Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Good Traits: Peacemakers- How to get kids to stop fighting! {Episode 250} image

Good Traits: Peacemakers- How to get kids to stop fighting! {Episode 250}

Outnumbered the Podcast
Avatar
319 Plays1 year ago

Are you tired of your kids fighting?  Looking to teach you kids how to be peacemakers?  In this episode of Outnumbered the Podcast, Bonnie & Audrey discuss 3 ways to get peace: Internal peace, Family Peace (sibling rivalry anyone?) and External Peace.  Get a little peace and quiet in your life with this episode.

Be sure to check out Novalie: colorfully bold clothing for women!

Mentioned in the episode:

Episode 38: Sibling Rivalry

Episode 93: Teaching Values without Condemnation

Episode 170: Guest Rhonda Farr

Episode 246: Guest Leah Davidson

The Anatomy of Peace

The Comeback Song

About Outnumbered the Podcast:

Two moms, parenting a combined total of 19 kids and finding joy in the chaos.

Join Audrey and Bonnie as they share real parenting tips for real people through humor, advice and compassion.

Whether it's tackling how to teach kids to work or discussing where to turn when you're all out of patience, these two experienced moms are here to offer authentic tips for raising children joyfully.

Join us:

YouTube

Instagram

Subscribe to our emails here

Recommended
Transcript

Introduction to Episode 250

00:00:00
Speaker
You're listening to episode 250 of Outnumber the Podcast, Peacemakers. Today we're talking about finding more peace in our own hearts and lives and in our families, becoming peacemakers and also teaching our children to do the same. We're going to cover three main areas, finding internal peace for ourselves, finding more peace in our families, especially amongst those siblings that like to fight, and number three, finding external peace as we go out and spread it into the world around us. So let's dive in.

Meet Your Hosts: Audrey and Bonnie

00:00:32
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. We are experienced moms to a combined total of 19 children. In our weekly episodes, we explore relatable topics using our perspectives of humor and chaos. Tune in for advice and encouragement to gain more joy in your parenting journey.

Family Humor: Sibling Goodbyes and Word Mix-ups

00:00:57
Speaker
Hello, and welcome back to Outnumber the Podcast. We have a fun one for you guys today. We're going to be talking about peacemakers. It's going to help us a little bit, but definitely help our kids. I don't know if any of you guys have kids that don't make peace all the time. Weird, right? But that's today's episode. We're going to love it. If you have more than one child, basically you need to listen to this episode. Yeah. So speaking of sibling dynamics, I have this humor segment to start us off with.
00:01:24
Speaker
All of my kids were recently in town for a wedding. And one of them is working several states away and flew in for the wedding. And so that was great to have everybody. And as he was getting ready to leave, the younger kids come racing down the stairs. OK, we're going to say goodbye. And my 12-year-old shouts at the top of his lungs to his siblings that are still upstairs. Come on, it's time to say goodbye to the Virgin.
00:01:55
Speaker
Wow. And after the child who's 18, I should have said he's an 18-year-old male. That would be kind of ad context. After he and his 20-year-old sister got over dying laughing, they said, do you by chance mean prodigal? And he's like, oh yeah, I always get those too confused.
00:02:20
Speaker
Oh no, that's so funny. Yeah, I'm sorry. For a second I was like, wait a minute, was he talking about the, like for a second I thought you were saying, he was saying that to his sibling before getting married. I was like, oh, you know a little bit too much, but hilarious. Just a couple of biblical terms he missed. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. Like he doesn't probably know what either one of them means, which is why he messed them up.
00:02:46
Speaker
They definitely does know what virgin means. That's for sure. Kids are so cute when they mess stuff up, especially when they're older. That's hilarious. I know. I know. And they use all sorts of words that they've only read in books, but not heard before, and they pronounce them all sorts of wrong. Okay. That is my story of my life. I do that even as an adult. It's terrible. One of my kids recently was reading a book. My kids are always talking about bad words.
00:03:08
Speaker
They don't say them, but they're like, do you know what the this word is? You know, it's like all the neighbors told me this word. And I was like, oh, stop telling your younger sister. There's a this word or that word. Anyway, one of them just said mom. I can't remember what the word was, but it was something like husky or something that had like a hard syllable and just sounded like it could have been a bad word. Is this a bad word? No, no, that's not bad.
00:03:32
Speaker
It's not a bad word, but you never know. Depends on who you say it to and what kind of body image they have. Totally. Totally. It

Personal Peace: Its Impact and Significance

00:03:42
Speaker
can be. It can be like many things. Okay, so we're going to talk a little bit about peacemakers today. It's a very
00:03:49
Speaker
timely topic of course because we just live amongst so much contention and anger and especially with the conflicts in the middle east right now our hearts are just broken as people are horrible to each other governments are horrible to each other there's deception and anger and fighting and judgment and so many horrible things so even though people talk about world peace as a cliche we believe in peace in our homes and peace in our communities and that we can really really work hard towards that by teaching our own children how to be
00:04:18
Speaker
peacemakers and start healing some of the contention that is in our homes and around us. Yeah, so you think about it, the only way for the world to have more peace is for it to start at an individual level. And that is something that we can control. So we don't have control over world peace, really. I mean, I can't.
00:04:35
Speaker
talk to any government leader or anything and, you know, you know, foment peace or whatever. But there is a way for us to control and have influence over the peace in our hearts and in our homes. So how do you raise peace maker, peacekeepers, peacemakers in such a divisive world? So that's what we've been thinking a lot about. Um, and we're going to be talking about today.
00:04:57
Speaker
Yes,

Three Strategies for Peace Contribution

00:04:58
Speaker
we decided that the three main ways that all of us can help add more peace to the world are the following that we're going to cover. The first one is internal peace. We'll just tell you what that means in a minute. Another one is peace amongst our family, right? Probably what we're all here for. And then the third one is external peace with all those that surround us.
00:05:20
Speaker
Okay.

Internal Peace: Exploring and Achieving It

00:05:20
Speaker
Let's start off with internal peace. Cause that's the one that we can control. That is the only one that we can control. So internal peace. I mean, I don't need to explain this to you guys. You know what it feels like to have peace and you know what it feels like to not have peace, not be at peace inside yourself. And like the difference is.
00:05:40
Speaker
It affects you physically. It affects you emotionally. It affects you almost in every single way, whether you have internal peace or not. And so for me, internal peace is like, I know what to do. I know what I'm supposed to do to be right with God. And when I do that,
00:05:59
Speaker
And when I work on trying to do that, then I have internal peace. But when I'm at odds with, first of all, God, and then others, because he mandated peace with everyone, with others, then I have a lack of peace. I have that unsettled kind of uprising, both in my thoughts, in my emotions, in my feelings, in my heart, in my whole life. And so to me, that's internal peace.
00:06:24
Speaker
Yes. It's so interesting that we're talking about this today. I am actually filled with a lot of conflicting emotions today because I had a really hard day yesterday and had some unkind words spoken to me. It's been interesting to just kind of check and see, okay, where did I go wrong? What can I do now at this point, now that words have been spoken?
00:06:46
Speaker
We cannot control other people. We cannot control what's done or said to us, but we can control how we respond. And it is not easy, you guys. I spent like the whole night tossing and turning thinking, I just want to say this back. I just want to counteract with this. They're wrong about me. Yeah.
00:07:01
Speaker
There's going to be a lot of people wrong about us. There's going to be a lot of people that choose conflict over peace consistently, but we don't have to be those. And in order to have internal peace, like you said, Audrey, we have to be at peace with God and with the values that we hold. And then we also have to allow others to not be at peace. Like sometimes I've found myself just fighting to try to get someone to like me.
00:07:23
Speaker
You're going to like me, dang it. I'm going to show you that I'm a likable person. And that's just not possible, right? We're not going to convince everyone that we're great. And we're not going to want to spend time with everybody else out there. That's okay. We can all just do our own thing. But what I'm saying is we're only responsible for the peace within our own hearts. And it goes a long way. Our circles of influence can extend for a long ways. But it is a battle. It can be so challenging. So when you have peace, it is so
00:07:51
Speaker
motivating and inspiring to figure out how to have peace in the future. And this is actually something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about and cultivating. So the first thing I do to have more internal peace is prayer. So connect with my creator, connect with God and
00:08:09
Speaker
That's the source of peace. In the Bible, Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. That's one of his names. Where do we go for peace? First of all, I go to an outside source and ask for peace. Just ask for it. May I please have peace? I really need it today.
00:08:25
Speaker
I have studied peace in the Bible for a long time. I just recently did. It's a subject that I keep coming back to. So I recently dove down another rabbit hole on a study of peace in the Bible and it started with this.
00:08:40
Speaker
thought, there's a verse in the Bible that says, then will your peace be like a river. And so I was thinking about like a river and I'm going to share just a thought I had here about this. So like peace is something that's kind of contagious. And so you think about, I have been both to the headwaters of the Missouri and to the Mississippi River, which is the headwaters of the Missouri, which is where I grew up in Montana.
00:09:05
Speaker
and to where the Mississippi River dumps into the Gulf of Mexico. And the difference is astronomical, okay? So where it begins in Montana, in the mountains, you're like...
00:09:15
Speaker
This is going to be a river, this little tiny bit of water bubbling up out of the ground. And then when you see where the Mississippi goes into the Gulf of Mexico, you can barely even see across the Mississippi River at that point. It is so wide. And I love that picture when it comes to peace, because if I start with a little tiny grain of peace in my life,
00:09:39
Speaker
that can grow and grow and grow and even affect other people. Like you think about a river, how much life is sustained in a river and because of a river. And so that is like a recent study that I did on peace. So just studying peace helps me have more peace.
00:09:55
Speaker
And then I do like a physical thing that brings me peace is like yoga because it's balancing my nervous system and my thoughts and my emotions and then meditation too, like thinking about peace and all that. So those are some actual things that I do to help cultivate peace in my life.
00:10:14
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I love that analogy. How fascinating that. And that peace can grow, right? Sometimes we don't think that our own actions have much effect past our lives and our children's lives, but they really do. They have ripples. Just like anger and contention have ripples, right? Somebody can get angry and you feel it on the other side of town because, you know,
00:10:36
Speaker
kind of pass through people. Peace and love is the same way. It really is. And I love that thought that it can just go from this little trickle to a raging river and spread out so far. I also have physical things that I do to feel more peace. Just thinking about our interview with Leah Davidson, I'm constantly kind of checking in with my nervous system like,
00:10:59
Speaker
when i don't feel peace very often it's because my nervous system is activated right now i'm feeling like stressed or i'm feeling attacked or something like that and and physical exercise so great i'm glad you mentioned yoga meditating for me i like to do things that are a little more energetic i love going for a run that actually really centers me
00:11:15
Speaker
helps me get some of that aggression out. Sometimes I go I go towards anger when when I've been when someone has there's been a contention you know and that kind of gets some of that energy out for me but I love the prayer the studying of God's Word anything
00:11:32
Speaker
that can bring more peace into our life will allow us to move through us and us to channel it out as well. And you guys, we've talked about emotions before. We can't just hold on to them and just think they're gonna go away. We have to feel them. Even if they're emotions, we don't wanna feel anger or shame or frustration or whatever, and then allow ourselves to act out of peace.
00:11:51
Speaker
Like our episode with Rhonda Farr where she talked about the emotions we're trying to hide being like that beach ball we're trying to hold under the water. Yes, yes. I feel like my beach ball grows and one of these days I'm going to let go. It's going to shoot me out of the pool and across the neighbor's fence. We cannot push it down for sure, for sure. The other thing I'll say here is in this experience that I'm learning is,
00:12:12
Speaker
I try not to respond when my nervous system is still activated because I can't think, right? I cannot decide how I want to react in a way that is in keeping with my values and with what I think is right. And so I just don't. So it's much better for me to say nothing if I can't say something nice. And I just remain quiet for a while. If necessary, I'll say, guys, I can't talk about this right now. Maybe my children.
00:12:34
Speaker
Can we revisit it later on tonight after I've had time to think, time to breathe? This is hard for someone who thinks before talking. That's me. Audrey thinks, sorry, talks before thinking. Audrey thinks before talking. I talk before thinking. But to give myself a moment to relax, to find inner peace before I go spouting off and causing external chaos, right? So just really, really pay attention to what your heart is harboring. It takes all types. Usually I'm left
00:13:01
Speaker
like two hours later coming up with a thing I wish I'd said in my brain like, oh, I've only thought of that. OK, you guys, there's this hilarious song that my kids listen to. It's called The Comeback Song. And basically she talks about how somebody says something rude and she's like, oh, hold on a second. I've got it. It's coming. It's coming. Then 20 minutes later, she's like, oh, yeah, well, it's hilarious to listen to. I think that's good, though. That's probably good. You get yourself out of a lot of fights that I probably get myself into.
00:13:29
Speaker
Okay, so we are moving on to number two, second way of getting more peace, and that is peace within the family. So hard, siblings, fighting, kids, yelling. I think most of us moms, one of the top three things we want in life is just less fighting in the home. More peace, right? We have an episode specifically on sibling rivalry. It's number 38. We'll link it in the show notes, so that's a great place to start. But it is a challenge, and it will probably continue to be a challenge as long as you have children, period.
00:13:57
Speaker
So true. So true. I have been, um, so on our Instagram account, we share funny memes, parenting things that we come across and they're so fun and funny. But one of the recent ones I shared was about, you know, a parent saying, well, what they thought it was going to be like to have kids before I had kids. And then what I thought, what it's like after I had kids. And basically it's just him yelling, stop fighting, like constantly. That sounds about right. Yeah. Okay. So.
00:14:26
Speaker
how we teach and respond to our children, it has generational

Sibling Peace: Importance and Benefits

00:14:31
Speaker
ripples. And this also means we're being affected by how our parents taught and responded to us and how their relationships were with each other and with their siblings and with their parents. Can't you think of somebody that you know where they had
00:14:47
Speaker
a terrible relationship with their parents and now their children are having a terrible relationship with them, like if they have older children. That is the paradigm. So we have to examine our paradigms. Don't let it cause guilt. You're kind of, like we've said many times on this podcast, you have two chances at the parent-child relationship. One when you're a parent, one when you're a child. But just be aware that it is affecting you. It's
00:15:15
Speaker
What we want to do is reinforce how crucial it is to always work for peace. Something I say on repeat to my kids is, don't you want to be friends when you grow up? And then I say to them, your sibling that you're fighting with, fill in the blank their name, is going to be an amazing person when they grow up. And I know you're going to want to be their friend, but you have to start that right now. And then I say to the other sibling, your sibling, fill in the blank name,
00:15:43
Speaker
It's going to be an amazing person when they grow up and I know you're going to want to be friends with them, but you have to start that right now. I could like just record that and just play it like constantly in my house. You should play it at night when they're sleeping. That is the thing to do. I know some, what is it called? Some conscious, some little. It's just going to sink in there. They're going to wake up and be like, you know what? You're going to be amazing an adult. Want to be more fun?
00:16:07
Speaker
I'm going to try that, okay? Can't hurt. Can't hurt my health, yeah. Yes. And what a great perspective, right? As adults, we know how quickly life passes, right? And I now look at my siblings and think, these are hilarious people that I love spending time with. As a kid, I wanted to strangle them.
00:16:27
Speaker
My brother I would look at and just go, just feel anger seething. We were learning as kids how to manage our emotions. And they're adults now, and they're so fun. And it's like, oh, I love these relationships. These are so valuable. Conversely, I have seen relationships be torn apart.
00:16:44
Speaker
when the people were young and they never got repaired, right? And they caused some major damage to self-esteem and confidence issues. And, you know, we can, we, again, no guilt intended here, but we do have the power to shape our children's lives in how much contention and fighting we allow. And I don't think any of us want to allow it, but sometimes we just get tired, right? But we really, really do need to work for peace at all

Teaching Children Kindness and Empathy

00:17:12
Speaker
times.
00:17:13
Speaker
This ad is brought to you guys by Novalee. You all know we both love to sew our own clothes. Why? Because it's so hard to find cute comfortable and stylish clothes with enough coverage. So that is why I started Novalee four years ago. I wanted to give mom's cute colorful clothing options that were bold and fun but also kept us from flashing the neighborhood when we were playing with our kids on the swings.
00:17:36
Speaker
Novalee carries tops, bottoms, dresses, and more. But the most exciting recent edition is the Lettie Bra, a super soft, comfortable knit bra designed by our favorite Bonnie that you can wear under those lower cut tops or dresses that show a little more than you like. Yes, I'm so excited about this bra. It comes in black and white, and I wear mine pretty much any time I want to forget that I'm wearing a bra. I mean, can you imagine wearing a bra that you're not desperate to take off at the end of the day? That would be so great, right?
00:18:04
Speaker
Okay, be sure to check out novely.co for the latest in stylish, colorful clothes for moms. And go get on the newsletter to be updated on their next exclusive designs. So I'm reading the book, The Anatomy of Peace. I don't know if you guys have ever read it. Fascinating book. And one concept that they describe in that book is the difference between seeing other people as people versus as obstacles. And I thought about this for a second. There are certain instances in my life where I very,
00:18:32
Speaker
often see people as obstacles, like when I'm in a traffic jam, when I'm in line at the grocery store, I'm like, get, come on, move, move. I'm not seeing these people as human beings. I'm seeing them as annoying people that don't know how to use their blinkers, right? But if we can teach this to our children and say, stop, wait a minute, those people are also in a hurry to get home. These people are also trying to get their groceries and get back to life as quickly as can. In all instances, look for a reason to treat people like people. And again, this goes back to knowing that we really are all
00:19:01
Speaker
all equal in worth and value, we're all children of God, to come back to that and say, am I treating this person like an obstacle to something I want or like a human being? I really like that concept. My husband has a good way of helping me for years. He said, when I'm driving or when there's this impatient traffic thing going, he'll be like, oh, I bet that person and then he'll fill in this really ridiculous or emergency situation.
00:19:25
Speaker
And then it'll instantly bring understanding and a measure of calm to the situation like, oh, I bet they're on their way to the hospital to have a baby. And then everybody's like, oh, babies. And it's not all, would you get out of my way? Or why are you being such a jerk driving like that? Yes, yes. I thought of myself this week. We had another scary instance with one of my kids earlier this week. And I just thought,
00:19:45
Speaker
I'm probably not very nice this week. I'm probably impatient and yet I have I think a valid reason but nobody's going to know that you know on the on the road or at the store or if we could just always assume the best in people and assume that they are struggling with their own issues and we can we can help or we can hurt that by how we react. Okay this kind of brings us to our third area of peace that we want to talk about and that's external peace like
00:20:14
Speaker
how we can influence the piece around us. So we

Influencing Community Peace

00:20:17
Speaker
kind of, we definitely can control the piece in ourselves, internal piece. And we have a, I feel like a responsibility to set a right standard for family piece, sibling piece.
00:20:28
Speaker
But then there's external peace. What about everybody else around us? So we kind of already started on this one, but it's again what we teach over those who we influence. So like teach our kids that they are, and everyone around them is a child of God. Everybody has a soul is the way that we say it at our house. Everybody has a soul. And understanding everybody's, that they have a soul and their intrinsic worth,
00:20:55
Speaker
That's key toward treating other people peacefully. If you understand that there's this soul or the spirit world that everybody is a part of, maybe you have nothing in common with anybody else, but can you connect with them because you have a soul and they have a soul?
00:21:13
Speaker
Yes, it's so beautiful and a great reminder that we really are... Another thing we have in common, we're all here on Earth just trying to figure things out. And it is not easy, ever. I don't know anybody that's ever had a life and on their deathbed thought, you know what? That was easy. I'd do it again.
00:21:28
Speaker
Most of us are like, that was hard, but so joyful too, like to reach out with peace and love to everyone no matter how many differences we have is so powerful. One thing I want to say here is, and this kind of goes back to peace in the family too, but as it extends to teaching our children about going out into the world, we need to really watch out for habits of talking about or teasing others, especially due to differences. So it can be, for some reason, human beings love to connect through
00:21:56
Speaker
ostracizing others. That's why we have groups and cliques and very often in the clique they'll say, oh, have you seen so-and-so? She doesn't fit in with this group. I think it's just because we're tribal, but we don't have to be cruel in our tribalness. We want families, we want communities, but we don't need to ostracize others because they don't fit in. This is something that's very important and can very easily get out of hand at home where somebody says, did you see so-and-so? Why does their hair look so weird?
00:22:20
Speaker
Why do they look like that? Why do they wear that thing? Why do they do this thing? And very easy to jump in on it together and say, yeah, that's so weird. And it's our responsibility as parents to say, oh, that's just different, right? It looks weird to you, but how you dress and how you do your hair might seem weird to them. And, you know, exposing them to other cultures and other communities can be so powerful in letting them open their eyes and realize we are all human. We all have souls. We just dress and talk and walk differently.
00:22:48
Speaker
Yes, that is, that is such good advice for, I remember one time, probably a hundred times when my kids saw somebody who was just different from them for the first time, different skin color, different hairstyle, different.
00:23:01
Speaker
body weight, different whatever. And little kids very, very curiously have comments and they don't know what to think. And sometimes they say things quite audibly in public. And you're like, shut up kid. Talk about this at home. But you know, okay, that's all for people who are, that we can look at them and say, this person is trying to be a good person and live their life. But we're not whitewashing things here. We know that there is evil in the world and that there are people who are under the influence of evil.
00:23:30
Speaker
and seeking to do evil. So like, what do we do about them? We have a responsibility as parents as well to teach our kids values. And that includes what's right and what's wrong. And sometimes we look at people and we say, see something wrong. And we can use that as a teaching moment for our kids. How we do this, we talked about in episode 93, how to teach values without condemning others. That's a great place to start because we really dove deep into it there.
00:23:58
Speaker
just kind of in a nutshell here. It is okay to say, we don't do that. That is between them and God. This is what I tell my kids all the time. We don't make choices like that. We don't engage in that kind of behavior. But that is between them and God because, going back to where we started, they have a soul. And they have to answer for that soul to God.
00:24:19
Speaker
Absolutely, we teach our kids that certain actions are wrong and oftentimes those conversations start because of something they've seen someone else do or something in the news or something that they've heard someone else say or questions they have. Kids are so curious and so definitely, absolutely, we have an obligation to teach our kids the difference between right and wrong. We're not washing that at all.
00:24:42
Speaker
It's tricky to figure out, but you know what? If you have kids, this is one you're going to have to figure out because they're going to bring it up to you. It's not like they're forcing the issue. It's just that curiosity they just want to know, and it's our responsibility to teach them that.
00:24:55
Speaker
Yes. And they want to put people in boxes, right? We all do. We want to make sense of the world. And I'm pretty sure this is, I have 10 children. I'm pretty sure this has happened 10 times where they've learned about a young child has learned about smoking. And then the next person they see with a cigarette goes, Oh, that's bad. That's well, again, that's between them and God. And that is their choice. So loud, clear. Yeah. That's unhealthy. You're going to get cancer. Like, Oh, can we not?
00:25:20
Speaker
Okay, so yes, that is just socialization. We get to learn, teach our children, but so powerful that we are not saying that we relinquish our responsibility to teach our children the value set that we firmly believe in, that this is right and this is wrong. And then we get to deal with the children that go out and make their decisions that sometimes are in keeping with our value set and sometimes are not. And we always want them to know that we love them and they have a soul and we all get to make our own choices, right? But such a powerful lesson to teach kids early on.
00:25:50
Speaker
I also want to say here that I think it's an important concept to teach children how far, like we mentioned, that circle of influence extends, right? I can think of ways that someone speaking kindly to me has created ripples. Someone has known I've been having a bad day and has done something kind for me and that has then extended my kindness on, you know, just like we mentioned before. That can be a really fun activity actually is to, you know, kind of have an imaginative scenario where what if somebody did this and then that happened and that happened to see how far those ripples can spread.
00:26:20
Speaker
Um, because the same thing goes with when people speak unkindly. So such a, such a great lesson for little kids that are still learning the effects of their actions. Okay. So peace can be described as love or harmony. Like those two things, unity, right? Those things cause you to have all those good feelings wash over you. So, um, you can ask your kids to use there's, so there's a couple of questions I have my kids ask themselves, and this is helpful.
00:26:47
Speaker
for them to start thinking toward this being a peacemaker. So one is, how would I feel if someone else did this or said this to me? Like always turn it back on yourself, because kids are so narcissistic, which is just the natural state of a child, that they always think about it in terms of themselves. So you can use that as a tool to teach them, how would I feel if somebody said this to me or if somebody did this to me? That's the question that I always start with. And then another one is, will this thought or action
00:27:17
Speaker
increase love and harmony in the world or decrease it or in our family or with this other person, right? So will it help love, peace grow or is it going to just kind of kill it? Like peace is one of those things that just can be gone in a moment. I think we've all had that happen. And so it's so important to help our children learn how to cultivate it.
00:27:40
Speaker
You know, after sharing all these different ways of helping our children and helping spread peace, it just always comes back to the inner peace, right? You cannot be a peaceful, loving person on the outside if you are not a peaceful, loving person on the inside. So many times we will have war waging within us and think, well, I gotta be a good person. And then we're just kind of strong arming ourself into trying to put on a happy face. It doesn't mean we have to be happy and, you know, everything going right all the time, but it does mean that we always seek for peace.
00:28:07
Speaker
And frankly, I can be suffering and still be at peace. Does that make sense? Like I have had things that I've been grieving or problems in my life or things that I've struggled with, but if I'm coming back to that inner peace, if I'm staying in tune with God, if I am trying to keep living in accordance with my values, I'm still able to feel peace even while my life and the world around me is kind of raging. And that I think is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and to our families and the communities abroad is that inner peace and how it radiates out from us.
00:28:38
Speaker
Yes, I like to think often about the verse in Matthew 5, blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

Biblical Teachings: Jesus as a Peacemaker

00:28:46
Speaker
So I almost wonder if peace is a requirement for heaven. Think of the opposite. If an instigator or a troublemaker, is that going to be found in heaven? I don't think so.
00:29:04
Speaker
Another thing I like to do here in my final thoughts is I think about if Jesus was in a situation. Maybe the situation that I'm in, like what would he do? How would he have peace in that situation?
00:29:15
Speaker
Think about situations that Jesus was in and how he still maintained peace. A really great example of Jesus maintaining peace was when that time when they brought to him a woman that they had taken in adultery, like in the act of adultery, and they said, what should we do? And Jesus just stooped down and wrote with his finger in the ground. He said nothing. And they kept asking him. So finally, he stood up from writing in the ground and he said,
00:29:42
Speaker
whoever doesn't have any sin, let them cast the first stone. Because stoning was the consequence for adultery. And he stooped back down, he wrote in the ground again. And then everybody, like that, speaking of peace, having a ripple effect, everybody started looking within themselves. And from the oldest person to the youngest person, they all left.
00:30:00
Speaker
And then Jesus had a really good conversation with that woman that was left there and taken an adultery. And he was like, I don't condemn you, go and sin no more. I love that story because he not only had peace in that situation, his peace affected every single other person there. And I love that story. And I just thought, goodness, I have a huge long way to go, even on maintaining internal peace. But could I have such a level of peace that it could even affect somebody else? Man, I hope I get to that level someday.
00:30:30
Speaker
I've read that story a thousand times and it honestly just occurred to me that his reaction, well, I knew that it saved her life, but that it also saved all those other people from making a mistake and from judging. It just takes one instigator to create a conflict and it really just creates one peacemaker to give people permission to back down and to extend compassion.
00:30:53
Speaker
And

Conclusion: Bringing Peace into Life

00:30:53
Speaker
sometimes I think most of the time we will probably never even know the extent of the effort we put forth into creating peace, but you always know that it's going to yield more peace and love. So I love them. Well, all right, friends, that's the episode we got for you today. We hope this helps bring a little bit more peace and calm into your own mind and heart, and especially into your family's lives as well. So we'll talk to you next week. I'm Bonnie. I'm Audrey, and we're outnumbered.
00:31:23
Speaker
Thanks for listening, friends. Click the link in the show notes to subscribe to our email and never miss another episode. Show us some love by leaving a review on iTunes or sharing the podcast with a friend. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.