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16- Can Ivy Interest You In...Finding Your Personal Style?
22 Plays6 days ago
Charlotte's childhood friend Ivy Koelliker joins us on this episode to interest us in finding our personal style. All the fun, none of the baggage/shame!
A generational shared love of fashion (Hermes scarves and pirate shirts) and the move to a smaller closet started Ivy on the journey to research more about finding her personal style. She shares with us some tools and resources that have helped her along the way and gives us such a great homework assignment!
This is a process and will take time, which requires a bit of a mind shift and also makes it feel less daunting.
Allison Bornstein 3 Word Method Video
Indyx blog about some different methods of finding your personal style
Levels of formality video (Hannah Louise Poston)
Indyx App: https://www.myindyx.com/
Poshmark
ThredUp
Is this episode a perfect and totally intentional tie in to our Internal Family Systems episodes?
Check out Ivy's wonderful outfits @vineofivy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vineofivy/
Share our podcast with a friend, leave us a review, follow us on social, send us a message.
Logo design: Marielle Martin
Song: Upbeat Drums with Stomps and Claps by music_for_video
BlueSky: @canweinterestyouin.bsky.social
Instagram: @canweinterestyouin
Email us your interests! CanWeInterestYouIn@gmail.com
Website: CanWeInterestYouIn.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Unusual Hobbies
00:00:00
Speaker
You know that thing you love that your friends and family don't want to hear about anymore? Tell it to us, Patty and Charlotte. We want to learn all about your weird and wild obsessions or your perfectly normal hobbies that you've taken just a little too far.
00:00:15
Speaker
We want to dabble in your curious interests. Can we interest you in today's episode?
Meet Ivy Koliker
00:00:34
Speaker
Hi, Charlotte. Hi, Patty. I'm so excited to introduce you to my friend Ivy Koliker today. We grew up together. I think we met in middle school.
00:00:47
Speaker
really think that's right. Wow. That is a special friendship. It is. and then Now, like decades later, we're still in touch pretty regularly. I just saw Ivy not long ago. Luckily, she's got a job where she travels. So sometimes travels to this area and I get to see her, which is awesome.
00:01:09
Speaker
Oh, wait, was Ivy, did you get to see her new house? Yeah. Yeah, it's great. The yard is amazing, especially. It's so good. And all of the garden space, all of the vegetables and like random herbs that you're like, I don't even know what it is, but good.
00:01:24
Speaker
Yeah, it was very helpful that Ivy was there because there were some things that were just growing and she's like, oh, I think this is sage or I think this is whatever. And I had thought they were weeds. So it was awesome. You're like, don't pull that up.
00:01:35
Speaker
yeah Yeah, not just yet. Mm hmm. So Ivy's in the DC area in Alexandria, Virginia. that right? Yep. All right. Awesome. Hi, Ivy. Welcome. Thanks so much for being on podcast. Of course. I'm happy to be here.
00:01:52
Speaker
I'm big fans of you guys. Oh, thanks. Thank you. Well, and on that note, please, everybody listening, tell a friend and subscribe because apparently so subscribing helps people other people find us.
00:02:05
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, it does? Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good to know.
Exploring Personal Style
00:02:10
Speaker
You know, learning things. a Ivy, I know the only the briefest little bit of what you're going to talk about, and it was something that I didn't even know you were interested in, so I'm excited. What are you going to talk to us about?
00:02:25
Speaker
All right, so we are going to talk about, can I interest you in finding your personal style oh please do you see how I'm wearing a black shirt I'm wearing black pants I have black sandals on I was just talking to someone today at the Starbucks about why I have these glasses even though my dog has chewed them because I'm like I can't commit to like trying to figure out oh yes I I be pleased all right it's good it's very light-hearted and I want to like pre-save
00:02:58
Speaker
like, I know that this isn't, like, critically important, and there are, like, many things going on that are, like, stressful and not right, and we should focus our energy on that, but, like, sometimes it's nice to go on a little tangent and do something that's more fun, so I don't want to, like, make anyone feel bad or feel like if you don't want to do this that, like, it's terrible, like, I know this is, like, a minor thing for, like,
00:03:21
Speaker
people to play around with, but I like really like it. It's really fun. um And I've learned a lot and still have more to learn. So I'm interested to hear what you guys have to say about it. But um I have like a couple, I have some notes, but just kind of like I did a little research about it so I can share with you some different methods and like things that I think about as I'm trying to define it.
00:03:44
Speaker
um But feel free to like ask questions or be like, this is ridiculous and unhelpful. I have a question, which is when did you get into this? Like, ah and how did I not know? Since middle school. Yeah, no, no, totally. And like you said, you wrote that to me and the email and I was like, man, I really need to think about it. Cause like, I will say that I, for as long as I can remember, I've always,
00:04:16
Speaker
like love to use clothes to like express myself or like dress like kind of in different ways to like see how that like I don't know like how that like brings across certain parts of my personality like my favorite thing to do when I was little is my mom had like a like a big like trunk, wicker trunk, and she would like go to the thrift store and buy like things for like a dollar or like get extra clothes for when she was doing costuming.
00:04:44
Speaker
And I would just like play dress up and like put on fashion shows. I'm sure everyone was like, what is wrong with you? But I was like, this is like amazing to like put things together and like see how they go together. Like does this work or doesn't it? Or like what would make it better, you know?
00:04:59
Speaker
But I think it was like probably in the past, couple of me years. Yeah, probably like the past two years. Actually, maybe it's when we moved to this house because our apartment had like a massive closet and I had so many clothes because I always just like buy clothes that I like indiscriminately. I'm like, oh, that's cute. Let me buy it.
00:05:21
Speaker
And then like a year later, it's like in the donation bag. And like, this is not a good, pride like this is a waste of money. And like, you should not be doing this. And then moving to this house, it's like built in the 50s. There's not a lot of closet space. So I was like, I need to winnow this down.
00:05:34
Speaker
and like really focus in on what I want to have.
The Three-Word Method
00:05:38
Speaker
So I started like kind of watching some YouTube videos and reading about it a little bit. And there were like a few, I mean, there's so many people out there like doing videos about like, how can you find your personal style? How do you minimize your wardrobe? How do you dress like a minimalist? Like those kinds of things.
00:05:54
Speaker
So I kind of like took some parts of each one and started to kind of work on it so that I was not like, Kicking poor Adam out of all of the closets so that I can put my clothes in there, but also just like better, like for your wallet, better for the environment to like, not be buying a bunch of new things and like getting rid of them and like really looking more at like, what are the things I should focus on that best express like my personality through clothing.
00:06:27
Speaker
i but bernie I still fall into the trap of like, oh, I really like that and buy it. And I'm like, I have like literally a pile of clothes on the floor behind me that I need to bring for donation. i was like, this is so bad, but at least now I'm more focused. So I like know what I need to kind of move out of here, you know?
00:06:43
Speaker
So I would say, sorry, that was a long winded answer. Probably like the past couple years, it has been like more of a focus, but I've always like enjoyed messing around with clothes. but And I forgot that your mom did costuming. And so i could see where that would really like start. And my grandmother was a fashion designer in the fifty s in Switzerland.
00:07:07
Speaker
And she worked at Christian Dior in Paris, which I didn't even realize until much later on. Because I was like, oh, I knew she did like fashion design. But like she literally worked for Christian Dior. was like, this is great.
00:07:21
Speaker
I wish she had some of her vintage 50s Christian Dior stuff still around, but I think it didn't make the move to America. so Imagine. Wow. She did leave me like two of her Hermes silk scarves from like the 50s and 60s and like I'll sometimes wear them. It's so nice to have them. they're really It's like great. It's really cool.
00:07:40
Speaker
That's like a hug from her. like Yeah, it's so nice. It's really good. And like, she would never wear them. I think probably they were like too precious. And she was like, I'm not just going to wear it around. And I definitely fall into that trap where I'm like, oh, I really like this. But like, it's so special. I don't want to wear it and ruin it. So it just like sits forever. So now I'm like trying to like wear are some things I wouldn't normally pick out, you know?
00:08:01
Speaker
Yeah. So what kind of costuming did your mom do? Oh, just like at the, um, but like the local community theater she would do like costume design so she she like she can sew like pretty well and um she would like either do that or like you know go to the thrift store go shopping to like find specific costumes but like she also had a business for her own business for like a short period like the mid-2000s where she made like pirate shirts and pirate hats and
00:08:32
Speaker
And that was like right when the pirates, right before the Pirates of the Caribbean movies like got really big. So she was doing it like just before and then her business like exploded because everyone got super into pirates.
00:08:43
Speaker
She made like some of the coats for like Captain Morgan ads and stuff like that. But then it like the business kind of like fizzled down a little bit. But she was doing pretty well there for a while.
Techniques for Defining Style
00:08:54
Speaker
um But it's just like, you know, to be like the trend.
00:08:57
Speaker
ah had She knew it. She knew it it was going to be popular. I don't know how, but she knew it. or she would do like some like renaissance fair stuff too so i feel like that style is like a little similar like to go and like sell that kind of like style of shirt at the renaissance fair you know but what from seinfeld right wasn't there like yeah the puffy shirt literally that that's like exactly it that's correct that's so funny yeah I always just thought that you were naturally like, like very fashionable without, and and it's nice to hear that there's like work and thought and like that, that's, you know, that you're putting into it and then like looking for your personal style. Cause I'm on the same, in the same boat as Patty, where I'm like, I just, I rely like a lot on like my mother Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker
yeah Like, you know, I'll, if I go shopping with her and she chooses something, usually that's what I get compliments on. And then if I choose something, nothing, but it's comfortable, maybe but got it.
00:10:07
Speaker
That's, that's my style. I need help. And sometimes you have like a little bit of a different style from your parents too. So like, you're like, well, I know they'll like it and they bought it for me and that's great.
00:10:18
Speaker
But then you're like, is it like really me or is it like more them? So like, using it as a way to kind of like show yourself, you know, it's like getting a tattoo or like a piercing or like having a bumper sticker. It's like all different ways to like show yeah kind of your personality. This is just like using clothes to to do it. And I, I feel like it's almost like,
00:10:41
Speaker
it's better because it's like, it's not permanent. So you can like, kind of like be like, oh, does this like express my personality? And like, you even have to leave the house. Like you can just wear it around the house for the day. And you're like, oh, this is not for me.
00:10:53
Speaker
Or like, oh, I actually feel okay. Like maybe I'll go to the grocery store wearing this and see what I think about it. You know? So it's kind of like, it's like a lower risk way to do it unless you're like,
00:11:04
Speaker
I'm going to be the Chanel girl and you buy like a new Chanel bag every day, like that would be a problem. But you know, like a shirt or like getting a shirt you like, but in like a different color, just to like see if it works for you. That's not so, it's not like a heavy lift, you know? So it's kind of an easy way to do it.
00:11:22
Speaker
So would you say that like, do you have a strong personal style, like, like, if people were to be out, they'd be like, Oh, my gosh, yes, that's such an IV.
00:11:34
Speaker
Like, that would be a total IV outfit. Or is it kind of like, it's, it depends on where you're going and how you feel. And it's more like, what, what kind of drives that? Because when you said, Oh, yeah, I don't feel comfortable in that, or that's not my style. I'm like, so confused by that myself. Cause sometimes I'll be like, that is so cool, but maybe not for me or like that looks great, but wouldn't look good on me, you know, or things that I like don't necessarily all fall under one category.
00:12:03
Speaker
yeah Yeah, no, I get it. And like that, I think that was the hardest part for me. Cause like there's realizing there's a difference between what you like versus like, what is your personality? Yeah.
00:12:16
Speaker
And like, that seems like it would be the same thing. But like, I like a lot, like if I go to like, Urban Outfitters website or like Free People website. Like I like a lot of the clothes there, but like, I'm not like a bohemian person.
00:12:32
Speaker
Like that's not my vibe, you know? So like, I like the flowy, like tiered maxi dress with lace. I'm like, oh, that looks so great. And the model's like in a field, like running. And then immediately I'm like, oh, I want to buy that. But then if I like having gone through this and like thinking about it, I'm like,
00:12:47
Speaker
No, that's not your personality. Like, yeah, it looks great. And like, maybe I could pull it off or maybe not, but I would always feel like I'm wearing like a costume rather than like I'm wearing clothes that I express myself.
00:13:00
Speaker
you know? um And like, maybe that's, you know, maybe that's fine. And like, some people absolutely do that. And I think like, that's great. Like if that's how you want to use your clothing, but like, for me, if I'm thinking about, you know, I'm like in my mid forties. So like, maybe I should like not dress like I'm a 22 year old girl, but like, what are the aspects of that dress or that style that maybe I can incorporate like a little bit of it, or like, maybe that needs to be something.
Practical Style Considerations
00:13:26
Speaker
And I'm like,
00:13:27
Speaker
Keeping in the back of my head like I like that bohemian style I don't want to be like all boho but maybe like wearing my grandmother's scarf is a way to like bring a little bit of that in or bring in like one thing that's vintage or like a Like bag that might be more bohemian with like a more buttoned up look or whatever that is But this is a good segue. This was great. So one of the things that like I kind of first learned about is ah It's like a theory called like the three word method. So you basically find three words that define your personal style.
00:14:02
Speaker
And like a lot of a lot of different stylists or like fashion people like have slightly different methods of figuring out what those three words are.
00:14:14
Speaker
But the one that was like the most... helpful for me is from a hall lady called Allison Bornstein. She's a, like a celebrity stylist and she has a lot of videos on Instagram, on YouTube. And like, she also posts on Instagram. So you can kind of like see different advice and like recommendations that she gives.
00:14:31
Speaker
And then um I think she also like does do personal styling if I'm sure it's like incredibly expensive, but if you guys really want to go out on a limb, you can do that. um But her method is like, Take like the, to find the first word is take the, like physically take the pieces out of your closet or out of your drawers that you wear the most often.
00:14:52
Speaker
So it's like, not the things you like the most, it's what do you wear most? And like, put them out on the bed and look at them and say like, what is like a word that kind of describes these things that I wear the most often.
00:15:05
Speaker
So it's not like what you want to be. It's not your favorite things. It's just like, what do i reach for the most? So it might be like, okay, I'm getting like jeans and a t-shirt, like almost all the time. So maybe that's like classic style or like laid back style or you know, whatever, whatever word you want to use to describe it.
00:15:26
Speaker
Maybe it's like sweatpants and a shirt, a sweatshirt, because you like are working from home and like most of the time you just want to be comfortable. Well, then like your style word is comfortable. Like that's something that you defines your style as being comfortable.
00:15:39
Speaker
Then like for your second word and this like one kind of, I don't know that I've really figured it out yet because I don't keep like a Pinterest board and I don't like really like save like aspirational images or anything. But like if you guys do Pinterest or even on Instagram or even like people that you might follow or like say like a like a clothing brand or something and you enjoy that style, it's kind of like what you aspire to, you know? So for example, if you like had a Pinterest board and for like a couple weeks, you're like, I'm just going to save images of like people wearing things that i like appeals to me, you know? So look at that at the end of it and say like, what is the word that defines that kind of more aspirational? it's not maybe what I'm wearing every day or reaching for the most, but what are the things that I'm putting on my Pinterest board? So maybe it's like,
00:16:28
Speaker
lots of people in like leather jackets and combat boots or whatever. And then you're like, Oh, maybe edgy is my aspirational word or like rock and roll or something like that. So you can kind of start to see what are you wearing now versus like, where do you maybe want to go to with your style or what's something that you kind of gravitate towards?
00:16:45
Speaker
Last one is how do you want to feel? So do you want to feel comfortable? Do you want to feel put together? Do you want to feel polished? Do you want to feel professional? do you want to feel fun? Do you want to feel quirky? Like whatever that is.
00:16:56
Speaker
So it's like, for me, like a good way to start thinking about it. But even for me, when i did that, like, i don't know that I like quite got to the place that was like satisfied. It's like kind of, you still kind of have to work on it and maybe think about it. And the the one thing that like most of the three word methods talk about is that it's not like ah it shouldn't be like a permanent thing like you shouldn't be like okay like I am these three words and I can't ever be anything else like your personal style can change you know and like what you like or just like might change over time but you do want to kind of like pick words that aren't like just associated with trends that are happening that you happen to like you know like now skinny jeans are like out so you don't want to be like oh skinny jeans is my personality and then like you have to change it just because it's like not the style anymore um or like you feel you need to change it because it's not the style anymore the other way that I and this is like I please like I don't want this to turn into like an ad for this app it's called index I-N-D-Y-X but I like adore it it basically is you remember uh
00:18:08
Speaker
the movie Clueless when Cher has like that computer. It's basically that. So you like you have to like take pictures of all of your clothes and it like stores it in the app. And then every day you can like put your outfit together from your own clothes and like put it on a calendar or you could take like selfies.
00:18:25
Speaker
So if you like... um I've been tracking like what I've been wearing. Cause that's also helpful to just like, look at what, um hold on. I'm trying to find it to like, look at what you've been wearing. I don't know if you guys are going able to see it.
00:18:40
Speaker
So like, this is like the month of May. It has like all of my outfits for each day of May, but like, it's really helpful to like go back and look at it. Cause like, I'm looking at this now and it's like black, green, blue,
00:18:54
Speaker
white with stripes like that's the only thing i wore basically like the entire month of may but like that's very clarifying to me like oh these are the things that i like to wear so like what does this say about me you know and like do i want to incorporate something else or is this like this is fine like this is where i'm at you know but the other thing that they have in the app which is free you can pay more for certain things but like i don't pay for that extra um is do like a style quiz and they have like a whole list of style words which for me was really helpful. Cause I'm like, I feel like Charlotte, you'd be good at thinking up your own words cause you're a writer, but like, I'm not, I'm like more of a visual person. And like, for me to think up three adjectives that describe me as like very challenging. But if I see like a whole list of words, I can be like, oh, these are the things that I want.
00:19:43
Speaker
So I did the freestyle quiz that they have and came up with some style words for myself, which was helpful. Um, Can you share what they are? Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:19:55
Speaker
Hold on. I need to find it. That's the main problem. It's so interesting because that explains to me that like, I go on Reddit and, you know, for a while I was on the like one bag Reddit, like some Reddit for her.
00:20:07
Speaker
And people would always have those like little something like pictures of like their outfits laid out. And i'm like, how do you do this? There's an app for that. Yeah. It was also like extremely helpful and this is not the intended use of the app, but I was like meeting Adam at a restaurant downtown and I was like, it's kind of cold. I need him to bring me a sweater so I could like send him a picture of the exact sweater I needed, which was great.
00:20:32
Speaker
I was like, it's this one, it's on the left side of the bottom. He's like, I know which one you're talking about. I was like, okay, thanks. Yes, so the words that the style quiz gave me were minimalist,
00:20:47
Speaker
classic and romantic. And i disagree with romantic entirely, but I think that's because of my like free people girl wearing like a prairie dress running through the field. I think some of the images that I selected spoke to that, but in looking at their words, I changed the last the last one romantic to unexpected because like, I do like to like have like a pop of color,
00:21:13
Speaker
or like a whimsical handbag or like a whimsical piece of jewelry or something with like a more like neutral classic outfit. That's just like where I feel most comfortable. I don't want to be like boring, but I also don't want to be the person that's like, yeah, I have like 80 different colors and patterns, you know? And like, I love that. I think it looks great. And I like follow a bunch of people on Instagram that dress that way.
00:21:36
Speaker
But it's more like for my own inspiration to see like, okay, that looks great on them. Are there like parts of that style that I could incorporate for myself rather than like buy that exact outfit and try to wear it, you know?
00:21:48
Speaker
Having recently seen you, I think that those three words are perfect. that I mean, just I'm like- Love it. Remembering. That's good. That means I did it right. And even when you said romantic, I was like, eh.
00:22:00
Speaker
But yeah, and that was what you were thinking. That's good. Okay. That means it's working. If that's my personality, then I'm glad I can express it well. Well, that's your look, you know. That's my look. That's your look of times I've seen you recently. Yeah.
Expressing Identity Through Style
00:22:15
Speaker
absolutely i was I was also thinking, like, i I feel like the word practical is probably in there for me too, because, like, I don't like a lot of embellishment. Like, a lot of times, if you, like, watch the videos about, like,
00:22:29
Speaker
shopping your closet and styling clothes you already own to like not buy extra things. They'll be like, use accessories or like add more layers. And I'm like, I'm like a sweaty person. Like I do a lot. Like I'm like traveling through the airport or I like to cook and things like, I just don't want like a lot of bulk on me and like layers. I don't want to like have to clean eight shirts because I layered eight shirts on top of my body, you know? So I think there is like an aspect of like, for me is like,
00:22:57
Speaker
how can i feel good, but dress for like the day that I'm going to have, you know, like if I'm going to the airport, I don't want to be like, in stilettos and like a skirt, like running through the airport. Like that would be great. And in my fantasy, it's like, oh yes, I'm wearing a beautiful suit and my heels and like wheeling my luggage through the airport. But like in reality, that would be terrible and would like hurt my ankles. So like, what are the sneakers that I can wear? What are the pants I can wear that are gonna like make me feel minimalist, classic and unexpected, but like not be crazy impractical, you know?
00:23:33
Speaker
Yeah. It is interesting. So like I, when you said you're like more of a visual person, i am so not a visual person. And I feel like that is such a barrier because it's kind of like being able to even visualize like that unexpected. I love when there's something like that, where it's like, it's not the whole outfit, but it's like, oh my God, that's such a cool twist. Or like, you know, my niece, she's only eight, but I swear to God, like she'll pull out her outfits in the morning. And I'm like,
00:24:02
Speaker
Ooh, Layla, I don't, and then she puts it on and I'm like, awesome. Like I would have never put that together and you look awesome. Some of it's that she's eight and she's adorable, but some of it I think is that there's that style that like you just innately have.
00:24:17
Speaker
So do you think that that's something that you can kind of like ah a muscle or a skill you can grow by practicing these Yeah, i I do think so. i do think so. I think it's more like it's more like not having the vocabulary. Because like I think if someone asks you to like describe your personality, you could do that. you you know So it's like, o how are you going to turn those words that you might use to describe your personality into like a physical expression of it?
00:24:56
Speaker
Yeah. um There it was another method and it's funny because I like wrote down Charlotte would be good at this. So it's by this lady who's from like the fashion house
Body Type and Color Analysis
00:25:06
Speaker
Tibby. So she also says like do come up with three words but they her method is probably like a little more it's a little bit less flexible because you're supposed to do it like more based on your personality.
00:25:21
Speaker
ah Just like I was saying so like what are the things that define you as a person And then like, can you manifest those through your clothing? So her method was like, look at some quotes that really inspire you, or you think describe you well, or quotes that you like, or things that are you know, kind of like, did I say inspire? Yeah, things that inspire you.
00:25:45
Speaker
and I was like, this is terrible. Like, I cannot do this task. Like, I need to look at pictures of clothes and say, like, this is me and this is not me. But I can see, like, if you're not as much of a visual person, that doing it more in, like, a language way could help you say, like, oh, yeah, this quote speaks to, like, I want to be bold, you know? And that could speak to, like, how do you want to dress? And, like, what are the what are the clothing styles or the pieces or, like,
00:26:13
Speaker
the structure of the clothing, the color, like what says bold. And you can kind of go down that pathway and see if like explore that as like, is this something that's like helping me feel more like myself or like expressing my personality?
00:26:26
Speaker
And I do think about, um you know, cause I'm a therapist. And so I end up meeting with a lot of people one-on-one and a lot of new people. And i think i I need to consider more what my clothing is saying about me. Hmm.
00:26:41
Speaker
and And I go to nursing homes, I go all over. So like it's saying something whether I'm trying to or not. And so it's and probably important for me to put a little more intention behind doing that.
00:26:57
Speaker
Because right now I think what it says about me is um i like comfortable pants and I like to wear them over and over and over again.
00:27:10
Speaker
But like for you, like comfort, but if that's the case, like comfort can be one of your style, work like one of your style words, like yeah that's fine. That doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be like sloppy or lazy or look like you don't care. it just means like, what are some things that I can do to be comfortable with the clothes? Like what kinds of clothes like might be like professional, but comfortable, you know?
00:27:37
Speaker
Or like, how can I bring that comfort in? Like for me, I don't like when things like are too tight, like on my waist, especially But like, you can start to look like, I don't need baggy, like low slung pants either, like dragging on the ground. Like that's not great.
00:27:52
Speaker
But like finding things that have like a little bit of stretch in the waist, like, or like there's a ton of like really like nice professional, like just pull on elasticized waist pants. And if you wear like a shirt that covers that a little, it is great. It looks very professional, but you're not feeling like compressed all day long, you know? So like knowing comfort is important. You can kind of like look for clothing that is comfortable, but maybe, and you know, I mean, i think it's fair to say people will look at your clothes and make some assumptions about you. And I don't, I don't want like, that wasn't like, I don't want to like say that you're doing this personal styling thing to like make other people think something about you. It's like more about yourself and like how to express your personality.
00:28:35
Speaker
But I totally agree. Like I go see clients all the time and like, I don't want to roll up and like rip jeans and like, grody old sneakers to be like, hey, I'm here to like help you out. they'll be like, no, you don't like know what you're doing. And like, you have to kind of think about what is like, good for the read the room, you know, like what is good for the situation you're you're going into.
00:28:56
Speaker
I did recently like decide that those types of elastic pants, ah elastic waist pants are going to be a key part of, I wasn't even thinking about personal style, really just thinking about, Oh, these are a thing now more than maybe than they used to be, at least that I yeah didn't know about it. So yeah, they're going to be a very important component.
00:29:18
Speaker
Oh my God. I got, I got two pairs of those when I was doing like my trip in Europe, like I was gone for 10 days and I wanted to, pack as little as possible.
Sustainable Fashion Choices
00:29:28
Speaker
And those were key. And I had to also just get over, i think part of it So yeah, i I was wondering, like one of the questions I wrote down when you were talking and it ties in nicely with Charlotte, you just saying like, because I'm a therapist, it's like, it feels like there is some internal work that also might have to go along with this for some people. Cause it's like, it's interesting to say like,
00:29:53
Speaker
it's, you know, like expressing who you are. And so like, in some cases, me, um figuring out kind of like doing some work to figure out like, well, yeah, what, what who is that, you know, might be who i required. Yeah. yeah And, um and then the other piece for myself is like, okay, I'm in a body that, you know, i just accepting that and then dressing for the body that you are in, you know, and kind of coming to terms with like, okay, that might not, you know, look the way that you wanted it to, but is it, is it flattering what you're dealing with right now, you know, versus like, yeah whatever. So just having that shift.
00:30:39
Speaker
Yeah, totally. Totally. And that was actually like the, beyond like the three word method, there's like a bunch of other things that I kind of like watched videos about or like thought about and learned about as I was like continuing to develop. And one thing that comes up a lot is like body type analysis. So there's this guy, I can't think of his name. I think it's like David Kibbe. He had like a body type analysis for only for women, of course, in the 80s.
00:31:07
Speaker
And like, Basically, he and his wife are like the only ones that can like technically define your body type. So it's like, not like really, I feel like it's like not really a thing.
00:31:18
Speaker
But it is kind of a thing if you like read about it from like more of an informational standpoint, because like, I think when you get into saying like, are things flattering? Or what is your body type like that can get like very,
00:31:31
Speaker
dicey and like very upsetting. So it's like, to me, i think there are things that are more flattering on certain people than others or certain body styles than, than others. But like, that's my opinion. That doesn't mean objectively that it's not flattering, you know, or like, I might think like, oh, I don't look good in this, but like, Adam might be like, babe, you look great. You know, I, you know, I, you kind of like have your own perception of how things look on you. But as I was like doing more learning about it It's not to me, I don't know that I would say flattering, but it's like a comfort thing. Like if I wear something like objectively, like it might look good on me, but I don't feel comfortable in it because it's like showing off my shoulder. And like, I don't like to do that. Or like, it's like emphasizing the fact that I have like a bunch of zits on my chin and I don't want to emphasize that. And like, really like who cares? Like, but I feel uncomfortable. So then you kind of like, don't feel comfortable wearing the thing.
00:32:28
Speaker
Like I'll use myself as an example. I have like an extremely long torso, like very, very long. So like I cannot wear a cropped shirt without showing like four or five inches of my belly. Like it does not work.
00:32:42
Speaker
And the style now, like it's a lot of like, crop things are very popular. And I'm like, oh, that looks so cute with like a high-waisted pair of pants. And you have like a little crop shirt. And like, you just are showing like a little sliver of belly in the summer, like adorable. But on me, it's like five inches of belly. And everyone's like, what is this wrong with this lady? I'm sure like no one cares, but I feel uncomfortable because I'm like, I don't want to like show that much skin when I'm walking around. So you kind of have to like I don't know, like I have to keep reminding myself of it because that's a case of like, I'll look like at clothing on a website and be like, oh, that shirt looks so cute. And then I see crap and I'm just like, nope, I'm not even gonna go. Like, I'm not gonna look any further.
00:33:21
Speaker
So like now that I know that about myself, like I don't buy it, you know, and put it on and I'm like, just hangs in my closet for a year. And then it goes to like the Salvation Army, you know? Yeah. Like it's like a way more to like know what you're comfortable in and what what level of like,
00:33:40
Speaker
For my example, like how much of your belly are you willing to show? Like, is it a lot or a little? Like someone else who has the exact same body type as me might be like, yeah, my abs look great. Like I'm going to flash them all over the place. And like, that's cool. You know, not to say that like you can't wear it. It's more, i don't feel comfortable wearing it. And no matter like how much I try to get comfortable with it, because it's in fashion or I want to like that style, like I know I'm never going to like get over that hurdle.
00:34:05
Speaker
So it's ah more a way to like, no, this is not an area I should explore. a And I think for like women, especially at like gets, you know, as you get older, like hormonal shifts and like body change, like it just happens. And even like month to month, your body can change pretty dramatically. So like trying to find a style that works for you kind of no matter what. And it's not like you don't like feel bad opening your closet and you're like, Oh, maybe if I lose five pounds, I can wear those pants. Like just get rid of them. It's fine.
00:34:35
Speaker
You know, buy new pants if you need to buy new pants, but like, don't like have a piece of clothing in your closet that you're like looking at it every day. and you're like, Oh, I wish I was just a little skinnier. And then I can wear that. Like, just get rid of it. Like you shouldn't have anything like that. That's like making you feel bad. You know, like clothing is supposed to be fun. It's not supposed to like I don't know It's not supposed to like upset you when you see it. So yeah, I think to me, the, the body type analysis I think is like helpful in some cases, but that was like the least helpful one for me.
00:35:06
Speaker
um It's more like about like, what are the cuts of clothing and like fits that like, I feel the most comfortable in rather than like things I specifically think are more flattering to my body shape, you know?
00:35:20
Speaker
The other thing that like you'll probably see a lot of if you guys go down the rabbit hole if I'm interested to you enough in it is like ah color, color analysis, which was like really big in the 80s like, are you like a spring summer winter or fall, I went like super deep into this because I was like what are my colors I need to know what my flattering colors are and everything and like.
00:35:41
Speaker
a lot of the videos will be like, yeah, like there definitely are like certain colors that will like, kind of like make you look brighter or like make you kind of glow or like feel a little better.
00:35:52
Speaker
It shouldn't, again, it shouldn't also be like, if you're like, I love wearing like bright yellow, but it comes back that like, that's the worst color you can wear for your color season. You shouldn't be like, I have to stop wearing bright yellow. Like if you love it, just wear it. It's, you know, it's fine.
00:36:06
Speaker
I think that probably like says something about your style, personality, or personality, if that's your favorite color. So like, you kind of can learn something about yourself from doing color analysis, even if you don't necessarily follow it.
00:36:19
Speaker
um And I, like, you can pay people to like do color analysis. I didn't do that. I remember my mom saying that like in the eighties, like people would come like and bring their like culture swatches. Yeah. And they'd like put it up to you and stuff.
00:36:35
Speaker
It is funny. um Which it looks like you're wearing like almost like an emerald green. Yeah, like a green. I did. I wore it specifically. Jewel tone. This is one of my colors. Yes.
00:36:46
Speaker
It looks good. You're like, yeah your skin looks good and everything. Yeah. Good. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. it's um It's very interesting. And I think like it does, it was helpful for me because like, I kind of like always knew I didn't feel great like wearing pastels.
00:37:05
Speaker
But I like pastel colors. I just feel like on me, it like makes me look very like gray. And as i was learning more about color analysis, I'm like, oh, I think it does have to do with like, it's like you're basically like your skin color and your hair color and eye color and how much brightness there is and contrast. So like if you take a black and white photo, do you really see like a difference between your skin and your hair color? Or is it like more like of a similar color?
00:37:29
Speaker
There's like, ah i don't I don't want to speak to it because I'm not like a professional color analyzer. But for me, I think that I'm a bright spring. And for that, you need more like saturated colors rather than like a pastel.
00:37:43
Speaker
And knowing that now, that's helped me a lot to be like, okay, if I want to buy a green, I need to buy a green that's more saturated and not like a pale, like mossy green would like not look as good on me, and in my opinion. Like I just don't feel my best when I wear it.
00:37:59
Speaker
um again, someone else might be that looks great on you. So like it's, you know, it is kind of like take, take it as, as you want. But I thought for me, like that color was like really, really helpful.
00:38:11
Speaker
Cause I'm definitely like a person that gets overwhelmed by choice. So if there's like a shirt in like 15 different colors, i'm like, I want to buy all of them. But now I'm like, no, I be focused on the ones that are more saturated and that like helps you like kind of like be more targeted, you know?
00:38:26
Speaker
Yeah. It's funny. I just went on this green, I'm on a green journey. So like right now, neon green and like, yeah love it my purse is green, like it, because I had so much blue. So then suddenly I was like, well, I should inject some more color. And then I went too far in green. So now I'll be like all green and like, yeah not because I'm like, oh, I love it. Or it's really good on me, but it's just kind of funny how I will. Yeah. Go or go your yeah yeah yeah Or your point of like,
00:38:55
Speaker
I want it in every color i do. Like the shirt that I wear to work out most often i have in five different colors. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, let me buy all of them. It's great. I feel like workout clothes is where I'm like, not that picky about it. I'm like, whatever color is on sale, I will buy that one. Cause like, I don't care that much, you know, but it's true. Like there are definitely, there are definitely, um, colors that like, I love blue. It's probably my favorite color and I gravitate towards it, but I was like actively trying to be like, maybe I shouldn't just wear blue all the time. Like what else can I bring in? And like, what are good colors to kind of incorporate?
00:39:32
Speaker
The other, there was one other thing about color too. I was watching this one video. I'll send it to you guys. I can't think of her name right now, but she did a video about like more minimalist dressing.
00:39:45
Speaker
And like one of the tactics that she took was like, you can pick three colors to have in your wardrobe as your main colors. And then one accent color. So yeah.
00:39:57
Speaker
Like if you pick green as a color, like you can have any shade of green, it's fine. And even like things that are more like blue green or even yellow green, like anything that's like green adjacent, but like if red isn't one of your colors, like nothing red So it doesn't even need to be related to color now. It's just like, what are you going to include in your wardrobe? And that actually like really helped me a lot too.
00:40:18
Speaker
Cause then looking, I mean, like you saw my, my May outfits, it was like white and black and blue and green. So it's like, there are my three colors and like green as an accent color or whatever it is. So like that, you know, again, like if you're like being like kind of overwhelmed by choice or you want to try to have more of like a capsule wardrobe or dress more minimally. Like that's another way that you can kind of start to like hone in on like, what are the things that you want to have? I kind of was like, I'm going to have like three accent colors and my three main colors. But like, I feel like it's still within that theme. Like there are certain colors that I just don't buy because I generally don't like them.
00:40:56
Speaker
And I would always say like, oh, well, I should have like a red shirt because like, why don't I have a red shirt? And then I would buy it and never wear it and get rid of it. And then like, well, I don't have a red shirt. I should buy one. And then I'd never wear it. i like Okay. I'm just not going to buy red anymore. Like, it's just not for me.
00:41:08
Speaker
You know, it's not part of my color scheme. Yeah. It's not my favorite. I do think that um this is helpful for, cause I'm one of the, those people who,
00:41:20
Speaker
looks at clothes in my closet and then they just make me feel bad. Not necessarily like for all sorts of reasons because they'll be like, somebody gave this to me or I bought this and like was was so excited about it and have never worn it.
00:41:36
Speaker
And then you like feel guilty about that. Yeah, no. Yeah, there's a lot of lot of guilt attached to the clothes. And so to me, this is um ah I would like to be free to to let those items go and just.
00:41:51
Speaker
you know Marie Kondo it in a way, but also then do some replacing with with things that are going to be... Because also think you know what you were saying is earlier about like there's a lot of stuff going on in the world and this is like you know fun and but it's also...
00:42:10
Speaker
It's important for like what you were talking about with um not buying a whole bunch of extra clothes that you don't need. Right. Yeah. Like being more focused about and not just like buying stuff because it's new and trendy and and because it's fun to buy things. Like, oh, that picture looks great. I'm going to wear exactly that, you know.
00:42:27
Speaker
yeah yeah Right. It's like being more intentional about our purchases and this would be great, like a thrift shop kind of thing to go and find things that like fit my personal style.
00:42:40
Speaker
So i really like that. And I feel like you're right. Like going to the thrift store too. I'm like the guilt, the one who's guilty of not really going to the thrift store. Like I love to buy new clothes. I think it's because when I was little, like we have a lot of money. So we would always go to like,
00:42:55
Speaker
the Salvation Army to buy clothing. And I'm like, now I'm like, I just want everything to only be mine. i feel Like, I don't want to wear someone's secondhand clothing. But like, I will go like, especially when we're like,
00:43:07
Speaker
on vacation, like to go look at thrift stores or like vintage stores and buy little like tchotchkes and like clothes and stuff like that. And I do really like it. But I think these exercises are helpful too. Cause like you go to a thrift store it can be like so overwhelming with choice. And like, especially if it's not that well organized.
00:43:25
Speaker
So if you go in the air and you know, like, okay, my colors are black, white, blue, and green. at least you've like narrowed down probably like half or more than half of the store to say like, I'm only going to look at things that are these colors. And that's not to say like, if something really speaks to you, you shouldn't like get it because it's red and orange. Like, of course, like treat yourself. It's fine.
00:43:47
Speaker
But like, sometimes that's helpful, you know, or you're like, okay, I'm trying to like dress comfortably, but like in a way that will be like a little more professional.
00:43:58
Speaker
So you can like start to look specifically for pieces like that. Like, okay, maybe like a black pant would be good. Maybe like a blazer, but something that's like easy for me to like just throw in the washing machine, even though it's a blazer. Can I find like an unstructured like cotton blazer that I can wear, but if it gets dirty, I'm not like so precious about have bring it to the dry cleaner, you know?
00:44:18
Speaker
So it can like help you focus a little bit more.
Minimalism in Wardrobe Management
00:44:21
Speaker
um But I think like the thrift store is also a good way to like explore certain things about your style that maybe like you don't want to pay full price for something but maybe you're like oh I want to see if like I'm an oversized shirt person like do I want to wear like oversized button-down shirts everywhere so like go and buy a couple for like three dollars and like wear them for a week and see if that's who you are you know but that's like a much lower investment than like buying like an oversized designer shirt for like $800 and finding out that this is like not at all what I want to wear, you know?
00:44:55
Speaker
Yeah. And I would guess Charlotte, like one of your three words would be sustainable. So like, that's also a sustainable approach to, to it as well. Yeah. Yeah. And somebody was telling me about rent the runway. Is that something that's, that's another way to try stuff out, but not. Yeah. Yeah. keep I've never tried it.
00:45:17
Speaker
um I think it's like a lot of like, a lot more like expensive, like designer things, but I think where it would be really helpful is like, if you have like, like a wedding to go to and you, it's like a black tie wedding. Like you don't want to buy a black tie dress if that's just like not your lifestyle.
00:45:36
Speaker
but like you could rent it for like, you know, a hundred bucks or whatever. i don't know how much it is. So don't say that it might be like $8,000. I have no idea, but you can like rent a dress and return it. And that is like more sustainable because then you're not like cluttering up your closet with it, but also like more sustainable for your wallet because you're not buying something that you're, you know, not going to like ever maybe wear again.
00:45:57
Speaker
where once So the other thing I wanted to say to you, Charlotte, is like, uh, one thing that I recently watched a video on was like how to declutter your closet. And one thing the woman was saying was like, just what you were saying, like you can have like a lot of guilt or like mixed emotions about clothing that you don't wear.
00:46:18
Speaker
So like, maybe you don't have to like immediately donate it, but like get it out of your closet. So like put it in a box and put it in the attic or put it in the basement or put it under your bed or whatever. And like revisit that box in like six months and see if you like,
00:46:32
Speaker
if that piece is speaking to you again, or even like, did you think about it in the past six months? Cause like, if it's hanging in your closet, every time you open it, you're going to see it, but like put it away. And like, that way you're not getting rid of it. It's not like a permanent change. It's just like moving it out of day-to-day thought. And if you, you know, come back to it later on and you're like,
00:46:51
Speaker
this this isn't for me, like, then then you can get rid of it. Or maybe you're like, oh, I did kind of, like, miss seeing that every day. Maybe I'll try wearing it, and then you can try wearing it, you know, but it it doesn't, like, you can have kind of, like, holding area for things you're not sure about before you just, like, completely get rid of them.
00:47:07
Speaker
Obviously, within reason. Like, if you have, like, a small house, you can only do so much, but Yeah, we we we got a garage, so I got space. Garage with no cars in there.
00:47:18
Speaker
There's no cars in there. There's just room for old clothes. Yeah. Oh my God. That's a good idea. Put them in shadow boxes so you're giving them like more prominence. Yes, hang them on your walls.
00:47:30
Speaker
Yeah. I have my hats hanging up here. I should hang some shirts up for something.
Personal Style in Home Decor
00:47:35
Speaker
Okay, well, that goes to a segue. like Can you apply this to your home as well? Because I am really struggling with with figuring out how to well I'll just stop there can you apply this to your home like personal style of your space as well i I would say like I don't see why not because if you're kind of like defining your personality through these exercises especially like the three-word method I would say like body tape or color analysis is like because that's more about like what
00:48:09
Speaker
you feel most comfortable putting on your body, but it could speak to like, Oh, like blue is, I feel like blue is really flattering on me. So maybe I want more blue stuff in my house, or maybe I really like blue as a color, or maybe my personality, like I want to show like calm and serene. So you pick more like muted tones. Like, I think it can, I think it can apply. Definitely.
00:48:30
Speaker
i would say like in, using myself as an example, like, I think that's probably the case because my furniture is pretty neutral and, like, not anything, like, crazy ornate, not anything, like, too super weird or, like, different colors or anything.
00:48:47
Speaker
But as you can see, I have, like, so much crap, like, on the wall and all these little tchotchkes and plants. So, like, it's more like a classic, like, minimalist feel in terms of, like, the furniture and, like, the main decorations. And then I bring in, like, some other, like,
00:49:03
Speaker
crazy ass things around in my decoration you know for the unexpected yeah exactly the unexpected or maybe that's more like quarter I don't know but that means um but I think that you can apply it and I actually would be interested to like think about that a little more and like watch some more videos around like home design and like home decor because I think there probably is a lot of overlap there. Like how do you want your environment to reflect your personality? And like, how do you want your clothing to reflect your personality?
00:49:39
Speaker
I think like with probably with home design, there's like a lot of other practical implications. Like, you know, if you have kids, like maybe you want to have like a minimalist home, but if you have kids, like that's just not going to possible, you know, or like if you work from home, but you're like, I never want to have a desk in my house. Cause I don't want it to look like an office. Like you're going have to like make a compromise, you know, but I think that there are like, if you have partner and you guys don't have the same. Yeah, totally.
00:50:07
Speaker
Yeah. But like, I, I definitely think that there is a lot of overlap there and kind of like, how can you match your environment to your personality? How can you match your clothes?
00:50:19
Speaker
I'm sure you go down the rabbit hole of makeup. Yeah. Like totally. Yeah. Oh yeah. Makeup too. I know that's like a whole world that I'm like, that's where I'm like, I know I'm the practical.
00:50:30
Speaker
I feel like it should be practical. So I'm like mascara, and maybe I will comb my hair. And that is the end of it. Yes. fine. I'll wear a color that I like, but everything else is very minimal.
00:50:42
Speaker
um When you said sist sustainability too, Patty, that was like, that was like one last thing that I wanted to just mention to you guys to think about is like, I, one thing that I really started to learn about and think about is like what the clothing is made from, which I hadn't really paid that much attention to because I'm like, oh, I like that style or like that color, like, let me get it. But some of the reason that like I wasn't wearing anything clothing and I couldn't really articulate it until I started learning about it was like, I just don't, I don't like like non-natural fibers.
00:51:17
Speaker
Like I want to have like linen, cotton, wool, like those are the kinds of clothes that I feel most comfortable wearing. Things that are like 100% polyester, Lycra, rayon, like those types of fabric, like they just don't like, I don't like the way they feel like on my skin, you know, but it's like a hard thing to articulate that. Like you don't, you're like, objectively, this shirt looks great and the color is great, but like, I just don't feel comfortable in it and you can't really define why So that's another thing that I've been doing is like, I'll look at clothes and be like,
00:51:49
Speaker
oh, I like the shirt and then I see it's like 100% polyester dry clean only. and I'm like immediately reject. Like I will never buy that. Like I just won't do it anymore. Cause like one, I know I'm not going to the dry cleaner and two, like I know it's going to be uncomfortable, you know? So like kind of like thinking about what the clothing is made of and even like what effort you have to put in to care for it might be another thing that can help you.
00:52:15
Speaker
You know, if you know you can just put it in the washing machine and dryer and it's fine. like maybe that speaks to you. If you want to have like more
Shopping Habits and Reflections
00:52:22
Speaker
of like a practical, like low key kind of style, if you want to be like super polished and buttoned up, maybe you get a bunch of like structured things that you need to bring to the dry cleaner, but like you want, are like, that's your personality. And like, you want to express yourself that way. Like, and you're willing to put in that time to like go to the dry cleaner once a week and pick your stuff up and everything else. Like, I think those are things that were helpful to think about from like the more practical side, just like, yeah what is the material?
00:52:48
Speaker
Um, I would say like having more like cotton linen and depending on like, there's like all these certifications for it, like how it's grown and like organic and everything else too. And like, I, I didn't go down the rabbit hole that far yet on that, but I'm sure I will.
00:53:04
Speaker
So like, if sustainability is something that's important, like maybe it is like looking for more natural fibers, maybe it is like looking for more natural fibers at the thrift store. So it's like secondhand and they're not like bringing new stuff into the environment, you know, those kinds of things.
00:53:17
Speaker
For like some clothing, like more technical clothing, like it can't really be cotton. Like most workout gear is polyester and you can't like really get away from it. It's what's most comfortable. But, you know, for other things, you know, thinking about that composition of the clothing, the care that you need to put into it or the lack of care maybe that you need to put into it can be helpful too. And like realizing like why you're gravitating towards some things.
00:53:43
Speaker
Like I definitely like I love blazers and I have a bunch of them and I literally never wear them because I know if I wear it once, I have to bring it to the dry cleaner. So I'm like, maybe I just shouldn't be a blazer person. You know, i don't like, I don't want to do it.
00:53:56
Speaker
Like I like this, I want to wear it, but like I don't want to, cause I know what's involved in like going in the dry cleaner and getting clean at the time and the expense and everything else. And like, let alone the environmental impact of me, like dry cleaning this blazer, you know?
00:54:10
Speaker
So yeah those are things to kind of like, think about, you know? Yeah, I have started thinking about because I learned maybe a little while ago that polyester, rayon, a lot of those materials are made from like oil.
00:54:26
Speaker
And I had no idea about that before. I also still have no concept of how that's the case. No. don't I yeah just so mean,
00:54:39
Speaker
Like how that even works. A lot of it now is like made of like plastic to like recycled plastic water bottles and stuff, which is like good in theory. But then you still think about it and you're like, eventually I'm not going to wear this anymore. And then it's going to like go to the landfill anyway. So it's kind of like just delaying it.
00:54:57
Speaker
But again, like I don't want to like turn this into like everyone needs to wear natural fibers, like wear what you want, of course. But like just think about those kinds of things as you're considering what you want to purchase. Well, and I have heard that like people say, you know, if you want to buy something, just think about like how many times would I wear this and how long would I wear it? Like if I'll wear it at least three times, then that might be worth it. But it's like ah buying it, wearing it once, tossing it out kind of thing yeah that can be a bit much.
00:55:25
Speaker
One thing a lot of the people whose videos I watch, like they talk about is like the cost per wear and that can kind of like get into like For me, actually, that that made, ah and when you like pull your clothes out and you say like, what are the things I wear the most? Like, okay, if it's jeans, like I can justify buying an expensive pair of jeans that I love and I'm going to wear all the time. Because like if I wear them a hundred times a year and they cost a hundred dollars, that's like literally a dollar per wear versus me buying like,
00:55:58
Speaker
$50 jeans that fall apart after three wears and I have to throw them away, you know? So like yeah that kind of thing too, or even like buying that gown for the black tie wedding that you wear once and spent $800 on, like that's a really high cost per wear. So like, what are the things you're going to wear the most? And maybe you invest like a little bit more money in those if you're able to, or you look, look secondhand for like something that's a little higher quality, but maybe at a lower cost.
00:56:25
Speaker
because you're going to wear it more often and use it more often, like that, that's the thing that you should spend more money on, you know? And that's kind of counterintuitive because most people are like, oh, I'll just buy like some rando t-shirt for $2 and like wear it a couple times and it's fine because it was only two bucks.
00:56:42
Speaker
And then they're like, oh, but I need to buy like this really expensive handbag. Well, like maybe the opposite is actually true. Like not to say you should buy like a really expensive t-shirt either. They don't need to be that costly, but like,
00:56:53
Speaker
Maybe it's more than like a $2 one, one that's going to like stick around for a while longer. It's made of like a hundred percent cotton. It's got like more sturdiness to it, even washing and drying and, you know, those kinds of things.
00:57:05
Speaker
Yeah, i gotta I got to think about that more because I have this issue where I'll want to buy like a pair of shoes and then I'll go online and be like, oh, these are cute. And then I'll look at the sale section, you know, online and I'm like, oh, but these are on sale.
00:57:20
Speaker
And then I'll get them and then I'll be like, oh, that's not really what I wanted. and not what I wanted. Then I'm like, okay, well... I better buy some more shoes. And then I go, and then it's like a yeah cycle. If I just got the ones I wanted. Get the thing you want. Yeah. i can I really stand by that. I think that's totally true. And I would do that a lot too. And then you just end up with things that you're like, I feel fine about this. But like, you always think about like how it's not the one you actually wanted. And like, that also can be bad for your wallet. don't want to be like, buy all the things you want. But like, if you-
00:57:54
Speaker
even if you have like, I have a little list in my, my browser to just say like, it's like called to buy question mark. And I just like bookmark things that I'm like interested in buying.
00:58:06
Speaker
And then like once a month, I'll revisit and look at it. And I'm like, what was I thinking? And just delete it from there. I'm like, Oh, yeah, i was still thinking about that. Let me like, let me think about that next month. Or let me start like saving my money towards that and maybe decide if I want to like invest my money for that thing.
00:58:22
Speaker
But like, kind of taking that second to like, think about like, is this really going to be what I want? And like, can it kind of second option really work?
00:58:33
Speaker
Um, or is it just going to make me angry that I didn't buy the thing that I actually wanted buy? Yeah. you're Like, no, I have two things that didn't scratch the edge. Yeah, exactly. Or like, look at like sites, like, um like the resale sites. um It's like Poshmark and like things like that. Like people will sell like a lot of like really nice things. actually sold a couple of things on there. It's like super easy.
00:58:54
Speaker
um But it can get like, that's also like a place where like, it can get really overwhelming. Like it's if the case you know, like those are the exact shoes that you want, like look there and see if someone's selling them. And sometimes they're like brand new. They just,
00:59:09
Speaker
did exactly what you did. They bought it and they were like, oh, this isn't exactly what I wanted. So let me try and like recoup some of my money, you know, and you can actually get a pretty good deal. So do you feel like the work that you've done to kind of figure out like what your personal style is and what, you know, clothes, style of clothes help make you feel good, makes it easier than to buy online because you don't have to do the like trying on or like, will this or what won't this work?
00:59:37
Speaker
Yeah, I do think that that it is easier because like I have like a more specific vision of what i want or like what I know that I'm looking for, even if it's not like I have a specific vision for an exact piece. like I know at least for right now, I'm looking at like is it one of my three style words? you know And if I can't like make it fit, then that will at least like give me pause to say, like should I get this or should I not?
01:00:06
Speaker
but other thing I feel like that is, has been helpful is like, I like, I like to online shop, like I like to buy things, but it makes me feel better to be like, when I get it, I'm like, no, this isn't for me. And I will actually send it back rather than just like, keep it in my closet and then never wear it. Like I'll get it in home, like try it on. And I'm like, okay, like I bought this orange thing. That's like not one of my colors and it's not a style word, but I just look so good on the model. Like I couldn't help myself. And then I put it on, i'm like,
01:00:36
Speaker
yes, there's a reason that you should not have bought this, you know, or maybe I'm like, no, it looks amazing. Like, this is great. But if it is like, if I have that, like doubt about it, when I get it, then I just, I'm like, no, I'm just going to send it back. Cause I know it's just going to take up space in my closet. So I think like that has been helpful in not buying as many like random things that don't suit me or suit my personality, you know?
01:01:02
Speaker
But also like more willing to be like, this was just a mistake and I can let it go back and it's fine. It's fine. It's clothing. Like it's no problem, you know, we all make but it send it back. Someone else will wear it and it will be great. You know?
01:01:17
Speaker
Yep. This is the talk I needed yeah for a lot of reasons. for ah for a lot of reasons It is fun. It's always fun to talk about clothes. My sister last year, so she works in a, so in a school district. And so she's a bilingual therapist. So she goes to a lot of different schools and sees a lot of different people.
01:01:36
Speaker
And she was like, Oh my God, the first, you know, the two years ago, her whole personality was t-shirts that had like, be kind or like, you know, yeah whatever kind of things. And that was it.
01:01:47
Speaker
And then she was like, that is not who I am. It's not who I want to be. And so she did a huge investment in like buying a ton of clothes online and like doing like try on, try on, try on. And like then going through that and being like, do I, you know, like, what do I have too much of or whatever?
01:02:02
Speaker
And like sending things back. And that was awesome because then like she said, every day it was like fun to wake up and be like, yeah which of these things do I get to wear? You know, and then also getting that feedback too throughout the year of like, I never wanted to wear that thing that I thought I liked, you know? So then it's like, that's data too.
01:02:21
Speaker
But man, it's, it, Obviously money, you know, you can be at varying levels of what you invest in that, and that can be a huge investment, but just the energy and the time that it takes to even find ah a store or whatever that yeah has enough of what you're looking for yeah is just, it feels overwhelming, but I like the thought of like, maybe it's just building it slowly, you know, building it over time. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:49
Speaker
that like now you have something new that you like to wear. That you like, yeah, yeah. And like, I think that's like, that's like the crux, you like hit my ultimate thesis nail on the head, Maddie. So that's good. I guess we got there end.
01:03:01
Speaker
Like it is, it's not like, it's like a process and like something you're working on. And like, maybe you're not even like working like towards like a final point, but like,
01:03:15
Speaker
it warms my heart that your sister was like feeling happy to get up every morning and like look at her clothes. Like I feel that way too now. I'm like, let me look at my closet. Like sometimes I just look at them like, let me see what pieces I can put together. Like it's really fun. Cause like I like nearly all of the things that are in there now. Some things I still, you know, need to maybe winnow down a little bit, but like you get like that, like,
01:03:36
Speaker
rush of it. Like normally I would get that rush from like shopping. i'm like, Oh, I'm going to get something new and like wait for the package to come in or go to the store. But now it's like, literally I already own it and it's free. And I can just open my closet and be like, these are the things I want to like put together.
01:03:51
Speaker
But like, it is, I mean, unless you're like extremely wealthy, like it is totally a process and it's like figuring out your style and then like slowly getting things that fit that style or like maybe fit maybe fit certain aspects of your personality, you know, but like, you can't like do it all at once.
01:04:11
Speaker
And I think I'm very like execution focused, like I'm going to get my task and I'm going to finish it and check it off the list. And like, that has been like very, very frustrating for me in terms of this, because I just like, don't have millions of dollars to just buy all of the exact clothes I know I want. But like, it's helpful that I can like now see after doing this for like, probably like a year, year and a half to like,
01:04:34
Speaker
see like see that I'm starting to get to that point and like having a better idea of like, what are the other things that I want to start incorporating into my wardrobe, you know? And like knowing that it's like not the end of the world. If you never have, like, it's fine.
01:04:49
Speaker
It's just close, you know? Like one what can you do instead?
Wardrobe Homework and Resources
01:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, but I mean, like, because you do like online shopping, it's fun that it's not all at once, you know, that it's kind of this ah constant thing so that you can continue to still look for things. And every once in a while, get that like,
01:05:05
Speaker
hit of like something new got delivered like new clothes yeah I just got a couple things delivered last week I was traveling and Adam was like babe you got more packages I was like yay I came back from my trip at like 11 p.m on Thursday night and I'm like opening everything and like trying it on like this is great and then I'm like oh I gotta send this back this is not right you know but like it's fun to like see it and i I think like being able to kind of like one of the themes of like a lot of the minimalist or like people who are doing like no buy or like low buy for like a year or a couple months or whatever it is in terms of clothing or makeup or whatever it is they're always like shop your closet like if you see like an outfit on a website like on a clothing website that you like
01:05:49
Speaker
Well, like literally bring that and like, look at your closet. Like you probably can put things together that will like be like that outfit. Like what are the parts of it that you like? Cause it's probably not like the exact pieces all the time, but like the style or the way it's hanging, like, oh, I really like want to wear a maxi skirt because like that feels so effortless employee. Well, like you probably have one.
01:06:10
Speaker
You know, it's just not that same color. So you don't like immediately think to grab it, but like, you're not looking for the color you're looking for like the style, or maybe you're looking for that color, but you only have a shirt that that's, that is that color instead of pants or shoes or whatever it is. But like, maybe doing that will be like sufficient to like try something out in a new way, you know?
01:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah You guys, i the other day i realized I was talking to somebody um about they were like doing No Buy 2025.
01:06:41
Speaker
And I was like, oh, my God, I'm doing No Buy. had planned to do it in like January. And then I did it for a couple months and then I just forgot I was doing
01:06:53
Speaker
it. You quiet quit. i Without me knowing. yeah That's hilarious. but Oh my God. You're like, oh wait, me too. did. I was like, oh shit.
01:07:07
Speaker
I am too. Oh It's all right. It's a process. Maybe just go, go do more. No buy. And it's fine. Like, it's okay. It's all right. I'm going to do low buy. Low buy.
01:07:17
Speaker
Low buy. Yeah. Low buy good. Oh Yeah. I was like thinking on like, I should, I should like, I need to like, for the rest of the summer, like I don't need more summer clothing. Like there just was like such good stuff. i was like, oh, I really want to get it.
01:07:32
Speaker
But now I'm like, okay, no, nothing else for the summer. I don't need more shorts. don't need more dresses. Like it's fine. Everything's cool. um We'll see. Maybe when the fall rolls around, I'll get a couple sweaters or something. but I was going to say, you're right in time though. They're going to start showing the fall stuff. you know Yeah, I know. yeah But then like you see it and you're like, oh, I really want it. And like one week later it's on sale. So you're like, oh, I just should have waited.
01:07:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Well, ah I'm guessing that I can guess what our homework is, but what is it? So there's a couple, maybe a couple options where you guys can do some or one or whatever. So I, one thing I would like for you guys to do is try to like figure out what your three style words could be.
01:08:18
Speaker
You don't have to be like totally set on them. So ah i can like send you guys the video for, or actually there's an article about the different methods of, uh, finding their three words.
01:08:32
Speaker
Yeah. So I can, it's actually by index the that app, uh, they have like a good blog about it. Um, so you could read that article and like start to think about it or the index app is like free and you can download it and they have like a free style quiz. So it's like showing you images of like different outfits and you just pick the ones that kind of speak to you. And then it gives you like what it thinks your style words are based on some algorithm.
01:08:56
Speaker
If you just want to do it that way, that's might be a little bit easier, but totally understand if you don't want to like download random apps to your phone, that's also totally fine. So, and then after that, if you care to, what I thought would be fun is like, and I'll do the same thing is pull like two items from your closet that are the same. So like two shirts, two pairs of pants, two pairs of shoes, like whatever it is, one that you like really like and wear a lot and one that you don't ever wear.
01:09:24
Speaker
And like taking kind of like what we were talking about and like your style words and like other, and you know, maybe it's fabric, maybe it's color, like whatever it is. Think about like, why do you wear one more than the other?
01:09:37
Speaker
And that might help us kind of like clarify a little bit more about our style or like what else is important to us in terms of our style personality. Love it.
01:09:50
Speaker
Awesome. Okay. Anything else? I think that's good. I can send you guys a couple more videos that were like very interesting to me. One thing we didn't talk about, so maybe I'll send you this video and if you watch it, that would be cool, is a there's a lady who does like a lot of, she started off doing like a lot of makeup reviews, but she also talks a lot about personal style.
01:10:12
Speaker
She did a video about like clothing and levels of formality and like has four levels of formality. So she actually advises you to like think about your day or think about your week and like what of those four levels of formality are you in each day across the week and like does your wardrobe reflect that balance so like might be like you go to like one is like pajamas like when you're sleeping other is like being at the house or being at work like where if you work from home
01:10:44
Speaker
or ah if you work in an office or whatever, this kind of like the second level. And then the third is like going out to dinner and the fourth is like, you are like going to a event, like a gala, you know?
01:10:55
Speaker
so like, if you say like 0% of the time i go to a gala, but you have like eight evening dresses, maybe that's like not a good balance. And you're like buying things for something that's like not really reflective of you or even like what you're doing day to day. So it's kind of interesting in terms of more like practical style. It's like, I think less about your style personality where you're like buying clothing that like expresses your personality. This is more like does,
01:11:22
Speaker
the clothing that you have reflect like what you functionally need it to do day to day. Um, so I'll send you guys that video. Cause I think that is kind of an interesting extension, but yeah, I'll send you the one of the different three words. And then there was another article from index that kind of went through like body type analysis and like color analysis.
01:11:42
Speaker
And then I think the three word method. So there's like a couple links if you care to look at it, but I think having the three style words is probably a good, art and I'm going to think more about mine and see if I want to change them so cool well this is awesome thank you so much no thank you guys it was so fun it was so fun yeah seriously something that like it has hovered over me for forever and so it's really fun to like kind of think think about think about think about it again yeah yeah I love it yeah totally
01:12:16
Speaker
I feel like we should all do our color analysis as part of this. It will be like ah podcast business expense. I'll pay for my own. so Oh my God. That would be amazing.
01:12:27
Speaker
It would be so fun. I feel like it's super popular now. So like, I think there's a lot of people doing it. There is like, I think it's like a Snapchat filter or like a TikTok filter that you can like actually like hold it, hold like that'll like show the different seasons. you can like kind of tell.
01:12:44
Speaker
Um, But like the videos I watched, like people would do it with like two or three different people and like come back with a different answer each time. So I feel like it's a little bit, you know, kind of like,
01:12:55
Speaker
It's like interesting, but maybe not like the most scientific thing. Right. It's not
Color Choices and Personal Experiences
01:13:00
Speaker
an exact science. Yeah. Yeah. I think I just go by like the colors that people say like that color looks great on you. And I'm like mentally noted. Thank you. I will like that.
01:13:11
Speaker
Like my mom would always say like, well, because you have pinky undertones and I have yellow undertones. Cause like, she has more of like olive skin, you know? And I'm always like, okay. You know, like she, but it's also so funny because again,
01:13:24
Speaker
what our parents think, you know, she's always wanted me in like pinks and blues. Cause she thought those look good. And then you like react to that. And then, you know, like only black all the time.
01:13:36
Speaker
Yeah. Rebelling against your mother in your forties. Yeah, that's fine. It's all good. Do it whenever you need to. It's okay. Well, thank you
Conclusion and Future Plans
01:13:47
Speaker
both so much for a really enjoyable afternoon.
01:13:51
Speaker
Yeah. yeah it was fun. because I look forward to revisiting after we've all learned a little more. Yeah. Yes, we will be back. I can't wait to look in my closet and feel like really excited to put on the clothes that I have. That just sounds awesome.
01:14:06
Speaker
I know. Good. We'll work that. We'll get there. It'll be fun. Yeah. All right. Well, stay interesting. And stay interested. Bye.
01:14:17
Speaker
Bye. bye Thanks for listening to today's episode. Please subscribe, comment, and like the podcast. Follow us on Blue Sky Social at CanWeInterestYouIn. Send us an email at CanWeInterestYouIn at gmail.com.
01:14:31
Speaker
And join us next time.