Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 138 - ADHD & The Male Menopause (Andropause)
41 Plays10 days ago
Welcome back to ADHDville, population: us, barely holding it together.
I’m Martin, officially diagnosed with combined ADHD and self-diagnosed autistic.
And I’m Paul, also rocking the combined type, diagnosed a few years back.
We’re your ex-mayors of this glorious, distracted little town, and this week? Oh, this week we’re getting properly middle-aged about things.
First up: a quiz. Martin tries to sneak a Snugglepuss question past me, fails, pivots to Charlie Chaplin, and somehow I still get tricked. Classic ADHD energy. There’s also a very nerdy debate about exclamation marks and whether putting three in a row is a personality trait. (Spoiler: yes.)
Then we head to the park bench — blanket on the knees, thermos optional — to talk about something blokes don’t nearly talk about enough: andropause. The so-called male menopause. Lower testosterone. Brain fog. Low drive. Grumpy old man syndrome. And how all of that crashes headfirst into ADHD burnout, RSD, and executive dysfunction.
We’re not comparing it to female menopause (we’re not daft). But we are saying: men get weird hormonal changes too, and we need to talk about them without buying a Harley Davidson or starting a podcast.
…Too late for that last one.
Plus: Martin shares the most awkward doctor’s visit of his life. It involves gel, a hospital gown, and an unexpected tap on the nuts. You’ll never hear “joie de vivre” the same way again.
So if you’re a bloke of a certain age, your ADHD symptoms feel worse than ever, and you’re not sure if it’s burnout, testosterone, or just being tired of everything — this one’s for you.
Subscribe, rate us, and for the love of chaos.
ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
---------------------------------------
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in the room. Here we are. Another that episode, Martin. I know. What 137th episode.
00:00:11
Speaker
Is it? Wow. Episode. And we're glad that you at home can join us. Yeah. So pull up a pew. Wherever you are in the world.
00:00:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so let's hit that button really early. Okay. Hang on.
00:00:36
Speaker
Let me just put the brakes on.
Understanding ADHD and Male Menopause
00:00:41
Speaker
and do the intro. Right, okay. As I'm supposed to do it, which is where I say... Yes. let me let let Let me move my script over to the right side of the screen.
00:00:57
Speaker
<unk> so that a way yeah Let's go to a place where the distractions, the landmarks and the details are the main roads. Welcome to RDA Steve Hill. Let's be true.
00:01:08
Speaker
That's so not the intro. Meet the gang, because Martin is here. Paul is too. Paul is too. Martin and Paul. We are the gang.
00:01:19
Speaker
We are the boys. Pleased to entertain you. Wow. Wow. And I'm one of those boys, and my name is Paul Thompson with a P. And I was diagnosed, yes I was, with the combined ADH and the D again, dragging towards um three yonks ago.
00:01:43
Speaker
by me And I'm Martin Weston. I was officially diagnosed with the combined ADHD, poopoo platter in 2013 and self-diagnosed autistic. And we are both the mayors of ADHDville. And you're joining us in the King's Agitated Head pub in ADHDville, where we are sitting at the back taking care of business.
00:02:03
Speaker
And the business this week is...
Testosterone Decline: Male vs Female Experiences
00:02:05
Speaker
Taking care, you know, taking care. Well, it's a loose term. Let's... Let's say it. yeah Yeah, it's very loose.
00:02:14
Speaker
um And this week we are taking care of ADHD and the male menopause or andropause. Yes. ah As it's called. And there's a quiz.
00:02:26
Speaker
And we're going to write it. And we're going to be doing all of that stuff. So where should we go and talk about all this with very focused shit? Well, I thought, Martin, you know, two old boys like me and you yeah of a certain age, let's go to the park bench and just, you know, let's just get it out there. Let's just say what's on our mind in terms of, you know, the what is in theory, because it's all a theory, because some people don't know, kind of into it some or not the theory of how even us boys us men have a kind of um a bit of a crisis with the reduction of the male hormone right okay well let's jump in the tractor like two old men oh yes right
00:03:21
Speaker
offtic next the night away know right
00:03:31
Speaker
We just have to find a park bench. I have my bag of sandwiches and I've got a blanket. A thermos.
00:03:42
Speaker
and And I'm going to put it over my knees. When we've gone to the park bench, Martin, yes on various occasions ah lost amongst our 137 episodes, i imagine i always imagined myself um On Hampstead Heath, on a hillock.
Testosterone Therapy: Personal Experiences
00:04:03
Speaker
On a hillock? Yeah. Overlooking in London. All right. Yeah. I'm not just making it up. that's That's how I picture it. All right. Very nice. I picture it as the park in in in in Brooklyn. Oh really? Okay.
00:04:24
Speaker
Whose the name has now just vanished out of my my head. um Interesting. And we have actually shared a spliff on Hampstead Heath. Apparently, allegedly.
00:04:37
Speaker
Allegedly. why That's what they say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, let's start off with what the hell is... What the hell What the hell is Andropause?
00:04:50
Speaker
Right, right. I mean, and and that's the point, isn't it? Does it exist, Martin? Right, because we have, ah yeah cause it's it's it's ah yeah, so ah women have their menopause, which is usually quite...
00:05:12
Speaker
um uh it's more of a sudden thing but with men out sudden and very prominent physically and mentally well it depends on i there are some women that that have they breeze through it there's some women who it For some women, it's a massive, massive change. Right.
00:05:42
Speaker
But either way, it's still a big change. Whereas men, yeah it's it's very... it's It's a lot less. It's gradual.
00:05:53
Speaker
And very gradual. I believe you you lose about, so it so it's about the loss of tests of testosterone, yeah which guys lose about 1%, 1.6%. You read the same thing as I did, yeah. From the ages of like 30 or 40 onwards.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, about 40 onwards. and then we And then when you get to our age, yeah is as ace so ace a significant bite has been taken out of that.
00:06:27
Speaker
Yeah. Testosteronies. I think women in general, their hormone levels are much more coverright violent kind of swings, especially women when apparently, for example, when women give birth,
00:06:45
Speaker
they test their testosterone, their their oestrogen, it's just a massive decline in oestrogen all of a sudden, you know straight after birth and really violent.
00:06:57
Speaker
Whereas with men, it's much
Effects of Testosterone Loss
00:06:59
Speaker
more gradual. So I guess the point is we're not we're not complaining too much. Yes. this you know that's That's the main thing. We're not saying it's comparable.
00:07:10
Speaker
We're not making comparisons. absolutely right. That would be foolish. That would be foolish. That would be foolish. um Also, i mean, like, so okay, so you've got that. So you've got this kind of like, so what gradually comes on. Oh, yeah, actually, you know what? I went to the doctors.
00:07:34
Speaker
This was like, I don't know, about 10 years ago. I'd had my blood work done. and the And the doctor was like, ah he spoke like that. He was like, ah yeah Mr. West, I i think your testosterone is a little a riddle low.
00:07:55
Speaker
So um i think I think you should have some. And I went, OK, right. Oh, really? Hormone replacement therapy? Yeah. yeah And you've done it? um Yes. And I was offered, and it and it comes in two types. I don't know whether it's changed, but but but there's either like a sort of gel that you rub all over yourself.
00:08:22
Speaker
Right. um Like a lube. Like a lube. It's like a sticky, clear gel. It's very unpleasant. Or you can have an injection. Right.
00:08:33
Speaker
And I went with the gel because I didn't really want to inject right myself. So you could like slap this stuff on. And then, of course, no one could touch you because they don't want to get testosterone on you.
00:08:50
Speaker
So you were just basically just out there on your own with this sticky... talk Talk us through it, Martin. If you like... You know, do you have to like, I don't know, does it is it dry up quickly?
00:09:05
Speaker
Or do you have to like sit in a bath of gel for an hour or something? so You have to rub it on and it would dry off. but Okay.
00:09:18
Speaker
ah so it was Like all over yourself? Yeah, well, in certain areas. Oh, okay. um and And the doctor was a yeah yeahs it'll it will give you a certain de choix de vivre.
00:09:35
Speaker
i went, oh, okay. As the French say. Exactly. Because when you when you want to talk about those kind of things, for at least for us English, when you say it French, it's less embarrassing.
00:09:51
Speaker
Right? Because if you've had a loss of libido or something, and you want to you want to say it in a a sophisticated, elegant way, all of a sudden, French words come out. Joie de vivre.
00:10:03
Speaker
Joie de vivre, he said it. And I was actually naked at the time, apart from like a sort Oh, right. had ah Because I was like there for a general physical. and You have to kind of get completely undressed. And I've got this like...
00:10:21
Speaker
hospital gown that's kind of open at the front. And then after he said, ah yes, will give you a certain disorderly, he fucking tapped me nuts.
00:10:37
Speaker
No! He went, bop!
Aging, Hormonal Changes, and Male Identity
00:10:40
Speaker
Like that. No, was he? Yes. No way! Bop! I know. I'm sure... i'm sure I don't go to that guy anymore.
00:10:54
Speaker
I'm just saying. That's weird. I was like, you know what? No, that's weird. i don't think I need to go to this guy. So I found a new guy. it Was he Italian? Because Italians touch their balls for luck.
00:11:07
Speaker
No. No. No. Okay. He was American. No excuse then. I know. He touched your balls saying...
00:11:19
Speaker
It will give you certain journeive. Ka-plunk. Slap. Wow. Poke. And you're never going to... You can't unremember that.
00:11:30
Speaker
No, of course I don't. Ever. Ever. I mean... yeah yeah because i because i just had a well my thing i just had a had a prostate exam oh bloody hell both teams before that so yeah so so so for god's sake i was i was getting both sides of the of the undercarriage Jesus.
00:11:56
Speaker
um So I guess it if it felt less weird saying it only like a minute earlier. If it could be any less weird, right. ah we're stretching the We're stretching the definition of weird though, aren't we?
00:12:11
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. so so So, and did it, did it though, Martin, give you a joie de vivre? Well, so the right. I don't think so. I mean, part of my problem is my, is my um I'm not very good at and ah at introspection.
00:12:32
Speaker
I don't really know what's going on with me that well. a OK. Which is a classic autism thing. Right. so um But there didn't appear to be much of a change.
00:12:48
Speaker
so So I stopped that. Because I've been thinking about going to see my doctor on this very subject. For the subject the joie de vie.
00:12:59
Speaker
on this very subject o for the for the subject of the shiard div Yes, yes, you yes. We could all do a bit more, Chaudh-de-Vivre.
00:13:11
Speaker
this is and This is the crux of the problem. the The reason why most men identify with the andropause as a concept, and it is a concept because there's a lot of doctors saying it doesn't exist.
00:13:25
Speaker
is because it can be confused with general depression of men of a certain age because they feel less confident, less virile. um They don't feel like they feel like their best days behind them.
00:13:42
Speaker
And it can be confused with that kind of thing, being little confused with a general loss of enthusiasm and energy. Mm-hmm.
00:13:54
Speaker
Right? Yes. Yes. Yes. we we We also get get good get a brain fog as well.
00:14:05
Speaker
And we and so it we our our we have a low a low a load a load drive. We get tired. We get more i irritable and grumpy. so look So that whole grumpy old men thing.
00:14:25
Speaker
There we go. Maybe that's it. Here's the thing. A bit like with ah with women, um the the for men it can differ quite greatly between men.
00:14:39
Speaker
yeah some For some men, they don't really feel it. For some men, they very much feel it. With my, for instance, I don't know how it's related, but I suspect it kind of is, is my metabolism has slowed down a lot.
00:14:53
Speaker
Right. That's, that's why we started to talk talk about it. Right. Right. Yeah.
Why Men Avoid Health Discussions
00:15:00
Speaker
So I put on weight much, for much more easily. I have to be more careful what I, what I eat.
00:15:09
Speaker
Um, I get much more tired because it's, it's, it's a big, it's a big kind of mix, but there I think there's some truth in the andropause thing. I think there's some truth.
00:15:23
Speaker
Yes. No, no. There is. You know, testosterone is is a potent hormone. Yeah, yeah. So the the the problem with the kind of fat, getting fatter, if you like, is that as the fat grows, the the testosterone ah levels drop.
00:15:44
Speaker
And then that causes more fat. Right. And then your testosterone drops more, and you get into this, like, fucking cycle of of tiredness, of fatigue. Right. and And you're just getting putting on weight.
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah. And then let's put – I mean, it's a big mix of stuff. Then let's put into the mix, both you and were diagnosed with ADHD and self-diagnosed autistics.
00:16:13
Speaker
In that same period. Right. So you're you're dealing with, mentally you're dealing psychologically dealing with that kind of like holy kind of, holy moly kind of news.
00:16:28
Speaker
Okay. An effect that has on your energy. Then you're also having to deal with andropause as well. Right. Slow down on your metabolism, not feeling as attractive and as kind of as you're used to, losing energy, losing libido.
00:16:46
Speaker
It's a lot to deal Right. Because, as I understand it, ah that's how... a bunch of men get diagnosed is that is that as they get older, they're getting tired and they're just losing losing all of that stuff that they had when they were young.
00:17:09
Speaker
Or they have a divorce or they lose a job or whatever. Right. Or they overcompensate and buy a Corvette or a Harley Davidson. Exactly. and then like home or ah Or a garage gym, you know, yeah kind of thing.
00:17:24
Speaker
Or start a podcast. Stop. Timely. so So men kind of go, oh, God, I'm like, what's wrong with me? And they start on that investigation. And and sometimes they, you know, like part of that can be, oh, I'm ADHD.
00:17:45
Speaker
Oh, and I'm, and i you know. Right. That can be a path to die. If you're curious by nature, If you're a man and you're curious by nature you know into your 40s, mid 40s, 50s, mid 50s, you're gonna want to understand you know what the hell is going on with my body.
00:18:09
Speaker
And presume I presume that your ADHD and autism symptoms are gonna be exacerbated by the slowing down of your metabolism.
00:18:20
Speaker
Yeah. And reduction of your testosterone. It's going to be exacerbated. Right. Sure. Absolutely. so you've got so you've got but you So you get a brain fog.
00:18:32
Speaker
And as an ADHD person, you've got executive executive dysfunction. You've got lower energy and drive. And you've got ADHD task Right.
00:18:44
Speaker
<unk> You've got irritability and you've already got, you know, RSD, the rejection sensitivity. I've got, yeah, it's fascinating.
00:18:55
Speaker
You've got ah fatigue and you've got ideas deep ADHD but ah but burnout. so Right. It's like this there double whammy. Well, I'm going to make it a triple whammy.
00:19:07
Speaker
I'm going to make it triple whammy. And it's based on the triple element, the third aspect. It's really based on why... me and you started thising this podcast is men don't talk about this shit, right?
00:19:22
Speaker
And oh women have menopause and we're not making a comparison, but one doesn't exclude the other. Men, I really, I feel really strongly about this. Men do have these physiological changes um to their bodies and they don't talk about it because they're embarrassed.
00:19:44
Speaker
because they they've just never been in a habit. They're kind of worried that they're going to be stigmatized by it and like think they're lesser less of a man because they're like, oh, you know, I've lost my libido.
00:19:58
Speaker
And it's bullshit.
Midlife Crisis and Stereotypical Purchases
00:20:00
Speaker
it is It's really time time that we actually talked about this stuff. Right, because, you know, a lot of men's ah identity is tied up with, you know, action and making decisions. Sperm count.
00:20:18
Speaker
And being, having a lot of a show of de vivre. Right. it's like It's like their masculinity is linked to their sperm count. To their test. It's like losing libido doesn't make you less of a man. But for most men, I guarantee um right um they do make that comparison.
00:20:45
Speaker
Right. so you have so you have a ah have a night So you end up with an identity crisis. like Yeah. I was the man doing all the manly things, and now I'm just a tired, tired man.
00:20:58
Speaker
Who am I? ah You can link it to a midlife crisis, OK? And there's one thing really it it annoys me. I kind of understand why, but doesn't give it it doesn't give um make it right.
00:21:16
Speaker
But the male um I think the male midlife crisis is ridiculed and made fun of by most people, you know, like something to just laugh at.
00:21:28
Speaker
And I think it's i think it's wrong. And it makes men even more reticent to talk about it. True. But, you know, we we we do end up doing stupid things.
00:21:41
Speaker
We do. so We do because because no one's stopping them. You know, especially amongst the men who say, look, look, this is this is what's going on. You know, get informed. This is what's going on in your body, in your mind.
00:21:55
Speaker
you know, psychologically, this is what's going on, Martin. Right. Okay. And you should, you know, maybe not buy that Harley Davidson. Save your money.
00:22:08
Speaker
What does Harley Davidson cost? About $18,000. Something like that. I don't know. No idea. Something like that, I think. I'm surprised. Save your money, mate. This is what's going on.
00:22:19
Speaker
And, you know, just start conversation. With? Each other. ah Yeah. I would go and see a doctor, but not my one.
00:22:32
Speaker
No. It protects your boobs. started having um i studied having a conversation with two of my male friends in Palermo.
00:22:43
Speaker
a And I got them talking about their prostate, Spartan. Lovely. Right. They never, ever... And I would...
00:22:54
Speaker
i would provoke them and have conversations that I knew they were comfortable having and I knew they hadn't had before with other men. Right? Nice. And they're Sicilians.
00:23:05
Speaker
Oh, nice. They're Sicilians, for Christ's sake. i think And is in the end, it was great. In the end, it was great. they actually They actually kind of came around to the idea that, actually, but you can have some fun about it, laugh about it.
00:23:21
Speaker
Right, right, right. Absolutely. Because that's what we do, men. We've got laugh about prostate. Right, right. There was someone the other day, literally last week, who said if it was men that had periods, they'd be going down to the pub, you know, and, you know, when it was their time of the month, when it was our time of the month, we'd be going, oh, mate, with a pint in their hand, mate.
00:23:50
Speaker
God, I had bleeder last night. Oh, gushing. Absolutely gushing pints I was. It'd be like a big thing that you would talk up, you know. Yeah, men are crap.
00:24:03
Speaker
We are crap in these these things. and men are Men are crap about them but those things. I mean, like when when it comes to that classic a midlife crisis of buying a core Corvette or or starting a podcast or whatever.
00:24:18
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, so so you have ADHD, right, and you need dopamine hits. and you're getting tired ah because your testosterone is like tanking gradually and burnout is increasing.
00:24:36
Speaker
So you need bigger and bigger things to kind of... make your life exciting again and to feel like yeah like you want to feel like a man again when so you end up like buying a Harley well I don't obviously um although it sounds like Paul you've been online because you know how much they cost I won't I know, well, I know pretty much how how much a high-end motorbike costs.
00:25:12
Speaker
have you picked Have you picked one out? I've got a secret desire to one day, because the last time I got on a motorbike, it was my I was 17, and I got on my mate's brand-new motorbike, and I shoved it into the back of his garage because I didn't know how the yeah the gears worked.
00:25:35
Speaker
And I have a problem with motorbikes. and ah But my dream, I have a secret. my I really like the idea of having a motorbike. Had for years.
00:25:46
Speaker
Oh, really? It's not just ah a recent thing. Right, well, you know it never will Probably never will. Now that you've reached midlife. Yeah.
00:25:57
Speaker
And a bit beyond. And a bit beyond. i think now's the time. And apparently a Harley Davidson cost between $7,500 $45,000.
00:26:07
Speaker
It all depends. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Have you never thought about riding a motorbike? Absolutely not. Really? Never? No, because I used to have like a 50cc ah moped thing.
00:26:24
Speaker
Did you have that at art college? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember it vaguely. It was like a little Honda thing. and And so after that, it's like, yeah, no, never want.
Testosterone Therapy: Pros and Cons
00:26:40
Speaker
Nope.
00:26:41
Speaker
Nope. Don't want to be on ah on ah on ah on a bike. I have no desire. Yeah. I have a major problem with motorbikes. and And it's because when I go around corners, I don't know how to lean into the corner.
00:26:56
Speaker
So I end up going really wide around the corners. Right. Because I don't know to lean. I'm afraid of leaning. Right. Like like it's going topple over. So I end going just really wide around every single corner.
00:27:10
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. way. It's a thing. that's that's That's how I crashed once. Oh, really? Not leaning enough.
00:27:22
Speaker
yeah so So what's your take on it, Mark? Do you think andropause exists? Well, yeah, because, well, in in his in as far as your your testosterone does drop,
00:27:37
Speaker
over the years and that does have an effect so yeah you know so theory for instance my my testosterone has dipped uh almost since i was all right Which, you know.
00:28:00
Speaker
Yeah, is a chunk. Maybe a bit more. know I I should have mine checked. So why didn't you carry on with your teststerone testosterone?
00:28:12
Speaker
Because it was icky. One, it was icky, sticky gel that I did not like. So there was a... that was a tactile maybe testosterone maybe the technology is has moved on since the 1950s maybe uh yeah no i should uh i uh i should i should but do you point being do you do would you feel the benefits of it do you feel like oh what could do with a bit of joie de vie yeah i mean you know uh yeah
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah, no. Yeah, i think I think it's definitely worth me um talking to me doctor about it. There are downsides of it.
00:29:02
Speaker
Oh, of what? So it's not like, you know, um physical as side effects. um
00:29:14
Speaker
What? Men can develop swollen or tender breast tissue. All right. Yeah. You can get increased oil production that can lead to cystic acne breakouts on your back, chest, or face.
00:29:32
Speaker
I don't need acne. Jesus, not again. i mean, I was bad enough when I was a kid. Fucking hell. And you should have regular blood checkups if you're taking testosterone.
00:29:43
Speaker
All right. Because it can thicken the blood. all right so there you know there are some down downsides to it it's not it's not all like oh it's like a quick fix and everything's all right yeah no i mean yeah and you can definitely like you know exercise helps and getting in good sleep and if you get if you've got sleep yeah get get that sorted out yeah okay all fucking hell mate getting old gonna die but you've you've started to go to the gym right yeah does it affect have you noticed an increase in energy no okay
00:30:32
Speaker
No. No, Dave. it's It's like, the thing is, hes like it's it's so hard for me to tell. As I said, it's like I rely on other people to tell me, oh no, you know you are much more tired. right You're much more awake or you're much more engaged or not.
00:30:54
Speaker
Like your wife say, Martin, you're just like some kind of energy bomb these days.
00:31:02
Speaker
Yeah. So, um yeah, i need yeah i need someone else to to tell me how I feel. Okay. Yeah, I know what you I am not a good judge of me. Yeah, okay.
00:31:21
Speaker
So... Alrighty. Okay, alright. Well, let's fucking rate this goddamn thing. Yes. I know, this is... Is it a dopamine?
00:31:31
Speaker
Or is it a dopamine? Angiapause. Lack of testosterone. Angiapause. Is it a dopamine hit? Is it dopamine hit or a burnout thing? Oh, God.
00:31:43
Speaker
ab I mean, dopamine hit? Where? Yes. Where? When? How? When? Who? It's just getting worse. Everything's dying.
00:31:54
Speaker
I'm just thinking of you, Martin, that scene when your doctor is you know just you know feeling pose That's got to be pretty low in terms of dopamine hits. That's definitely not a dopamine hit.
00:32:11
Speaker
It's dopamine low. Yes, dopamine. Well, yeah, it's going to be um is around zero. Yeah, I'm going to do like 0.1.
00:32:23
Speaker
Okay, round it the the The 0.1 being that i that I get to talk about it on the on a podcast. Good point, well put. That's the only hit. I'm gu getting off of it.
00:32:39
Speaker
I'm glad, mate. I'm glad you see a positive in that. Yeah, yeah. Well done. If I was a psychologist, I'd be impressed with you for finding a positive on that one. Well done. Well done.
00:32:51
Speaker
And then the burnout. Jesus. Actually, you know what? cause so because it's hard to unpick what is ADHD as you're getting older and what is... Right. And repositive. It's old age.
00:33:05
Speaker
Because they're all like... What's just old age? They're all mixed in together.
Societal Expectations of Aging
00:33:11
Speaker
Mushed Hard to tell. There's also the old the ageing thing also is that it's not that long that the human...
00:33:23
Speaker
species has lived as long as I've, as we do life expectancy, as long as it is, it's kind of a little bit unnatural to have expectations on ourselves. And six year old men has been these like virile fucking teenagers.
00:33:40
Speaker
I mean, it's just not realistic. It is. You know, we have a a really distorted sense of our, um, uh, mortality.
00:33:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Things are getting droopy. Anyway. I'm feeling droopy. One of my favorite cartoons, droopy. Anyway.
00:34:05
Speaker
So what can burnout score, Martin, out of 10? Oh, OK. All right. Well, obviously, ah so as that's what I'm saying. You can't say 10 because you've got to find a positive. Go on, Martin. Find a positive.
00:34:17
Speaker
Really? Well, I've already, ah proof I think a burnout is like, it's as I said, it's hard it's hard to unpick with ADHD. So um I'm going to say it's like a sort of five or a six.
00:34:32
Speaker
Oh, that's quite, I'm surprised. i thought it was higher. No, no, because it's definitely there as a thing. Right. but but it's not But I don't feel like it's everything. I mean, I can still go out and mow the lawn and work. and Right. ah don't Personally, i feel like most of my stuff is fine.
00:34:58
Speaker
Most of most of It depends how you're cutting the lawn. Is it like a sit-on mower or do you push it around? I so want a sit-on mower. Do you?
00:35:10
Speaker
Oh, God. I saw i so want i will want a property big enough that justifies having a sit-on mower and a cup holder. Oh, God.
00:35:22
Speaker
Oh, that's... this Oh, no, that makes my skin gross. You'd love it, mate. You'd love it. If you came came came round, right, and and it was just sitting there, and I was going, come With cup holder. Yeah.
00:35:37
Speaker
Have a go, mate. Have a go. you know And you handed me, like, a pina colada. Yeah. There we go. Off you go, mate. You'd be like, ooh. Go on. Cut the lawn and have a picolada at the same time. Right.
00:35:52
Speaker
ah Yeah. So anyway, you're... See, yeah you've you've brought me round, Martin. I'm going to give it more or less... I'm going to get around 7.36.
00:36:05
Speaker
seven point three six All right. All right. I mean, ever ends the and anything over 7.35, you should definitely consult a doctor. so Okay.
00:36:16
Speaker
so My girlfriend wants me to consult a doctor. and Let's put it that way. Yeah, because didn't you say that you haven't actually seen one in like years? um i said Last time I saw one, I can't remember why, but I need to get a checkup.
00:36:34
Speaker
Yeah, get get get all the all the blood work done. Yeah. yeah
Listener Feedback and Choice Paralysis
00:36:40
Speaker
i but On my birthday last year, on my 58th birthday last year, same day as my birthday, I got a letter from the from the region, it's like the of the state, as he mean if it was America.
00:36:56
Speaker
Offering me a free prostate exam.
00:37:01
Speaker
Congratulations, you're 58. re You could legally get a free prostate exam. Right. It was it's like one of the only birthday presents I got. My finger.
00:37:12
Speaker
A fig or a fudge? Anyway. Let's go the post office. Let's let's just get get back in the...
00:37:29
Speaker
ali
00:37:35
Speaker
Oh, okay. All right, here we go. Here we go. Oh, boy oh boy. All right. So this is where I say your feedback is vital to us, and we read out all of your comments on our future episodes. We've got a couple of comments here, one of which is from our regular, Alexandra.
00:37:59
Speaker
One of which, though, Martin, yeah is for this from your your bro, your brother. a Bro. Your blood. Yeah. ah My. size Because last week we were talking about choice paralysis.
00:38:14
Speaker
Yeah. m Tell us what your brother said. He says he says I'm reading off of this thing here. I have choice her paralysis and so did dad.
00:38:27
Speaker
We both could not be decisive in finding a parking space. It drove my mad. i also have problems choosing cameras and cars. um Yeah,
00:38:39
Speaker
um I know that, see yeah, because like I was having chats with him about what camera he he was going to buy. Maybe this, maybe that.
00:38:51
Speaker
what do just what Do you remember what cameras they were? no but specific i'm sure oh uh brand uh well uh andrew if you if you're um if you're listening to this can you can you just tell paul yeah who's uh who's who' who's who's getting right into photography uh and has work published you have published work i have yeah been published and this way i've got my first commercial commission
00:39:24
Speaker
yeah photographer making money so um money let him know what what what cameras uh you you bought and we also got from our regular contributor alexandra yeah um she was saying because we were talking about choice para paralysis and So, um um and coffee shops.
00:39:48
Speaker
Right. There's over 300 billion choices you could make at at ah any Starbucks. And Alex, I'm suggesting I'll just go for Espresso Rungo. Right. Yeah, that makes sense.
00:40:00
Speaker
But it wasn't on the board. Yes. It didn't have a name. It wasn't on the board, mate. Not coming in. um She says, I'm trying to think of a time I had choice paralysis. And it could it could and it could be never or every time. it's basically, lee Alexandra, you're saying you have choice paralysis about choice paralysis,
00:40:28
Speaker
which is hardcore. That's hardcore choice paralysis. But choice paralysis is about your choice paralysis. Yes, you don't even know if you if you have it or not. Love it.
00:40:39
Speaker
Love it. Love it. and She said she gets choice paralyssis of paralysis on Netflix. When she's trying to watch a movie. i You know what? i i this is this This is something, right? Because i ah if I choose what to watch on tv tv TV, like, I don't know, I can watch anything, right? So I have the remote. I've got Netflix, and I've got Amazon Prime, and I've got Hulu.
00:41:06
Speaker
i've got all the stations, right? And I'll spend two hours just going through all the films. Like, do you to watch that? No, I don't know. you want watch that? I don't know.
00:41:18
Speaker
Well, it's mostly shit. Well, it's it's weird, right? Because i'll it's it it's like Steven Spielberg is running is running a trailers for a film that's coming out soon. is it It's like a sort of sci-fi alien film. Right.
00:41:38
Speaker
aye um in in indoctrination day I don't know and I go oh Steven Spurbug that seems like a good book and I think oh i'll I'll watch that and then in about six months or whenever it comes on Netflix I would have forgotten all of that and I'll go what's this stupid film now I don't want to watch that i a and i I'm watching less films now than I've ever watched in my life, I think.
00:42:09
Speaker
Right. It's just a lot of rubbish. What a load of rubbish. A lot of rubbish. A lot of rubbish. um Okay. Then she says, um love you guys. Great hope episodes again.
00:42:24
Speaker
Three, no, four exclamation marks. Wow. Right. Crazy. That is a lot for you. I know that you are a fan. It's a bit shouty. It's a bit shouty for exclamation marks. You know what I'm a fan of, I've become a fan of, is in the world of using exclamation marks, and it only...
00:42:51
Speaker
It only applies to when you're in comments and you're on social media and you're like like and you're commenting, right, because of how the text, how the font works. But you'll make a comment and then you leave a space.
00:43:07
Speaker
Yes. And then you do three exclamation marks in a row. Yeah. I quite like that. What, you like that they leave a space
Cartoon Character Quiz
00:43:20
Speaker
yeah space? Yeah. So you write your comment, you leave a space, and you put three exclamation Because what happens is is if you put an exclamation point on the end of a sentence, you know, like, it can look really weird, right? Because it kind of almost like sort of smushes into the rest of the word.
00:43:43
Speaker
Right. So if you have like... You've gone all weird. i can barely hear you. Oh, right. You've gone weird. and I fucking can barely hear you. Yeah, it's gone really metallic-y.
00:43:59
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Damn it. and Should we stop and restart? Yeah, let's stop. Okay. All right. There we go. There's a little bit of chat there about exclamation marks. I think the one you the the point you're making, mark Martin, yeah is that the space between the last word of a sentence and an exclamation mark or a full stop is a hangover from the old typewriter fonts.
00:44:27
Speaker
Quite well. I think you just. When secretaries used to do double spacing and they would have extra space because the font was so bad.
00:44:39
Speaker
Right. It is a bit happens something like that. i sit Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, so this is getting really nerdy all of a sudden. but you but you But the last word, right, and then put, let's say the last word is, say I said, like, that's so off the wall, right? And you say, so the last word is wall with two L's. Then you put an exclamation point in there, and it just looks like,
00:45:08
Speaker
wo run a i Right. So I feel like I have to put a space there because the fontage looks weird. It's so small. And then it looks weird because it's out on its own.
00:45:24
Speaker
so I have to put in three because you can't put in two. I have to be three because three is a better number. So ah know that your argument would be don't bother putting an exclamation point at all.
00:45:39
Speaker
Oh, he's gone.
00:45:43
Speaker
He's gone. Yeah, all right. Well, he's left the building and he's apparently offline.
00:45:57
Speaker
I wonder if he's coming back.
00:46:08
Speaker
OK, back. Oh, there we go. All right.
00:46:19
Speaker
All right.
00:46:23
Speaker
Oh.
00:46:26
Speaker
He's gone again.
00:46:31
Speaker
OK.
00:46:34
Speaker
All right. You went again. And then you're back. Yes. Oh, you're recording. Okay, fantastic. Okay. so Yeah, So, a little bit of a chat about exclamation marks.
00:46:47
Speaker
Well, you know, well, you know I'm always banging on about exclamation marks. Women are three times more likely to use exclamation marks than men. i have I think you've said that. I think I have said it before.
00:47:01
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Fascinating subject. i I find it fascinating. But then again, I'm a freak. Right, right. Have you seen the... No, I'm not going there. Let's just go to the quiz. Let's go to the quiz.
00:47:23
Speaker
It's a quiz! All right. So it's a quiz where Paul and I yeah battle it out each week um and in in a two truths and a lie format, kind of, um and the and the scores are currently four apiece, four to you, four to me.
00:47:46
Speaker
Yes. it's it's And it's the first to 10. And it's my turn, yeah i believe, for the quiz. All right. Well, without furthers, um this week's quiz, ah the the theme is, you know what?
00:48:07
Speaker
it's it's It started out to be ah about old men. Right. And then that kind of got... What are you suggesting, Martin? I thought, well, that's quite boring. So I tried to do cartoon men.
00:48:27
Speaker
Right. so Okay. So it's cartoon men. Yes. Is the general theme. Okay. All right. So here's the first question.
00:48:41
Speaker
yeah two of Two of these are true. One of them's a lie. Which one's a lie? So,
00:48:47
Speaker
um
00:48:51
Speaker
the grandpa in the Simpsons. Yeah. he's You've seen the Simpsons, right? Yeah. So, Homer's dad. Yeah. Right.
00:49:02
Speaker
So, Here are three things about about Grandpa Simpson. A, Grandpa Simpson once won an old-timey sass match against President Grover Cleveland.
00:49:20
Speaker
Or b his his middle name is Jebediah and he insists people use it when they're angry at him. Or is it C, at age 83, he became a minor league baseball pitcher using using his using his dentures um added unexpected spin to the ball.
00:49:45
Speaker
so Okay, you would never have invented the last one. No way you invented that. Right. I'll go for two is is the false one.
00:49:55
Speaker
And you'd be right. oh call ah Grandpa Simpson's middle name is actually a Abraham. Okay. Good one.
00:50:08
Speaker
Good one. All right. I'm going on instinct, Martin. Yeah. Because I didn't know him. I don't know him that well. i don' I just thought Martin wouldn't have made up the last one.
00:50:22
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think kind of i I remember that episode. Anyway, a question two. Yeah. ah Do you remember like old Saturday morning car cartoon Captain Caveman?
00:50:35
Speaker
Yes, I do. Ah, yeah. Right, there we go. So, this is about three facts about Captain Caveman. Oh, zimey, okay. ah so we'll So, we'll see which one you think is is is is a lie. is yeah A, Captain Caveman was a prehistoric caveman who woke up in the nineteen seventy s and was over a million years old.
00:51:05
Speaker
Or... Oh, blimey. Okay. Is it b his only his only vocabulary consisted of shouting his own name? Captain K-A-A-A-A-N!
00:51:20
Speaker
That's but true. ah Or is it That's true. he carried a magical club that could turn into any object, including a lawn chair, which he used to knock on touring mysteries.
00:51:36
Speaker
That was true. oh no a A is A is false. No, A is true. He was a prehistoric caveman who woke up in the 1970s.
00:51:47
Speaker
Oh. Yes. That's why all the cartoons he was in. C was false. ah Yes, so ah he he did not have a magic club that turned into a lawn chair. His powers were his strength um and his catchphrase. Now I'm thinking that's that's nonsense.
00:52:06
Speaker
yeah um Yeah. Can I change my mind? Too late, mate. So it's all on. It's all on this one. Right. Oh, blimey. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. All right.
00:52:20
Speaker
do Do you do you do you ah remember a cartoon cat called Snugglepuss? No.
00:52:35
Speaker
Hmm. Well, this one's going to be yeah what quite... No, I've never heard it. All right. You know what? Let us instantly find a whole different... A whole different...
00:52:57
Speaker
um
00:53:00
Speaker
The question. On the flies. Yeah. on the flies
00:53:10
Speaker
Let's find one. Let's find because I did actually have some um i did have some backups. ah So i'll I'll go to one of the
Episode Conclusion and Next Theme Tease
00:53:20
Speaker
old oh older ones.
00:53:23
Speaker
You know what? Let's do so let's do um let's do Charlie Chaplin. So so here's not okay he's not he's not a cartoon, but... Well, almost.
00:53:36
Speaker
He is quite cartoon. So... Fact number one, at age 83, Chaplin was awarded an honorary Academy Award for the incalculable effect he has had on making motion pictures, the art form of this century.
00:53:56
Speaker
Seems quite plausible. Or a b in his seventy s Charlie Chaplin fathered two children. The youngest was born when he was 73.
00:54:09
Speaker
That's true. Or is it fact number three? Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike lookalike contest and came third.
00:54:20
Speaker
That's true. First one is false because the first one is false because he was a communist. So he was hated by Hollywood.
00:54:31
Speaker
So I'm going to go for the first one is false. o Oh, A was was it was true was true was true. That was during his honorary Oscar in 1972. Oh, after he died. No, he was at 83 at the time. okay. But the guy the lie was Chaplin did enter a lookalike contest, but he came second, not third. Are a bugger?
00:55:01
Speaker
oh Oh. You're just sneaky. oh Oh! That's sneaky. I thought you were actually going to that one.
00:55:13
Speaker
All right, so you're still on four. I'm on five. I was swayed because I was listening to a podcast the other day about Chaplin. Oh. and And it was stuck in my mind, ah the fact that he was... a They tried to deport him.
00:55:30
Speaker
The FBI tried to deport him. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's so typical of this bloody country. It's unbelievable. um All right.
00:55:44
Speaker
Well, that just leaves us to talk about and next week's episode. Next week. And it's your turn. It's my turn, Martin. Well, it's it's going to be based on a theme of something that's come up quite often, right?
00:55:59
Speaker
um Composure. I don't have any. Right. Oh, it's very, very rare. And when it happens, it's like a magical thing. So I want to know about your, how you, if if you ever experienced composure,
00:56:19
Speaker
i whether whether it's just me. Because we had to we had to a Room 101 episode, which we should do again. i was thinking the same thing, actually. Okay. Okay.
00:56:30
Speaker
Room 101, I tried to put composure in Brunner World because if i I decided that if I couldn't have it, no one could have it. That's right. um So how do you find composure? What do you do with it? And how do you kind of, um you know, try and increase moments of composure?
00:56:50
Speaker
That's the thing. All right. That'll be interesting. Are you bothered about being composed? Are you kind of letting it go? they know To hell with composure. as a as as Well, it's it's kind of quite linked to to masking, isn't it?
00:57:10
Speaker
Yes. It also links to, we did one recently on meditation. So meditation is about composure in a way. Right. In a way. It's more linked to like...
00:57:23
Speaker
More linked to like, I'm interested to meet anecdotes, Martin, about when you've lost composure. Okay. All right. so it's right it's it's so All So I'll find, I'll think of some, ah my my most uncomposed moments.
00:57:40
Speaker
Yes. All right. Fine. All right. Okay. Oh, okay. Well, that's all right. All right. I will have to put my thinking cat cap on.
00:57:51
Speaker
um All right. So that's just for me to say ADHD bill is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us. Most men appausal.
00:58:05
Speaker
Yes. Lovely, mate. Safeness. Thanks, mate. To correspond out well in the comments. pop But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful male faces. And then Sally forth to YouTubes and the TikToks.
00:58:22
Speaker
And you can pick up a manly quill and write a manly email to us at adhdville at gmail.com. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself.
00:58:33
Speaker
And I beseech you fellow male ADHDers and female ADHDers, I'm
00:58:45
Speaker
We're not excluding anyone, we're a broad church.
00:58:51
Speaker
Exactly. All right. What's the time now? Three o'clock. I've got enough time to... What am I doing after after this?
00:59:03
Speaker
Oh, trying find that's why pal nice yeah