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37. Shift Of Perspective - With Kenisha Nichelle
71 Plays5 years ago
Kenisha Nichelle lost her father at the age of 12 and her mother at the age of 21. Thirteen years after being declared an orphan, Kenisha now shares her testimony of overcoming grief with others through inspirational messages and grief recovery programs and services. Kenisha attributes her grief recovery to counseling, journaling, daily affirmations, change of scenery, living out her passion for sports, and, most importantly, her faith in God.
Now a Certified Grief and Life Coach, you can begin your journey to grief healing with a special gift from Kenisha at www.iWillLiveAgain.com.
Connect with Kenisha: www.kenishanichelle.com
www.instagram.com/kenishanichelle
Connect with Kendra to be a guest or for a complimentary coaching session: www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com
Music: www.oneplanetmusic.com
Production: Carlos Andres Londono
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Transcript
Kendra's Gratitude Amidst Pain
00:00:00
Speaker
It allowed me to say to myself that even though what I'm going through hurts really, really bad. And it's really horrible that I don't have my parents. I'm not going through that. You know, I am not being mistreated. I am not strung out on drugs. I am hurting. My heart hurts a lot, but I am not that. And so let me be thankful that I don't have that problem on top of this.
00:00:27
Speaker
And so, and this is something that I also often tell people, you know, we have to have a perspective shift that, you know, somewhere in the world, somebody does have it worse than you. And I know it's hard to think that and feel that when you're in your pain, but it's true.
Introducing the Podcast & Host
00:00:46
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grief, Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast.
00:00:53
Speaker
This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:01:09
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys. I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host. Now let's dive right in to today's episode.
Guest Introduction: Kenisha Nichelle
00:01:31
Speaker
Welcome to today's episode. Today, we have Kenisha Nichelle with us. We'll be sharing her grief story, her grief journey. Kenisha is a certified grief and life coach, and she's lived grief firsthand as well, and we'll be sharing that journey with us. Right now, she's speaking with us all the way from Miami, Florida. We've got Kenisha on the line.
Humor in Grief Conversations
00:02:08
Speaker
You may not know this because we've only chatted once before, but I do end up adding humor quite a bit.
Kenisha's Early Experience with Grief
00:02:20
Speaker
conversations regarding grief. Yeah, I don't know. I know I dealt with grief a lot with humor. I don't know if you've used humor in your healing as well, but we'll find out. We'll find out. So Kenisha, take us down to Mary Lane. You were born and raised and
00:02:38
Speaker
We were talking just right before because we had done a demo trying to record regarding age factor. You did want to reveal your age because you said it added a point of reference. It does. It does. I talk about all the depth that I experienced and one would believe, oh, she must be
00:03:02
Speaker
Sixty-something for all of that that she's endured, you know on top of on top of the grief, but oddly enough. No, I am 34 and My grief journey man start back at the age of 12. So it's Kendra as you said Yeah, I'm originally from Louisville, Kentucky and I'm at 12. My father basically died instantly He suffered a brain aneurysm on a Wednesday and by Saturday
00:03:31
Speaker
He was pronounced brain dead. And so that was my best friend. You know, I was a daddy's girl. And so that was my first take with grief. And I didn't know how to deal with it. I really didn't. I hadn't lost anybody before then, you know, significant to that degree to where it really, truly impacted my life.
00:03:52
Speaker
Um, so much so that I just, I couldn't function and, you know, to the humor that you say, you know, now when I share this part of the story, um, I thought that, you know, I, I just didn't want to live and decided to use a butter knife to end it all. And, uh, not knowing that that just wasn't realistic, but in my heart of hearts at 12, you know, the pain was that bad that I felt like, you know, trying
Navigating Life Changes Post-Loss
00:04:18
Speaker
something. And so.
00:04:19
Speaker
You know, grief has that hold on you, especially depending on, you know, who that person is. Um, and you know, my parents were divorced and I live with my father. So, you know, my world was wrapped up with him. And so when it was taken from me was, it was pretty tough to deal with. But after that, um, you know, I moved with my mom and. You know, live life with her until she got sick and she got sick with breast cancer. And, um, and, and, um, 21 is when she passed away from me.
00:04:49
Speaker
So at 21, I became an orphan. Which is a lot. Yeah. So 12, your dad, 21, your mom, and now you mentioned your parents had been divorced. How old were you when they were divorced? When they got divorced? Um, I would say I was thinking about eight or nine. So I was still fairly young. Do you remember that? But that was good.
00:05:14
Speaker
Do you remember that being a grief experience for you as well? Do you remember that time in your life? I do. I try to recall that part of my life, but it was a while ago, so it was a little foggy. But I do know, like I said, that they did split up. And I knew though that I was given the choice of who I wanted to live with. And I chose to live with my father.
00:05:40
Speaker
You know, it meant a lot of different things. My father was a police officer, so I enjoyed being the daughter of a police officer and the fanfare that came with that, if you will. But it also meant a lot of days by myself. Like I said, he was an officer, so his shifts were 12 hours, but you couldn't tell me anything. My daddy could do no wrong. And so, you know, I had a relationship with my mother, but it was definitely stronger with my father.
00:06:07
Speaker
with your dad. So then at 12, then here you are. You experienced then your dad dying. And then again, your life changes also in a different way in which you have to go and live now with your mom. And now did they live nearby? Did you have to change schools? How much was your life impacted? Those secondary losses that happened sometimes around death?
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good question. So my father did remarry. He remarried so that, you know, I have a living stepmother.
00:06:39
Speaker
but he did remarry and they were only married for four months before he passed. And so the house that I grew up in and everything, you know, they just, my family all thought it was just best that I live with my mother. In the beginning, I didn't make that choice because that was my house, the house that I grew up in. And so now you're telling me that I have to leave this house to live with my mom. So it was kind of a catch 22. It's like, you're ripping me from my childhood home to go with my mom. And it's like,
00:07:07
Speaker
I should go with my mom, but then you're taking me from my childhood home. And so that was a level of grief, if you will, that was added to it. But after all of the courts and all of that fanfare and stuff, I eventually was okay with going with my mother and then our house was eventually sold. My stepmother sold it.
00:07:31
Speaker
All of that was just kind of ripped away from me. And it's not until now, and actually, that you bring it up to that degree, because I hadn't really thought about it to that level. But yeah, being lost him and then turn around and losing my home in that manner was different. No, I didn't have to change schools. So thankfully, just change buses. But didn't have to change schools or anything. My mom didn't live far.
00:08:01
Speaker
10 minutes if that. So she wasn't far, so it wasn't like it was anything completely drastic. But yeah, it definitely adds another layer when you don't get to stay in that place. Things are still changing even after that loved one passes away.
00:08:20
Speaker
Yes, it is very interesting because sometimes in people like when I've had conversations, those secondary losses end up being the ones that are even more either traumatic or life changing than the actual death itself.
00:08:37
Speaker
in their whole grief kind of journey, because there's just so many layers. Like what you said, like having to live or like if parents are divorced and then you had met somebody that lived with her siblings, the parent that she lived with and her half siblings dies, and then she has to then go and live with the other parent. So that means that not only did she
00:09:02
Speaker
lose the parent, but then she lost and being even with her half siblings, all those layers that can happen in different situations.
Turning Points in Coping with Grief
00:09:14
Speaker
Thank you for sharing that.
00:09:18
Speaker
here from 12 to 21, share a little bit then you attempted then with the butter knife when you were 12. How else did you deal with your grief? And also how did your mom help you with your grief being that she was no longer married to your dad? Her grief experience was very different than yours. So how was that dynamic?
00:09:45
Speaker
Um, it was different, but it was still pretty significant. They were high school sweethearts. So, you know, she experienced her own level of grief of her, basically her only love passing away, you know, her only love, the father of her child passing away. So, you know, she had to deal with it in her own way. Um, honestly, I can't say how she did. Um, I don't quite remember, um, you know, if she went to therapy or anything like that, I don't recall her disclosing that to me.
00:10:15
Speaker
So I can't say what she did on her end, but I know that I was put into therapy for me. Once the butter knife incident happened, it was evident that this loss was really impacting me more than people thought. So some people think that when children experience loss, that because they're bubbly and happy and resilient, that it doesn't impact them the same way it would an adult.
00:10:42
Speaker
And I'm here to tell you that that's completely false. Um, and it was evident because, you know, before, you know, I went through the loss and, you know, I went back to school and things and was able to be around my friends, but the butter knife incident happened. And then that was kind of the light bulbs, which for my family, like, okay, maybe Kenisha is not okay. Maybe we need to get Kenisha some help. And so that was the first time.
00:11:05
Speaker
Yep. So they put me in, um, group therapy with other children. So that was good. It wasn't like it was a one-on-one situation and I'm talking to some stranger. Um, you know, I went to group therapy and so I was in there with other kids and the main thing that I do remember plain as day.
00:11:23
Speaker
was doing art therapy. And they allowed us to be able to draw pictures of how we were feeling. And I just absolutely love that. I remember that. That's kind of why I incorporate that into what I'm doing today. But being able to draw out what you're thinking and feeling, it doesn't, in the moment, doesn't feel like therapy, but it is another way of releasing those thoughts and feelings that you're having inside. And so, you know, people would draw angry faces, draw,
00:11:52
Speaker
sad faces and crying faces and all of that combined is just another way to release. And so I know that for me and as a child back then, it was important to be able to have a comfortable way to release. So if there is a child that's in your life that is going through the grief of a loved one, you know, listen to them, talk to them, give them support because trust me,
00:12:19
Speaker
You know, they're feeling it too. I know adults, you know, you can see it and it's more evident in an adult, but for sure for a child, they need the help that they can get as well.
00:12:30
Speaker
Yeah, and the way that they maybe react, as you just said, because they're so different, it may not look the same way as you as an adult dealing with grief. So it's important to be very attentive to maybe differences in their behavior, in their motivation, maybe at school, whether they withdraw.
00:12:53
Speaker
I remember when my mom passed away, we made sure we told the counselors, the counselor at school and the kids' teachers just to kind of just pay attention if anything changed at school that maybe we weren't noticing at home, but maybe they could see anything at school. So yeah, making sure to just keep an eye and asking people around you that are close to that child to keep an eye.
00:13:20
Speaker
So now take us then so that, that you had therapy. Do you remember about how long you had it for? Uh, honestly, I don't, I don't recall. It's hard. It becomes like a blur. A lot of things. You taking me, taking me way back. Okay. So then take us into then how your grief started changing and your teens and then going to college. And then we go into your mom's, uh, passing when you were 21.
00:13:50
Speaker
Um, I would say my high school years and everything were pretty much okay. Um, I, my father was a very strong figure in my life. So I wouldn't say that, um, I had, you know, daddy issues because he was absent. Um, I mean, to this day, there's a lot of things that I remember about my father and how I even move and do things based off of just those 12 years with him. So I don't think I, I.
00:14:17
Speaker
I suffered the loss of his presence, his physical presence, for sure. But I don't think that my life, you know, kind of went in shambles, if you will, from not having him. So I would say my high school years were, you know, pretty much okay. You know, of course, the high school graduation was there because he wasn't there to see me graduate and prom and all those kinds of things. Took off to college. I went to the University of Kentucky. I wanted to,
00:14:46
Speaker
leave home, but not be too far. And so University of Kentucky is about an hour away from Louisville. So it was far enough to where I could be independent and do my thing, but it was close enough to where should anything happen, I'd be able to get back home fairly quickly, you know, within the same day.
Education and Support Systems
00:15:06
Speaker
Can I interrupt you? I want to interrupt you there. That is such an interesting thought because I do not know had you not had your father pass away, wonder if you would have had that same feeling of the not wanting to be far away. You know, that fear of like something's going to happen if I'm not there or if something happens, you know, like.
00:15:31
Speaker
if that kind of carried on then of you choosing then to be home, right? But it's just a very interesting ripple effect to some extent of what happened then with the choices you made even for college. I remember you saying that and that's kind of profound. I never actually thought about that. I said those words and I meant that.
00:15:56
Speaker
But I didn't know the why. And so it was interesting when you brought that up to me the first time. I do know I have an older cousin who I'm very, very close to almost, you know, we called each other sisters because we're so close. And, you know, she and her family, you know, they lived in Georgia, but she chose to go to NYU, New York University. And I remember her, you know, having the struggles to getting back and forth from New York to Georgia. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be that far.
00:16:25
Speaker
to where it's a struggle, it takes a day or two for her to get back home because something happened. And so I think all of that together was like, I'm going to stay, I'm going to go to the end state school. Plus I love Kentucky anyways. So I wasn't opposed to it, but I didn't want to have my freedom. I didn't want to be the other type of person that
00:16:46
Speaker
goes to college and they still live at home and it's like, you know, you can't really have freedom because, you know, mom is still on your back. So I kind of was trying to find a healthy balance between the two. But when you brought that up the first time, I was like, you know, I never even thought about that.
00:17:01
Speaker
but it's true. I guess I had that intuition. Yes, you had that. I'm going to point this out as listeners are hearing this. Kenisha is a grief and life coach, yet sometimes somebody else's perspective and something you've lived, like having these conversations with someone may bring up something that sometimes we don't even know. That's why even having a grief coach like you or like me,
00:17:28
Speaker
is something that's important sometimes because, or just even conversations with people. It doesn't even have to be, just talking about this with friends and because sometimes hearing somebody's perspective when you're there, an outsider of the situation makes you see things differently and you're like, whoa, I had never thought of that.
00:17:46
Speaker
Um, so yeah, I just, I love having these kinds of conversations. I know I've had a lot of aha moments, just of people bringing things up to me that I'm like, Oh, I would have never thought that that's why I do the things I do and how, why I do them. So yeah. So, um, so anyway, that is just, uh, and I'm sure you've, you've been an aha moment for a lot of you like when you're kind of bringing, yeah, that was a good one though.
00:18:11
Speaker
Out of all these years, I hadn't really put the two together that I would think that, you know, almost as a premonition before it actually happened. So, yeah, no, that was, yeah, look at you. And maybe it's not, and maybe it had nothing, no, and maybe it had nothing to do with that. I was just like, oh, I wonder if, you know, that's the reason, but yeah, you never know.
00:18:32
Speaker
All right. So then you're in college. You're just an hour away. You're a drive away from home. Now, what happened then when you were 21? So her diagnosis came before 21. And so I have to share, man, it was pretty horrible the way that I found out. So I was at school doing my thing and I get a phone call for someone.
00:19:02
Speaker
And it's, I think she was one of the members of our church and it was one of my mom's choir members, that's who it was. And so she called me and she was like, hey, Kanesha, I just wanna let you know that I'm praying for you and your mom and everything is gonna be okay. And if you need anything, you can always reach out to me. And I was like, what are you talking about?
00:19:25
Speaker
And I was like, why are you praying for me and my mom? Yeah. Right. I was like, I was like, nothing's going on. I was like, well, what do I not know? And she said, Oh my God, you don't know. And I was like, I don't know what. And so she was like, okay, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, you know, call you and scare you like that. She was like, I'm, you know, I'm not the one to tell you, I think you should call your mom.
00:19:52
Speaker
And I'm like, okay. So of course I hang up on the phone and I call her and I'm like, my, um, I just got this phone call telling me that people are praying for you and that they're going to help us. And I'm like, what is going on? And she's like, well, you know, and the thing I believe this was like a Tuesday. They used to have a car rehearsal on Tuesdays and she was like, well, I knew you were coming home this weekend. So I wanted to wait till you came home this weekend to tell you.
00:20:16
Speaker
And I was like, tell me what? And she was like, I would just rather wait. And I'm like, mom, this is like 8, 9 o'clock at night. I said, mom, I will get in the car and I will drive home now if you don't tell me. But if you get off of this phone and don't tell me, I'm leaving and you'll see me in about an hour, 15 minutes, and then you can tell me to my face. And I'm like, I'm not waiting till the weekend. Like, are you crazy? So she went ahead and she told me. And I was like, OK.
00:20:46
Speaker
All right, you have breast cancer. And it was stage three breast cancer. And so I said, okay, well, you know, I'll be home this weekend, um, to deal with it. And I think she was actually scheduled to have her surgery not too long after. And I'm like, okay, no, no big deal. I'll be there. Like say less. So, um, I know I went home that weekend and for all intents and purposes, the, the surgery was on Monday or Tuesday. Of course I stay, you know, she's my only parent. I'm an only child.
00:21:15
Speaker
So I was there and I didn't care about school. I didn't care about missing classes. I was a student athletic trainer. I didn't care about missing practice. I was going to be there with my mom. And so that's what I did. And so her cancer first showed up. This was in the fall of 2004.
00:21:38
Speaker
And this was the very first time that showed up, you know, I, so press, sorry.
Impact of Mother's Passing
00:21:45
Speaker
So you were how old then when did that moment and that diagnosis that 19. Okay. Yeah. And so I, I, um, came home and was with her and, you know, you try to do as much as I could by being there. And of course, you know, she had her sisters and my grandmother and
00:22:07
Speaker
She had a support system. So at the times, you know, when she came back home and everything was fine, of course I went back to school and, you know, was going back to regular life, if you will. Um, still being a distant caregiver, backing up, up and down the highways, making sure I'm at appointments. You know, I saw her do chemo. I saw her do radiation. I saw her lose her hair and have no appetite. Like I went through all of that with her.
00:22:32
Speaker
Um, and so, yeah, she, you know, she finally went into remission and things were well. And again, the next fall, it comes back again. And I'm like, okay, what are we going to do? And they're like, well, we can do the same treatment again. It really wasn't much surgery to do, um, because they'd already removed the lymph nodes. And so it's like, okay, we'll just do, you know, chemo and radiation again. And so she goes through all of this sequence again.
00:23:03
Speaker
And, you know, I don't know how long it lasts, maybe a couple of months or so. And she went back into remission and everything was well and we were all happy. And so it was Thanksgiving of 2006 that, um, we decided to go to New York city for Thanksgiving. Again, that's where my, my cousin lives. And so, you know,
00:23:27
Speaker
We went to visit her and my aunt, my mom's sister, you know, we all kind of made it a girl's Thanksgiving. And on this flight there, my mom was complaining of a headache. Like she was like, I can't, like my head is just knocking. She was like, pills are not helping. Like my head is pounding. And so we're on this trip and, you know, we have a good time, you know, have a blast. And then we're coming back home and her head is still hurting from being in flight.
00:23:55
Speaker
So she goes to the doctor and they scan her and everything and they say that the tumor has metastasized to her brain. So now at this point, it's no longer just breast cancer, it is a brain tumor.
00:24:12
Speaker
They, you know, they decided that she should have some, I can't remember the technical name for it, but it was like a laser surgery for the brain. And so, um, the facility where they were going to do this was actually in the same city where I was at school. And so this was a blessing because she was literally staying on campus. Um, if you're familiar with the Ronald McDonald house, you know, they allow folks to stay there free of charge. And so they have a Ronald McDonald house on my school's campus.
00:24:41
Speaker
And so literally in between classes or before I went to practice, I was able to see her for several weeks because she stayed there to have this laser surgery. And so they did all of that. They said they got it. But I do believe that they didn't catch it in time or they caught it too late because the cancer had been metastasized to her lungs. And this showed up
00:25:10
Speaker
I can't remember exactly the month, but I would say this would definitely show up. Um, I would say around April, April, May is when it showed up in her lungs. And so, um, when this happened, it's like, okay, you know, we were given a couple of options, you know, surgery, not do surgery. Um, she could do a chemo in a pill form cause you know, she didn't necessarily want it like in her chest. Um,
00:25:40
Speaker
but we decided to opt for the surgery. And so, you know, we scheduled the surgery later on down the road in May, which is Mother's Day. I decided to do a party for her. It was a pink party, but just a Mother's Day celebration, just all for her, just to honor her and celebrate her life and allow her to get with her friends because I could see my mother deteriorating.
00:26:03
Speaker
And I didn't know how long, you know, I was going to have with her. And so it was that, that phrase, you know, give them their flowers while they can still smell them. That's what I, you know, was, was zeroed in on. I wanted to honor my mom while she was still here because I didn't know how much longer I had left. And that's the reason why I wanted to go ahead and do this party for her. And it was all about her, you know, everybody wore pink and.
00:26:30
Speaker
It was all of her closest friends and choir members and just the love on her. And just to show her that we are here and we're supporting you and we're fighting with you. You're not in this by yourself. I just wanted to shower her with the love because I didn't know how much time I had left. And so we went ahead and ended up having the surgery scheduled for the beginning of July.
00:26:52
Speaker
And she had the surgery and, um, it was not successful. Um, she, you know, she came through the surgery and she was okay. Um, as far as, you know, coming off of the table, but she was not the same person when she came off the table. Um, she began to retain water and eventually went into a coma and on July 13th, she passed away. So.
00:27:20
Speaker
Yeah, from May to July, I had no idea. And this is at this point, 2007. This is 2007. Yep. Yep. Yep. Had no idea that literally just about two months to the day, because Mother's Day was probably like May 15th or something like that, that she wouldn't be here. So that is one thing we didn't know. You didn't know, but your intuition did.
00:27:45
Speaker
You didn't know, but because you did. That's why you did that big party. Yeah, that's why you did that big party. I could watch and see her deteriorating. Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, no, that's it. That's the thing, right? We never know. No, none of us know the when. The mystery of death.
00:28:06
Speaker
I mean, it's similar with birth, right? With birth, we can have an estimated date and even still like it doesn't happen. That's not even guaranteed unless it's a C-section, right? Right, right. So I guess the way we enter the world and the way we leave is that kind of a little bit of unpredictability in both.
00:28:31
Speaker
So then were you at the hospital with her? How was that moment? Were you there when she took her last breath? I was, again, in tuition. So 2007 was pretty rough. The week before she passed, one of my uncles on the opposite side of the family was killed in a motor vehicle accident. And this was 4th of July weekend.
00:28:58
Speaker
And so the night of his wake before the funeral, the night of his wake, which had to be July the 12th, I just had a feeling. I was with my mom the whole day and I left to go to the wake to be with my other family and pay my respects. But I just had a feeling. I was just like, when I left the hospital, these things just weren't right. She was just too still.
00:29:26
Speaker
It just, it just didn't feel right. And I was like, I think tonight's going to be the night that she transitions. And so when I, you know, came to that conclusion, I told my grandmother and I said, listen, I'm going to say the night tonight. Um, I just think this, this might be the night. And she was like, well, if you say that, then I'm going to stay too. And so my grandmother and my grandfather both stayed, um, and my boyfriend at the time stayed as well.
00:29:51
Speaker
And so I went to the wake and then came back and was there and she just wasn't moving her things. And I just, again, I had the thought in my mind that I needed to tell her that she had my permission. And that was probably one of the hardest things that I've done. I did that a second time with my grandmother. That was horrible.
00:30:16
Speaker
Um, but that was the first time that I, I did it. I said those words and I was like, I'm going to be okay. Um, you have my permission to go be with daddy and man, it was probably maybe an hour after that. Um, we, you know, was playing gospel music and things and you know, stuff just started buzzing and computers just kind of, you know, started chiming and you could, you know, see blood pressure things dropping and it was, you know, just an eerie feeling, but.
00:30:46
Speaker
literally watch, you know, watch death come over her. And of course, I lost it. And, you know, I was prepared for it, but I wasn't prepared for it. And so, you know, it was a very, very, very tough moment for it to be in that it's like, you know, you've been thinking about it, you know, it's coming, you don't know what to expect. And then when it's finally here, it's like, wow. But yeah, you know, I was with her.
00:31:12
Speaker
So for a long time, I couldn't sleep, especially, well, really till this day, I still stay up on her angel anniversary. Cause it was two 24 in the morning. And so it was Friday the 13th. That's a whole nother thing right there. It's Friday the 13th. Are you superstitious? I was, yes, I was, you know, it was Friday the 13th and I'm like, Oh my gosh, really? Um,
00:31:38
Speaker
But I do to this day, I'll stay up and just kind of a celebration at this point now, but before I couldn't sleep, it was just, I just had to be up.
00:31:49
Speaker
just in that moment, you know, because I was there. So with that then, what did you do then at that point? By the way, you describing the gospel music playing and all of you being there, just so beautiful. What a beautiful way for her to transition in that kind of environment with her family and with the music playing and so forth. So that I just wanted to say, it's just beautiful that you guys, you know, we're all, you know, there.
00:32:18
Speaker
Then what happened then in terms of for you, what tools at that point now here you are without your dad, without your mom, you had your grandparents and it seems you mentioned then that your grandmother has passed also since. What tools did you use for your grieving process then at 21 and how was that journey then?
Career and Life Transformation
00:32:41
Speaker
Because that's a whole other layer right there of a shift.
00:32:46
Speaker
Go into that with us, please, for us. Sure. So immediately after I did nothing, simply because I had one month to take care of the business side of the death before I had to return back to school. So that meant a lot of things. So it was not only, you know, just the funeral, but
00:33:12
Speaker
I later found out, because she kept a lot of things from me just protecting me, but I later found out that our house had gone into foreclosure because she wasn't able to keep up with the mortgage. Why? Well, she was sick and so she couldn't work. And, you know, disability wasn't paying for enough. And so our house had went into foreclosure. And even I knew she wasn't working, so I had actually picked up a part-time job at the school's bookstore to try to take care of my, you know, small expenses.
00:33:42
Speaker
Gas money and groceries and stuff like that. So I hopped in myself didn't have the time I didn't really have the time to do it with everything else I had going on but you know, I wanted to do my part and help out with the family so I You know right after the funeral and things we had to do an estate sale So we had to sell all the possessions in my house That was a horrific moment of literally just seeing price tags go on
00:34:12
Speaker
everything in my house and watching people come up and buy my possessions. Um, so I had to endure that. Um, I found out her car was, was being repoed. And so we just gave the car back. Um, thankfully my car was paid for, um, in cash because I, you know, got it from, um, from my father. Um, my father's, um, will,
00:34:39
Speaker
And so they didn't take mine, but they took hers. And so moving out of the house and essentially was homeless. Now, I had an apartment at school, so I had a place. But when I would come home on the weekends, I wasn't going back to the house that I was known for going to. Thankfully, I had an aunt who said, hey, whenever you come home, you're more than welcome to crash here, stay here. My paternal grandmother,
00:35:08
Speaker
Um, you know, obviously I would go and stay with her if I needed to as well. And of course I'm only home for the weekends. So it wasn't a big deal at the time, but you know, after the fact that you think about it, it's like, dang, I don't really don't have like a solid place to stay when I come here. Um, so all of that combined was what I endured before going back to school. And so because, I guess you could say your adrenaline is running and you're doing all of these things and you're running around and whatnot. I felt like I was okay. I was like.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'm all right. It happened during summer school during summer, so it was July. And then school at the end of August or September, when did you go back into? In Kentucky, it's mid-August. That's why I say it was right at about a month.
00:35:54
Speaker
Month or so you're just kind of doing the you know seeing everything and again. Here's another one of those Secondary losses again like so in both is then again you lost your house, so you lost your house the first time The home you grew up in then you lose your home again you
00:36:11
Speaker
and everything that was in it when your mom passed away. So that's so much, Kenisha. That is a lot. You're right. People would say you're 60-something with everything you've done. Not 34, not 10 years younger than I am. And there's a whole other slew of stuff that I'd have been through. I didn't watch my car burn on fire. Oh, in the middle of it. But that's neither here nor there.
00:36:39
Speaker
Um, but so when I go back to school, I'm like, yeah, I'm good. I'm going to go back and to do everything that I, I was used to doing. Um, I know I just buried my mom, but it's fine. So I'm taking full classes, um, which is 15 credit hours. So that's four or five classes. I can't remember. Um, but I'm taking a full class load. Um, I still held onto my part time job at the bookstore because you know, this is easy, easy money to get some gas money, whatnot.
00:37:06
Speaker
Um, I was a student athletic trainer because at the time I wanted to be an athletic trainer. So I was a trainer for the track and field team. So I'm going to practices and traveling and all this kind of stuff. Um, I was a new sorority member, so I had responsibilities there. So I'm just doing all these things like, yeah, everything's cool.
00:37:23
Speaker
And I ran into a brick wall. And that happened because I got the call. I'm like, well, I was home, but my grandfather passed away. And man, me and my grandfather were super tight. And so it's like, okay, I lost my uncle, lost my mother, and now I'm lost my grandfather. All right, I'm overwhelmed. This is a lot. I don't know if my heart can take anymore. And I'm still, you know, I process the death, but then I'm still like trying to go back into
00:37:54
Speaker
the same life. And so it was Labor Day weekend. I'll never forget. And, um, I asked my coach, I said, you know, I think I want to go home this weekend. You know, I was like, it's a long weekend. I haven't seen my family. I would just, you know, I would love to go home and just get loved on and just, you know, be with them. And my coach said, no, I'm sorry. You need to be here with us this weekend. We're practicing all weekend and you can't go home. And I lost it.
00:38:23
Speaker
That right there was the straw that broke the camel's back. I said, okay, well, here's your keys. I quit and I took the keys off of my key ring and I gave them to her and I went and got my car. I think I went home, probably packed up my stuff and drove to Louisville. But when I got to Louisville, I stopped and picked up some pills because I said, you know what? If nobody's going to care about how I feel and everything that I've been through,
00:38:52
Speaker
Hell, why am I even still living? I don't have my parents. They're not gonna be here to see nothing that's gonna happen for me. I haven't gotten married. I don't have any children. I haven't graduated college. I don't have a real job. Like, what am I living for? And I decided to take those pills with some alcohol and I just hoped and prayed that I would not wake up. And that's what I did. I texted my boyfriend and I said, I love you, but I can't do this anymore.
00:39:22
Speaker
I turned off my phone and I didn't and I went to sleep.
00:39:26
Speaker
And several hours later, I got to pause and say, thank God that I'm here. But several hours later, there was like... Where were you when you... No, I was at my aunt's house. I was at my aunt's house. And was she not home? The aunt that told me that I could stay with her when I come home, I was at her. Was she not home? No, she was not home. So she traveled for work. And so she left on Sundays and would come back on Thursdays.
00:39:54
Speaker
And so basically, you know, if I ever came home, I would have a house to myself. And so, yeah, she wasn't nobody was there. Nobody was home because I came home like I don't I really random like in the middle of the day because I just left for practice. And so she wasn't home yet. And I just you know, I remember being in the bed and I went to sleep. But several hours later, I don't think they call the police, they eventually
00:40:23
Speaker
was able to like break in and then they broke in the house, they broke in the room and they found me and I woke up. And so they end up calling the hospital, calling the police and calling the EMS and I went to the hospital, got my stomach pumped and then they transferred me to a mental institution. But actually, you know what, they asked me if I wanted to go. They asked me if I needed some help. And I said, this is tough and this is really hard and I can't really do this by myself.
00:40:53
Speaker
And so they gave me the choice and I said, yes. And so I was committed to a mental institution for four days because of this suicide attempt. And honestly, you know, in the moment it was, it was horrific. All those places are really, really sad. And even like, you know, I had a roommate and, you know, listening to her story, you know, it was bad and, you know, they, they locked the doors. You can't leave.
00:41:22
Speaker
Oh gosh, they like, they locked the bathrooms at night. When you take medication, they got a check under your tongue. It was just, it was just bad. And you could only have visitors for like one hour and it was a pay phone to talk to people. Although my aunt snuck my cell phone in for me. Um, so I had it. So I, you know, would sneak and talk on the phone. Um, but in hindsight, like you're not supposed to have it like the,
00:41:45
Speaker
They're supposed to use like it felt like really like they're like real jail prison and it was just it was horrible but my takeaway from that Yeah, it's really what it felt like it was just dark and like I can I can visualize it right now as I'm telling you like it was just dark and Sad and just people just moping around and oh it was just it was it was a tough it was really tough but my takeaway from that and the the one
00:42:13
Speaker
Beautiful thing that I can say that I got from it was I had a perspective shift And then I think this is this was my wake-up call And it was talking with other people especially like my roommate that I had, you know, she was a rape victim and I mean just you know drug addict and all these other things and it allowed me to say to myself that even though what I'm going through hurts really really bad and It's really horrible that I don't have my parents
00:42:42
Speaker
I'm not going through that. I am not being mistreated. I am not strung out on drugs. I am hurting. My heart hurts a lot, but I am not that. Let me be thankful that I don't have that problem on top of this.
00:43:00
Speaker
And this is something that I also often tell people, you know, we have to have a perspective shift that, you know, somewhere in the world, somebody does have it worse than you. And I know it's hard to think that and feel that when you're in your pain, but it's true. You know, you're not sleeping under a bridge. You're not, you know, missing a meal. You know, you, you do have somebody in your life who loves you and, and is willing to check on you and be there for you.
00:43:27
Speaker
And so we've gotta have the mindset shift that even though it's bad right now, it could be worse. And so we've gotta be grateful for what we have in this moment. And so it was that right there that helped me shift and helped to pull me out of that dark place.
00:43:44
Speaker
This is so powerful what you are sharing because it is so true to have those perspective shifts or what you said or mindset shifts and to be grateful for where you are and what you're going through.
00:44:02
Speaker
uh, knowing that somebody is, and that's a thing. It's like the knowing that somebody is having a harder experience in you. It is not like, Oh my gosh, thank God for me. You know what I mean? Not that experience, but again, it's the, it's the perspective of like, okay, that person is ha is going through that and still ends up coming out to the other side. Even this podcast, when I interview people and people listening, it's it, that's the whole point too. It's like when you're listening to this, you may be feeling like many of the.
00:44:32
Speaker
instances that you felt, Kenisha, the listener might be feeling like you have felt in your life. And to know that somebody out there felt like you or has gone through something and still been able to come out of it is...
00:44:47
Speaker
also an eye-opener as well and gives hope. So thank you for sharing all of those details. Now, so you come out and then what then, your perspective shifted and then what, how did your grief then look from there on? Were you still 21 at this point? Was it still within that same year of your age of your mom passing? Yep.
00:45:15
Speaker
all within that same. So what? Yes, this was, um, yeah, all the same. Um, so I came out of it. Um, I had great, you know, great professors and things who, you know, work with me with assignments and things like that. Um, so after I left the mental institution, it was important for me to, um, continue the work that I was doing. So I did get a therapist who worked with me doing journaling and art therapy, which we had done all of this.
00:45:43
Speaker
um, in the institution. And so it was helpful to continue to do that work because it helped me with processing my thoughts and feelings, even though I had the mindset shift, I mean, life still happened. And so it was important to continue the work and not, you know, revert back if you will. And so, um, that's, that's something else that I wholeheartedly believe in journaling to release all those thoughts and feelings. Um, I used to develop ulcers as a result of just holding and stuff, not talking about it, not sharing.
00:46:13
Speaker
And so that's why I believe that you have to have a way to talk about it. So if you're not going to get a counselor, if you're not going to go to therapy, then journaling is another way of releasing all of those thoughts and feelings as well. And so I did that. I did go back to school, but I, it was, it was evident to me that Lexington, which is where my school was, was just way too far from home.
00:46:39
Speaker
So if you go back to what I said at the beginning that I didn't want to be far, but I wanted to be far enough to be independent. Well, I came to the realization that it was even this hour in this moment was too far. And so I ended up at the end of the semester transferring schools and I transferred to the local school, if you will, the University of Louisville, which was back home.
00:47:03
Speaker
And so I did the thing that I didn't want to do, which was be a, um, you know, going to school and living at home, if you will. Um, and so this is when I live full time with that same aunt that allowed me to stay with her. Then I live, I moved in with her, you know, full time, which like I said, it worked because she traveled for work every week. And so it was kind of like I had my own space and we were only in each other's space on the weekends when she came home.
00:47:27
Speaker
So that was something that I needed. I just, my support system was just too far. I think that that is just so brave and so amazing that this young woman at 21 was able to realize that too. Because at that moment, then you knew, like you said, you needed your support system close by. Now it was not about let me be there for like the reason how you went, when you went away for college and just an hour away, it's like just in case I can be back
00:47:57
Speaker
and be there to help, right? Like it was you being that support for somebody else. And now here it was the realization of like, I need support. I need to be around people that are going to be there for me if I
00:48:12
Speaker
have a breaking point again. And so that is just amazing that at that age, you were able to realize that. So then you go back, you go to school and take us then into the journey you kept on. So journaling, therapy, things like that were all part of your journey.
00:48:35
Speaker
of your tools, of your toolbox in this grief journey, then now take us a little bit into now what happened, what has transpired in the last, you know, then 10 years, I guess, after that. So, like I said, originally I went to school, I figured out I wanted to be an athletic trainer. And so when I transferred schools, you know,
00:49:04
Speaker
you know, wanted to continue on the same path. But when I, you know, met with my advisor and they saw my transcripts and grades and things, they were like, Kenisha, you can do it. She's like, but it's going to take you probably three, three and a half years because you failed so many classes. You know, you're going to have to retake a lot of courses if you want to continue with this track.
00:49:27
Speaker
And I told them, I said, well, I mentally don't have three years to stay in school. Cause by this time that we're on year four, like I should be graduating. And I'm like, I'm not getting ready to be a seven year, eight year undergrad. Like I'm not going to do that. And I don't have the mental capacity to do that. I will quit and I will probably start doing some illegal stuff to make money. So what can we do to help me get out sooner? And they said, well,
00:49:53
Speaker
Have you considered changing your major to sports administration, which is the business side of sports. Um, so not, you know, being a trainer and the doctor, if you will. Um, but still working in the sports environment because that is something that I really do enjoy. And I said, okay, well, how long would that take? And they said.
00:50:12
Speaker
Um, about a year and a half, you know, you have to do a semester internship, you know, you gotta get a job somewhere and intern and then, you know, we can, you know, update your credits and we can get you out a year and a half. I said, perfect. I'll do that. So I switched my major to sports administration. I did my first semester there and then I had to have an internship. So if, if you, you know, if you know anything about the Midwest of the United States, you know, this time of year, literally right now, like October 21st.
00:50:40
Speaker
You know, it is dark and gloomy. Even, you know, I just went to Kentucky last week. Oh my goodness. On Sunday, flying back. I was like, I got to get out of here.
00:50:48
Speaker
It was dark, it was gray, it's starting to get cold. It was crazy because we went on Friday and it was beautiful and it was sunny and I was happy. By the end of the week, by Sunday, I was like, I told my husband, I said, I gotta get out of here. This right here is why I left. So being in that mindset and knowing that I was like, I want to leave for my internship. I don't want to stay here. If this is my opportunity to leave and to travel and to do something different, I want to take it now.
00:51:18
Speaker
And so long story short, I ended up getting an internship with the Orange Bowl Committee, which is one of the bowl games for college football, and it's in Miami, Florida.
00:51:30
Speaker
And so of all places in the continent of United States, God would position me to get to the most beautiful and sunniest and warm state and city so that I could just take in all of
Becoming a Grief Coach & Community Builder
00:51:46
Speaker
that. And that right there is what helped me the most with my group journey, coming to Miami, being able to go to the ocean and just being the sun and the warmth and of course working in sports, something that I enjoy.
00:52:00
Speaker
All of that together is really what like sent me through this grief journey. And so that was actually the start of my career in sports.
00:52:10
Speaker
That is quite a journey. So now you mentioned your husband, so you're married, you have a daughter as well. So share a little bit then about the present and now of what it is you do. And again, it's like a whole 180, Kenisha. It is. It really is. It really is.
00:52:34
Speaker
So I, unless I came in here for the internship, fell in love with it, of course, you know, networking, meeting people. Um, that was the fall of 2009. And so after the game, you know, moved back home, I was here for five months on my own. I had never left Kentucky like that. I just packed up my truck and I moved down here on nothing but faith. I didn't know anybody. I had no clue what I was doing.
00:52:59
Speaker
but I just left on faith. And so, um, when that opportunity was over, you know, went back home of course and finished classes and I graduated. Um, and I decided, I was like, I like Miami. I think I won't go back. And so, um, yeah, you know, I spent a couple of months, you know, like I said, reaching out to folks and making contacts where I eventually, um, got a job with the Miami dolphins.
00:53:24
Speaker
And so that allowed me to, uh, pack up for good. And I left, I left Kentucky for the last time. Yeah. What year was that? That would have been, that would have been the fall of 2009. So that would have been the fall of 2009. Um, so I'm sorry, I had the internship in 2008, rolled in in 2009, graduated in 2009. And then in the fall is when I packed up and moved for good.
00:53:49
Speaker
to Miami. And so I was working for the Miami Dolphins. I had enrolled to get my master's in athletic administration, which I did graduate in 2014. So I have my master's in athletic administration. But in 2010, I did eventually get some friends or whatever.
00:54:11
Speaker
My friend had invited me to come hang out, because again, love sports. So he invited me to come and hang out and watch some basketball. And there was this guy there. And his name was Dennis. And he was there. And ironically, he wasn't even speaking to me and talking to me. But fast forward, he eventually asked me out and all that kind of things. And we got married in April of 2012. And then our daughter was born in
00:54:41
Speaker
September of 2012. Okay. So that was fast. So you dated basically before you got married. And now I'm totally like nosy. I'm like one of those people that want to know like all the little details. Yeah. Like the orange bowl.
00:55:00
Speaker
I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh, nope, I had lost you, so I was talking over you. What happened with the other, with the boyfriend that was there when your mom passed away? Like, what happened with that? What year did you guys break up? That's just maybe... Well, it wasn't long afterwards.
00:55:26
Speaker
Oh, no, you're fine. That was so she died in 2007. I would say March, I think it was March of 2008. You know, it was it was tough. He was with me as I went through the suicide attempt, of course, and came through that. But it was still it was still tough.
00:55:47
Speaker
And he, not to, I have to mention, you know, he was also a year younger than me, so that kind of played a role as well. But it just became a point where it was just, it was still tough. Um, you know, even though I had come through the worst part of my grief, which was the suicide, um, I still just wasn't thinking right. I still wasn't, you know, um, doing everything right. If you will, I'm still just trying to figure it all out and hoping that he would ride the wave, but it just.
00:56:17
Speaker
It didn't work out. And so we're still friends because I think that that situation still keeps us connected, but yeah, it just didn't work out. I was wondering that because when you've been through something like that, not only was he there for your mom's passing, but then like you said, for your own suicide attempt and your mental institution component and all that hard part in your life,
00:56:45
Speaker
I guess it does create some kind of a bond because you've experienced, at least gone through something similar, right? Or, I mean, he's been there. He was there for you for that. So now, Dennis, and then you have your daughter now. I think it was a season thing too. Right, right. And now you have your daughter. And now, take us into what it is you do when you're coaching.
00:57:11
Speaker
So now, because of COVID is how I've actually switched into this. Like I said, I worked in sports. I just finished the Super Bowl that was here in Miami. So I was the manager of volunteers and managing 10,000 volunteers for the game. And so when that was over in February, I had started a new job. I was slated to be the staff and events manager for an organization that does basketball camps for high school athletes.
00:57:40
Speaker
on college campuses and they do about a hundred of those across the US. And so I was on track and everything was, you know, ready for that. And I had been working two months and then COVID hit. And then, you know, universities started shutting down and people weren't traveling as much. And so what does that mean? Kids aren't registering. And so unfortunately with it being a small business, I was the first, I was the last one to come in. So I was the first one to go out. So I was laid off in May.
00:58:10
Speaker
because of COVID-19. And in that moment, you know, I was okay, but then it made me think and it's like, okay, well now my industry is being impacted, which we all know, you know, with sports and, you know, COVID is kind of running rampant and stadiums are not at full capacity. So, you know, I can't, and I am at a position in my life where I'm just not going to take any job.
00:58:37
Speaker
been successful in my career, I am in upper management in, in my industry. So I'm not going to come in at an entry level position knowing my worth. Um, so I just, I have not been able to reenter into the sports industry. And so I just took it as an opportunity to look and say, okay, you know what, we're losing a lot of people to COVID and there's a lot of families that are experiencing grief right now.
00:59:00
Speaker
Um, Kenisha, you have come through this, you know, you, you know, it took you 10 years to get to a point of being okay. And now that we're at year 13, ironically, um, you, you know, you are really ready to share your story in its totality and you're ready to actually, you know, help others. And so I just, I dove like headfirst into wanting to help others. And so it started with.
00:59:27
Speaker
actually doing a book. And so I wrote a, it's a coloring affirmations and grief journal for grief. And so it's, it's the components of everything that helped me through my journey. And so the book includes coloring pages where you will color different affirmations. You can also draw out your thoughts and feelings. There are prompts that, you know, will ask you, you know, how are you feeling? And you can draw those pictures. And then there's the writing component with prompts
00:59:57
Speaker
for journal entries. And so I was like, I wanted to do something right here right now that would help somebody to get through this season. And so that was the first thing that I released. And I actually released it on my mother's angel anniversary. You know, I knew that it was the 13th year. And of course, it's July the 13th. And I said, I want to shift this. I don't want this to be a day of mourning. I want this to be a day of celebration. And so I released the book on her.
01:00:25
Speaker
anniversary. So it would be a day of celebration. And so the book did really well. You know, still, you know, have copies, but it did very, very well. And so from there, just kind of transition into what can I do next? And so that's when I opened up my heart to the possibilities of being a grief coach. And so went through that certification. And now I'm a certified grief and life coach. I also started very recently, like within the last week of Facebook group,
01:00:54
Speaker
that came very organically. I have a lot of plans and a lot of things to do and a Facebook group just wasn't one of those. But hearing or being in other groups where people were just disheartened that they weren't able to freely talk about God and say that I'm praying for you. They wanted a safe space to talk about grief and be a Christian. I just come up, I created a Facebook group called Grieving Christians.
01:01:20
Speaker
And now we've got about 270 something people members and you know, people are able to just share their stories, ask questions, um, you know, get prayer and things. And so all of these things are just kind of manifested in this season.
01:01:36
Speaker
Um, I have called this a COVID blessing, you know, even though, um, yep. So, you know, I am a college professor, so I'm teaching two sports classes and you know, that was supposed to be kind of a side thing in addition to my full-time job. But now, um, you know, it's kind of been my main source of income, but I have to say that I'm grateful that even though, you know, this pandemic has been tough, you know, my family, we've been okay. Um, we still have a roof over our heads. We haven't missed a meal.
01:02:04
Speaker
um, you know, have been grounded, haven't been able to travel. That's something that I need for my own personal piece. Traveling and a change of scenery is something that I need for the things that I've been through. And so when that was stripped from me, it was hard in the beginning, but all in all, um, this has been a hashtag COVID lessons. What I called it just simply because of everything that I've been through now to be in the position to help someone else. It's just, it's, it's more of my purpose because I have asked, I'm like, okay,
01:02:34
Speaker
I didn't sign up to lose my parents at 21. I didn't put my name on a list and say, you could do this. So there has to be a reason why. And that's, and that goes back to me sharing my age. And that's simply because I believe the guy put me through this early enough to be in the position now to add, you know, my own personal flair, my charisma, my humor, but my sensitivity to those who are going through their grief season now.
01:03:00
Speaker
It is amazing. Thank you so much because you're right. Even just like you said, COVID blessing, it's like even just the grief blessing, the gratitude. That's why at the name of the podcast, there's that grief, gratitude, and the gray in between part. So that aspect of having gratitude, even if you've gone through something hard and knowing that you went through that for something,
01:03:28
Speaker
for something of purpose is what is the growth and the gratitude component of it. So you are definitely an example of that. So thank you so much, Kenisha, for sharing all your journey. And now let us know how can people find you? And we'll put it in the show notes. But if you want to just share a little bit of how
01:03:49
Speaker
People could get your book. I, is it in the same website as they can find you, or is it on Amazon or how do they get your, your, uh, coloring affirmation journal and how can they coach with you and so forth? Yep. All of that. Um, so the easiest way is on social media. Um, I am Kenisha Nichelle K E N I S H a.
01:04:14
Speaker
N-I-C-H-E-L-L-E, Kenisha Neshell on Instagram, Facebook, my YouTube channel as well. But KenishaNeshell.com is where you can click and you can join the Facebook group. The books are on there as well. If you are looking for someone to coach with you, if you are ready and you are in the position where you say, I need some help and I would love to partner
01:04:44
Speaker
to get you to the other side of the purpose to the pain that you're feeling, I would definitely love to work with you. And so all of those things can be found either on my social media, Instagram, or on my Facebook as well. I also do a show called Two for Tuesdays, grief and motivation talk every Tuesday at 12 noon Eastern Standard Time, where just kind of connect with you and talk about, you know, two points of
01:05:11
Speaker
Um, tips that we can get you through your grief season and through everyday life. And how do they do that show? How do they do access that show on social media? That's live on. Yep. That's live on Instagram. Yep. That's live on Instagram on Tuesdays at 12 Eastern.
01:05:31
Speaker
Um, if you are unable to make the show live, you know, cause I'm interacting, asking questions, answering questions and things. Um, if you can't make it live, then they're always saved and they're uploaded to my YouTube channel. And so it was about 13 episodes by now. I think, um, they're uploaded so you can go back and listen to all sorts of different topics. Like even last Tuesday or yesterday we talked about returning to the place where you met grief and, uh, finish what you start.
01:06:01
Speaker
I'm just in awe. I'm in awe of you, of how much you've just been able to accomplish. I mean, you went through a lot in a short period of time in your life, you know, by the age of 21, went through so much. And then right now all this shift and, you know, taking
01:06:18
Speaker
this change and your loss of your job with COVID and stuff that suddenly creating all this and all these resources in such a short period of time. Really, I'm in awe. So thank you so much. So grateful to have had you on the show. Absolutely. Thank you. Sharing all your insights and your journey. And everybody now knows how to connect with you. And I'm excited to keep on getting to know you through our Instagram. Absolutely. Friendship as well.
01:06:47
Speaker
and beyond. Thank you once again. I know. Thank you so much Kendra for having me. It's been an honor.
01:06:58
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
01:07:27
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.