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10- Can Marissa Interest You In...Erotica?
13 Plays26 days ago
Content warning for any parents of Charlotte and Patti - maybe listen to this one on mute?
Explicit
On this week's episode we talk about animals, a pilgrimage through Spain, trips to Rome, Michaelangelo gossip, and Mont Saint Michel, France, before writer Marissa Joy shares her interest with us...Erotica!
The introduction to this interest began with a crush, but not in the way you would think. Marissa shares her path reading and writing erotica. Her story has all the corporate elements of the George Clooney movie Up in the Air, then takes a unique twist that's both sexy and inspiring.
Some topics covered include: literary erotica and romance, quitting jobs without a safety net, being a triple threat (writer, actor, sexual person), how to structure time when you're self-employed, orcs vs orcas. Then Marissa gives us our spicy homework. (It's a stretch for us both!)
Subscribe to Marissa's Subtack for her writing, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.
Podcast mentioned: Too Stupid to Live
Book mentioned: Made for Love by Alissa Nutting
Logo design: Marielle Martin
Song: Upbeat Drums with Stomps and Claps by music_for_video
BlueSky: @canweinterestyouin.bsky.social
Email us your interests! CanWeInterestYouIn@gmail.com
Website: CanWeInterestYouIn.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Hosts' Call to Action
00:00:00
Speaker
You know that thing you love that your friends and family don't want to hear about anymore? Tell it to us, Patty and Charlotte. We want to learn all about your weird and wild obsessions or your perfectly normal hobbies that you've taken just a little too far.
00:00:15
Speaker
We want to dabble in your curious interests. Can we interest you in today's episode?
Meet Marisa: From Writing to Travel
00:00:34
Speaker
is marisa and This is Patty. Hello, Patty. Nice to meet you. You too. Thank you so much for doing this. So how do you two know each other? So the wonderful Charlotte, we met at Lighthouse, which is sort of like a place here in Denver where they offer writing classes.
00:00:54
Speaker
We did something called the book project. We were both working on novels and we were in the same cohort. We had the same mentor. I've read Charlotte's work. She is fabulous.
00:01:06
Speaker
Yes. And for a while we, wait, were you about to tell us? I was. Okay, go for it. For a while, we were like accountability partners. So we'd send selfies to each other every time we were writing.
00:01:20
Speaker
Oh my God, that's brilliant. it was really my idea It was really helpful. And recently I was telling Charlotte, I found all these old selfies of me and I'm like, they're all of me like at a desk. I'm like, how was I taking all these pictures?
00:01:33
Speaker
and I was like, oh, right. They were for Charlotte. These are my Charlotte selfies. Yeah. I had like run out of room in my phone and I was going through and trying to delete. And I'm like, okay, I got selfies of both of us and I kind of want to save them all, but I have no room. i know. I know. I was like,
00:01:48
Speaker
Glad I have a picture of you million times. like I'll save the best ones, the the glamour shot ones. Well, and it would be so cool like once you guys get published to put that in like something with your book. You know what i mean? To be like, and these are my accountability so selfies. and my you know Talking about the process. I really did write it. I have pictures to prove it.
00:02:12
Speaker
And like in the best lighting. Right. Right.
00:02:19
Speaker
So I just have to say I'm super emotional right now. I'm leaving um today to go to Chicago. But then on Monday, I'm going on a pilgrimage through work. And it's lovely. It's like two weeks in Spain and Italy. And they are like, this is not why I'm emotional.
00:02:35
Speaker
oh or they're paying for everything they organized everything it's amazing but i just dropped my dog off at the babysitter oh and i've never been away from him this long and i just i'm like i know he's in good hands but he doesn't know that like i'm coming back ever so i'm like i just started like sobbing yeah i thought how sad it must be for pets like Because you can't truly communicate with them to get them to know i will be back.
00:03:05
Speaker
Right. So for them to be like, my person is gone and they're still gone and they're still gone. Anyway, let me not. Yes. And well, and so someone was saying also to me, and I don't know, i mean, what do we ever know really as truth? But she was like, well, they perceive time.
00:03:24
Speaker
So much longer than we do. It's kind of like, you know how it's like, oh, dog years versus human years. That applies like to everything. So it's going to feel like I'm away for 14 weeks instead of two weeks. Yeah.
00:03:43
Speaker
So, but it was funny because when I was dropping him off, the guy was like, how are you doing today? And I'm like, I'm kind of a wreck. And he's like, oh, yeah, me too. I went out with friends last night. And I was like, why did I do that? And I was like, oh, no, I'm saying emotionally.
00:03:56
Speaker
Not that kind of wreck. I'm so happy for you. yeah So. What is the pilgrimage? That's like a very specific word. Yeah.
Marisa's Spiritual and Cultural Journeys
00:04:07
Speaker
Right. Yeah. So I work for this company um and they're named after St. Ignatius of Loyola. And so he lived in like the 15 and 1600s in Spain and he had like this conversion moment. And so then he took like he was hit by an actual cannonball.
00:04:25
Speaker
Yeah. Because he was like a soldier in war um and he was hit by a cannonball. And so it's like he was convalescing. And during that time, probably due to meds, had like a spiritual moment ah where, you know, God visited him.
00:04:42
Speaker
And so then he went on this walk. And so many people follow it. It's called like the Camino. And so it's like he went on a walk through all of these mountainous, beautiful towns of Spain, making his way eventually to Rome.
00:04:58
Speaker
So we won't be we'll be doing a short part of it. And also we'll be doing it in a bust. yeah I that. So a lot of people do like walk it like over months and months and whatever. So um I feel like it's such a funny way to do it. But yeah. And they the company um they do this pilgrimage.
00:05:22
Speaker
They, you know, offer it up to employees like you can apply to do it if you want. and you like write an essay of like Why you'd like to go. But they've been doing it for many years. So this is the first time because I started right before COVID happened. So this is the first time it was open to me. um And I can't believe it. I like kind of hesitated at first. I was like, I don't know if I want to be with like co-workers for that long. And I was like, go.
00:05:49
Speaker
ok dumb like this is a free trip yeah and like to see things in such a different way like even ah taking the religion out of it like the history is so cool and yeah but it's awesome that's I just came back from Italy no way where I was in Rome and yeah I mean even like going to the Vatican i thought I would like have more of a spiritual experience, which I didn't probably because you're just surrounded by people. It's just very touristy. yeah But the art and the history alone is so fascinating.
00:06:31
Speaker
Just hearing about history and there was a like a lot of Michelangelo tea, like hot gossip they with the tour. who And I was like, this is not what I was expecting at the Vatican, but okay, this is exciting.
00:06:45
Speaker
But yeah, the history alone is, I feel like it's extra special for us in America because we don't really have monuments like that that are that old. Yes. That we pay attention to anyway.
00:06:57
Speaker
But there it's just like, yeah, here's McDonald's and the Coliseum. Right. Right down the street. And it's hard to wrap your mind around something that old that's still here, that's still hanging out.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yeah, it's really cool. It's really. Yes, you should go pilgrim on. and but Go pilgrim. go go And Charlotte, you're going to France soon, right? France. Yeah, actually, look at European. um We're in France. We're going to Paris and Bordeaux and then a little bit to Saint-Michel.
00:07:34
Speaker
it's like that castle on the water. oh i don't know anything about it about it's like it's like a castle on an island and then when the tide is high it's like um it looks like it's just on the water oh shoot yeah that's so cool and then we're gonna i'm trying to i don't know how to okay i was definitely spelling it wrong i was trying to google it up and um i probably said it wrong i keep saying sensei michelle and that's not even close
00:08:05
Speaker
So I put like M-O-N-S-E and then Michelle and everything is coming up. Monse Michelle but Obama outfit. Monse Michelle Obama. And I'm like, oh, this is gorgeous.
00:08:19
Speaker
Let me if I can share it with you guys. Oh, yeah. ah yeah So we're going with also. We're going with my boyfriend, Adam, but then also a friend and then also my parents.
00:08:31
Speaker
Yes. Everyone's invited to my guest. Yeah. ah so Love it. I think it was like, it was like all the people who I had wanted to go with before COVID and then after COVID. And I was like, that's all and now we're all getting.
00:08:49
Speaker
So Marissa. Yes. What is the interest? I bet you have many, but what is the interest that you're going to tell us about today?
Exploring Erotica: Personal and Professional Growth
00:08:59
Speaker
Okay. so today I'll tell you about erotica.
00:09:05
Speaker
Ooh. It's 11 a.m. on Sunday. library. In the library. We're all in the library. would you like to talk about?
00:09:17
Speaker
Erotica. Ready? Cool. Cool. um Yeah, so this is this has always been like a light interest of mine and then recent events are making it a more serious interest of mine.
00:09:34
Speaker
But I think it started out in college. I was growing up, I was not a big reader. my dad would like make me read the Bible.
00:09:44
Speaker
And then I would you know read books for school. And there were only a handful of books that I was like, oh, this is really great. I really love this. um But in general, I was like, reading is a torture practice and i don't want to do it.
00:09:57
Speaker
um And then when I was in college, I was a freshman, my sister was a senior, and my sister had a crush on this guy whose mom wrote erotica.
00:10:09
Speaker
So her interesting way of connecting with this boy was to read his mother's work. No! Which now that I say this out loud, I'm like, what?
00:10:21
Speaker
Why was that her tactic? but That's like a girl having a crush on a guy and who's like mom's an accountant. And she's like, um I took a quick course on QuickBooks.
00:10:32
Speaker
right but Do you love me? quickly Like what? um And then the thought of like, which I have two sons. And now I'm like the thought of writing erotica and having sons in the world is also weird, but whatever. Just don't read it. um But his, so she had a crush on this guy. His mom wrote erotica.
00:10:53
Speaker
and the mother's name was Marissa. So she was like, oh my God, I read this book. And because of, you know, because of, who we have no, I couldn't tell you who the guy is now. um But I read this book by this author named Marissa and there's so much sex in it. And I'm like, what? Like I had no idea you could have sex in a novel. That's crazy.
00:11:12
Speaker
um Which is funny. I was reading a book recently and my son opened it and it had the word fuck on the first page. Can we curse on this podcast? yeah Oh yeah. Okay. And he was like, Mom, you can't, they can't have bad words in books.
00:11:26
Speaker
Oh, yes, they can. I was like, you'll find out later. But yeah, so she was like, oh, my God, you should read this book. This is crazy. There's sex in the book. And I was like, what?
00:11:38
Speaker
I don't understand. and and then I read the book and it was just like, forget it. I was hugged. I was ditching class to finish books. I just... I was like, oh, reading is amazing when you you know enjoy the content.
00:11:53
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah, it was very like just a thing. i would just write for fun or read for fun. At that point, I was not ah wasn't really writing. But yes, consuming a lot. I fell in love with an author named Eric Drumdickey.
00:12:09
Speaker
he has so many books. I haven't gone through his entire catalog. Oh, how nice. One after another, after another, I was like, oh these are so good. I have to go to class and I'm going to fail because I'm reading, which is very nerdy.
00:12:24
Speaker
But then I was actually in France. um After college, I did like, it was an internship, but I was like, i already graduated, but I want to go to France. So whatever.
00:12:36
Speaker
um i studied film and i went to the Cannes Film Festival for an internship. cool Which was amazing. um But it was like a group of us students. And I met this guy there who was also a student and in the program, who was an aspiring writer. And I was more leaning into acting, filmmaking, which is funny now, because now I do a lot more writing.
00:13:01
Speaker
And he is a filmmaker. Yeah. So we did a little bit of a switch. But he gave me he gave me like some of a story he wrote to read. And I was like, Oh, this is so cool. And I was like, i want to write a story. And I wrote a story and gave it to him. And he was like, this is way better than the bullshit I gave you. and i hate you. And I was like, what do you mean? Wow. like I loved his story so much.
00:13:23
Speaker
And was that erotica? I don't think it was what I wrote. I couldn't tell you what I wrote. okay. Wow. there was a I'm sure there was a romance theme in it because I can't seem to stay away from it. um But yeah, he people have been telling me since like I was a kid, like, oh, you're a really good writer. You're a really strong writer. Like, this is something you should do. And I'm like, what do you mean? Okay. I don't know. I just write English. i don't I don't know what to say.
00:13:51
Speaker
But then I just started getting more into it. I wrote a novel that Charlotte has read much of. There's a character in my novel named Darren. and don't know if you remember.
00:14:01
Speaker
And he's named after, he's like the the son that's going on to college. He is named after the guy I met in France. Because he like, it was like that final motivational push I needed to think, oh, I can do this.
00:14:15
Speaker
um And write a novel. So he got named, a character was named after him. But yeah, I worked on a novel and then I started a blog a few years ago where I was just posting like flash fiction and i just was reading a lot of erotica. So this is what I wrote.
00:14:33
Speaker
So yeah, i it was more of like a hobby, something I just did, you know, in my spare time for fun. and It was almost like a stress reliever. but I've recently had some career changes I had series, not really a series, but last year i got laid off from my job. I was working in film and television.
00:14:56
Speaker
I was at a company over 10 years, got laid off, um which was definitely a blow. i I've experienced both of my parents getting laid off. I've had friends get laid off. And yeah it's just this big, awful thing.
00:15:10
Speaker
But I never really, you know, a lot of things you just don't know until it happens to you. And then right it does. And you're like, oh, this is the fucking worst. Okay. Um, so went through that and then was trying to like figure out
Career Shifts: From Finance to Freelance
00:15:23
Speaker
career paths, what I'm going to do next, blah, blah. blah I ended up getting a job in finance, which is like, wow. Yeah. Such a shift.
00:15:35
Speaker
Um, I ended up working at this company that both of my parents worked for, for like over 20 years. So that was a trippy experience. Just like I don't know. i ah part of it felt like living the legacy, but then i' ah also a part of it felt like I'm supposed to be moving forward and like doing something different or more than what my parents did.
00:15:57
Speaker
And I was the black sheep rebel who's like, I'm not working in finance. I'm going to work for television. And I was doing the thing. And then I felt like, and now here I am in finance.
00:16:09
Speaker
But the specific role I had at the company was just like, God awful. It was like clock in, clock out to use the bathroom. Oh my God. Just very rigid. And you're just like watching a clock all day.
00:16:24
Speaker
Like, is it time for lunch? Is it time for my break? Can I go pee? And i was like, this is way too much anxiety for me. And I drink way too much water. I can't. I can't do this position.
00:16:36
Speaker
So I quit. Which had little a job. The last time I quit a job was because I was going to grad school. So I was like, okay, I just technically, you know, can't be here anymore.
00:16:47
Speaker
Right. um But I've never ever just quit a job without a plan, especially at, you know, my ripe old age. And I have one child at home still who needs food and insurance and all those lovely things.
00:17:03
Speaker
But I just, I think, okay, so this is what really sparked the ah quitting. I got laid off last year, get this job, and then they tell us, they make this announcement that their Denver office is closing, and then you'll have the option to move to Texas, which is not happening, or you're going to get laid off.
00:17:24
Speaker
in like a year. So it was like, just so you this is happening again. and I was like, okay. And there's just something that feels so belittling about like as now sitting on a Zoom with someone who's like, hello,
00:17:43
Speaker
you don't know me. I'm here to tell you I'm taking your livelihood away. have a lovely day. yeah um And I was like, I can't do this again. it was just a stranger who did it or the head of something, something. I don't know. I was like so new to the um company I like didn't know everyone yet like I had just gotten through training training was like months long um I had just gotten through training and they were like yeah sorry we shouldn't have hired you guys because now we're closing on the office wow and I was just like
00:18:19
Speaker
no And especially like thinking about like, this is the same company that your parents worked at for 20 years. so long So it's like yeah you have employees here who dedicated were dedicated to you. What about?
00:18:32
Speaker
Absolutely. And I'm like, I can't even imagine I knew people who are like. a few years from retirement. And I'm like, are they going to go find another job for like four or five years? Or move to Texas? Or move to Texas? Right. They were like, I have kids. I have grandkids.
00:18:48
Speaker
What? I'm not going anywhere. What are we, what are you doing that you, like, does the job require that you're physically there? i mean, everything is done more remote now. The position I was in, it was a lot of um on the phones, like people calling in. and I'm like, oh what? Literally,
00:19:05
Speaker
I worked from home two days a week. All of us couldn't work from home. This is just not necessary. um You know, it's all about the money. They get to fire everybody, save a lot of money. Yeah. um But yes, I was just like, ah no, I don't want this to be my life anymore. um Yeah. Which I haven't really told many people. Yeah. I think the last time I talked to you, i did not.
00:19:30
Speaker
yeah I was working in finance and that was that. yeah Wow. So this is like fresh. Fresh. Breaking news. Exclusive. Marissa's life.
00:19:41
Speaker
um Yeah. Like I haven't told my parents because they were still like, how's the job? And I'm like, great. Which is funny because it's like they must not be still in contact with like so they clearly don't work there anymore.
00:19:54
Speaker
They don't work. They're retired, living their beautiful Florida life. Great. But they know about the the building shutting down, not the building, but the company leaving the building, leaving Denver.
00:20:05
Speaker
um But as far as I know, which is true, I would have had like a year yeah and before I need to figure something out and get a new job. a And it was just so much talk about like,
00:20:19
Speaker
other finance companies that are hiring and where you can go and what you can do. Wow. And then I was like, maybe I'll just be a romance novelist. oh And it was a joke. And then it was not a joke.
00:20:31
Speaker
um So like this thing that I'm really interested in that you guys should definitely try is possibly a career change for me, is a career change for me. um So now I'm kind of like using my savings and the plan is to write erotica.
00:20:47
Speaker
oh So here's my hobby slash dream slash job. Now I write erotica. Yeah. So getting more serious about my hobby.
00:21:00
Speaker
Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's a real interest. It's a real, it's a real interest now. Yeah. So doing a lot more, it's everything shifts when it's like pressure applied. Yeah.
00:21:14
Speaker
I've always been an advocate of keep your work and your art separate. Like don't depend on it to pay you because you'll just drive yourself crazy. But I just couldn't, I just couldn't do corporate America anymore. i just couldn't.
00:21:28
Speaker
I was like, this is is not for me. I need to go pee when I want to pee. um I couldn't do it. And I'm like, and if I end up, you know, getting some job, like I'll get some job, but I can't do the whole, like, this is my career and I need to climb the ladder and I just don't care enough.
00:21:47
Speaker
So this is where I'm at. I'm writing erotica. Also, when I came in, I was like looking at the mics and i was like, I may have to do some recording at home. I need to get a mic because I'm looking into literary erotica.
00:21:58
Speaker
most Literary erotica. Let me tell you. Yes, please. um so I didn't really know this was even a thing, but a friend of mine introduced it to me.
00:22:11
Speaker
Where people, there's a literary erotica where people are just like reading ah erotic stories and people, there's some free websites, some websites where you pay to get like, even if it's like a Patreon or whatever.
00:22:26
Speaker
I'm very early stages. So excuse my ignorance. I will have my much research to do, but people will pay for like a series of a story and pay for the next part and pay for the next part.
00:22:37
Speaker
oh There's also what my friend introduced me to. People do like, it's like audio sex work. Where, um gosh, she has one particular man that she listens to, her and her friends. Like they all listen to him.
00:22:55
Speaker
They call him boyfriend. So they're all like sharing a boyfriend. And I'm like, what is this? And she played me one of his recordings. And it's basically like him speaking to you in a very sexual, erotic way.
00:23:11
Speaker
And then when I, like, them I've listened to a few because I was like, I could totally do this. So now we're writing, we're recording, we're doing all of the erotica. So is it almost like a cameo? Like, it's for an individual? Like, he's doing an individual recording for that person no that person? that's sort of like an extra, like, pay extra for that. But he's doing, it'll be, like, different scenarios. Uh-huh.
00:23:36
Speaker
i don't Like I'm meeting, he's meeting his girlfriend's parents. He's like, Hey babe, let's show me your childhood bedroom. And then he, and then she takes, so it's, it sounds to me like having phone sex, but you don't hear the other person. You just hear him talking and it's almost as if he's talking to you and you sort of like fill in the blanks in your mind and do what you got to do. yeah ah um And I was like, this is amazing that people are paying for this.
00:24:04
Speaker
Absolutely. And I do know that there are like at least one subscription service like that. Because I remember i signed up for it because I heard it on a podcast, like on a commercial, you know, where it was like, and it's geared towards women because, you know, they're more about like, tell me a story, put me in there. And like also the situational is what will get them aroused or whatever.
00:24:29
Speaker
then it could be anything. Yeah. You could find like... what you're into is is someone's writing it so that's such a cool thought that like you could not only yeah like write it but can write it perform it perform it I am an actor and a writer so I'm like cool cool and a sexual person let's put it all together so this is my ridiculous life right now i was like you know I'm gonna quit corporate America and just lean into erotica but so how how long has it been since you quit like a week
00:25:03
Speaker
yeah I think it's oh god I think I have had like one week at home of ah so this doesn't even feel real yet like you're still in that phase where you're like oh did I just take a week off like absolutely which Charlotte you can very much relate to this I did that I quit in um oh July. And then for like, I don't know, a month or two, i was like setting stuff up and not making any actual income and just doing whatever I wanted.
00:25:37
Speaker
And now Now it's like, what they say? Like the, the hens have come to roost or the chickens, because now I'm like, gotta make money. Yeah. a Girl, I've been busy, but yeah, it's been so nice to just decide for myself what I'm going to do, decide on like how, what kind of a schedule works for me. And yeah I, however, was not very diligent about writing. Right.
00:26:05
Speaker
during the time that I actually had time I was like oh I'm gonna make time for myself to write and deep scroll exactly so how are you doing with the writing part right um right so I yeah I am trying to be very conscientious of like have a schedule. I have a friend who is an entrepreneur and it's like doing whatever at any time of the day. I'm like, man, this is so, this is so crazy. It's just so different from, i mean, my entire childhood, adulthood, like my whole life.
00:26:43
Speaker
So I want to be very I think I do want to focus on like, make sure you have a schedule, make sure you still have some sort of structure because I find that things that I would do like on my lunch break or after work, this is like my whole day now.
00:27:01
Speaker
yeah I'm like, it took me three hours to make these four phone calls. So I, I'm actually, um, I guess, auditioning for a website, like the one you were talking about. Oh, cool. To be like a content creator, contributor.
00:27:18
Speaker
So I had to like write a script. And then I realized I wrote it wrong. as I wrote like, essentially it was just like a short story that I was reading. And then I went through, I was going through the like application and they're like, here's examples of what it should sound like.
00:27:32
Speaker
And it's more like you talking directly to someone, which is not what I did. and I was like, okay, gotta rewrite that. um So I feel like I've been working on that, writing that script, but it's still very like, this is me writing a thing for a job It's not so self-directed.
00:27:51
Speaker
So I think when it comes to like, like I have my one novel that I wrote that I would like to self-publish. When it comes to writing the next, I know I'll struggle. I know I'll struggle with that self-accountability.
00:28:05
Speaker
It's hard because it, I don't know, it's like a years-long process. So it's kind of like, well, right. Like, what does it matter? Right. great like Yeah, I think that my first step before I even write, like the work is going to be on the schedule, like building out a schedule, giving myself deadlines.
00:28:27
Speaker
But that's always been my struggle. I'm very much an obliger. i need someone to yell at me to get things done or else why. But I have to. Oh, God,
00:28:39
Speaker
I have to work on that because I'm like, I'm not, I'm not going back to open America. I'm just not doing it. and You can't make me go. Yeah. Well, like when people say like, oh, I'm self-motivated, you know, I know you're supposed I'm not like, I've never been a little bit. Nope. I admire people who are self-motivated because I just can't even imagine what it's like in their brain, you know?
00:28:59
Speaker
Yeah. Is it freeing or is it like stressful? Like, yeah. is it, does it become too much sometimes? Yeah. I don't, have that gene. But it's interesting. There are I mean, when I got laid off last year, i wasn't working for about five, six months until before I got the finance job.
00:29:21
Speaker
And that was like, almost like a trial run for this life. I had no idea I would be living. But it was, it was like, okay, things that was able to do, get up, go to the gym,
00:29:35
Speaker
pretty consistently to the point where I was like, this is just what I do. No big deal, which is a huge accomplishment for me personally. Yeah. um But I also really struggled with loneliness, not being around people, not knowing what am I doing? Like, what is the point of every day?
00:29:55
Speaker
and I noticed like in this week, since this week, I've been not working a little bit of those things creeping in, like, mm-hmm. Oh God, what have i I haven't spoken to anybody or what am I doing? Or it's four o'clock and I have no idea what day it is. and Four o'clock is like an evil hour. I feel like between two 30 and five, it's like, if even on days when I'm like on like a vacation day, it's like, o this is that like,
00:30:21
Speaker
Time. I can't be chocolate. That I, yeah, that it happened to me where I just had no idea what day it was. Yeah. after being so, so aware of like what day it was. What day it is, what time it is. Yeah. Now it's like if somebody says like, oh, thank God it's Friday. I'm like, is it? Is it? Okay.
00:30:41
Speaker
Yay. Thank God. I'm so happy. I know. I know. I feel like I'm supposed to like talk about erotica and it's like my interest is blowing up my life. Yeah. Moving the fuck on No, I was wondering, though, like, is there a difference between erotica and romance? Or it like, are you going to be writing or you're doing both? It feels very both. I feel like when I write novels, like the novel I wrote, I feel like technically isn't even a romance because romance is very focused on tropes.
00:31:15
Speaker
um happy endings like there is a specific formula that the that readers expect and enjoy and that's why we're all here I feel like it's a little less messy than my novel especially with the ending of my novel so romance can be a lot more like light and fun, erotica is usually like, go straight to it, down and dirty, or just reading porn, essentially.
00:31:43
Speaker
um Like, there was a plot, I don't know, who knows, who paid attention to that? um So I think it's just like a, you're just leaning into sex scenes more, they're longer, they're more graphic, nothing is implied. It's like, no, no, we're spelling it out step by step.
00:32:00
Speaker
With romance, it can be more creative, a little more artistic with it, a little more, you know, like classic Hollywood films. We can't show the sex, so we'll allude to it.
00:32:13
Speaker
And erotica is just like, take your clothes off. Here it is. So I definitely, I think with my, I don't know.
00:32:24
Speaker
i feel like it's safer. It's probably safer for me to say I'll just write erotica because I'm not good at, if I'm writing a sex scene, Forget it. Like we're describing everything. We're going there. I just, that's just how I write.
00:32:38
Speaker
So I might as well just call it erotically and call it a day. um But I think that, I mean, as, as a writer overall, as a storyteller, I personally feel very invested in like strong storytelling, complicated characters. I know all of that stuff is still going to be important to me. It's still going to show up in my work.
00:32:59
Speaker
That's another thing I just can't avoid. Like I'm going to go to the nitty gritty of the human experience. We're exposing the soul. We're exposing the vaginas. Everything, everything will be exposed.
Crafting Erotica: Storytelling and Personalization
00:33:12
Speaker
ah So I feel like it would tech probably technically be categorized as erotica because, you know, here we are. But yeah, it's still, I'm going to pat myself on the back and say it'll still be elevated writing.
00:33:26
Speaker
Yeah. I think that everybody tries to categorize so much. But then now more and more, there's like these blending. Yeah. Like when you said, you say a literary erotica or a literary something? I thought it was going to be like, like that kind of elevated. um yeah I should feel like, I just feel like it will be because, you know, I'm just such a good writer.
00:33:52
Speaker
I mean, you you were told that many times and I'm telling you that now. So the novel that you wrote and want to self-publish, was that erotica?
00:34:04
Speaker
I would, I would say no. Okay. But then I was recently reading some excerpts from it and I was like, oh okay. um I would say no. I think it was more of like an upmarket Like it's commercial, but a little between like a market's like between commercial and literary.
00:34:23
Speaker
It's not book club kind of book. It's like a book club. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Sit around in a book club, digest all the juiciness type of book. But yeah, I think, I mean, again, like I definitely will go there with sex scenes.
00:34:39
Speaker
um I think because I read so much, i so when I started like my reading journey, it started with erotica. To me, I'm like, this is just what happens in books, right? Like, this is just what it is.
00:34:50
Speaker
And then when I read books that are like alluding to sex, I'm like, that's weird. They left out a chapter. I don't understand. That's me as a writer. I'm like, and then fade to the next chapter.
00:35:03
Speaker
They went upstairs and then the next day. Yes. So I need, I do need more of it. That's going to be, have to be my assignment to myself. mean, okay.
00:35:14
Speaker
Yes, I feel like, you know, fun assignments that can come out of this are definitely reading, but also audio. This is my, these are my, these are my new interests. The audio is absolutely a new interest.
00:35:28
Speaker
I was like, I had no idea this was a thing. And then I was watching a show. i was watching some TV show the other day and a woman was listening to one of these audios and like, oh, how cool masturbating. And I was like, oh my God, this is really real. This is really a thing that people do.
00:35:43
Speaker
so But I guess I get it. Like men are more, you know, visual. We'll take, give us the story, give us the romance, give us, even when I was like going through the application process, they were like things that are more vanilla sex, friendly, gentler. Those do really well. um Women are looking for romance.
00:36:03
Speaker
Not so much like, um you know. um Right. Yeah. Like the scenarios might be a little bit more unique, but not necessarily like the sex acts or the Yeah, I think that's true. Yeah.
00:36:17
Speaker
It's interesting. So I listened to a podcast and one of the guests on it, she has her own podcast. And so I was just looking that up. It's called Too Stupid to Live. And she loves erotica. Like she was talking about how she even likes like when it's orcs and, you Yes.
00:36:35
Speaker
Non-humans. Orcs? yeah Yeah. I feel like I hear this more than humans. I feel like I'm in a weird sub-genre of human erotica. Yeah. it's I feel like it's more and more rare.
00:36:48
Speaker
But so she will invite guests on and they read a book, an erotica book, and then kind of like dissect it or go through it or recap it and talk about their stuff. And some of them are...
00:36:59
Speaker
um erotica authors too which is i love that pretty cool yeah yeah yeah yeah but i got a question when you said orc i think i was thinking of an orca i feel like i knew you were thinking orcas just by looking at your face like she's thinking of orcas and this is there could be some orca that is i'm gonna that's my assignment to myself this is great assignment well and to be fair orca erotica read it write it love it yeah i'm doing it um i don't totally know what an orc is i mean i i always think of it like kind of like a shrek you know or like a like a creature so that's human-ish right yeah human-ish yeah just or what is an orc what is an orc we're all like orcs oh and work no i do what it is and we're thinking of orcas
00:37:59
Speaker
A fictional humanoid creature. So yeah, human-like that is often described as ugly, violent, and cruel. Oh, okay. I see. I see. That's like a definite, you know, area of romance and erotica. wow eroica It's like, I turned him good.
00:38:17
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Very. ah So ugly, but just so muscular and strong. so Here I am under his dark green body. Powerless.
00:38:31
Speaker
wait So yeah, maybe I'm going to get into orcs now. like this But I do love that this is like a thing that a I mean, okay, erotica has been around for for forever. And like romance and bodice rippers and whatever. But I do.
00:38:47
Speaker
Oh, can you? This is a sexy orc. Move it towards Marissa. Oh, see? and heard Yeah, I mean, it's like, ah, but. It's not Shrek-ish at all.
00:39:00
Speaker
No. Shrek hits the gym. It's like Jason Momoa playing. It's like Jason Momoa playing anything. I'm into it. I'm ready.
00:39:12
Speaker
But I do love that it's like becoming more like, oh, yeah, if you're into that weird thing, like, well, we've got something for you. you know, there's something for everyone. Yeah.
00:39:24
Speaker
And that it could almost be like bespoke to use an annoying term. Like if someone's like, hey, this is my thing. Marissa, can you please, you know, like write that? like Sure. Sure.
00:39:37
Speaker
And it's funny because I used to write people's stories just as gifts. It started like with my mom. um So not erotica.
00:39:47
Speaker
um But I wrote her this story about, essentially, i grew up on Long Island. i wrote I wrote her this story of like, ah almost like a reimagined version of her life while we were on Long Island. Because she told me about like, some of the struggles she was having during that time.
00:40:05
Speaker
And I was like, what you mean? That was the best time of my life. Cause I was five and didn't know anything. So I was like, oh, I want to write her like a different version um what that time could have looked like. And I gave it to her as a Christmas present. She loved it. She cried.
00:40:19
Speaker
It was a whole thing. And then i ended up writing another story for a friend. And I was like, why don't I do this? Like I should just write for people like haters.
00:40:30
Speaker
So I think whether it's writing or audio, I'm like, why not? Why not monetize? Absolutely. Yeah. I love the idea of someone telling me they're crazy as fantasy or like whatever, you know, whatever you're quote unquote ashamed of, like, who cares?
00:40:49
Speaker
And it's like, no, let's dive in. Like, let's lean into that. And like, yeah, make it make it a whole thing. Here's your specific fantasy just for you. Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:00
Speaker
Is this the kind of thing, so you're applying to this job, but let's just say, like, is it a ah freelance thing you can do if somebody wanted to? Yeah, I'm very much feeling like if I don't get onto this platform, there are other platforms where you can post whatever.
00:41:16
Speaker
and you know, my one of my friend, I was telling you about her boyfriend, communal boyfriend, he does it as freelance. And I think she even told me how he had this service that was like,
00:41:29
Speaker
Well, it was like, he'll have like a private conversation with you. um Like i actually actually call you on the phone. And then i she literally hit him up and on Instagram to ask about pricing. And I can't remember what it was, but it was something...
00:41:46
Speaker
I think he was like, it's like two. And she got 200 and he's like, no, 2000. And she was like, okay, goodbye. She's like, so people are making money doing this. like This is for like an hour or?
00:41:59
Speaker
i think it's like an hour. And he'll do it with you weekly, like one hour every Thursday night or whatever, whatever you agree upon. um So it's almost escort ask in that way too, of like creating like boy a relationship.
00:42:16
Speaker
Yes. I have been dreaming about being an escort for years, let me tell you. And I'm like, but that's like literally too dangerous because you don't know what will happen to you.
00:42:27
Speaker
And I'm like, if you, if I can be a, phone escort yes please yes please so these are all and I feel like all of this sounds like ridiculous but then I also think it's ridiculous to clock in and out to go to the bathroom so yes yeah I agree like we've gotten in this like state as a society where certain things that are ridiculous objectively but are like oh that's that's accepted it is yeah they just have to to I want to be a phone sex escort. I'm crazy.
00:42:59
Speaker
don't think so. There's clearly not. A market for that. yeah very or I don't know if they're very wealthy, but people who are willing to spend their $2,000 weekly come on wild. Wow.
00:43:13
Speaker
Wild. And who knows? Maybe that $2,000 is like... For a certain number people. I don't know. But I'm just like, I will talk to you all fucking day for $2,000.
00:43:25
Speaker
Whatever you want to talk about. like huh Let's talk about. Well, and that this is clearly something that like you've been kind of growing towards for a long time. Like I know you said you like to keep the art and the work separate. But there's also that saying, which I hate because I've never liked work, is like, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.
00:43:47
Speaker
so This is where we're at. Yeah. This could be that version of it. And it's kind of cool to just think about like, yeah, how do i creatively build a life that I'm willing to do? That I'm willing willing to do. yeah And I don't have to say thank God it's Friday. Yeah.
City Life and Freelance Pursuits
00:44:08
Speaker
And it's interesting. I feel like I'm in this place in my life where a lot of things I spoke about years ago are like coming to fruition. I remember years ago, I was dating this guy. He lived downtown in these apartments.
00:44:23
Speaker
I was a young mom. I had a little boy, just one son at the time. And I was like, oh, I wish I could just live in the city and do the and like be a writer in the city and just like do what I want and walk to shops and blah, blah, blah.
00:44:37
Speaker
But I was always in the suburbs and the good school district and doing the kid thing. And then when I got laid off from my job, I could no longer afford where I was living, had to move. And I moved in the same apartment building that the guy lived in years ago.
00:44:52
Speaker
way. That I like always fantasized about living in And it's like, here you are. Okay. Here's like all the things you said you wanted. here Here it is. I feel like universe is definitely pushing me. Like when when the job announced we're shutting down, you're all about to get laid off. I was like, okay, you guys don't want me here either. Yeah.
00:45:10
Speaker
I, this is like, I need enough signs. I've had enough. Do you feel like, yeah the universe was like, okay, you're ready. We laid you off once. You didn't listen. What the fuck? You came back. I tried to tell you. can't be here anymore. How many layoffs does it come into?
00:45:29
Speaker
And I was like, okay, I got it. Two is good for me. Got the message. Cause even at my last job, I was like, my job was amazing. I watched movies all days. i went to film festivals. It was amazing.
00:45:40
Speaker
as far as corporate America goes, it doesn't get any better. But I still was like, i feel like I got to get out of here. I'm not stretched enough. I got do my own thing. i need more of a challenge.
00:45:52
Speaker
And because I was like in a very creative space, but on the business side, it was like watching people do what I want to do, watching people live my dream. And that was like, people like, oh my God, you go to all these film festivals and it's so exciting. And I'm like,
00:46:06
Speaker
I'm just, I have a front row seat to other people living my dream and it's kind of heartbreaking, but then you sound like an ungrateful asshole when you say that, because you still have a great job. And I did, and I'm grateful for it, but I was like, I gotta go.
00:46:19
Speaker
And I didn't take the leap myself and they laid me off. And then i went to finance and the universe is like, no bitch, we were serious. Like do your own thing.
00:46:30
Speaker
So I would always say, All I want to do is be a writer and an actor. I just want to be a writer and an actor. That's all I want to do. And it's like, okay. This is that. Go be a writer and an actor.
00:46:41
Speaker
I'm always amazed at people who do that right out the gate. you know They're like, okay, that's what I'm going to do. like i always I'm like, oh, I need a safety net. oh yeah like oh what but What if it doesn't happen?
00:46:52
Speaker
Right. And I feel like i was one of those people. I could have been one those people, but i had I had a child in high school. And that just... Well, I guess for me, not for everybody, but that instantly made me, okay, gotta be safer.
00:47:07
Speaker
Gotta, you know, take care of this human. um Yeah. So I had to play it safe for many, many years. And it's also been many, many years of like, when my kids are older, when my kids are older, when my kids are older, I can't do anything because I have kids, which sometimes is very true. Like people have been telling me for years, you could do anything, just put your mind to it.
00:47:29
Speaker
And I'm like, I could, but then I'd be a really shitty mom. And I don't want to be a shitty mom. So I'm choosing them absolutely every time. And that's what it is. And now my oldest is 20, living in Florida. my My baby is 14, who literally doesn't give a shit about what I'm doing at any point of the day. He's still thinking you're going to work every day. i didn't tell him. He thinks I'm going to work every day. And he's just like, if he sees me at home, he's like, why are you here? Ugh. Like you couldn't care less about what I'm doing.
00:48:03
Speaker
So now I'm like finally at that point of like, okay, bitch, you're free. Like go do what you want to do um But I, so I mean, it's still terrifying. It's still like, yeah, but what about all the things?
00:48:18
Speaker
But I mean, i feel like whether you figure it out early, you figure it out late, who cares? At some point you just have to be like, what do I want to do? What do I love?
00:48:30
Speaker
And then fucking try and then get very comfortable with failure, which I feel like I got that lesson a little bit. The last time I got laid off, I was going into, I was doing some real estate stuff.
00:48:41
Speaker
Um, because I was like, i also just need to like make money. And it was a lot of trial and error, a lot of failing and feeling like when you'd live a life of like, you do step one, step two, step three, and then your results will be clear and obvious.
00:48:56
Speaker
Um, it's very hard to go into a life of like, who fucking knows, like all of this can crash and burn. yeah Um, and I hate that.
00:49:07
Speaker
I hate failure, feeling not good enough, feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. Um, but that just feels like another part of it that I have to just embrace.
Embracing Creativity and Public Persona
00:49:17
Speaker
Like, yeah, we're going fail and get so comfortable with and get so comfortable with, which I am not there yet. Um,
00:49:25
Speaker
But yeah, got it. Talk about another career that like also requires a lot of self-motivation. You know, it's like real estate. whoo You know, like. I mean, because this is something I still have an interest in. I still have a passion ah for. I'm like, I'm thinking of going to the South, buying up some houses in the South. Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. But like at this point, it's like my my friend, a friend of mine sent me this thing. It was like a poem or something.
00:49:53
Speaker
That was called not this. Like, I may not know exactly where I'm going or what I'm doing, but I know it's not this. Like, I cannot do this anymore. And I absolutely got to my not this moment. Like, yeah I'm not going back to that. I'm not. I don't. ah My last week of work, I, the way i was just sitting there, like, I can't even pick up the phone. I can't. I just can't. Like, my body physically won't let me.
00:50:18
Speaker
I'm just not doing this anymore. So I'll go figure it out. I'll go figure it out. Yes, you will. And figuring it out has led me to this wonderful world of erotica. Love it.
00:50:31
Speaker
Which is so cool to think like this was, you said you were a freshman when your sister, like that long ago. Freshman in college, yeah. And this thing that just like, just thank God that boy was cute and that his mom's name was Marissa. And his mom's name was Marissa. You know, like.
00:50:48
Speaker
Thank God for that boy. It's so cool. Yeah. Wherever you are. Wherever you are, we thank you. It's so funny. My oldest son, his name was Giovanni, and we got his name because his dad and I could not agree on a name. I wanted Joshua, and he said it sounded too white.
00:51:03
Speaker
He wanted Damien, and I was like, isn't that the spawn of Satan? No. So we could not agree, and my sister had a crush on some guy named Giovanni, and I was like, oh, I think that's so cool. And his dad actually agreed, and his name was Giovanni.
00:51:19
Speaker
So basically i owe my whole life to random boys that my sister has had a crush on throughout her life. Wait, okay. Who did she have a crush on right now? And how can they help you with what you're trying to do next? got it She's very married.
00:51:32
Speaker
no husband I could have a crush on her husband. Well, she has a crush on him. His name is Zach. I don't know. Maybe I'll have a Zach in one of my stories or like something that he's he does for a living will get you into whatever. He's a great illustrator. so Oh, right. Something to think about.
00:51:54
Speaker
Now it's feeling weird. Brother-in-law illustrating erotica. I don't know. Yep, yep. That would be weird. But... Something will come to me. Right. Right. Some other aspect of things.
00:52:06
Speaker
But yes, shout out to my sister and all of her crushes. Or else we wouldn't be here today. um Are your parents aware that you're into like right and into erotica? Like what what's that relationship like? Just because mine are so like i i would feel so uncomfortable. So that's why I'm projecting. comfortable Okay. So little the upside of getting pregnant in high school is i feel like expectations shifted from then on. It was like she's clearly doing whatever the fuck she wants to do, which is not –
00:52:43
Speaker
Not how I was raised. I was raised by Caribbean parents, extremely religious, very strict upbringing. I had, like I mentioned earlier, I had a blog that would have some erotic writing on it and then some stories that were like nothing like that at all.
00:53:01
Speaker
And my mom would my mom would read my blog. And came across an erotic piece and sent me an email or a text or something and was like, I just need you to decide what type of writer you want to be, what type of person you want to be. And i was like, okay, thanks mom. My mom has a book published that, It's called You Are Not Alone. It is about God and the Bible. um My dad, just he just he told me he just finished writing a book by hand. And I was like, I'm so jealous of all of you who just like crank these things out.
00:53:37
Speaker
But it's his notes, his study on the Bible, like the whole Bible. So like this is where I'm coming from. um So yeah, very i feel if I...
00:53:48
Speaker
i feel like if i start publishing my writing, publish this book, have more erotic stories coming out. i feel like they won't even talk to me about it.
00:54:00
Speaker
I feel like they won't even be able to. Which is so fine. And I'm so fine with that. Right? Like, Charlotte, you were never, like, talking to your parents about your pay your clients or patients or what you guys think? Yeah, true. like i mean You know what i mean? like Sometimes they don't really know what I do. i mean, it's just sort of like, oh, so true. We don't have to talk about our work.
00:54:20
Speaker
Uh-huh. Right. yeah I'm not showing you the spreadsheet I created, Mom and Dad, to show a timeline. And your mom said to choose the kind of writer you're you're going to be. Okay. You took her advice. I took your advice. Thanks, Mom.
00:54:34
Speaker
Thanks for that suggestion. I feel like with the audio stuff, I mean, that would not even be it would be like a pen name or like it would be a whole persona. Like it wouldn't even really be me.
00:54:46
Speaker
yeah right Books that I'm releasing, yes, this is me. But it would just be like, this is who I am. At this point in my life, the message to everyone is this is who I am. Take it or leave it, parents included.
00:55:00
Speaker
yeah love you to death. And you don't need to read it. You don't need to read it. You don't have to You don't have to read it. You don't have to read it. My children don't have to read it. My parents don't have read it. Hey, buy it full price at the bookstore. Buy it.
00:55:14
Speaker
Put it in a drawer. Yeah. Just, you know, happy sign it. But that's that's it. Right. But yeah, I think I'm at a point where I'm very comfortable. Like if you wanted to have a conversation with me, I'm here for it. Let's do it.
00:55:28
Speaker
But I don't think they will. don't think they will. So then, okay, then we won't. So what is our homework? Okay, I am... Wait, no, let's let Marissa tell us. Yes, do you want to hear? it's God of Yorkus.
00:55:43
Speaker
but What? What? I want you to write a romance story. This is giving away the ending, but I just want it to be revealed at the end that we're talking about orcas.
00:55:57
Speaker
Oh, okay. a Plot twist. And then it's a comedy, which you can do swimmingly. good one. I do want to say that this just reminds me of the book Made for Love, which I had forgotten until now.
00:56:12
Speaker
involves a man falling in love with a dolphin don't want to like steal from that but orcas are different because they're a little bit violent right aren't they they're like killer whales yes yeah so and fanfic you know what i mean like there are no original stories so you're not stealing yeah free willy
00:56:35
Speaker
yeah oh my god have fun thank you thank you okay a note and what is patty doing uh i feel like patty that you have to go audio okay listen to you no create oh my god i'm the like most strange about sex person oh that's how your audio should start I'm the strange about sex person.
00:57:02
Speaker
But. Oh my God. Share it with no one. Do it for yourself. Make a voice note in your phone. ok Okay. ok Okay. Okay.
00:57:14
Speaker
And then reveal your speech. i got yeah Assignments clear. Great. love ah Oh, this is so good. Thank like a therapeutic assignment for us too. I think.
00:57:31
Speaker
ah but Yeah. I didn't. No, my passion was whales, but yeah here we are. Maybe my novel will be completely transformed because of my newfound story. feel like some of my favorite things, I'm like, what if I just mated animals?
00:57:45
Speaker
ah It's way more fascinating.
00:57:49
Speaker
oh Well, thank you, Marissa, so much for but sharing us about your interest. Thank you for listening. It was very therapeutic for me. Like, do I sound like a crazy person? Here I am in life.
00:58:02
Speaker
No, it's not like you're living the life that probably many people um my god jealous of. We'll check back in in three months. I'm like, I drive for Uber and have no money.
00:58:13
Speaker
That's another story. yeah Yeah. You can like start it off with drive for Uber and have no money. Hello. Thank you for taking a ride with me today.
00:58:25
Speaker
Oh, see? Oh, my gosh. While you're driving Uber, you can also be offering that as an additional add-on service. Just have like a yeah little like oh my god QR code for people who want you to... Yeah. Slippery slope. I don't know. In a car with the stranger and then I die. Okay. Excellent point. Excellent. Yeah, yeah. later They have to contact you for later for you to call them. Yeah. We were just brainstorming.
00:58:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. We'll get there. Yeah. but Thank you so much. Thank you. We'll look forward to hearing how it goes. Yes.
00:59:01
Speaker
oh And we'll let you know how our stuff goes too. How our assignments are. Oh my gosh. If I see pictures of you on social media with a whale, I'm going to die.
00:59:12
Speaker
A new love. All right. Bye guys. Enjoy the rest of the day. have fun on your pilgrimage. Thank you.
00:59:26
Speaker
Thanks for listening to today's episode. Please subscribe, comment, and like the podcast. Follow us on Blue Sky Social at CanWeInterestYouIn. Send us an email at CanWeInterestYouIn at gmail.com.
00:59:37
Speaker
And join us next time.