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Why Is Everyone so Bisexual Now?
129 Plays2 months ago
Bisexuality is on the rise, especially among Gen Z and women, with more people identifying as attracted to multiple genders than ever before. In this episode, we explore why this shift is happening, from greater understanding and visibility to the breaking down of gender and sexual binaries. Are more people becoming bisexual, or are they just more comfortable claiming the label? Join us as we dive into the stats, cultural trends, and evolving definitions shaping this bi+ boom.
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Transcript
Gen Z's Bisexuality Boom
00:00:00
Jon McCray Jones
Hi, this is the Fun with Sex podcast, and I'm John. And I'm Natalie. So to start off this episode, does it feel like everyone is a little bisexual nowadays? Yeah, honestly, I can say especially as a bi femme, it feels like pretty much all my friends are bi and everyone I know is bi. I mean, like statistically for you, that that kind of makes sense.
00:00:27
Jon McCray Jones
The reality is that Gen Z is the most bisexual demographic or openly bisexual generation in American history as long as we've been keeping track of it. I have some numbers for you. So a 2023 Gallup poll shows that almost 20% of Gen Z identified on the LGBTQ plus community. Guess what percentage of that identified as bisexual?
00:00:56
Jon McCray Jones
Um, maybe like 40, almost 75. Wow. In other generations, about 60% of the queer community was bisexual, which is still a lot. I mean, that's, so um that's more than one out of every two queer queer people, ah yeah fun buy but now for Gen Z is almost three out of every four. Wow. Let's read some more stats. Uh, study shows that women,
00:01:25
Jon McCray Jones
are almost two to three times more likely identify as bisexual than men. ah And for women, ah almost 80% of queer women identify on somewhere on the bi spectrum. Sorry, every time I say bisexuality, I'm including bi, pan, omni, yeah any type of attraction that's attracted to more than one gender.
The Complexity of Sexuality
00:01:48
Jon McCray Jones
In total, 7.3% of US adults identified as bisexuality in 2023.
00:01:58
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah, so I guess, you know, when people make jokes about we're all a little bisexual, it's pretty fair for a lot of people. Yeah, and like, do you think that more Americans are bisexual now than previous generations? Or do you think there's something else going on? No, I feel like I feel like it's always been present. I think there were just factors in our society holding people back from identifying as that. i think I think that the way that this question is asked and the implication of the question are two different things. I think that when people ask how many people identify as bisexuality, it registers in our brain as how many people are bisexual. But I think when you talk about sexuality,
00:02:52
Jon McCray Jones
you always have to create three separate categories. yeah I think you have to have attraction versus identity versus behavior, if that
Societal Pressures on Identification
00:03:04
Jon McCray Jones
makes sense. Yeah, because there's also in theory versus in practice. I'm sure there's like a ton of people where you ask them like, oh, have you ever thought about it? They're probably like, yeah, but they live their whole life married to the opposite gender. I mean, there's also like a lot of people who are who identify, like when you poll people on those three separate categories, there's a lot of people who identify as straight and then you ask them like, hey, have you ever done anything with someone with the same gender before or anything that would make that person categorize as bisexual? That number increases a lot. There's a lot of straight identify people who have done bisexual acts before who don't identify as bisexual.
00:03:47
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah, I mean that doesn't surprise me speaking from like the woman side of things and more cis hetero circles. I mean I can think of so many girls where it's like their thing that like they're straight but when they got drunk they kissed girls. I mean I went out with like a very monogamous straight group of girls and this woman who was like married and straight was like ah Begging to kiss and touch everyone and I was like, uh, I don't know if you're a straight girl I don't know if I've heard this story before but like we need to talk about this after the process But basically what I'm saying is there's a lot of girls where it's they're like they identify as a straight girl but it's their thing where they're like, oh I kiss girls when I'm drunk or like
00:04:36
Jon McCray Jones
you know, maybe back in like the 2000s and 2010, it would be like a joke on sitcoms like, Oh, she had a bi phase in college. You know, I mean, also for like men and boys, there's this idea that identifying as queer hurts your masculinity in American culture. And like as a bisexual person, I think that like, I'm allowed to say that. I don't think that is the reality.
00:05:00
Jon McCray Jones
yeah But I think the social implication of how people see you in American culture is that if you identify as queer, you're less masculine.
Bisexuality and Masculinity
00:05:10
Jon McCray Jones
And I think that like a lot of men who would be bisexual don't identify as bi because it hurts their masculinity and it hurts their like social status. But if you look at things like it's anonymous stories that comes out of the military or sports teams or like all boy boarding schools or prison for that matter. Yeah. There's a lot of people who live their day to day life as a straight person, but has a multiple times done sexual acts with other men. Yeah. I think that like the idea that like, well, there's no one else around doesn't count. Cause I think if you're 100% straight,
00:05:53
Jon McCray Jones
you have zero attraction to a person of your same gender. I don't think that being in a space where there's only people of the same gender, you act on it. I mean, it's like the idea of that you're not attracted to an animal, you're not gonna act on that, not to compare bisexuality to... You know what I'm saying though? It's just like, if you're not attracted at all to this thing, I don't think you're gonna have sexual relationships with it.
00:06:21
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah, I mean, I can definitely ah like speak from experience with my gay man friends. Like a lot of, I had a friend, he used to fuck frat dudes, all these football players, guys were like on a college campus. They were very much straight and very much had girlfriends and probably will like end up marrying a woman.
00:06:43
Jon McCray Jones
ah i Mean the black screen on Grindr I mean if you just count all the black screen on all the black screen on Chris grinders For those who aret who aren't on Brian Wow for those who aren't on Grindr the black screens are just like anonymous accounts of normally quote-unquote straight people who are looking to hook up with Gay man. Yeah, and you count like all the women who get drunk who are identify as straight but kiss other women I could easily see have the population behaviorally being bisexual. Oh yeah. I mean, I'm not one of those people where I believe that everybody's bisexual.
Why More Gen Z Identify as Bisexual
00:07:20
Jon McCray Jones
I do believe that there's people who exist on the ends of the scale who are completely straight or completely gay. I also didn believe that sexuality changes throughout people's lives. But I do think that for most people, if you're going strictly off of can you be attracted to people of multiple genders, I think that
00:07:41
Jon McCray Jones
most people would say, most people, if they're being honest, will say yes. yeah And anonymous surveys back that up. So I guess the question isn't why are more people bisexual and Gen Z? Because as we just talked about, probably the same amount of people who are bisexual today are the same amount of people who have been bisexual forever. Why do you think more people are identifying as bisexual and Gen Z versus other generations?
00:08:08
Jon McCray Jones
um I mean, I think it's more of, for one thing, it's more of like a household term that people are aware of. And we as a society are pushing less of the stereotypes to do with bisexuals. So I think people are more comfortable identifying as of now. And also just the simple fact that It is no longer, you know, under the law, illegal to be gay, and then you also can get legally married to the same sex. So, you know, we talk about compulsive heteronormativity, but
00:08:44
Jon McCray Jones
for previous generations, it wasn't like just a compulsive thing. It was like, okay, well, you know, I'm a woman. If I want to like own a house and credit card, I'm going to have to be married to a man instead of this girl that I like. So that's the easier option. Or at certain points of like, Hey, if I'm dating someone of the same gender expression as me,
00:09:08
Jon McCray Jones
that can be the difference of going to jail being going to jail being put into a mental hospital or being killed, honestly. yeah And I think that building it off what you say what you said, I think there's more of an understanding of the concept of bisexuality. yeah like Even me growing up in like the early 2000s,
00:09:30
Jon McCray Jones
i very rarely hurt the term bisexual especially when it comes to like describing male or men sexuality and like yeah sexuality and I think that like the more people become normalized and hear phrases and understand that like Bisexuality doesn't have to be 50 50 attraction to different. Yeah that is a spectrum and it's all over the place and that's why I think so many people love the word queer so much because I queer doesn't put you in the same boundaries that
Media’s Role in Bisexual Stigmatization
00:10:01
Jon McCray Jones
other titles do. It just means that you're something other than straight. Yeah. And I think that what you're touching on is really what's holding back. Like what held back millennials in particular compared to Gen Z because like the boomer generation, Generation X, it's like you have questions of legality. Gay marriage wasn't legal until very, very recently. But with millennials, I think definitely
00:10:28
Jon McCray Jones
speaking with them, there is this lack of understanding of like what it truly means. Like if we're looking at older millennials, they're kind of from that phase where it's like, Oh, this bisexual, they're just like this horny person who wants three ways and then more time progressed. And I still know a lot of millennials were like, they think bisexuality is like 50 50.
00:10:52
Jon McCray Jones
I love all genders, you know, or they have like an understanding of like, Oh, well does bisexuality exclude non binary? You know, it's kind of like a misunderstanding. And I do think that there's a double edged sword here for like bisexual women that explains why there's this massive increase in Gen Z women identifying as bisexual and only a very marginal increase in Gen Z men identifying as bisexual.
00:11:20
Jon McCray Jones
And I think the late 90s and the early 2000s, we saw the rise of the media hyper-sexualized bisexual. Does that make sense? Yeah. And I think that like the girls Gone Wild, the Blue Mountain States, all the crazy movies of like the crazy bisexual party girl, on one hand,
00:11:45
Jon McCray Jones
created an environment that hypersexualizes bisexual women, stigmatizes bisexual women. Bisexual women are more likely than any other demographic to face sexual harassment and the assault. But I also think the other end of the sword, a small part of the double-edged sword is that it kind of normalized that it's normal to be woman and bi, that it's an okay thing to be. yeah Even though it comes with a baggage of hypersexualization, it does like show people that, like well,
00:12:15
Jon McCray Jones
This person is attracted to more than one people on TV. I'm attracted to more than one person. I'm not alone. Whereas I still don't think that there's any type of like representation of like bisexual men that I can think of.
00:12:30
Jon McCray Jones
No, I really can't think about me. Even like the early 2000s, a lot of times the character who would be bisexual would always just be secretly gay, cheating on his partner. And it's not because he's bisexual and one is having an affair with a man, which is like, hey, people have affairs, you can have an affair with a man, you can have an affair with a woman. It's always he's not actually attracted to women, he's gay, he's performing his attraction to women, and like the bisexuality aspect is always just like invalidated.
00:13:02
Jon McCray Jones
OK, I can think of one on Sex and the City. So they have representation of both a bi man and bi woman. And of course, they're both super hypersexual, like Samantha's the most sexual character before. But in the show, Carrie dates a bi man and it was totally like the conversations that were had were like, well, how do you know he's not just gay, you know? And he came from this super like like of course like his whole friend group they were all like fucking each other it was you know it was a different time i also think that like bi men have not recovered socially from the AIDS epidemic yeah like the hit job that straight community did on bisexual men as the quote unquote carriers from like
00:13:55
Jon McCray Jones
they're bringing AIDS from the gay community to the straight community. Yeah. And I think that there's still this like aversion to buy man that's carried on over from that history. Cause like people don't realize that's only the AIDS epidemic was mid eighties, early eighties. That's only 40 years ago. That's a generation and a half. And as we know about like racism and other groups that get marginalized stereotypes, that stigma doesn't disappear overnight.
Deconstructing Gender Norms
00:14:25
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah, totally.
00:14:31
Jon McCray Jones
So despite the progress, do you what steps do you think that the bi community needs to overcome for more greater visibility? Um, I think having more accurate representation in media would be super helpful.
00:14:51
Jon McCray Jones
um kind of the same level that we've been pushing for when it comes to gay and lesbian representation where it's like I want this person to have this identity in the show and it not be like this overarching thing that's like pushing the plot line. Like just having like a character who is bi and they don't have any like random stupid lines of them like talking about being bi in a weird way or being hypersexual or being like crazy party frat and like just you know a normal person who's bi and yeah. I think that like greater representations need it. I think that the reality is under a Trump administration. I think we are going to see a fallback of like
00:15:41
Jon McCray Jones
people growing up under this these next four years who identify as bi not even that like adults who identify as bi there's a popular bi instagram account i forgot which one but it showed that they had hundreds of people unfollow them the week of the election after trump was elected so i think that wow there's going to be a lot of people as we're watching this rise of conservatism and like people reverting back to the status quo i think there is a lot of bi people who are going to live their life as a straight person if that makes sense yeah but i think that like hopefully as society moves forward we get better representation of bi people we have better conversations around what bisexuality is and like keep pushing back on that norm that bisexuality is 50-50 or that like bisexuality means that you can't be attracted to trans and non-binary people and like other stereotypes about bisexuality i think that like
00:16:43
Jon McCray Jones
I think for like bi men, there is going to be a much harder hill to climb, especially with the rise of the manosphere and all the overt homophobia that came with those communities. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of bi men who either are part of those communities or have friends and are adjacent to those communities who are now further deeper in the closet because of this like resurgence of toxic hyper masculinity.
00:17:11
Jon McCray Jones
that we've seen grips Gen Z men over the past six, seven years. Yeah, I think that's definitely is a big factor that is influencing the fact that so many men are afraid to be out of spy. I think the other thing that we forgot to talk about is that I think as more people try start to deconstruct gender and what it means to be a man or a woman and only attracted to man and or woman. Uh, I think that like people are going to start realizing that what people have in their pants or like the gender that they identify as is going to start mattering in the perfect world. If things progress, how I hope it does is going to start mattering less and less. And I think people are going to start realizing that like, I am capable of being attracted to multiple genders and like studies back it up that most people.
Challenges in Bisexual Identification
00:18:10
Jon McCray Jones
if you surveyed them anonymously and asked them, have you ever been attracted to somebody of like a different gender than your own, you can. And as we started seeing like gender gets deconstructed, I think that that's really going to question what does it mean to not only be attracted to one gender. And I think that like you're seeing that already happen aside like gay and lesbian circles with like the inclusion of like more non-binary people and like sapphic communities or like non-binary people in gay communities and like am I attracted to this person who identifies as a man but doesn't have a penis or like I'm dating this person who identifies as a woman but has a penis and we start like detaching gender genitalia identity from each other I think that like we're going to reach the place hopefully we're going to reach a place where like a lot of people accept that like I'm just accepted so I'm just attracted to other human beings if that makes sense
00:19:09
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah. And I think especially now that there's less social pressure to, you know, more people are accepting that things like clothing and hair and things like that aren't but necessarily gendered. Yeah. Yeah. I think the last thing I want to touch on is like, and I want to get your, your opinion on this first. I think I think that has really stifled more people identifying as bi, pan, Omni,
00:19:39
Jon McCray Jones
Anything that's not like gay, lesbian, or straight is the lack of community and culture that comes with being bisexual. Yeah. I mean, I think we've definitely seen that hosting our events, there just aren't a lot of spaces that are specifically targeted towards that community, which is crazy to think about since it's such a majority, but yeah, nothing is really marketed specifically to bi people.
00:20:06
Jon McCray Jones
And it was like a stat where over 75% of like bi people are in straight presenting relationships. But that also means that 25% of bi people are in gay presenting relationships. And the idea is that like, there's a lot of gay people who either identify as gay or lesbian, or are assumed to be gay or lesbian, who are who are actually bisexual.
00:20:32
Jon McCray Jones
but out of fear of like either losing their community or not having a community to go to, they never really act on a bisexuality or call themselves bisexual. i mean like At our parties, for context, we host parties that are catered mostly like bisexual people. There's a lot of people who come to our events who previously identified as gay, lesbian, or straight who realized that like their gender is a little bit more on a spectrum than they thought it was. Yeah. Being in this place where bisexuality is not just accepted, but celebrated, made them feel comfortable to explore those different identities. Yeah. And people realize that they don't have to like fit into this neat box of being gay, straight,
00:21:15
Jon McCray Jones
whatever. And like I completely understand if you're like a gay man and like you already been ostracized by your by your birth family and say you usually got ostracized by your friends growing up with you found this new gay community and you're scared that if you tell them not like hey I'm actually am attracted to women and I can see myself dating a woman the fear that you may lose your space and your identity inside this community feels alienating.
00:21:42
Jon McCray Jones
Yeah, so like I do understand why there's a lot of like Gaining lesbian identifying people who are bisexual who may even know that they're bisexual but choose not identifies by Yeah, I would definitely agree and I think that's why we need to cultivate more communities that are specifically welcoming and targeting bisexual people because I think that if people know that they're not Alone that they're not lonely. They'll feel more comfortable being comfortable in their sexuality Yeah, exactly. Do you have any other thoughts? No, I don't think so. Yeah, I think that this is where I will say that like, studies showing the mental health, the bisexuality of bisexual people and the suicide rates and the loneliness rates back up, that we do need to create more spaces for bi people. And like, as these spaces pop up, I think we're going to start seeing more and more people identify as bisexual. Yeah.
00:22:42
Jon McCray Jones
it's definitely evident and like our community we've felt. um I agree. All right, cool. Well, this has been the fun with sex podcast. Thank you for today's episode.