Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. We are experienced moms to a combined total of 19 children. In our weekly episodes, we explore relatable topics using our perspectives of humor and chaos. Tune in for advice and encouragement to gain more joy in your parenting journey.
Speaker: Hello, hello friends. Welcome back to Outnumber the Podcast. We are coming to you with so many mixed emotions right now with a farewell episode for the podcast. So we're just going to chit chat today, talk about some of our favorite memories, some of what got us here, where we're going, and just love on you guys because we have just loved our years of being podcasters with you.
Speaker: Okay. Yes. This is our, I don't know, grand finale and tons and tons and tons of mixed feelings, but we wanted to start with why we started outnumbered in the first place. And so I think we both came to it kind of generally from the same direction. And I know, um, in our, one of our anniversary episodes, it might've been like halfway through three years, I shared a very personal story about my exact reason why I was, um,
Speaker: called, moved, whatever, wanted to start a podcast. And so I think just in general for me, it was that I felt like I was getting asked many of the same questions over and over again and that I was coming into the understanding that like I had some experience that I could share as a mom of
Speaker: Um, I think I had seven or eight when we started the podcast. And so, um, I had some things that I could share and that I was being asked to share. And then because of different various experiences, feeling like very moved to share. So that was like my. Personal why on why we started outnumbered five years ago.
Speaker: Yes. It's so crazy how time has flown. And we just last episode was talking about protecting our kids. And I mentioned that we don't have to have a reason sometimes for doing things that we know are the right thing to do with our family. And I really kind of feel like that without number, I didn't have a reason. I just knew that it was the right step. And I'd actually been thinking about starting a podcast myself because they were
Speaker: you know, kind of becoming popular and more and more people were starting them. And I just thought, I don't know that I can handle that. First of all, my house is never quiet. Where would I record? What would I do, right? And then Audrey and all her infinite wisdom suggested and I thought, okay, I could do it with a co -host, right? Because we've been able to split the workload, which has been a huge blessing.
Speaker: And I feel like if we came out and told you guys all the behind the scenes that you would just be kind of blown away at how things have worked out for this podcast. Not the least of which is that just a few months before we started planning the podcast, I moved into a new house that had a separate workspace where I was able to record in quiet for several years until I had enough helpers to keep everybody from screaming. Although I know you guys still hear screams. I know you do.
Speaker: because they're there. We try to edit them out. But anyway, it's been a really great opportunity to see God's hand working in our life and obviously in your lives as well because we didn't do this podcast for us, although we do listen. It's kind of fun to re -listen to episodes and even learn from each other. But yeah, I think this has been a really inspired project for both of us in both of our lives and hopefully in all of your lives as well.
Speaker: So then, of course, that leads us to the next question, which is why we are wrapping things up. And this is a harder one to explain because starting a podcast is like, oh, yes, let's go put goodness out into the world. But endings are always hard. They're always hard. They're just so bittersweet. With every ending comes a new beginning, of course, which is exciting. But we have so many wonderful memories of recording and marketing this podcast, sharing with all of you and making friends with all of you that the ending is so, so, so bittersweet.
Speaker: I personally about six months ago started feeling a nudge to pull away a little bit from the podcast and I couldn't really figure out why. We brainstormed quite a few different things that we could do with the podcast and with you guys, different things that we could offer and realized that this was really
Speaker: kind of the limit of what we could do at this time in our lives. So as the year has come to a close, I've just realized that it's time for me to start focusing on other projects a little bit more. And I don't know why or what that's going to look like exactly. But again, just kind of feeling led to a new chapter in life.
Speaker: Yeah, I kind of feel some of the same things, but I also feel like I've said a lot. I don't know that I've said everything that there is to say or that I wanted to say or that I will want to say in the future.
Speaker: But I think that I have put, we have put enough content out there for five years, weekly for five years. I think we only had one repeat episode in five years. Like we re -aired one of our favorites. And so I feel like there's a lot that I've said and now we've answered.
Speaker: many, many, many of those questions that were asked repeatedly. And we shared some things that maybe people are afraid to ask. Like you mentioned our last episode on how to protect your kids. And we did episodes that were really hard for us to do like intimacy in marriage and the sanctity of life and things that we're really passionate about, but were maybe more hard for us to do. So like, I feel like maybe I've said everything that there is to say in a long rambling answer.
Speaker: I'm actually glad you said that because that was kind of one of my reasons too and I didn't bring that up, but I got to a point where it was like, we have a pretty awesome episode for just about anything that people come to ask me for advice on. Again, not saying that we've said everything there is to say or everything that we know, but both of us have a lot of experience through motherhood and I think that 259 episodes about sums up the vast majority of it, which has been
Speaker: So, so fun to put these into little package 30 -minute episodes for you guys and for anyone who is just feeling a little bit alone and a little bit overwhelmed. I think deep down you know that having a picky eater, for example, is not the end of the world, but it feels like it when your toddler hasn't had anything to eat for three days and you're not sure what to do next, right? Just to know that somebody else has been there.
Speaker: and to know that your kid will indeed survive, not only this year, but even to adulthood. My pickiest child is 18 now. I'm so proud of him. He made it. He eats everything now, so that's so great. Okay, so we thought we would share some of our favorite past episodes, and maybe these are some of you guys' favorite episodes too. So from 2019, I think one of my favorite episodes was about
Speaker: I can't decide they were all, like they're all so good. But mother's intuition, I think was one of my favorites because it was sharing something that was intensely personal, but I wanted other mothers to be able to know about and tap into.
Speaker: Oh, I absolutely love that one, too. If I had to pick one from that first year, though, I think mine would probably be survival time. And we refer to it like monthly. We talk about that survival time episode so many times. It is absolutely a classic when it comes to understanding why it's so impossible to shower sometimes in motherhood or like put food in your mouth. I think that's episode 20. So that is such a good one, too.
Speaker: Okay, so looking at 2020, looking back at 2020, I like all the episodes that we did. It's so hard to choose. But I really like, we talked about self -care and body image for moms, and we started to talk to moms about how to care for themselves. And I just love that because I feel like one of the things that I gained from this podcast was more confidence in being able to care for myself as a person.
Speaker: Wait, did you say two? Did you say self care and body image? That's cheating. One of those is going to be mine. I did. That's okay. That's okay. Actually, that year we started the smooth home management series, which I thought was a really great one too. If you're looking for like really logistical tactics to stop feeling like you're just pulling your hair out all day long and like get some systems in place, that was a really great series.
Speaker: Okay, 2021. I should let you go first on some of these because I know I'm picking some of our favorite ones. Okay. We started our marriage series in 2021. And I guess our marriage episodes are probably my favorite series because
Speaker: If there's no mom and dad, there's no family, right? So we talked about some amazing things. And I think both Bonnie and I have really amazing relationships with our spouses. And that was like a gift that we could share with you. Again, intensely personal things to share, but also like, I feel like I learned some things about relationships from some really amazing couples. And I don't think I have like a really amazing couple relationship, but if there's something that we shared,
Speaker: in our marriage series that I just really liked those episodes.
Speaker: Yes, for sure. Me too. Marriage ones are great. We have the super tactical, helpful, get a baby to sleep one in the beginning of 2021. But the other ones I was thinking about that I really liked are preparing to have a large family and preparing to grow your family, which were similar. But we basically just talk about all the things that we wish we would have known or that you could do now if you're starting your family or somewhere in the middle to get you a little bit more prepared to have a million kids and to survive it. I think those were both really, really great episodes.
Speaker: Ha, so you picked two this time. Yeah, I did. It's fine. 2022, we finally had the courage to put an episode out into the world that we wanted to put out from the very beginning of the podcast. Episode 193, we talked about what to teach our children in a post Roe versus Wade world, because Roe versus Wade had fallen. And we talked about what we teach our kids and it was
Speaker: One of my favorite episodes because we wanted to do it so long. Of course, you guys heard me refer many times to myself as a slow thinker, so I had a lot of time to think about that one, recording that one, what, four years in?
Speaker: Yeah, that was a great one and we got a lot of really, really great feedback from that. So we appreciate that from you guys, especially because it was a little bit of a scary one. We don't like to attract criticism if at all possible, but that's kind of lukewarm. So we did a lot of birth series episodes that year and we love, love, love talking about birth and we would do it all day every day if we could, even though now our memories are getting a little dimmer. It's been a couple of years since we've had babies now.
Speaker: But we love birth and we love talking about it. We talked about less pain, having a birth with less pain. We talked about having an intentional birth as well, which I recommend it as being kind of a great starting point to people who are
Speaker: want to have a great birth but don't know where to start because a lot of times people don't realize what the maternal healthcare system looks like right now. So that's episode 190 we highly recommend for new moms or anyone who wants maybe a little bit better birth next time. Okay, in 2023, we had a lot of guests actually, which has been so fun to get other people's expertise. I really loved episode 210, which was with our guest, Gemia, our friend who
Speaker: had her daughter pass away unexpectedly as a teenager. That was a really hard episode, especially because we know her personally. But it was also something that neither of us have had to deal with. And so I felt like it was a really expansive and eye opening opportunity for us and hopefully helped other moms out there that are dealing with a child death or know someone who is so that they can help out with grief a little bit because
Speaker: going through grief is a huge thing that cannot be done alone. Like we need to support each other, right? So I just thought that was a beautiful episode.
Speaker: Oh, I had so many favorites in 2023 too. It's hard to choose. We had our Got Kids episodes where we talked about some of the more negative traits in kids and how we dealt with them. And then, oh, I guess from the beginning when we were doing our series, we talked about different, like I think some of our most meaty episodes are all of our episodes in our school series. So talking about all the different subjects, like those are super meaty episodes. Like we just dove in.
Speaker: And we did a lot of research and learned a lot of things when we were doing those episodes too. But I don't know, I guess maybe if I had to pick just one, one from 2023, it'd probably be 258, the one that we did last week about how to protect your kids from predators. Because I feel like that one also was like a gift to you guys that we just really wanted to share from the bottom of our heart that there are things you can do and should be doing to help your families. And so I really like that episode.
Speaker: Yeah, I did too. The other thing, the other one I wanted to mention in 2023 was our interview with Leah Davidson where she taught us about the nervous system and how crucial it is that we become co -regulators with our children, right? So when our children's nervous systems are up in arms that we are able to help them regulate. And it was just something I hadn't learned much about before and thought it was such a beautiful tool for moms to understand why kids act the way they do and why we act the way we do sometimes when our nervous systems are, are going crazy. So that was a great one. Yeah. I learned so much from that episode for sure.
Speaker: So in thinking back over the last five years, there's so much that we have gained and we hope that you guys have as well. A few things that have...
Speaker: I've noticed in my own life over the last five years, well, first of all, we're not ones to toot our own horns, but can somebody just give us a little round of applause that we publish an episode every single week for five years, even while having three kids, we had three babies, right? We were pregnant, getting ready to have ninth babies when we started, and then I had a 10th baby, and lots of interruptions, lots of noise, lots of technical difficulties, always with guests. Oh, I don't know why always with guests, but anyway,
Speaker: And so, honestly, just the knowledge that I can do hard things, that I can put my mind to putting goodness out into the world and I can just keep doing it because it's something I committed to doing. Again, it helps when you have a very reliable co -host who keeps you on target and picks up the slack when you are a slacker. But I have a lot more confidence in myself.
Speaker: And, of course, a lot more skills, both technical and just speaking. I know I still don't sound like a professional podcaster, but I say I'm about a thousand times less than I did in 2019. I know. I was comparing how much we edit out in like 2023 as compared to some of those first episodes.
Speaker: every other sentence that we had some ums and ands and things to add out. I think we also just took our own advice and lowered our expectations, so there's that too. Probably. I think I have gained a measure of positivity and empowerment from doing Outnumbered for five years.
Speaker: I definitely feel more confident in what I have to share and the place I'm coming from and sharing it like a place of, yeah, I really do have some advice and some wisdom and some.
Speaker: like learning from my own mistakes and things to share from five years of podcasting, but from 25 years of parenting. And then just like some positivity. I was on a personal journey that started, you know, five, six years ago, probably about the same time to help myself become a more positive person. And I shared some of that as we went through the podcast, but
Speaker: It's kind of neat to look back five years and see that.
Speaker: I'm a different person from then and outnumbered as part of the reason why I think so. I've also gained a lot of friends from doing outnumbered for five years. You don't, I can't even count the number of times where I've been somewhere and someone's walked up to me and said, Hey, I listened to your podcast, which is really crazy and kind of humbling that somebody is listening to what I had to say. But then also like getting emails and getting phone calls and getting letters and
Speaker: getting messages on social media. But the ones that come through are from the people that reached out to us and said, you made a difference and what you said helped me. And like that, that's really cool. So I feel like I've gained a lot of friends from doing Outnumbered for five years.
Speaker: I'm glad you said that about the confidence in yourself. That's definitely been the case for me as well. You like to think that you're an experienced mom after you've been doing it for so many years, but until you try to put words to your knowledge, you might not fully understand just how much you know and how much you trust yourself to do. And creating these episodes has made me realize, yeah, we know a lot.
Speaker: And we have confidence in our abilities because we've been doing it for a while and because we choose to, right? Sometimes you can still be wishy -washy about your confidence because you just haven't chosen to be confident in yourself. And I think this podcast has helped us both be that way. And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't say that one thing I got out of this podcast was a new best friend because Audrey has been
Speaker: the mom mentor that everybody needs. Imagine for a second getting five years of being able to talk to a more experienced mom every single week about some parenting topic and sometimes I come as the expert and sometimes I come as the learner. Like, Audrey, what do you have to teach me this week because I'm losing it? Or just to reach out on Marco Polo and ask her tips for something or other. It has been wonderful to have this awesome relationship.
Speaker: Oh, you're so sweet. Um, I've learned things from you too. Like, um, a lot of self care things I've learned from you and like our episode on twins, like I'm like, I'm just here as the audience. I know nothing about twins. Oh, it's been great. So we wanted to talk a little bit about what we hoped you guys gained from outnumbered, five years of outnumbered.
Speaker: So my hope for the audience is that you guys are feeling what we feel and that's more positive, more empowered, more capable, more confident in your parenting journey, in your marriages, in your ability to care for yourself, in all the things that we talked about. Um, it's, that's like my biggest hope that if, um, if we reached out and touched you and helped you, like that's, that's what I hope our audience has gained from outnumbered.
Speaker: Yes, I agree. And I also hope that it gives you tools to help other moms, right? Hopefully, if you gain some benefit from an episode or two, that you're then able to share it with another mom. That you say, oh, you know what? You're having a hard time taking care of yourself? I've got an episode for you. And you're able to share it because this podcast is going to live on. As long as we can keep it online, we want people to be benefiting from it and sharing our knowledge and mostly our camaraderie and just kind of
Speaker: empathy with you that we get it. We've been there. It's hard, but there is a way through and it's better on the other side of potty training or whatever it is that you're struggling with. Um, so please continue to listen to the episodes that you haven't and to share your favorites with people so that we can help as many moms as possible, not feel so alone. Absolutely. If the influence of this podcast can keep going, that would be awesome. And like, that's kind of the next thing that we're going to talk about was our hope for your future.
Speaker: And I know that this future of the podcast, so just kind of technical detail here, we've got free hosting through Zencaster, which is amazing. So our podcast episode should be available for however long the internet lasts. And then also we're working on getting all the back episodes up on YouTube. And so there's two different platforms that they're on, so that might add to the longevity of.
Speaker: it out there, so just a little technical detail there.
Speaker: I know that our future audience includes our own kids as they're raising their kids and maybe even grandkids. I don't know how long this is going to be out there and how long it's going to last, but that's kind of an amazing thing to think about is about the posterity of this episode and this whole entire podcast. All of the episodes and our future kids may be listening to it.
Speaker: So thinking, I like to think backward, like what if I had five years of weekly advice from my grandma, right? That would be amazing. I would love that. I would like listen and certain episodes I listen to a lot. And I'm not saying that I'm super wise and have, you know, my kids or grandkids are going to want to listen, but maybe somebody out there would be touched and helped in some way by what we've shared over the past five years. That's like my hope for the future of this podcast, as long as it's able to remain out there.
Speaker: I love that thought. And you're a little bit closer because you got a couple of married kids. I'm trying not to think about that yet. My kids having kids, but it's going to happen sooner than later. Oh, it's coming. It's coming. It's crazy, but I love that thought. And I would also say too that some of my hope for those of you listening is that you can use our example of doing this project as an example for what's possible in your life. Like when we started this, we had
Speaker: zero clue if you're watching me on YouTube, big fat zero clue of what we were doing or where to start. And I know there are some episodes with terrible audio and some episodes with all these interruptions and some episodes where we lost the audio and we had to kind of reconstruct it. And we did it anyway because we knew we needed to. And so if there's something, some sort of push or pull that you're feeling to put goodness out into the world in some way or another, even if it feels terrifying and so out of your element,
Speaker: Just give it a shot. Why the heck not? And don't wait for somebody else to come tell you to do it like I had to wait for Audrey to push me in. But just give it a shot. What's the worst thing that could happen? So that's kind of my hope for you is that you can use our awkward bumbling example as inspiration to go out and do the thing you're feeling called to do.
Speaker: Okay, so that leads us to our future plans. What in the heck are we going to do with the extra time that we have now without recording outnumbered? Well, I personally have been feeling the call to go all in on my business. You guys know I've done a million different things over the years and I really feel like this stage of my entrepreneurial journey is like everything I have been doing is like culminating into this thing and this thing is
Speaker: is being a life coach to other coaches who are trying to launch their business. And I don't know why this thing in particular. I don't know why I'm having more success at it than other things. I don't know why I feel so called to it, but I'm super excited and I have some really, really big plans.
Speaker: Especially now that I'm at the stage of No More Babies, which is so weird and also so exciting to put a lot more heart and soul into this thing that is for me and for the world and not just my family because that's kind of all you do for many, many years is put everything you've got into your family, which is such a valuable contribution. Let it be said that, but it's kind of exciting to start something new too.
Speaker: I am so proud of you for that, that you're throwing yourself and all your energy and resources at what you are feeling a push to do. That's awesome.
Speaker: It's, it's kind of hard for me to put into words what's next for me, because I also am, um, retiring from project run and play, you know, that I've been doing that. So I'm not only going to have not outnumbered things that I'm doing, but I'm not going to have all the things that have been involved in project run and play. And this is kind of interesting to me because I have been feeling the call to slow down and scale back in a major way.
Speaker: Like, um, I don't like who I have become when I have deadlines and when I have goals and when I have, um, it not, not who I've become, but I don't like the parts of myself that I allow to.
Speaker: to be at the forefront or to be in control, however you want to say it. And so I'm really, really wanting to step back into a more quiet, peaceful, slow place. And I'm going to have the ability to do that. And both Outnumbered and Project Run and Play ending at the same time feel kind of like a sign from God that he's behind me in this call.
Speaker: Um, for example, this fall, um, I planted wheat in my garden for the first time and I'm going to learn how to harvest the wheat and make bread from it. I've been making bread for so many years, but now I'm going to take it from the whole, the whole circle process. And, um, I, I'm going to do some years ago, I set aside quilting because I just didn't have time for it anymore. And there's some half finished quilts that are waiting for me to come and
Speaker: and finish them and I can't tell you how long it's been since I've just read a book and gone outside with my feet on the bare earth and just read a book and slowed down and there's some things with my kids like I'm
Speaker: we're kind of, Bonnie and I are both split between these older and younger families, right? Like I have adult kids that are married and I want to be there and present for them in whatever capacity they want me to be. And then my younger kids, I want to still be there and present and involved and active and give them as good of a uprising, upbringing.
Speaker: and not uprising. I don't think you want that. No, please. Give them as good of an upbringing as I did on the first ones. And just like I'm just feeling so drawn to slowing down and watching the sunrise and
Speaker: taking long, slow walks. And my husband has some things that he'd like us to do together as a couple and as a family. And I'm just ready for that. I'm ready to open my arms and embrace all that. And it doesn't, in some ways, it doesn't sound like anything, but in other ways, it's really important. And I wanna be, like, I really feel
Speaker: I wasn't going to cry. I just really feel like I need to listen to this. I feel like I was telling one of my friends, I feel like there's something out there in the future that's coming that I can't see yet. And I need to be in a better place mentally and spiritually and just physically in my life.
Speaker: I just have a, like, I know you know what it's like to have a yearning. And that's where I'm being pulled. Well, that is so beautiful. And I love that you shared that. And I think that's a great second thought to my thought of hoping that the audience, those of you listening, will heed any call you feel to put yourself out there and follow something, but also equally to heed any call you're feeling to pull back.
Speaker: because I know we've talked about this before on the show that there are these this ebb and flow to life right and you know there are times when it is kind of a sprinting time or it's a jogging time or it's slow walk or it's even a curl up in a fetal position type of lifetime right that these different this different ebb and flow to life
Speaker: is there if we listen to it, if we listen to that mother's intuition, right? If we listen to God's whispering to us that we will be better prepared for what's coming, right? Maybe what's coming is a new project for you to expand your capacity. Maybe it's preparing for a new stage of life that's going to be harder than you anticipate. Maybe it's preparing to help someone in a way you didn't anticipate.
Speaker: There's just no way of knowing what life is going to bring us. So, heeding those little whisperings, I think, is so, so valuable. And what whisperings are more important than the ones that stay? Be home, right? And connect with your family. And don't forget, this is your number one priority. I love them.
Speaker: Yeah, I do have this very strong feeling that I'm going to look back five years from now. You know how I've talked the whole entire five years we've done this about the 20 year vision. And I know that I'm going to look back in five years, 10 years, 20 years, and really, really see the hand of God in it and be so thankful for the way that
Speaker: and time and everything about it. The time that it lasted and the time that it ended, I had this really strong belief that this is right and this is what it's meant to be. It doesn't make it any easier to end, but I have that strong belief. At the same time, I feel like there's this
Speaker: like curtain that I can't see through. Like there's a verse in the Bible, right? Like we see through a glass darkly and then when we go through it, then we see what's in it for us. And I just, I just have this Supreme peace and trust knowing that my future's in God's hands and, and that's the best place that it can be.
Speaker: And a great reminder that there really is limits to what we can keep up with in our life. I mean, we can really do anything we wanna do, but we can't do it all at the same time. And to be sensitive enough to know where our priorities lie in a certain phase, when the kids are little, it's almost always with them. When someone is going through a hard time, it's very often with them. If we're feeling unbalanced mentally or physically or emotionally, it's very often to come back and fix that.
Speaker: But yes, to listen and to acknowledge that our plans are not God's plans. And very often, I have noticed that God very often whispers to me and helps me want what he wants for me ahead of time, which is such a beautiful thing. If my head and kind of soul are in the right place, then I want what he wants. Otherwise, I'm kind of fighting against it until I realize, oh, this is actually the best thing to do God's will. But I love that. What a great reminder.
Speaker: So we wanted to tell you guys that you will be able to get in touch with us in the future, probably in a slower method than when we've been very present on social media and weekly podcast episodes and email. We'll outnumber the podcast at gmail .com. That email address won't go away, and Bonnie and I will still both have access to it and still both check it now and then.
Speaker: Um, and so if you have some urgent need or something that you need to get in touch with us about, please, please feel free where we're still here and we still have really, um, enjoyed these five years of connecting with you guys. And we would, we would still love to do that.
Speaker: Yes, it's always a wonderful day when we get either a new review or a personal email from one of you saying that an episode helped you or that you would love to hear advice on a specific topic. Obviously, if there's no more episodes, we can't do that, but we can always respond to emails and give you advice and inspiration. You can always come find us on our own personal Instagram accounts as well and send us a message there, but we sure
Speaker: just want to show so much love and gratitude for all of you who have listened over the years and made us realize that that we're doing something that matters and it's putting some more joy and peace into the world that's helping hopefully helping strengthen some families and we so admire all of you for the hard work you're doing in raising your beautiful babies. You guys thank you for listening to this episode as hard as it was for us to make and for maybe for you to listen to but we really really have appreciated your support
Speaker: listening to the podcast through the years and this year and this episode. And we just want to say that we love you and thank you so much for all your support. It has kept us going for five years and you guys are to thank for that. Thank you. Thank you. I guess that's it for this episode, not only for this episode, but for this podcast. I'm Audrey. I'm Bonnie and we're outnumbered. Thanks for listening, friends. Thanks for all your support.
