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00:00:01
Introduction {Episode 1}
204 Plays6 years ago
Welcome to Outnumbered! We're so glad you're here.
We're your hosts, Bonnie and Audrey and we're EACH moms to 8 children, and both expecting our 9th!
We run crazy, insane households but we really enjoy our callings as mothers and can't wait to help you better enjoy yours. With a combined total of 33 years of mothering experience, we're acutely aware of just how hard this job is, but also how equally valuable it is.
In other words, we're here to help you find the joy in the chaos of motherhood.
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Transcript
Introduction and Motherhood Chaos
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. And we're moms to a combined total of 16 kids with two more on the way. Yes, we know that sounds insane, and it usually is. But we're here to share the tips that help us keep our sanity and to share inspiring thoughts that help us get through each crazy day. Uninterrupted conversation is foreign to us, but we'll try. And we invite you to join us on our journey as we find joy in the chaos of motherhood.
00:00:47
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I am Bonnie and here with my co-host Audrey. Hello. And we have a couple of things to share about motherhood. We are super excited to be starting this podcast because we are both moms of a crazy amount of children and we have a bit of motherhood experience that we are excited to share with all of you.
00:01:08
Speaker
We are actually each both expecting our ninth child, which makes us totally and completely insane, but also really excited to share with you what we've learned through motherhood and what we hope to inspire you to be able to get out of these crazy years.
Blogging, Sewing, and Homeschooling
00:01:23
Speaker
Exactly. We also each have our own blogs and we both love to sew and we homeschool our kids.
00:01:30
Speaker
which makes us doubly insane. I'm sure we're going to find a whole bunch more stuff as we do this podcast together. That's right. One of our goals for this podcast is to help each one of you find a little bit of joy and a little bit of happiness in your journey as a mother, but we wanted to say right at the outset that the advice and ideas and tips that we share are not going to work for every mom and they're not going to work for every
Personalized Advice for Families
00:01:54
Speaker
kid.
00:01:54
Speaker
We know probably better than most, right? That it sometimes works and it sometimes doesn't. Exactly. We'll be the first ones to tell you that what works for one kid does not work for the next. So we're basically here just to share that there's lots of crazy moms dealing with their own brand of chaos all over the country, all over the world. And we're a couple of them here that just want to tell you, you can still find joy in happiness even when life seems really overwhelming. Exactly. Even when you're outnumbered.
00:02:21
Speaker
Exactly. Very outnumbered. 9 to 1. So we're just going to give you a little overview of what each podcast is going to look like, roughly, so you know what to expect. So each week we're going to start out with a little bit of some mom humor. We know that motherhood can be wildly stressful, but also really, really funny sometimes. So we want to share some of that with you guys.
00:02:43
Speaker
We're going to share either a crazy mom moment, one of those times you weren't sure you'd survive. If you ever have one of these and want to send them in to us, please do. We'd love to share. Our email address is outnumberedthepodcastatgmail.com.
00:02:56
Speaker
So feel free to send in your insane mom moments to us. We'd love to share them. We also like to talk sometimes about the things that we never thought we'd say as crazy frazzled moms. And sometimes these can be really, really funny. Bonnie and I have a whole library of things we never thought we'd say. And I'm really excited to share them with you here because sometimes they come out of my mouth and I think, did anybody just hear that? Was I the only one that just heard that? I hope not.
00:03:24
Speaker
And my kids don't appreciate him like I do. So actually, that will segue us into an insane mom moment we'd like to share with you each today.
Listener Story: Midnight Target Adventure
00:03:33
Speaker
Each of us have a fun audience on Instagram that we like to share with.
00:03:37
Speaker
And one of our Instagram followers, Crystal from Instagram, sent in this crazy mom moment. You guys are gonna love this one. She says, the one crazy mom moment that sticks out to me is from when my now 16-year-old was six. He was obsessed with Transformers. It was right before Christmas and we were in Utah, so it was snowy and super cold. We went to Target and he mentioned one he wanted. So I told him he needed to write it down for his Christmas list. We carried on with our errands and went home.
00:04:04
Speaker
At about midnight, I woke up to what I thought was the sound of my front door opening. I got up and went to check it out and found it unlocked. I peeked outside. We were living on the second floor of an apartment building and didn't see anything, so I locked it and went back inside, but decided to check on my boys before I checked out the rest of the apartment. I saw my three-year-old sleeping soundly, but my six-year-old was missing.
00:04:25
Speaker
I looked everywhere. I was so freaked out, I called 911 and panicked. While I was still on the phone with 911, a report came in that said they found my son. He had decided to take his piggy bank, a Target sack, and his coat to Target. He had made it through a fence and into a business parking lot before the police had found him.
00:04:47
Speaker
No. All he had to say for himself was that Christmas was too far away. He is still pretty self sufficient and stubborn. That experience still gives me nightmares. Oh my gosh, Crystal. Oh my word. My heart goes out to you but I'm glad you can laugh about it now, right? Oh my goodness. Exactly.
00:05:05
Speaker
Kids try to kill us sometimes, that's hilarious. So after we give you a little bit of mom humor on each podcast, then we will talk about some aspect of motherhood or raising children that we are passionate about. So sometimes we'll talk about improving ourselves as moms, how to find time for ourselves, or managing the chaos and troubleshooting kid problems and household management. Everything from making time to our own hobbies, to teaching potty training and chores, you name it, we will talk about it.
00:05:33
Speaker
And then finally, at the end of each podcast, we will wrap up with a recommendation of something that has helped us improve as moms. So this could be anything from a great book, a mom product, a blog or article, or life hack that has really helped us live the chaos a little bit smoother.
00:05:49
Speaker
So, I am going to go ahead and turn the time over to Audrey. She's going to give a little intro of herself so you can get to know her better. Take it away.
Life in a Large Family: Audrey's Story
00:05:55
Speaker
Okay, very good. My name is Audrey and I blog at Skirt Fixation all about sewing and about skirts and about fun stuff like that. I also get to lead the
00:06:11
Speaker
fun online children's sewing event called Project Run and Play. I have, as Bonnie said, almost nine kids. I'm currently in my third trimester of my ninth child. And so my oldest, our oldest is 20. She is studying business management in college. And our next son, number two, he is a big giant of a boy. He's 6'9 and 18 years old.
00:06:41
Speaker
He is also in college studying civil engineering. Number three is a girl. She's 16, just got her learner's permit and is adding gray hairs to my head every day. Number four is a 13-year-old boy and he is very go-getter. He loves anything to do with
00:07:06
Speaker
horses. He's obsessed with horses. And no, we don't have any horses, even though we live on a hobby farm in the Midwest and have a bunch of animals. Oh, hang on. Let's get back to the kids. Number five is a girl. She's 10 years old, sweet as all get out, and very good at managing, helping around the house with her siblings. Let's see, where am I? Number six is a boy. So if you've been keeping track, we've gone girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, and now we have a boy. Yeah, we're just talented like that.
00:07:37
Speaker
Good job. Yeah, so number six is a boy. He's seven years old. He is rambunctious and all boy, 100%. His personality is so cute. If we have one kid that'll be president someday, this is a kid probably because he is like the CEO of everything.
00:07:56
Speaker
Love it. Then we got off on our pattern. Number seven is another boy. So we went boy, boy. And these two boys in a row are so fun. Everybody thinks they're twins. They're close to the same size, but they're personality wise, they are about as different as you can get. This four year old, number seven, he's shy and he's quiet and he just loves to snuggle his mom.
00:08:26
Speaker
And every night he sneaks into bed and sleeps with us. It's so sweet. Oh, cute. Number eight is a little girl and she is one and a half.
00:08:38
Speaker
And she's the most spoiled child in the entire world because she has so many older brothers and sisters. And anytime I try to teach her something or discipline or tell her, no, no, something, they say, oh, mommy, you know, she didn't mean it. And they grab her and snuggle her.
00:08:57
Speaker
Lucky girl. The rest is history. And now number nine is due to be born actually almost on her birthday. Very close. So we'll see. We'll see where this leads. And we don't know if number nine is a boy or a girl. Okay. It's probably one of the other though, right?
00:09:13
Speaker
I hope so. So exciting. Like I mentioned, we live in the Midwest. We live on a hobby farm. We have chickens for eggs, rabbits for meat, goats for milk, a dog for keeping everything away, cats for the mice. And we have also had other various and sundry menagerie of animals in the past. And we are probably going to be getting
00:09:41
Speaker
Like a dairy cow. Oh cool. I'm so excited. We homeschool and we have a garden, big gardens. We have a greenhouse that so that even though we don't live in Arizona like Bonnie, we can eat fresh produce all winter long. Smart.
00:09:59
Speaker
I love to sew. It's my creative outlet and cooking also is not only a necessity, but something I really like to do. It better be something you like. A couple of
Life in a Large Family: Bonnie's Story
00:10:12
Speaker
fun facts about me. I'm six feet tall. That's probably where my son gets his height from.
00:10:17
Speaker
I have a brother actually that's 6'9 also. How tall is your husband? He's 6'1. Oh, okay. Yeah. They were all going to be tall no matter what. They are. There are no shorties in this family. No, no. I sew my own wardrobe because I am six feet tall, but also because I just really enjoy it. And let's see, last fun fact, I studied elementary education in college, which is serving me very well now. Yes, you're smart. I should have done the same.
00:10:47
Speaker
Okay, my favorite part of motherhood is I always wanted a big family, but I never imagined how amazing the dynamics of a big family would be. It is so seriously amazing to watch my children develop their own personalities into their own people like independent of me. One of my kids has a personality that's a lot like my mother-in-law, and it's so amazing to see.
00:11:16
Speaker
just watching them grow into their own unique people, affected by each other, definitely. I mean, the baby, she spoiled rotten like she wouldn't be if she was an only child. For sure. Yeah. I just love it. That's my favorite part is watching these babies grow into humans and really neat people that I want to be friends with. That's really cool. How about your least favorite part? Pregnancy.
00:11:45
Speaker
I feel ya. Maybe that's because I'm, you know, third trimester here, but yeah. No, seriously, probably doubting myself like if what I'm doing is the right thing and just questioning how big of an impact am I having on these kids and is it the right kind of impact? That's like my least favorite part. Oh, I think that's something we all struggle with. So hard. Tell me more about you, Bonnie.
00:12:13
Speaker
Okay. Well, my name is Bonnie and I blog at bonnieandblithe.com. My blog is all about inspiring moms to find joy in the chaos. I also sew and blog a little bit about that. But I like to share style tips, motherhood tips, things that make other moms feel like they're not alone, hopefully. We also have eight point
00:12:38
Speaker
four children. I'm trying to make sure my decibels are right. Point five, I think, point five. So our kids are the two oldest are boys, 13 and 11, and also very, very different personalities. It's funny to see them interact. And then we have three girls in a row, a nine-year-old and seven-year-old twins. And the twins also, they're fraternal, but as different as different can be. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but they're sure funny to play off each other.
00:13:06
Speaker
And then, so number six is a boy. He's kind of standalone boy and a bunch of girls. He's a hoot as well. And then we have two girls, ages three and one and a half as well. And then the baby that's coming. So due in April, also very, very close to my seventh baby's birthday, but that's just how we do it. I get birthdays stacked on top of each other all over the place. I can't plan to save my life. But they come when they come, you know, and we'll take it. Exactly.
00:13:35
Speaker
So, we live in Arizona, and we also just this year moved into a new house with a little bit of property. We're on a three-quarter acre and are looking forward to have kind of a mini, bit of a mini farm, kind of like Audrey. Right now, we just have five cats. I don't know how we ended up in five cats. Two live outside and kind of came with the house, so that wasn't really my fault. But then we went ahead and adopted three on our own, so that was my fault.
00:14:00
Speaker
Oh, you won't have any mice. That's for sure. Right, right. I don't know that they're already... Actually, that's... Oh, we did find one. Anyway, that's it. I don't want to get into that. But we'd also like to have some chickens and maybe a goat. I think that could be really fun. Oh, good. That's very good. You're so awesome. Oh, yeah. I think that'd be great. And I love teaching kids how to take care of animals because they love to play with them, but they need to learn to work for them too.
00:14:24
Speaker
Our home life sounds fairly similar to yours, only fewer animals. We homeschool as well and we have since the beginning and we love it even though it's chaotic and I often wonder what the heck I'm doing if my kids are ever going to learn math too. A couple of fun facts about me, I have lived in four different countries and speak three languages or I used to, I'm out of practice. Oh, what languages? Spanish and Russian along with English. I'm fairly fluent in Pig Latin too, I'm pretty proud of that.
00:14:53
Speaker
Do your kids speak it, though? No, they don't. We're teaching them Spanish, but I'm not as good at it as I should be. So you and your husband speak Pig Latin whenever you want to speak Pig Latin. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, whatever. I actually grew up quite a few years living in Mexico with my dad's job on foreign assignment. And then I went to Russia as a missionary, as an adult. And so I love to travel and live weird places.
00:15:19
Speaker
I also love to run when I'm not very largely pregnant. So like I said before, and I just really love talking about motherhood. So that's why we're here. My favorite part about being a mom, I actually wish I could steal yours, the part about watching kids interact and become their own humans because I really like them.
00:15:39
Speaker
Yeah, you can steal it. Okay. I'm stealing that. It's awesome. I like Audrey's and I also really, really enjoy just seeing my kids reach specific milestones. So, you know, when they learn to read, when they learn to walk, when they... I just think that watching kids grow up is one of the most rewarding things ever. If you can stop yourself from crying the first time your kid takes a step or...
00:16:00
Speaker
He likes to drive a car or whatever, but I think it's so fun to watch. My least favorite part, at least for me at this stage in life, is probably the noise or the nonstop needs from me. Oh my goodness. Somebody always needs me and it's so flipping loud all the time. All the time. It makes it hard for me to remember that I'm someone other than mom, mom, mom, mom.
00:16:25
Speaker
Like, I'm a human being. Leave me alone for five minutes. So that is a struggle. But the pros definitely outweigh the neediness, that's for sure.
Reactions to Large Families
00:16:34
Speaker
Absolutely. So today, as a little bit of an intro to us and our particular brand of motherhood, we are going to be answering a few funny and serious questions that we are often asked about our families. As you can probably tell, it's a little unusual to have nine children and a quick little funny story about that.
00:16:54
Speaker
is that Audrey and I will be speaking at a blog conference together and we emailed each other trying to set some things up and figure out what we're talking about. And she said, just FYI, I want you to know that I'm expecting my ninth child now, so I'll have a new baby there. I hope you're going to be okay with that. And then she said, I keep waiting for your announcement about your ninth. And then I just laughed and laughed because of course I was pregnant. So I emailed her back and said, surprise, we're both crazy.
00:17:23
Speaker
So I just didn't know if I could do nine kids without you. Well, here I am. I'll stick with it with you to the end. So it is pretty funny what all the things we have in common and especially the passion for.
00:17:36
Speaker
finding joy in this crazy journey. So we get some funny questions when we're out and about and when people find out how many children we have. Usually, I don't know if this happens to you, Audrey, but usually when people find out, there's a bit of a shock and awe period. There's like this, jaw drops, eyes open, and they go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? The most common response I get is, I could never do that.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, trust me. I don't think I can either. Oh, I've been so tempted sometimes to say, I know you couldn't, but that's so snotty. Seriously, Audrey. Rude. I know. Oh, that's funny. Okay. So here's a good one that I've heard in multiple times that I'm going to ask you and see how you would respond to it. Okay. You ready? Okay. Yeah. Audrey, you must have your hands full. How do you manage?
00:18:32
Speaker
What's funny about that is usually I'm out alone. And so I'll hold, because my kids, you know, as I told you in the spacing of my kids, they're pretty spread out. And so I'm usually out alone and they find out I have nine kids and they say that to me. And I usually hold up both my hands, like my hands are empty right now, actually.
00:18:49
Speaker
And then I try to, I mean, like if I think they're seriously asking, I try to explain how awesome it is to have, okay, yes, I'm expecting my ninth child, but I have two teenage daughters, like two live-in nannies. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky. Can I have one? No.
00:19:09
Speaker
No, I need them. I do think it's a serious question that a lot of people have, but luckily for most people, kids come one at a time, except for just that dang set of twins, but we'll talk about that another time. Okay. And you just kind of ease into it one at a time and just find yourself all of a sudden, here you are, kind of crazy.
00:19:28
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Here's a good one that I'm sure you get asked all the time. We do. Are you done having kids? Audrey, that's none of your business. I'm just kidding. I seriously do want to say that sometimes. Oh, me too. That's kind of personal, right? But actually, the answer is probably no. I can't believe that.
00:19:50
Speaker
My husband and I both really felt drawn to having a big family when we were first dating and married and talking about that sort of thing. So we knew we were on the same page. We just never talked about a number. And I just feel really strongly that we'll know when we've reached that number. And I don't know, maybe this kid will come out and I'll go, yes, we're done.
00:20:08
Speaker
But I've just felt really strongly that there's always another one waiting. So there you have it. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. Yeah. You know, the way it is for me is when I'm pregnant, it's always my last child. Oh, I feel you there. Yeah.
00:20:24
Speaker
When they're sweet and tiny, you know, oh, well, yeah, maybe I could do this again. The worst is when people come to visit you right after having a baby, like the baby is hours or days old. And they're like, oh, so are you done? And I'm like, yeah.
00:20:40
Speaker
I'm never doing that again. Right. When you both have, you still have after pains and your milk is coming in. Oh yeah. And you're about as miserable as possible. But then give me a few weeks later and I'm like, oh, look at that. Cute thing. I do it all over again. The knuckle dimples get me every time. Oh, they are so cute. Seriously. So cute. Okay. So next one for you. You ready? Yeah. Do you ever just want to quit or give up on this motherhood gig?
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah, as soon as I find somebody to take my place, I'm out of here. I think honestly, that's what keeps a lot of us here is like, well, who's going to feed these children if I just walk out? I'm the only one who knows what so-and-so, you know, lies. Exactly. Someone will make their grilled cheese the wrong way and, you know, the world will end. It'll be over. It'll be all over. Yeah.
00:21:28
Speaker
No, I do think that's kind of a serious question though, and we're going to address that in one of our future podcasts, that sometimes you just want to give up, but there are ways around that and ways of getting through those psychotic, crazy days when you just think you can't do one more day of this. Yeah, because there are days like that and you have to keep going. So how do you cope? Yep, agreed.
Balancing Priorities in Motherhood
00:21:49
Speaker
Okay, here's one. How do you do it all? I hate this one. I hate it.
00:21:55
Speaker
People ask me this all the time and I want to be like, I don't do it all, are you insane? By the way, what is all? Like, do I do laundry and make food? Sometimes, not usually on the same day. Kids, today you get food or you get clean clothes, which do you want? Exactly.
00:22:12
Speaker
No, I do think that people are kind of tongue in cheek, but also serious and wondering like, I have a hard time with my two kids. How do you manage mine? But it's really everybody's struggles are unique to them. And when I had two kids, I thought there's no way I can handle another one either. And you just kind of adapt and you really learn what's important and what's not. There are a lot of things that really were important. I spent a lot of time on when I was
00:22:36
Speaker
a young mom of just a couple of kids and I just don't do those things anymore. A lot of them because you just have to choose what's worth your time and what's not. Yeah, exactly. And we're going to have a future podcast about time management and how you do find time to do more when, because everybody has the same amount of time in a day. So how we manage, what we fit into our 24 hours. Yeah, agreed.
00:22:59
Speaker
Okay, another one for you, Audrey. Do you ever forget your children's names? Seriously, yes. You're a horrible mother. I'm seriously considering giving them numbers. It would be easier, right? That is probably very wise, very wise indeed.
00:23:20
Speaker
Oh, you know what it is. I open the door and I'm like, up, up, up. And I go through four different names before I come up with the right one. The last time one of my kids got mad at me for that, why do you always call me his name? I said, have you ever called me dad? No. Yeah. Well, there you go. And you only have two parents' names to remember. I got eight. So give me a little break here, you know?
00:23:43
Speaker
Here's another question that's also kind of offensive and personal, but we get asked a lot, how do you afford all
Financial Management for Big Families
00:23:51
Speaker
those kids? Oh, that is a good question. Well, in all honesty, we've been really blessed financially to not have to struggle too bad, but again, it's kind of like the time thing. You really have to pick and choose what's important. When we had two kids, we get out, eat out every week, multiple times a week.
00:24:08
Speaker
The effect is very much because eating out was like $17. And now when I take my family out to eat at the cheapest place imaginable, it's $60. And I'm like, okay, we can do that once a quarter. When my husband and I go out for a date, we're always like, he'll pass me the receipt and he'll be like, look at that
00:24:28
Speaker
total. Just both bust up laughing because it's less than $30 and we both ordered an appetizer and a dessert. I know. The only time my kids ever get good food is if I bring home leftovers and they're just dying. Did you bring home sushi? I'm like, what? No. You can't have sushi. You're a child. You can't appreciate good food. And there's too many of you to feed your own sushi. Sorry. No, but yeah, I think it's, again, just prioritizing, deciding, well, everybody can have
00:24:54
Speaker
Shoes or or food? No, not really. But you know, like I had dreams of having my kids and all the musical, you know, learning all the musical instruments and all the sports and all the dance classes. And it's just not realistic time wise or or monetarily. So we just pick and choose.
00:25:10
Speaker
Yeah, I think we're going to have to do an episode on kids and money, but also like moms and money, managing how we spend our time. And really, I think like, okay, so you can put your kid on a team sport or in our families, they can stay home and interact, go play kickball in the yard.
00:25:31
Speaker
kind of get the same benefits.
Benefits of Large Families
00:25:33
Speaker
Yeah, agreed. There are so many awesome benefits to having a bunch of kids around that make it so that you really don't have to do as many of the things as if you only had one or two. So that is the bonus and kind of the trade-off for having to pay so much to keep them alive is that they do have built-in playmates and they have a built-in soccer team and it's never boring and it's also never quiet. Did I mention that? Yeah.
00:25:55
Speaker
Oh, yes. Never quiet. So that is a little bit of an overview of Bonnie and Audrey, who we are, what we're doing here, and what we have to offer
Outro and Listener Engagement
00:26:04
Speaker
each of you. And I really hope that you tune in next time to the Outnumbered podcast and learn a little bit more about finding joy in the chaos of motherhood. We'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.
00:26:15
Speaker
Thanks so much for listening to Outnumbered the Podcast. You can contact us at outnumberedthepodcastatgmail.com and find us on Instagram at outnumberedthepodcast. We're so grateful for our listeners and would love it if you'd take the time to leave us an honest review on iTunes, Stitcher, or any other podcast platform. And don't forget to share the podcast with your mom friends. Can't wait to talk next time. Bye.