Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 137 - ADHD & Choice Paralysis: Why We Freeze (and How to Unfreeze)
56 Plays1 month ago
We’re your ex-mayors, Martin and Paul, and this week we’re talking about something that hits every single one of us with an ADHD brain at the worst possible moments: choice paralysis.
You know the scene.
You walk into a coffee shop. 383 billion drink combinations. You just wanted an espresso with a little extra water… but it “doesn’t have a name.” So you walk out with nothing. Or worse, a Venti Americano you didn’t want.
Paul doesn’t get choice paralysis. He once moved to Palermo on a whim and stayed three years.
Martin, on the other hand, still hasn’t spent $1,000 he owes himself from 2020 because he can’t decide what instrument to buy.
Together, we break down:
- Why the ADHD brain treats every option like an emergency 🚨
- The difference between small choices (wine labels, screw tops, gold foil) and big life decisions
- Three weirdly effective hacks to break the brain freeze (including the coin flip trick that actually works)
Plus: a quiz about Eddies in history, a run-in with a Michelin sommelier, and the real reason Paul buys rosé based on font design.
If you’ve ever stood in a supermarket aisle for 20 minutes trying to pick a pasta sauce… this one’s for you.
🔔 Subscribe for fresh ADHD chaos every Tuesday.
ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
---------------------------------------
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome to ADHDville
00:00:00
Speaker
Oh, back in the room. oh back in the room. Martin's already exhausted from a joke I just told. Yeah, yeah. It was a good joke. um But anyway.
00:00:12
Speaker
Where are we going, Martin? oh Oh, yeah. Sorry, mate. Look, it's it's like quarter past ten in the morning. I don't normally do this until like the the afternoon, but we changed up the the the schedule, the schedule.
00:00:29
Speaker
ah So so so i am I am in brain fog world All right, so, we're all right, let's go to a place where the distractions and landmarks and the details are on the main road. Welcome, everyone, to ADHDville.
00:00:44
Speaker
Everyone. Wait, wham to the music. Here we go. Jesus Christ. Here we go. Meet the boys, because the boys are here.
00:00:57
Speaker
Boys are here. Boys are here. Boys to entertain. Boys to entertain. Boys to entertain. Boys.
00:01:08
Speaker
And your mates, your family and your rest of your neurodiverse community. There we go.
ADHD and Decision Paralysis
00:01:18
Speaker
Hello, I'm Paul Thompson with a P. And I was diagnosed with the combined ADH and the D again dragging towards three years ago.
00:01:28
Speaker
And I'm Martin West, and i and i am and I was officially diagnosed with the combined ADHD poo-poo platter in 2013 and self-diagnosed autistic. And as the mayors of ADHD, we're hanging out at the King's Agitated Head, as always, um and in ADHD, Phil.
00:01:48
Speaker
ah And we are going to be talking about ADHD and decision paralysis. This is episode 137. So binge-worthy content.
00:02:01
Speaker
Binge-worthy. Binge-worthy. If you've not caught up. Absolutely binge-worthy. You could spend the next six months if you wanted, you know, just like end-to-end ADHD-ville podcasts if you really wanted to.
00:02:16
Speaker
i i once I once added up all the content hours and I thought well, if you did a road trip and you just went back-to-back episodes, yeah just listened to ADHD, and you started off in london I thought you could guess.
00:02:35
Speaker
Well, mean because I've I've actually forgotten where you can get to. But it was something like you could you could you could drive all the way across ah across the Europe easily.
00:02:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You know what? i I will have to do the math all okay for next next week's episode. Nice. Okay, something to look forward to.
00:03:02
Speaker
Something to look to. um All right. and And we also have a quiz. Yes, we do, Martin. It's It's quiz.
00:03:14
Speaker
All right. So, actually, I think that um I'm just going to slightly change this script. Just to say, all right. i was get Apparently, we're going to the coffee shop. yes Apparently we are.
00:03:31
Speaker
Right. OK. Let's go there. just go on the tractor. Right. Because I thought it it it would be good because that's often a place where there is a decision has to be made.
00:03:56
Speaker
Now, just settle back.
Personal Stories of Choice Paralysis
00:03:58
Speaker
I'm glad that you could be here and join us the coffee shop. Sit down with us. Take a load off.
00:04:08
Speaker
Have a drink. Take load off. Chew the cud. h You can just listen. you can take part. You can do, you know, whatever. Okay. So what are we talking about this week? We're going talk about, it's kind of comes back It was kind of inspired by Martin's friend, Seth.
00:04:29
Speaker
Oh yeah. Who's actually, isn't he, he's the minister of? Headstuff. Headstuff. Okay. And he said he went to a coffee shop in the States and tried mushroom coffee.
00:04:44
Speaker
I'm not sure that he... I doubt he went to a coffee shop. It was probably at home, maybe. i Really? ah well Yeah. Because isn't something that... that that Yeah, anyway.
00:04:55
Speaker
Yeah, he had it So it came to mind that the this this week's theme of choice paralysis. Okay.
00:05:07
Speaker
It's just mental. I'll tell you a little story, Marty. All right. About... About 15, 16 years ago, I went to London. I went to a Starbucks.
00:05:19
Speaker
Okay. yes And I went up and there was a ah young lady who has said, okay, what would you like, sir? I said, I'd like an espresso coffee, please. Right. And I said, and then she was about to turn around and make it. said, but could you add a little bit more boiling water so it's a like longer version?
00:05:40
Speaker
Right. And at that point she turned back again, looked at the menu and she says, no, i can't do that. Right. And so I thought, okay, maybe she didn't hear me properly. So I said, it's just, it's just, it's like a normal espresso coffee. Just add, just leave it in there for a little bit longer, collecting the water. Right. Right. It's just bit longer version of it.
00:06:07
Speaker
She turned around again, looked at the menu. No, i can't do of that. I can't do that. I said, why? She said, because it doesn't have a name.
00:06:18
Speaker
oh right. Yeah. So this, so the, um which kind leads on to the subject, this week's subject or theme of choice paralysis.
00:06:32
Speaker
I have to admit, Martin, I do not have this at all. And in fact, before I got diagnosed, this is interesting it was one of the things that I thought meant that I did not have ADHD because I never, ever had choice paralysis.
00:06:51
Speaker
Actually, get really triggered by people that take forever to decide something. I'm the completely opposite. I'm kind of an impulsive person. And, yeah, I just decide in the moment.
00:07:06
Speaker
Wow. all right All right. Wow. This almost becomes a challenge to kind of to find examples of where you have choice paralysis.
00:07:19
Speaker
Well, because you don't either, do you, I suppose? Oh, I do. it's just It's just in that... It's just not where you think it's going going to be.
00:07:32
Speaker
So um the the the interesting thing about choice paralysis, you know, like we where you can't really make a did this did decision, is that is that there's stuff that that is like going into a coffee shop and they'll but they'll have like, so so Starbucks has their classic three sizes, right?
00:07:57
Speaker
There's the Grande, Vente, and the small one, whatever that one's... ah Whatever the pointless small one is, yeah name... And there's so there's those kinds of choices.
00:08:10
Speaker
And then there's choice, bigger choices, which is like, what am I going to do with my life? Yeah. yeah um You know, like the kind of big stuff where you feel like you need to kind of make – paths in life and you can and you can't really figure out or decide you want options still and you don't want to kind of pin yourself down to make a choice to go in one direction or or another so in those bigger things that's where I a a experience choice paralysis in like is in like I have so three or four paths I could take in life and make a choice and go down one and I won't
00:08:57
Speaker
that' so So that's where it hits me more than picking out a t a coffee or a TV. or a Well, that's with with big choices like that, that's when I'm even more impulsive. Yes.
00:09:14
Speaker
I love it. I really am, though. I mean, ridiculously so, especially especially in the middle of COVID. I've just moved on a whim to Palermo.
00:09:26
Speaker
Right. I just went there for a holiday for three weeks and stayed there pretty much. This is nice. This is a nice place. I think I'll stay. I love it. I love it.
00:09:38
Speaker
Wow. You mentioned Starbucks, Martin. Yes. Right? And sort of leading on from Seth's example of, you know, mushroom coffee and how shit it was. Oh, hang hang on a second. Hang on a second. I just have to butt in. Yeah. And Alec...
00:09:58
Speaker
Alexandra joined our postmaster general, um jumped in and said, ah I would never even try mushroom coffee.
00:10:11
Speaker
I must agree with Seth's this description, even if i even even even if I haven't tried it. And i never will. Never. So she's already formed very strong. It does sound really shit.
00:10:30
Speaker
It sounds really bad. Okay. But then, did you know that if you go, I've done some research, Martin. Yes. If you officially go to any Starbucks store, yeah the options available are more than 170,000.
00:10:52
Speaker
That's their official corporate numbers. Okay. So that's if you, okay, the sizes, okay, can go short, tall, grande, 20, 20, sorry, 20 hot, 20 cold, and 30. Okay.
00:11:09
Speaker
Then
The ADHD Brain and Decision-Making
00:11:10
Speaker
espresso, caffeine, signature, blonde, decaf, half decaf, up to 10 plus shots. you could Yes. Temperature and ice, hot, iced, warm,
00:11:21
Speaker
Hot, extra hot. Light ice. Light ice? Yes. Come on. No ice. That's really light ice. No ice. Okay.
00:11:32
Speaker
Milk. And here's where it mental. Milk and substitutes. Whole milk, 2% fat milk, non-fat milk, breve, heavy cream, oat, almond, coconut, and soy, right?
00:11:47
Speaker
Yes. So the official number is 170,000. But you add toppings, syrups, sauces, and drizzles, the total gets up to, wait for it, 383 billion variations. Oh, come on!
00:12:08
Speaker
Now, that's what I call choice paralysis. Jesus Christ, on a stick. And I went into Starbucks and I asked for okay exppresso espresso with a little bit of extra water.
00:12:21
Speaker
She said, he can't have it. Has it got a name? It sounds like an Americano, but I'm sure isn't. Well, in the end, I had an Americano because that's the only thing that had a name that was closed. But it was like a bucket. was like a litre of coffee. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I ordered it, and I'm like an idiot. I should have just like, look, just forget it.
00:12:49
Speaker
Forget it. And I said, oh, and a medicano, because that just satisfied. oh it's got a name. Right. Medicano. Okay. beat it I mean, like, in in i I think I would have probably got an espresso, and I said, can I just have a separate cup with some hot water in it?
00:13:08
Speaker
why Right. And then I would have concocted my own out of that. You would have ordered two espressos and just combined them?
00:13:21
Speaker
ah Well, I would have just, yeah, whatever the the separate parts of that coffee were, I would have ordered that and then made it. a of hot water. Yes, a cup of hot water. But that's not on the menu, I don't think.
00:13:36
Speaker
ah Out of the three and a half million. That's a guy named
00:13:46
Speaker
Is hot water fucking hell? You know what? I mean, it's oh God, that's so funny. It reminds me, because I'm because i'm an advertising man, I used to be. Maybe I can say that I was. Maybe maybe that um maybe not maybe I'm ah a retired ad guy. Anyway, there was this interesting thing where this was back in, oh God, back in the day.
00:14:10
Speaker
ah Back in the day. Marketing was kind of getting going was that they discovered. If you had one product, right, if you just had one, let's say ah a TV, you're you're trying to sell one TV.
00:14:26
Speaker
You make one TV, you sell it. But they found that if you made three types, right? Right, yeah. you You made a cheap one, a medium one, and then you made an expensive one.
00:14:43
Speaker
people made the choice for which TV they want a lot easier and they sold more of the middle tea TV, the mid-priced TV, yeah is because from a market... Choice paralysis as well, I suppose.
00:15:01
Speaker
Well, because what you've done is you've um ah you've you've given like sort of goalposts if you like There's the cheap and the expensive and then the gold is it makes making the the middle one a lot easier. that's why that's why so That's why Starbucks generally just has three sizes, has the small grande and the the short grande and the venti.
00:15:28
Speaker
um yeah Because it sells. like like like having Having the choice of one doesn't make you buy. But if you have three and make one expensive, one cheap, that's the, that's, that's, I mean, and you, and you see it a lot.
00:15:47
Speaker
Yeah. Do you remember in our manifesto when we had the last elections for the, uh, the mayor? shit Yeah. Is it the mayor ship? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
00:15:58
Speaker
Um, I suggested part of my manifesto. one of my sisters that we have a pizza. I had one pizza topping to avoid choice paralysis. Yes, yes, you did. that's That might be where we went wrong, you know.
00:16:14
Speaker
do you think? i I think i I may have said it at the time. I don't know. we going to be a bit more populist next time around? Yes. yeah yeah When the ADHDville mayor elections come up again, which, which are yeah, will will we will offer three pizza toppings. I think that but that might push it over the edge.
00:16:37
Speaker
That might guess there. Yes. I like that. But I... but i I, oh, oh, let's have, let's have bit of science, Martin. Go on.
00:16:48
Speaker
You ready? Yeah. Okay. So why does the ADHD brain freeze? Okay. The frontal lobe, Martin, not the back lobe, not the side lobes, the frontal lobe of the brain handles executive functions. You maybe already knew that.
00:17:05
Speaker
The cognitive skills we use to plan, focus, remember instructions and juggle multiple tasks. In an ADHD brain, the executive function system has a hard time sorting out information by importance, right?
00:17:21
Speaker
m The neurotypical brain automatically creates a hierarchy, e.g., I need the cheapest olive oil, so ignore the rest. So just the cheapest, okay? ADHD brain treats every single variable with equal urgency, right?
00:17:41
Speaker
For example, price, bottle-shaped, label design, guilty. Around the orangey country, the organic... That's so true. The organic status all bombard the brain at the same time.
00:17:58
Speaker
ah Right. No, exactly. Right. yeah Because, like, we also... So autistics as as as as well. So us neurodivergers...
00:18:09
Speaker
We have to like we have to like think of all the options yeah we have to but and we have to predict the outcome of each option. So you go down the path of, if I choose this one, then I have to kind of think about, well, what what is no like what what is that like?
00:18:29
Speaker
And then to go down each one and and the thing and and you have to kind of manage on the back end, well, what if I make the wrong choice? yeah know um umm um I'm going to feel crap.
00:18:41
Speaker
I'm going to feel bad. So I have to manage all my all my possible future eighty um sort of outcomes and and emotions. And our brain kind of goes, you know what I'm going to do? um'm i'm i'm I'm just going to stop.
00:18:59
Speaker
I'm just going to stop. Yeah. I'm just going to... Power down. b And then we I have just realised the situation when I have choice paralysis.
00:19:13
Speaker
I knew this was going happen at some point. This is what I live for. This is what I live for. This is why I do the pod. I love... I love wine. Wine. Wine.
00:19:24
Speaker
why So I go into wine store. I know that my Italian girlfriend, she she also said she said to me, when you get to the wine part of the supermarket, call me. Right?
00:19:46
Speaker
Yes. And I said, no, no, no, no. Come on. and A little bit of trust. Okay. So then get to the wine section and think, oh, no.
00:19:59
Speaker
So this is when it gets really tricky. She likes rosé, but oh yeah she she likes it to be dry and she doesn't like screw tops.
00:20:10
Speaker
Absolutely. choices. good good good good choices doesn't like screw tops. Yeah. and But then she then I'll start looking at the prices.
00:20:24
Speaker
Okay, oh, there's a deal going. But there's 33% off this one. why yes uh well because of distribution and stuff like that you know they need to renew the shelves and people aren't but aren't buying it and it's just taking up shelf space so they're trying to get rid of it yeah and i know the ones that she wants me to get Because it's there's always one that she always likes me to get. And i would I want to think that, you know, there's part of me in that choice. So then it starts getting difficult.
00:21:04
Speaker
Oh, God, yes. Oh, God. So then I start looking up my head at Jamie's angle. because the price is The higher up you go, the prices are higher.
00:21:17
Speaker
so Yeah, yeah. Top shelf. Shelf height coincides with the cost quite often. Yeah, i yeah, yeah. So I think, oh, what if we had a tree?
00:21:30
Speaker
ah What if he had a treat? And start looking. It's a new top shelf. And then what happens, i hand up, guilty. It pretty much goes down to the label design at that point.
00:21:47
Speaker
So you say you've basically you've got all this choice and you have to narrow it down to something. So yeah so rather than it has to be rosé and dry and ah ah cork, um I'm going to basically kind of ignore most of that and just go with design.
00:22:04
Speaker
well what yeah what What do I like? what What font doing it? Yeah, and if it's shit design, there's no way I'm going to buy it, even if it's good.
00:22:16
Speaker
Even if it's the best value wine ever. love it so much. You know, someone's just used Times Roman on it or something. Oh, God.
00:22:27
Speaker
Comic Sans. it's like really bad colors and stuff. You know, peach kind of sunsets. It's got sunset on it.
00:22:37
Speaker
with like really overuse of gold foil ah to make a look more luxury, more premium. Right. Don't try and sell me with your premium gold foil. I see
Tools for Managing Choice Paralysis
00:22:50
Speaker
right through you.
00:22:51
Speaker
I see right through your gold foil. ah
00:22:57
Speaker
And then next to it is the silver foil. You can shut up as well.
00:23:04
Speaker
ah ah Oh, fucking hell. So then i I buy it and I kind of sneak back home. Yes, yes, yes. By the way, a friend very good friend of mine, is um he owns a restaurant and it's on a Michelin guide.
00:23:24
Speaker
Right. He said screw tops are absolutely fine now. If it's a fresh wine, so if it's a wine that matures matures over time,
00:23:36
Speaker
um then definitely cork. If it's a fresh wine, so does it doesn't, you know, if you're buying 2025, 2026. Beaujolais. Beaujolais, fresh wine. Screwtops are absolutely fine.
00:23:51
Speaker
and alright yeah All right. Michelin Guide Sommelier. Okay, so so you've so you've so you've bought your wine based on the label design and you've gone home.
00:24:04
Speaker
God, I'm a big sheepishly. Ta-da! Ta-da. usually the usually first first thing I say is, I didn't get the one you asked for. She's like, fucking hell.
00:24:16
Speaker
Yeah. Again. She says, first thing she says, is there screw top? Uh-huh. And then tell the story about my friend. is is sub like She's like, fucking hell. What do you know? You're Italian. you What do you know about wine? Nothing. I'm English.
00:24:38
Speaker
ah That's the other thing. They know that I'm English, and they do not trust English people to buy good wine. That's fair, I would say. That's fair
00:24:53
Speaker
fair. The French say they they send all their shit wine over to England because none of the French want to buy it. Yep. But the English will trick anything. Right. i say Complete sense.
00:25:07
Speaker
So you don't have, do you have examples, Martin, of choice paralysis? were saying it's maybe in life choices. Right. Oh, yeah. Usually it's it's it's it's it's it's in the bigger things, um which honestly feels like... Oh, you know what? there's there's there's ah there's ah There's one other story that I'll just follow this on. But...
00:25:34
Speaker
Sometimes. So choice paralysis gets a bad rap because yeah because you know like because if you don't make a decision or a choice, life will make it for you, right?
00:25:46
Speaker
And then you end up like having to deal with the consequences of... of of that But there are some good parts to choice paralysis, which is if you have to make a really big choice, like who you're gonna who who you going to marry or or if you're going to like um yeah ah you know like buy a house,
00:26:09
Speaker
like some things deserve a lot of thought where you're actually thinking about all the options and what might happen and ah so sometimes totally um that that works out also the other interesting totally me um choice paralysis story i have is when i was so during covid i didn't have a job ah money was getting tight, so I started to sell musical, some of my stuff. And I had this acoustic bass guitar that I hadn't played. It was given to me as ah as a as a leaving gift um from an ad agency. It was really nice guitar.
00:26:53
Speaker
Martin, it was... a Martin base. Um, and so I sold it. Um, and I got like a thousand bucks for it and I thought, okay, fine. You know what? When I actually have some money, I'm going to give myself that thousand bucks back.
00:27:14
Speaker
right so like So I sold the guitar, got $1,000, then I paid off some bills, right? yeah thought, well, okay. i will So now i owe myself in some sort of musical instrument.
00:27:29
Speaker
Okay. And that was in, what, 2000? When was COVID
00:27:38
Speaker
Jesus Christ. So in my head, I've got $1,000 to spend, and I haven't spent it yet because I can't decide on what to spend it on, right? oh Or you can spend it on me.
00:27:52
Speaker
It's made your life easier. I'll just write out check and spend it on me. Can you buy me a banjo, please? Oh, blimey. Absolutely. Thanks. So I enjoy, I think I've said this before, I enjoy the the the the choice paralysis I have about spending that money.
00:28:15
Speaker
i enjoy thinking about, oh, I could buy this, oh, I could buy that, or could buy this. So what you're saying is you can gamify it. Well, yeah. you It's a little bit of gamifying, isn't it?
00:28:27
Speaker
Right, because if if you if the choice is something that you enjoy, I guess, yeah is in your special interest, perhaps, it's like it's it's like you have a camera, right?
00:28:40
Speaker
If you had a thousand dollars, whatever that converts to in in lira, um and you could buy...
00:28:53
Speaker
a camera and yeah and and you didn't need it now because you because you already had one but you yeah there was a possibility you you could sit there and read online oh this camera oh this nikon oh this this canon i could get this Hasselblad or whatever it is right you could just sit there and just dream and shop perpetually shop and get this get this sort of dopamine hit from her master shopping Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
But it's funny mention that because i already know exactly what camera I'll get. Of course. was it has like and What I've done, this is where choice, with choice paralysis, YouTube is really useful.
00:29:37
Speaker
m If you want some, make this, well, let's use that example, cameras. you have got people coming out of your ears with her advice about what camera to buy or not to buy.
00:29:52
Speaker
a lot of it is shit advice, but it takes a while to find the right kind of people for to get give the right advice about stuff. um And if you've got choice brands, also cars.
00:30:06
Speaker
i was when i yeah but The first time I bought a new car was the car I've got now, which is a Nissan, And I took a long time, not because I had choice paralysis, but I just wanted to make the right choice. Right.
00:30:21
Speaker
And i YouTube was brilliant for that.
00:30:27
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. yeah Because because it's it is in interesting that it does yeah that you can it it does work for you. yeah If you've got the they the time, you can gradually, step by step, just work through absolutely that that choice process until you arrive somewhere. Because as I said, there's just so much information.
00:30:52
Speaker
Oh, it's madness. That it takes us a long time to process all of that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. But I've got um three quick hacks to break the brain freeze.
00:31:06
Speaker
Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Give it. So here we go. There's three different ideas you can do. You can use the satisfying rule. It says satisfying. Instead of looking for the perfect choice, i.e. maximizing your choice, choose the first option that meets your minimum criteria of good enough.
00:31:29
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Okay. That's quite cool. Second um tip, use the rule of two. If you have 10 choices, okay, say 10 bottles of wine, rosé, randomly eliminate eight of them, maybe violently even. Just right push them aside. Just throw those but aside bottles off the shelf.
00:31:53
Speaker
Just shove them on the floor. Wine spill on aisle nine. Wine spill on aisle nine. You just like, ba pi and So if you have 10 choices, randomly eliminate eight of them immediately.
00:32:09
Speaker
It is biological easier biologically easier for an ADHD brain to choose between two things rather than 10.
00:32:20
Speaker
Right. I would argue i would argue three. But anyway, yes. The last tip is externalize the decision. Flip a coin.
00:32:50
Speaker
That's great. That's very interesting. Very interesting. they Yes. Okay. So um should we should we do the ratings on this, Martin?
00:33:01
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, there's ah there's yeah there's there's a lot that I didn't get to, so I'll just kind of rattle off a couple of quick thoughts. That's cool. Okay.
00:33:13
Speaker
Because ah often when you, you know, like you might say, oh, I can't decide on something and and, you know, and what's going on is that you can't tolerate really, you know, what, you know, if you make the wrong choice, right? because Yeah.
00:33:30
Speaker
And actually people please up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, especially for It's nightmare. Blimey. It's like, oh, I know I want Marmite, but I know that my friend doesn't like Marmite.
00:33:44
Speaker
I know that my friend wants a dry rose that's not too too too sweet and is a has a cork in it. um Yeah. so So actually, you you tend to think that it's the fear that that you fear making the choice, but actually it's it's more like regret.
00:34:05
Speaker
yeah the you know it's actually the regret of making the wrong choice that you're worried about. it yeah It's that sort of emotional... The fear of the consequences.
00:34:17
Speaker
Right, because it
Balancing Impulsivity and Prudence
00:34:18
Speaker
because it's because making the wrong choice isn't... is it Because you tend to think it's ah it's a love it's a logical thing, but actually it's more of an um an emotional thing. it's like yes like It's like... Making choices comes with a lot of feelings and possible feelings if you make the wrong one. then anyway Especially around Christmas time. oh my God. Christmas time. Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker
ah yeah a Yeah. But, you know. Okay. But, all right. So, let's um let's ah let's rate Decision Pallis. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Ready for the banjos?
00:35:06
Speaker
Yes. Is it a dopamine hit or is it a burn-out thing? is it Is it a dopamine hit or a burnout thing? What? Just a reminder that last time, um the last episode, I asked you if you're ever going to do a radio edit mix of that.
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah, and I never did. Yeah, I'd pay for it. I'd pay money. Let me just write that down as a note. I'd pay money for it.
00:35:37
Speaker
Radio edit of ah ah Banjo. And then ah any but any ah particular genre that you would like that in? Lo-fi.
00:35:52
Speaker
I like the fact that you when you're singing it, it's lo-fi. It's like, yeah, I've kind of singing it kind of like kind of, you know, not with a maximum of enthusiasm. Just like chilled, chilled, you know, lo-fi.
00:36:08
Speaker
Chilled, lo-fi. version of the of the of the ratings as a track. I've just written that down. All right. All right. thats ah Okay. Anyway, so who wants to go first? who ah You go first, Martin. All right. So dopamine hit. I guess for this is like, m okay, so is choice paralysis a good thing?
00:36:33
Speaker
I think in the in the, as I said, in the bigger things of life where you do have to make you you have to put in a lot of effort into making choices and and and and and and you can't be snap about it. you You have to like really think about it. I think that's a good thing. So, i ah but I would give it a score about six. So not, not great, but something, something.
00:37:02
Speaker
This one's difficult for me, Martin West. I, because I, I don't, I never have. Oh, ah spoke Okay, I have to think about Paul at the wine store.
00:37:16
Speaker
Well, the yeah I would argue that i would argue that that somehow you've come to a place where you've decided, you know what, it's better just to make a choice than to not make a choice. Totally, yes. So therefore... there's a little bit of me that when I'm taking the home taking home the wine I've chosen...
00:37:40
Speaker
It's not the rosé that she wanted. It's a little bit more expensive. And it's got and a nice label design. There's a certain element of me that's kind of quietly satisfied.
00:37:53
Speaker
right so that's so Right. So dopamine is quite high in that moment. I feel be yeah feeling a bit naughty, but in a good way. Right. so I would think it would be quite high for you, given you everything you've said. ah Yeah. I've talked my way i've taught my work myself around to Yeah, that's pretty ah pretty pretty good. ah my my My burnout score, so that this would be ah where I don't make choices. Oh, ah it it can be high for me. Like if if I don't make those big choices and just fumble around and not get off my ass and do something, know, like, know, because sometimes life, you know, requires you to make big choices and big decisions. And and sometimes i'm not I'm not that quick about making them.
00:38:49
Speaker
So and um sometimes I am, but so I would say, oh, right. So the the but the burnout score is is like an, ah can be like a 7.1. I think.
00:39:00
Speaker
point one think coming off right hey Right. Because because i'm I'm like you, Paul. i'm I'm like you in in that I'm very good at making snap choices, right? So right in the business world, it's like this, this, this, you know, um ah and and and I can make choices all day long, but um but yeah, yeah, but those big ones.
00:39:28
Speaker
Let's talk about that a second. like When you make a choice, you're just you're doing an ad campaign and you you're deciding you're going to take the agency down a certain creative direction.
00:39:42
Speaker
You're convinced about that. Because you have to be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I go... like You don't communicate doubt. It's like, no, this is the right this the way you should go. Right, right. Because I've got the i've i've got what the client wants.
00:39:58
Speaker
I read that again. This is what they want. i look at all the ideas on the wall. I go... Option A fits what this is better, yeah and and I can point to why that works here, and that's where we're going.
00:40:14
Speaker
but yeah ah Definitely. um'm Based on that, I'm going to give it a 0.3 burn up for me.
00:40:25
Speaker
That sounds like sounds like you. Yeah, yeah. Because i like that I like the thrill of making decisions. I'm the total opposite. Yeah, yeah. No, i i know i i I like being decisive.
00:40:39
Speaker
and And people like me being decisive, generally. Right. Because there gets a point, especially in in business and that kind thing, where you realize, actually...
00:40:54
Speaker
If you make, it's it's better to make a choice even if it's the wrong one yeah than to faff around trying to find the right one.
00:41:04
Speaker
You know? Yeah,
Episode Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:41:06
Speaker
totally. And then just roll over bed that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. you mistake, then you just roll over it and get on to the next thing. Totally.
00:41:15
Speaker
and Yeah. Cool. All right. So this is the part where you say, I say your feedback is vital to us so we might if you your comments, please do. Good, bad, different. We a Absolutely. Let's make our way to Alexandria's Haltedin.
00:41:47
Speaker
In the tractor. Right. Yeah. So we were talking about misokinesia, the hatred, the if you like, of of of of movement and...
00:42:04
Speaker
Really good comment. there was There was a lot of ice cream eating in in there that was kind of quite funny. I ah pulled out a few things. One was, i actually enjoy men playing with their beard, which is even weirder.
00:42:22
Speaker
Oh, she likes it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like playing with that. I don't really have have a ony aver small one, obviously.
00:42:34
Speaker
and And then she... You know you know that you know the the thing that's like the kind of stereotypical thing of a wise man? Yeah.
00:42:45
Speaker
The longest I've ever had a beard, I think it got to about two inches long. And it did make me feel a little bit wiser. Oh, right. When I was stroking it. Right, because I think all those hairs just collect thoughts and ideas and wisdom. like it it It filters them filters them out ah out out of the air. It makes you more sage. Yeah.
00:43:09
Speaker
Right. Sage and Onion. Sage and Onion. She also says about movement. ah Talking about the gym, I thought that at my gym, there are two guys running it. The morning guy is very chill.
00:43:22
Speaker
And I like going in the morning. But the afternoon guy is so bouncy. don't know how to say it, but it irritates me. he's ah he's ah He's a good lad.
00:43:33
Speaker
Oh, my God. Chill a bit.
00:43:37
Speaker
i know love I know what she means, totally. It's like this um this ah Brad Pitt plays it um in in a film. He plays a gymnasium staff person.
00:43:49
Speaker
Right. of A personal trainer. e That's what I'm trying to say. Personal trainer at gym played by Brad Pitt. And he's overly enthusiastic and he's brilliant.
00:44:02
Speaker
Brad Pitt. He's really annoying because he's good looking, he's w rich and he's talented and a great actor. All right. so just so as She just just finishes off by saying, lovely episode. i think I ate too much ice ice cream.
00:44:18
Speaker
um Okay. You know what? hey ah Summer is is, so I'm really looking forward to eating ice cream in in the summer. And if I get like a tub of ice cream, I will eat the whole fucking thing.
00:44:29
Speaker
Did that last night? Yeah. And then I have weird dreams. I have i have ice cream dreams. Oh, I did last night. Yeah. I had last night three flavours, Martin.
00:44:44
Speaker
You ready? ah Three flavours. Go on. Yeah. Coconut. Strawberry. Yeah. And caramelised fig. Ooh, caramelised fig. That sounds nice.
00:44:56
Speaker
It was excellent. and All right. So now it is. there So, yeah yeah, get your comments in. um what What are we talking about? Choice paralysis. Do you find making choices difficult? Do you find them easy? Is it the big things? Is it the small things? Do you find...
00:45:17
Speaker
Do you choose wine by the label, the design? Tell us. Tell us. Tell us Yeah, don't hold back. Right. Okay. Well, think we now. Should we the quiz? Let's fucking get in there, mate. Let's just do it. Here we go.
00:45:36
Speaker
It's the quiz. It's the quiz. All right. It's a quiz where Paul and I battle it out week in, week out with a multiple with a ah two truths and a lie or something like that. Something like that, yeah. and And ah the the the current scores are Paul is on four and I'm on three.
00:46:00
Speaker
so um'm but So I'm catching up. Catching up, okay. But go this going to be, I think, I don't this is quite a challenging one for you, Martin. Good. Other theme of choice paralysis, it's a multiple choice.
00:46:15
Speaker
Nice. So the choice paralysis is built in to the quiz. I love it. Yeah. And the theme is, okay, I was thinking about your dog, Eddie.
00:46:29
Speaker
Oh, so this week's theme are Eddie's in history. Oh, wow. He will like that. Yes.
00:46:39
Speaker
Okay. Are you ready? I am poised. Eddie Izzard, one of my favourite comedians. Yes. The first Eddie of the Eddie theme. Okay.
00:46:52
Speaker
Yes. um Of these three things that Eddie Izzard said, one of them he did not say. Okay. Okay.
00:47:04
Speaker
Honeybees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it. Do earwigs make chutney? It's brilliant.
00:47:15
Speaker
I don't think they do. Honeybees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it. Do earwigs make chutney? No, they don't. like Bees are like the in the insect world. They're pretty full on.
00:47:28
Speaker
So did he say that? oh Did he say two? I grew up in Europe where the history comes from. Right. Or did he say three?
00:47:44
Speaker
Father, bless me for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a fork.
00:47:56
Speaker
Such a crazy selection. Yeah. All right. um I'm going to go... see i Purposely vague. Very vague. I can't pick any of them. I'm literally going to go on the fact that you sometimes put the the fake one last.
00:48:11
Speaker
So i'm so i'm just just goingnna I'm just going to go with that and say that C... Dab you! You're right. He didn't say...
00:48:24
Speaker
he He actually said, Father, bless me for I've sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon. Oh, right. Oh, wow. Right.
00:48:34
Speaker
Okay. We're going to move on, Martin. Yeah. To King Edward, Eddie, King Eddie, the seventh. Oh, God. Edward's seventh, yeah.
00:48:46
Speaker
Bit of a bit of a yeah reputation, okay? He was famously known as Dirty Bertie or the Playboy Prince before he was king, obviously.
00:48:58
Speaker
i Right? Right. Long before he took the throne, was perhaps the most prolific womanizer in British royal history. Jesus. Because he was fiercely...
00:49:09
Speaker
discreet and his personal correspondence was systematically burned by his widow, Queen Alexandra, after his death. okay But historians generally agree that he had a certain number of known affairs.
00:49:25
Speaker
These affairs, not like, you know, you know something in the back streets with a lady or something, and that's it. Affairs. Okay. Was it A...
00:49:37
Speaker
55 distinct known affairs. Was it two? 155 distinct known affairs or three? 255 distinct known affairs.
00:49:50
Speaker
Wow. they The the. OK, so I don't know because I wasn't there at the time. i remember I didn't keep like a record of it.
00:50:04
Speaker
Right. However, so in these things, is general the general rule is if if you always go with the bigger number.
00:50:16
Speaker
Oh.
00:50:18
Speaker
Like, it although... That's lot of affairs, Martin. That's a lot of affairs, 255. But now that I've said, now I have to go back to my rule of three, which is like there's one low one, one high one, and then the middle one is probably the right one. I'm going to go with the middle one. I'm going to go with B. Go with B. No.
00:50:39
Speaker
it was a It was the first one, 55. 55. That's a lot of affairs, Martin. Yeah, but it's not 125, so it feels quite a a reasonable amount now.
00:50:53
Speaker
Maybe you.
00:50:57
Speaker
i've got a certain I've got a certain reputation. I didn't realise it crept up on me. When I tell people, especially women, how many um um relationships I've had with other women, they're amazed. Blimey, Paul.
00:51:16
Speaker
you Really? is it that Is that a lot? Well, yeah. Anyway, that's all right. so last question. It's all on this. A body count. I never.
00:51:28
Speaker
Body count. Have you never done it? I never expected that to come up. Oh, the whole body count thing is a fucking pile of bullshit. Doesn't matter. Yeah, um it's nonsense. Exactly. OK, last yeah one. OK, it's all on this.
00:51:47
Speaker
Yeah. OK. Edward Woodward. Oh, yeah. Famous British actor. Mm-hmm. Edward Woodward. OK. Interesting guy. Very good actor. But was it his real name?
00:52:02
Speaker
Okay. Right. Okay. One of these is his right is this right name. Okay. Okay. The one he was born with. Okay. Right.
00:52:14
Speaker
Edward Timberland. Okay. Okay. Edward Woodward. So actually, what's his real name? Right. Or just Edward Wood.
00:52:28
Speaker
Edward Wood. so okay Edward Timberland. Edward Wood Wood or Edward Wood. No, Edward Wood. Edward Wood.
00:52:41
Speaker
ah Tricky one. All right. So we've had C. We've had a going to say that that's his real name.
00:52:52
Speaker
That's his real actual name. Edward Woodward. how Why would anyone anyone call themselves Edward Woodward? I mean, it's a great name, but yeah would you give your baby that?
00:53:05
Speaker
Probably not. Unless you're Nats. I mean, he was Nats, so maybe he had Nats parents. All right, you know what? I'm going to stick with it. I'm going stick with it. Well, Edward Woodward. Yeah, real name.
00:53:18
Speaker
Is Edward Woodward correct. Oh, so I've got two. You've got two wear drawings. It's four all. Good Lord, I didn't think going get that. It's four all. I've crept up and I've... We're now even Stevens. So this is a race... So this is a race to 10. Steady Eddies. Even Stevens or Steady Eddies. That's fucking amazing.
00:53:45
Speaker
All right. um Let's talk about next next week's quiz. Um... i thought I thought, because we brought this up a while ago, couple of episodes back.
00:54:00
Speaker
um So I think episode 138, wouldn't it, yeah the next episode? I think this is a banging thing. It's a banger.
00:54:11
Speaker
It's a banger. So I thought we would do ADHD and the male menopause, also known as andropause. Yes. Because no one talks about it.
00:54:24
Speaker
I didn't even really think about it until you brought it up the other week. Okay. Okay. It wasn't even on my radar. What else Nothing. Okay, let's talk about that then.
00:54:37
Speaker
Right. And know I was thinking like... Yeah, yeah, And I was like, hang on a sec. Because i typed it all out, ADHD and male menopause and andropause. was like, wait, why is me menopause, why is not that not the male version? It has men in it That's freaky, yeah.
00:54:59
Speaker
has men right there. The other one should be womenopause. Sort of a femipause. Why isn't women called femipause? Anyway, so on I so had to had to look up andropause. And of course, andropause is Greek for men or male. So that's why.
00:55:20
Speaker
That's why. Interesting subject. And then I went on the subject and I found out that that's so andropause is is the male you know thing. And then i since learned that Android.
00:55:32
Speaker
so So that's why that's where you get an Android from is because it's like male. Okay. i Andropause, male. It's like a male a machine. so There's also that expression if if if someone...
00:55:49
Speaker
is um if you're not sure, like Tilda Swinton is is a bit masculine and a bit feminine. And you call that... Androgynous. Androgynous.
00:56:00
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Anyway. There you go. All right. Well, that's have chat about... i know it's winter I know. So i'm I'm looking forward to kind of digging into into that. I think it's going to surprise me.
00:56:18
Speaker
um All right. All right. So it just leaves me to say that ADHD, Phil, is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all buffers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most... What are we doing this week?
00:56:33
Speaker
ah more Most your choicely. Yeah, your number one choice of ADHD-themed podcasts. And feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces.
00:56:48
Speaker
Then there's, ah there's ah you can sadly force to the YouTubes and the TikToks. And you can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdwill at gmail.com. In the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself.
00:57:02
Speaker
And I precede you Martin, and fellow ADHDers, fare thee well with gladness of heart. There, says the mayor, that's that.
00:57:13
Speaker
Nice. So what's all that laughter and chit-chat going on? I'm just passing by my window. I have to keep my window open because it's very hot.
00:57:25
Speaker
Alright, heatwave. It's a breeze. It's heatwave, Martin, in Europe. Alright, okay. Heatwave. Heatwave.