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Home Birth After C-Section | EFT/Tapping for Kids | Raising Kids Well While Dealing with Serious Health Challenges w/ Sarah
74 Plays8 months ago
My client Sarah joins us to talk about dealing with her health challenges while raising kids, giving birth at home after a forced C-section for her first child, and other topics. An interesting discussion I am sure you will get value from!
Children's health consulting (autism, ADHD, gut dysfunction etc.): https://christianyordanov.com/childrens-health-consulting/
Get my book Autism Wellbeing Plan: How to Get Your Child Healthy: https://amzn.to/43ah6yD
My new book, How to Actually Live Longer, Vol.1: https://amzn.to/3OnZJGl
Christian Yordanov is a health author and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition practitioner. He has worked with clients with severe gastrointestinal ailments, toxicity, and debilitating chronic fatigue. He has helped people with autoimmune and neurological conditions, skin disorders, hypothyroidism, insomnia, depression, autism, obesity, and other metabolic problems.
His latest book, How to Actually Live Longer, Vol. 1, is the first in his series on slowing the ageing process and increasing longevity. He is also author of the book Autism Wellbeing Plan: How to Get Your Child Healthy — a comprehensive resource for parents to understand the most common health problems from which autistic children suffer, and how to address them.
In his clinical work, Christian uses functional lab testing to identify hidden metabolic and health imbalances, and teaches clients how to use diet, supplementation, detoxification, stress reduction, sleep optimisation, and other strategies to address their chronic health issues and transform their lives for the better.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey, welcome back to the podcast.
Introduction to Sarah's Journey
00:00:04
Speaker
Today I have one of my clients is joining us as a guest, Sarah. We're going to talk about parenting, her health journey and all things around that. So Sarah, welcome to the show. Hello. How are you doing today? I'm doing pretty good.
00:00:24
Speaker
So this is gonna be a little bit different from our regular conversations, I guess. I guess a bit more, we can just shoot the shit as they say. And let's start with a little bit about your background, your health journey. Where do you wanna kind of start there? My background in regard to the health journey? Yeah, I mean, like just for the folks listening so they can put a kind of who you are a little bit.
Health Challenges and Amalgam Fillings
00:00:54
Speaker
Alright, so my health journey began in my, I would say, late 20s. I'm not gonna, I'll just give the gist of it. I have talked a lot about this being a client of his and just working with me through this health journey. But it really all began when I had a few amalgam silver fillings taken out and kind of put me on the downhill for quite some time.
00:01:22
Speaker
And then piecing everything together, realizing that that had caused some issues. I went down the rabbit hole of trying to detox some heavy metals out of my system. And not knowing a whole lot about that got myself into trouble, which put me on a further downward slope. And from there, I've been digging myself out of the barrels of the pit. So it's been about 11 years.
00:01:51
Speaker
I was about 27 or 28 when that began. And I'm just now, I feel like I'm on the upswing. Yeah. And, um, I think you had both your kids after the, the amalgams were taken out. Yes. Yes. A number of years. So 28, I had my first son when I was 34, I had just turned 34. Yeah. So it was quite a while after that. Yeah.
00:02:20
Speaker
And I went on a big nutrition kick and I really took care of myself. I was very active, but just dealt with like a number of different issues. And yeah, I mean, I definitely took a downturn after my first son. And I think a lot of that was just due to stress and some postpartum issues that I had. Yeah. So, um, you, I think you, you said to me those six that they took out six amalgams, right?
00:02:47
Speaker
I believe I had four taken out. Before that, did you have any health problems to speak of and what happened afterwards? Was it a quick deterioration in your health or did it take months? I don't think we ever really dug super deep on all those little details. Yeah, no, it was pretty quick.
00:03:15
Speaker
So I would have one amalgam taken out and then we would wait. We waited about a month to a month and a half and we take another one out and then we wait about a month to a month and a half. And in a total we took four out. And it was shortly after that, I decided to take a break because I felt like I should research it more and make sure we were going about it the right way. And I knew the dangers of it too.
00:03:43
Speaker
So I did, I actually interviewed and talked to quite a few dentists, but at that time it was so difficult to find an actual biological dentist.
Mercury Poisoning and Lifestyle Impact
00:03:52
Speaker
So I just had to go off the basis of this dentist knows what they're talking about and they're taking the right precautions. And I just moved forward with this one dentist and she removed four. And it was a few months after that. I just, so I was, I was working at an architecture firm at the time and
00:04:13
Speaker
I just remember sitting there and I would start having heart palpitations and it was almost like I was going to black out. And I thought, Oh my God, like, this is so embarrassing. I mean, I would be in the middle of a meeting with a client or we'd be having a team meeting and I would feel like I was going to pass out. So, and almost like a,
00:04:38
Speaker
not just passing out, not getting dizzy, but literally blacking out. And I thought, well, am I having a blood sugar crash or something? Because I'm kind of hungry and it's around lunchtime. And so I kind of fiddled around with different eating habits to see if that's what was causing it. And then when I talked to my sister about it, because she's kind of a health nut, she said, it honestly sounds like you have mercury poisoning. And
00:05:08
Speaker
We kind of researched that together. And that's when we both went on the path of just trying to detox metals and research what we could. But I feel like we got half the story right with the foods and what we should do. But I really got myself into trouble hitting too hard on the detox, but not actually expelling things.
00:05:36
Speaker
So I kind of stirred the pot a little bit there. But yeah, I mean, to answer your question, I went downhill pretty quick. And so I was about 2028 when that happened. And then I actually moved out of state for a different job shortly after that. And that's, you know, but I was really active. I mean, I worked out every day. I jogged probably four or five miles several times a week.
00:06:04
Speaker
I was doing like HIIT, high intensity interval training. I lifted weights every morning. I was pretty active. So to have something like that happen, that was just out of the ordinary. Just a question because
00:06:21
Speaker
Some years ago, I was into a lot of hair testing and hair, hair, mineral balancing. And, um, one of the guys would talk a lot about, um, the anthropomorphic qualities of metals or minerals and, um, mercury, cause I had four amalgams myself for three decades and, um, mercury has the quality of, you know, back in,
00:06:49
Speaker
back in like the 1800s, the guys that would make the hats, the felt hats. Oh, yeah. Mad hatters. Yeah. And like an Alice, mad as a hatter, like an Alice in the Wonderland. So the quality that Mercury gives to the personality was apparently the kind of very kooky sort of kind of explosive, almost just bizarre.
00:07:15
Speaker
Did you ever get that like in terms of your, did you ever consider yourself having any of those qualities? Not really. No. Because I definitely did. That's why I'm kind of wondering. Yeah. I mean, I've never really given myself that evaluation, but, uh, you know, I mean, I'll be honest ever, ever since learning about mercury and
00:07:42
Speaker
looking back in retrospect on that whole timeframe and then still having a number of amalgams, you know, there are definitely some things that I battle, you know, anxiety being one of them. But is that because the amalgam is removed? I don't know. Yeah. Is that because I'm a parent and it's stressful? I don't know. I think it's, it's a leveled
00:08:06
Speaker
a leveled interaction there with different things. Absolutely. I don't think those things are helpful for sure. I wouldn't say it could be personality. So just me, I'm just a weirdo then. I think the parenting, the parenting, the having kids, the being a mom, it takes a lot out of the mom much more than the dad because obviously you're creating a person and then you're creating food from the person in your body, which is a miracle of nature.
00:08:35
Speaker
In
Pregnancy and Health Choices
00:08:36
Speaker
terms of your pregnancies and the kind of the childbearing stuff, would you say that was overall normal? How did your health issues sort of change or your symptoms change during those times? Well, now I've had a very healthy pregnancy both times. My first...
00:09:02
Speaker
backing up a little bit, when I was living out of state, I ended up just trying to go on a whole, like a whole food plant based diet to see if that would really help. And I cut out processed foods completely for, I mean, a very long time. And it was much easier to do because I was living in a city. So health, healthy food was more accessible. It's much easier here in the cities. Despite all of their downfalls, you do have access to a lot of
00:09:32
Speaker
good food that you can't find otherwise so and we lived really close to one of the regional farmers markets, so I Did I did a lot of just nutritional stuff and by the time we moved back home we were You know preparing to have our first child and I got pregnant and I was a total health nut I mean I wasn't drinking coffee. I had no processed foods and
00:09:59
Speaker
Everything was a whole food. It was a fruit or vegetable. I made everything from scratch. I mean, I was a total health nut and my pregnancy couldn't have been any healthier. Um, never any issues. I didn't gain a lot of weight. It was normal. Um, baby was really healthy. I think the only issue that I had was low iron, but I feel like after working with you, we've discovered that too. It's just maybe that's how my body is.
00:10:27
Speaker
So no, I didn't have anything out of the ordinary. That's great. Yeah, I think honestly, I think the, the iron, we want it to probably be as low as possible without it being too low anyway. I think that's a really, it's a good thing for longevity because it, especially if you eat a lot of
00:10:50
Speaker
polyunsaturated fats, if you have a lot of them in your tissues and obviously there will be some that will constantly be released through like policies in the bloodstream. So if you have a lot of iron in the bloodstream, it will react and it can react to the tissues. And that's where, you know, we get aging, age spots, aging skin, aging organs and stuff like that. They say, actually,
00:11:16
Speaker
If you have lipophascin, which is kind of the compound that iron and polyunsaturated fat create, if you have that on your skin, they say you have that in your organs. So I think it's a mixed curse or a mixed blessing having low iron, I think. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:39
Speaker
So for the folks listening, cause there's a lot of, obviously a lot of parents, this will be on the children's health podcast.
Parenting Amidst Health Struggles
00:11:48
Speaker
I I've had some parents that I've spoken to with quite a lot of health issues whilst raising kids themselves. Can you tell us what, cause you work from home. Maybe that makes things easier. Maybe it makes things challenging in other ways. What has it been like?
00:12:07
Speaker
you know, dealing with your own health troubles while trying to provide really good lives, good diets, good surroundings for your kids. Oh yeah. That's always tough because now that they're getting a little bit older, I mean, even my two year old, all they want to eat is sugar, man. All they want is that sweet stuff. Yeah.
00:12:28
Speaker
So how I compromise is, you know, I probably use a little bit too much honey on food, or I might use a little bit, and I say using it often, not too much in one sitting, but, you know, my two-year-old, I can't get him to eat, and you know this, I struggle with this, getting him to eat vegetables, some fruits, you know, I offer them fresh fruits and vegetables first.
00:12:57
Speaker
First and foremost, and the bribing point is if you want this sweet thing, you're going to eat all of that first. And then I just limit the junk. I mean, and when I say junk, it's like fruit snacks that are made from fruit and pectin. That's my style of junk food. It's not, it's not the typical stuff that you're going to find on the shelf in the grocery store. And some of my junk food I make myself, there's like a chocolate,
00:13:26
Speaker
almond ball that I make for the kids that's made out of four ingredients. It's dates, honey, or maple syrup, almond flour to keep it gluten free, and chocolate chips. That's it. You just blend it up, roll them up in balls, and my kids think it's gold. That's how I compromise. I just try to make the food fun.
00:13:48
Speaker
I probably think about them more than I think about myself. So how do I keep them healthy? So they don't fall into the trap that I've had to dig myself out of. You know, when it comes to me, I just, I just do the best I can. Working from home, that's been a huge change for me. I started doing that right about two years ago. I'm coming up on two years that I went independent as a designer.
00:14:17
Speaker
Before that, I had worked at an architecture firm, a huge commercial manufacturer, like furniture manufacturer for architecture firms. And then when I moved back home, I worked for a high-end residential builder. So I was a project manager in all of those situations, very highly demanding. And man, when I became a mom, your priorities change big time. So.
00:14:46
Speaker
It was a really big tug of war for me to decide that I was going to step back from my achievements and stop earning accolades. I had a lot of design awards for what I did and just different design licensures and tests that I had done to become more marketable.
00:15:14
Speaker
I really had to take a step back from that and say like, what is important? Is it my health or is it the status quo? Is it making more money or is it raising healthy kids? And you know, it's funny, like I'm listening to this great conversation about this today before I was talking with you. And as a mom, you can have it all, but not at the same time. And that's something that I've had to accept.
00:15:43
Speaker
I used to think, well, I can, I can stay in my profession. It'll be fine. I can continue with my career. I'm excelling. I'm going to become a senior designer. I can run my own people, my own team, and I can be with my kids. But the truth of the matter is, is that kids meet their moms and to develop healthy ways of dealing with things and raising healthy kids. That's not true. So, you know, I think it's.
00:16:11
Speaker
It's it's hard. It really is hard. Yeah, I think it's Yeah, we're at the stage now with my wife where we're supposed to be applying for crashes, but it's such a
00:16:28
Speaker
There's waiting lists and there's people in the Facebook groups that are, they haven't even come to the south of Portugal and they're already asking about schools and crashes. So highly competitive and you have to jump through all these hoops and give all these forms and, you know, basically like pays, libs, bank states, you know, just putting you through the wringer as if you're getting a freaking mortgage or something like that, you know? So my wife is all,
00:16:58
Speaker
all bent out of shape about it, to be honest with you. I'm just hoping that
00:17:03
Speaker
We don't get her into a crush because I don't want her. She's too young. She's not even three years old. I don't want her to be away from us. And I know it's hard for her to get a routine
Balancing Career and Family
00:17:19
Speaker
going. It's hard for me to actually get a full day's work. But I don't know. I think we're doing it backwards. Like you said, they need their parents. The kids need their parents.
00:17:34
Speaker
It's a really hard thing for me to accept, you know, and even in the beginning with my first son, I mean, I recognized it right off the bat, but we were just not in a position financially where I could step back from my job. I just couldn't. And I wasn't able to until two years ago. So he was about three years old.
00:18:00
Speaker
And I mean, it just, it killed me. I would drop him. And we did a small and homesitter. I never, he never went to daycare. So it was just, it's this woman and her family who run a community outreach. And she used to work at a daycare and she decided this is, I don't want to do this. So she just watched a handful of kids out of her home. And you know, I got to know her. I found her through a website that we have here. I don't know if it's global or not, but care.com.
00:18:30
Speaker
And I found her through that. And it just so happens that she's 10 minutes down the road from me. So I was able just to do a small in home care for him. And it was perfect. But yeah, I mean, they're still, man, babies just need their moms, especially. Yeah. You know, first and foremost, that first year is just, man, they need you. Like, I
00:18:58
Speaker
You know, and, and when I would drop him off, I mean, he would just be so upset. And yeah. And I see now, now this is kind of weird to say, but you know, after all the things that I've learned and listened to, and I look at him now, he has some regulation issues because he got pulled away from me at such a young age and he was gone for me. I mean, I would work nine, 10 hour days and then I'd come and pick him up. So.
00:19:24
Speaker
Yeah, it was really trying. What kind of regulation issues do you mean? Like emotional regulation. He has a really, he's very sensitive, so he gets upset really easy. Like he has a hard time dealing with stressful situations. You know, he's, I would say a lot of people would call him like a mama's boy. Like he's very attached to me and he's really afraid of
00:19:50
Speaker
it seems like he's really afraid of losing me all the time. So he doesn't have like ADHD. He's not hyper. It's nothing like that. It's just, you know, now that he's five, I'm able to kind of reason with him and help him through some of these hard times. But it's like the emotional regulation that he didn't get as a baby because I wasn't there with him. Now I have to step in and like,
00:20:18
Speaker
really help him work through that. So yeah, there's something to be said about those for the first few years. The more time you can spend with your kids, the better. Yeah, absolutely. I know when we were kind of researching all this stuff when my wife was pregnant, it was something like the first three years are so critical. Yeah.
00:20:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I remember last year, about this time, my wife's dad passed away. So she hadn't spent more than three, four hours away from our daughter. And she then went to the funeral. So she was away for six days. And so our daughter was about a year and a half, right? She didn't notice.
00:21:12
Speaker
She didn't say mama one time, right? During these six days, I was just distracting her. We had the nanny and almost every day. So we kind of, because if she had remembered about mama specifically, it would have been screaming and crying. And I, I remember.
00:21:29
Speaker
She came into the, she walked into the, our bedroom and she saw one of her slippers and she took the slipper in her hand and then she started making the association. So I pulled it out of her hand and I was like, so, but what my nanny told me, so she was sleeping like her naps very deeply. Like you couldn't wake her up. She was sleeping very deeply until like 10 a.m. And I let her sleep because you know,
00:21:57
Speaker
It's hard to deal with a kid on your own all day long. But so our nanny, she really gets it. She says it's probably her way of dealing with the stress without being with Mama. It's just kind of like hibernating. Yeah. Well, I guess that's better than some of the alternatives.
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah, kids are very interesting. I think maybe we need to research it a bit. Maybe he is at that age where you may be able to teach him emotional freedom technique, right? The tapping. Yeah, I have and he loves it. Oh, you have? Wow. Yes, I do that with him actually.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, like when he starts getting really been out of shape and you know, sometimes it could be because he's hungry or because he's really tired. But sometimes he's just being sensitive and I can see him growing out of it because especially in the last six months, I've kind of rearranged my life and my work schedule so that I'm only working two and a half days.
00:23:05
Speaker
per week, like three days. And so he gets a lot more time at home and I'm able to really help teach him how to regulate. But on those times when he gets really just like inconsolable, I say, Hey buddy, you want to do the tapping? And I showed it to him the first time and he, he'll kind of calm down and he's like, yeah, so I've kind of, he doesn't do it on his own. He always has me do it, but he loves it. And it really helps get him through it and it'll break his cycle.
00:23:35
Speaker
of, you know, freaking out and he can, I start doing positive affirmations with him and then he calms down and he gets out of it and then he's fine. So yeah, the EFT is awesome. Yeah. Run us through how, how did you, at what age did you do it and what resources and did you use just run us through all that because I'm, I'm really looking forward to kind of implementing this myself. Yeah. I think I tried it for the first time.
00:24:06
Speaker
maybe about nine months ago, could have been a little bit more. Because you and I have been working together for almost a year on health. And I learned it, well, so I had heard about it before my sister told me about it and told me to look into it. And I never did, because I was busy. So I just put it on the back burner.
00:24:27
Speaker
But then when I went through your whole health module, it talks about the EFT in there, the tapping. And so I watched the videos on that and I would practice it on my own. And when I would catch myself getting hung up in this like negative cycle, I would, I would start doing that. And, um, Gosh, when did I do that for him? I think he was, I can't remember when, but I know it was a number of months ago and he got really upset and
00:24:57
Speaker
And he would start saying really like, I'm a bad kid and, you know, this and that. And I'm like, buddy, you're not a bad kid. You know, and I would have to kind of help him through that. And it's just, it's almost like when, when he gets not really scolded, but corrected, he like would turn inward and turn it around backwards on himself. Like I'm a bad kid. This is terrible. Nothing is good. And I'm like, well, that's not true. You know, so let's do the tapping and.
00:25:26
Speaker
So I would start do the tapping and really just helping him focus on, you know, this is my name, my name is such and such, and I'm a good kid, and I didn't do anything wrong.
00:25:40
Speaker
You know, we'd go through a cycle of the EFT and then come back around and then I would say a different positive affirmation. So just to make sure, so you don't do the set up statement like an adult would with the karate chopping point, right? No, I didn't do that actually. So do you, do you just, so just to kind of, how would you, just for my, just to see how I would implement it. If the child is very upset, would you just start tapping on the points?
00:26:09
Speaker
I did, yeah. Without doing it, without any verbal sort of instructions. Right. Because like when they're so young and they're just in that intense emotion, there's a storm, you know, inside of them, it's a storm. Yeah. So they can't take, they can't even comprehend a verbal, Hey, here's what we're going to do. It was like, okay, well, if I just start tapping, it just breaks them out of that. Hey, what are you doing?
00:26:40
Speaker
What are you doing? I'm trying to scream at you. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Sarah, just for the listeners, folks. I know I've spoken about it before, but it was a while ago. EFT is emotional freedom technique, also known as tapping. That's where you basically tap on seven or so acupressure points on the body, on the eyebrow,
00:27:04
Speaker
inside of the eye, near the tempo, under the eye, under the nose, sort of between the lip and the chin, the collarbone, and then under the armpit. And that kind of sends a signal of safety to the body. And then you kind of do a little bit of setup in terms of
00:27:24
Speaker
framing bringing up the negative emotion or the anger or whatever, and then that kind of disassociates the sort of the charged feeling from the thought or the emotion or the event. And that helps you basically recall it without triggering the emotional sort of baggage that used to be carried with it. Sorry about that, Sarah, just wanted to, because people would be like, what the hell are they talking about?
00:27:50
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it definitely sounds foreign if you haven't done it or haven't watched somebody do it before. Yeah. But yeah, I just I would just went straight into the the you say acupressure points like meridians, whatever you want to call them. Yeah. And he would he would immediately just snap out of his tantrum and say, what are we doing? But then he would start to listen to me. And and so that first I'll call it a cycle where you're going through those points.
00:28:19
Speaker
and tapping that first cycle, like you said, it's just bringing that negative emotion up, explaining to him what he's feeling and that it's okay. And then the second and the third or however many times it takes, I would introduce a positive affirmation of it's okay to be angry, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad kid. And I try to keep it really simple because they're so young
00:28:48
Speaker
And I find the older you get, the more complex your statements can get. So I've been doing that for him for at least nine months and we don't have to do it very often. But when I can tell that he's just, man, he just cannot handle the emotional regulation. That's when I step in with that. So yeah, it's really helpful. Yes. So I'm, I'm glad we had this conversation because
00:29:13
Speaker
I've been putting off researching it because there's always a million things going on. So to be perfectly honest, my daughter is pretty calm. I really honestly believe a lot. Yes, it can be trauma and stress related, but I think also
00:29:35
Speaker
A lot of it can be nutritional, so I believe on that side of things, we've been doing things well. But I'm not to say that the terrible tools haven't been crazy at times, but it's nice to know what works for you.
00:29:58
Speaker
It's such an amazing tool. I think if for anyone that doesn't know, hasn't tried it, you really have to just try it, bring up something really upsetting and then try it and see what it can do because it's been studied for PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder and depression and even pain can be ameliorated with this technique. So it's really awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
00:30:26
Speaker
Now, we actually skipped over the home birth side of things. Did you do two home births? No, no. My first is pretty dramatic. Oh, yes. Do you think that could be part of sort of his, I don't want to say neediness, but you know, this kind of emotional regulation. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:53
Speaker
I, you know, I didn't know a whole lot about all of that when, well, I, I shouldn't say I didn't know a whole lot about it. There's, there's a home birth. We're not necessarily home birth, but there's a midwife that's really well known in that community or sector named Ina May. And, Oh yes. I have her book, one of her books.
00:31:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And fortunately, or unfortunately, I read that during my first pregnancy. And so I had this whole idea in my mind of how beautiful things could be.
Birth Experiences and Hospital Trauma
00:31:29
Speaker
But when you're in the hospital, it's not like that. And so I already had my concerns or reservations about doing it in the hospital.
00:31:40
Speaker
But I was not, I did find a home birth midwife, but unless you get started early, it's really hard to get in with, with a good midwife here. And most of the midwives still, they still deliver in the hospitals. So yeah, it was just really interesting. I mean, my goal was to do a home birth, even though I was terrified, didn't know what labor was going to be like.
00:32:08
Speaker
But I said, you know, I really don't want to do it in the hospital. But that's what I ended up doing the first time. That's just how it played out. And yeah, it just it really didn't go well. It did not go well. I was not treated well. I was treated very poorly in the hospital. The thing I really don't appreciate about medical is that you're not allowed to eat.
00:32:35
Speaker
and you are not allowed to drink anything, no whole labor. And that blows my mind because it's the most taxing thing on your body is when you're in labor. You actually burned 7,000 calories just being in labor. Are you serious? Yeah, it's no joke. It's intense. So I've done a ton of research on midwifery and whatever. So the first one did not go well. I ended up with
00:33:04
Speaker
a forced, not an emergency C-section. It was just a forced C-section. And they said, you know, you've been in labor too long. Literally, that's what I was told. Yeah. What's too long? Too long is after you hit 24 hours in labor at the hospital, they will start talking about a C-section. You are not allowed to be there for longer than like much longer than that.
00:33:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's really crazy how labor and delivery is treated here. So you were in labor 24 hours. I was actually a laborer. Hold on a second. Okay. I'm going to help you and get you something. Just a minute. Yeah, it's interesting. I was even told that when I, when I toured the hospitals, because we checked out quite a few.
00:33:56
Speaker
I was told that they said once you check in, the 24 hour mark starts. So, you know, just know that it's a very, very likely and most first pregnancies take significantly longer than subsequent labors, I should say subsequent labors. So your first one, because your body hasn't been through that process, it just takes longer. So I labored at home for
00:34:26
Speaker
Oh, I think it was about eight hours. And then I started progressing and it got more intense. And then of course we had a horrible snowstorm and we actually ended up getting like a foot and a half of snow that night. So 12 to 14 inches or something. Wow. So when that hit, I said, well, we should probably go because, you know, I wasn't ready to go.
00:34:50
Speaker
I probably could have labored at home longer, but being a first time mom and the first labor, I didn't really know what to expect. So we did leave and once we checked in, you know, and the other thing I didn't appreciate is that they immediately started giving me Pitocin and didn't even tell me about it. And Pitocin is something that it speeds up labor. It causes your body and
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah, Pitocin, it actually has a lot more complications than what they tell you. But they by default, they do this to every woman, they will immediately put you on Pitocin once you enter the hospital. And they say it's safe and it's not.
00:35:39
Speaker
I asked her, I said, Oh, what do you what are you putting in my IV line? And she said Potosyn and I said, Oh, nobody told me, nobody even asked me if that was okay. You know, so it was just, it really wasn't a good experience. I find, you know, in retrospect, if I knew then what I know now, I would take every precaution necessary. If I had to go to the hospital, I would have my affidavits up front, I would be telling them
00:36:05
Speaker
what's okay and what's not okay. I would not sign any consent forms, like do the bare minimum to get what you need done and get out. So, yeah. Sorry to jump in there. When I was at Anarchopulco there last month, Andy, you know Andy Kaufman?
00:36:28
Speaker
Yeah. So he did a very interesting talk and he was saying, if you ever have to take a family member or yourself, you have to go to the emergency room or something, they're going to give you these indemnification forms and everything. And they are basically
00:36:45
Speaker
you were signing away a lot of your rights and things like that. And he said, so a few tips for the listeners as well, if there's any anarchists out there. He said, you can, if you don't like certain terms, conditions in the forms, you just cross them out. And then if there's any like costs, like unlimited costs that you will bear, you can cross that out and write,
00:37:12
Speaker
I agreed to pay up, up to an amount, up to a hundred dollars. And then you sign that, give the force back to the person and they're just going to like shuffle them away, put them somewhere, you know, and sign them and you know, whatever. And if ever that goes to court, you kind of, you do have a leg to stand on. Yeah, you do. So yeah, our system here is real strange. Um, you definitely got to watch out for yourself. So for anybody pregnant out there who is in the U S and I know this happens in Europe too,
00:37:42
Speaker
not to scare you all, but, you know, cause it's enough. It's enough just thinking about being healthy and growing a baby and labor in and of itself is just, I mean, it's a really amazing experience, but I feel that the medical system really steals that away from women. And it's, it's so depressed and I had severe postpartum depression because of what I experienced in the hospital.
00:38:12
Speaker
So I said, you know what, I'm never having any more kids unless we can do a home birth. And I, of course, had to listen to all the opinions of, well, don't get pregnant until 18 months after a C-section because all these complications can happen.
00:38:36
Speaker
Are you sure? Like that's terrifying. Are you sure you want to do a home birth? And I'm like, Oh yeah, I would never step foot in a hospital unless it was dire straits. There's no way. So yeah, we can get into the home birth if you want, but. Yeah. Yeah. So you had that, you obviously didn't have the next one, the next birth 18. So you did wait about three years, I guess. Right. Well, no, I got pregnant right at,
00:39:05
Speaker
Like right after my first turned 18 months. So he was, when did we find out? We found out right before he was 18 months. So they are almost exactly two and a half years apart. Right.
00:39:32
Speaker
So yeah, anyway, and before we even decided to get pregnant with our second, I researched and found a number of home birth midwives
Home Birth and Supportive Care
00:39:41
Speaker
in our area. And then we went and we interviewed them. So I went and I met their teams. I contacted them up front. I just, I said, I am not taking any, I'm taking all precautions here. I'm not, I'm not going to go through the risk.
00:39:58
Speaker
Yes, I know there's a risk with VBAC, which is vaginal birth after cesarean, that you could end up having another C-section. But I said, you know what, it's worth it to me to try to do the home birth. And as long as I feel good about the team, let's do this. And my husband totally agreed. He said, I never want to go through that experience with you again. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, we found a fantastic team. It was a whole team of.
00:40:28
Speaker
was actually a main midwife. And then there was an assistant midwife in training, but she already had nine years of doula experience. And they had a whole team of doulas. So I had, oh gosh, like when I was in labor, I had two midwives, five doulas.
00:40:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I mean, it was it was amazing. I basically just got massage the whole time. Oh, wow. My feet, my back, like everything. Bring me the head of a pig. Yes, exactly. Like served on the silver platter. And they made me eat the whole time, which like towards the end, when I was in like, in labor, heavy labor.
00:41:16
Speaker
You know, my son's getting ready to come out and they're like, here, you got to drink this protein shake. And I'm like, his head's right there. And they're like, no, you have to eat. And they would make me eat. So, and I'm so glad they did. I mean, I can't, I can't even imagine going through labor without eating. And I feel like that's why they, they encourage you to get an epidural. So you can't feel how hungry you are when you're in the hospital.
00:41:46
Speaker
Yeah, you know, they just numb you. So yeah, it's a shame. But yeah, I mean, I couldn't recommend a home birth anymore. I just I talk it up. So I just have such a high regard for it.
00:42:02
Speaker
So yeah, anyway, and I still keep in touch with the whole team. One of my sister's friends, I actually was able to connect with the doula team because she had expressed to me when I was pregnant, you know, God, it would be so amazing to be a midwife. Well, I got her in contact with the team and they ended up taking her on as a doula and she ended up being at my birth. So it was really cool. And to this day, she's in training now to become a midwife.
00:42:31
Speaker
So, pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool how that happened.
00:42:34
Speaker
Yeah, the whole process is just so... I think the society has nor... The social engineers have normalized this very horrible process. I swear to God, Sarah, almost every single woman here in our local community that I've spoken to that had a hospital worth
00:43:02
Speaker
invariably, as soon as I literally two days ago, I took my daughter to like a play sort of thing. And there was
00:43:14
Speaker
there was some, you know, relatively new moms there. And as soon as you asked them, did you do a, which hospital, where did you give birth? You know, they tell you the hospital, there's only like three hospitals here in the whole of the South of Portugal. And there's a particular private hospital. As soon as
00:43:37
Speaker
they say in that particular hospital, I'm like, oh, did you do a C-section? And it's like, yeah. It's like, and then the face they make when you ask them, how was it? Was it, did it go okay? And just the initial face they make tells you everything you need to know. And then of course you hear a horror story of some kind. Some are worse than others, of course, some are reasonably okay. But
00:44:01
Speaker
That's why I try not to share too much info on that because I don't want to scare any moms out there who may be pregnant or thinking about having their first. Yeah. Because it could just, God, I mean, my experience at home was just the most beautiful thing. I laugh to this day that my second son is going to be three in June, which is right, right around the corner. Yeah. I'm like, it feels like it was yesterday. I mean, it was just, it was beautiful. We, so we had the,
00:44:33
Speaker
We had the the pool in the living room. We had the birthing tub in the living room. Music playing. I mean, it was just so seamless. And I was in. So I always forget the phases of labor, but the first portion where it's not active labor, I labored at home. I went into labor at midnight. And
00:45:00
Speaker
My husband and I were laughing about it because of course we decided to stay up late knowing that my due date was like that day. And I said, you know, I, we should probably not finish this movie tonight. I just have this sense that I'm about to go into labor. I said, so I'm going to go to bed. And he goes, okay, that's fine. I went to the bathroom. When I came back out, I said, we're having a baby. So I went into labor right then and there.
00:45:30
Speaker
And yeah, it was really interesting. I texted my midwife and I let her know, hey, this happened. My contractions have begun. They were very mild. I said, I'm going to go to sleep. And I'll call you if anything progresses. And she said, OK. So I was able to sleep about six hours. I woke up at 6 AM.
00:45:58
Speaker
heavy, heavy contractions. And I called her again, and she said, okay, well, no big deal. You're doing fine. So we just kept going. And I would say within a very short amount of time, I probably went from zero centimeters up to like four in a two hour period, which is pretty quick. And when the team finally got here, I was already at seven or eight centimeters by myself.
00:46:29
Speaker
So by the time they got here, we were ready to go, but it was really great. Everybody was so supportive. As soon as I got in the water, the water tub, my, it was weird. It was like my contractions just stopped. Wow. And it got really calm and I started to fall asleep on the side of the tub at nine centimeters. I'm falling asleep on the side of the tub. No epidural, no medication.
00:46:58
Speaker
It was totally natural. And my midwife was like, are you sleeping? Well, yeah, I'm starting to get there. I'm a little tired. And she goes, okay. But then my body started contracting and was trying to push the baby out. So it was just such an interesting experience to go through all of that. And
00:47:23
Speaker
Yeah, I mean your body just knows it knows what to do. Yeah, but we did have some minor complications My son Through the whole whole birth he had his little arm up because we came that we come to find out he was in the right position but His arm was up and he was sucking on his fingers trying to come out and it caused a
00:47:53
Speaker
He got stuck and at no point did I ever feel scared or, Oh my God, am I going to have to go to the hospital? It was the midwives just knew what to do and they did what they had to do. And then we got him out and we were all kind of laughing about it because he came out sucking his fingers. So, you know, that's just, it caused a shoulder dystocia, which is why he got stuck. And, um, you know, just find yourself a good team. I guess that's all I can say.
00:48:24
Speaker
I could rave about it for hours, but great experience. Wouldn't trade it for the world. That's really awesome. I think just having the balls as well, because we are also so again, bombarded with this really propaganda. You know, once you've had a C-section, you have to have a C-section. It's like, Oh my God. And one of the, you know, what's crazy is one of the girls that I worked with, she's a couple of years younger than me.
00:48:53
Speaker
We had our kids at the same time and we got pregnant about the same time with our second. And I asked her, I said, Oh, are you interested in doing a home birth or anything like that? And she goes, No, I've already scheduled my second C-section. I said, Oh my God. Okay. Exactly. Exactly what they do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody says it's safe. It's not safe.
00:49:16
Speaker
There's nothing safe about it. That's why it should be an emergency situation. Serious surgery for God's sake. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, you had asked before, you know, do you think two things, I think you had asked me, did my health decline have anything to do with labor or the childbirth? I do believe it was the amount of stress.
00:49:45
Speaker
And just the PTSD and I just, I really felt like I had been robbed of my first labor. And that played very heavily on me for the first, I would say year and a half after my first son was born. So I really had to dive deep into the emotional well to get over that one.
Emotional Development and Birth Impact
00:50:09
Speaker
But this, and to this day, given our experience in the hospital, I say hour, like me, my husband, and my son, I feel that that plays significantly on his emotional development. So not being able to hold him right away because I was too drugged. I mean, I was incapacitated, drugged. Out of my mind, I cannot believe how much medication they gave me.
00:50:35
Speaker
So not being able to hold him like all, just all the things that are like intrinsic to humans and babies and all of that. Oh, I wholeheartedly believe that plays a role in his emotional development.
00:50:49
Speaker
And by the way, this is straight up criminal. This is like a crime against humanity, what they're doing. Because some more philosophical guys I follow, they're saying that a lot of societal problems are stemming
00:51:07
Speaker
from just these seemingly simple things that seemingly, oh, it's just, you know, what happened on day one? How can that have an impact on a person's entire life and trajectory? But it's really, they want this because they want us to kind of be traumatized because we become more malleable as a society.
00:51:33
Speaker
And then it's daddy government that we look for instead of learning to be, to feel safe and nurtured from day one. I think it's, they're doing it. This is a crime against humanity, what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. Well, I couldn't agree more. I just can't walk around saying that to people. So I just, I try to very gently coax people into the home birth world. And yeah, after going through that, my second birth at home, I really,
00:52:04
Speaker
I was trying to align things for myself to become a postpartum doula because I said, Oh my God, like the amount of stress that a woman has to deal with, she should be able to focus on, on the most important thing in her life, which is her baby. When she has it like for the first year even, but especially that first six months is so taxing. I mean, especially when you have to work.
00:52:32
Speaker
and you're trying to take care, or if you decide to nurse, all of those things, it's so multifaceted. And so I almost became a postpartum doula, but it was just, I really couldn't do it. I mean, being called at any hour, having to, I'm like, well, I don't have anywhere to put my kids at 2am. So
00:52:54
Speaker
You know, it didn't work out, but maybe sometime later in my life, maybe I'll do that. Actually earlier, earlier, I was going to mention that you, what you've been through in terms of your health journey, I think these kinds of people with these kinds of experiences, they become the best clinicians. So I really think you would make a great sort of even functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner at some point, you know, if you ever have the time to get into it.
00:53:21
Speaker
Well, that's kind of on the horizon for me, Christian. You know, I've been thinking about it, you know, especially now that I can work from home and... In that case, I'll give you my referral code. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we'll see what happens this year.
00:53:38
Speaker
Yeah. And I would love, I would love to, you know, if, if, if I can support, if you do actually decide to do any of that kind of training, I'd love to support you through that, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. I'll keep you posted. I'm sure we'll be in touch. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then the other question you had asked me was, so you asked about my, my son's emotional development and then his birth in the hospital, having a relationship to that, but you asked me something else.
00:54:08
Speaker
Oh, I think I answered it. It was just about, did my health decline, was that related? Yeah, so after your first son, you said you had pretty severe postpartum depression. Yes. It's obviously from the birth, obviously, because for the labor, the drugs, just a lot of those, because it's like a woman, I believe a lot of girls, when they're growing up,
00:54:36
Speaker
they're imagining kind of Prince Charming, the whole wedding thing. And then of course, yeah, they're imagining a gorgeous birth. And yeah, so I think when they rip that, when this sort of system
00:54:51
Speaker
of, you know, I try to kind of contain myself here because I'm getting, you know, a bit angry about it. But the system, you know, they they're ripping the most beautiful moments away from from us, you know, I hear about it. Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:10
Speaker
Oh yeah, so where was I going this again? I know sometimes I get a little bit emotional myself because it's, you know, this is why I do what I do because I want to be a part of the solution so we can build new better systems to replace this, you know, the B system, if
Postpartum Depression and Medical System
00:55:29
Speaker
we can call it. It's only a matter of time.
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah, so where I was going with this is, so the depression, this is another real travesty, how they handle postpartum depression, because even, I'm not sure I'm allowed to
00:55:47
Speaker
comment too much. But my wife had a bout of very severe insomnia after we had our daughter and even sleeping pills couldn't knock her out, you know, from the pharmacy. So she wanted me to take her to a doctor. We went to a psychiatrist and she just wanted some sleeping pill that would work. So just so she could recover some sleep, you know, and I might have her on the podcast at some point to discuss it in more depth. But anyway,
00:56:13
Speaker
i was with her daughter she went in there for not even 45 minutes there not even 45 minutes she came back out with the prescription so i went in the car and i looked at the prescription and this piece of shit had
00:56:31
Speaker
prescribed her an anti-psychotic and an SSRI, selective serotonin and riopathic inhibitor. I'm telling you, if I had been in that room, he would have had a pretty rough day. You know what I mean? I couldn't believe it. Well, they treat us, and this is something that I've read about. It's the medical system, the indoctrination and the propaganda
00:56:59
Speaker
of these medical, and I'm not gonna downplay it, allopathy has its place and it is an emergency trauma only. They have no business, and I think people are catching on to this. They have no business diagnosing, treating, they don't treat anything. They just write a prescription and cover it up with a Band-Aid.
00:57:27
Speaker
I've actually read about this in some books that, especially with women, it's like the desensitizing and downplaying the traumas that we experience, especially in labor and childbirth. And then they just say, oh, she's just depressed or she's a psycho or she's crazy.
00:57:56
Speaker
Yeah. And the scary part is, is that now with all the medical billing codes, they can mark it in there that you are mentally unstable and it gives them grounds not to say that it's ever going to happen, but you know, should you start having issues later in life, they always have that on your medical record that you are mentally unstable and unfit to be a mother. And that's the thing that is terrifying to me because when I had my son,
00:58:26
Speaker
And I was so, I mean, I was denying it. I was like, no, I'm fine. I'm really strong. I'll be able to overcome this. But it got so bad and it's hard for me to admit this, but I thought about, I was like becoming suicidal. And because I wasn't sleeping, I had, I mean, my son was just, oh my God, he was just crying all the time.
00:58:53
Speaker
And they tell you when you're in the hospital here, like no co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is bad. Don't do it because it's dangerous. You're going to kill your baby, all this stuff. And then I start reading about like all these tribes around the world and that's all they do is co-sleep. They hold their babies next to their bodies. And I'm like, this is so counterintuitive to everything I was told.
00:59:17
Speaker
Why, why are they doing this? Oh, you know, to degrade the family system and the maternal instincts. Trust us, not your intuition. Trust the science. Trust the science that's, you know, bogus, but you know, I read about that and I was really scared, but I did go on. I went to the doctor. I did not know what else to do. I didn't want to hurt myself or my son.
00:59:44
Speaker
So I did go on an SSRI for a number of months, and the whole time I just hated it. Oh my God, I'm like, this is everything I'm against. But when I realized, and I would journal about the experience because I'm like, I gotta get over this, man. This sucks. So I did deal with it on my own, but I also had, what was hard for me is health wise,
01:00:14
Speaker
So not only was I not sleeping, but I was so used to during my first pregnancy, or even before that, I mentioned that was really active. I worked out, I lifted weights, all this stuff that I used to do. I couldn't do any of it. I had a diastasis recti, which is when you have the separation of your abs and then they don't go back together after childbirth. And it caused, it caused me like lower back issues. I wasn't able to do any core exercises.
01:00:44
Speaker
And oddly enough, even though I had a C-section, I had a lot of complications with my pelvic floor. So even though I didn't have that natural labor, if I went for long walks, it hurt. I couldn't jog. There was all this stuff that I couldn't do. So I was just like, man, I can't do anything I like right now. This sucks.
01:01:08
Speaker
And some, some women do us an elective C-section in order to prevent all that pelvic floor rearrangement. Yeah, it still happens. So, um, yeah, I mean, there's just so many, so many things, but yeah, we could do, we're already derailing, but we could just talk about that stuff forever. I think the main point is, is that if you feel that something is intuitively wrong, it is.
Parental Intuition and Holistic Parenting
01:01:37
Speaker
It's like trust your body, trust your baby. Nature knows what to do. Yeah, absolutely. This is the craziest part. You said it already. We're being conditioned to go against our instincts.
01:02:02
Speaker
Sarah, I think I've taken enough of your time for this episode, so I really appreciate your time. I love your insights. I think just for the last couple of minutes, maybe if you can share any of your other, because you've been through a lot, you know a lot,
01:02:23
Speaker
Can you share for the parents, the moms, listening, any other words of wisdom or encouragement in terms of taking ownership and responsibility for your family's health? And don't censor yourself in any way, shape, or form. If you think something is important for people to hear that is difficult for you to tell like a friend or let's say, quote, unquote, a person that's a bit more of a normie type
01:02:53
Speaker
don't hold back. Yeah, gosh. I mean, the same the the number one theme or thing that I would tell any parent is you are the expert of you, your body and your child. There is nobody out there, even dads, I mean, not to downplay the father, but there is a
01:03:22
Speaker
connection that a mother has with her baby, whether it be because we grow them or that's our nature is to nurture is you have got to trust yourself and your baby. I have just been so livid with some mothers that
01:03:41
Speaker
Now granted, especially in this country and around the world too, in certain countries, the medical system is held on this pedestal. Like they know everything about everything and they're the only ones who are right. And I've even had mothers tell me, I just feel like something is off. And I said, well, because it is and you're not listening to me and you're not listening to yourself and you're not listening to your baby. And I have had friends that,
01:04:13
Speaker
Yeah. I just, I guess do your research. I don't, I don't want to go down the vaccine hole, but do your research and, and look at who the sources are. Really tap into, I'm really big on the whole mind, body, spirit. It's a tri-connection. If your mind doesn't write, your body's going to feel it. If you're not spiritually connected to yourself or
01:04:41
Speaker
whatever, regardless of what your beliefs are, if you're not connected on all three points, there's going to be a major disalignment. And it all plays into parenting. I'm all about gentle parenting, attachment parenting. They shouldn't even be those terms. I mean, all it is is just your child needs you and it's okay to be needed. And I don't know how it is in other countries, but here in the US,
01:05:10
Speaker
all because of the feminist movement. And it's been good in some regards, but terrible for the family unit. And by the way, who started the feminist movement? The Rockefellers. Exactly. No agenda whatsoever there, I'm sure. No, of course not. But you know, it is hard. And I think especially for working moms or women who have very prominent careers,
01:05:39
Speaker
It is incredibly difficult to give that up. I gave it up because I knew that's what I just felt this pulse inside me. Like every time I had to give my child away to somebody else, whether it be for four hours, eight hours, nine hours, I said, well, they're raising my child, not me. And that's heartbreaking. So even though we get frustrated that we have to be with our children or that
01:06:09
Speaker
Not have to be, but like, let's say you're in a position where you get to be home with your kids. We still need breaks. Everybody needs a break away from their kids and that's not wrong. But to give them away and they're still going to be situations where you need to, sometimes both parents need to work, but find that network, find that community, a small community of family members, good friends that your kids can trust.
01:06:37
Speaker
That's the way we get through it and helping other mothers don't ever be afraid to ask for help. I think too many times we feel like we have to be the ones that do everything for everyone. And the more that that gets told to us or the more we feel that and we don't ask for help, the more health problems you're going to have because you're not taking care of yourself too. So for what it's worth,
01:07:07
Speaker
That's my thing is trust your intuition, do your research, ask around, talk to people who have gone through experiences and just trust that your body and your baby know what to do when it comes to birthing and labor. So I don't know.
01:07:25
Speaker
I love it. I guess that's it. That's great. I won't add anything more to that because we could rabbit hole many topics for multiple hours. With that, Sarah, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for sharing some of these very personal experiences.
01:07:47
Speaker
I know you're a fairly private person, so I really appreciate you kind of opening up to our listeners. Because this is how we have an opportunity to share, whether that's wisdom, trauma experience, we have an opportunity to help other people make better decisions for themselves and their family. And I love that we can do this together. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I really appreciate the opportunity to tell the story.
01:08:17
Speaker
weigh in on things. I think it's important and we all need to be okay with being vulnerable. You can't have growth without vulnerability. And you really can't create meaningful connections without it either. And that's something I've learned from having kids and going through these experiences. So yeah, I appreciate it. And really look forward to continuing working with you. Thanks, Sarah. All right. Talk to you soon, Christian.