want to make this music for you.
00:30:47
Speaker
And yet like you're so strangled by all of the comparison. I mean, I can emphasize it like it's similar where you're like, oh like if you start to really compare, you just think what's even the point? Like everyone else is doing so much better and there's so much farther ahead and what is even, yeah. So I love to pray this really big prayer and he met you in this really beautiful intimate way like well I am here with you and this is where I would have you And sometimes like you you never know the impact you're having.
00:31:18
Speaker
My dad always says like when I'm putting on shows, like don't worry about numbers. What if you're just putting on this show just for one person to be encouraged and for one person to come to know Jesus? And that might not be what I want to hear, but it's true. Like we need to be faithful. um Yeah, and the faithfulness is showing up. You're being faithful to what God's asked you to do. Amen, you too.
00:31:42
Speaker
Yeah, that's how feel with the magazine. I'm like, okay, i'm I'm scared, but i'm I'm doing it. I trust that. I have a real sense of peace about it. I'm like, no, I feel like this is what I'm meant to be doing. Even like, it's interesting. So my mother-in-law would say that, I remember whinging to her about one like, I think I just, maybe I had my oldest. I just had one baby and I was just, you know, had long days at home by myself and I was whinging to her about like, you know, like I think all these people should come into my Bible study and, you know, like you pray that those people come.
00:32:10
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, see you know, she's a pastor's wife, she's from like, you know, small town, and she was like, God will send whoever needs to be there. And it just blew my mind. I was like, oh, you know, it's not about like how big it is. It's the same as like your dad was saying. It's just, well, God will send whoever needs to be there and, you know, he's in charge. You're like, oh, like it just takes a lot of pressure off. Yeah, sometimes our pride doesn't want to hear that though, but it's the truth.
00:32:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:41
Speaker
like, yeah, would just be great. Like, yes, yes, yes, he was saying who needs to be there, but also could he just send everyone? That'd be great. Yeah, yes exactly. I'd like to have all the numbers lined up. That would be wonderful for my ego. I'd appreciate that.
00:32:54
Speaker
ah you so like of interest like what do you find now that really helps you when like that's that real sense of like wanting to compare and feeling worse off like what helps with that at some point i will talk to my husband about it and he will direct me back to the bible and you know you don't you don't always realize sometimes when you're going off track you don't always realize and you sort of need someone to tell you hey you're a bit off track here so to speak but yeah if I if I don't realize it for myself somebody else will you're being prideful or you know you're worrying about the wrong thing and always comes back to the bible and just just getting into God's word again it's what you're saying is it's that realigning where you're like oh I've gotten off track and I'm gonna open up my bible again and just kind of slowly keep plotting
00:33:41
Speaker
yeah I guess get your heart realigned with what God wants. And yeah, it's important to not just music, but you know, other areas of my life, I can only do my best and I have to just trust God and like goes back to, you know, my mom. I just, it's important that I i rely on God and I look to Jesus and the Holy Spirit for guidance.
00:34:03
Speaker
And I pray more rather than just trying to do it on my own strength. Um, Yeah, and that through line again and again, you're like, if you're looking at the Bible and you're looking at Jesus and you're like, e loves me. Yeah.
00:34:20
Speaker
He really loves me Then it's okay. You create the thing, you make the thing. and you know, God's end is whoever's supposed to be there. Yeah.
00:34:32
Speaker
the work isn't a like i'm yes i'm particularly sporty but you're like yeah i'm just practicing showing up i'm practicing faithfulness yeah doing what god's asking me to do and being okay with it amen yeah yeah well i mean just kind of like as the last thing but what would you say is a word of encouragement for someone who's Perhaps it's like a woman who's starting out in a creative field or maybe in in a creative field for a while in that like battle, like discouragement and comparison.
Advice for Creatives Facing Challenges
00:35:06
Speaker
Like what's a word of encouragement you could offer to her? Keep going. If you can find other godly people to be there around you, have a support system and have people to encourage you around you if you can. Like for me, my husband is my biggest supporter and encourager. My family encouraged me. i feel like when you're starting out, you have to sort of push to the start because at the start of whatever you're doing, you're not going to be very good.
00:35:30
Speaker
you're more likely to fail or have setbacks and you got to not be discouraged by that and continue. Yeah, just you never know. Like for me, but especially with my music, God did so many amazing things last year that I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined possible. You just never know what God's going to do. So just have to hang in there and be encouraged by God's word and Have some people around you to encourage you because God can do something amazing with like the snap of a finger.
00:35:59
Speaker
For him, he's outside of time, but you just never know what's around the corner. That's so encouraging. That's great. Thank you.
Potential Future Guest: Miriam De Silva
00:36:08
Speaker
who you nominate for this next? Do you reckon there's someone who would be good to encourage you, someone who would be good to do with you?
00:36:14
Speaker
I reckon my mum would be a good person to hear from. She's lived a very interesting life.
00:36:25
Speaker
ah She grew up in Sri Lanka and then she moved here and I reckon she'd have a lot of interesting. She's a writer like you. She's got a background in journalism. Oh, wow. Yeah, four kids. That's really cool.
00:36:38
Speaker
Yeah, I reckon she'd have a lot of interesting things to say. would love to hear from her. That would be great. Miriam De Silva. Hi, I'm going to wrap this up there.
Conclusion and Farewell
00:36:50
Speaker
Thank you so much. That was really really fun thank you so much for having me that's it from us friends we hope you enjoyed today's episode and if you did you can sign up to our free weekly newsletter called stories i tell you at dinner so you get essays poetry podcast episodes everything photo essays straight to your inbox on wednesdays from march to november from christian women in western australia If you'd like that, the link is in the show notes.
00:37:22
Speaker
Thanks for listening, guys. Bye.