Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
I Don't Want to Optimise Anymore
83 Plays9 days ago
I Don’t Want to Optimise Anymore is a conversation with Rach, Britt, and Bec about productivity and hustle culture, barriers to rest, and what we are learning about pursuing rest.
The After Dinner Mint is a podcast of Stories I'd Tell You at Dinner. We bring Christian women in Western Australia together through honest stories.
In today's episode, we explore:
🎧 What drives us to pack our schedules full, tick boxes, and get stuff done
🎧 What gets in the way of us saying no and carving out deliberate margin to rest.
🎧 What we are learning about rest, limits, finitude, and prayer.
For everything mentioned in the show today, check out our show notes.
If you enjoyed this episode, sign up for free encouragement in your inbox on Wednesdays from local Christian women. One week you get essays and poetry, the next week you get a podcast episode.
Music: Come Back by Ketsa. Licensed under a Creative Commons License Non-Commercial, No-Derivatives 4.0 International License.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'The After Dinner Mint'
00:00:00
Speaker
If you think about the fruits of the spirit, I'm the opposite in that mode. And I am suffering, but
00:00:12
Speaker
This is the After Dinner Mint, a podcast of stories I tell you at dinner. Think of the mint as the stories you tell after you've been kicked out of the restaurant, holding your mint, standing in the streets,
00:00:25
Speaker
telling more honest stories with your friends than you did at the table. It's not a sermon. It's not advice. It's not self-help. We're processing what we're learning about faith and life, honestly, in community, to encourage you to do that with your God and your community.
Guest Introduction: Rachel Britt on 'Not Optimizing'
00:00:49
Speaker
I'm here with Rachel Britt. Hey guys. Hey. So today's topic is I don't want to optimize anymore, which was kind of born out of my frustration with productivity culture.
00:01:01
Speaker
You know, like to tick boxes, but to kick things off, get a bit of a like lay of the land.
The Overwhelming Nature of Daily Routines
00:01:07
Speaker
Rach, what things make up your week? I think I might be a terrible person for the productivity episode because I have way too many things in my life.
00:01:16
Speaker
I... work part-time, but I often do way too much overtime because I really like to be helpful. And then I also am like the taxi for my children and all of their activities.
00:01:29
Speaker
And then we also have church stuff and ah Bible study midweek. And my son plays basketball. What else? And then I, like, make lots of food.
00:01:39
Speaker
I think that's it. That too. Yes. Yeah. yeah like me food I feel tired just listening to that. I can't buy it all the time. So that's it.
00:01:49
Speaker
it's fun Yeah, I'm probably a bit similar trying to cram lots into a week. So, yeah, I work two days a week. I do the school drop-off and activities with my younger kids and we host a Bible study once a week and we go to church and then my elder daughter has some activities as well that are more after school.
00:02:15
Speaker
Try to see friends, try to exercise, have to cook meals. Also cleaning up the house and the surrounds. Seems like it never ends, to be honest.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yes. I saw this sign once and it was like, laundry is not a job, it's a state of being. and I was like, I feel that. I feel that my brain. I hate it. This morning I was informed that there was no clean clothes for lots of members of my family's because I just hadn't washed any for a while.
00:02:43
Speaker
I just keep getting it. That's fine. Turn them inside out. You'll be right. The first half of last year was so crazy that I actually was, like I was pregnant and I was due in like the middle of the year and i was like so excited to have a baby so that I could have a rest from my own life.
Life Changes and Embracing New Seasons
00:03:01
Speaker
That was clever.
00:03:04
Speaker
I was like, this is not as a sensible thing. It's also not true. No. but I was also then i like I would just have like clarity of purpose no one's going like oh no you're with a newborn we need you to do this other thing i was like I just will hang out with the baby how'd it go yeah great sure I just launched a magazine it's fine it's fine I'm not good at sitting still but no he so my youngest is like 10 months old my middle was in kindy and my oldest is year two but I think
00:03:39
Speaker
I'm in a season of things ending. The Women's Bible Study I ran ended. i was going to go back to work, but I'm not. I think it's been a really weird season, but good one. So it's currently like caring for kids, writing and podcasting, coordinating this, and I coordinate playgroup.
00:03:54
Speaker
What else? Oh, and we go to, like, you know, we go to a Bible study. My children go to school. I have to take them there. You do. They're not doing sport this year. I'm like, no.
Christianity and Productivity Culture
00:04:01
Speaker
I think this this year is probably a reaction to, like, the last few years.
00:04:06
Speaker
A hot take on an opinion, and maybe, Britt, you could speak to this first, but do you think Christianity has been impacted by productivity, hustle culture? As in we're trying to optimise our faith?
00:04:18
Speaker
Yeah, or, like, optimise or, like, try and pack in as much as we can or do more. or like kind of hustle to do Christian service? I don't know.
00:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, I find it difficult to work that out because when I first became a Christian, the church I went to had a massive emphasis on serving. i would have been like 17, 18 doing, i don't know how many hours of volunteer work I would have done a week, but hours and hours.
00:04:49
Speaker
I helped with the youth group. I would be there for an entire day on the Friday. I would then get kids to take to youth group, help run the program, drive them home, then meet with friends, but like other youth leaders go out after, hang out and then go home. And like that was kind of a normal part of my life to pack as much in as possible.
00:05:10
Speaker
And my family thought that was so weird because none of them were involved in church particularly. And so they were like, this is a cold. Why do you have to do so many things?
00:05:23
Speaker
And so it was quite a relief for me when I got to the church that I go to now because there was so much more of a focus on people being creaturely and having limits and kind of honouring the rhythms of your life rather than go, go, go optimising.
00:05:43
Speaker
And so I don't know if I mean, this youth group stuff, it's like 20 years ago, I don't think there was such a thing as this ideas around optimisation because I feel like it's a real tech bro influence on the world.
00:05:58
Speaker
It's a real one. But I do think there are still forms of Christianity where there is a massive emphasis on serving the church by kind of running yourself into the ground.
00:06:12
Speaker
in order to do so. don't feel external pressure from the church to do that now, but within my own flaws as a person, I'm prone to doing that to myself, definitely, because I'm like, everything sounds great.
00:06:28
Speaker
I would love to help. And then I'm like, why would I do this to myself? But also now I've made a commitment and the Bible's pretty clear. If you make a commitment, you should stick with it.
00:06:39
Speaker
So yeah, Yeah, i don't I don't know that it is so much in Christian culture or if it's that blurry line around service. What do you guys reckon?
The Pressure to Stay Busy: Self-Worth and Limits
00:06:49
Speaker
Well, I mean, it's the same as so many things is that it comes down to the heart of why you're doing things because I often find myself being busy and saying yes to things because a large part of how I get self-worth is being helpful and people, you know, i go, oh I can help. Yay. Like, yes, please let me help.
00:07:11
Speaker
And then you think, well, you know, it says the Bible says like all all work you do, do unto the Lord. But I was like, am I doing that or am I doing this because it makes me feel good to to feel helpful?
00:07:24
Speaker
And then often I say yes and then have a really terrible attitude about it at the time when I'm doing So I don't. I don't know if that counts. Yeah. ah yeah And like I came across this verse, actually just this morning in my Bible reading, but you know when you like you read a verse and you're like, oh, wait, like that that's it.
00:07:42
Speaker
so was like, oh, that's my life. I understand now. And it was like, it's in James. So it's like, so where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder.
00:07:53
Speaker
And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I get that. Like, and I kind of, really relate to what you were saying, Brit, why to both of you, but in in that we were like, it's probably not external pressure. It's actually internal. I'm just like, oh, oh, I love that. That sounds really fun. I want to be really helpful. let me Let me do that. That sounds great. Like I can pack it all in, but it's probably, I reckon looking at it, I'm like, well, I'd rather be busy than have to sit with stuff.
00:08:21
Speaker
Like i don't want to have feelings like you. Yes, that's very true. yeah So maybe it's that, yeah. Well, and I think it's also that whole thing around, yeah, I'd rather be busy than sit with stuff. But also if I'm busy, I'm productive, I'm helping. Like you feel like you're doing something. And so there is, it's exactly what you're saying, Rachel.
00:08:42
Speaker
Yeah, you get good stars, you get validation, you get that external people looking and thinking you're doing it right or you're doing well or you're good, which I think is a real sinful kind of drawcard.
00:08:57
Speaker
that lots of women do struggle with a lot of. was just going to say, do you think it's that women are probably more prone to that than men are just with sort of social constructs of what the way that women should serve?
00:09:12
Speaker
And there's a lot of opportunities in the church to serve in a very sort of stereotypically feminine way. And so you kind of think, oh, well, I should be doing all those all those cooking and the serving things.
00:09:24
Speaker
I get worth from helping and I get, I want, you know, i i and it's an, i I mean, at the core of it, it's an identity issue a of where, and where is my identity coming from? Where is the source of my you know life coming from? Yeah. And it kind becomes a bit of works versus faith.
00:09:44
Speaker
Cause it's like, if I do these things, if I built this house, if I appear to be doing these things, like I'm storing up treasure in heaven, as opposed to, yeah, what is my heart's intention with this? And, yeah, if I'm doing it and i'm really grumpy and I actually
Balancing Rest and Activity
00:10:01
Speaker
hate everyone in the moment, am I helping anyone?
00:10:05
Speaker
Yeah, or am I that, like, woman in Proverbs who's just tearing down her house with her own hands? You're just like, I built this up and now I'm going to tear it down because I'm just resentful and grumpy and you're like, I'm not actually, am I actually being kind or am I just, I suppose, almost When I was thinking like that optimizing language, it's almost every moment of your life you feel like, I can't just sit here. Oh, like i need I need to be doing something. I need to make this moment a bit better. if I have this habit, this habit needs to be better. Or like I should always be doing something. Like every minute of the day is a minute that you could be working or all asleep, you know, and like making your sleep better or whatever.
00:10:46
Speaker
and I like it's just that weird thing i like I think you actually kind of hinted at it Britt with you talked about that creatureliness and that finiteness but you're like oh life goes in rhythms and you know sometimes like those days are for rest and sometimes those days are for you know like if it's harvest you're working hard and I don't know like modern life just feels like mush like you could be hanging out with kids and you also could be like on the phone you know doing stuff on your phone and working and could just be doing a little bit of everything and then nothing feels like rest and nothing feels like you've you never feel like you've achieved anything and you also haven't rested and it's always yeah that make any sense or not really yeah no it makes total sense to me it makes me think of a article I saw the other day
00:11:42
Speaker
which I do apologise because all I did is read the headline, didn't even read the article. It was basically saying more and more women are choosing to work flexibly from home full-time and care for their kids full-time.
00:12:00
Speaker
Ew. And that it's this growing trend of women going, i like kind of, well, they're saying they're like skirting the conventional route or whatever. But I was like,
00:12:12
Speaker
wow, that's really like that's heading for a breakdown. Absolutely. How can you possibly do all those things? And, yeah, what you're saying about like when you're talking about kind every minute, how can I be productive, how can I this, how can I that, it just sounds exhausting because there's no, there is no rhythm of life in that.
00:12:34
Speaker
I've been reading the book of John with the women I read the Bible with and there's just so much in there. where and I forget when I read the gospels I'm always really amazed by he keeps escaping he keep like they keep trying to kill him I didn't just realize it started so soon yeah but they're like basically saying they want to kill him and then he keeps being like the hour has not yet come so no one's going to kill me because God's going to be in charge of this you're not going to get me but he does sneak away like he does that you know and they take the boat across and the disciples take the boat and he just walks on the water to get their
00:13:11
Speaker
And then they're all like, how did you get there? did you take the boat? You're like, the way that he does it and the way that the rhythms he
Biblical Teachings on Rest and Human Limits
00:13:20
Speaker
holds to himself and the way that he does seek rest and is clearly exhausted by it what he's carrying at times just really amazes me. Yeah.
00:13:30
Speaker
And I think, like, I read ah read this book called You're Only Human by a guy called Kelly M. Capek. And it's so dense and I've gone back to it a couple of times just to be like, i need to reread this.
00:13:45
Speaker
But it's that, he's like, oh, you know, God god made you like with limits for your good. And like, if you really look at God, telling the israel Israelites, like, you need to take a day off, you need to rest, like you have the year of duty, like you have to Sabbath.
00:14:04
Speaker
I'm fundamentally bad at that. I'm like, oh, would, if it was me, I'd be like, I'm just going to add more things to my list, but I find it really hard to rest. But like kind of only the only way I find I can do that is that like identity break with, I think, well, maybe it was Rach you hinted at, just being like, actually, who am And news who do I trust? Because if it's me and my to-do list, well, then that's that's going to end badly. and Yeah.
00:14:35
Speaker
I think, The one thing my husband talks about quite a bit is the economic concept of opportunity cost, that whatever you say yes to, you have to say no to other things.
00:14:48
Speaker
Yes. And so everything comes with some sort of cost to you. And I really had to learn that lesson the hard way and seeing the impact of my opportunity cost when I've said yes to something, not thought about it, totally forgot most of the time.
00:15:03
Speaker
And then it impacts people directly around me because of But it's just one of those like, oh, for every yes you give, there's a no often to a lot of other things.
00:15:16
Speaker
yeah Yeah. And I think that's the thing. i I have been noticing recently, i'm like, oh, if i push us all and hustle to do this thing so that I, you know, in my head, and my people aren't mad. I don't want anyone to be upset. So I'm going to push all of us so that we can do this thing.
00:15:33
Speaker
But then I leave being like, oh, no, like I was tired and I was sc grumpy and this person is probably upset. And, like, it's just that never-ending cycle. And in the end, I'm like who like, who are my primary area of ministry? I'm like, oh, actually,
00:15:49
Speaker
it's these little people in my house and like my husband I'm like oh like yeah like yeah they're you know like there are other people after that but I think it's I only have so much capacity like I can't yeah love every you know what i mean like I can't do every ministry and I can't do every thing and i can't even feel like having the third child has slowed me down so much more where I'm like I actually cannot do all of these things like emotionally, physically, all of it.
00:16:22
Speaker
Yeah. It's I have to work within limits and like God made me with them. Well, then it comes back to that creatureliness thing. You have limits because if you didn't have limits, what does that mean about who you are?
00:16:41
Speaker
Like that's us trying to be God. Yeah. Yes. And we're not. That's our ambition. We need limits to remind us that we are in this like weak vessel and we're made for more than this, but we actually don't get to have it yet. Like we're, we've got the spirit as a deposit of what's to come and definitely like being busy isn't, isn't inferring that at all, but like our limits do remind us of our need for God.
Consequences of Overcommitting
00:17:09
Speaker
Yeah, yeahre like, it's not a sin, you know, it's not a sin to be busy or to have a busy season. But I think if I'm, it's the opportunity cost. If I continue to live, like I don't have limits and I want to say yes to everything. And I love like the rush that you get. Oh yeah, i can do that. And I'm high capacity and I can do all the things. It pays out in the long run in like exhaustion or how you manage your household or all of those things or the state of your heart.
00:17:35
Speaker
There's a grain, there's a fabric to the way that the world works. Like in the long run, it's not going to go well for me if i continue to act like I think I'm trying to step into God's place when it's not actually asking me to do that. isn Well, and also if I overload my myself and get really tired, either get sick or I'm just really grumpy.
00:17:55
Speaker
And when I'm grumpy and tired, I'm actually more prone to sinful behaviour, speaking rudely to my kids, being impatient with them. if you think about the fruits of the spirit, I'm the opposite in that mode.
00:18:10
Speaker
And every i I'm suffering, but so is everybody that's with me. We're like, tearing it all down. We can all suffer together. We're all suffering together.
00:18:23
Speaker
That's beautiful. yeah the rest of the verse is like. But wisdom from above is first pure and peaceable and gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, impartial and sincere. And then it was like a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
00:18:38
Speaker
And was wow. Way to drive the point home, Beck. ah but This is what the Bible told me this morning. And I was like, how does this know about my life?
00:18:50
Speaker
Stop talking to me so clearly. Living inactive? Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:57
Speaker
Fine, okay, I understand now. oh yeah Yeah. Actually, that was a lot in the, the was I reading John 8 today?
00:19:09
Speaker
He's like talking about Jesus, talking about how he comes from above above, but they're like from below. It's just so like, you read it and you're imagine. I would cut.
00:19:20
Speaker
Yeah. is He is not wrong though. No, he's right. Yeah. yeah but I mean, we've done a lovely, like, you know, being busy is numbing and we get lots of validation from it and you get a clearer payoff than you do for, like, resting.
00:19:38
Speaker
there any other barriers you reckon to rest that we haven't covered? does that kind of sum it up? People often like you more. I guess that's what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:50
Speaker
Yeah. i it's It is particularly for me with work because of the nature of my work. It is, if we're short staffed, I know what it's like in the ED when it's short staffed and there's not enough people and there's too many junior staff that don't know what they're doing yet. And I just terrified because they don't have anyone to help them.
00:20:09
Speaker
And then you're like, I can, like, I can, I can go in. I totally can relate to that, Rach. I've had so many times where I've, felt sick and said to my husband, I have to go in because I've got this client built in today and I really need to see them. It's really important, buth blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:30
Speaker
And I get myself in this big tizzy about it and he's like, it's fine, you can take sick leave. And then I would get to work and that person would cancel. And I'd be like, i they don't even know.
00:20:43
Speaker
and they never asked me to rearrange my life for them. But I took it upon myself as this, like, I'm somehow responsible. And it's also, it is that, like, I'm trying to be God again. I'm trying to be in control. I'm trying to, like, fix things or heal things or whatever I'm trying to do. But rest is really a sign that we're surrendering to who God is and recognising his place in our life.
00:21:05
Speaker
a But, yeah, ah the same. I'm like, I remember in, like, just in my worst periods of being but probably more, like, burnt out, i would really just be like, I'm hoping to be sick. Like, and I would just like trawl like health direct, not even health direct, there's like those health websites being like, don't want something really bad, but just something like enough that I would have to spit, like someone would say I'd have to take time off work and they would write write me a note or whatever.
00:21:32
Speaker
But then like, I remember getting really sick and I had like a chest infection when I was pregnant. And was like, no, i have to I have to go to work. I have to go to work. And my husband's saying to me you're not getting better. You're actually getting worse. Like you have to go see a doctor.
00:21:44
Speaker
He's never like that.
Challenges and Strategies for Intentional Rest
00:21:45
Speaker
He's very easy going. I was like, it's just so bizarre when think, no, I can't let people down. Like that would be really mean. Like I'm not a mean person, but like really, again, people are responsible for, they are responsible for their own lives and I'm responsible for mine. And and like you said, they they're not asking me to,
00:22:06
Speaker
work when I'm sick no yeah have you ever met someone who's actually good at like genuine biblical rest because I don't know if I have because I'm just trying to think of what like okay this we're all doing similar things was like what does it look like to not do that like what does it look like to be still and I'm just trying to think of someone who I know that's that I've witnessed do that and I I can't think of anyone not not not in a consistent manner where theyre like that's what they're characterised by.
00:22:41
Speaker
have a friend who's pretty discerning about what she says yes to. and know she thinks quite a bit about it, but I think did learn that through basically burning out or being very unwell for a period. It seems like people who and maybe have more limitations due to like physical or mental health sometimes have learned harder way probably that there's different limitations.
00:23:11
Speaker
But, yeah, i no one, like, hugely comes to mind. Even at, like, mean, Bec, I'd say, no offence, Rachel, but you're probably the most well-read of us.
00:23:24
Speaker
Have you read, Marcia? No offence, Caroline. No. I mean, I count myself with you, but I just, you know, you correct me if I'm wrong. No, I've read Harry Potter like six times, so don't worry about it.
00:23:36
Speaker
I'll just finish the second.
00:23:41
Speaker
They're so good. No, i have I think it has been my hobby for a little while to read books about it, so I'm like, okay, I'm ready. So who's thinking about it So I read like Kevin DeYoung's like Crazy Busy. i read You're Only Human by Kelly M. K. Bick. I read Humble Roots by Hannah Anderson. Oh, I read that.
00:24:03
Speaker
I love that. and i really I love them. The Gardening, sorry. I loved it. That's okay. But you probably would like You're Only Human, um which is pretty pretty solid.
00:24:16
Speaker
I also read The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry John Mark Hamark. which was like, oh, actually lived up to the hype. Like I listened to audiobook and that was really solid. And then I think because I've also been obsessively reading books about digital tech and how to like digital minimalism, like Cal Newport and all of those kind of books.
00:24:38
Speaker
And I think for me this is how I, I don't know, it's who I am, it's how I learn. So I just tend to read obsessively on a topic until I kind of it sinks into my head. I think for me, i am not there yet, but I think what I'm seeing is that the people who rest well, they do it its within the rhythms of their, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, okay, it's Sunday this is what we do on Sunday. there is a way that life works, you know, like we you know we work hard for this season and then we have like a break. And when I am running my life sensibly,
00:25:18
Speaker
I can do those things and that's the dream for me of like working towards, I want to be really clear on this is what I've committed to and actually it is okay to say no to other things.
00:25:29
Speaker
Yeah. And I'm really, at the moment I think I'm really heading towards being like, yep, it's looking after my family and it is running the magazine and doing those two things but I want steward them well and the people I think I've seen, like, you yeah, you've said people who've got, like, you know, physical and mental health or people who've learned it the hard way.
00:25:53
Speaker
But they're just that bit more determined to be like, well, I don't want to go back to burnout land. I don't want to go back. Yeah. So I have to be really mindful at the start of, like, I have to say no to stuff, not because I dislike it, but because I can't go back there. I can't go back to, like.
00:26:10
Speaker
But is saying no to stuff and not overcommitting yourself the same as rest? That's a good question, man. yeah I think saying no gives opportunity for you're not always pushing your limits, but I do think, rest yeah, rest is something different as well.
00:26:27
Speaker
Maybe like saying no to stuff gives opportunity to rest with intention because I think ah genuine rest, which like biblically is seeking God and be still and know that I am God and actual rest ah would would be sort of, you know, that living living your life in the fate in the face of God, I think is a very intentional thing that you have to use your will in.
00:26:55
Speaker
Because I think it's it's, I mean, it's not easy to say no to stuff, but saying no to stuff is sort of step one and then you have to also rest. Saying no to extra, saying no to like pushing yourself be beyond your limits, saying no to being overcommitted.
00:27:11
Speaker
but also saying yes to, and this is how I will rest when I have that time because I'm not just going to spend the time that I have now on my phone yeah or scrolling. You're like, how do you actually rest?
00:27:21
Speaker
just suppose I suppose leads into, how do you actually rest? Maybe Rach? I kind of don't at all. i i don't. i'm Yeah, I'm very, very bad at it. It takes a lot of, like, willpower Though I did, i have done a few times after I had Callie or Shelby, one of my children, I had to go to a pelvic floor physio cause so I don't wear myself for the rest of my life.
00:27:48
Speaker
And I, I thought I had a really strong, this is probably TMI, whatever. I thought I had a really strong pelvic floor. But what I actually had was a pelvic floor that was tense all the time. And so then when you when I tried to actually tense it, it was already tense. And so then it had no power.
00:28:06
Speaker
So what I had to learn to do was to learn to relax it fully and then tense it. And so I find that now, even if you like as you're sitting now, you'll notice like, oh, my shoulders are tense.
00:28:18
Speaker
Oh, my tongue's on the roof of my mouth. I have just tension in me at all times. And so I have to really actively. release that before I can actually try and get into a headspace of rest which I'm very bad at I'm don't take my advice on resting also don't think I'm amazing at prioritizing rest but some of the things that when you're talking and I'm thinking what do i actually find restful would be walking in nature always find that really restful
00:28:57
Speaker
Sleeping, although i don't always sleep that well, so that's not always a guarantee. Movement, not, you know killing myself movement, but hat things like kind of Pilates or yoga. Trying to take a quiet moment and like actually, you know, drink coffee, enjoy the coffee, think about the coffee.
00:29:20
Speaker
i don't really practice mindfulness, but just kind of soaking in the moment. where i can it depends how much frenetic energy i've got running and how much i'm actually running from thing to thing building margins has been helpful for me to think about i do remember being amazed that i had a friend in school who would schedule in time alone in her diary and i had never i didn't know people did that like so so if people said to her could you hang out next wednesday night
00:29:56
Speaker
she'd say oh sorry no I'm busy but the busyness was that she was hanging out by herself at home that sounds awful this is like see this is where the opposite I'm like yes I'm like yeah for me I used to look at my calendar and if I didn't say something in there really great this is time to like socialize this is time to do something if someone says what I'm like yeah free but yeah I have had to It's so lame to anyone else but me. Put stuff in the calendar to be like, this day i have to be at home.
00:30:28
Speaker
You know, i okay, fine, some days I have to clean the house. But if I don't put it in the calendar, i'm not going to do it. I'm just going be like that's a free time. I'm going to go out. And then it doesn't happen. So whatever. But the other thing is, okay, I have lunchtime.
00:30:40
Speaker
You know, just booking, and like, I'm going to sit down and, like, actually eat my lunch because that's what I would do if I was at work. Or I'm... okay, I'm going to put my phone away at this time, like going to dinner and then I'm actually just going to have an evening and go to bed.
00:30:53
Speaker
But like just having that little block, not for long, but just a little bit, just like having little regular bits of rest in my day where I'm like, okay, yeah, I get that hour. like And I suppose it's heart rate, visual workshop work, shift work.
00:31:05
Speaker
But like even for me, like if I wake up and my kids wake me up first thing in the morning, like I'm already grumpy. But if I wake up at six and I know that they're going to be up at seven and doing whatever, I'm like, okay, I can sit there quietly yeah a little bit by myself I actually think just scheduling in time by myself or and when I know that I can leave the house by myself or just have a bit of quiet like it's the scheduling margins that has been yeah yeah I can actually tell how how I'm doing by whether or not I give myself any of that time because I'm not great at
00:31:39
Speaker
scheduling it in it's just not my natural inclination and I just forget but the busier I get the worse I get at it and when I get even just a little bit even yeah like you said like sitting down and eating lunch actually having something for lunch other than something I find crust
00:32:02
Speaker
Crust. Hummus. Hummus is my life saver. Hummus and crust, delicious. I'd love to have a crust. Sometimes I eat a heated up wrap, I heat and just dip it in the hummus.
00:32:17
Speaker
Great lunch. Nice. Breakfast is for the week. Exactly. No, I definitely eat breakfast. Oh, I need to But yeah, like actually taking care of your basic needs.
00:32:31
Speaker
is a good point is it there was a poster in when I grew up we had a poster in the house and it said early to bed early to rise makes you healthy happy and wise there's like a picture of this bear but it's one of those things that's really stuck with me and often I think about it when treating mental health concerns because literally some of the most basic things help us feel better they're not going to solve all the problems or why they're occurring or any of those things.
00:33:02
Speaker
But just like prioritising the fact that you need to sleep, cleaning your teeth, eating enough food each day, getting some sunshine, exercising, having some friends, they're just really important block building blocks of wellbeing.
00:33:18
Speaker
I mean, what's dumb is, right? Like we're all in like health professionals. Like we know this stuff and like, get we can't do it. Like why what are the things... how do we get around the barriers? This me like gesturing. How do we, when you can do them, what are you telling yourself that you can rest?
00:33:36
Speaker
Because I think it's just so easy to just get caught into like making every moment productive. You've got to redeem every moment. I keep thinking about, I think it was we Wesley, Wesley, John Wesley, sorry.
00:33:47
Speaker
In the like revivals in England, he was a famous um preacher. you know John Wesley? Do you know who I'm talking about? Anyway, yes like we read to our kids, there's a book called every every person a child should know or something. And it's just little biographies of
Rest as a Spiritual Discipline
00:34:00
Speaker
famous Christians. And during this conversation, I keep thinking about this woman and their mother, I think her name was su Susan or Susanna.
00:34:06
Speaker
And she was ah prayer warrior and she's the one that she would cover her head. I think it was with her apron. And so she'd sit in a chair and she'd cover my head. She was like, I need to be myself. She had 17 children or something. Maybe it wasn't 17.
00:34:20
Speaker
And it was just like i that picture of her sitting in a chair, that like apron over her head praying, and her kids were just around doing things, but that was her time for prayer.
00:34:31
Speaker
and i think I was just thinking about maybe there's something in the, say what you want about head coverings, that's a whole other thing, but like maybe there's something in the physicality of that. I'm covering my eyes and covering my face and just having a moment in quiet and taking that stimulation away. e Because I just, that that picture of her sitting in the chair just kept coming to me in this conversation. i was like, oh, it's an interesting thought. And it's so it's very intentional as well of like, this is the chair, I'm covering my head and now this is my time to pray.
00:35:02
Speaker
Because I think I'm a very tactile person and I think something like that would actually probably be quite helpful. Yeah. Yeah. I weirdly have found like writing out my prayers has been the most helpful thing I think I've ever done.
00:35:19
Speaker
I used to like try and pray and I'd get distracted or I'd fall asleep. Like I'm very good at falling asleep. And just writing them out, being like, thank you that you're like this. Sorry for this thing.
00:35:31
Speaker
Thank you for this. You know, I need your help with this. And like long, they're not amazing, but just like, okay, I get my book. I sit here. You know, read my Bible, I write the thing.
00:35:42
Speaker
That's the time of the day and I have it. I just, yeah, I cannot express like how much that has like changed my life. And I don't, like it never, I don't know. Like i didn't know anyone else who wrote out that phrase before and I was like, this seems weird, but also it really works for me.
00:35:58
Speaker
the Because I think as Christians, I think there is this there's a certain hand in hand of prayer and rest. Because I think you can probably rest without praying, but true rest, we should be if we are resting, we should be then resting in Christ and relying on him ah to come back to as like a recalibration.
00:36:24
Speaker
And so that sort of would have to go hand in hand with prayer. I'm just thinking about part in John where Jesus refers to himself as the living water. Is it when he meets the woman at the... yes.
00:36:38
Speaker
Yeah, and he says she won't have true rest.
00:36:43
Speaker
Jesus answered her, If you need the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you give me a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water. and woman said to him, Sir, you have nothing to draw water with and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob?
00:37:00
Speaker
He gave us the well and drank from it himself as did his sons and his livestock. Jesus said to her, Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I will give him will never be thirsty again.
00:37:14
Speaker
The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. The woman said to him, Sir, give me this water so I will not be thirsty.
00:37:26
Speaker
Pretty powerful image of how rest is really in Jesus. Well, and then that also makes me think of the come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.
00:37:38
Speaker
Yes. It's not about doing rest. you know opt You can't optimise it. No. Because it's actually just a gift of God. And it's that fundamentally it's like humility. It's like I have to come to Jesus. I have to bring it all to him.
00:37:54
Speaker
Like he's the one who's going to give me rest. to give him all my burdens. Like I can't carry all of this. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing a real bad job.
00:38:04
Speaker
Help.
00:38:06
Speaker
Please.
Summary and Wrap-up on Rest Discussion
00:38:10
Speaker
That's my most common prayer. literally was like, oh, i need the help. Yeah. Which leads me to, Britt, please summarise. What would you say are, like, the takeaway points?
00:38:23
Speaker
Thank Rest is really hard. Some of the barriers are actually sinned. Some are just the nature of the world that we live in. True rest is in Jesus and not in actually striving or doing things.
00:38:40
Speaker
And it's good to examine why you don't rest and what the barriers are and really to consider is there, you know, is this about validation? Is this about not being humble before God? Is this about assuming I am actually God?
Closing Remarks and Newsletter Promotion
00:38:57
Speaker
That's it from us, friends. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, you can sign up to our free weekly newsletter called Stories I Tell You at Dinner. So you get essays, poetry, podcast episodes, everything, photo essays straight to your inbox on Wednesdays from March to November from Christian Women in Western Australia.
00:39:18
Speaker
If you'd like that, the link is in the show notes. Thanks for listening, guys. Music