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Episode 131 - Good, Bad & The Ugly #11 - We catch up on our ADHD lives
3 Plays43 seconds ago
ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
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Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Introduction and ADHD Diagnoses
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in the room. Back in the room. back in the room, Alma. And we're glad you can join us. Very glad. let's go to a place with the distractions, the landmarks, and the detours up the road. Welcome to AHDville.
00:00:13
Speaker
Yes, let's go there. Go there. This is the M side we should have had last week. Should have had. Should have had last week.
00:00:24
Speaker
Yes. Kind of we. We've faced a little bit.
00:00:32
Speaker
This is what we should have been doing last week. Absolutely. Yeah. Hello, I'm Paul Thompson. I was diagnosed with the combined ADH and AD again, dragging and kicking screaming towards three years ago.
00:00:47
Speaker
And I'm Martin Weston. I was officially diagnosed with the combined ADHD poopoo platter in 2013 self-diagnosed autistic. And we are both the ex-mayors of ADHDville.
00:00:59
Speaker
Hello. Hanging out at the King's Agitated Head where we take care of business. Yes. cool That was a lot of talking without stopping.
00:01:11
Speaker
um And this week, as Paul mentioned in your in your very musical and intro, at we right, I am surprised. yeah i would yeah I would keep your phone free because I think but because i think Broadway is goingnna is going to phone you up for a for a musical number.
00:01:33
Speaker
It's funny you say that, Martin, because I've been told by people that but I've got a very good singing voice. All right. Some people were even said, they said risk quite recently,
00:01:46
Speaker
I said, oh, when I sang, they actually got quite a kind of a tingle going on. Oh, my. name paul Okay. And they didn't ever say, Paul, your voice carries really well. ha
Chaos and Catching Up
00:01:59
Speaker
Let's see how far you can go away and I can still hear you.
00:02:02
Speaker
And then you start walking away and start singing. They get further, further away. Right. no It's more of a range thing. I can go, and like, from kind of soprano to kind of castrado.
00:02:15
Speaker
Castrato. Oh, I mean, but I don't want to hear it because for being because you blow up people's eardrums. Yeah, it's also illegal now, castrato.
00:02:30
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. But um so if you if you held a wine glass in your hand, could you could you sing and i now could make it shatter? No. did Do you think?
00:02:42
Speaker
I could probably make it wince. You could probably em empty it wine. Yes, absolutely. No problem. of Anyhow. Anyhow. All right. Well, so this is a good, bad, and the ugly episode. We're going to stay in the pub. And the the point of this episode, which we were supposed to do last week, but didn't, is that ah Paul and I catch up on our ADHD lives.
00:03:12
Speaker
Yes. What the fuck is going on? even start it. We didn't even start it last week. I know. Last week was complete mess. We were just off on a tangent right from the word go.
00:03:24
Speaker
Right. So let's see if we can herd the cats better this week. Right. um ah Now then, so we ah divide this up into like into good, bad and ah ugly.
00:03:39
Speaker
Actually, do you have any ugly in your in your world? No.
00:03:48
Speaker
i do I don't. i have. I have. All right. Okay. All right. um yeah And ah we we ah we change from good and the bad and the ugly via your your bell.
00:04:02
Speaker
Which, well, thanks
Photography Exhibition Experience
00:04:03
Speaker
for reminding me, Martin. Yeah. Where's, yeah, Paul's lost his his little bell. It was there.
00:04:16
Speaker
Oh, no. And now it's not. Oh. See, this is a an ADHD moment right right here. Yeah, yeah.
00:04:28
Speaker
Oh, no. and He's he's hunt hunting in in pots. I'm sure. but Did I go and hang it somewhere? No, I haven't got it. All right.
00:04:39
Speaker
Okay. I haven't got it. God, it's the only... the um sound effects that I have and I've ah've failed. Yeah. All right.
00:04:51
Speaker
All right. Well, anyway, we're going to move on. i think um I think the thing that I'm interested in from you, Paul, in the world of good, right, is, don't two weeks ago, we talked about you um You were going to do a a interview, a photography interview um for as a lesbian-only photographers group.
00:05:24
Speaker
And we were all wondering how that was going to go when you turn up. yeah as not a lesbian and how how that that went so so so tell us how that whole story went well well it's a bit of a letdown really i mean i went with good intentions but when i
Teaching and Curling Adventures
00:05:46
Speaker
walked up It was heathen with people.
00:05:49
Speaker
All right. Well, that's good. Well, hey so it was an it was an it was an exhibition of, there was probably about 40 different, maybe 50 different galleries from all around the world. Okay. Photographic galleries. Okay.
00:06:07
Speaker
And I i arrived. I bumped into a friend that I i knew. That was nice. Nice. And then I decided i was just going to walk around and just get myself kind of acclimatized.
00:06:22
Speaker
Yeah, I get it. You know? So just like, you know, just get it into. And then so I was walking around and basically I, well how can I put this?
00:06:35
Speaker
I bottled it. oh oh Oh, I see. yes Because, I'll tell you why I bottled it. Because, other than the fact that I'm not not lesbian. And I'm not Lebanese.
00:06:51
Speaker
Okay. Because there was another gallery that said, yeah, come along and and have it we'll have a chat. they But theyre they're exclusively Lebanese photographers. Okay.
00:07:02
Speaker
Right? Yes. So that was one thing. The other thing was, so, and then, a lot of the other A couple of other galleries, they replied to me before I went saying, we can't because you know it costs so much, the space, that we don't actually use that. it's it's not We have to sell stuff, right? Yes.
00:07:22
Speaker
We have to sell photography. It's not a space for photographers to come along and present themselves. and so And it was full of people. and It's like, okay. Then i couldn't even find them. Okay. Okay.
00:07:37
Speaker
I couldn't even find them, the galleries, even if I was a lesbian or Lebanese or both. I couldn't find them. I was looking up at the – you know they come all in the same position, right the names of the things. It's like lesbian gallery, Lebanese.
00:07:57
Speaker
No, I couldn't find them. ah d d yes But I did have a chat with some other galleries that were a bit less – It's very intimidating.
00:08:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. They're really intimidating. But there were some nice people. There were some guys in there. I had a chat with them, and I sent them my video presentation all right off to the after afterwards.
00:08:25
Speaker
Okay. I took the list of oh i took it ive got a list of all of their contacts from about 30 different galleries.
00:08:36
Speaker
and sent them an email with my video presentation of my photography. Okay. Cool bananas. All right. Three have replied saying, thank you, but no thanks.
00:08:47
Speaker
All right. But still, you know. Yeah. I'm pushing. I'm pushing. Out there. I'm out there. Meeting people. And in the meantime, printing. I've started printing
Tax Struggles and ADHD as a Disability
00:08:58
Speaker
my photography.
00:08:59
Speaker
Oh, okay. Which is looking great. I'm loving that part of it. all right I've never created my own photography before other than snaps all right in the 1970s.
00:09:12
Speaker
All right. oh well Okay. I think that we'll we'll have to press on because we've got a lot to cover. So what what else is in your in your good? Am I Am good?
00:09:24
Speaker
I got some really nice feedback from one of my um those that don't know i i teach um i guide and teach a conversation english to italian professionals hu and um one of which um well got two groups in one particular company one is a group of five um professionals from different areas of their business and the other one is an individual with their ceo
00:09:58
Speaker
oh and she said to me paul i just want to say to you paul what a massive difference you've made and i want to thank you for all the effort you've put in and she said i've seen such a an amazing um uh growth out of confidence in my in my colleagues Wow. Isn't this really cool? Yeah, because that sentence that she said in in English sounds sounds really good. So you've obviously taken her from hardly speaking English at all to like a sentence like that.
00:10:37
Speaker
She was already C1 level. She already speaks exceptionally good English. All right. You just polished her up a bit. polished her up a bit I'm just polishing her up a bit, yeah. So that was really nice.
00:10:52
Speaker
But the point being, I'm really bad at at taking on compliments. Right. And so we've had a conversation. We haveve haded we had an episode about this once. but um So i took a point to absorb the compliment, Martin. Good for you. Good for you.
00:11:11
Speaker
That's good. so But it was really nice. It makes a difference. you know It really does. I you know made a point of thanking her and it's really cool. she said she's got She has a couple of these colleagues that I have. She said they they they kind of like really make a big effort to make sure that they can be ah present once a week because sometimes they're busy. you know But they're really, really enthusiastic about being able to be present for my
00:11:42
Speaker
from my lessons. So it's really nice. I love that. Nice. All right. it is That's a good, isn't it? That is that is that is good. That is good. How about you, Mr. West?
00:11:53
Speaker
God, well, I mean, there's quite a lot in my good in my good world, which is, ah so i so I've started to go to the gym and I have a i have a a personal trainer.
00:12:07
Speaker
but i've No way. bunch of of sessions with. So every week I i go and meet i go and meet Dave ah d ah at the gym. talking about but intimidating environments before. Gyms can be quite intimidating.
00:12:27
Speaker
Well, that's the thing because they've got all these machines and ropey things and things and there's that whole area.
00:12:37
Speaker
I mean, i'm I am happy to go on to a running machine or and or an elliptical, those ones, but the kind of the serious end of the gym over there That's like, oh, God, no, I'm i'm not going in there. So he's teaching me, like, all the things so what so I don't feel so so kind of scared of of that part of the of the of the room.
00:13:07
Speaker
Because it is it it is intimidating. If you're not ah a man of a certain type, it can be... um intimidating and uncomfortable going into those environments because you get, you know, the basic premise of you know, weights, for example, is to have is to have the weights are quite low, but do more repeats. But no, the most blokes, they like try and try to do like,
00:13:36
Speaker
300 kilos on dumbbells you know right just to prove their masculinity and you walk in a load those situations think oh god right so um i'm i'm kind of
Seasonal Transitions and Job Frustrations
00:13:50
Speaker
uh yeah so so so that's one good thing ah the um the The, I don't know if if if anyone knows, but but every week I i do us a winter sport called curling.
00:14:05
Speaker
Yes. Which if you've seen the the i i it seen the the Olympics, it's that weird sport where you someone like slides, a it's called a stone down the ice and then two people kind of like sweep.
00:14:24
Speaker
the hello hell out of it with ah a a a brush. so um So I've been doing that for a while and the season's just about to come to an end and it's been fun.
00:14:37
Speaker
And you know what? the device Yeah, I did quite well, I think, overall. um But the but the the thing that struck me is that it's it felt like when I was when i was meeting people,
00:14:54
Speaker
in that in that in the club. It felt like this could be a very neurodivergent friendly sport because because it's quite technical in the in that it's quite like chess.
00:15:12
Speaker
Like there is a very the game.
00:15:19
Speaker
par of the of the game yeah it It is a team sport, but not very team sporty because it's mostly just about you as an individual throwing, getting your technique down and just and throwing those stones down all or sweeping.
00:15:40
Speaker
um how did you know How do you know how to how hard to push the stone? um Because... it like French bull or petonk?
00:15:52
Speaker
is it right Is it a bit like that, that the same kind of rules? I mean, you can push off up a little harder or a little softer. Push off, is that the official word? I guess.
00:16:06
Speaker
I think so. Okay. okay that And you can let go of the of this stone. if you If you let go of it earlier, it goes further. If you let go of it later, then it tends to not go as far.
00:16:20
Speaker
But, yeah, so it's it's ah it seems to be quite a oh yeah There was a bit of a polemic situation in the Olympics when, i think it was the Canadians, they were they were like not quite letting it go and they their finger was still on the stone.
00:16:39
Speaker
Yeah, I know. I know. That that was all a that was a BFD. That was a big fucking deal. um So, yeah, so the curling thing is coming to an end, but i have really enjoyed that. The the other thing, I've almost finished my my taxes, which is...
00:16:59
Speaker
So I know that I am late, but only but I'm not that late. Like I've been a lot worse late than I have been. So i've by the time i've but but by the time the next week's podcast is out, I will i will have had had that all pretty much done.
00:17:16
Speaker
um that event So that's fucking relief because um because I have buried my head in the sand about the taxes in years. previous um a long time you know not that long ago but i mean and that kind of cost me fucking big big time so so i kind of so i see it as a win if i can get the taxes out of my out of my sent off do you think of it in terms of maybe you know the the fines that you don't pay you could buy you know something nice like a house
00:17:52
Speaker
Right. You know what? It is funny because I, well, yeah. What? Jesus. um how much How much fines have I paid? Quite quite a bit. Although last year I hired a a lawyer um who managed to get me off quite a substantial chunk of my taxes due um
00:18:23
Speaker
So we hatched out a plan um and we yeah and he did some work for me and I i was forgiven um quite a lot of my fines.
00:18:38
Speaker
Nice. Here at the moment, the government, because the they're like tightening, you know, they're struggling to find money. They're really, i had I've had bills coming in.
00:18:52
Speaker
for like refuse tax from seven years ago. It's only peanuts, but you can tell because other people, it's happening to other people. They're really kind of
Interview Experiences and Listener Feedback
00:19:06
Speaker
like trying to eke out as much money as they can from the public coffers.
00:19:12
Speaker
Right. trying Trying to squeeze this out, basically. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Money, money, money, money, money. You guys in the in ah in the States, the IRS, they're hardcore, aren't they?
00:19:26
Speaker
They are effing hardcore. However, because ah Elon Musk went in and kind of pulled a lot of staff from all over the place, yeah that it I think you know like they kind of shut stuff down. i think it ended up that the IRS wasn't as... efficient it was struggling more so i think i ended up taking a ah advantage of it by kind of going hey yeah you don't you don't you know like yeah because it's it's like if if they wanted to get taxes out of me they would have had to have launched a
00:20:10
Speaker
you know, they would have they would there would have to be sort of, you know, um they would have to go down a path that involved a lot of effort because, and and and because I had lawyered up, I think they were like, oh, okay, this guy's got a lawyer. He will, you know, we just don't have time for this. that Let's just kind of, let's just, I mean, know I'm guessing, but, you know.
00:20:38
Speaker
And also, I'll say Rose, I am extremely privileged in that, in the way that that I could actually afford a lawyer to get my taxes down. Yeah, yeah. Which I know, you know. Anyway, all right. So I think that's mainly all all of my good things, ah you know, apart from my I wrote a the second short story, which was fun. Another one, what do mean?
00:21:05
Speaker
because fun And then I've got the third one is work worked out. So I just have to kind of start that one. So yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying being creative.
00:21:16
Speaker
Nice. All right. All right. So let's move on to the bad then. The bad. Well, this, this, I've got a bad motive, but I haven't actually got a kind of a rounded off conversation about it. It's more of a provocation.
00:21:32
Speaker
There's, I was watching podcast, an ADHD podcast um recently, watching, listening. And she, the the guest on it, was talking about ADHD as a disability.
00:21:48
Speaker
Yeah, right. So and then it's an awkward one, isn't it? Because if you grow up, you know, with in our generation, and they talk about it's a bit different now.
00:22:00
Speaker
You know, disability is talked about, at least in the UK, with a bit more kind of empathy. But I found myself being quite uncomfortable with ADHD as ah being talked about as a disability. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:15
Speaker
But inevitably having to, you know, with a minimum of logic, having to agree
Historical Quiz and Banter
00:22:20
Speaker
that that it it is. Yeah. I mean, like, I i mean, i I tend to see it. there's There's two ways to think about it. One is the personal experience, right? It's like, do you so do you feel like your ADHD is disability? And that kind of thing.
00:22:42
Speaker
No, well, it is a challenge and it makes life hard, but I don't think of myself as being disabled, right? um but and And there's the other way of of looking at it, which is from a from us from a DSM psychological
00:23:07
Speaker
um ah ah category or taxonomy or whatever you want to call it and you know I am looking to get medicated or I'm looking to get some sort of something then the the the then the but the medical field or the government has to in order for them to give me something, I have to say, i am, this ADHD is, is a disability and have to look at me as a disability. And then they get okay, right. Well, is, know, he, he needs meds. He needs help. He needs support or something.
00:23:52
Speaker
So you're talking to two different things, and and I don't think you can ever really separate them out at at the moment. Yes, you are disabled in the eyes of the medical world and the government and the support industries, but no, you're not disabled. I bet you wouldn't call yourself that yourself. No. Yeah, it's difficult, isn't it? It's difficult. I mean, that's what really can... I mean, I don't have a...
00:24:18
Speaker
a kind of a conclusion to this at all. you're just I thought throw this in as a provocation because it does, i don't know, I feel ah feel awkward talking about it as a disability because I feel like theres other other people have got much worse disabilities. But you can say well, this it's not a star competition, you
Preview of ADHD and Blade Runner
00:24:41
Speaker
know.
00:24:42
Speaker
There should be room for everyone, you know, one doesn't exclude the other. Right. Yeah. I think it it ah you just end up having to say that you are disabled if you want something from yeah the black government. Yeah. Like time to pay my taxes.
00:25:00
Speaker
Right. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, fine. I'm disabled. If that, you know, if me saying that or if me getting diagnosed as being disabled gives me this thing that I need, then fine. I don't like it, but...
00:25:17
Speaker
That's the system we have at the ah at the moment. yeah um But, yeah, it's, yeah. I find it really difficult to, I mean, it's visceral. It's not just like, it's not just, I say it's difficult, it's not just, it's like I have a stone in my stomach.
00:25:39
Speaker
If I have to ring up my um Italian accountant to talk about taxes or forms that I need to fill out, it's really hard, you know.
00:25:53
Speaker
I think people that don't have ADHD or not autistic, they won't understand it. They said, oh, Paul, you know, well, we all have difficulties. But it's really strong, you know. It's a very... if For years, I felt like there was there was an element of shame about it.
00:26:11
Speaker
And then I found out you had the same thing, or had or have. I have. have um ka And it's really strong. a really it's really makes me anxious So like when you're talking to your accountant and you're talking about being late or whatever, right? Yeah.
00:26:30
Speaker
Is it the the the thing that makes you anxious is you saying, i have ADHD and that is why I'm struggling here? Is that the thing that you're feeling anxious about? or I just don't want to be having the conversation.
00:26:44
Speaker
At all? At all. All right. ah blood yeah i am I am telling everyone. is i What's that?
00:26:56
Speaker
Yes, I have i've been telling a lot of people that my accountant, no, because they're not, I've just changed accountant, well, just a year and a half ago, and I'm going to change back to my previous accountant, I think.
00:27:10
Speaker
Yeah. Much nicer. They're just under really unapproachable generally, whether I'm fucking ADHD or not, just horrendous. I don't like them at all. Fuck them. So I need to change my accountant.
00:27:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, like it's so so like it's usually one of the first things i say after hello and I need this and then they'll be like, and I have ADHD, which means...
00:27:38
Speaker
I will struggle here. i will struggle. I mean, like, so I went to a a new dentist um on, are we now? On, like, Friday, right?
00:27:49
Speaker
Right. it was It was a whole new dentist um and it was new people, new new practice, new office. That was that was all like, ugh, I'm going to be kind of like... deal with all of that. And then um I'm having to have a conversation. She's like, oh, your your teeth, blah, blah, blah. And then I said, yeah, I said, right, I have ADHD and I'm possibly...
00:28:13
Speaker
auto auto autistic which means you're going to have to tell me exactly what you're going to do before you do it so that i can prepare my myself i don't like noise i don't like pain i don't like excellent excellent so so so i basically did this laundry list of of yeah of things that i that that could help her make my experience better and And it turned out really, really good.
00:28:41
Speaker
it It was a positive feeling. Well, that's funny. If I did the same thing in Italy, would look at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? yeah yeah like i can imagine there's like a hundred times more awareness in the states than north in italy they'd say adh what right you know with italian gestures you know like what the are you talking about right yeah and i would get some weird looks definitely and and and for them it'd be adhda like adhd
00:29:15
Speaker
Adyestia. Yeah. Yeah, have to have to add that extra A on the end. Yeah, yeah. They're big fan of the extra vowels. Right. And then be like, oh, Adyestia. I know. I know what you mean. ah ah Why didn't you say?
00:29:31
Speaker
yeah here's different I told people. We had a conversation about this about a year ago. I told when I was teaching at the school, at the high school, I told a couple of the teachers.
00:29:43
Speaker
But one looked at me lookeded me up and down and she said, oh, you don't look as if you've got ADHD. What does someone look like? Literally looked me up and down. What does that mean?
00:29:55
Speaker
Yeah. And they're teachers, you know. Those are teachers. Can you can imagine what it would be like going to my accountant saying I've got ADHD?
00:30:06
Speaker
All right. Yeah, no. I did. I did. I said, by the way, I said, I have ADHD, which means... i' I will probably be late. I may be unorganized. This is the kind of craziness that you can expect from me. And it was like, yeah, okay, that's that's fine. ah the My accountants are all male.
00:30:29
Speaker
And my previous accountants was female and much nicer. And i suspect, and it's going to sound controversial, but go say anyway, women are more empathetic than men.
00:30:41
Speaker
going to say it. i believe it. I don't think that that's at all controversial at all. Right. Oh, okay. All right. Fair enough. You're on safe now. Yeah.
00:30:52
Speaker
And um so there's a thing that came up the other day on this subject that women are much more likely, to three times more likely to use an exclamation mark when they're writing emails.
00:31:03
Speaker
Ooh. Right? Mm-hmm. Three times more likely. And you think, oh, is it because they're more angry? That was my first thought. Are they more angry? Right?
00:31:16
Speaker
i Okay. Okay. But no, it's empathy because they have more empathy. Women generally use the exclamation mark as a tool as as as like a tool for empathy with the writing.
00:31:30
Speaker
Right. see those I'm trying to understand you. Right. Because I know, Paul, how much you you have very mixed feelings about exclamation marks. You have a bad relationship with exclamation marks. And you generally don't like them.
00:31:45
Speaker
No. But they are good. They are. But someone uses them and says, why are you shouting at me?
00:31:56
Speaker
Anyway, so what about your bad then, Martin? All right, i' just in the interest of time, I'm i'm um just going to do one one bad, um which is which is which is I'm now in the ADHD zone in this where I'm switching from my winter stuff to my warmer spring stuff. yeah now in Now, in the winter,
00:32:26
Speaker
I wear a big coat all winter ah for like months and it's great. Same one. Same one, big coat. And it's good because because I can have my keys and my wallet in there the whole time, right? So I always know where they are because they're always in my big coat, right? So I go outside, put my big coat on, there are my keys, there's my wallet.
00:32:49
Speaker
All's good. I never lose them. it's Yeah, the pockets are my handbag, right? But now it's warm and I can't wear the big coat anymore. It means that my keys and my wallet could be anywhere.
00:33:02
Speaker
They could be anywhere now. If you live in Italy, you could have a man bag. and It's quite big in in England as well now, a man bag.
00:33:13
Speaker
Right. have you Have you thought about a man bag? occasionally i think i thought about having a a man bag in like uh yeah about 15 years ago and that was the last thought that that i had on that and uh they they they weren't a thing then but um yeah now it's a thing it least in the uk and italy and man bags are a thing Yeah, I don't think the um the ah the general American population is quite ready for it.
00:33:48
Speaker
You've got fanny bags. Yeah, but that's what tourists wear. Oh, is it just a tourist thing? Yeah, the little the little bag on your on the belt, yeah.
00:33:59
Speaker
And the thus the last thing that you want to do and I'm sure that you'll agree, is to look like a tourist. Oh, no, God, no. Yeah. That's... that's it's like It's like asking to be mugged.
00:34:13
Speaker
ah why it it It isn't even that. It's just like someone's going look at you and think that you're from somewhere else. you're like, no, I live here. I live here. Yeah.
00:34:23
Speaker
I'm a bloody tourist. Fuck off. well But people say, ah Italians say I don't look Italian. so people Italians come up to me and talk in English. That's completely strange.
00:34:34
Speaker
They just I'm not Italian. You've just got that English vibe. They say that like when english that when they wear when when English wear shorts, they look like someone stole their trousers.
00:34:46
Speaker
Which is very true. Yeah. Whereas the Italians, they have a bit more joie de vivre with the shorts. Well, I am i can can do that pretty ah pretty ah pretty American. It isn't until I open my mouth that hide that it okay the goes weird. All right. Well, I don't have any anything in my... Nothing ugly.
00:35:12
Speaker
I've got ugly. had... had some There was a job application for a creative director recently. Oh,
00:35:23
Speaker
Lovely. And ive got through. you know mean You never really know where you get through or you know whatever. But I said, oh, thank you for applying for this. Can you now please um um send us a creative proposal?
00:35:40
Speaker
Oh, what? Okay. Yeah. Fuck off? No. Fuck off? Right. But then I thought, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. Jesus Christ. Yeah.
00:35:51
Speaker
Yeah. No. And I massively regretted it. Oh, back out of those instantly, mate. Never do those. Never. But I had some time. i had time on my hands. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I you had the time.
00:36:06
Speaker
i thought, I'm going to blow them away with my... You know, that's that's my – I mean, my mojo when I do that. It's like, okay, you know, it's like don't tell me you're a comedian to show and tell me a joke.
00:36:18
Speaker
Yeah. i i' tough Okay. So the idea was it was a recruitment company, okay, a human resources company, right? Yeah. And they wanted a creative idea for a welcoming pack for their own employees. Yeah.
00:36:33
Speaker
Oh, God. So they just sent this out to a whole bunch of people just to get i ideas for their own company. ah ah ah but Yeah, and exactly. Then ah three weeks passed. They said, oh, you've got a week from when we from this message to send it to us. They gave instructions of how to send it to them.
00:37:01
Speaker
And then three weeks passed, there's no reply. Right? Yeah. So I sent them a letter. sent them an email saying, look, you know, what's going on?
00:37:16
Speaker
I'm disgusted. Bastards. And miraculously, 10 minutes later, they sent me an email. Said, I was sorry, but for the this um this time around, we won't be taking your application any further. Bastards.
00:37:29
Speaker
Bastards. But purchase just I'm just, I mean, everything in my mind screamed, no, don't do it. Everything in my mind said, don't do it. But that, it's just a sign, mate, of how desperate things have got.
00:37:46
Speaker
Right. now And it's shit out there. It's really shit. Especially if you're like 59, you know, come up to 59 old.
00:37:57
Speaker
And you're you know you' left out the scrappy, basically. Yep. And it stinks. It's really... Going back to ADHD and rejection... Was it rejection dysphoria syndrome? yeah Yeah. yeah I mean, Christ!
00:38:14
Speaker
You know? is brutal. It's crap. It's really shit. I mean, I've basically given up
00:38:25
Speaker
doing applications. for jobs. oh um one I sent one on Saturday. Yeah. But it's almost, it's pretty much a waste of time, which is horrible to, to you know, to to to get to that stage.
00:38:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. No, um' you know what? Because I haven't actually done anything for a while, I'm considering doing a the DoorDash thing, which is basically you join an app and then, you know, it's it's like someone wants you to pick up they're, they're shopping from this store or or you pick up food or you pick up whatever, right? You just go and pick it up and you just drop off. And I'm considering doing, doing that, um, and applying for that. And it's not so much for the money.
00:39:19
Speaker
It's more like but need to get out and kind of like start doing things that that that that that do make money that then I think, oh, God, I'm not getting much money for this.
00:39:31
Speaker
I should do something else so that it kind of almost propels me to find something better than than that. But i I have to get out of my fucking, you know, my my little room here and just doing something that,
00:39:48
Speaker
Well, I've got the same although the same problem, mate. It's hard out there. it's it's it's hard out there you know It feels like part doesn't want the job,
00:39:59
Speaker
you know the the marketing because For me personally, my sector is just unrecognisable from what I knew it. And i don't like it, how is's how it's how it is anymore.
00:40:13
Speaker
No one cares about the quality of work anymore. It's all about the process. you know Just get from A to B as quickly as possible you know and invoice it. Bob's your auntie. And there's a part of me that just isn't interested, have to admit.
00:40:27
Speaker
Yeah, yeah i'm I'm not interested in joining any full full-time thing. I'm just more interested in in doing small gigs that I can control myself or selling illustrations for and actually having multiple ways of making the money. Exactly, yeah.
00:40:45
Speaker
But I'm not tied to anything particularly. Yeah. I couldn't think of anything worse you know than you know working you know six days a week in a supermarket. Couldn't do it.
00:40:57
Speaker
Right. No, I don't. No, no. I i i could succeed. Oh, yeah, yeah. that I could do happily. Eight hours, six hours, eight yeah hours, six days a week?
00:41:11
Speaker
Yep. Really? I could do that happily, yeah, because um pet I used to do that when I was ah you know when i was at art college. I would i would work at the the supermarket, and I actually quite liked it. It was quite straightforward, and And quite, um and my brain liked it. It's the, I couldn't do eight hours a day in an in an advertising agency.
00:41:36
Speaker
That, that I can't do anymore. I can't do that. yeah yeah but yeah i can i can i can because i think you know this job that i applied for i think what if they said yeah paul they've got on the phone you know it's like the the the ring was it was like burning in their hands the phone fucking hell paul you're so good come on why don't you start tomorrow i think oh shit no I didn't actually want the job.
00:42:09
Speaker
ah Oh, dear. Anyway, yeah, so that's my but that was my ugly. All right, cool beans. Good, bad and ugly. i think we've kind of caught caught up somewhat.
00:42:21
Speaker
um All right, well, let's go and jump into the tractor and we'll go over to a Alexandra's haunted inn. i forget There we go.
00:42:33
Speaker
jumping Jump in, jump in.
00:42:38
Speaker
go past the market. Just wave it. Wave in there. Say hello to the people. All right.
00:42:49
Speaker
and Alexandra just left a note, picture which I think you can just... yeah I just pulled out one small part part of it. So last week we talked about restaurants, right?
00:43:03
Speaker
Yeah. and and And Alexandra is, ah you know, um she worked at ah as a chef for a very long, long time. She's trained and everything.
00:43:15
Speaker
She's a proper cook and whatnot. Trained. Oh, yeah, yeah, So she said, Paul?
00:43:26
Speaker
She said, Martin, I can confirm that all chefs are crazy and they won't deny it either. and At my first job, a a chef asked me what one quality I believe a chef must have.
00:43:41
Speaker
And I answered, to be totally bonkers. He couldn't stop laughing, saying, you're so right. That's great. They are bonkers. i like I like honesty in an interview.
00:43:54
Speaker
h if if if she If I was interviewing Alexandra, I'd say, you've got the job. Oh, you know what? You know what? that You've just reminded me what I was thinking that the next episode could could be, ADHD and interviews. but um But yeah as your source I shall sure i should save that for a another time. Yeah, okay.
00:44:18
Speaker
Only because we have quite a lot of funny, stupid interview stories. See, that's what I was saying. Yeah, probably too, yeah. And so anyway, so um in general, but your feedback, it'd be great to have your feedback. Anyone who's listening, has got anything they want to say, good, bad or in between, it'd be great to hear from you.
00:44:40
Speaker
And we've got a couple of comments here, actually. Right. One is from your from your brother, Martin. Yeah, yeah. So last week we was the Easter. we we we we We talked about how many Easter eggs we we had. And I kind of felt like we had, like, I don't know, five, six Easter eggs every year. now And i was like I was like, yeah, did them – um Was that true? And then my my brother said, yeah, we got quite a few chocolate eggs, but mum forgot some, so we found them a few weeks later and ate ate them.
00:45:20
Speaker
so So not only did did we get quite a few, but but there was even more. There was even more eggs. And you only had one. and another nothing think we had we had one.
00:45:33
Speaker
and i I had quite quite a lot. And ah he also goes gawwaz goes on to of to correct us and say that that he worked at Mars, not Cadbury's. And yes, I went to the factory and fresh Mars bars. Okay.
00:45:50
Speaker
Just come to mind, actually, I remember when at Easter, when I was a kid, The adults used to get the the dark chocolate and Easter eggs.
00:46:02
Speaker
And I always, always much preferred dark chocolate Easter eggs. Always. Did you? Yeah, I did. I did. Yeah. All right. Good for but know. I'm not a dark chocolate fan, to be honest.
00:46:15
Speaker
um I am so uncivilized. um Anyway, ah and i forgot this this thing. So a while ago...
00:46:27
Speaker
Yeah, this is a while back, isn't it? This this this is a while back. So we were talking about Seth, who's our um the ADHDville head of head head stuff. um And we were talking about the the fact that he doesn't like mushrooms.
00:46:43
Speaker
empty And for some reason you said, ah can't remember how he got to it, that that that that that perhaps he didn't like mushrooms because he couldn't afford them.
00:47:00
Speaker
I said that i started enjoying mush I started to enjoy mushrooms pretty much from the time that I was paying for my own food. All right. Yeah. So my question it was to say, is he buying his own food or as is is his mum and dad still buying it for him?
00:47:18
Speaker
That's right. That's right He hasn't quite appreciated things like bus rooms yet. So he texted me a while ago, and I just keep forgetting to bring this up.
00:47:29
Speaker
But he said me, please tell Paul that that I know that I'm an adult. I can afford mushrooms. I still don't like them, but I really wish I did so I can enjoy the mushroom coffee coffee craze.
00:47:46
Speaker
Never heard of that. Mushroom coffee. Yeah, yeah, So i've I've had quite a few mushroom coffees. um I will say, Seth, that they don't taste like, doesn't taste like mushrooms. There's there's nothing mushroomy about atola That craze hasn't arrived in Europe yet.
00:48:10
Speaker
All right. it's it's ah I think if you can't take a caffeine, it is a very good alternative. i mean, it doesn't taste as good as coffee, but don't know. It's something.
00:48:24
Speaker
All right. All right. All right. and All right, well, ah all alright well that's that that's the end of that. Now, we we do have a quiz, which which I think that we can squeeze in.
00:48:38
Speaker
Come on, let's squeeze it. All right, here we go Let's hit the hit the quiz me music.
00:48:47
Speaker
It's the quiz. It's the bloody quiz. All right. I can't find my... Oh, I have the quiz, but I i can't find the the piece of paper that has the up-to-date... Oh, here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Here's the scores on on on the doors. Currently, ah in this ah session two, this quiz number two, you are one point up.
00:49:12
Speaker
Yes. You are... You are in the leading position. So let's see if you can if you can carry on there and and pull ah pull ahead. put Put some distance between you and me.
00:49:27
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right, so this is a ah ah two two lies no two truths and a lie, and I will tell you two things that are true and one, and you have to spot the one that I made up. All right, here we go. Question number one. Eyes down for a full house. So the theme of this, ah i i couldn't really think of a theme. So i just went with I just went with funerals because I was just chatting to the guys to to to Alexander earlier about funerals. I thought, hey, you know what?
00:50:07
Speaker
You know what? It's it's it's it's Easter. Just to cheer me up. it Well, you know, like it's it's like, yeah, it's like sort of resurrection. We're going into the spring.
00:50:18
Speaker
Yeah, let's just let's just kind of like do a do a funeral one. All right, so here we go. Question number one. This is all history. This is right is because I know you that you like history. I like history, so we're keeping it his historical.
00:50:33
Speaker
Question number one. A. William the Conqueror's body reportedly exploded during his funeral. Okay.
00:50:45
Speaker
Number two. Horatio Nelson's body was preserved in a barrel of alcohol for the journey home after he died at the Battle of Trafalgar.
00:50:58
Speaker
Okay. Or C, Isaac Newton insisted his funeral include a demonstration of gravity by just letting his coffin fall and into the hole. Oh, come on.
00:51:15
Speaker
So... There's someone likely. So did William the Conqueror's body explode? Did Horatio Nelson get preserved in alcohol? Or did Isaac Newton do a coughing... I'm sure the false one is is Newton.
00:51:32
Speaker
And you'd be right. Okay. Phew! There we go. Question number two. um Alexander the the Great allegedly requested his hands be left outside his coffin to show he left the world empty handed. OK, that sounds very likely.
00:51:59
Speaker
that Number two, Queen Victoria was buried with sentimental items from her late husband. That's true. ah al Alfred, including a dressing gown and a plaster cast of his hand.
00:52:17
Speaker
That's true. All right. Number three. think he some of his hair as well.
00:52:26
Speaker
Oh, right. Yeah, probably. Probably. and C. Sigmund Freud requested his funeral guests analyse each other's dreams as part of the ceremony. Oh,
00:52:42
Speaker
no, that's false. Freud is false. You'd be right. Okay. so So the last and final question.
00:52:56
Speaker
Rasputin, Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen, was was buried, then later dug up and burned by revolutionaries who feared his influence even after death.
00:53:11
Speaker
That's true, I think. charlie chener Number two, Charlie Chaplin's body was stolen from his grave and held for ransom. That's all true as well, I think. Before being ri rick recovered.
00:53:26
Speaker
Or number C, leonardo de li Leonardo da Vinci designed his own elaborate coffin that included a wine dispenser. Okay, have you made the the catastrophic Thompson error of making all the false ones that the the um the third choice?
00:53:49
Speaker
I may have done or I may not have done. I'm going to say Leonardo da Vinci is false. And you'd be right. Come on.
00:53:59
Speaker
So there go you It did help, though, to be fair. It did help that I knew couple of the answers. Well, you I thought, i thought you you you you you you know what, let's just include stuff that I think that you may that that you may know. Okay.
00:54:22
Speaker
So it was kind of like... you know I thought that you might not. i I knew William like the Conqueror's body exploded. I and i knew about and Horatio Nelson. I didn't know about ali about Alexander the Great leaving his hands.
00:54:38
Speaker
and So that was neat. But everything else I kind of knew. So I kind of thought, well, you know what? If I knew it, as a there's a fair to middle-aged chance. All right.
00:54:49
Speaker
Awesome. So you are now two ahead, two too nil, and it'll be your turn to do the quiz next week, I guess. Okay. um So speaking of next week, what is next week's episode going to be about, Paul?
00:55:05
Speaker
Tell us. Next week is ADHD and Blade Runner. So maybe some of you out there, you know, you've maybe not seen Blade Runner or at least the second one.
00:55:17
Speaker
Go watch it. go Go watch it in the meantime, because there's a reason, because there's a lot of it could be relatable with ADHD and autism.
00:55:29
Speaker
So we're going to be kind of like doing a deep dive for a little bit on that. Right, cause it's yeah because it's one of our favourite films. So we are we are being a little bit self-indulgent.
00:55:42
Speaker
um but and But there is actually some... some many But oh yeah know I kind of felt like, well, you know ah neurodivergent people do tend to like Blade blade Runner.
00:55:56
Speaker
They do tend to like sci-fi. People are not quite human... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got these and these androids that struggle with emotions, you know. So, yeah, yeah. There's some interesting stuff that we can talk about.
00:56:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. We like crying in the rain. Yeah. Whilst throttling a dove. Yes. and we And we all like Daryl Hannah.
00:56:28
Speaker
Oh, yes. Or, yes, Pris. Or Rachel, who I can't remember her name. Sean Young. Sean Young. Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:39
Speaker
yeah um Kind of. All right. Well, that that' that'll be ah us us next week. A bit self-indulgent, but, you know, if itll ah we'll try and we're try not to be too, um you know, exclusive,
00:56:55
Speaker
you know right or you know, in our reflections. Yeah, yeah. But then again, it it is a bloody podcast. Yes, right.
00:57:06
Speaker
That's a good point. Well put.
00:57:10
Speaker
Oh, dear. Okay. So that just means that for me to say that ADHD Will is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts.
00:57:21
Speaker
Please subscribe to the pod and rate us, good, bad, or ugly. And feel free to correspond at Will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to sell beautiful, beautiful faces. then say forth to the youtubes and the tiktoks and you can also pick up a quill and email us at at a hdville at gmail.com but in the meantime be fucking kind to yourself and i
00:57:55
Speaker
he never yeah says the man that's that Yeah, there we go. then That is that. Oh, that's nice. What's coming up?
00:58:05
Speaker
Almost bang on the hour. It's pretty good going. I know. We've scraped in under the under the bar. And just like Indiana Jones, we've just kind of like grabbed our hat and just pulled it in.
00:58:18
Speaker
At the last second. Is that an Indiana Jones thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just-in-time kind of thing. Yeah, where he kind of... but The door's about to shut and he just reaches in and goes like that. All right, gotcha. Rightio.
00:58:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. and we Where are we? Here we here we go. What?
00:58:42
Speaker
what