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Greene Street Does Amazon
46 Plays2 years ago
This week we hit the mean streets of Amazon dot com to read some reviews and have some laughs.
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Greene Street Joinery is a custom design & build shop located in Monmouth County, New Jersey. We build multigenerational furniture with an eco-friendly and sustainable mindset.
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Transcript
Podcast Beginnings and Interruptions
00:00:21
Speaker
Please fucking compressor ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the show The compressor kicked on literally the second I started talking Oh God
00:00:34
Speaker
Um,
Future Guests Teaser
00:00:36
Speaker
so we're back. We don't have a guest for you this week. We were trying to get somebody lined up, but it was a little short notice, kind of an afterthought. But, um, we've got some people lined up, lining up, not, not set in stone yet, but, um, some good, good guests for sure. Stay tuned. Yeah. We'll announce as, as we know, or you'll just find out when the show comes out.
00:01:04
Speaker
because that's usually the way it happens.
Sponsor Spotlight: Hayfla
00:01:06
Speaker
Anyway, I want to thank our sponsor, our very kind sponsor, Hayfla, who's back up and running, got our account password reset. Hayfla offers a wide range of products and solutions for the woodworking and furniture making industries from hinges and drawer slides to connectors and dowels.
00:01:23
Speaker
Sandpaper, wood glue, shop carts, and everything in between. Exclusive product lines such as looks LED lighting and Slido door hardware ensure that every project you create is built to last. Learn more at hayfla.com. Yes, indeed.
Humorous Tool Reviews and Shop Updates
00:01:39
Speaker
So, I had the idea that maybe we would look at some Amazon tool reviews today.
00:01:50
Speaker
Yeah. We can give everybody a little shop update. We haven't done that in a while too. Well, yeah. I mean, we talked about last week. Did we? Oh, yeah. It always works this way into, uh, into the conversation. What's going on here with the internet might have to connect to this one better. Maybe it just won't work at all. There we go.
Internet Woes and Car Naps
00:02:28
Speaker
How are you liking that new phone? It literally just transferred over. Let's see. Make this bigger. Now we're talking. There we go. Let's see.
00:02:58
Speaker
This is probably a good place to go related to items you viewed. Oh, Hunter's been asleep in the car for half hour. That's, I'll just send me a picture. Does that mean he's going to be up tonight? Wake his ass up.
00:03:21
Speaker
Good guess, right? Yeah. Let's see. What do we got here?
Caster Wheels: A Comedy of Reviews
00:03:28
Speaker
Nothing exciting. Five gallon, 55 gallon drums, casters, dust collectors. Well, you never know what's hidden within the reviews. Let's look at
00:03:51
Speaker
These wheels that are supposed to be showing up today. 12-pack 2-inch caster wheels on red polyurethane wheels, top plate, non-swivel, rigid, fixed stationery. It's called. I like that description from Factor Duty Store. They hit every buzzword or keyword or whatever it is. 1781 for 12. We got 10 ratings, 4.5 out of 5. Well, this doesn't seem like it's gonna be
00:04:22
Speaker
Too exciting. This is from Israel Allard from Canada. That's French. Bonnet quality. Quality. Bon montage. I don't know what that means. Good quality. Good editing. What? That's the translation. Good editing. Tell me that's it. Just just one actual review.
The Art of Amazon Reviews
00:04:50
Speaker
Yep.
00:04:52
Speaker
That's it. Eight ratings from the United States. You got to have a void in your life. If you're sitting down to review some inexpensive casters. Yeah. Well, what Amazon does is they send you an email and they're like, I view this item. They coax it out of you. Yeah. This is going to hurt my neck. Looking like this all for an hour.
00:05:23
Speaker
There's my wife going inside the house. Hopefully she woke up her son.
Undermount Slides Showdown: Chinese vs. Bloom
00:05:27
Speaker
Where is tools and home improvement? Medical supplies and consumables. I want to know if anybody's reviewing like a fake limb. I'm pretty sure they don't sell that on Amazon. Are you sure? Come on. What would you call that? Prosthetic limb. Yeah, there you go. Prosthetic.
00:05:55
Speaker
improvement. Buy it again. This is stuff that we've purchased. Sandpaper. Cubitron. Clear stretch wrap. How about this? These Chinese undermount slides we got. Undermount. Come on, go to the thing.
00:06:18
Speaker
Undermount concealed soft closed drawer slides, 15 inch, six pairs, full extension drawer glides, runners with locking device and rear mounting brackets. Don't worry, it wasn't for a real client. We wouldn't use these Chinese slides on a real client's project. Let me see if I can make this a little bit bigger. Oh yeah. They got a 4.5 out of five. Let's go right down to the three star reviews.
00:06:45
Speaker
Tough installation from P. Mike Juno. What's Vine Voice mean? I don't know. Badges. Types of badges. Vine Voice. This customer is a member of Amazon Vine Voice, an invitation only program that gives Amazon reviewers advance access to not yet released products for the purpose of writing reviews. Reviewing as part of the Vine Voice program always includes this label. How do we get in on that? Hmm.
00:07:19
Speaker
Tough installation, the slides work great including the soft close feature and the slides are a great price but installation is really tough.
00:07:27
Speaker
A lot of high-end cabinet shops use these for their clients and they seem to be better set up for this type of slide. I don't know about that. P. Mike Juno. If you work with them all the time, installation might be easier. Two big advantages of these slides are that they don't show when the drawers are open and they are completely, and they completely detach from the drawer box. There's a big plus for applying finishes after the slides are installed.
00:07:52
Speaker
One other note, these things are heavy, almost twice the weight of full extension side mounts. They add significant weight to the cabinet boxes. Also, he's used to using side mounts. Better set up. High-end cabinet shops are better set up. Better set up how? Well, you need a vix bit and a drill bit and a driver. That's it.
00:08:13
Speaker
You probably wasn't used to how they, you know, they require the little hole in the back and the notch and the drawer and that kind of thing. Yeah, I guess, yeah, the drawer box. They work OK, but the cost effective engineering shows. This is another vine voice. Vine customer review, a free product.
00:08:36
Speaker
I use a fair number of Bloom 563H undermount glides in various projects. They typically cost between $30 and $40 per pair. You're getting ripped off, depending on the size, quantity, and the phase of the moon. I've been looking for a lower cost alternative, so I got the 12-inch version for an upcoming project. Six-pair cost a bit more than $65, which works out roughly to $11 each. That's a significant difference, but there's a reason for it.
00:09:03
Speaker
as if you didn't expect that. First of all, thanks in part to a heavy layer of grease, they open and close nicely. Their bearings
Inside Amazon's Vine Voice
00:09:11
Speaker
seem smaller than the blooms. I can't tell for sure without taking them both apart. Then how can you tell at all? And their closing mechanism looks simpler and doesn't engage as smoothly. The rear support brackets for the bloom glides are made of metal and secured by screws while these are sturdy plastic.
00:09:32
Speaker
They require two holes to be drilled into the back of the cabinet for the support slash alignment pegs, see pictures. They also have screw holes, but you need to drill the peg holes or they won't sit flush. I don't know what that means. You don't need the brackets and mounting the glides to the cabinet walls or bottom. The brackets are obviously a non-issue. If you're retrofitting to an existing cabinet, drilling in the correct location in the back can be tricky.
00:10:03
Speaker
The brackets allow side to side movement as well as in and out, so exact horizontal placement isn't very critical. I could go through more differences, but here's the bottom line. I wouldn't use these in high-end cabinets. For most purposes though, they'll work well. It isn't especially fair to compare them to high-end glides. It's a little like comparing a Mercedes to a Ford. They'll both get you to where you're going, but there are some not so minor differences. Personally, I put so much time and effort into my projects that I'm going to stick with the blooms.
00:10:33
Speaker
Okay. He's talking about these. They have like a dowel. It's a pretty thorough review. I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to say this guy did a good job. Yeah. I mean, if I was considering these slides before, uh, you know, I bought them and I read this review, I would, I would feel, uh, well-equipped to expect.
00:11:03
Speaker
Something from China, I guess. Yeah, I mean, the writing is on the wall when you read the item description. That's for sure. Where did my cursor go? What else we got? Bounty paper towels. That could be a good one. One hundred and two thousand six hundred and eighty seven reviews. Oh my God. Straight to the one star. It's got
00:11:34
Speaker
4.8 out of five with 103,000 reviews. That's pretty, pretty freaking good. 102,000 people wrote a review of paper towels. Yeah. This is a review from, I gotta, I gotta move the screen a little bit. And this person is, uh, got a poetic streak going too.
00:12:09
Speaker
Right, look at the title of this one. No down tilt on the screen, man. We're gonna have to set up a little table over there. This is from DJS from April 28th, 2022, about a year ago. That which thou fearest the most, one star. It's a verified purchase.
00:12:36
Speaker
Well, I'd always been fearful that the things I was hearing about some sellers on the internet were. I was hearing about some sellers on the internet were doing would come to pass for me. What I've been hearing quite a bit about is that some sellers are getting secondhand
Paper Towels: A Review Odyssey
00:12:52
Speaker
product from big companies who sell products at a discount. If something goes wrong with them and they don't come out of production with the same high quality and their usual standards call for.
00:13:04
Speaker
Seems like a bit of a run on sentence there. So he's trying to say that some companies buy seconds. Right. Last month I purchased my usual case of bounty two equals five family Fama low.
00:13:21
Speaker
It's a French paper towels. And I still had a few double rolls left, but decided to order more anyway with my tax return coming in and had some extra money. Oh, man, my tax returns. Let me get some bounty. I'm going to open this guy's profile in a new tab.
00:13:40
Speaker
When I got the new case of bounding paper towels, I opened the box and put a roll on each of my six different dispensers throughout the house because they were literally empty from a heavy cleaning month. Six paper towels in the house. That's crazy.
00:13:55
Speaker
Oh, one thing I like about bounties towels is that if I have a runny nose from allergies, I can grab a half a towel from the dispenser and blow my nose with it. These towels have always been smooth and soft enough to use for this. This guy's too much. I beg to differ because I got bounty at home and we got bounty here. And if I blow my nose with that too many times, I'm going to have a raw nose. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting Lee.
00:14:19
Speaker
that night after hanging all the new rolls of bounty i had to blow my nose when i put the towel to my face it felt like cardboard it was rough and stiff and hard it felt like sandpaper on my nose this couldn't be right i thought to myself so i went to the next of my god i went to the next of my six dispensers same thing
00:14:40
Speaker
Then the next one and one after that and I found that all six of the new bounty paper towels were stiff, hard and rough like sandpaper. He uses capitalization there too. Still having a difficult time believing what I thought I was experiencing, a light went off when I remembered that I still had two rolls of bounty from my previous order one month earlier.
00:15:01
Speaker
So I got them out and compared them with the new towels, and sure enough, the towels from the previous order were soft, to the touch, and comfortable to use for blowing my nose. I took a picture and labeled each roll, new order, previous order, and thought, hmm, how are people going to be able to tell the difference in softness slash texture of these towels from a picture?
00:15:21
Speaker
Then I looked closely at the picture and you can tell the difference in texture from the picture. See the roll on the right, new roll, how it lays stiff, tight and still, while the roll on the left has a bend in it as it lays softly and loose.
00:15:37
Speaker
It's okay. You can't tell by the picture. You'll still have my story behind it. And I personally have far better things to do than to spend an hour of my day talking junk about a company I've used for 30 years. Question now, what do we do about this? How do we stop it? It's not a mistake. Same company, same exact product order. And every role of the new order is stiff, hard and wrong. Oh man.
00:16:05
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I, I can't tell the difference via this picture. This guy is, uh, look at this stack of paper plates he's got over here. Oh man. He's got like a two foot section of, uh, paper plates there. Was this a toaster? Yeah, it looks like it. I thought it was a Curie. I was going to say something about Garrick people.
00:16:30
Speaker
Here's a good one. From Renee Bustat. Won't even turn on.
00:16:38
Speaker
I've had this blender for less than a year. I've only used it maybe a dozen times. It only worked right the first couple of times. The bulkiest thing I've ever put in it was a smoothie, was smoothie fruit from Costco. Should have tore right through it, but it just revs up and down, sometimes actually blending. The instructions say this is normal and to let it run its cycle, but it doesn't even come close to making a smoothie. Chunks of fruit and ice swirling around in juice. Yesterday, it wouldn't even turn on. Do not buy this. That's because you bought paper towels.
00:17:07
Speaker
not a blender um city dwell has another one star review on uh the bounty is this some kind of joke three question marks sorry i want to shift my mic so it makes some noise i gotta sit back i was gonna have a freaking big time can't get my neck which i already have anyway
00:17:30
Speaker
Uh, yeah, city dwellers. Is this some kind of joke? Question mark? Question mark? Question mark? These paper towels are horrible. All capitals for exclamation points. January 24th, 2023. This was my fourth order and up to now I've been very up to now. Up till now.
00:17:49
Speaker
I've been very, well, I guess maybe, maybe those are both valid uses. Anyway, I've been very satisfied with the quality and performance, but these paper towels I received are garbage, all capitals. I mean, cheap dollar store bad, maybe even worse. The two ply sheets are thinner and stiff and rough, and each ply is nearly tissue paper thin, and they easily separate with hardly any resistance. It's easy to see that Bounty tried to mimic their thicker and plusher version by heavily embossing two cheap thin plies, but they barely stuck together.
00:18:18
Speaker
Hey, Bounty, you didn't think we would notice this cheap ruse? Maybe you don't even care so much for brand loyalty. I'm switching to another brand. Oh, man. Where's the comparison pictures? That's what I want. We see this one lays soft and supple. Where'd we get our bounties from? Half of them are from Amazon, half are from Costco.
00:18:47
Speaker
They are a little bit different from one another. I noticed just in the size of the sheet. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well they offer different, uh, they have the half sheet and the full sheet here. Anderson's frustrated.
00:19:01
Speaker
February 25th, 2023, just a mere two weeks ago. Horrible design. Every slot and screw has to have precision alignment or screw will not go in. One of the welded bars was broken, so I'm sure this product won't last long. I need another box spring and will definitely not get another one of these, especially for the price. I do not recommend this product at all. Well, here. It's not a box spring. It's bounding paper towels.
00:19:32
Speaker
Another one saying that they're rough. Huh. One star provided full sheet paper towels instead of select the size. This is the second time I have placed a reorder for paper products and Walmart has chosen to substitute the requested brand but a different product. Walmart
00:19:51
Speaker
The first time they shipped Kleenex tissue, but it was not ultra soft, very scratchy on my nose. If I wanted full size sheets, I would have ordered full size sheets. I have already opened the package, so I'll live with what I got. But next time Walmart does this, they'll get blacklisted from my Amazon ordering. Pisses me off. How are you ordering from Walmart on Amazon? Oh man. I didn't even think that that was possible. Bounty shorten their paper towels. Salud.
00:20:23
Speaker
Uh, yeah. According to Lisa Shafer, Bounty has shortened their paper towels. These arrived as a substitute because the Amazon brand was unavailable for my monthly subscription. Well, shit, you got an upgrade. They look super weird. And when I got them out of the box.
00:20:38
Speaker
They look super weird when I got them out of the box. So I compared to my Amazon brand ones and I have one Costco brand roll left and they are almost an inch and a half shorter than the other brands. Just another name brand company trying to make more money off the consumer by make the product smaller and charging more. Well, Lisa Shafer has no brand loyalty. She's got three different brands of paper towels at her house. Yeah. I wonder if she's got six dispensers.
00:21:04
Speaker
Yeah, actually I want to go back to this guy's DSJ DJS. There he is. Oh, he posts an actual full picture of himself.
00:21:24
Speaker
He's following Jan Earl Miller also. He's got 92 reviews.
Hairpieces and Hollywood Memories
00:21:27
Speaker
This guy with an impact score of 3,591. What does that mean? I guess that's when people vote your thing as helpful. Let's see. We don't want the good reviews. We want the bad reviews. Let's see what this guy's buying. It seems like a weird guy.
00:21:51
Speaker
Electronics. He's got a high kitty 13.3 inch small security monitor. Civmo men to pay. What? To pay for men. 0.06 millimeter ultra. Ultra soft, transparent, thin skin, all V-looped natural hairline men's hair pieces. Here we go.
00:22:16
Speaker
After 35 years, I know quality when I see it five stars verified purchase from DJS March 6th, just two days ago. As a young actor in Hollywood, my hair started thinning when I was just 21 years old. I was getting roles and callbacks to play characters that were 10 to 15 years older than my age. And I felt I was missing out on my younger years as an actor.
00:22:40
Speaker
My agent suggested I look into getting a hair piece. So I did, and I began to get roles that represented characters close to my age. I'm not acting anymore. I follow different passions. That's, that's, we've heard that before. That's code for, I couldn't, you know, it didn't work out. So I had to do something else. Really killing it in this acting, but I think I'm going to become a drive-through operator at McDonald's.
00:23:09
Speaker
I followed different passions but I kept using a hair piece because it made me look and feel my own age and I felt more confident knowing I always looked my absolute best. I went through a myriad of different hair piece, toupee and wig makers to find the best quality at the best prices over the years because like anything in life there are always many variables to consider.
00:23:30
Speaker
I would find someone I like and after a year or two, they would change the pricing structure to something I could no longer afford or they would go out of business or even die. So the search for a combination of affordability and quality seemed to be never ending. A couple of years ago, I was looking for a new hairpiece distributor for some time. How many hairpieces do you need to buy?
00:23:52
Speaker
And I thought I found someone. Their quality was perfect, their price was affordable, and they guaranteed me that my price would be consistent from that point on. I was really happy and felt like I could finally take a breath and just live without the burden of wondering where my next piece would come from.
00:24:09
Speaker
As luck would have it, when I went to order my next piece, my newfound distributor informed me that my price would be double the cost of my first piece and I was devastated. Now on a fixed income, semi-retired, I could not afford this price every three to four months. What? Three to four months, they only last that long? Why do you need so many? I didn't know they had a shelf life.
00:24:36
Speaker
So my search was on once again and I think I hope I found someone I can put my faith and trust in for years to come. The price is affordable and I was told it would remain the same and the communication was above and beyond. As you can see from my pictures above, the quality of this piece is equal to or greater than the best I've ever used in 35 years. Trust me, I know quality when I see it. And we got
00:25:03
Speaker
Many pictures. Oh, I see he really has no hair. Yeah, he's got the What do they call that? Car is it like carpet head or something like that when it's just just on the sides? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the lingo The thing about toupees is I think the people who wear them think they look better and less recognizable than
00:25:32
Speaker
everybody else. Of course, they have all the newer stuff going on now. Like, yeah, it's like anything, you know, if you have a good one, it's good. But what's this guy's phone case got going on here? He knows quality when he sees it. There's a little bit of a color mismatch there. I can tell that side shot. Yeah. Oh yeah. I want to know what this guy's been in. What kind of movies has been in?
00:26:02
Speaker
Yeah. He's probably been in some adult entertainment. I don't know about that. Let's see. Oh man. So aside from toupee is he's buying dog clippers for grooming for thick coats, low noise rechargeable cordless electric pet hair grooming clippers.
00:26:26
Speaker
A two megapixel dome TVI, ADHD, CCTV surveillance security camera. Keep all his fans out. A four pack, a hundred foot, all in one video and power security camera cable. This guy is kind of sketchy. A headlamp.
00:26:48
Speaker
Shockproof phone case with belt clip. He looks like a belt clip guy. Yeah. Toilet paper quilted Northern ultra strong. Ultra soft and strong. The only thing I can think of to write in regard to this review of toilet paper is that it doesn't wipe you.
Toilet Paper Tastes and Preferences
00:27:05
Speaker
Five stars. Oral-B Pro 100 precision clean battery powered electric toothbrush. Okay. And a pinch.
00:27:15
Speaker
What? Sometimes you just need an electric toothbrush and a pinch. I guess. I had the Oral-B rechargeable for about three years, maybe four, until the battery just wore out and I guess it wouldn't hold a charge anymore. This one was inexpensive and you get what you pay for it. This is one you get if you can't afford the better one that charges itself. I guess it takes... You put batteries in there. This one you put your own batteries in and when they run out you just change them and it runs okay.
00:27:45
Speaker
I'm a Sonicare guy. I got Sonicare too. Here we go. Here's the paper type paper plates. Dixie heavy duty paper plates, 50 count. Well, he had about 50, 50 counts stacked up. Too expensive. I've been buying these, buying these from this company for about a year and finally decided to look around for better prices and found out that they've been doing well off of me and my purchases.
00:28:11
Speaker
I hope I bought somebody a nice house. I guess he looked in the store and saw how much they cost. National hardware universal knob. Rome tech belt clip phone case. He's a belt clip guy. Bounty paper towels. We read that one. Imagine my surprise. Pebble B 500 foot range smartphone Bluetooth key finder.
00:28:38
Speaker
I've been using this app for two weeks since I received this tracker and I was really happy with it. The best feature was when I tapped buzz and it causes a buzz ringtone variation to sound off. I lost my place until I tell it to stop. Oh, wow. So I was able to listen for the sound and follow it until I found my cat on the other side of the street over from mine. Yeah, cat.
00:29:07
Speaker
I was also able to follow the navigation map, which was not as helpful as the buzzer. But every bit is huge when you're thinking your beloved cat could get hit by a car or eaten by a coyote. Oh man. Today I had the back, this is a two-star review by the way. Today I had the back door open and my cat saw an opportunity and darted out the door. We just moved to this area so we are still learning the layout. So I thought to myself, no problem, don't panic.
00:29:34
Speaker
And I ran to the house and grabbed my cell phone thinking, this is going to be easy. I'll just log into my Pebble Bee account and find my cat. What does the cat have like a thing on its collar or something? Yeah, this little, this little doodad. Imagine my surprise when I opened the app and saw a notice that said one time registration must validate. WTF, I thought to myself, my freaking cat is outside running free and I don't know where he is. Well, you should have went out after the cat instead of going to your phone.
00:30:05
Speaker
So I entered in my email address as I was instructed. I didn't have time to wonder why I was being made to register for the second time on my same phone. All I could do was hope this process was fast so I could find my cat.
00:30:19
Speaker
I tap submit and it said a verification code was sent to my email. Two, three, four minutes went by and no email verification code. So I did it again. Three, four, five minutes and no email verification code. In the meantime, I'm here desperately looking for my cat and I can't use my reliable Pebble Bee Tracker.
00:30:38
Speaker
Long and short of it, just a long fit. I never received the email from either of my attempts with the verification code and I haven't been able to use the app since. My cat came home 20 minutes later and my imagination ran wild that entire time thinking I had lost my best friend because I placed my trust in a tracker that would not turn on because it wanted me to register again and it never sent me the email that it said it did and it was not in my spam folder either because I checked.
00:31:09
Speaker
Oh, man. All I need is this cat and this wall to pay and this two megapixel security camera. Portable remote control for PC laptops. I don't know what that is. It's got a torch lighter. That's later. You'll ever own five stars.
00:31:43
Speaker
Uh... 8-way RCA splitter. Must be watching some old home movies. Yeah. Dual-card tablet mount. It's a great idea, but what's the point? I don't know, you bought it.
00:31:58
Speaker
nb pure mag o7 oxygen digestive system cleanser capsules oof it works not sure about you but this is going to be the shortest review I've ever left here this stuff works it does what it's supposed to do and all you have to do is learn what the best dosage for you is and then take it this isn't a short review the only advice I can give is that you try different doses to see what works best for you I thought he said
00:32:29
Speaker
I thought he said, all I'm going to say, and then he goes on. I started by taking three pills at night before bed. Over the next three months, I went up to four pills, then five, then back to four pills again, and then three pills, and I settled on two pills. Now I take two pills before bed every other night and I wake up refreshed and relieved after taking care of business in the smoothest, easy breathing way possible.
00:32:52
Speaker
No more constipation, no more waiting, pushing or squeezing until my face turns red. This guy's got too much information from this guy. This leaves me with the balance of the day to do whatever I want without worrying about having any interruptions until the next morning about the same time every day. A review or an item here for sale on Amazon really doesn't get much simpler than that. Oh my God.
00:33:19
Speaker
He's a toupee wearing constipated video watcher. Yeah, with lots of security cameras. I don't know why it jumps all the way down to the bottom. I want to know what that one is. Be sure to keep an eye on this. Powered USB hub. Works fine for three months, then one night I turn on my computer and four of my drives. We're not showing up.
00:33:43
Speaker
Best cat harness on
Cat Harness Chronicles
00:33:45
Speaker
the market. A cat harness? Kitty Holster XL Purple. Oh, he's got a fat cat. I've been using these harnesses for about 10 years now. That's nothing compared to your to pay usage. I still want to know why you need one every three to four months. To walk my cats and this is the only one on the market that my cats can't get out of very easily when it's snug. Oh, he's got multiple cats.
00:34:14
Speaker
I wonder which one's his best friend though. That's what I was thinking. Make no mistake, a cat can get out of pretty much any harness or anything else if it wants too bad enough. No matter what a harness may look like on... No matter what a harness may look like on here in a picture, this one is better than all of them.
00:34:35
Speaker
My cats have never been able to squeeze out of this harness like the rest that I've tried and I've tried most of them out there. All the cat needs is a little fear, say from a large trash collection truck, some pressure from your end on the leash and it simply backs out of the harness because they are able to relax their shoulders of the joints and pull right out of the harness.
00:34:57
Speaker
Because most harnesses are straps, most cats can back out of those very easily. This harness wraps around the cat's neck and is a continuous piece of material extending towards the torso and wraps around the stomach and back. It's secured with strong Velcro that is difficult to pull apart even when you want to take it off. Sounds convenient. I still never take my eyes off my cat. However, come on, your cat ran away. Multiple times.
00:35:22
Speaker
Because if it gets spooked and starts to back out of the harness, I relax the leash so he doesn't have any traction. And he can't back out and run into the street and get hit by a car. It sounds like your cats don't want to go out on a walk. I'm just saying. Yeah. It's like a little cat sweater, I guess. With this harness, I am able to basically worry less because it's impossible to keep your eyes on your cat 100% of the time. If I happen to glance in another direction for a fraction of a second and he does get spooked, I feel the tug and I have some time to relax the leash.
00:35:51
Speaker
With any other harness I would have, I would not have the luxury of time to relax the leash and the cat would be out of the harness running in whichever direction it was pulling out from. This leaves the cat disoriented for a split second, which is enough to land him in the street and in front of a car before he realizes it. So if you walk your cat, I highly recommend this harness, the Kitty Holster XL in purple. So it's like a little sweater.
00:36:25
Speaker
Oh, here's a video of the kitty holster. See this cat looks like he's having a good time. Well, we got a lady walking outside with a mask on. By herself. No, not really. She's with her cat.
00:36:50
Speaker
What a thrilling video Friends of the Kitty Holster episode 2 crazy K farm pet and poultry products Was there no sound on this friggin computer this one's they come in paisley like the the Bandana stunning
00:37:18
Speaker
That looks a little too tight. Gorgeous. Friends of the Kitty Holster, Episode 2, Crazy Kay Farm Pet Empoultry Products. Look at this, Episode 1, a minute and 32 seconds. What else is DJS buying? Sahara Sailor Front Bike Light, USB rechargeable. He probably lost his license with a DUI. Product no longer available.
00:37:49
Speaker
Tea tree lavender mint moisturizing shampoo Deception by way of internet I've been saying this since 2001 when I first purchased something online I don't like the way the picture of the item is made to look so big and when it shows up It looks like a miniature of what I thought it would be check the weight. Yeah About six months ago. I purchased a cat carrier for my cat
00:38:11
Speaker
He's an average-sized cat, weighs about 10 pounds, and he's four years old. So he's not getting much bigger. I love him a lot, so I usually get him the best stuff, whatever I think is going to be the most comfortable for him, like the Kitty Holster XL. So I see this cat carrier, it's labeled large, and by the picture, it looks like it's pretty big. Wait a minute, I thought we were talking about shampoo. Like, I'm not sure if I would fit in the back seat of my four-door Chrysler sedan. I wonder if this is going to circle back.
00:38:42
Speaker
Oh, he probably has a K car. Anyway, this cat carrier shows up at the door and I'm anxious to see it because I got to take, I was, I was pinning him for like a LeBaron kind of guy. I got to take the cat to the vet in a week. I take it out of the box and open it up. I started looking in the box for extra parts. I figured I had to put something together, but nothing. I opened this thing up, unzipped the one end and my cat is right there.
00:39:05
Speaker
because he likes to get in on the action when something is getting unwrapped. He sticks his head in the opening and that's all he can get in. This large cat carrier was the size of a large overnight bag for toiletries. How big is it supposed to be?
00:39:20
Speaker
I don't get mad anymore. I've learned to expect it. Sure. I know how to check inches, sizes and ounces, but my mind has been conditioned to look at the item, not the number of ounces. So I see a picture of this shampoo bottle that looks like a large container of shampoo and the price is $17. It did circle back to shampoo. So I associate this one with the best large container of shampoo I've purchased for $9.95. And I figured this must be a large container of shampoo. When it arrives, it looks like the size of one of those little mini drinks for children.
00:39:50
Speaker
Huh? You know the one with the built-in straw that takes about three sips to empty it? No? Not familiar with what you're talking about? I don't think anything I say will stop this. I don't think anything I say will stop this practice, but I'll say it every time it happens to me. 47 people found this helpful. Man. I thought it was a mis-review, but nope, he went back.
00:40:17
Speaker
300 milliliters. Yeah. 10 ounces. Not that small. Yeah. That's almost the size of a can of soda. Yeah. Yeah. It's like with a size, one of those kids drinks that has a straw, you know, it takes three sips to drink about that size. Is he talking about a Capri sun? Oh man. Honeywell, Iman ceiling fan.
00:40:47
Speaker
Kitty Tube new gen four design insulated outdoor cat house. Oh my God. He's, he really has the, the good titles though. That one. What's the title on that one? A sinking ship. A sinking ship. Still not sure. Once in a while they get it right. And that's when it starts to get good. Rabbit goo cat harness and leash for walking escape, proof, soft, adjustable vest harness for cats.
00:41:15
Speaker
I love this harness. You cannot go wrong once your order is delivered. I walk my four-year-old cat every day and been doing so since he was a kitten. He loves being outside, but I can't watch another of my beloved kitties die by a speeding fanatic in a full-size Dodge Ram pickup truck or catch something fatal from one of the ferrules.
00:41:37
Speaker
So I do the next best thing and walk him every day so he can get some fresh air. Hopefully that's not too presumptuous as I do live in Los Angeles. You are a famous actor, after all. Needless to say, I'm pretty much an expert on cat harnesses and leashes by now, so I know a little about what works and what doesn't work, and the reasons for both.
00:41:55
Speaker
This harness works great and it's secure and it's very comfortable for the cat. The seller and I had to get over a few humps to get it right, but we got through it. They could be a new company or just getting so many orders that their heads are spinning. Either way, the end result is really nice. So if you walk your cat on a leash like I do, you should try this. I think you'll be glad you did. DJS. This guy's great.
00:42:24
Speaker
How many reuses you have? 92. Look at that toupee. Yeah. I wouldn't have guessed he's wearing a toupee in that picture. Yeah. He looks like somebody in a band. You know what I'm talking about? Somebody else who filed a passion. Yeah. Um, yeah, that's a, it looks just like him. Let's see what else we got.
00:42:53
Speaker
V8. Who's who's revealing V8 vegetable juice? Oh, low sodium, spicy, hot vegetable juice, 46 ounce bottle. Remember, the eye sees with the mind after 50 years. There are a few unbreakable templates in there. What the eye sees with the mind? What the hell does that even mean?
00:43:16
Speaker
It had been many years since I had had a glass of my favorite childhood drink, V8 juice.
V8 Juice: A Spicy Surprise
00:43:23
Speaker
Not chocolate milk or Kool-Aid. What's that sunny delight? Tang, maybe? You know, he's of that age.
00:43:35
Speaker
No particular reason other than I just found other stuff I wanted to drink more. So when I started shopping on Amazon, I started to see things I had forgotten about that I really liked as a kid. Ding dongs were really big on that list along with V8. Great combo at the same time. That's disgusting. I'm sure this speaks to my inadequate observational skills for detail, but I also would like to say that I've been drinking V8 juice since I was a kid. And if you made spicy hot V8 juice back then, then I didn't know about it.
00:44:07
Speaker
In thinking about those of us who grew up with something normal, our eyes don't really grab that spicy hot detail on your promo page. We, or at least myself, are not expecting something that's always been quote unquote normal would turn into crazy offshoots of itself to cater to trends of the day.
00:44:27
Speaker
We, I, only see that big V8 label. In fact, when I got it, I opened it up, poured myself a glass, put the bottle in the fridge, and took a big gulp of my favorite childhood drink. My mouth was in pain for the next 10 minutes. I still didn't look at the label and simply thought to myself, well, I guess I'm gonna die. Thought to myself, well, I guess I didn't like this stuff as much as I thought I did.
00:44:53
Speaker
After thinking more about it, I decided to look at the bottle a few minutes later and it was only then that I saw what I had purchased. I mean, wouldn't you be severely alarmed?
00:45:05
Speaker
It was completely by mistake. Maybe instead of lowercase letters on the bottle, better to put the word spicy hot in big red letters on your bottle and promo page so that we can more easily see that we may not be ordering what we thought we were. If anyone out there would like a free bottle minus one glass of V8 spicy hot juice, I won't need the rest of the bottle. Let's check the label. I want to see the label.
00:45:30
Speaker
All right. Low sodium's in pretty big letters and it does say spicy hot. And the picture sideways. It's, it's pretty clearly labeled. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't look anything like the regular VA label. No. Maybe that has something to do. He's not a very good label reader. That might have something to do with his constipation issues. That's true.
00:45:54
Speaker
Another phone case, Armadillo Tech Vanguard compatible with Samsung Galaxy S10. No screen protector, no problem. No belt clip, that's a problem. What is not super important is that you don't offer built-in screen protectors. As you said, Samsung already pre-installs a screen protector.
00:46:18
Speaker
Still, you make sure to point out in big letters that this case does not include a screen protector. What is super important is that you do not offer a belt clip, yet the only place this is pointed out is in the picture of the case on your seller page. I feel like most cases don't come with a belt clip. I don't know how folks down there in Texas carry your phones, but around here,
00:46:40
Speaker
Wait, I don't know how folks down there in Texas carry your phones around, but I'm guessing there aren't very many Texas Longhorns carrying their cell phones around in man purses.
00:46:50
Speaker
I have to admit I haven't been keeping up with all these new trends as they come out because frankly they come in far too often and I just don't have a lot of free time to learn about all the new fads. What I do know is that I need a belt clip. This guy is like a total boomer. So he's saying the only two options are to clip it onto your belt or carry it around in like a bag. Wait till you hear the second half of this paragraph.
00:47:14
Speaker
When I lose a lot of my free time is when I go to YouTube to watch an instructional video about fixing my broken windshield at home for just $16.95. And nine hours later, I'm watching a video about aliens building underground cities in Beijing and Nagasaki while opening branches soon in Washington, Tennessee and North Dakota.
00:47:33
Speaker
Oh God.
Phone Cases and the Belt Clip Dilemma
00:47:34
Speaker
What is also super important is that I spent hours looking at cell phone cases all day because I needed one right away to carry my new $900 cell phone around without bumping it into a doorknob and shattering the screen like I did with my last four cell phones. You know why? Because you're wearing on a belt.
00:47:51
Speaker
I realized after getting your $19 case for my $900 phone that the picture does not show a belt clip, but you really need to say no belt clip on your seller page just as big as you say no screen protector, especially on items where certain features are presumed to be included. A cell phone case with a belt clip used to go hand in hand. I never knew that. Now I can't return this case because I needed it to protect the phone while I spend another four hours looking for a case that I can use. Oh my God, this guy.
00:48:20
Speaker
I want to know about these aliens building underground things in Nagasaki. Paper plates, 300 count. Those must've been the ones on his table. Phillips Norelco one blade trimmer. Shark vacuum. 16 channel DVR recorder. Salt and pepper shakers. Five stars.
00:48:52
Speaker
No longer available. I want to know what this guy's diet. Oh my god. I have to
00:49:00
Speaker
This is a product that's no longer available. We don't even know what it is. Three stars. I have to accept and live with reality, but I can still choose who I buy from. To begin with, if this product is so popular, they need to keep the proper amount of inventory in stock. Product like this can be considered critical to the owner of an ailing pet. I have never heard of feline herpes, and I've had cats my entire life. When my indoor three-year-old cat started sneezing, the vet calmly told me,
00:49:28
Speaker
What it was and I freaked out. He's got what I said, but he's an indoor cat and only goes outside with me in a harness on a leash. Yes, I walk my cat like a dog and I've been doing that since he was eight months old. All my other cats were allowed to go outside because that's the way I was raised with cats growing up. But they all died from disease or getting hit by a car eventually. And I didn't want that to happen over again. So I bit the bullet and decided that this cat would be an indoor cat and only go out when I was with him.
00:49:57
Speaker
Then I said, excuse me, are you saying that because he barely touched his touch nose because he barely touched noses for less than two seconds with the neighbor's outdoor cat. That he now has this. Shit, too, I guess it is. Yeah. Where the the star star star stars is coming from and why is it so easy to get and why haven't I heard of it before?
00:50:22
Speaker
The vet told me that every outdoor cat has it and that it was just unacceptable to me and that was just unacceptable to me. So imagine my agony when he explained that I don't have a choice but to accept it and deal with it. He said it's brought on by stress just like human herpes. He said I have to get on the internet and buy some of this medicine and give it to him twice a day.
00:50:47
Speaker
the vet couldn't provide the medicine for you. That's interesting. So I got to the internet and read nine hours of reviews and hey, it's my kid. Oh God. So yeah, I did that. This product in the gel form was the only way to get my kid to take, don't freaking call your cat a kid, to take this stuff. Nine hours. Like this and was the overall best product I could find with the highest amount of the ingredient I needed my cat to ingest.
00:51:15
Speaker
My high energy happy strong normally crazy funny cat had been sneezing and sickly for the first time in his life and he had been this way for three days already and it didn't seem to be getting any better. So needless to say I was anxious to get this stuff. The purchase at checkout said it would I would have it in three days but it took over a week to get it because they were out of stock.
00:51:37
Speaker
By the time I had already gone to the local pet mart and got the maximum percentage I could find, which was only 50 milligrams, I had to crush it up and mix it into a batch of gel hairball treatment to get him to take it. I spread it on his leg and he licks it off. Oh my God. That's our way of getting him to take stuff he wouldn't take on his own. That's a little weird. This guy is a real kook.
00:52:03
Speaker
After four days, his sneezing slowed down and he seemed to begin feeling better, but in all honesty, he had been sick for almost two weeks. Two weeks now, just going by the calendar and all things being equal, he would probably, he probably would have been getting better by then anyway. So I can't tell you if it's because of this product or not. Finally, after three weeks now, he seems to have his energy back. This, he like waited a long time to write this review.
00:52:33
Speaker
Seems to have his energy back, close to normal, but still not 100% and he still sneezes at least once or twice a day. Don't we all? And I've been giving him this oral gel every day and will continue to do so in the absence of knowing what else to do. But if this gel worked, wouldn't his sneezing be gone by now?
00:52:52
Speaker
I don't think you get rid of the Herbert derp. I don't know what to do or think. I'm still mad. And they took so long getting this to me because they couldn't keep the proper stock on hand. Yeah. Come on. This guy's cat needed this stuff. You guys let him down.
00:53:06
Speaker
If it happens again, I'll find another distributed order from otherwise my review is mixed and my young kitty is where he is now because of some bullshit disease I'd never heard of before. And one person found that helpful. Oh, man, this guy's lead some life. He leads some life. I want to know what that product was, feline herpes gel.
00:53:37
Speaker
PNY, desktop memory, deep cool CPU air cooler, water pick, faucet, advantage too, large cat. Cat's over nine pounds. You said his cat was regular size at 10 pounds. This says a large cat is any cat over nine pounds. Oh, best harness for keeping your cat secure. Yeah. How many times have you said that?
00:54:06
Speaker
Kitty Holster cat harness. Paul Abu pet carrier backpack. Oh geez. He's got a backpack for his cat. Oh, Oh, he plays the Dario. Oh, I wonder if he's got a partner. Oh my God. This could be the guy. Elmer's craft bond scrapbook glue four piece set natural. Great product. Five stars. It's just glue.
00:54:36
Speaker
Another butane torch. He's got two of those. What's he doing with those? Probably smoking meth. Number 10 envelopes. Great product. Three by four clear plastic bags. He's cooking meth and selling it. Five, five stars. Man. Wow. That's all of them. I think that doesn't seem like 92. That's too much. Oh, it's page one of 10.
00:55:07
Speaker
Or wait, is that? Oh no, that's for this. Wow. Can you believe we've been talking about this guy for an hour? Holy crap. Almost. We've got time for a couple more. Hopefully we can find another, another gem. Here's one for you. Star bond. Premium.
00:55:31
Speaker
EM 150 medium. This is the best deal going. If you guys buy superglue, it's a 16 ounce bottle of superglue.
00:55:41
Speaker
One, two, three, four empty bottles, which are the regular sized bottles, all with caps, an extra cap, and then all those tips and stuff for 50 bucks. It's 16 ounces of glue. What are they getting for a, let's see, for a two ounce bottle of glue, which is like the regular size, they're getting 12 bucks.
00:56:04
Speaker
So that would make this like over a hundred bucks. If you were to buy, uh, yeah, it would be just about a hundred dollars on the, on the button. Yeah. 96 plus another, another four. Yeah. Cause it's 12. Yeah. 1249. Um, let's see, 4.75 with 7,000 global ratings.
00:56:30
Speaker
If I could give negative one stars, I would garbage. From Bill to SDMF, 5150. Was he like a friggin' Special Forces or something? Oh yeah, look at this guy. Oh, leaning up against his PV amp. Yeah, what's that? A music man.
00:56:48
Speaker
No, it's that it's like the Edward Van Halen. He's a Van Halen freak cause he's got his PV speaker cabinet painted like Edward Van Halen's guitar. What's this guitar? He's a Van Halen guitar. Oh, what brand though? Uh, I don't know who makes it either. It's, it's either his own. Yeah.
00:57:17
Speaker
Let's see what he has to say. I tried to glue the pick guard onto my inhaling trading. This guy's got look under his. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fifty one fifty. That's another Van Halen thing. That's a PV makes a fifty one fifty am coin comic books currency trading cards dealer. Newport, Richie, Florida. Oh, God. He would be from Florida there, buddy.
00:57:48
Speaker
If I could give this one star, I would. Garbage. What a waste of money. Doesn't hold at all. They call it superglue, but the bond is weak and takes forever to dry. Not to mention, once I used to the... What? Not to mention, once I used to the first time, the glue dried up overnight, even though it was tightly closed. I know this because the mug I glued together fell apart the next day. So I tried to glue it again, but the glue is dried up. Don't waste your money. Buy the name brand stuff. You'll just be throwing this away like I did. Name brand? His name brand.
00:58:20
Speaker
We got to see more of this guy. Bill 2 SDMF. What's SDMF? Super dope, dope motherfucker. Oh god. Impact 2746. Oh, he's got 167 reviews.
00:58:43
Speaker
cranberry plus vitamin C, 15,000 milligrams. Three pills a day, 15,000 milligrams, cranberry plus 75 milligrams, vitamin C, has ascorbic acid per serving, does what it's supposed to for me, helps me from getting bladder infections by making the bladder walls slippery.
00:59:01
Speaker
Works for me. Oh, gosh. Let's see what this guy's buying. Dunlop guitar picks, 5150 Eddie Bay on hand style. The coolest looking guitar picks ever. I bought these to add one to my pick collection and give the rest away. Too thin for my playing. I use 88 Tusk teardrops, the perfect pick for every style. These might be better for acoustic playing, but they're way too thin for speed playing. He's a shredder.
00:59:31
Speaker
too floppy. However, when you give one to an EVH fan, they go nuts because these are the coolest looking Eddie picks ever. Oh my God. Have you ever used these 88 tusks teardrops? No, no, I use Dunlops, the, the Tortex.
00:59:51
Speaker
They have measurements on them, but they correspond to a color. Yeah, which color are you using? I use yellow. I use the green Gator grips for a while, which is like that one, but it's got like a little grip to it. Yeah. And then jazz threes. I've used green as well, but the yellow seems to be my fallback. Red and black jazz threes.
01:00:18
Speaker
He's got another pack of Eddie Van Halen picks here that he purchased. A little thin for my taste, but they look great. These are Dunlop Max Grip. I've been playing for over 30 years. I use 88 Tusk teardrops. Bought these because, have you ever even heard of those? I've heard of them, yeah. I think they're a little bit like a jazz three shape probably.
01:00:44
Speaker
You've seen the jazz threes, right? No. Let's see. Oh, that was quite a stretch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think that's what I think the tusks are are more like that. Yeah. Yeah. These have a super pointy end and they're super thick and stiff. Yeah. 1.38 millimeters. I wonder how big the there's black ones, too.
01:01:17
Speaker
These chicken picks. Anyway, back to SDMP, whatever this guy's name is.
01:01:23
Speaker
Way too thin for me, however, they look great. I kept one and put the other five in my vest to hand out to people. Oh my God. Fans, especially non-players love these. Yes, non-players. Gave one to a kid in a store and he ran to his mom doing back flips almost. The price was worth it for that alone. Oh my God. He's giving out picks to strange kids in a store.
01:01:50
Speaker
Oh, geez. Dunkin Donuts, Keurig, Pods, Mystery Science Theater, 3000, the movie. Kind Granola, a comic book, Fisher Price, Mick Jagger, Little People Collector, Rolling Stone, Special Edition, Figure Set.
01:02:12
Speaker
Man, 1000 Amazon coins. I don't know what that is. Oh, there's there's got to be a way to. This has got a hundred and sixty all activity. The other ones must just be reviews with no just like ratings born in Buffalo, New York in 1975, moved to Florida in December 2004 for the sun and the sun.
01:02:41
Speaker
Oh my God. Bill 2 SDMF 5150. I love that picture there. Him leaning on his cabinet. Yeah. I want to know what's this shirt is. It looks like a football helmet or something. Yeah. Or somebody wearing a turban. Oh geez. Well, we're over an hour of reading M's on reviews. I don't know if these people can take much more of it. Yeah. That's too much. Yeah.
01:03:09
Speaker
Well, we found two real winners here on Amazon. Oh, God. Let us know if you'd like us to continue our deep dive into the deep crevices of Amazon reviews. Yeah, holy cow. Well, let us know what you think and we'll see you next week. I think we'll have a guest on.
01:03:37
Speaker
Yeah, we'll talk some woodworking and get back to business. Yeah. All right. Thanks for listening. Everybody take care. As always, Rob and I, thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next week. If you want to help support the podcast, you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. You can join our Patreon or you can use one of our affiliate links in the podcast description for vesting finishes. Again, we appreciate your support. Thanks for tuning in.
01:04:23
Speaker
Ain't no shame, but there's been a chain