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Everyday Intention {Episode 54}
102 Plays5 years ago
Being a mom (or dad) can be a nonstop whirlwind of diapers, dinners and meltdowns; so many of us just default to survival mode, especially when our children are little. We're here to say that living with intention can be as simple as changing our thought processes and this shift in focus is totally worth it!
Join us as we discuss 10 simple habits and attitudes that will revolutionize the way you feel, act and enjoy each and every day with your kids. If we can do it, so can you!
Recommendations:
Piano Online
Spotify
Bonnie's Free Email Course for Overwhelmed Moms
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome back to our number the podcast. We are on episode 54 today, which means we have been podcasting for almost a full year. And we are so excited that you are here, that you have found us. We have loved every minute of this journey. Stay tuned next week for a very special one-year anniversary episode. It's going to be
00:00:20
Speaker
So fun and funny. Don't forget to tune in you guys are gonna love it in the meantime today We're gonna be talking about everyday intention and we will explain what we mean by this in just a minute But we wanted to give you a little heads up that poor Audrey has been struggling with the flu and pneumonia for multiple weeks So if she sounds a little out of breath or like she's dying, please forgive her She still showed up to record this episode today and we're so grateful for her. But without further ado, here's everyday intention
00:00:54
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumber
Meet the Hosts: Bonnie and Audrey
00:00:56
Speaker
the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. And we're homeschooling moms to a combined total of 18 children. We know firsthand that motherhood is full of crazy chaos and overwhelming obligations, but it should also be full of love and laughter. Regardless of where you are on your journey, come join us as we work together to find joy in the chaos of motherhood.
Listener Feedback on First Aid Alternatives
00:01:19
Speaker
First, we're going to start out with reading some email feedback that we got. We got an email from at northern underscore creations on Instagram. She said, Audrey and Bonnie, I love listening to your podcast. I just got done listening to your emergency episode and have a piece of information regarding hydrogen, hydrogen peroxide use for cleaning out wounds. My sister who is an RN says hydrogen peroxide could damage the exposed tissues in wounds.
00:01:49
Speaker
and therefore recommends using witch hazel instead. Thank you for all the work you do in creating such a quality podcast. Okay, thank you, Jill. We really appreciate that additional piece of information. And I do have witch hazel in my emergency kit, so I'm gonna use that instead. Thanks for that. Yeah, that's a great tip. And now that she says that, I remember being told that before, after having a kid get stitches or something to not use hydrogen peroxide. So thank you for that reminder. That's helpful.
Setting Intentions for Family Environment
00:02:20
Speaker
Okay, so we're talking about everyday intention. And here's what we mean by this. Every day as moms, we have the privilege and responsibility to set the tone or the intention daily. So we can choose every day to do something that will create the big picture of what we want our family to look like in the future.
00:02:46
Speaker
Just remember our kids are watching and they will remember what we do on a daily basis and they'll shape their future lives in response to what we do on a daily basis.
00:02:58
Speaker
Yes, totally. I love this topic and I'm excited to talk about it. This is a very difficult thing to think about. Here's just my caveat. It's difficult to think about when you are in the motherhood trenches and you're wiping noses and bums and bodily fluids all day long and you're like, oh, I'm supposed to be intentional about wiping up snot everywhere. I just want to get through the day.
00:03:19
Speaker
Again, we've talked about those survival times. If you're not in a survival time, there really are a few things that we can do every day to, like Audrey said, set that tone for intentional living and our kids will follow us. Yes. Yes, that is so true. And what we can do to lift up our eyes, lift up our vision is to think, okay, so here's the why. What do you want your future family to look like?
00:03:47
Speaker
So do you have a picture? Make a picture. What would be your ideal future family with grown up children look like? Okay, so make that picture. Well, that's not going to happen unless you on a daily basis intentionally make choices to make that future vision come to fruition.
00:04:09
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. I did this exercise for the first time a couple of years ago and I just sat and kind of meditated on what I wanted my family to look like. And I think 20 years, I think that's what I gave myself. 20 years, what do I want it to look like? And so I pictured this big dining room table with all my adult children and some grandchildren and just a big feast and laughter and inside jokes and kids that were able to listen to each other and
00:04:39
Speaker
joke together but also, you know, be kind and look out for each other. It was just the most beautiful image in my mind and I thought, yes, that's what I want. So what do I have to do each and every day to get that, right?
00:04:52
Speaker
I personally have noticed that sometimes moms in general tend to lose themselves to
Personal Growth Amidst Motherhood
00:05:00
Speaker
motherhood, right? That's kind of talked about a lot, to the chaos that is there, and they don't really remember who they were before they had kids. But I personally love learning. I love improving.
00:05:09
Speaker
And I know that I need to make time for my own education and intentional choices or else I get really unhappy. And so that's kind of our challenge to you today is to just look at your daily choices and the things that you're doing each and every day and ask yourself if they are shaping your family's future in the direction that you want to go. That is so true. You know, sometimes you wake up in the morning with good intentions and the next thing you know, you're putting the kids in bed
00:05:38
Speaker
and you haven't been able to accomplish a single thing, it feels like. But we're going to give you 10 ways you can set the daily intention. So there's lots of other ways. These are just 10 that we've chosen. So maybe you can try one or two of these a day, or maybe rotate across all of them in a week or two, whatever it takes. But just daily choose one of these
00:06:09
Speaker
to try to set a little bit of intention for this day.
Reducing Screen Time
00:06:14
Speaker
Yeah, and I love how you said rotate through things like so we're still towards the beginning of 2020. You could choose one
00:06:22
Speaker
activity or habit to change each month for the rest of the year. And by the end of the year, you'd be a completely different person. And a side note about each one of these, each one of these is totally possible. Even if you are crazy busy, even if you have a million kids or you work full time or you feel like you can't put anything else on your plate, these are just kind of like mental shifts, right? And just little teeny habits that you can choose to change.
00:06:45
Speaker
Number one is to limit screen time for both you and the kids. So I want to share a little story of when I was a new mom. I had just my oldest had been born and he was, oh gosh, maybe six months old. I met a girl at church and she was in a similar position, had a little baby girl about the same age. And we just kind of commiserated about how kind of lonely and bored we were during the day. We didn't have enough kids to like be busy with laundry all day and we didn't really have any friends in the same phase of life. So we decided to get together.
00:07:15
Speaker
at her apartment and she had rented a TV show from the library. It was the show Alias. I don't know if you remember that show. And she said, we should watch this together. So we did. We sat down and watched this show and we really got into it. Well, this TV show has like nine seasons. And so one season at a time we rented from the library and brought him back to her apartment and we watched the entire series of this show over the course of like four or five months or something.
00:07:40
Speaker
And so it was like, TV binging at its finest. And while it was fun at the time, I look back and think that was not the most intentional of choices I've made on how to spend my time. I just didn't really know what else to do. I was kind of like, still in college mode, like, well, when I'm bored, I just watch TV. So our babies crawled around and we watched this silly show. So I kind of look back at that and think, okay, well, you had that was a fun time to try out. And now you realize that it just
00:08:07
Speaker
At the end of the day, you just kind of feel icky, right? When you just binge on things. And so for me personally, obviously at this point in our lives, we're too busy to sit around and watch TV. But if that's your phase of life where you have kids in school and you're just home with a baby, it can be very tempting to just be thinking, oh, I'm just going to zone out today. But too much screen time really does affect us all across the board, especially for our children. And one thing that I share quite often is that if you want to take your kids off screens for a while, be prepared
00:08:37
Speaker
to see a detox period that will take a lot longer than you think. So in the past, I used to think, well, after my kids have been off TV for a few days, they start acting normally. No, it's not really true for my kids. They have to be off for a good week, seven days of no screens before they start to remember how to play imaginary games and dig in the dirt. And so even if they have a show here or there before bed, it really messes with their
00:09:04
Speaker
Um, like their brain function or something. I don't know what it does, but I've, I've seen it happen. And so I have to really be committed to saying no to them in order to fully embrace their childhood the way I want them to. Yes. So many times you and I have said that we are the first generation of parents parenting children growing up with handheld screens. And this is pioneering territory for us, but I don't think anybody has a future vision.
00:09:32
Speaker
for their family of everybody sitting around in a room, nobody talking to each other, everybody with a device in their face. I mean, who wants that kind of vision? Nobody. So unless that's your vision, that is an extremely good intentional choice to make.
Incorporating Prayer and Meditation
00:09:49
Speaker
Okay, number two is to begin the day with prayer and meditation. This is both on a personal level and with your kids. Now,
00:10:02
Speaker
It can be really hard, Bonnie. I remember one of our first humor segments was you bonking your kids upside the head. With scripture or some good inspirational book. Yeah. Yeah. And I find that every time I try to have a devotional time with my kids, something tries to get in the way. Okay. But when we do start the day with prayer and scripture reading together, it sets the tone for our day.
00:10:32
Speaker
in such a powerful way that it really truly does make a difference. So that's number two, try to begin the day with prayer and meditation, both on a personal basis and with your kids. I love that one. And I do try really hard to do some sort of spiritual reading.
00:10:50
Speaker
in the mornings, but it very rarely happens as soon as I wake up. So I have to be extra intentional about this because if I wait until there's time for me to read scripture, then the morning's already gotten away from me. And I can't start as intentionally as if I did it the minute I woke up. So I try to just roll out of bed and get on my knees. Sometimes I just go hop in the shower. If kids are already banging down the door, I'll go get in the shower and say, okay, leave me alone. And at least I can kind of have a moment of somewhat silence. I can't hear you talking over the water.
00:11:19
Speaker
I'm praying right now, you know? But so, so helpful, yeah. Yeah, that's me. I roll out of bed and onto my knees. Otherwise, something else will get in the way. Yes, totally, totally.
Connecting with Children During Routines
00:11:32
Speaker
So number three for me is to stop and enjoy my kids. So I don't know if this has happened to you guys, but this happens to me all the time where life just starts coming at me and I'm fielding requests here and there and I'm filling up water cups and I'm throwing plates on the counter and I'm sweeping garbage off the floor and I haven't taken a minute to stop and even really look my kids in the eye. I'm just hustling and get them dressed and do this thing and it really affects my relationship with them. I start getting really brusque with them. I start raising my voice.
00:12:00
Speaker
Getting impatient because I've because I'm reacting to them as if they're just my job Instead of my beautiful children that I love does that make sense? Yeah And so to stop and just look them in the eyes and just think or and even say gee I sure love you Thanks for being my sweet girl and giving them a hug can really set the tone for them all day long and for yourself to remember I'm raising people. I'm not just putting dinner on the table Yes, I have totally proven
00:12:30
Speaker
because I have adult children, that my relationship as an adult with my adult children didn't start when they turned adults. It started when they were children. And so I have to look at each of my kids, no matter what their age, as my future friend and treat them in a way now that they'll want to be my friend in the future. Does that make sense?
00:12:54
Speaker
Yes, I love that. And one line I wanted to share real quickly is when my kids are kind of rambling on and on about something they've seen or something they want to talk about and you're like zoning out going, oh my gosh, I just need to put the laundry in the dryer. Are you almost done? I always think of this line. I can't remember where I heard it. Sometimes I want to ask, is this really important? Do I really have to listen to this right now? But if you don't listen to what they say
00:13:19
Speaker
when everything is important and they're little, they won't tell you the big important things when they're older. And I just thought, oh, that's a tough one. And we're not saying that it's easy or trying to give you anyone a guilt trip. We know we're like, are you done telling me this ridiculous story about a robot that has nothing to do with anything because the dinner is literally burning and your sister's screaming, you know? For me, when my kids start telling me what they dreamed,
00:13:44
Speaker
is when my eyes start rolling back in their head, in my head. That has literally no interest for me. I have no care in the entire world what you had for your dream. My eyes just start rolling back in my head. Be careful, Audrey. You might have one kid someday that starts prophesying in their dream, and then I saw this. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Should I be paying attention? This sounds important.
00:14:10
Speaker
All right, number four is make your bed and get dressed every day.
Integrating Physical Activity with Kids
00:14:15
Speaker
Now, this sounds kind of stupid. It sounds like your mom telling you what to do.
00:14:20
Speaker
but your kids are watching you. And if we tell our kids they need to make their bed and get dressed, and we haven't made our bed and we're still in our pajamas. Hello, what power do our words have? It's one thing I remember. Actually, I think it was my dad that made their bed every day. And no matter what day it was, I walked through my parents' room and the bed was made. And it just kind of has a sense of closure. That's such an ironic word to use.
00:14:50
Speaker
But then also, Jansen, our guest, she was talking on stories the other day and she said she was sick and she wasn't feeling good, but she said she remembered her mom, always took a shower and got dressed no matter how she was feeling, even when she was sick. And so she took a shower and got dressed that day and I was like, yep, see, there's an intentional choice a parent made that's now affecting an adult.
00:15:17
Speaker
Yeah. And I bet it made her feel better too. Yeah. Something about making my bed too just tells me it's like the subconscious decision. Oh, it's going to be one of those days where I get my act together. If I forget or I leave the room and I come back, it just gives me this icky feeling like, oh, I didn't even make the bed today. Yeah. I feel like I'm naked if I go back in and my bed's not made. Yeah. I'm a big fan of that too. Totally.
00:15:42
Speaker
Okay, so number five is exercise. You guys knew this one was coming and I'm sure that some of you are like, oh, no more people telling me to exercise, but here is the, here is the tweak that I will give it.
00:15:53
Speaker
find a way to incorporate exercise into your everyday life. So instead of thinking, geez, I have that gym membership I have never used, or geez, as soon as I get 10 minutes to myself, I'm going to try to see if I like running again. How about just going up and down the stairs multiple times with laundry? How about, oh, I have to bring this laundry down. I'm going to run up and down these stairs a couple of times. How about taking your kids to the park and doing a race with them instead of sitting on the bench with your phone?
00:16:23
Speaker
So just looking for ways to get that activity level up, to get your blood pumping, your endorphins going. You just feel so much better, but it does not have to be this totally separate thing that you end up never having time for and never look forward to. It can totally be incorporated into your everyday life. I'm a stairs two at a time person. Yeah. I will not go up a stairs unless it's skipping a step two at a time. That's great. And another thing I have to say about that is,
00:16:53
Speaker
One of the cutest things in the whole world is to put on a yoga or exercise DVD or a YouTube video and have your kids do it with you because they don't even come close to doing the postures right. And it's so adorable. And you're getting exercise and they're watching you exercise and they're getting to move their bodies and it's the cutest thing in the whole world.
00:17:17
Speaker
Yeah, totally. If you want to see a baby or a toddler laugh, start doing exercises with them in your hands. Start doing some squats and lifting your baby over your head, and they go crazy. It'll be a fun time for the whole family or a dance party in the kitchen. Any excuse to get that heart rate up and join in the fun with your kids. Yeah. All right.
Encouraging Laughter and Smiling
00:17:37
Speaker
Number six is smile and laugh.
00:17:42
Speaker
Again, this sounds like your mom telling you what to do, but here's the thing. So many times through the day, I'll catch myself frowning and I'll feel those little frown lines between my eyebrows. And why am I not smiling? No reason. I've just chosen to frown instead.
00:17:59
Speaker
and it sets a tone. So if I just put a smile on my face, think about something, tell a little joke, laugh, it sets such a different tone for the kids and they notice that and they remember that and it affects their attitude too.
00:18:16
Speaker
Yes, I have found this one to be so true. And I've noticed, this is kind of a sad thing, but I've noticed how excited my kids get when I laugh, which just goes to show that I don't do enough. Oh, I told the joke. Mom laughed. Even if it takes sitting down to watch a silly YouTube video or something together to get you laughing, just
00:18:36
Speaker
do it so your kids don't remember you as this grouchy punk who's always yelling in order and I am talking to myself right here because this is me every day I'm so so focused on getting things done come on let's move let's call it that I can't just stop for five minutes and giggle with them and and tickle them and um you know I don't know play a silly game or make a silly face it's just it's so helpful to both them and you have you ever played the laughing game
00:19:02
Speaker
No, what's that? Okay. So you and how many of her kids sit around in a circle and the first person says, ha.
00:19:11
Speaker
And the second person says, ha ha. And the third person says, ha ha ha. And the fourth person says, ha ha ha ha. And you keep going around in the circle, right? I know. You keep going around in the circle, adding a ha. And the person who laughs and really laughs instead of doing their amount of ha's is eliminated. That is really cute.
00:19:35
Speaker
And then the next person, and then you start all over again. So then you have one less person in the circle and you try it again. And by the time everybody's eliminated, everybody else is just rolling around on the floor, grabbing their stomachs because they hurt so bad, laughing so hard. Oh, that's really cute. I'm totally going to try that. My kids would love it. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:58
Speaker
Okay, so number seven is eliminate a negative habit.
Identifying and Eliminating Negative Habits
00:20:03
Speaker
Back to that vision of your future family. Envision it again and ask yourself what daily habits you're doing right now that are in alignment with that and what are not. So for example, sitting in front of TV for three hours might not yield kids who want to talk to you because you're always watching TV, right?
00:20:21
Speaker
you know, bickering between children will probably not yield adult children who care about each other because they're always mad at each other, right? So and you know, again, those are your kids daily habits, you can't always control what other people are doing. But there are specific negative habits that you probably have, we all have, that if we just paid a little bit of attention to eliminating, we could do, you know, make make big changes. So just for me personally, as an example,
00:20:47
Speaker
one of mine is being on my phone in the morning. So the afternoon time is my work time, which I need my phone for. But in the morning, I would get a text from someone and I would check it to make sure it wasn't something I needed to address right then. And then I would get distracted. My email or social media or who knows what else. And then my kids, when they needed me and I was supposed to be helping them with school, would see me scrolling on my phone doing who knows what. And sometimes
00:21:11
Speaker
To be fair, it was very important things like I had to pay a bill online, or I forgot to schedule an appointment for somebody, or I forgot to fill out the paperwork for said appointment. But still, they were seeing me focus on something that was not them when it was really supposed to be their time. So that is something that I'm working on. Okay, that's a really, really powerful one. I remember you saying one time that
00:21:34
Speaker
If you had to be on your phone when your kids are around, verbally be saying what you're doing. I have to pay this bill and then I'm going to get right off. Yeah. So that they know what you're doing and they don't just see you staring at a screen and ignoring them. Yeah, totally. Totally. So they know I'm doing something and then I'll put it away and I'll be with you.
Using Music for Mood and Bonding
00:21:55
Speaker
Okay. Number eight is add music. Now there's two ways to add music. This can be, you know,
00:22:02
Speaker
through traditional music lessons for kids, piano lessons, whatever. Actually, I'll link in the show notes the online piano lessons that we use because we don't even have to leave the house to do it. It's a really, really good use of time. If you can get through the painful first years of a kid learning an instrument,
00:22:25
Speaker
Then you get to the years where I have adult children who people would pay money and buy tickets to listen to them play their musical instruments. Especially strings. If you can tolerate a kid learning strings, you deserve a medal. The thing about my kids is they've gone beyond, I have to practice too. This is a way I can express myself and it's gorgeous. That's one aspect.
00:22:56
Speaker
That's one aspect of adding music. The other aspect is turning on something for everybody to listen to. Totally changes the mood and the atmosphere in a, in a, in a home, in a situation. Now music touches a part of the brain that nothing else, nothing else touches the part of brain that music touches. So when there is music in the background or playing or whatever.
00:23:21
Speaker
it's going to change and use a different part of the brain than anything else will. So number eight is super important. Add music.
00:23:31
Speaker
Oh, I love that one too. I am a big music fan. Two instances where this has really helped us is one, clean up time, especially for the little ones. They're really hesitant to want to clean up or end play time to move on to the next activity. But when we say, okay, three minute cleanup or two song cleanup or something, we put on Alexa or whatever and we'll do a really fun upbeat pop song. And as soon as those two songs are done, we're done cleaning. So we do everything we can in those two songs. Another example is,
00:24:01
Speaker
uh, calming them down as well. So I have a couple of wild ones, my four year old and my eight year old, one of my eight year olds are just impossible to put to bed. But we have found a really fun classical lullaby playlist that we play every single night. And now I think their little brains are programmed to fall asleep on like the third song because it happens almost every time and it's life changing. It's been so much better teaching them how to regulate their emotions because the music is telling them it's time to calm down. It's time to go to sleep. Oh, it's been wonderful.
00:24:31
Speaker
That is so cool. I think I want to come clean and go to sleep at your house. Please do. Especially the cleaning part. We can use some help.
Benefits of Outdoor Time
00:24:40
Speaker
Okay, so number nine is get out in nature. And now I have to admit that this is a weakness for me. This is one that Audrey added.
00:24:48
Speaker
But I know it's so important because every time I get outside, I feel so much better. So it's a struggle for me in the summer because we live in Arizona, so it's very hot in the summer. And unless I want to get fried or get in the pool, I don't really want to go outside at all. But when the weather is nice, I go outside and I can feel instant mood improvement. I can feel, you know, my eyes lift up and my
00:25:14
Speaker
smile comes on my face and I feel the wind going through my hair and I see the trees. It's so, so, so, so nice. Sometimes I have to look for excuses to force all of us out. Like, okay, we're going to go read our books in the grass or we're going to go play at the park for five minutes because you've all been driving me crazy. But to find those excuses to get outside is so helpful as much as the weather allows.
00:25:38
Speaker
Yeah, did you know that before people could go to a store and buy vitamins that one of the most significant sources of vitamin D, like you can't get it from your food. You can only get it from sunshine. And so being outside and in the sunshine was like critical for life. Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. And we've forgotten that, right? Because we can live okay inside.
00:26:09
Speaker
Yeah, and just swallow, take our vitamin D pills. Okay. Number 10. The last one is go to bed with a clean kitchen or at least a clean sink. For me, that's my household pet peeve. Maybe yours is different. But when I come down to cook breakfast in the morning, if I have to clean up first before I can cook breakfast, I feel defeated. Like I don't even feel inspired to cook breakfast. I just want to throw out a box of cereal and some milk or something.
00:26:39
Speaker
Which is so bad for my kids to get their day started that way.
The Impact of a Clean Home
00:26:44
Speaker
So if I have the self-discipline to go to bed with a clean kitchen, then when I wake up in the morning and I can just start inspired and ready and not have to clean first, that is so, so, so valuable for me. Yes, I totally agree with this.
00:27:05
Speaker
Although I will say that dishes in the sink are actually not my pet peeve. That makes me sound like a slob. I really don't like dishes in the sink, but I've learned that I can function with dishes in the sink. I cannot function with things on the floor. So if there is like a toy or a sock or a shoe out of place on the floor, it makes me kind of go crazy. Now, again, it makes me sound like a clean freak. There are most definitely always socks and shoes out of place. But at least in the morning, you know, before bed, if I can come down to a house that is picked up,
00:27:33
Speaker
Um, and I have to have clean counters too. Like the dishes can be the same, but they can't be on the counter. That's gross. Um, then I can function. And so this is something I talk about. And I think my email course about, uh, finding happiness as a mom is that you have to figure out what your trigger is and you might have a couple of them. You might just have one. Like if people are coming over, what's the number one thing that you focus on? Or if you go to somebody's messy house, what's the one thing that drives you the craziest figure out what that thing is and make that your priority before bed.
00:28:00
Speaker
or before dad comes home or whatever your big pivotal time is that really affects your mood and make sure that gets done. You know, put your kids in charge of it. You don't have to do it every time. Make sure nobody's going to bed until or getting books read to them or whatever the privilege is until this floor is cleaned up or the dishes are in the sink or dishes are in the dishwasher because your sanity is important. Yeah. And making these things happen doesn't mean you personally have to make them happen. Get your crew working for you.
00:28:30
Speaker
help, you know, have them help out. Yeah. Yeah. And for moms that just have little kids, I promise your day will come if you do the hard work now. I know it can be so frustrating trying to get kids to learn how to clean when they're little. They always want to help, but they're so unhelpful for so many years. And so slow. Yes. And so messy. Can I help stir? I'm like, Oh, do you have to? Then I have to clean up your mess.
00:28:56
Speaker
My material likes to help fold the towels and I'm so stinking obsessive compulsive that they have to be folded into squares. And hers are like diamonds and rectangles and I just like cringe. And every time I take it and I'm like, oh, thank you, sweetie. Thank you so much. And I'm inwardly like having a seizure. I know exactly what that's like. The trick is to not watch.
00:29:25
Speaker
Have one of your big kids put them away so you don't even have to see it. Yeah. No, it's true. If you work hard when they're little to train them and make sure they know what the expectations are, then when they get helpful, that will already be a habit. Not long ago, I was sitting there doing, I think it was loading the dishwasher, and I remember thinking, this feels strange. I can't remember the last time I did this, and it was so revolutionary. It was amazing.
00:29:48
Speaker
I thought this is such a good feeling for so many years. I was the only one that did the dishes, so your time will come. But in the meantime, just to keep that positive attitude towards helping out around the house. Okay. We're going to link in the show notes that piano online, piano lessons I was talking about, and Bonnie's email course that she mentioned. And Bonnie, what's your recommendations?
00:30:12
Speaker
Yeah. And I want to make sure that everybody knows that you can track your screen time on the devices that you have. So I know this works with iPhones and I'm assuming it works with Android devices as well. But if you go into your settings, you can find all the activity that you've done on your device for the past day, week, et cetera. And you can chart what that activity looks like. So I have been
00:30:36
Speaker
very interested in watching my children's behavior in regards to their screen time. And so this can be a good way to teach them as well. So you can say, okay, look, we decided to have a family movie on Friday night. So we write that down on our chart, family movie night, two hours. And then Saturday, maybe some kids wanted to do their chores and then earn a video game. Okay, so one hour or whatever. So they can see how quickly those hours in front of a screen add up. And then you can also include in their children's
00:31:04
Speaker
Behavior, you know, you can say did you notice that on Wednesday? Nobody really had any energy for playing outside They all just kept asking for more TV time But then did you notice that when we didn't have any TV time for the rest of the week on Sunday? Everybody was out playing in the yard all day long So that can be really eye-opening for kids to see how screen time affects their behavior Yeah, that sounds like a really good activity.
Living Intentionally Aligned with Family Vision
00:31:27
Speaker
So just a few final thoughts it can be very easy to live a life of intention when you are
00:31:34
Speaker
working at a job outside of the home, right? You have a boss and employees that rely on you or when you're going to school full-time or you're doing something outside of your own home. It can be also very easy to slip into a life that is not intentional, that is very just kind of laid back and not very productive when you're living at home in your own home. And your husband's not going to tell you straighten it. He might
00:31:58
Speaker
might get kicked out if he did that. So I guess this is our advice for moms is to just look around and say, you know, again, as long as you're not in a survival phase and survival phases, things look different. But if things are going well,
00:32:12
Speaker
Then I challenge you to look at some of these areas that we've talked about and to see if there's some way that you can improve your attitude towards it so that you can live this life that just feels so, I always use the word productive, but that's not even necessarily what I mean, but just intentional that you know what direction you're heading and that every action of yours or most of your actions are going to lead your family in the direction of that vision that you have for them.
00:32:40
Speaker
Yes, that's so beautiful. My, my final thoughts are put, get that picture of what you want your future family to look like and bring it to your mind, the forefront of your mind often. It's going to be so worth it in the future to have when you, when you someday sit in a room and you have like this deja vu, because you're experiencing what you envisioned and it's going to be almost spring like.
00:33:10
Speaker
tears to your eyes, the power of it, that you had the privilege and responsibility to bring this vision into being. And yes, it's hard. We know when you're in the trenches, it's so, so hard, but just try, try something that we've suggested when you're through that survival mode and keep your future vision in mind. You have the power, you have the power to create
00:33:40
Speaker
exactly what you want for the future and we believe you can do it.