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What I Learned When I Had a Life Changing Diagnosis
99 Plays4 months ago
The After Dinner Mint is a podcast of Stories I’d Tell You at Dinner. We bring Christian women in Western Australia together through honest stories. Maddie Richards is a singer-songwriter and a regular contributor to Stories I’d Tell You at Dinner. We are interviewing all our contributors in Season 1 for you to get to know them better.
In today’s episode, we explore:
- The slowness of the creative process and how Maddie started writing and producing music
- Growing up in a Christian family but coming to faith in her twenties
- A life changing diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in her twenties, which deepened her trust in the Lord and relationship with church community.
- Her shift from wanting to do life on her own and feeling like she had to bring perfection to the Lord and her growing conviction that she can bring her mess to the Lord because he loves her.
You can listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or anywhere you get podcasts.
Check out the show notes for everything mentioned in the show.
Check out Post Swim, Maddie’s most recent single.
About Maddie
Madeleine resides in the sleepy town of Perth Western Australia where she mostly spends her days writing, singing and dancing. With a tone made to mesmerise and lyricism that is tender and true, Madeleine takes the listener to a Heavenlike sort of realm. When not creating songs, she is found down by the seaside or at her favourite local coffee shop. You can find more on Instagram @toastoastbaby
Want honest stories from Christian women in Western Australia in your inbox on Wednesdays? Sign up here.
Music: Come Back by Ketsa. Licensed under a Creative Commons License Non-Commercial, No-Derivatives 4.0 International License.
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Transcript
Realization of God's Unconditional Love
00:00:00
Speaker
I think maybe a part of me thought that you used to think that I had to come to God ah holding all together and having it all figured out and being well packaged and being like a good person.
00:00:12
Speaker
He loves it when we come to him not that way.
Introduction to 'After Dinner Mint' Podcast
00:00:20
Speaker
This is the After Dinner Mint, a podcast of stories I tell you at dinner. Think of the mint as the stories you tell after you've been kicked out of the restaurant, holding your mint, standing the street, telling more honest stories with your friends than you did at the table.
00:00:34
Speaker
It's not a sermon. It's not advice. and smell It's not a tough help. We're processing what we're learning about faith and life, honestly, in community, to encourage you to do that with your God and your community.
Meet Maddy Richards
00:00:52
Speaker
Welcome the After Dinner Mint, the podcast for stories I tell you at dinner. I'm your host, but today's guest is Maddy Richards, who's also one of our regular writers. Welcome, May. Hello. Thank you so much for having me.
00:01:05
Speaker
was so excited to have you. Tell us, what does a typical week look like for you? What things make up your week? I'm currently unemployed, so at the moment it looks like lots of trips to the beach, lots of writing, songwriting, and singing, playing guitar, resting my body, hanging out with friends and family.
00:01:28
Speaker
so how long have you been playing guitar for? I was probably in my mid-teens, so I had ah lesson we friends from my church.
00:01:39
Speaker
Well, I had a couple of lessons with her, and then I just continued playing from those lessons. I didn't have very many. So yeah, kind of semi-self-taught. Really, the extent of it is just, I just know a few chords and I kind of use them as a tool to help me.
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah, songwriting. Wow.
Maddy's Songwriting Journey Begins
00:01:58
Speaker
And like, how did you get into songwriting? Great question. i I had always wanted to songwrite.
00:02:07
Speaker
I remember watching shows like The X Factor on TV when I was a child thinking, oh my gosh, that was so cool. Like whenever people auditioned with an original song, was like, that's so cool. I want to do that. But I just, I don't know how even, I wouldn't even know how to do that.
00:02:24
Speaker
So it's it had been a dream for a long time, but I didn't start songwriting until I was 21. Yeah, I was living abroad in London and the lady that I was living with, she encouraged me to write my first songs. She found out that I played guitar and sung and she said, you should write.
00:02:42
Speaker
And I thought, oh, I just saw it as such a daunting, overwhelming thing. And I just didn't think I could do something like that. It was the fear of not being good at it and not, like, failing.
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, and just not being able to. Like, what if I do this? Carry it out for the desk, I guess. But instead of anything new, you have to buy it.
00:03:06
Speaker
It's neat. Yeah, and really bad and it's something that I really want to do and it's something that I've desired to do for so long and I then do it and find out that I'm actually not that good at it.
00:03:18
Speaker
That could be quite disheartening. so But I just thought, no, you've got to face your fears and you've got to try new things and start somewhere like every beginner starts somewhere. so Absolutely.
00:03:31
Speaker
and But I'm so glad I did start because it's my passion. Yeah. I love that. And I have been telling my little boy, like he's wild perfectionist like me, and I've been telling him, we've just got to try stuff. Like, like you know, you've got to be willing to be bad at something to be good at it. But I'm learning along with him.
00:03:48
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Because that's how we learn. Yeah. Like, how could we be good at stuff if we've never tried it? So tell me, what something is it you've got that everybody asks for the recipe?
Maddy's Beef Massaman Curry Recipe
00:03:58
Speaker
I make a beef massaman curry.
00:04:00
Speaker
It's very easy. It's cheap cooking. I'm not the best cook, but this is this is my go-to because it's so easy. It's this specific curry paste that I use.
00:04:12
Speaker
And i the name has escaped me. But it's so tasty and you just, yeah, you just fry off the curry paste and then, yeah, you fry the meat of choice and then you cook in the coconut milk and then you leave it on low and slow for like four hours. And it's, if you're cooking with it, that makes it really, yeah, so yummy. Yeah.
00:04:32
Speaker
so yeah yeah I'm a big fan of anything. Very cool prosely cooker. This is what I need in my life. I usually eat it with sweet potato because I'm not supposed to eight grain. I try to be paleo and be challenging because I love baked goods.
00:04:47
Speaker
Me too. and really do. That would be really hard.
Songwriting as Joy and Healing
00:04:50
Speaker
So tell me, what is it that you're doing when you feel most alive where you're just kind of like, oh, this is what I was meant to do? yeah going back to the songwriting that makes me come alive, i am most myself when I am sitting in my songwriting corner in my bedroom writing my songs, I literally have a corner in my room that sit in.
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah, just pour my thoughts and my feelings out in Tito Sihi Corner. It is a tool to help me to heal and process and express my feelings and my thoughts and my emotions. And it's just such a beautiful way to feel close to God, I think, as well.
00:05:33
Speaker
i loved that and I love that. God just made everything beautiful. if you read in the descriptions of the temple or about God or anything like that, you think, isn't that so cool? You like image him when you're making something beautiful.
00:05:45
Speaker
Yeah, because he is a creator. Like he created us. Yeah. So it's just, i love that in that kind of like really simple way, you've got your little nook and you're like, I don't need much, but I can, i can write and I can make beautiful music and I can put it all together and just feel joy. Yes, exactly that.
00:06:03
Speaker
It is joy that I feel. So how long have you been releasing albums for? like how yeah How did you get into that?
Navigating the Music Production Process
00:06:10
Speaker
i started releasing music at the end of 2022 was my first single release.
00:06:20
Speaker
Producing music actually takes time and it's not something that you can just put out like you write the song and then you have the song released the next time. That's not how the process works and I I had no idea what goes into song producing, all the different steps that it takes to get to that point.
00:06:41
Speaker
It can be like a few years in the making, even just for a single. but Wow. I think that something I'm learning at the moment is that dreams need time to brew and they need time to Yeah, it's almost like you have this idea and it,
00:06:57
Speaker
It kind of needs to sit for a while. It's almost like part of the process. Like even, you know, if you're writing a poem or if you're writing, I'm assuming that like a song is the same or an essay or like a larger dream, they just, they take a while. And then, i mean, I think I thought about stories I'd tell you at dinner for five years before I did it.
00:07:18
Speaker
I wrote for myself for a while, but I really was like, really want to run a magazine. But it sounds like the writing of the music is the same where it's that bigger dream. Yeah, exactly. It's so encouraging to hear when other creatives share how long they've been thinking about something that they've wanted to do. Like it's not just...
00:07:39
Speaker
oh, I had the thought and now I'm going to do it and it's going to be out next month. No, it actually takes time and it takes, as I said before, brewing and high kombucha.
00:07:51
Speaker
ah And sour cream. Yeah, fermentation. That's the word, fermentation. Yes. I'm a tasty treat. I do love a good food analogy.
00:08:02
Speaker
yeah We shift gears just slightly.
Faith and Family Background
00:08:04
Speaker
How did you become a Christian? I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up going to church, so I was always around the faith.
00:08:13
Speaker
Probably gave my heart to the Lord in my early teens, and then I got baptized, but I would say that I didn't fully enter in like genuinely and sincerely until my mid-twenties.
00:08:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think that growing up it wasn't my fate. It was because I was just exposed to it and it's because my parents I went to church, so that's what I did.
00:08:43
Speaker
So glad to say that I found God for myself later on in life. So that's really special. I didn't want to believe in something because ah had been told my whole life that that was the thing to believe.
00:08:54
Speaker
Because my parents believed, I wanted to believe in it because it it was my choice. It's been a journey, but only recently, like the past... Five years have I really entered into a more ah sincere and deeper, actually want to follow Jesus.
00:09:13
Speaker
Not because you my parents did or because I grew up in church, but because I actually have experienced the love of God. Yeah. What do you reckon contributed to that or helped? What were the things happening that brought you to that more sincere faith rather than just these the the Sunday school answers that I know?
00:09:30
Speaker
That's a good question. i think it was just encountering God. I encountered him in my family church growing up and i definitely experienced his love at those points.
00:09:42
Speaker
But I think also, it sounds strange, but I think the more challenges I've gone through my life, the more I've come to realize that oh, I actually am in need of a saviour.
00:09:57
Speaker
When you're a child, you don't really think that you need it because your point of view and your world is so different as a child. as opposed to as an adult when you've been through a lot more life experiences and you've been through it hard things and challenging things and you have to pay bills and you have to like face a lot more as an adult as opposed to a child. So I think maybe in my adulthood I kind of came to more of a realisation of, oh, I am in need of relationship with God, with my Creator.
00:10:27
Speaker
But I'm so grateful for the Christian foundation that I had growing up to help me have understanding of the theology and the biblical principles as well. So that made it easier.
00:10:38
Speaker
It's really a lovely. play Like, I love that your family didn't make you a Christian. Yeah, you had that framework that when hard things did come or when that real sense of like, oh, I really need you weren't left completely in the lurch where you're like there is no hope, there is no meaning, purpose. You're like, oh, this is real to me in like another way. That's exactly it.
00:11:05
Speaker
Yeah. So what do you reckon, can what is something that God has taught you through a hard season or suffering that like you don't think you would have learned otherwise?
Experiencing God's Comfort in Health Struggles
00:11:14
Speaker
He teaches me so much. But one thing that comes to mind that That he actually cares and that he's not deterred by mess and our dysfunction and our brokenness.
00:11:29
Speaker
And he actually loves to be with us even in those moments of mess and pain pain. What is going on? i think that's a truth that has really been sinking in for me. Yeah.
00:11:43
Speaker
Was there anything that kind of prompted that? For me personally, it's health related. The fluctuating ah symptoms that I go through, that is something that has been a constant for me.
00:11:55
Speaker
That he's not like, oh, I don't want to be near you because you're not maybe able to do what so-and-so can do because of your health struggles.
00:12:07
Speaker
I think that he just yeah he just loves to be with us in whatever season we're going through and he wants to comfort for us. And I have definitely felt that comfort from him.
00:12:19
Speaker
It's so fascinating, right, because have a general sense of that need shifting into adulthood. But it's almost like that deeper revelation of, like, how much God loves you and how deeply he's...
00:12:36
Speaker
desires to be near to you like also came in the same time of like, this is so hard. In fact, like I'm with like the psalmist. I was reading Psalm 6 this morning and it was like, how long, oh Lord, how long can i bear up under this? How long can I hold this?
00:12:56
Speaker
Yeah. And I love the psalms because... It's so relatable. Yet that book of the Bible is just so real and raw and it makes you feel so seen when you're going through thick of it.
00:13:17
Speaker
And that prayer, how long, Lord? like I've definitely prayed that a few times. So there's always prayers that follow that are, thank you, God. like Thank you for what you're doing. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for redeeming me. like Thank you for being with me. you know There's always...
00:13:38
Speaker
There's like the how long and like where are you but then also thank you, like you're so good. So it's just like it's, as I said before, fluctuating all over the place. But ultimately he is so good and he is worthy of our praise always, even in the lamenting.
00:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, like I think it's, I'm going to mess this up but it's like that art analogy where you've You know, there's like sharp relief, you know what mean? Like that sharp juxtaposition of that really the light and the dark together.
00:14:15
Speaker
it seems to be in the real valleys, those mercies are shown up that you you wouldn't have seen otherwise or you probably wouldn't have really like sanctined so much for.
00:14:26
Speaker
But they're just theyre in that contrast. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you definitely, it sounds like a cliche, but you definitely appreciate things so much more.
00:14:39
Speaker
Like when you have the victories, you appreciate them so much more. Like even just the small victories, like being able to get to the beach, you know, for a swim. Like, oh, thank you, bud, that I was able to get here today.
00:14:53
Speaker
Like, so grateful for that ability. Yeah. And it's also that other thing that you were talking about, when you're well, it sounded like it was easy to think, I can come near to God because, you know, like I'm whole and I have everything that I need.
00:15:08
Speaker
But then suffering kind of revealed to you almost like that true position, like, oh, How can I come near you? Like, I am really messy and I'm angry and I'm lamenting and I don't know what to do with any of this.
00:15:21
Speaker
Yeah, it's definitely felt that way. Yeah, it's almost like I think maybe a part of me thought that used to think that I had to come to God ah holding all together and having it all figured out and being well packaged and being like a good person.
00:15:37
Speaker
He loves it when we come to him not that way because he... He knows that we're so in need of his love and his comfort. And it's like a verse is coming to mind.
00:15:52
Speaker
It's the one about being made strong in your weakness. um And I'm not good at remembering specific verses and specific like where it is in the Bible, but it's true that you will be made strong in your weakness or something along those lines.
00:16:10
Speaker
Corinthians, there you go. Thank you. Yeah, my power is made perfect. There's always someone who knows. i can say it and then someone's like, oh, it's here or it's there. I'm like, great, we need more people like you. So I'm reminded of that, that he sent his son to save us because we needed the saving. So it's like, of course, we have to come to him with our weakness and our come to him humbly and be like, I literally feel like I have nothing today. Like I have nothing.
00:16:39
Speaker
to give to you, but you love me anyway, which is just crazy. It makes me like emotional for the bad. The truth that we're just loved in not because of what we can do or not because of our cleverness or how important we are, but we're just love even in our sin and even in the darkest parts.
00:17:02
Speaker
We're loved and we're precious to him, which is a truth that i yeah, Yeah. And still learning how to believe. Yeah. Like, that's, the Bible, man, is just full of paradoxes. Like, ah more love than we could imagine and precious to him. And, yeah, he doesn't need us for anything.
00:17:21
Speaker
Like, we don't bring anything. So like throughout this, you know it sounds like quite life-changing health issues and this diagnosis. I mean, along with the Psalms and God, who who's someone who's encouraged you or inspired you in your Christian walk?
Community Support Through Church
00:17:35
Speaker
and Why? ah There's few people, but one person, her name's Anna.
00:17:40
Speaker
She leads the church that I grew to with her husband and she has just been a constant encourager and challenger for me in my walk. She'll just like send me these random reels and songs and Every now and then, but every single time they speak directly to what I'm going through in that moment. It's almost as if Holy Spirit is speaking to her.
00:18:08
Speaker
I mean, it it's so true. It is. That just must be what it is. That it's so beautiful when people can bless others because God is prompting them to send them something random and they might not know how it will speak to them, but it just has blessed me so much and...
00:18:25
Speaker
Yeah, she's just helped me immensely during this time. Actually, just my whole church community have been a rock. Wow. What you reckon are the things that they did that have been helpful, like the church community?
00:18:37
Speaker
They've just loved me so well, just in so many different small ways. But those small ways, they add up and it feels so big and it feels so all-embracing. And it just confirms the fact that we're meant to be in community and we're meant to do that with people and we weren't created to do it alone.
00:18:58
Speaker
And I think before I found that and before I believed that truth, I was so in a place of individualism and, oh, I can do it my own. I'll be okay. Like, you know, that prideful place. and i'm okay. I got this.
00:19:11
Speaker
But when I surrendered and chose to commit to like a church community, I've just been so richly blessed. And I've seen what God says about that. I've seen that play out and I've seen the fruit of that in a really practical way.
00:19:26
Speaker
just felt so embraced. And I started going to the church that I'm at now during my diagnosis. And it was just, I was going to another church before that. I sensed God telling me to go to the church that I was previously at.
00:19:41
Speaker
It's been a bit of a journey and I wasn't really sure why. And I wasn't sure if it was the right decision because I was loving the church I was at before. I was like, okay, I will go to this church. I'll go back. Went back, took the step of faith.
00:19:52
Speaker
And it was hard at first reintegrating and yeah, leaving the church I was at previously. But I can now see why God was telling me to move because he knew, he knew that I hadn't had my diagnosis yet.
00:20:09
Speaker
And he knew that I would need that specific family as opposed to being in a mega church and maybe not getting as much care as you would in a smaller, more family-orientated church.
00:20:29
Speaker
Yeah, it was just a good thing for me at the time and it just shows the kindness of God. I love that. in that kind of family church where God has brought you, season of walking through grief with a diagnosis and also, you know, it sounds like there's times where it's hard to get out or it's hard to, you know, like you said, getting to the beach.
00:20:54
Speaker
Church is hard. How have they loved you well when you you're in a season where can't really give very much at all? Yeah, I never once felt judged or like, oh she's not at church, like she should be at church. It never felt that way.
00:21:09
Speaker
But I felt lovingly challenged at times as well, you know, because with health issues, it can sometimes be hard to navigate whether it's actually like something that you push through and you go through.
00:21:24
Speaker
Or if it's something that, oh, actually, no, like I need to stay home today, so I'm um not going to go. Like it's it it can be hard to navigate what is the voice of the enemy, like keeping you from something or or if it actually is because of your health.
00:21:38
Speaker
But also just in practical ways, like offering lifts as well. You know, like if you can't drive a fair distance, we can carpool. Like there's people who can drive you to church or there's people that can help you get to community group.
00:21:52
Speaker
And I did find it really challenging at times to go to community group and to go to church on Sundays. But yeah, I think the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more that you want to be there and you want to be with your family. For example, I went and visited my old church a couple of weeks ago and I I was like, oh, I just miss my community. Like, yeah, I miss my church, you know, and I've never had that feeling before. I never thought that I would because I used to have quite a negative viewpoint in regards to church.
00:22:27
Speaker
But like as a you know, a thing that you do on Sundays, not so much church as being the body, but more so church as being like a building or an event.
00:22:38
Speaker
I really love that. I love that in those like really small ways, you know yeah never felt like a burden. They didn't judge you, but they were also like, we think this is important enough. like it's It's good for you to come and worship with us. It's good for you to be with us. We'll go out of our way to make an effort to bring you in when you can come.
00:22:57
Speaker
Yeah, and when you couldn't get there, it sounds like even with Anna, she'd even send you reels and just like, I haven't forgotten you. Like, I hope that this is encouraging for you. Absolutely, that as well. It never, like, you'd have people from the church community, like, checking in with you, but it never felt, like, annoying or, like, where are you? Why aren't you here? Like, because...
00:23:18
Speaker
I've kind of experienced that sort of feeling before. So it was really nice to experience it in a different way. I think the way that it's been delivered in this particular church community has been loving, like lovingly delivered and delivered from the heart of God, not delivered from a place of, well, you should be here or it'd be good for you to be here, which but it is good for me to be in community and it is good for me to be a part of the body as much as I can be.
00:23:46
Speaker
But it came from a place of like grace and the heart of God, not judgment and like rules and regulations. Yeah, like it's not coming from legalism, like me you need to be here to be seen, to tick boxes. But this is good and beautiful and if you can come, we we think it's good for you to be here.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah, exactly that. I love that.
Encouragement for Women Facing Health Challenges
00:24:12
Speaker
So what would be a word of encouragement you can offer to a woman listening, like who might be walking through a similar season of a life-changing diagnosis?
00:24:22
Speaker
Oh, it's so hard. Firstly, I just want to say it's so hard if there are women out there that are going through scary symptoms or still looking for answers and it's been years and years and years and there's there's no answer.
00:24:39
Speaker
But then also women who you know have received a diagnosis, that's also really hard. Basically, like I see you. you know I see in that pain and that unknown and that, oh, why is this happening? like This is so confusing.
00:24:54
Speaker
Yeah, there's so many questions that come with that. It sounds so cliche, but my encouragement would be just keep sitting at the feet of God. You follow Jesus.
00:25:04
Speaker
And even if you don't follow Jesus, give it a go. Just go talk to him. He'd love to hear from you. He made you, specifically speaking, to women who are within the Christian faith.
00:25:18
Speaker
Yeah, to find that place that allows you to do this, like to sit at the feet of Jesus, because sometimes... I find it, well, actually most of the time I find it helpful to go to a place to distance myself from all of the noise and all of the things that are worrying me and the distractions. And for me, it's the beach or it's sitting in my car by the ocean whatever.
00:25:44
Speaker
It's my songwriting corner. So it's those are the places that I feel closest to God and I think that's where I've experienced him most profoundly. So yeah, to find that place where you experience him most profoundly and he just wants you to pour your heart out to him and talk to him about your day, everything that happened in the mundane, the boring, the frustrating, the good, the ugly.
00:26:10
Speaker
He wants to hear about it and he doesn't chain you. He just wants to embrace you. That's a beautiful word. ah love it. Who would you nominate for this next? Who do you think would be good to hear from? want to nominate Anna.
00:26:22
Speaker
It would be so valuable to hear from her. Finds the best reels. She finds the best songs. Amazing. Amazing. I
Podcast Conclusion and Newsletter Invite
00:26:29
Speaker
would love to talk to her. yeah Thank you so much for listening to The After Dinner Mint.
00:26:33
Speaker
This has been Maddie Richards.
00:26:39
Speaker
That's it from us, friends. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, you can sign up to our free weekly newsletter called Stories I'd Tell You at Dinner. So you get essays, poetry, podcast episodes, everything, photo essays straight to your inbox on Wednesdays from March through to November from Christian women in Western Australia.
00:27:01
Speaker
If you'd like that, the link is in the show notes. Thanks for listening, guys.