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Episode 128 - ADHD & Meditation: Why "Just Breathe" Feels Like a Personal Attack
61 Plays21 days ago
Think meditation is all zen gardens and peaceful silence? Think again. 😅 Welcome back to ADHDville, where your ex-mayors, Martin and Paul, are here to tell you why "just breathe" can feel like a personal attack on your dopamine-starved brain.
In this episode, we’re tackling the ultimate paradox: meditating with ADHD. We unpack the science of why silence feels like a crisis, the struggle of sitting still (and why our legs go numb), and the "shame spiral" of trying to be neurotypically zen.
From abandoned spiritual courses on Hampstead Heath (complete with a panda suit) to discovering that playing the banjo or drawing counts as meditation, we’re proving that there’s no right way to do it—except the way that works for you.
Join us for the usual chaos, a quiz that involves accidental elbows to dancers' faces, and the definitive ranking of cheese.
🔔 Subscribe for a fresh dose of ADHDville every Tuesday!
In this episode:
- Why focusing on your breath can trigger a flood of distractions.
- The secret: Finding "flow states" in art, music, and hobbies (instead of the lotus position).
- A very stoned meditation story involving a bright white light and a pub.
- The "Phil Collins of cheeses" (and why Paul orders the wrong one).
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ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
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Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Introduction to Meditation and the Gloomy Weather
00:00:01
Speaker
back in the room back in the room back in the room the rap
00:00:10
Speaker
yeah well but yeah Yeah, because ah we're going to be talking about meditation. so we can So we can keep the energy levels a little bit down, which is good cause it's because it's really grey outside today here. Okay. i hear it's sunny.
00:00:29
Speaker
Oh, very nice. On the other continent. Yeah, on the and on the other part of the world. so it' On one of the other continents. h So let's go to a place where the distractions are landmarks and the details are on the main roads.
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome to ADHDville. Relaxing. Relaxing. Relaxing.
00:01:07
Speaker
Slowly. I love it. That was nice.
Hosts' ADHD Diagnoses and Introductions
00:01:13
Speaker
Hello, I'm Paul Thompson and I was diagnosed with a diabolical combination of ADH and the D again two and a bit years ago. And I'm Martin West, and I was officially diagnosed with the combined ADHD poopoo platter in 2013 and self-diagnosed autistic. And we start off, um as we always do, in ADHDville, in the pub, the King's a Agitated Head, where we, the ex-mayors of ADHDville, take care of our business.
Humorous Pocket Discoveries
00:01:46
Speaker
i mean, we don't go east, Martin, today. i Yes, I love the fact you're in your... Sporting the dungarees. Yeah. I can put pens and things.
00:01:57
Speaker
I've got like pockets where they should be. Wow. Oh, shit. what's What's in that pocket? I can see it moving around. Do you really want to know? Yes, of course we want to know what you've discovered in your pocket.
00:02:10
Speaker
Clearly, this dungarees has been washed... With some tissues in it. So there's a lot of residue from tissues. And... Yes. The only exception to the fluff yes is a red Bic pen cover.
00:02:29
Speaker
Pen top. A pen top from a Bic, the classic one. But red, which is odd because I've never... I can't remember the last time I used a red Bic. Someone else has been wearing your dungarees, mate. Someone has been, someone's left some kind of weird message.
00:02:48
Speaker
ah Yes. And it's red, so maybe someone's written something important.
The Birthday Prank on Facebook
00:02:55
Speaker
Right. And left it, is there anything else? Or just digging around?
00:03:00
Speaker
No, that's it, just some more fluff. Well, if if ah fuck if if the person whos who stole your dungarees and gave them back was was was it was a Chinese, then then red would be a colour of luck and auspiciousness.
00:03:18
Speaker
Okay. i just know it Or if they were Italian, it it might mean blood. Blood and murder. okay Right, that's true.
00:03:30
Speaker
Take your pick. You choose. You choose. as sort Before we move on, just want to say thank you for everyone that said happy birthday to me. Sent happy birthday on Facebook last week. And it's not my birthday.
00:03:44
Speaker
Oh, was going to say, because I didn't. It wasn't my birthday. I ah somehow, I changed, I don't know when, I don't know how, I changed my birthday to 15th of March 1977.
00:04:00
Speaker
Right. And it's i I don't know when, maybe it was a drunken evening, um and I changed it, and now it won't let me change it back. So I got like 30 messages, which was ah is was a bumpy year.
00:04:15
Speaker
Nice. It was a bumpy year for for you know for love and you know birthday wishes. well But it wasn't my birthday. But thanks anyway, everyone. I mean, it just makes me think, if you want to feel good about yourself, just change the date of your birthday to like yeah the next day or today even. And then yeah just just feel the love come in as everyone starts to like... yeah to text you have happy birthday. I love that. Exactly.
00:04:47
Speaker
But I think now I'm like the queen. She had real birthday and official birthday. Mm-hmm. I love The queen did that, didn't she? Yeah. All right. Okay. crack on, mate. Crack on. Crack on.
Meditation and the Spa Metaphor
00:04:59
Speaker
Where are we going to talk about the meditation?
00:05:04
Speaker
We're going to the spa, Martin. Going to the spa. Well, it seems like a perfect place for me. that's Jump in the tractor and
00:05:17
Speaker
make the over to the sky. Ah, yes.
00:05:28
Speaker
Oh, relaxing music. Let those long reverb trails. Relaxing, breathe in, hold it. Breathe in, Martin. Hold it for 30 seconds. And 30 seconds. might have got i might have got the numbers wrong, but it's more or less 30 seconds.
00:05:45
Speaker
You know. Four. think the most anyone's ever hold their breath is something like two and a half minutes. can i Can I breathe out now? Yeah, go on. Slowly, though.
00:05:55
Speaker
Jesus Christ. Slowly. see i mean But this teases up quite nicely. you know, if you if you've ever done yoga, maybe a lot of people haven't done especially in the ADHD autistic community or autistic community, you've maybe not done meditation, but you've done yoga like me.
00:06:17
Speaker
And the breathing part is really difficult. I was always in, um I was always kind of like on on the verge of suffocation. ah Did you forget? Yeah.
00:06:29
Speaker
I just forgot to breathe quite often. Right, right, right. You're just doing your the downward dog. Downward dog or the or the crane. Right. Yeah.
00:06:41
Speaker
And it turns out there's a reason, Marty, hence this particular episode. So we struggle, apparently. There's a reason why we struggle. And it says here, the challenge is um when you try and focus on your breath, your brain may interpret the lack of stimulation as a crisis, triggering a flood of dopamine-seeking thoughts, memories, or mental channel surfing.
Challenges of Meditation with ADHD
00:07:11
Speaker
So sometimes the for ADHD community or the autistic community, it can have the reverse off effect. It's like, oh, shit, what it is silence? I need to replace it with something.
00:07:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, Right? Yeah, yeah. and And the the feeling that that gives is that it doesn't feel like doesn't feel like failing to meditate. It feels like being trapped in a room with a loud flickering television that you can't turn off.
00:07:39
Speaker
was sayly Basically. ah i think I think that's quite a common thing, isn't it, that I hear ah certainly from like people with ADHD is is, and I've experienced myself, is like you you think you suck at it. You think you suck at at meditating because you can't hold your attention to anything for like...
00:08:01
Speaker
more than like a couple of seconds and then your mind wanders off onto like, yeah, some as you say, channel surfing, you just like, just stop, you know, and then you think, oh God, I i suck at this, you know, and, and you become stressful.
00:08:17
Speaker
right so So the meditation becomes stressful because if because you feel like you can't do it. And then people turn around to you and say, oh you should meditate. and And those people become stressful. So they're adding to the stress. It's all just a big stress pile, Paul.
00:08:35
Speaker
Meditation. It's all stress. It winds me up. It winds me right up. I was. Have you ever done meditation?
00:08:47
Speaker
If you haven't practiced it. I have learned how, basically. Okay. Like a one-off session thing. no, no. no i I'll i'll ill i'll i'll to do it when I need to. but this this So this is a this is a thing that I've discovered. So um i I started using the... There's like ah a Headspace app.
00:09:14
Speaker
ah um And I started to use that.
Understanding Meditation: Focusing on Body Sensations
00:09:18
Speaker
And I kind of learned, oh, OK, it isn't really about trying to be focused and like empty your mind and all of that bollocks, because and that that doesn't work. It's the opposite. It's the opposite, isn't it?
00:09:33
Speaker
It's actually just paying attention to what yeah is going on in your body or outside even. You know, and it's just like, oh, okay, i'm I'm thinking about this. Okay, my mind's wandered over here. Let's go and think about my arm. Let's let's bring it back to my breathing. Or your leg.
00:09:50
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Or a finger. Right. But then they why don't you now concentrate on your breathing? my Right, right, right, right.
00:10:03
Speaker
Right? So at that point, i'm thinking I'm thinking about myself thinking about myself breathing. Mm-hmm. Right? And I'm starting to count my heartbeats. Oh, that's okay. Is that okay?
00:10:20
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So maybe I'm better than I think I am. Well, that's it. so is it Right. is It's because, like, um...
00:10:31
Speaker
meditation isn't to know you even though we are a spa it isn't like a spa day it's actually just a it's it's almost like a gym for our mind you know that you know that you know that we're we kind of think that we're supposed to like just relax and empty out our thoughts but actually if if you have an ADHD you it it is a lot of effort it's a lot of mental work to kind of like you know bring your mind back to your sort breathing you know breathing in and out or counting your heart heartbeats that's that's fine too okay because i once i've did i've done one
00:11:11
Speaker
meditation session and that I was getting shiatsu massage from from a guy. And it was because I had a problem with, oh, shiatsu is the best.
00:11:26
Speaker
Shiatsu, strangely, you develop... like punts. Personally. Yeah, no, shiatsu, shiatsu, Marty. I appreciate the comedy content, but...
00:11:38
Speaker
but but It was and davidva who was even timely. But Chasu was great. I used to fall asleep. And even though I ah got accustomed to the joy of pain.
00:11:55
Speaker
The joy of pain. The joy of pain. It was. It became joyful. i actually looked forward to the pain. I felt like was getting my money's worth.
00:12:05
Speaker
Right? Yes. Go on. Go on. Find those pressure points. I'll pay good money. Oh, yeah. Dig in there. Dig in. Dig Harder, harder.
00:12:18
Speaker
Make me and i cry. And I used to fall asleep. Oh, Jesus Christ. During Shatsu, which is not easy. Anyway, he then said, well, Paul, after this,
00:12:32
Speaker
Just so happens we've got a Zen meditation class. Would you like to try it? Uh-huh. A new one. Oh, okay. I'm in.
00:12:43
Speaker
After Shatsu, you know, after being prodded and, you know, poked at and maybe having a bit of a nap, I thought it could be the perfect time to try it.
00:12:57
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah, my problem is posture. I can't sit like I can't sit up straight without any support.
00:13:08
Speaker
So it becomes a bit of a problem for me. I've got a ah I've got a curvature of the spine. right which i i was i've always always had so sitting up straight is really difficult especially in the lotus position right well you know what i you saying that makes me think there is a meditation for for neurotypical people which is that which is the the what you're supposed to do and what yeah how you're supposed to sit and then there's actually what works for you.
00:13:45
Speaker
Yeah, isn't that like I had done the meditation standing up in the New York subway during rush hour. And that's fine.
00:13:57
Speaker
Yeah. right I'll be going to an interview. I think this is this is one of those times when I use it. I'm going to the interview and I'm just i'm i'm just ah and i'm just ah and i'm just meditating, standing up, being rattled around in the in the subway car, surrounded by people.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah. And that's valid. That's good too. that's Totally valid. Oh, that's impressive. I don't have to do like Lotus nonsense. Well, i i did I tried to do the lotus position, and then I suddenly realised I'd lost feeling in my legs.
00:14:34
Speaker
See, that's not good. No, it's not good. All I can think about is, that oh, God, I've got to try and stand up after this. Yikes. You know, without looking like a fool, you know, it like trying get up and collapsing in a heap.
00:14:48
Speaker
Right. Yeah.
Alternative Meditation Methods for ADHD Minds
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah. So one of the reasons why I thought about this episode, Martin West, is was because you said on a TikTok yeah but as tikt to um um thing.
00:15:08
Speaker
Yes, thingy. What's the name? Post. and you Post, thank you. A TikTok post. That you you can meditate when you're playing your keyboard.
00:15:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. One of those behind me. Yeah. Because it's like, like I almost feel like there are different ways that there are all sorts of different meditations. so like you know you can draw. I think when people knit, when you kind of do something that kind of like just takes you out of your everyday head, like even playing cards,
00:15:46
Speaker
even like playing cards Even like playing cards, and you said that the the world just contracts down to like you and and, you know, and some kings and an ace and a cup, you know, like, and and that is, you know, and there there is a flow to that. And you can, and that, you know, and and and I play and music and so and stuff, and and that, there is meditation qualities in that where i'm just where everything just kind of goes away and i and it's just me and my feelings is it where i'm just putting my feelings on the keyboard yeah and that's how it's coming out rather than yeah me saying things to myself it's just like coming out with you you looked relaxed as well in the post that you put up
00:16:36
Speaker
Yeah, because because it's funny because I wanted to re-record that piece of of of music. I wanted to record it again, but I but i couldn't because the mood I was in that day, in that moment, meant that that's what came out. But I couldn't.
00:16:58
Speaker
But I was in a different mood. And I was in different place and it was different and I couldn't do that again. Yeah. <unk> It's kind of weird. I can do that with drawing and painting, sculpting, photographing.
00:17:16
Speaker
Yeah. I can be kind of like in a kind of like I ah can like turn the world off. Mm-hmm. In those moments.
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah. Definitely. I think it's it certainly helps when it's about, you know, like if you draw spontaneously, so you don't really have a fixed idea, you're just literally just...
00:17:42
Speaker
you're just putting marks down about, you know, and then you think, oh, I've, you know, i'm I'm feeling this way. So therefore I would draw this way or I'm feeling, you know, where, so your feelings are coming out onto the paper or onto your canvas or whatever it is. Then I think that's, that's a very valid.
00:18:02
Speaker
Totally. I once did a drawing. fact, where is it? It's here somewhere. I once did a drawing about 12 years ago as an exercise where I was conscious of drawing in the most spontaneous way possible.
00:18:19
Speaker
Like I was liking a drawing, but in a parallel world. e Yeah. And it as if every direction that my pen was going, it was a pen and ink drawing, every direction it was going and whatever it was created was, was spontaneous with every single second that passed.
00:18:39
Speaker
So no defined kind of objective. And it just went where it went. it's really It's really hard. I've never found a way of even describing what state of mind was in.
00:18:53
Speaker
Right. And it created something that, a style, a kind of drawing that I never did before that and have never done since. There we go. I love that. Yeah. love that. And I remember being...
00:19:08
Speaker
Conscious of me being in in that state, was really weird. It was like I'd take an LSD or mushrooms, but hadn't.
00:19:20
Speaker
Free drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like that. I mean, because there are benefits to meditation.
00:19:32
Speaker
I know that obviously some some people swear by it. um yeah I use it occasionally, like when I feel I need to, but i'm not like in it all all the time.
00:19:45
Speaker
I'd like to try. It's just come it's just come to mind now, Martin. I'd like to try it now as a... Coming me up from, a you know, almost 59 year old man and see what's changed, if anything, if I can, because I know it would be good. I think everyone knows it's never going to be a bad thing.
00:20:05
Speaker
You know, it's not going to turn something to sort like toxic addiction. right No one died of meditation. good good Good question. Has anyone ever died of meditation? Oh, God. I mean, right i I guess you some people may have died. to chip Yeah, surely.
00:20:27
Speaker
Someone must have. Someone must have. right But not meditation. But not meditation during which is different. Yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker
it it just It just, you know, they don't publicize it much because, you know, the PR ah department of the meditation, you know, they didn't want that story to get out, clearly. Yeah, yeah.
00:20:52
Speaker
I did do a thing, which is i don't really think it's meditation. It's it's more like guided guided ah disassociation, i would call it. a bet It was under the guise of of of meditation. I was on a plane from New York to London, I guess, um and it was virgin, and I was like scurrying through their channel um and and and And I saw, oh, it's thiss there's a guided meditation thing. Let me let me check that out.
00:21:28
Speaker
um And that was quite good, although we I would say it's a guided i did this is disassociation, which was ah it it went like this. that that you had to kind of close your eyes and you had to imagine that you were in ah in a crowded hallway with lots of people talking, this, that, and people you know, and that everyone's there, they're chatting to you. And then there's a door,
00:21:57
Speaker
off to the side and then you go through that door right and then shut it behind you and then you find yourself on a on the edge of a beach right and then they just kind of take it is there like an inflatable slide that takes you there mate was it was it just that you crashed and was it actually that you crashed and In my airplane. And then I had to then i take take off my but my my high heels.
00:22:32
Speaker
That's right. then What you're calling meditation was actually concussion. Right. was Exactly. You know what? now Now you think about it, what this is, is just it was such a – I was involved in a plane crash. It was so traumatic that my brain just – You blocked it out.
00:22:52
Speaker
but yeah it it just reinterpreted it as a as a as a meditation sequence wow isn't the mind crazy the mind is amazing yeah the fucking mind's amazing so yeah anyway so so they try to help you meditate on a flight and Yeah, yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker
And do you know what? I quite enjoy that. So occasionally when things are kicking off around me, I'll be like, close my eyes. I'm in a crowded corridor. this noise is coming at me. Oh, there's there's the door.
00:23:25
Speaker
Let's go through the door. Shut that behind me.
Paul's Bikram Yoga Experience
00:23:28
Speaker
And I'm now on on the edge of a beach and I can just feel the warm sand and go and paddle out in in the sea. And that's lovely. Yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker
yeah i nice I can remember now when I was doing yoga. I did Bikram yoga for two years. I remember. And um i was I was the fittest mentally and physically fittest I've ever been in my life. It was amazing.
00:23:55
Speaker
And at the end of it, it was like an hour and a half in 42 degrees. um ah So it was really intense. And then that you would like just lie. and it was my favorite bit, actually. They'd get you to just lie on the floor, and they'd get you to connect with the earth.
00:24:16
Speaker
And you just like let you had the feeling of letting yourself go so much that you could feel but you you the weight of your body on the earth. oh Right. Yeah, that was amazing.
00:24:30
Speaker
And then they'd talk you through it, and this is okay. so now they would take you through your thinking from your toes up your leg and up to your buttocks. And then looks and then you know and then you to the tips of your hands, your fingers. you know and then you'd So you they would make you move your mind around your body.
00:24:52
Speaker
That was pretty cool. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. That's, that's, you know, we both had a shared meditation moment.
00:25:04
Speaker
Did we? and I. Yeah. Yeah, kind of. So let me take him a woodwardward wi wiwardward you So like, I don't know, 20 years ago or something.
00:25:17
Speaker
You were, you were living in London in, um, Yes. yes And ah was it New Year's Day? I don't know. But anyway, I came up to visit and we went for a walk in the in the park around you somewhere.
00:25:40
Speaker
And we were walking along and we and we looked over to our right and there was panda. panda In the woods.
00:25:51
Speaker
Yes. there It was a course. That was on Hampstead Heath. And was it close it was a course run by my friend Hazel. She was a panda. Right.
00:26:01
Speaker
Right. So unbeknownst to us, your friend Hazel was sitting in a panda suit just off the woods to sit in there. we're like, oh, well, that's fucking weird. And then you found out. Because were late. We were late arriving. Right.
00:26:15
Speaker
Right. So by the time we rocked up we were about half an hour late and we had to start. We had to like run around Hampstead Heath like Madman, trying to find out where the course was.
00:26:27
Speaker
And then all of a sudden we saw my friend Hazel in a panda suit. We thought, oh, that must be the course. Right, and this was some sort of spiritual woo-woo course.
00:26:42
Speaker
Yes. It was all very sort of hugging. So we kind of joined this thing um and and we had to like hug hugoo trees yeah for a while.
00:26:52
Speaker
Yes. And we had to do various things. But one of the activities that we had to do was was a was a sort of meditation ish kind of thing where we had to we had to imagine this bright white light.
00:27:09
Speaker
Right. that was Yes. Oh, God. Yes. so Now it's come back. bright white light white light yes yeah as it traveled through our body and the bright white light went down one of our arms and then the bright white light was going i was like god how many times you goingnna say the bright white light i was thinking i remember thinking i think we had a hangover yes it was a sunday I was thinking, oh, this bright white light, all I want is a pint, you know. it's Right.
00:27:44
Speaker
ah Because I think that we had been so smoking the weed, Paul. Yes, I think we had. Like before we walked our faces. We were smoking.
00:27:55
Speaker
When we arrived at Hampstead Heath, we were smoking a little bit before we even rocked up. We were still smoking. We were still smoking. We just woke up and carried on. Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:10
Speaker
oh yes ah those were the days yeah and then we um there was there was further we then found out that there were other activities that we were supposed to do where we thought nah let's go to the pub nah let's just abandon this bullshit we banded the course i went to the pub
00:28:35
Speaker
ah Legends. Legends. Oh, my God. Those were the Okay.
Hosts Reflect on Their Meditation Experiences
00:28:52
Speaker
So, we're probably just think, Martin, we're the perfect two adults to do a podcast episode about meditation. Right.
00:29:04
Speaker
Go to the pub. We would say... That's the point. Go to the pub.
00:29:10
Speaker
Abandon your friend, Paul, who, you know, she's, like, invited you very kindly to do this thing. Anyway. I'm still friends with Hazel. I've spoken i've spoken to her recently. The panda. Oh, okay. Oh, right. the the The panda girl. I have no idea... She's still doing the same things. Still still doing the same stuff.
00:29:31
Speaker
Oh, wow. I don't think she's doing the panda anymore. She obviously lives it. It's an entire lifestyle, un unlike us. All right. well have you all right we're we're We're now on the hey but half an hour mark. so i think we're there, Martin.
00:29:51
Speaker
Are we there? think we're there, Marty. I think we're there. Well, I think I would say, think we can let it go. think we can let it go. let it go. take Let it take on its own life for a bit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah just Yeah, just let it drain away from our bodies, out of our fingers. Yeah.
00:30:10
Speaker
At that bright white light, just clinging ourselves. Because the' sometimes the best gesture of love we can give is yeah giving something freedom. Letting it go, unclip its wings and just let it drift away. let it drift away to the pub.
00:30:28
Speaker
Exactly. Nice. yeah To the smell of a damp Labrador somewhere. Oh. So I think that just leads us to rate meditation. Oh.
00:30:44
Speaker
So let's wow ah so prepare prepare yourself for for some banjo act action, which is going to bring you bring you out of your ne meditative frame of mind. Here we go.
00:31:04
Speaker
Meditation. meditat Can you meditate whilst playing the banjo? Yes. um I would say that that is true. um oh absolutely Absolutely. You you can. um All right. So, yeah. Meditation. Is it a dopamine hit or is it a burnout thing? What say you?
00:31:24
Speaker
Pablo. Propheal Pablo. Dopamine hit score on meditation. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Personally. see us yeah It's low. It's not for me.
00:31:38
Speaker
Right. it's It's going to be fairly low. i thought thought i think It's going to be a 2.
00:31:45
Speaker
Right. 0.1. Okay. All right. Give me an extra little bump there at the end. just wanted to round it off. Right, because it's... How about you, Martin? Dopamine hits score.
00:31:59
Speaker
See, i only I only use it, as I said, on occasions when I'm feeling really stressed out. It just kind of like just brings me back down. So there isn't much dopamine in that, but it does feel nice.
00:32:12
Speaker
So I am going to kind of like give it a little bit of a I'm going to be more generous and say it's going to like a four-point. who um You're rounding off too. Okay. yeah Okay. Well, let me think. So burnout score. Now, that would be how stressed you feel trying to do it and failing at it.
00:32:36
Speaker
All the shame of not being able to do it. Like, why can't you be like everyone else? Look, look how look how relaxed everyone is. Look how softly they talk. Right. And then get get into the lotus position, you heathen. and Yeah.
00:32:53
Speaker
what What am i trying to meditate when I've got a box of frogs inside my head? Right. So, yeah. So just bring all that to you. Burnout.
00:33:04
Speaker
is It's not... 4. Burnout. All right. Around... around A nice
00:33:14
Speaker
three All right. So it's definitely not worth doing as far as you're concerned. 4.3. I'm going to do like a 2.1. So I actually, yeah, so am, yeah, I've come to a fairly good place with All right. um so i actually yeah so i am yeah yeah yeah i've i've i've come to a fairly good place with it all right ah How do you score at home? By the way, have you seen the episode of Fleabag where they go to spa and they have to meditate?
00:33:49
Speaker
probably it's it's been a long while since I watched Fleabag it's really good they kind of really epitomise know all the problems that comes with meditation and spa weekends yeah you know very cool well in that case let us leave ah this spa and go to add it to ah and Alexander's whole Haunted Inn which feels very not meditative at all Not relative, no.
00:34:26
Speaker
I mean, is the music's quite soothing. Kind of. Could you play it again? Could you play it again, the music? Sure, here we go.
00:34:39
Speaker
Just it gets in the mood.
00:34:47
Speaker
See, I could get into meditative state with that music. All right. Well, perhaps i'll I'll produce a whole album with that one. Yeah. Well, that's another thing they do. It's like if you're in a meditation place and they start suddenly start playing kind of um kind of Buddhist music,
00:35:06
Speaker
Right. And it's just not for my ears, that stuff, you know, that's not going to make, I'm just sitting there with my, with my legs, you know, going numb because I've been in a lotus position. Right.
00:35:20
Speaker
Thinking, yeah, but this Buddhist stuff, you know, after about 30 seconds, it starts get a bit irritating. Yeah.
00:35:30
Speaker
You're like, this is all wrong. This is all wrong. It could be like thrash metal. that Everything. It's so like after 30 seconds, you may as well be playing thrash metal to me.
00:35:43
Speaker
just It just brings me back to my first point, which is like which is like the meditation can be so irritating. Yeah, but if they play something interesting like a Brian Eno kind of track.
00:35:59
Speaker
Music for airports, that kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Anyhow. Anywho, all right, so
Listener Feedback and Movie Preferences
00:36:09
Speaker
here we are. er She's, ah as as always, alex Alexander has left us a note, um and i won't read out the in the and the entire thing. I've just picked out a couple of things. So last week we talked about movies.
00:36:23
Speaker
Yes. And you said that you definitely don't like to talk you during you watching a movie at home. And she says, yeah, me and Paul could definitely watch a movie together. I don't talk either. So there we go Come on, Alexandra. That sounds like an invite to me. ah Let's do it. I'll come over to Greece.
00:36:42
Speaker
I'd be told to shutsh shut shut up. Shut up, man. Exactly. ah in in so in Inception, we talked about that as a film last last last week. I guess you hadn't seen it. um But she says... I started watching it And then you... I stopped.
00:37:03
Speaker
I did, actually. I did fall asleep. It's weird. if we I'll give you another try. I watched the first 15 minutes. Oh, I love it. It's bonkers.
00:37:14
Speaker
It's a fucking great film. um but yeah It's bonkers, though, isn't it? It's bonkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's like top tier, mate. Top tier bonkers. It's bit of mindfuck.
00:37:25
Speaker
Oh, we yeah, you have to stay awake for it. Yeah, okay. but But you're also in good company because you said, I have fallen asleep once at the at the movies, and that was at the film in ins in philip Fell Asleep During in Inception, which obviously the irony is not lost on me that it's a film about the dreaming – Right.
00:37:52
Speaker
Fall to sleep asleep. Right. Right. Okay. um She says, ah and you'll be pleased to know that she enjoyed the popcorn rabbit hole as yeah much as popcorn.
00:38:06
Speaker
Right. so I've got some more stuff about popcorn if you want it. Go on, then. didn't think you were going to say this. Well, I mean, you can't just kind of like ah pull up a popcorn fact. of So while you're looking for that, she said, i have walked away once add it add it out of a film, um and that was Ted, you know, the one with the bear, with the teddy bear.
00:38:33
Speaker
She said, oh, my God, that teddy bear annoyed me so much. and Um, um, finishes off by saying great episode. Now I want to watch a movie. Okay. Here's the, he's okay. Here's the, what here's what I left out from last week. Right. Right.
00:38:50
Speaker
Bonus extra bonus extra. Do you Martin? And I suspect you do. Do you get like really irritated by how much the popcorn costs when you go to the movies?
00:39:01
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. You think, bloody hell, makes my blood boil. Right, yes. Right? There's a reason for it. Oh. Because the cinema is so badly paid by the film distributors that thing that keeps the lights on so they can pay the bills. It's charging sometimes as high as 1,500% more than it costs to actually produce the popping corn.
00:39:32
Speaker
Wow. All right. so So it's a way of it's a way if you do decide, look at that beautiful bucket of popcorn.
00:39:42
Speaker
But I don't want to pay $10 for that's extreme. Right. And it is extreme. There's some sometimes 1500 percent more than the actual cost. But you're doing a so good service to the cinema. It's their only income sometimes.
00:40:00
Speaker
All right, so if it's a small little independent yes cinema, maybe don't snack your snacks. Maybe help them out bit. Okay, all right, all right. Buy the Haribo. Buy like monster-sized XXL Coca-Cola and popcorn and so try and avoid vomiting afterwards probably.
00:40:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Wise words, mate. Wise words. Thanks, mate. ah Nice, mate. All right, mate. Nice, mate. Now, it is time for you to say ah that... Your feedback is vital to us, and we read all of the comments. And come on, write us, give us some feedback.
00:40:45
Speaker
And we'll be more than happy to read it out if it's of note. Of note, exactly. All right. Well, that just leaves us to get to the ah to the the thing that we call... The quiz.
00:41:03
Speaker
It's a quiz! It's quiz! It's a fucking quiz. lovers they were Love it. it. Paul and I, each week, we take turns to to set a quiz for each other.
00:41:16
Speaker
um And currently, the 2026 league tables stand that I've got eight points and you've got three points. And this week, it's your turn to set the quiz. It's my turn. It's one of the reasons, Martin, of wearing a cell of pets.
00:41:33
Speaker
because i'm feeling like i i need to take it all more seriously so i've even dressing for it i'm getting quite competitive now all right in so ah it's again this week martin yeah on the theme of we've known each other martin for 40 years but how well do you really know me we'll find out we'll find out okay yeah okay so i've got three categories Okay. And one of which is, well, this's slightly different this week.
00:42:11
Speaker
One of them, only one of them is true. ah okay. So two source answers. i have to find that to be true. one oh i guess the right one. Okay.
00:42:21
Speaker
Okay, here we go. The first one. Do remember, Martin, that tomorrow, this is recent history, actually it's in future tense, future tense, this one. Tomorrow, we had a discussion tomorrow, I'm going to meet in Milan. I'm going to an expo for for fine art photography, right, in Milan. Okay.
00:42:40
Speaker
Yes. Okay. And I've set up two or three meetings with gallery owners for my photography, right? Yes. But I made a fatal error. What is it?
00:42:53
Speaker
with one particular gallery owner, okay, who i've I failed to do my homework and I didn't read until about two hours ago um a description of their gallery.
00:43:08
Speaker
They're specialists, Martin. Okay, they're specialists gallery, all right. Right. up You've got you got to guess which one is the specialism and therefore how I'm going to blag it tomorrow. okay Right?
00:43:23
Speaker
Yeah. I've got rock up to them and and try and blag the fact that I'm okay with their specialism. Okay. Right? Yeah. i mean Okay. jill All right. Go on. Carry on. One.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah. They only represent female photographers. Okay. All right. So might have to blag that I'm a lady. Okay. I wouldn't.
00:43:54
Speaker
You haven't seen me in a kilt, mate. oh Two. They only represent lesbian photographers. Oh, Jesus Christ, Paul.
00:44:06
Speaker
Right? yeah Last. hu like Three. They only represent Lebanese photographers.
00:44:29
Speaker
Oh, Jesus Christ. So I'm going to have to brag that I'm Lebanese. Oh, God. but Oh, fuck. Oh, this is so good. Oh, this is so good.
00:44:42
Speaker
So I've either got to brag that I'm a female photographer, a lesbian photographer, or a Lebanese photographer, Martin. Oh, okay. you All right. well one of One of them is true.
00:44:56
Speaker
I mean, and honestly, it could be any of them. I think that the... ah think so representing women... Honestly, it could be a toss-up. I'm just going to go with the middle one. i'm just going to go with B. Lesbian?
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah. for the hell of You'd be right, Martin!
00:45:20
Speaker
Tomorrow... I've got a meeting with a lady. She's one of the owner. Charlie, her name is. Hello, Charlie. When I arrive tomorrow, just pretend, you know.
00:45:34
Speaker
Just pretend that I'm a lesbian and and that's okay. Well, I mean, you you do like girls, so. I do like girls. Yeah, that's true. Yikes.
00:45:47
Speaker
ah But you got it right. I wouldn't go in with that, though. i was's just like Anyway, all right. Okay. Well, all right. That was something. That was It was what it was. Okay.
00:46:03
Speaker
The second one is a general category, Martin. I've got three random ones from the past. Right. Blast from the past, right? Yeah. One. I once accidentally elbowed a dancer in the face i as she tried to reclaim the dance cube that I had borrowed from her.
00:46:26
Speaker
so Okay. So detailed. Yeah. I was... Yeah, i'll okay. i'll I'll leave it at that. Okay. Dance cube? What the hell is a dance cube? You know when you go to a club...
00:46:41
Speaker
And you get women that are, usually women, that are dancing on a cube and just to get in the crowd going. That's like motivate the crowd to get them energized. Okay, so she's up on a little podium. On a pedestal, like a podium. Exactly. Yeah, right. A cube.
00:46:58
Speaker
Well, she'd gone for a break, so i i I could have borrowed the cube from her. Oh, I see. So you've got... And when she came back... And you're like dancing, and you know really dancing. rather Really dancing.
00:47:10
Speaker
And she tried to... She jumped up on the cube and I elbowed her in the face by mistake.
00:47:19
Speaker
Yeah, because this is how you dance, Paul, with your elbows. Exactly. Yeah. And it did... Yeah, but there's more detail on that. Anyway, so it's either that or...
00:47:33
Speaker
Or I once had lunch with Banksy, Martin, but only realized it this week because his his identity came out. Right. I suddenly this week thought, oh, shit, I've had lunch with Banksy and didn't know it.
00:47:50
Speaker
Yeah, but is it the real Banksy or is this just a Banksy stunt? I think it's a real Banksy. Gee, that's the thing. Is it the real Banksy? Or is it a Banksy stunt? You never know. Then, three.
00:48:05
Speaker
This yeah you might have a bit more knowledge of, okay? Personal knowledge of. This takes you takes us back to the the apartment I had in in Crouch End.
00:48:16
Speaker
Right. Okay. So, Martin, I once bought a single speaker. A single stereo speaker.
00:48:28
Speaker
Was it like left more or the right one? I can't remember. I literally bought it off the back of a lorry, right? And I bought it, and it's like, holy shit.
00:48:42
Speaker
um I forgot to get the second speaker. Did you pay for the second one? and only i had to call them back. And they came back, and I bought the second speaker.
00:48:57
Speaker
Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. But do remember the big speakers I had in Crouch End? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those. Wow.
00:49:08
Speaker
um It does remind me, when I was about 10, I went to buy my mother a her birthday present and ah and i and I went to this to this China shop where she liked to buy stuff, right? now Where all of her little favorite patterns were.
00:49:28
Speaker
And I bought and i and and ive and I saw the salt and pepper set, right? And I bought just the salt one because that's...
00:49:39
Speaker
because that's all the money I had. So I just bought the salt, right? Right. And the person sold it to me. And then, you know, I i've wrapped it up. Well, that's the point. These bastards, they were clearly selling me knocked off gear off the back of a lorry.
00:49:59
Speaker
They sold me one speaker. Yeah, yeah, so i And it wasn't until afterwards someone said, because I was at work at the time, someone said, Paul, you bought one speaker.
00:50:13
Speaker
And then you suddenly thought, holy crap. What kind of... fucked up logic is that and I felt really embarrassed well yeah you would I mean yeah at least I was 10 right and then i I gave this salt seller to my mum so my mum had to go back to the store to the shop to buy the other half right so she went in there and went oh can buy this pepper one and the and the owner of the store was like oh thank god you came back
00:50:49
Speaker
Really? big Yes. Oh, that's nice, though. like that. All right. i imagine I can imagine there being precious items after that.
00:51:02
Speaker
Oh, I don't know. I think that these they did they probably still existed, and then after she died, I think they just ended up, you know. me In a landfill. in ah in a innerate In a charity store somewhere.
00:51:18
Speaker
um All right, so I think Banksy isn't right, but you seem to have, so the first story about the dancer and the last one. um I went into an unusual amount of detail on on those stories.
00:51:35
Speaker
the first and the last one but for some reason i feel like i feel like the dancing story has has ah um i may have heard that before it kind of rings true so i'm so i'm gonna say that that it was the dance story is the true story Yeah, see, I forgot to tell you that I switched it around. Only one of them is false.
00:51:59
Speaker
ah Okay, Banksy then. Two of them are true. All right. Banksy, you did not have lunch with Banksy? No. No.
00:52:10
Speaker
But maybe I did, but no, I didn't. By the way, with the the girl that I elbowed in her face, her boyfriend happened to be there at the same time, and he wanted to have a fight with me.
00:52:23
Speaker
I'm not surprised. Jesus Christ. So i in the end, I stayed on the on the cube dancing because it was the safest state the place. The safest place. It was safer to stay on there because he a difficult position. He couldn't get up to have a fight with me.
00:52:40
Speaker
Right. So I thought I might as well dance it out. Right. so So you're up there for the rest of the night. Until he calmed down. Okay. All right.
00:52:52
Speaker
So. Third and final question. Third and final. Okay. When I first moved to Italy... I used to get, some there's these places like a kiosk where you'd go. It'd be like going to Manhattan and getting a hot dog.
00:53:08
Speaker
You get this like, it's like. um On the street. It's like on the street. Okay. And you'd order, was a classic thing, especially in in Italy.
00:53:20
Speaker
And you ordered like this thing and you decide what you want inside like a sandwich. Okay. Right. But I always wanted this cheese that i always really liked, right? But i didn't know how to pronounce it.
00:53:32
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Right? So rather than have the embarrassment of pronouncing it really badly, I ordered the wrong cheese that i didn't even like.
00:53:43
Speaker
ah I ordered the wrong cheese. i like that. Because they were easier to pronounce. oh Okay. Okay.
00:53:54
Speaker
The cheese I wanted was called squaccarone. All right. Yeah, that's a mouthful. But I've only recently been able to. It would have been a mouthful if I'd ordered it.
00:54:08
Speaker
But I didn't, Martin. That's the point. Are you listening? Are you following? Clearly not. Clearly not. So instead of squaccarone, what did I order, Martin, as the cheese element of the sandwich? Was it squaccarone?
00:54:23
Speaker
Was it one? I should say only one of these is correct. Okay, all right, all right, right. Was it one, Brie?
00:54:35
Speaker
Easy, right? Easy, Brie. Two, Fontina. Or three, Gorgonzola.
00:54:49
Speaker
All right. So basically, this is a what cheese don't you like, right? No, what do cheese was I comfortable pronouncing?
00:55:00
Speaker
Right, but you said that you didn't like it. No, it's boring. It's like it's like its that if I describe it as it's like the Phil Collins of cheeses.
00:55:14
Speaker
Okay. Very middle of the road. you' like you eat It's like eating cheese. it's like, why didn't I order cheese? could have just ordered nothing and it tasted the same.
00:55:26
Speaker
Have you had fun cheese, Paul? One fun cheese. paul one one cheese i recently, for the first time, at the um stilton For the first time.
00:55:42
Speaker
First time. Yeah. First time. this is this is This is like one of those conversations that I have with you once a while, like art college, when you turn around you city and say you hadn't had pizza. And then now, 40 years later, you're turning around and say you haven't had Stilton.
00:56:02
Speaker
Yeah, well, I did until, I hadn't until last November, and I was in a town called Padua, in near near Venice, and there was a cheese specialist, and I ordered Stilton.
00:56:17
Speaker
I bought Stilton.
00:56:21
Speaker
And? It was very very fine. was very fine. It's the same as gorgonzola, but it's a bit drier. there's good consola it's it's it's up there paul is um oh it's good oh it's good stilton right all i didn't realize how good it was man it's it's this like epic it is like an epic it's epic it is a party in your mouth is what that that is um all right so i think you find
00:56:57
Speaker
the brie to be to be unpalatable. Boring, doesn't taste good, because it it has a sort of a sourness to it. Yeah.
00:57:10
Speaker
Brie, which, you know... Yeah. i mean Okay. that's my That's my guess. No, you're wrong, Martin. I love brie. Okay. I like brie a lot.
00:57:21
Speaker
Now, Fontina. Okay. It's the one... so but you won martin congratulations i'm up well points i'm so the the score was an eight three and it's yeah and and it's now nine nine three oh blimey okay i know and i know okay all right well look i think i think we should just press on and let's And let's talk about let's talk about next week's lesson. Because it's my turn. Right. Next week's episode.
00:58:00
Speaker
My turn to pick the ah subject. um And ive and i've i've I've left it blank here because like I just wanted your initial reaction to it. Because I know it's something that you don't do.
00:58:15
Speaker
So I'm more interested in... There's a lot of things I don't do. Right. Right. Do you to guess? ah why Why not? Why not? All right. Something I don't do.
00:58:28
Speaker
Right. I don't do cooked vegetables. You don't do cooked vegetables? Okay. Yeah, I only do raw vegetables. All right.
00:58:39
Speaker
Good to know. Did guess it? Did I guess it? No. No. i I wasn't thinking ADHD and cooked vegetables as a subject. i don't do discos anymore.
00:58:52
Speaker
Discotex. Not after your cube in incident. No, after the cube incident, that was it. Yeah. I just tried to avoid fights, basically. can enough what So what is it, Martin? Martin?
00:59:09
Speaker
Did you take me to one of the gay clubs in London? Was it you? Well, probably, if it was James's birthday. Oh, it may have been. Did we go to one of James's birthdays one year? and it was ah it that the Yeah.
00:59:25
Speaker
It was at Heaven in Charing Cross Road. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was mad. I was there. was wandering around. And then some girl, i was just walking down this little corridor thing, and this girl just just kissed me. She just went huge but full in and kissed me. Really?
00:59:45
Speaker
And then just went off. And I was thinking, oh... does she think that I'm gay? and and that And that was like, so it was like, fine like that was like, oh, like I can just go and kiss this guy and that guy doesn't really matter.
01:00:00
Speaker
i don't know. It was weird. Anyway. It could have just been me with lipstick and a kilt. I just had a flashback. Oh, God, if it was you and a kilt. Fuck off.
01:00:13
Speaker
How much had I been drinking? we We were generally, when it was um James's birthday, we were often like the token straight people.
01:00:24
Speaker
We were. there was an unwritten rule that, you know, a certain hour, we were expected to leave. I think that was probably wise, mate, to be honest. Yeah, right. Yeah.
01:00:39
Speaker
Shenanigans. I know. you know what? And those parties, right, those parties, I always had this strange thought, right, which was I'm at this party, you know, with James and all his gay friends and and you and me, and we're all kind of like in having a good time. And and I'm like...
01:00:58
Speaker
no one's hitting on me what's wrong with me yeah why aren't you isn't anyone hitting on me and my was just I was just on the i was just god I was just very conscious of being, oh, people looking at us towards us and thinking, oh, look, it's the token, boring, straight people.
01:01:21
Speaker
Yeah. Like looking at their watches, when are they going to leave? I know. i yeah i felt like I i must exude heterosexuality somehow. Like I must have like like it's written.
01:01:36
Speaker
Well, I i don't. I have the opposite. I've been confused as a gay man many a time. Wow. So think I exude um homosexuality quite a lot. Okay. I had a hairdresser once that was shocked, Martin, utterly shocked when I told him I wasn't gay.
01:02:03
Speaker
Wow. See, yeah my mum was shocked that that I wasn't gay. Oh, that I knew. I knew. she was like She was shocked that neither were you gay, but neither were we you and i lovers.
01:02:18
Speaker
Right. Yes, because she thought you and because she thought you were gay and I was gay and and no and that we were doing gay things together. Yeah, in gay places.
01:02:31
Speaker
In very gay places like Heaven. And we were at Heaven Club. six all turns of i will oh It comes back, you know. Jesus Christ, mate. Yeah. um All right, all right. All right. Oh, yeah. so what So what's the next episode? Fucking hell.
01:02:50
Speaker
Tangents. ADHD and video games. Oh. Oh, I can tell you a lot. I've got lots of anecdotes about video games.
01:03:03
Speaker
There we go. All right. Yeah. but Okay. Well, we can save that because I know that, you know, neurodivergent people, ah video games is a bi a
Tease of Next Episode: ADHD and Video Games
01:03:16
Speaker
big one. So well um it's been a part of my history, so I'm excited to kind of get into it.
01:03:22
Speaker
um All right. Okay. No, interesting. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. I like that. like that, Martin. too All right. i'm I'm glad you like it. So that just leaves me to say that ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts.
01:03:38
Speaker
Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most non-meditive.
01:03:50
Speaker
And feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful faces and send more to the YouTubes and the TikToks. You can also pick up a quill and email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. But in the meantime, fucking kind to yourself.
01:04:09
Speaker
And I beseech you fellow ADHDers. Fare thee well with gladness of heart and meditative shit. Absolutely. There.
01:04:20
Speaker
Lovely. That's that. There's that. Oh, nice. That was great.
01:04:31
Speaker
yeah I feel calm. Well, we were calm at the start and then we got gradually more excited as we went.
01:04:42
Speaker
Yes, which generally happens. Ends up in a hiatus. Yeah, yeah. Hiatus.