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Episode 144 - Summer Special 1
36 Plays8 hours ago
Welcome to the Summer Special Edition of A New Cougar! 🐆 Paul is off for a couple of months, so it’s just me (Martin) holding down the fort in ADHDville.
In this week’s solo episode, we’re getting real about the chaos of the ADHD brain. I’m reading from the ADHDville Gazette, which means we’re covering everything from the existential dread of a dentist appointment (and the weird pride that comes with actually going) to the classic ADHD move of showing up for an appointment that doesn’t exist... because I made a reminder for a date I never booked. 😅
We also dive into the science of why sleep deprivation makes us terrible at reading facial expressions—and why that explains so much about our morning interactions. Plus, I open up about the recent loss of my dog Eddie, looking at grief through the lens of ADHD and "object permanence." It’s a mix of messy, emotional, and (hopefully) relatable.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fit into a box, had a brain that just whirs at 2 AM, or wondered why you're exhausted after a simple trip to the store, this one is for you.
Listen now and subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday!
💬 Drop a comment: Do you struggle with sleep or grief as an AuDHD/ADHDer? I want to hear your stories.
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Transcript
Introduction to Summer Special
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in the room, back in the room and it's just me, it's just me I'm glad that you could you you could join me so let's let's get into it let's go to a place where the distractions are landmarks and the detours are the main roads welcome to the summer special edition of New Year's
00:00:34
Speaker
It's just me on my own. It's a little bit weird, but we're gonna have to just cope.
Self-Care and ADHDville Gazette
00:00:44
Speaker
that's right we're all just gonna have to cope um so uh as as i may have said uh this the uh the pulls off for the next uh couple of months he'll be back in september and we can just do the normal regular podcast uh then but um i'm going to be keeping company from here until then and what I thought I would do is in ADHDville we have a a newspaper called the ADHDville Gazette so I thought I would just read from that so so it will be a mix of ADHD
00:01:33
Speaker
adh d a news, research, personal stories, there'll be ah the occasional guest hopefully I was going to do a just remember though I was going to read the the the horoscope but that page seems to be the missing so I'll have to do that next week um there's a letters section where I'll just read out the comments
00:02:05
Speaker
and maybe we'll go on the odd excursion um out into ADHD-ville in some ah episodes coming up just to mix it up a bit just to do something a little bit different alright so let's get the newspaper in front of me there we go alright let's see what we've got let's see what we've got oh yeah yeah the whole the whole tooth about the ADHD-ville-nare
00:02:40
Speaker
uh yeah oh yeah that that story yeah that that story is about me going to the dentist only a couple of days ago ah which which is which is you know what it's it's something that I I've spent a lot of time not going to the dentist and then now that I do see it now I've seen a dentist now like them regularly for for a few years now um and i i like it I like the concept that I go to a dentist um and I get taken care of because it's self-care which is something that I'm not particularly great at i try and work on
00:03:31
Speaker
And then so the dentist is like one of those things that I um that i do take seriously now. um But actually going, being there, I mean, I don't have to tell you. I don't have to tell you.
Early Eye Appointment Mishap
00:03:51
Speaker
there's There's the sounds, there's these sensations, there's the drill, there's the the picking and the prodding and and the god and that holding your mouth open.
00:04:02
Speaker
for extended periods of time we is just really mmm it's not it's not fun
00:04:13
Speaker
but some there's a thought that kind of crept up on me over the years which was and it comes from like when I would have to have an in in you know like when they numb the mouth they kind of inject you so there's a needle part
00:04:34
Speaker
and I found that I didn't mind it, like it was okay, like once it had happened once or twice then i was like okay, it stings a bit but it's okay and then I was like oh okay you know you know what i don't mind this i don't mind this and and there was some no not not uh there was some positive vibes some some nice feelings that i got from knowing that the injection was going to be fine and i was like yeah no i can do this i can do this this is this is
00:05:17
Speaker
I am capable and if in in any in fact the whole dentist thing has been about I can do this like I am that I'm a person that can go to the dentist and have work done and drills and i it's not fun and I come out exhausted but I am a but i But I'm proud of myself that I've stepped up and looked after myself and there's self-care there. and And that's and i I like that. I like that I am that person now because cause I wasn't ever that person.
00:05:56
Speaker
So that's a nice little story. um And then in another ADHD, crazy, ah stupid thing that I'm sure everyone can can relate to, I was supposed to go to, had an eye appointment yesterday and It popped up on my phone. like like ah I wasn't really aware that I had one, but I did put in a reminder on my phone.
00:06:29
Speaker
And it popped up and it said, oh, in half an hour, you have eye appointment. I went, buth um hit thank you, past self, for putting that reminder.
00:06:42
Speaker
That's great. I didn't give myself much time, half an hour, but fine. It's only 15 minutes away. I can do this. jump in the car, go go to the eye appointment, arrive.
00:06:56
Speaker
They say, who are you? I say, yeah, it's me. I'm here. And they say, why are you here? I'm here for this. And they're like, I don't know why you're here for this because there's no appointment for you. I'm like, what?
00:07:09
Speaker
So I'm looking at my phone trying to find any evidence that they'd sent me anything at all. And there was like a brief, text conversation that kind of went no we don't have anything on this day but we've got something on that day or something
00:07:33
Speaker
so
00:07:37
Speaker
I think what, what came out of it was that I was about four months too early. it wasn't until September and somehow in my eagerness to kind of be organized, I'd managed put a reminder for myself for a, for an appointment that I never made.
00:08:04
Speaker
Oh God. Anyway, so those were those two two two two things that were going on in my life this week. One a success and one a mis misfire. All right, what else we got?
Impact of Sleep Deprivation on ADHD
00:08:22
Speaker
All right, next up, I was looking at some research ah on online. And there was this little interesting article, this this research paper in in Nature that kind of came out, ah think it was only about a month ago or so ago, which was basically after have to scroll down now.
00:08:53
Speaker
Scroll down. um It was about the effects of sleep deprivation on the processing of emotional facial expressions in young adults with and without ADHD. So it was basically saying if your sleep were deprived, which I know that, you know, quite a lot of people with ADHD um suffer with not getting enough sleep.
00:09:26
Speaker
Can they, actually this was from 2021, just looking at it. um in a ah How does their ADHD affect the processing you know of someone else's facial expressions? So whether they're angry or sad, you know, like um if our brains are tired,
00:09:54
Speaker
does that affect us? But more than just affect us, like how does it compare to someone else who doesn't have ADHD? Like, like yes, it will make us harder to process someone's emotions if you if you don't sleep enough. but But are we better or worse or the same as someone who who who who doesn't?
00:10:20
Speaker
have ADHD. um And there are some kind of interesting key to takeaways. One is The ADHD brains are much more vulnerable to sleep loss. So after 25 hours without sleep, the ADHD group of people showed that more, that their attention was a lot less, which is no real surprise.
00:10:53
Speaker
prize um they had less consistent consistent retention and also that their that they had more impulsive risks they had more impulsive risk responses which is like their their inhibition was poorer um So, yeah, we did, we struggled more to actually, um to register someone else's sort of emotional state. And not only that, but if we saw that they were angry, then we were less likely to kind of
00:11:37
Speaker
ah control that to kind of like not w risk risk respond to to to that um
00:11:48
Speaker
which I thought was kind of You know, it's it's it's one of those things where you kind of think, yeah, well, of course, like if they have if I haven't had enough sleep, then, you know, um my emotional regulation kind of goes goes out.
00:12:07
Speaker
But I hadn't really thought about how... um it affected how we looked at people's faces. Like, so recognizing facial expressions isn't just about sort of emotions. It requires you to like notice the face, maintain attention on it, and then kind of like ah inhibit any incorrect risk, risk, risk, risk responses to that, to that face.
00:12:39
Speaker
um And it, it it ah This study did so suggest that many people with ADHD may begin each day with a reduced cognitive ah reserve, making them more so susceptible to further sleep loss.
00:13:00
Speaker
which is that cycle, right? So that, you know, like, ah you know, you wake up tired, you have a bad day because because you aren't coping that well.
00:13:14
Speaker
So you're even more tired and you find it hard to sleep and it just kind of builds up more stress and and a anxiety. um But I hadn't really kind of... um
00:13:27
Speaker
thought about the facial recognition part of people around you like you just can't read them as well as as well um so that's kind of like definitely worth thinking about when you know if you get up in the morning and you haven't had your cup of coffee and someone's talking to you that you know like Yeah, you know, that when you're trying to read the expressions on their faces, maybe maybe it's a not so
00:14:03
Speaker
not so easy.
ADHD and Sleep Issues: Lifestyle vs. Genetics
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah there was something else about sleep as well. what What was I'm just looking? yeah,
00:14:16
Speaker
there was something about.
00:14:20
Speaker
All right, here we go. There was some research which was that ADHD symptoms appear to drive sleep problems over time rather than sleep problems simply causing ADHD symptoms.
00:14:35
Speaker
So um there was this study about how how genetic, you know, like where does this problem from sleep come from?
00:14:49
Speaker
um Is it a genetic thing, you like part of the ADHD condition or LDH, HD?
00:15:00
Speaker
Is it a genetic component like ADHD is or is it a a behavioral lifestyle thing?
00:15:14
Speaker
Like how do those two, how is it all divided up? um So if this ah study found that there was a strong connection between ADHD and poor sleep. Between 20% and 55% of people with ADHD experience significant sleep disturbances, And this large study confirmed the relationship is rogue robust.
00:15:43
Speaker
So yeah, we definitely have problems sleeping. is It finds that ADHD meds seem to reduce that connection. so meds can help with your sleep issues if you if if you have them.
00:16:08
Speaker
And then they looked at the genetics of ADHD. They looked at at the genetics of sleep and sleep disorders.
00:16:20
Speaker
And there are some shared...
00:16:24
Speaker
genetics between the two, but they are surprisingly small. the the The to genetic overlap explained only about 0.3% of the variation that tells us that while some genes influence both ADHD and sleep, most of the connection is probably due to a brain function, behavior, routines, and environmental factors that that shared, ah rather than the shared genes alone.
00:16:59
Speaker
So that means that, um yeah, the the ah that it appears like this the sleep problems are more on, you know, less, or very much less a genetic thing, more about a,
00:17:19
Speaker
a a lifestyle thing but it's almost like a sort of a all the effects of ADHD and the and the downsides of it um and all of the stresses and all of the you know it just you know and and how your brain just whirs and just overthinks um and then you can't you know and your emotional regulation is all over the place and that and that cycle just just doesn't, is not very conducive to sleep and then just, you know, just you just do that over and over and over and over again and and it becomes a yeah a long-term problem. but um
00:18:07
Speaker
But I'm kind of glad that it's not a genetic particularly because it it it does kind of make me feel like, right, well, there is there is hope.
00:18:20
Speaker
it it's It's not like something that you're necessarily stuck with, like, like It feels like, you know, with, um you know, yeah, with maybe meds helping and different ways of, you know, lifestyle changes that, you know, the improvements can be made. So that's kind of a nice thing.
00:18:46
Speaker
That's a good thing. All right. What else is what's next in this paper?
Grieving with ADHD
00:18:51
Speaker
Oh yeah, there's a story about my poor Eddie. um Eddie's my dog of 16 years who passed away just about a week ago.
00:19:04
Speaker
And and It's been very difficult, but obviously I've been looking at it through an ADHD lens or LDHD lens as well, you know, through my personal lens just to kind of like, it's interesting going through the grief process.
00:19:31
Speaker
Um, and it's, One thing that I've really felt keenly is I um think some our brains or how my brain certainly, and we'll just talk about mine, and
00:19:54
Speaker
the way it gets through everyday life and does things in a sort of a coherent way is because it, things trigger it to do something. So I'll wake up and then there is a, they trigger to kind of like get out of bed, um, to feed Eddie and yeah, fill up his bowl and do all, all of that.
00:20:25
Speaker
um So I but wake up and all these all these learned triggers just still exist in my in my head. So I wake up and go, have to feed Eddie. And then of go, oh, yeah, no, I don't.
00:20:47
Speaker
um And there is a lot of that throughout my day. And it's surprising how many things that I do that are just like these automatic risk responses like like every time I look out into the pool I scan it just to make sure that Eddie hasn't fallen in like I can't actually look at my swimming pool and go oh that is a nice swimming pool it looks really nice no I'm scanning for maybe Eddie has fallen in
00:21:27
Speaker
and I still do that and and I still find that all the time. Like if I think, okay, um, I need to go out and get milk.
00:21:39
Speaker
My next thought is, Oh, do I leave Eddie here or do I take him with? And then go, Oh yeah, no, that's not a, I, I, I, those questions don't, I don't have to, that's not a thing anymore. So it's,
00:21:58
Speaker
it's is interesting to see how my brain works in that way. and and And I feel like that's where the loss, that's that's where you feel it. It's that little kind of,
00:22:17
Speaker
you know, and and anyone who's glossed up, you know, like a, a something that they love will, know, will know is you have a, have a thought and then you realize, that, that person, that dog, that cat, that, you know, is, is not there. And then you just have that lurching, like, ugh, feeling.
00:22:43
Speaker
Um, and the, and the other thing that I'm, interested is is ah object object permanence where if something is not there, they don't exist.
00:23:01
Speaker
and
00:23:04
Speaker
ah I feel that there's there's there's two parts to that. So um object permanence is the thing, is the the experience of um if you can't see it, it's not there. So so that means that um that they don't exist. that um So for Eddie,
00:23:34
Speaker
two types there's one type which is the it always feels like that he is there it's just it he's not he's not right there he's like in the next room or he's you know he's just behind me somewhere so there's that so there's a feeling of like he's there I just can't see him And then there's another experience which I'm seeing, which is like i will, so his leash is is hanging up where it always was hanging up.
00:24:13
Speaker
Um, and I find that as the days go on I look at that less. Like I'm not looking at it all the time. Like when I walk into the room, whatever, I would see it. It would just be a thing that I see. It's like, oh, Eddie, oh, he's he's gone and there he's there's his leash.
00:24:38
Speaker
And then as the days have going gone on, I'm just, I'm seeing it less. Like it's just it's just becoming part of the background rather than as something that's sharp and in focus and pointed and kind of hurting is kind of softens and just kind of goes into the background more.
00:25:02
Speaker
um And I think that those two things of feeling like Eddie's always there plus his stuff just kind of melting into the background is, I think that's, that feels like that's, that's part of that journey.
00:25:22
Speaker
So it's, it's, um it's, it's an interesting yeah ah thing to go through just to kind of see how my um my brain
00:25:36
Speaker
works in that regard.
00:25:41
Speaker
All right. All right. So I think there's there's a couple of things there.
Neurodivergence and Social Norms
00:25:46
Speaker
um I think we can go to um go to the letters section in our newspaper. Where are we? Where are we?
00:25:56
Speaker
um Oh, yeah. last week, last week. um
00:26:04
Speaker
Paul and I were talking about um altrovertism, like, so that's ah that syn that in that family of like introvert, extrovert, and then there altrovertism, which is... um
00:26:23
Speaker
which is this whole little little group. Go and check that out. um i like um um I'm going to para paraphrase ah alex ah Alexandra, who wrote on our YouTube comments, and she says,
00:26:41
Speaker
I truly think I don't fit in any kind of box. I consider myself an introvert who works who works quite well in certain groups and awfully in others. Group settings drain my energy, but I also find them necessary because they broaden my perspective, even if it's just to reject an idea rather than agree with it.
00:27:05
Speaker
To be honest, I don't know where I fit in and I'm starting to think I don't have to. I'm very familiar with feeling part of a group but never quite belonging and somehow being okay with that. I've also felt more alone than ever while surrounded by people.
00:27:24
Speaker
Very often in my life I've felt I don't belong anywhere. I'm living in society because of necessity but not really feeling part of it. I think the combination of ADHD and autism is why I can't completely identify With either ADHD or autism on its own, neurodiversity doesn't really fit neatly into boxes because it shows up so differently in everyone.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I've kind of paraphrased her long longer comment. But yeah, I mean, absolutely, you know, it's...
00:28:05
Speaker
you know ah When you are neurodivergent, the classic thing is when you meet a, if you've met a neurodivergent person, you've met one neurodivergent person that we're all different from each other. We're all have, we're all like, it's like different flavors of ice cream and there are millions and millions of different, slightly different variations and, and that's who we are. So it's, it's odd.
00:28:42
Speaker
who isn't i mean, you know, human nature is to try and categorize the world because, it seems so random and there's just like stuff everywhere that we have to kind of start.
00:28:56
Speaker
We like patterns and we like to group things. So we'll group stuff ah together. um and then we'll end up kind of, uh, down this road where we pigeonhole ourselves into like, Oh, are you intro? Are you extrovert? Are you out, out trovert? And you kind of go, i i don't,
00:29:17
Speaker
I don't fit quite into all any of your boxes, particularly. I'm just kind of my own little thing over here. So there is value.
00:29:29
Speaker
in grouping people um but it doesn't help if it's too so rigid if you like oh you are only this or you're only that um because we're all like shades of all kinds of different things and that's what makes you know very interesting all right well that brings us up to the half hour mark which is which if you've got this this far thank you Thank you for stumbling through this whole thing with me.
Closing and Listener Engagement
00:30:03
Speaker
um Next week, ah we're going to it all again. I'm going to try and structure this a little bit better.
00:30:14
Speaker
um Learn from this week. Get in the comments. tummy Tell me if...
00:30:24
Speaker
Yeah, give me some pointers. um also i've been like sure uh if you've got any questions now will be a great time we could do like a question and and an answer section so uh get in the comments let me know ah whether i should i i will be carrying on doing this regardless But thank you for joining me this week.
00:30:56
Speaker
So that really just leaves me over here to say that ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers to find podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod rate us most seasonally summer specials. And feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful... Beautiful faces and sadly forth to the YouTubes and the TikToks. And you can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdreal at gmail.com. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself.
00:31:33
Speaker
There, says the mayor. That's that. And this is the point where I'd normally just chat to Paul. It was like little outro, but it's just me.
00:31:45
Speaker
Ah, well, there we go. That was the first one. That was the most painful one. I will give it some thought and then we'll come back next week and maybe we'll be a bit tighter.
00:31:58
Speaker
What do you think? Did I survive? Was OK?
00:32:03
Speaker
It's difficult, isn't it? All right. Thanks for being here.