Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Every Story Ever: November 2024
1.3k Plays5 days ago
Time to rank more comics on our list of more than 1500 comics stories!
We make our show on Zencastr, and you can too! Follow this link to sign up now!
Recommended
Transcript
Intro & Remote Recording with Zencastr
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster, or you want to be a podcaster, and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster. They also have hosting options. And you can let them know that we sent you. Follow the link in our show notes, or in the episode description, and sign up for an account on Zencaster now to start recording your own podcast.
Episode Introduction: Comic Book Rankings
00:00:29
Speaker
ila
00:00:43
Speaker
we're doing is we're taking placing those stories on the list from best to worst comic book stories of all time. Hello everybody and welcome to the War Rockin' Ajax Every Story Ever special.
00:01:06
Speaker
for November, 2024.
State of the Comic Book Rankings
00:01:10
Speaker
My name is Matt Wilson. Chris Simms is here to rank stories with me as well. You damn right. And if you don't know and didn't listen to me talking during the intro music, what we do on this show is rank every comic book story ever written on a big old list from best to worst.
00:01:35
Speaker
Chris, would you like to give us a snapshot of where the Every Story Ever list is currently? Well, Matt, as you said, it's big and it's old.
00:01:50
Speaker
I think we're 10 years in on this, bad boy. 10 years plus, yeah. um And it has 1,578 comic books and comic book stories. And in comic strips because we used to write comic strips, but we don't do that. And comic strips until I got tired of ranking them. I mean, look, the it is it is every story ever. We will be ranking everything.
Re-ranking Top Comics: Spider-Man & Batman
00:02:17
Speaker
Eventually, in 20 years or so, we will get back to comic strips. Don't worry.
00:02:22
Speaker
ah The state of the list is as follows. Number one, ah agreed upon as the greatest Marvel comic of all time. but Apparently. By Patton Oswalt and Jordan Bloom. but but By friends of the show, Patton Oswalt and Jordan Bloom. Yeah. by By a friend of the show, Jordan Bloom, who said on Blue Sky that people should listen to this show and find out why this comic's so good.
00:02:52
Speaker
I think that was specifically about, it wasn't about Amazing Spider-Man, right? It was about ah different a different book they chose. It was about um ah caps it of are ah Magneto putting red skull in a hole. Magneto putting a red skull in a hole. Yeah. Yeah, that's your rules. Spider-Man, the final chapter from Amazing Spider-Man number 33 is at number one, as it has been for quite some time, not the initial number one.
00:03:23
Speaker
ah The initial number one was Batman Year One, which is at number two currently. Right. Which we have talked about re-ranking, but that shit where Jim Gordon gives Flass the bat is Animal Raw. It is.
Thanksgiving Leftovers & Breakfast Habits
00:03:43
Speaker
At number three in the Ojirosawa is Pluto, based on a story by Asamu Tezuka.
00:03:48
Speaker
ah the the newest of the top three comics from 2008. Traditionally a kind of bad time for comics, but that one was was stellar. ah Down at the bottom of the list, we have Doomsday Clock, Holy Terror, and Identity Crisis. Those are bad books.
00:04:11
Speaker
And our median comic right now, which would be number 739. that's, uh, Birds of Prey perfect pitch. I believe that is, uh, I think that's the Gail Simone Birds of Prey. So that's Gail Simone and Ed Binnis. Right, yeah. Right. That's a very, you know what, that's a very middling comic. It it definitely Deserves to be exactly where it is. I think yeah, and it is it is a fairly top-heavy list So even the median is gonna be ah pretty good and that's certainly a pretty good story All right, that is the state of the list so We're gonna get into it in just a second, but we are recording this on the day after Thanksgiving on Black Friday
00:05:09
Speaker
so what What did you ah what you have for breakfast today, Matt? I didn't have any breakfast, ah but I did eat Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch. You didn't have any breakfast? I don't usually eat breakfast. Matt, you gotta eat breakfast. I don't
Black Friday, Parades & Capitalism Musings
00:05:26
Speaker
usually eat breakfast. i I got into the habit of not eating breakfast very much as a teenager for reasons I will not get into, but it's been discussed in therapy. I'll say that.
00:05:37
Speaker
ah i didn't Didn't want to, didn didnt didn't want to get into all of that. I just, look, i I worry for you and I think you should get, I think you should eat breakfast. Cause you don't drink, you don't drink coffee in the morning either. I do drink coffee in the morning. I i ah drink ice coffee. I drink ice coffee. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I worry about that. Thank you. But I, I've, I've lived for a good many years without eating breakfast and, uh,
00:06:06
Speaker
Probably not gonna start anytime soon. I do brunch sometimes. Nonetheless, I did have Thanksgiving leftovers, a a turkey sandwich, leftover turkey sandwich, and some sides, and some some pie ah for lunch. ah You told me what you had for breakfast this morning already, but I'm gonna let you say it.
00:06:28
Speaker
Well, it is. You said it is Black Friday. ah That is true. That's what a lot of people call it. ah If they are capitalists ah like yourself. ah I call it... Rude. Rude.
00:06:43
Speaker
I'm living in a capitalist society. Continue. Matt, we're living in a society. That's true. That's true. I call it, ah ah everyone, if you celebrate, happy pecan pie for breakfast day. Yeah.
00:07:01
Speaker
Also, you got to see Goku in the parade yesterday, which- I didn't get to see Goku in the parade yesterday, which is um ah like the the parade giveth and the parade taketh away, you know? Uh-huh. Like, I get to see like my two favorite dudes, Goku and Santa Claus. Right.
00:07:22
Speaker
Those are my boys. I also have to see, uh, that traitorous goblin, Jimmy Fallon. I did make air quotes. Uh, and I have to see, uh, soulless dead eyed marketing cop, Elf on a Shelf. Yeah. Together.
Ranking Spider-Man Stories: Listener Submission
00:07:44
Speaker
Two, two trash freaks that deserve each other.
00:07:49
Speaker
I had turned on the parade yesterday when I woke up hoping to see Goku, but every musical performance made me turn down the sound. And so when Goku did eventually show up, I did not. I did not see him. um But I got to see him. I got to see him later. I got to see your reaction to him, which was the most important thing. My reaction was, that's Goku.
00:08:13
Speaker
That's Goku. All right, let's get into this. let's ah Let's start with our first list. This list is from Gregory Luther, who has some Spider-Man stories of variable quality for us. Okay. First, Peter Parker Spider-Man, this is Peter Parker Spider-Man volume two, numbers 23 through 24 by Paul Jenkins and Mark Bunkingham. This is the story featuring typeface.
00:08:43
Speaker
Now this is, this is a run that I haven't read a lot of, but I know you have. I have. I actually am largely a fan of the Paul Jenkins, Mark Buckingham run on Peter Parker, Spider-Man. I think there's a lot of like... Those are two solid creators. Yeah. And I think it's a very fun take on Spider-Man at the time. Um, like,
00:09:13
Speaker
while Amazing, I think Amazing was still doing John Byrne stuff at this point, or maybe it was just Howard Mackey, the one true voice of Spider-Man, again, by that point. That one's always going to get me. Yeah. But I feel like the Paul Jenkins run on Peter Parker's Spider-Man does a good job of like focusing in a little more on Peter.
00:09:40
Speaker
Like as the title indicates, making it more about Peter's life. And it's all about, uh, him like living in a crummy apartment again, after having lived in a super nice apartment for a few issues at the start of this volume of Spider-Man. Uh, and he's, he's roommates with Randy Robertson and it's good. I think like it's largely good and there's some really good issues that the one,
00:10:10
Speaker
about Peter and Uncle Ben going to a Mets game is one of my favorites. This one's not good. ah what What issue is this? It's twenty issues 23 and 24. 23 is the issue.
Debating Spider-Man Villains
00:10:27
Speaker
Go ahead. Go ahead. Well, i issue 23 is the one that introduces typeface. It says introducing typeface on the cover.
00:10:36
Speaker
And then 24 continues the typeface story, but is also a maximum security crossover. Maximum security, of course, the ah the Marvel event with kind of a good premise, I still think. But terrible execution.
00:10:55
Speaker
ah Yeah, the premise is that ah all of the aliens in ah the Marvel Universe and Cosmos decide to just drop all their ah criminals off on Earth. They make Earth a space prison planet. And all of Earth's heroes have to deal with that. yeah Yeah. I still think that's a good premise. Maximum security does suck.
00:11:22
Speaker
It's not good, yeah. It's not good. So here's here's the thing, Matt. I know people don't like typeface, but I have never been able to figure out if people don't like typeface because typeface is bad or if people don't like typeface because they think he's silly and he actually kind of rules.
00:11:51
Speaker
I'll disabuse you of the second notion. okay Okay, so typeface is kind of bad. He doesn't actually kind of rule. Because Paul Jenkins has a history of creating characters that are kind of goofy in in premise that actually kind of rule, like his run on Batman ah which includes Dark Knight Dark City, has a bunch of weird one off stories about like, there was the librarian who ah like killed people and then put them in ah leather jackets with the Dewey decimal number ah stitched on the shoulder. Yeah, that's, that's a dumb premise. It also kind of rules. I think that is what he's trying to do with typeface two. The difference is
00:12:44
Speaker
It just doesn't work with typeface. Part of it is that he just looks so deeply, deeply silly. He does have a big Team Rocket R on his head yeah in this. I do get typeface confused with, um, who's the other guy? Isn't there another guy or or does typeface, does typeface have a costume? Kinda. He, he, he wears like a,
00:13:15
Speaker
like suspenders and has letters painted all over him. Isn't there another Spider-Man villain who also has like a letter thing going on, who has like a full like a full costume, like ah like a mask and everything? Not that I can think of off the top of my head, but okay maybe.
00:13:34
Speaker
maybe Typeface does not have a mask. That much I know. So here's Typeface's deal. He was a sign maker. Like he had a job as a sign maker and he worked for some unnamed company that laid him off. And he he keeps referring to them as like warmongers.
00:14:10
Speaker
So he's one of those Spider-Man villains, this is a category of Spider-Man villain. He's one of those Spider-Man villains who's like an employee who is wronged and wants to show them the error of their ways for being bad employers, right? For being mean to them and laying them off or or whatever it may be. Like I think Electro is in that category too, right?
00:14:39
Speaker
it's ahhu it's It's a type of Spider-Man villain. So it's not like Typeface is outside of the realm of what Spider-Man villains normally are. But he is written in this way where he he speaks in this really florid language.
00:15:02
Speaker
like I think the idea is supposed to be because he is a man of words and letters that he's got to speak in this like highfalutin method of speech. Like at one point he goes, ah, by the beard of Shakespeare.
00:15:21
Speaker
And like, I see the idea, but it doesn't work. And Spider-Man doesn't really have anything to do with Typeface. Spider-Man finds Typeface making a ruckus in like Times Square in the first issue of this and they fight for a little while and then you know they just kind of like go their separate way or like I forget why the fight ends but for some reason the fight ends. Spider-Man leaves and Typeface or maybe Typeface escapes. I i really don't remember but
00:16:01
Speaker
by the, oh, he uses some kind of like gas to knock Spider-Man out, that's what it is. Okay. So he kidnaps his boss, his old boss, and he's like threatening his old boss, but then that all gets messed up by some maximum security aliens that show up. And then Typeface and Spider-Man have to work together to stop those aliens. And so at the end of the issue, Typeface like hasn't been arrested or anything,
00:16:31
Speaker
He's just... Spider-Man just leaves him there. Spider-Man's just like, hey, are we okay? And Typeface is like, for today, A shall stand for assurance. If I will remove the letter bomb, Spider-Man, you have my word. And like... Okay, man. Sorry, just like, you have my word?
00:16:55
Speaker
You have my word. Oh, and then his boss who got kidnapped, i I guess he worked for a company called Ace. His boss blows up the bombs instead, thinking that he can blame it on typeface. And then you get like an insurance payoff. I think you gotta like,
00:17:22
Speaker
I think you gotta follow up on it, ah Spidey. You gotta follow up on it. That's part of why the story is bad. I think also just typeface is bad. Like, he's a villain who has this motivation that like, when something bigger comes up, he just drops it. This is also a story where Spider-Man, where Peter, who's like going back out on the dating scene,
00:17:51
Speaker
because they think Mary Jane is dead at this point. ah hu Her plane exploded and they think she's dead. So ah so ah Randy Robertson is having to teach him about like dating. And Peter's like, well, you know I'm not totally over Mary Jane. and um ah you know like i But I met this guy who's a widower widower like me um Because I saw he was wearing a wedding ring on his right hand. Oh this I remember Wizard magazine thought this was a who and and Randy's like um a wedding ring on his right hand means he's gay Peter like I Don't know that I'd be Peter Parker to learn about the the the things that indicate someone at a close gay
00:18:47
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, Randy, it's gonna be great.
Continuation: Spider-Man Story Rankings
00:18:49
Speaker
Like he had a he had like a bandana in his back pocket. Yeah, he had hanky code. do it Yeah, yeah. He was wearing a a super cool leather hat. And, and, and you know, I like it.
00:19:07
Speaker
I feel like that is a swing and a miss, too, in this story. like Randy, he was really friendly. He kissed me, and I think he might have been European.
00:19:17
Speaker
Here's the thing. I've never heard the the wedding ring on the right-hand thing yeah outside of of Wizard magazine talking about that Spider-Man comic. I've never heard that. that like maybe Maybe that's true. look i am also I am also a eight straight man who has been ah with his wife for 10 years. I don't go outside and I was never a bar guy. I'm not, I'm not out at the club trying to meet anybody. Right. Uh, but like I, that, that strikes me so much as like, I'm sure you're familiar with this. Like when we were kids, there was a gay ear you could have pierced. Oh yeah. It was, it was the right ear. Yeah.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah, and I don't think that was true either. Okay, I'm looking on the website DiamondMansion dot.com, which I don't know what that is. It seems to be a retail website for jewelry. Okay. But there are apparently many countries where wedding rings are traditionally worn on the right hand. Those include Germany, Russia, Greece, Hungary, which is misspelled on here, so I don't know, ah Columbia, Jordan. So, okay. But then it also says here, before 2015, same-sex marriage was illegal in the United States. However, many couples expressed commitment through an exchange of rings, typically worn on the right hand. However, since the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage is legal, most lge tv LGBTQ couples
00:21:04
Speaker
seem to wear the redding rings on the traditional left hand to represent represent their equality in marriage and to all other marriages. So, it would have meant that this guy was gay, but also in a committed relationship. Yeah. Look, he could have been Polly. Could have been, sure. Yeah. i do i do I do think it is a very Peter Parker thing to meet someone and be kind of so oblivious that he accidentally winds up in a relationship. That's pretty funny. That is pretty funny, yeah. It is pretty funny. ah Okay, so here's the thing. It's not that I think Paul Jenkins and Mark Buckingham aren't trying on this. And I feel like Paul Jenkins probably had fun writing typeface.
00:22:02
Speaker
Uh-huh. Like, he's clearly not intending for typeface to be taken that seriously, but the cover of 34 or 24... No, 23. The cover of 23 doesn't help because it the cover says introducing typeface, right? like like youre The cover is making a big deal out of this character that I don't think Paul Jenkins thinks is that important, but it's just kind of like a funny B tier Spider-Man villain. So there's a mismatch of what's in the marketing and what's in the comic itself. Plus Peter is having dreams where he's seeing like
00:22:52
Speaker
typeface style letters like you know like the letters cut out of magazines uh-huh which makes it which also makes typeface seem more important than he is or should be and then it gets mixed in with the maximum security of it all and like it's not good like I I think it's in fact one of the worst parts of this run sadly and uh Like I wouldn't put it at the bottom, bottom of the list, but it's not, it's not going to go super high either. Um, it's memorable for sure, but not necessarily in the way you want it to be memorable. Okay. Let's see. I'm going to say maybe somewhere in the 1200s, like
00:23:45
Speaker
I would definitely think about this in much the same way I would think about the superior stratagem. Okay. Interesting. Where it's like, creators I like, they're not doing a bad job, but the story just doesn't work for various reasons. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I wish the superior stratagem was better. I do too, man.
00:24:08
Speaker
I know that's another story where it just kind of falls apart at the end too. Yeah. Well, it's another story with like kind of an interesting premise. At least. Yes. Kind of that, that for some reason they just don't go with it. Uh, yeah. I'm trying to, I'm trying to decide if it's better or worse than unintended consequences.
00:24:37
Speaker
which is JMS story. Yeah, not unintended consequences, the the ah Batman number 425. Which is just called consequences. Just called consequences, yeah. Yeah. um I'm going to say this is better than the JMS story, but below the superior stratagem. So it's the new number 1222. All right. Peter Parker, Spider-Man,
00:25:07
Speaker
Volume two, numbers 23 through 24. And I'm just gonna say typeface. Cause there's no like overarching story title. I think the first part is called, the second part is called warning signs, which is a funny joke about typeface. The first issue is called read them and weep.
00:25:36
Speaker
I'm just it's first to know typeface First and oh and only that I'm aware of typeface first and only first and only yeah ah Let me see if typeface has ever appeared anywhere else, but I I Sorta kind of doubt it. Oh, he was in Civil War frontline Now did he watch NASCAR I Don't remember Was Typeface like, yeah, I watch NASCAR and go to Applebee's? yeah Okay, here's the entirety of Typeface's appearances. These two issues of Peter Parker's Spider-Man. Spider-Man's Tangled Web Number 18. Three issues of Civil War Frontline. He's in three issues of Civil War Frontline? He's in five issues of Civil War Frontline. The issue of the series Civil War that he was in is between those. He was in number six.
00:26:34
Speaker
He was in Marvel Night Spider-Man number five. And then he was in Spider-Man Deadpool. So that's it for typeface. So not only. I thought only, but not only. All right, next on Gregory's list is Amazing Spider-Man numbers 552 to 554 by Bob Gale and Phil Jimenez. This is the brand new day story featuring Freak.
00:27:03
Speaker
Now I remember a lot of the, a lot of the amazing Spider-Man brand new day, new villains. I remember, ah I remember, I love Screwball. Screwball's great, yeah. Screwball's great, actually. ah I like Overdrive, I think Overdrive has like a fun, like they're very fun gimmick, criminals. Yes.
00:27:28
Speaker
Overdrive's kind of a hoot. Um, I do not remember Freak. That is because Freak is deeply unmemorable. Cause he's a freak. Judge. Judge.
00:27:48
Speaker
Um, Freak is basically vermin. Gross. You mean, you mean vermin the the guy? I mean vermin the guy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:59
Speaker
Like, he's a so slightly grosser vermin. That's it. oh That's weird, because we already had vermin. Yeah. it' like already yeah yeah It's Bob didn't know vermin existed. Because Freak is a weird rat man who lives in the sewers, just like vermin. Can you give me ah an issue number on this again, Matt?
00:28:27
Speaker
It is 553, or, i hang on, let me see, 552 to 554. Okay. Bob Gale, who you might know is the writer of Back to the Future, had some interesting comics work. Yes. And I would say none of it was as good as Back to the Future. I would agree, I would agree. It's kind of like Sam Hamm Sam Ham's comics work. Yeah. ah he did it He did, he he wrote Batman 89 and then has written some comics since then. Yeah. Uh, Bob Gale did write Ant-Man's Big Christmas, which was pretty fun. Uh, a pretty bad Batman story. If, if memory, so no, wait, no, Bob Gale wrote the first No Man's Land story.
00:29:27
Speaker
Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. But there is like, he does a Spider-Man story that I remember is pretty bad. He does something that's pretty bad. He did. He was part of the new day. He's part of the new day. No, not part of the new day. He was not in there with them. Back to the future. Bob Gale. No, he was not a member of the new day. He was part of brand new day.
00:29:57
Speaker
the brain trust. ah That's what he was a part of. I know he did more stories than just this one. Man, this story is so weird. I've forgotten so much of this. Peter meets a lady who's basically Beyonce.
00:30:18
Speaker
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Like she's drawn to look exactly like Beyonce.
00:30:27
Speaker
I kinda remember her. I don't remember if she was in the book before this or not. she was ah If she's not in the book before this, she's around for a while. yeah She was a new member of the supporting cast like Carly Cooper. But she was not the woman who turned out to be jackpot, right? I don't believe so. Okay.
00:30:49
Speaker
Yeah. Not just Carly Cooper. Carly Cooper was good. Carly Cooper was good, yeah. um She was, like okay, she was like Harry's girlfriend. And she looks just like Beyonce, okay. Anyway. I'll tell you what, Freak is nasty. Freak is nasty. And doesn't he look almost exactly like Vermin, just grosser? Yeah, he's just gross. He's just gross, yeah. He's got like bones and stuff and sinew and stuff on the outside.
00:31:24
Speaker
Yeah, and like every time he gets hurt, he gets grosser. Yeah. Like, man, I i have no memory of this story. It is incredible. He's a nasty boy. He's a nasty boy. It is incredibly forgettable. Yeah. and And honestly, not the best Phil Jimenez art. Phil Jimenez is someone that I i generally really like. Phil Jimenez, look, this might be a bold statement.
00:31:53
Speaker
Phil Jimenez, I don't think is a good Spider-Man artist. No, he he drew that Free Comic Book Day story that kicked off Brand New Day. Uh-huh. So, like, he was kind of the first Brand New Day artist. But I agree, I don't think he's a very good fit for Spider-Man. He draws his head wrong. His head is, like, weirdly big. It's really long.
00:32:22
Speaker
at long and his eyes. Like he's trying to do the McFarland eyes, but they're, they don't look right. Yeah. Like that, like that may be like a more accurate Spider-Man head, but it's, it's not, it doesn't look like Spider-Man. It doesn't. And again, I think, uh, I think filament is a great artist. Like filament has done a lot of really good stuff, but i I feel like you can be a great artist and not be a great Spider-Man artist. Like Spider-Man requires a pretty specific skill set. Yeah, I think Phil Jimenez is a better fit. Honestly, Phil Jimenez is a better fit at DC than Marvel, generally. Yeah, yeah. ah is there a Is there a great Spider-Man artist who is otherwise not a good artist? Who is otherwise not a good artist of at anything.
00:33:17
Speaker
Who's otherwise like, you know, like, you like his work on Spider-Man, or like you like their work on Spider-Man, and then they, if they do something else, you're like, eh, this is not great. I don't know. I feel like most artists that I would say are great Spider-Man artists are otherwise great artists. I think, I don't think he's necessarily bad, but uh, oh, what what's his, what's his name? Uh, uh, Ultimate Spider-Man.
00:33:45
Speaker
Oh, that's Lily Hollister. No. Oh, you're talking about Beyonce. Yeah, that's Lily Hollister, who did who doesn't look like Beyonce in future stories. I'm talking about the artist of Ultimate Spider-Man. Oh, no, no, no. i i Sorry, i was still I was still thinking about it.
00:34:09
Speaker
I was still thinking about who that character was, who was not Jackpot, but she was Menace. She was Menace, that's right. She was Menace, and then eventually she became Queen Cat. ah Mark Bagley. Mark Bagley, yeah. Mark Bagley like is a good hand. He's he's good.
00:34:30
Speaker
He's a good hand, but like, he's better at Spider-Man than anything else. Maybe because he's drawn more Spider-Man than he has anything else by a long shot. I think he's probably drawn more Spider-Man than any other artist. Probably more than any other human being alive, yes? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mark Bagley might be the one in that category. the one He might be the one. For sure. Yeah. I don't want to read a Mark Bagley Batman book. Probably not. um Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:05
Speaker
Uh, okay. I think this story is worse than the one we just, the typeface story. Okay. Like freak is not good. He's gross. He comes out of some weird big cocoon. He's just like another existing Spider-Man villain.
00:35:25
Speaker
oh People love to come out of cocoons in the late 2000s. Yeah. ah Peter came out of a cocoon. Do you want to see a guy smoke crack on panel in a Spiderman comic? Yeah, actually. Because that happens in this. Good gravy.
00:35:46
Speaker
And yeah, this is not this is not Phil Jimenez's best work either. ah
00:35:53
Speaker
Okay, so we're looking, we're looking at least in the 1200s. It ends with, so Jonah's in the hospital and Peter has to give him mouth to mouth. And that's the, that's the joke. That's the big joke of the issue. sounds Sounds like a, sounds like a real Bob Gale joke. Yep. It's probably the best movie that has like really strong themes of a boy almost fucking his own mom.
00:36:25
Speaker
without question, without question. I can't think of any other that even comes close. Unless it's some kind of like Oedipus adaptation. I think, I don't think Oedipus has as strong incest themes as Back to the Future.
00:36:47
Speaker
And much like the the blowjob ghost, If you stop and think about it, that's really weird that that is like a smash hit movie that they would just show on TV. I mean, Marty doesn't want to. Kind of everything about Lorraine in Back to the Future is is a pretty wild thing to be in a movie that like I saw when I was three. Look, Marty is like, damn.
00:37:21
Speaker
Undeniably my mom is hot. I can't believe it I mean, I mean look that look he's not wrong. Look look. I mean he has eyes, right? Yeah, but He's also like no. No can't do it He he does not Anyway, uh, let's see. Where's this gonna go?
00:37:50
Speaker
I I'm trying to remember, okay, spawn questions. Spawn number one questions. Is it number 1295?
00:38:01
Speaker
I'm going to say this is below that. I'm going to say this is below Marvel zombies and bloodstone. Well, spawn number 10 is at 1388. Okay. It's better than that one. That's the crossover with Seribus. Okay. So I know what it goes between.
00:38:18
Speaker
I think this is better than Spider-Man Changes, which is the story that's not the other. Okay.
Ultimate Spider-Man #13 Analysis
00:38:25
Speaker
It's weird that we have Amazing Spider-Man The Wedding ranked below changes. Well, that issue kind of sucks. That issue kind of sucks. Changes kind of sucks, but it's not as bad as the other.
00:38:44
Speaker
ah Alright, I'm gonna say... This is worse than Alias the Underneath, which is at 1336, but better than X-Men Poptopia, another deeply forgettable story. That Joe Casey run, baby. Yeah, that Joe Casey run, which which did not, did not take off. That in my head, I feel like ah Phil Jimenez drew that, but I know for a fact he didn't. Yeah. Uh, it was like Travis Charret or somebody, right?
00:39:17
Speaker
Uh, yeah, sure. Uh, Amazing Spider-Man 552 to 554, freak. Is it the new number 1337?
00:39:28
Speaker
Uh, finally on Gregory's list is Ultimate Spider-Man number 13 by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley. Confessions. I have to remember what this story is.
00:39:46
Speaker
I'm, I'm still, I'm still entering this into the the spreadsheet. So, okay. First and oh, freak. Oh, this is the story where Mary Jane, ultimate Mary Jane finds out that Peter is Spider-Man.
00:40:04
Speaker
Bad haircut. wait Does a villain show up? In, in what? In Confessions? Yeah. Cause wasn't this, wasn't this a Spider-Man villain appearances? I mean, no, no, the it's just Spider-Man stories of variable quality. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought it was villain appearances. Uh, boy, this hair. It's not good. It's not good. Why is it so short in the back and so long in the front? Why does he have a, an irregular bob?
00:40:43
Speaker
Okay. Well, this is Mark Bagley drawing a lot of Peter Parker and Mary Jane and zero spider, ma'am. That is what this, story this story is entirely as i I thought it was. And I just wanted to be sure it's just Peter and Mary Jane talking. And then cause cause Mary Jane finds out that he spider ran. And so he admits it to her shows her that he can climb on the walls. Uh,
00:41:13
Speaker
And when that starts happening, Aunt May is like, are you two fucking? That's pretty good. And then she like comes in and is like, no, seriously, what are you doing up here? And now they like both have to lie to Aunt May about about Peter being Spider-Man.
00:41:43
Speaker
ah And they have a further conversation about like hey, I let Mary Jane into your room, but you can't be fucking up here It's fine, it's a fine issue. I remember it getting a lot of praise at the time because An issue where two people just talk was not common in superhero comics it It was it was different and And it's a pretty good issue of two people talking, but it's also a Spider-Man comic where there's no Spider-Man. I don't think the Bloom was off the rose for Bendis at this time, because this was 2001, I think? Yeah, would have been around 2001, yeah. um And, like, this was still kind of in the...
00:42:36
Speaker
This was still kind of when the Marvel ah Ultimate stuff was so new and exciting and different that people were like, maybe the Ultimate Universe should just replace the Marvel Universe. yeah Which, looking back from now, seems like the wildest thing to suggest, but at the time, people were all in on it. Well, it's... People were still saying that even into, like, 2011, when DC Comics just did that.
00:43:04
Speaker
Yeah, DC Comics just did that, but they didn't have existing Ultimate books. They just made all their books bad. They started an Ultimate line and just made it their line of comics and called it the New 52. But they had also previously started an Ultimate line in in a hardcover form for bookstores. Oh, that's right. For one books. For one stuff too, yeah. DC Comics.
00:43:35
Speaker
DC Comics are so good, and they keep trying to be Marvel Comics. And they should just not. Just be yourself. Be what you are. Yeah, like that's...
00:43:50
Speaker
Like, you got Superman, he's great. You got Batman, he's great. You got Wonder Woman, she's great. You don't have to keep trying, I mean, I say this right now, the absolute ah DC books are kicking ass, so who knows? Who knows, maybe I'm wrong. Well, this, now they've done it, they've done it right, right? Like they did a version of Ultimate that's like, good. Yeah, literally 25 years after Marvel did it. Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker
The thing about anyway ultimate the Ultimate Universe when it started is, like, this is back when decompression was a trend and ah new and innovative in superhero comics, but looking back at it, it's just... tedious. Yeah. That's the weird thing about Ultimate X-Men.
00:44:45
Speaker
is that you can say what you want. That's not a great comic book. No. It's kind of not a good comic book, but a bunch of shit happened in it. A bunch of shit happened in it, for sure. i Like, Starkiller was not decompressing that book. The thing that abases me most about Ultimate X-Men to this day is how they were like, we made Wolverine look different. We gave him like a little soul patch or whatever. Yeah, a soul patch.
00:45:15
Speaker
And then by like the sixth or seventh issue, he just looked like fucking Wolverine. Yeah. it yeah like Oh wait, no, Wolverine should look like Wolverine.
00:45:29
Speaker
ah my My thing that I can't believe about Ultimate X-Men was that ah but Magneto was a cannibal. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Magneto ate human beings. God damn, that snake sucks. He ate the flat pants. That sucks.
00:45:46
Speaker
Uh, here's what I'll say about this book. The Bloom was not off the rows of of the Bendis and Bagley collaboration. And I don't mind a Spider-Man comic where Spider-Man doesn't appear, necessarily. Like, Spider-Man, the hook of Spider-Man has always been Peter Parker, right? yeah I kind of, like, yeah I've got a friend who used to say, like, if I'm reading action comics, I don't want to see Clark Kent. I want to see Superman in action.
00:46:16
Speaker
And I kinda agree with that. Like, Clark Kent can show up in Superman, the the monthly Superman comic, that's fine. But I wanna see action. Spider-Man has always been about Peter Parker, right? Yeah. um So I don't necessarily mind that aspect. There's a lot of of panels in this that are the same panel used over and over and over. There's a nine panel grid where three of the panels are the same panel.
00:46:52
Speaker
And it's like like, look, I know awkward silences are like, there's kind of only one way to pull those off in in comics.
00:47:05
Speaker
And I get that this is an awkward conversation, but holy shit, Mark. Holy shit, Brian. I don't know that Mark is the one that's to blame. I mean, yeah he kinda has to be. but because theres I think in the script, the script is saying this panel is a repeat of this panel. Or Mark Bagley would draw a new panel because If there's one thing Mark Bagley can do, it's a lot of drawing. Yeah, but i how much of the truly wild schedule of Mark Bagley's work on amazing spider on Ultimate Spider-Man was because he did stuff like this? I mean, possibly. Possibly.
00:47:56
Speaker
like Maybe it is the script, maybe Bendis is to blame, but like... I think, but here here's why I think it is Bendis, because you can read other books with other artists where the same thing happens. Where it has, it's the same repeated, exact same panel. Yes, and that's certainly a trope of Bendis books regardless of of artists. Yeah. I mean, Alex Malieff does it a lot too. I think it happened in powers even. It happens in powers a lot. oh Like it is one of those things like the double page spread of just 20 talking headshots, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also like, you kind of have to put the blame on Bagley a little bit because we all we've all seen Wally Woods 22 panels that always work.
00:48:49
Speaker
You know? Right. Which is specifically for talky scenes. And if, if like, if you're just going to draw the same thing over and over, or, or, you know, like lightbox it or, or whatever he's doing to get these exact same panels on the, on the page, like you could choose to do it a different way.
00:49:19
Speaker
And i I am a, in in the scripts I write, I am definitely a proponent of the silent panel followed by the same panel and someone going, all right, or whatever. Because I think that's funny. Yeah. Doing it for maybe 40% of an issue of comics is bad.
00:49:43
Speaker
I think this issue is very much a mixed bag. Also, Aunt May looks like she's about to ask to speak to the manager. Oh, sure. Aunt May, ultimate Aunt May definitely had that kind of energy, for sure. Absolutely. Like, like, isn't anyone working here? Uh, that, okay. So like, I think this issue has a lot of downsides in that,
00:50:19
Speaker
There is essentially no action. It's very talky. You've cited some art problems. But I do think this is an example of Bendis really doing a good job of making you connect to characters through dialogue. The way Peter and Mary Jane are written here Makes you like them a lot and particularly like them together.
00:50:52
Speaker
he So the whole thing where it's like, oh, it may is going to catch them or it may thinks they're having sex or whatever. Like. They have a secret that's not that that may doesn't know about that then can be played for like some. Some drama, you know, and it is and like.
00:51:15
Speaker
the ending with Peter being like elated that he's now shared this secret with Mary Jane and they have this connection together and it's like boosted their relationship and and they have something that they share that's only between them. Like that's what's good about this story. And why I think of the three Gregory sent us, it's the definitely the best of the three. Like I would rather this story where there's no villain introduced but there's a lot of growth between two characters than a villain who you never think about again and who sucks really bad. How do you take into account the fact that this takes away Mary Jane figuring out Peter as Spider-Man, which is a thing that that we like about like 616 Mary Jane?
00:52:13
Speaker
Yeah. Or does that matter when it's an ultimate book? Um, Oh, okay. Yeah. She didn't know at all. I guess, uh, for some reason, i don't I don't think she later reveals that that she she knew all along. I don't, I don't think no. Cause her reaction to him saying that he's Spider-Man is, is to laugh like a surprise laugh. Um, and then he has to prove it to her.
00:52:42
Speaker
Like, i think I think the Mary Jane who figures out that Peter was Spider-Man because he saw her he she saw him climbing through a window or whatever. I do prefer that, but I and also understand why this is going out of its way to be different. Like, that that makes this Peter a little bit more open. You know what I mean?
00:53:11
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I liked Ultimate Peter kind of telling, you know, Mary Jane and and Aunt May eventually that like, he's Spider-Man. Like, i I think that's a good as much drama as that kind of takes away from Peter, like it's also drama that we've seen a million times. And I think that's fine. Right. And and like, I think it it it gives, it adds additional drama. Yeah. I think one of Bendis' better decisions was to understand that that was well trod ground and he could do something different with this, with this version of Peter. Uh,
00:53:53
Speaker
So your point of comparison was Ultimate X-Men. I think this is better than Ultimate X-Men 1-6. I would say you are correct. Which we have at number 1024.
00:54:08
Speaker
ah I think it's better than Sensational Spider-Man numbers 13-15, the Savage Land story, which I bought some and original art from years ago.
00:54:21
Speaker
ah that now my friend Sean has. um
00:54:28
Speaker
It ain't as good as Gib versus Bishop Nuff said. That shit's pretty good. I don't know why it's so long, Wes, because that shit's pretty good. ah It ain't as good as the origin of Snake Eyes. I'm okay with putting it below poo butt, because I just don't want to argue about it. Good.
00:54:50
Speaker
Yeah, I do have meat tank. It's above meat tank though. I'm going to put it between these two Nancy strips that we have at 1000 to 1001. Okay. So it's the number 1001 ultimate spider and number 13 confessions. Confessions. This is my confession. Do you think of a Britt Bendis was thinking about usher when he, when he wrote that? Oh, all the time. Yeah.
00:55:19
Speaker
Yeah, just constantly thinking about Usher is what I assume is happening. ah Okay, next is a list from David LaRoss, which, as far as I can tell, has no theme.
00:55:36
Speaker
First on David's list. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay. Matt, you gotta give me time to put it in the in the spreadsheet. I've got a lot of data to enter. There's so much data. i've like I have to have to get the data in. There's so much data.
00:55:50
Speaker
All right, let me know what you think. There's so much lore. There's so much... What was the third one's name? B4? B4. Yeah.
00:56:02
Speaker
B4. Remember how Data's mom is also a robot? Oh, right, yeah. I don't think you've gotten to that episode in your rewatch yet. I haven't, but I remember that that's true. I did get to the one, I felt like a real dummy when I forgot that Picard's heart. He had a fake heart because he got stabbed during a game of Domjot. Because all all the entire episode of tapestry is about that.
00:56:34
Speaker
yeah madam All right. Simultaneously the straightest and gayest Captain Picard ever was on that show. Very much this very much true. Yes. Yes. All right. Are you ready for this list from David LaRocce? Hell yes, I'm ready for this list, baby. All right. First on David's list is Don Rosa's final Scrooge comic. Oh, the old castle's other secret or a letter from home. Oh,
00:57:05
Speaker
I don't know if I've read this one. It's in the life and times hardcover. Oh, okay. Then I've definitely read it. But it's, he insists that it's not part of the life and times story.
00:57:19
Speaker
Okay. Well, wait, which, which collection is it in? Cause I had the paperbacks, but I also had the paperback, uh, life and times companion.
00:57:30
Speaker
Oh, this story is from much later than you would think. It is from 2004. Yeah. It's called The Old Castle's Other Secret. Let's see. it's ah Let me see if I can find this sucker. Because it was it was published as part of the Uncle Scrooge book that was coming out at the time. It was Uncle Scrooge 342.
00:57:59
Speaker
Is that right? yeah uncle screwge forty two Yes, that's what it says on the cover. So. Let's see.
00:58:18
Speaker
OK, here we go. Do you remember any of the story? It's like. It's like screwed with the Knights Templar.
00:58:29
Speaker
I mean, that seems pretty good. I mean, I bet it kicks ass. Yeah. And I bet there's an undercurrent of... I bet there's a real undercurrent in Don Rose's last Scrooge story. Of... of ah grumpiness? Yeah, maybe a little grumpiness.
00:58:57
Speaker
maybe justified jumpiness.
00:59:02
Speaker
Uh, I don't think I've read this story. Wow. Okay. This is, this is one we should, we should come back around to then. Yeah. I would love to, I would love to read this. Yeah. I think this might be our next catch up. I know it's just one like single issue story. Basically it's broken up into three parts in the issue.
00:59:27
Speaker
Well, the the the middle issue, or the the story between them is not part of the story. It's a Beagle Boys story. No, no, no. There's there's a Beagle Boys story and a, I think, a gyro gearloose story. Okay. In between the three parts. Oh, okay. But there this story is broken up into three parts in this one issue. This issue also has like a Karl Barks' Magic of the Spell story. That's pretty exciting.
00:59:59
Speaker
ah so So we had i read this for catch up. In fact, commentary by Don Rosa i attempt printed in the issue the first sentence my eyes hit reading the the Don Rosa commentary. I won't waste time here explaining who the Templars were.
01:00:21
Speaker
I love that grumpy man.
01:00:29
Speaker
I covered the true history of the Society of Knights in the story. In the story about the talking duck who has a lot of money. Okay. Let's for sure, sure do this last Don Rosa Scrooge story for comics catch up for January. Absolutely. Because it's it's wild that we haven't we can't rake this.
Doom Patrol's Danny the Street
01:00:58
Speaker
like yeah This feels like one we definitely shit should have read. So ah David, I think you got us a catch-up candidate. Next on David's list is Doom Patrol, volume two, numbers 35 to 37 by Grant Morrison, Richard Case, Mark McKenna, Daniel Vazzo, and John Workman. This is the story that introduces Danny of the Street.
01:01:24
Speaker
ah That's a good one. It's good. Yeah, I have definitely read that one This is the first comic that we've talked about here that I well, I guess I definitely read oh um um Ultimate spider-man number 13 when it came out. Yeah. Oh Boy, you know I've read this one Yeah, it's good it's really good let's the issue numbers on this it is 35 through 37 and 35, 37. Yeah. Um, taking the streets a good ass character. A great idea. Like a true idea. Great idea. Like a great idea on like 15 levels, like a sentient street that communicates through like signs and like, uh, like
01:02:18
Speaker
Smoke and like things that just appear on a street. That's a good idea an entire street that like Brigadoon sits ass around the world. That's a good idea a Street that's gay Also a great idea I used to live on one of those Really in Chicago. Yeah ah You can't tell me that That the street in Boys Town that I lived on was not gay
01:02:49
Speaker
I mean, technically, I guess I did not live on Halstead. I lived on a side street to it. But nonetheless, that like, I know it's a very I know it's a very like, God, when is this 1990? I know it's a very early idea. 1990. Yeah. late you know Yeah. ah A very early like,
01:03:16
Speaker
you know, representation of ah queerness in comics. the fact that Danny the Street has businesses that are like an army navy surplus store and a gun store and a hardware store but they're all it like decorated with flowers and pink curtains and like elaborate cursive writing to indicate that Danny a street is gay that's so fucking good that's such a like
01:03:51
Speaker
It's, it's like, it is like playing with a stereotype, right? Yeah. But in a way that's like weird and surreal and also like, like subtle in its own kind of way. Like there are definitely people who read this and didn't get that Danny was gay.
01:04:19
Speaker
Yes, because I've seen where people are still surprised about it. Well, and to their credit, one does not generally think of of geographic features as having a sexuality, although maybe they do. I like and now these days. Now they do. Yeah. Yeah. In a post Danny the Street world, people are always talking about I saw someone get mad at like the smaller carts at the grocery store. Oh, yes. People do get mad. I use a smaller cart every time I go, because I ain't buying that many groceries. Yeah. they like I don't have that many groceries. They're easier to push around. They're easier to get stuff out of. And the and they're not you're not like having to like dodge people. like There's a very good reason to use the smaller cart. It's not like I'm a diminutive person.
01:05:16
Speaker
Yeah. I'll tell you what people, there are people out there who get out of their cyber trucks and they do not want that little cart. No, they sure don't. i mean think and They think that is a masculinity is a prism. It sure is. i I saw somebody like some Fox news guy talking about how real men don't wish other men happy birthday. And it's like,
01:05:46
Speaker
To be masculine in the way you think people should be masculine, can they not have fun or be happy at all ever? It feels like it's a lot of effort to make your life worse. Miserable, yeah. Yeah, to to be miserable. I don't need help being miserable. No, I'm great at it. Yeah, um' I've got years of practice on that. Yeah. Anyway,
01:06:15
Speaker
We're off the topic. This story... But we're kind of on the topic of these issues. Yes. but yes i mean that that This story does kind of raise that. and like The whole concept is that Danny of the Street is threatening to certain forces that want to change it and destroy it and so that's what the story ends up being about and uh and yeah it's like on the on just the idea of danny the street alone it's really good but then it's got all the other doom patrol stuff going on at the same time like the introduction of Persephone and all of that stuff um
01:07:11
Speaker
Doom Patrol good. i i recently like I haven't gotten back to that reread because I've gone off on the other things, but I was rereading much of the Morris and Doom Patrol a while back, and it holds up. It really holds up. It's one of those comics that is like that kind of puts the lie to things being of their time. Cause this, this is very much an of its time 1990 ass comic book with some of their time, 1990 ass ideas, but that ideas that were on the right side of history by a march. Right. Yeah. That, that kind of, that holds up like there's a reason that they put Danny, the street on that, uh, zoom patrol show. Well, it's interesting how,
01:08:04
Speaker
Well, so much of the Doom Patrol show was just Morrison stories, you know, like, but, uh, it's interesting how like we look back at ultimate Spider-Man, which is from 25 years ago. And that feels kind of dated in presentation, you know, yeah but we look back at Doom Patrol and but Not to say that there aren't things that definitely make it seem dated in terms of like, the art and other elements of the story. But like, there's a, there's, I feel like there's a ah greater timelessness to Doom Patrol, which is 10 years older than there is even to Ultimate Spider-Man. Yeah.
01:09:05
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, no, uh, Danny the Street, pretty good. Danny the Street, good. Danny the Street, good. Uh, that's a good ass comic, man. Uh, where does it go on the, I mean, it's, it's the first to know Danny the Street pretty solid. I think it holds up with maybe not any other grant Doom Patrol story, but certainly as good as much of the run. I'm you know looking ah in my notes column where I have listed various first syndos. Like we've got Wiz Comics number two at 535, which is the first to know of Captain Marvel Shazam.
01:09:59
Speaker
ah That's a pretty good one. I don't know if it goes higher than that, but like, but above that, for some reason, we do have Terror Assault or Amwat.
01:10:16
Speaker
Can we rank Danny the Street in all good consciousness? Can we rank Danny the Street's first appearance below Terror Assault or Amwat? One Memoir on Terror, a book I did reread recently?
01:10:34
Speaker
All right. Our top doom patrol story is the painting that eight Paris, which is at 694. I think this is great. Yeah. You think this is better than the painting that eight Paris? I think it's better than the painting that eight Paris. Okay. Well then this, oh, okay. Yeah. Um, what is a good bit higher than that? Yeah. I'm what is in the five hundreds. All right. Look, I would put this above on what I would put it above.
01:11:03
Speaker
Mr. Boop, book one. I would put it above Batman 666, another Grant story. It's got to go above the Marvel team-up with the not ready for primetime players. I think it's above JoChill and Hel. Is it better than Seven Soldier's Shining Knight, which is at 509? Shining Knight?
01:11:25
Speaker
oh
01:11:28
Speaker
Man, Shining Night's pretty fucking good. Shining Night's got that, not while One Night of Camelot still stands. That shit is tight. Yeah. ah Okay, I don't think it's as good as Assassination. Okay. Is it as good as the Simonson Orion miniseries? Uh, that's just the first four of the ongoing.
01:11:52
Speaker
Oh, okay. Sorry. So I would say it's better than those, but it's not as good as the one where Orion, uh, fights dark side. All right. So this is the new number five 11, I think above the Orion first four issues for Ryan, but below assassin nation. Uh, so doom patrol, uh, numbers, 30, 35 to 37.
01:12:23
Speaker
And I'm just going to call it Danny the Street because there's no like overarching story title. By, by north Carolina's own Richard Case. That's right. Although not all of it is. The second issue is by Kelly Jones. Kelly Jones. Yeah.
01:12:49
Speaker
Box of Delights is the title of that story. Like, each issue has its own individual title, but not, uh... I gotta say, I don't love the Kelly Jones art in the second issue. I I like Kelly Jones drawing weird Vertigo stuff more than I like Kelly Jones drawing Batman. Sure, it's probably a better fit for that, yeah. I think when Richard Case comes back in the third issue, though, it's better. Uh, Kelly Jones...
01:13:22
Speaker
I think is really good at this, except for Kelly Jones's Robot Man is extremely off model. Yeah. And when Persephone shows up at the end of that issue, she doesn't look quite right either. And then she looks exactly like you think she would in a Doom Patrol comic, the next issue.
Future Comic Plans & Unranked Submissions
01:13:42
Speaker
Finally on David's list, we have to decide whether we can rank this based on our decision of not reading, uh, ranking strips anymore.
01:13:52
Speaker
Dinosaur Comics for April 7th, 2023. No. No. Disqualified. No more strips, even Dinosaur Comics.
01:14:06
Speaker
All right, so it's so it is spoken. Our next list is from- I'm curious to know what that Dinosaur Comics was though. I could send it to you. Okay, send it to me. All right, here we go.
01:14:22
Speaker
sense it is it's about cells uh-huh like like perfect cell only in the most tangential way okay so this is a comic about ranking oh yes it's about it's about ranking cells the cells in your body yeah yeah we're not writing this this is a comic strip this and this is about us This is a call out. This this is rude. This is Ryan North calling us out. Is this Ryan North calling us out? Ryan North, friend of the show. Or is this about the submitter calling us out? I think both. I think Ryan is calling us out and the submitter is calling us out.
01:15:12
Speaker
That's my theory. that all we do All we do is try to bring joy to people. That's all we do. All we do is try to brighten up this fallen ass earth. Look, all we do, there is a piece of marble in front of us. And all we do is chip away at it to reveal the so the list underneath, the beautiful sculpture that is in Every Story Ever list. So to to say that we have any hand at all in this process,
01:15:44
Speaker
is misinformed. We are merely chipping away the marble to show what is already underneath. We do also like to rank things in other contexts though. Yeah, that's true. In order to bring joy into people's ah shadowed lives. Look, this is a dark time and we need joy and we're simply trying to provide that. I don't know why
01:16:14
Speaker
I don't know why anyone would, would, ah I'm honestly upset right now, Matt. I don't know why I have to be persecuted like this. All right. It's, it's hard. It's hard out here. It is. It's hard out here. Um, all right, here's our next list. It's from Isaac Jansens. And Isaac calls this list two comics I sometimes sit and think about plus one that sounds book wild. I haven't read.
01:16:43
Speaker
Okay, but you think but you think we have, all right. First is Shield by Jonathan Hickman and Dustin Weaver, which I read. You're gonna have to say that for Hickmania. I've read the Shield part of Hickmania. We can rank it. I have not, so. We can rank it, I can rank it. But I mean, here's the thing, Matt, we know we're both gonna read it again. That's true, and also,
01:17:12
Speaker
Isaac has some stuff in here I don't think I have read. There's shield volume one, numbers one through six. Shield volume two, numbers one through six. I think I've read both of those. But I have not read shield infinity.
01:17:26
Speaker
So I guess if we want to just save it for Hickmania, we can do that. Resubmit that after Hickmania. All right. Next on the list then.
01:17:42
Speaker
is The Wicked and the Divine by Kieran Gillan and Jamie McKelvie, which is you know all 45 issues. I did not finish a wicked. I did enjoy what I read of it, but I don't know. Had to go read some Jeff Johns comics or something. Had to go read something we hated instead of something we do, we would like. Yeah.
01:18:05
Speaker
Because all we're trying to do is make you happy, listener. Look, it's not entertaining for us to talk about things we like. It's entertaining us for us to talk about things we hate. And so we read a lot of those. It's also good. I would hope it's at least a little bit entertaining to talk about things we like. I mean, I would hope, yeah. Because we we i mean we do that sometimes. We're pretty funny.
01:18:29
Speaker
I would hope. I hope so. I hope people think that. ah I mean, if they're an hour and if they're an hour plus into this, I hope they think we're funny. Yeah, yeah, one would hope.
01:18:41
Speaker
um
01:18:44
Speaker
All right, we're going to save. Oh, OK, we can't do Wicked and Divine because we neither of us ever finished it. Which that that's too many comics to do for a catch up, too. That's too many to do for a comics catch up, but it is ah it is something I would like to read all of.
01:19:01
Speaker
Me too. I would, I would like to sit down and read, just like read it all at some point for sure. Uh, third on Isaac's list is amazing Spider-Man sinister war by Nick Spencer at all. Uh, which is a thing about sins path. It's like an attempt to to fix sins past by getting the gathering of five mixed into it.
01:19:29
Speaker
I guess we gotta read this. i i I didn't read a ton of the Nick but Spencer Spider-Man run. Me either, but honestly putting it like that. Like, I guess it was a separate miniseries ah by Nick Spencer, Mark Bagley, and many other artists.
01:19:59
Speaker
And yeah yeah, I mean, if, if it invokes the gathering of five, we might have to, we might have to. Yeah. All right. This, is this going to be our February comics catch up? we're We're booking the year, man. We're already booking out the year. Yeah. Uh, all right. So that Scrooge story in January and sinister war in February.
01:20:31
Speaker
ah I guess maybe we should read the Amazing Spider-Man tie-ins, too. i'll I'll see what actually is involved in that entire story.
01:20:44
Speaker
ah the ah the The backup on Isaac's list is Secret Warriors by Jonathan Hickman et al., which I've also read, but also maybe we gotta keep it for he'll make Mania. I didn't finish it. so i did I read the whole thing.
01:21:00
Speaker
ah Uh... I don't know if we're gonna do Secret Warriors for Hickmania. I think Hickmania's probably gonna start with Shield. I mean... I mean... Let's go ahead and rank Secret Warriors, because I read the whole thing. Okay, I don't recall it. It's good. It's fun. I don't even recall anything that I read about it. No, I'm not surprised that it's good. But but this is gonna be all you then.
01:21:30
Speaker
Okay, I don't have a ton to say about it other than it's good um Like It it was the secret warriors were Nick Fury's post shield team that he put together um Or yeah during dark rain and and I guess the key one is Daisy Johnson, who is also the lead character from the SHIELD TV show. But it also had ah Dr. Druid's son and Ares' son. it's it's a lot It's all kids of like prominent Marvel characters. Now, Matt, i'm I'm confused by your use of the word prominent.
01:22:30
Speaker
When you have previously said the word Dr. Druid. Yeah, okay. B-Listers, I guess. um Because the secret of Daisy is that, spoiler alert, she's Mr. Hyde's daughter. Oh, okay. The Griffin's daughter is in there. Phantom Rider's grandson is in there.
01:22:57
Speaker
ah I think that like that they're all the kids of various Marvel characters is a reveal at some point in the series as I recall. Okay. But yeah, it's a fun, it's a fun book. It's, it's, it's the shield book when there's no shield. Okay. ah And I think in the book, they're actually called team white, which I don't know, maybe.
01:23:27
Speaker
maybe Maybe that's worth rethinking. um Although, oh, yeah, okay, so they they first appeared in New Avengers.
01:23:42
Speaker
ah But then Hickman took that idea and made the the whole series about them. but But not the Hickman New Avengers. No, in the Bendis New Avengers. In the Bendis New Avengers.
01:23:57
Speaker
um because this was like oh nine yeah I think ah okay here's the thing okay here's yeah okay this is just that volume one secret warriors because then there was a 2017 secret warrior series but it was pretty different ah That was a Matthew Rosenberg thing, not a Hickman thing. Okay. I think Secret Warriors should probably go around number 500-ish. Does Secret Warriors tie into Secret Wars at all? ah In that it is one of many Hickman comics that build up to the eventual
01:24:54
Speaker
hick mania climax that is secret wars okay cuz cuz if what it ties into what it ties into more than secret wars is secret war that would be in the secret war was not good no it's not good but it's it's that same fury that like same Nick Fury, who's not like, cause shield is gone at this time. And so Nick Fury is working behind the scenes to do a bunch of stuff. Okay. That's, that's what it ties into more. That's why it's called secret warriors. Cause he's the man on the wall. Yeah. Yeah. remember that I do. I do. All right. I think this probably goes below Danny, the street, which is at five 11. We just did that. We just ranked that.
01:25:45
Speaker
a
01:25:49
Speaker
Swamp Thing number one is at 537.
01:25:56
Speaker
I think this should go above Tomb of Dracula number 10. Okay. Which is at 541. But it probably shouldn't go above Captain America Comics number one. Alright, which first to know Captain America. Yeah, so this is the number 541.
01:26:15
Speaker
And I'm just going to say secret warrior warriors, volume one. Uh, cause that's what it is. Like it's good, but the Hickman stuff, the later Hickman stuff is better.
01:26:32
Speaker
So we got to, we got to leave some room for that stuff at the top of the top of the list, higher up. All right. Uh, all right. Our next list is from Robert Headley.
01:26:47
Speaker
but Sorry, what was that man? Robert Headley. Okay. And ah I don't know that there's any pure theme to this list. First is Finding Batman by Kevin Conroy.
01:27:06
Speaker
that one it's actually you have a it's the It's just that little short from the the DC Pride special from a couple years ago. I know, but it made me sad. It is it is a sad story. like like looking at like I was not emotionally prepared to read it but the last time I looked at it. I understand. It is exceptionally good. It's not just by Kevin Conroy, it's also by J-Bone and Aditya Bittikar. I'll tell you what, I will read it prior to the next recording and then we can rank it because I do i want to be involved in the ranking of that one. Okay. But I was too sad. All right. we You will find a time to not be sad and we will rank to be less sad.
01:28:01
Speaker
Matt, if I can find a time to not be sad, I would love that. Yeah, that's fair. All right, let me write this down. That we got a rank finding payment. Actually, let me write down all the stuff we decided. Because this is important. This is important info. January catch up.
01:28:25
Speaker
Scrooge. Last Don Rosa Scrooge.
01:28:33
Speaker
February catch up.
Kevin Conroy's 'Finding Batman' & Superman's Colorful World
01:28:39
Speaker
Spider-Man, what is it? Sin, Sinister War? Sinister War, yeah. And next, yeah ESE, Finding Batman.
01:29:00
Speaker
Okay, it's really good. It's exceptionally good.
01:29:06
Speaker
All right. Next on Robert's list is Flatline in Elevation, which is from Lazarus Planet Next Evolution. I didn't read that one. I read a bunch of Lazarus Planet stuff, but I don't know if that's one that I read.
01:29:30
Speaker
So let me look, land source planet evolution, or next evolution.
01:29:45
Speaker
I definitely, okay, I feel like I definitely read this issue. It looks very familiar. Oh yes, I remember this. I remember this flat line story.
01:29:59
Speaker
um
01:30:02
Speaker
Cause yeah, the whole thing with Lazarus planet is it was raining Lazarus pit juice. And so people were getting powers, like new people were getting powers. And, uh, and so this was like a bunch of introductions of new characters. Oh, so it's a real bloodline situation. It's very much a bloodlines kind of situation. Yeah. Uh,
01:30:34
Speaker
And the Flatline story by Brandon T. Snyder and Laura Braga. And she basically releases Ra's al Ghul from an urn. Like she goes to a, uh, she's in Tokyo and she goes to this like shrine looking building and uh finds ubu there and fights ubu for a while and uh let's see she's told that this is her future tomb some league of assassins guys like fight her
01:31:34
Speaker
but she like sidesteps them all and opens this or her and then Razzo Ghoul isn't there. Okay, yeah, I remember this story. ah It's pretty good. Like it's very much the start, like an attempt to start something, then a very complete story. um But I remember this being like pretty fun and pretty good. Her name is Nika and we don't know what her last name is. But Ubu knows who she is and talks about, I think she maybe used to be a member of the League of Assassins. And she could absorb the skills of people that died. Okay. ah I have not read it. Well, who was the guy in the Captain in America run that could do that? Oh, uh, I remember, I remember that story. I don't remember that guy. I don't know that he had like a
01:32:32
Speaker
like a villain name. He was just a guy that like could touch dead people and take their powers or or look like them, right? Yeah. You could touch people who were dead and look like them. Uh, yeah.
01:32:49
Speaker
Anyway, she was in the league of Lazarus tournament. That was in the Robin book. Uh, and she's this somehow associated with Lord Deathman. She's Lord Deathman's sidekick. I mean, that sounds pretty good. Yeah. This Flatline story is pretty good. It's fine. It's like middle of the list or below, though, I think. Um, like it ain't as good as Flex Mentalo. We have that at 926. Yeah, it's probably not that good.
01:33:24
Speaker
Uh, where's the part of the list where it's just like, that's pretty good. That's around like, I think the 1100s. Yeah. In Jack volume one numbers, one through three no one through two. What if number seven Wolverine and shield power Rangers pink is at number 1110. That was pretty good one. Like, I think it's that good. um Around that good.
01:34:00
Speaker
Uh, maybe not as good as the Jim's Up, Ravenloft, Dungeons and Dragons story. I think it's better than the what if Wolverine and shield story though. I'm going to make this the new 11 13. Okay. So, all right. Isn't that the one? What if we're like, everything works out? Okay. I think maybe so. Yeah.
01:34:28
Speaker
All right. Flatline evolution. and it's in Lazarus Planet Next Evolution. All right.
01:34:45
Speaker
Evolution is a mystery, Matt. That's true. Finally on Robert's list is human colors from Superman Red and Blue number one. Is that that story we hate?
01:34:59
Speaker
I think that might be that story we hate. let's Let's see. I think that might be that full trash story. Superman red and blue. Number one, is that story called human colors? No, this is a different story.
01:35:22
Speaker
Okay, i then I don't know if I read it. Because I hated that one story so much that I don't think I i got through it. but john The John Ridley story is called Untitled. Which, God. I like that you and I are both so mad at that.
01:35:47
Speaker
ah This story is by Dan Waters and Danny. And yeah, I don't know if I remember it because we were both so mad at that one story. Yeah, I don't think I made it a page past that story. I was so mad. Uh, human colors, human colors.
01:36:16
Speaker
Oh, okay. I'm sort of looking at it now. It starts as a black and white story, and then Superman brings color to the world. All right. That's the idea. I don't think either of us have read it, Matt. I don't either. i We can't rank it, but that's that seems to be what it is.
01:36:41
Speaker
ah Because I noticed, like as soon as I got to it, that these first few pages are in black and white and not red and blue. But that's the gimmick of the story, is that Superman superman is bringing color to the world. The color is red and blue. ah Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah.
Captain America Issues & The Slug Villain
01:37:12
Speaker
Here's a couple backups from Robert. Captain America numbers 324 to 325, the slug.
01:37:20
Speaker
I know we've read that one. I know we've read that one. That one's not very good. It's not a great part of the run. No. Uh, there's a lot of, uh, Nomad in this bad boy. Yeah. And the slug is so fucking gross. The slug is gross. He's so gross. Uh, boy, Mark Grunwald.
01:37:48
Speaker
wanted to get people over.
01:37:56
Speaker
He sure did. He sure did. And he did not. In a lot of cases, not old john walk her over. He got some dogs over. He got some people over. Got time and back over. He definitely got down back over. He got some people over. He just didn't get everybody over.
01:38:17
Speaker
No, Doughboy, the slug. Those guys did not get over. All right. I don't think we need to tell. I do like how the slug is drawn where he is just like, he's like, there's no definition. It's just a black circle and like arms coming out, like arms in his head, his awful fat head. This is,
01:38:48
Speaker
dey paul This is still Paul Neary on the book. Yeah. So, I mean, like, you know, the art's not bad. Yeah. It is just, unfortunately, art of the slug. And he has just left it round at the end of this story. Let me be very clear. Yeah, man. He's on a big boat. he's He's on his big boat where he's doing crimes and Nomad is trying to go undercover to, like, figure out what his crimes are.
01:39:19
Speaker
And eventually the boat sinks. Like the boat explodes and sinks. Because Captain America goes there too. And like, no bad in Captain America are like escaping on a life raft or after whatever. Or a motorboat, I forget what it is. But like, they're able to get away. Oh no, they're just out swimming. They're not in a boat of any kind. They just have to swim away.
01:39:49
Speaker
Uh, but then the slug is just like, the last shot of him is just like, I think he's coming out of the water somehow. Yeah. I think he, I think he's, I think he's floating up because he goes, so he's not, he's not dense enough to sink.
Comic Quality & Mark Grunewald's Work
01:40:09
Speaker
I guess he displaces more water. Yeah.
01:40:17
Speaker
It's, it's, it's not, it's not, uh, the best part of the run by any stretch. I i would say it is not.
01:40:28
Speaker
It's, I mean, it's kind of bad, honestly. It's a detour in the run that is not very good. Two years after this, Grumwald drops one of the greatest comics of all time. One of the greatest single issues ever published. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:40:46
Speaker
It is, it is a fucking roller coaster of a run. Give me a number. I mean, bad. Like what? 1300s, 1400s. We have the superior stratagem at 1225. This I think is worse. Cause at least the superior stratagem is interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Streets of poison is at 1324. I think this is worse than that.
01:41:15
Speaker
That's the lowest ranked comic that I have Mark Grunewald listed as a creator. But I think it's close to Streets of Poison. um Let's see, at 1,400 we have the Neil Gaiman, Mark Buckingham, Miracle Man. Do you think this is better than that?
01:41:36
Speaker
We're in the neighborhood. We're in the neighborhood. Maybe a little bit. ah puer dom ah If we're going above, I do think it's better than Thor Vikings, a similarly kind of gross book. And right above that is spawn number 10. It's better than that. ah We have the Yellow Peril Haunted House story in text comics number 408, 1392. It's better than the 2014 Secret Six, which is a 1388.
01:42:07
Speaker
ah
01:42:10
Speaker
Ooh, it's not as bad as what we have at 1390, the Street Fighter comic that was so bad ah Malibu had to formally apologize to Capcom. Yeah, i'm I went to sp spots higher than that. It's better than the Secret Six we have at 1390. Oh, okay. I didn't know if you said better or worse, sorry. It's better. um better
01:42:31
Speaker
I'm gonna say it's worse than Amazing Spider-Man The Wedding. ah Which is a bummer and not a good story, but it doesn't have the slug in it. ah Better or worse than Babe Watch? Better. All right, so at the new number 1386, Captain America numbers 324 to 325, the slug. matt ah une Man. Grunis, man. Grunis.
01:43:01
Speaker
remember Remember those days? We were reading Groonies. I remember them and remember them fondly.
Judge Dredd's High Rankings & Storytelling Impact
01:43:10
Speaker
All right, that is our list from Robert. Our next list. Okay, we took a list from Gregory Luther already. So how about this one from Ian?
01:43:26
Speaker
All right. This is Ian's first submission.
01:43:33
Speaker
First on the list is Judge Dredd America. Do we not? I thought we had that one. That story's good as hell. Let's see. Let's see. We do. Searching for the word America in this spreadsheet. We have Judge Dredd America as 854. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. All right. How about this one? Savage Dragon Emperor Dragon.
01:43:59
Speaker
by Eric Larsen. I think I may have read one issue of Savage Dragon in my life.
01:44:09
Speaker
I may have read two or three, but not that many. Maybe it was more because they did that like black and white essential style Savage Dragon reprint way back when I was working at the comic book store. And I might have read that whole thing. So I might have read like the first 10 issues. But I certainly didn't read any of the ones where he, like, you know, busts real hard. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Savage Dragon busts real hard. I don't know if you know that. On panel, it's... I've unfortunately seen those panels of Savage Dragon. No, why is that unfortunate? Did you not want to see the Savage Dragon bust so hard? I kind of wish I hadn't, yeah. I kind of wish I hadn't seen it.
01:44:59
Speaker
Finally on Ian's list is Judge Dredd Necropolis. Uh, I thought we also had that one because that one also kicks ass. Let me see if it's on here. I know we have some judged death stories. We do not have Necropolis though. Uh, a 26 part story. Yeah. Guess what? It it rocks pretty hard.
01:45:29
Speaker
That is by Carlos Iscara and John Wagner. The creators of Judge Dredd. Published in 1990. As you know, if you watched Dredd. Correct. ah Published in 1990.
01:45:46
Speaker
And yeah, it's good. Yeah, man. I mean, it is, I would say maybe I mean, it is in a referent that is called the essential judged red. It is kind of the essential judged red in a lot of ways, I think. Well, it's interesting. Anytime you get the dark judges involved, the vibe of judged red changes. You know? Yeah. And I don't just mean like that they're kind of like spooky characters, right?
01:46:24
Speaker
Because, I mean, they are, like Judge Death and Judge Mortis and all the rest of them. Yeah, Judge Death is a skeleton man. Judge Death is a skeleton man, yeah. They are spooky characters, but what I mean is, when I say the vibe changes, is that Judge Dredd in general is a satirical book about fascistic cops, right? Yeah.
01:46:49
Speaker
it's it's It's a satire of America. If you think Judge Dredd is the good guy, I'm looking at you, richest man in the world. You're reading it wrong. Generally. Yeah, generally. Except. Except when the dark judges get involved. Because they are so obviously worse.
01:47:17
Speaker
They are such obvious, clear villains that, like, Judge Dredd actually does kind of become the hero in relation to them. Yeah. Judge Dredd is a fascist who really only values the law and order. Yeah. The Dark Judges are have accomplished multiple genocides. Yeah. And are trying to do another one.
01:47:48
Speaker
Correct. Uh, so yeah, like necropolis, I think is, it might be the first, uh, time that John Wagner decides mega city one is too big. Yeah. Uh, cause originally like mega city one was New York to Atlanta. Right? Like that, that is specified. It is basically the entire Eastern seaboard, basically. Yeah. It's it's most of the East coast.
01:48:19
Speaker
oh Florida, of course, destroyed in the Apocalypse War. oh i guess I guess actually the Apocalypse War is the first time that... Well, no, because none of Megacity gets destroyed in the Apocalypse War, does it? oh Maybe not. I don't really remember. Yeah, I know that they they end up like redirecting the the nukes in that one.
01:48:46
Speaker
um but Like, Mega City 1 gets fucked up in Necropolis yeah and becomes significantly smaller. And then in a Day of Chaos, it becomes significantly smaller again. And Day of Chaos happens in, I want to say like 2010. So like every now and then, like every 20 years, John Wagner, who's been working on this book for 50 years, decides to ask too much.
01:49:20
Speaker
That's too much. Too big. Too big. Too big. Do we need Philadelphia? I don't think so. Oh, shit. I forgot about um forgot about Judge Nausea in here. Yeah, Judge Nausea, the new dark judge who shows up in Necropolis. Gross. Gross. Judge Nausea is extremely gross, as you might imagine. Yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, it's good shit.
01:49:49
Speaker
It's pretty good shit. Like, there's a like there's a fake Judge Dredd in this, too. Yeah. Which, that's the thing I really like about Wagner's Judge Dredd stuff, is it's never one thing, right? Like, the apocalypse war starts with block mania. Right. Which is a ah very different story than it becomes. Like, the cursed earth kinda starts and ends in a different place than, like, fucking Ronald McDonald showing up, you know? Like, there's always...
01:50:18
Speaker
like twists and turns that I feel like are, I i have to imagine if you're reading 2000 AD weekly, which I don't think you can do in America. Cause I remember when I was at the comic store, it used to come like four at a time. Unless, yeah. i Like even if you're getting the individual issues, yeah I don't know if you can get them weekly. We had a guy who was a sub to it back at the comic store and it would just be like,
01:50:46
Speaker
you know We would get them all, but we would get three or four at a time. yeah yeah um Maybe if you're reading it digitally, you can read ah week to week. it's It's probably easier now than it used to be. ah yeah Certainly in 1990,
01:51:02
Speaker
ah not as easy as it could be. yeah ah But I imagine if you're reading this week to week, all those twists and turns are like even more fun. yeah This are whips, by the way. yeah This Carlos Iscara art.
01:51:17
Speaker
good, fucking great. Yeah. Like in the essential, in the essential it's all in color, which would it have been in color in 2000 AD or? I don't remember if 2000 AD was in color by 90 or not. I thought it was later, but I do like the coloring. Did they do some of the stuff, some of that stuff where it was like some of it was in color and some of it wasn't? Maybe. I think they still do that stuff. Cause cause yeah, like even in a,
01:51:47
Speaker
Uh, that story we were talking about recently, a trifecta, like one of those stories is not in color. Yeah. There's like a painted. Since to, to the art, cause the only credited artist is Carlos Iscara. So it makes me think that he's at least coloring himself here. And like the colors in this are so like unsettling and weird and kind of.
01:52:16
Speaker
not monochrome, but like very moody. Very moody and very like generally like objects and figures are often colored in one color. Yeah. And then the background will be like shaded in a different color. It's like not monochrome, but also not like Outside of like Judge Dredd's helmet and fire, which you do get a lot of, like not a lot of color variation for ah individual objects. in In a single figure, yeah. yeah or Or if it is, it's kind of like, it looks like they're kind of like lit in that neon, neo-noir kind of way. um And we were talking about recently on the regular Ajax show that GI Joe first issue
01:53:07
Speaker
where the coloring is weird, and in some parts it has that like very limited color palette, and it doesn't work in that book. This is an example of that kind of coloring being very effective. yeah yeah Because ah if you're supposed to be unsettled by all of this, like and that's the effect of it. um yeah and Like I said, it's moody. And it's also a great way to contrast all the stuff that's happening in megacity one where it's all like super neon overwhelming bisexual lighting yeah with all the stuff when the dark judges show up when it's just like it gets I mean appropriate enough like kind of nauseous in its color palette like it's green yeah like a like a gross green shade of green yeah if you have not read this read it like read it today
01:54:05
Speaker
it's It's good. It's really fucking good. ah Not my favorite Judge Dred story, and probably not as good as Blockmania and the Apocalypse War. um I don't know. I don't know. It kinda is. I don't think it's as good as Day of Chaos, but i it it may be as good as Apocalypse War. Okay. Well, let's see where that puts it on the list.
01:54:36
Speaker
ah We have Apocalypse War at number 475. Also, if you haven't read it, consider reading it. Okay, well, we're Dave Chaos is at 477. Oh wow, do I have Dave Chaos lower than that what that? We have it two spots below Apocalypse War. Between those, we have the autobiography of Bruce Wayne ah by Alan Brennert, which is a really good story. I i think maybe
01:55:08
Speaker
I really like Day of Chaos. I will put it just below that. Okay. So that makes the new number 478. Yeah. Three stories that you should absolutely read if you have them. If you kind of want to get like the whole Judge Dredd experience, throw America in there and you've got it. Yeah, that's, that's very accurate. Those are like maybe the quintessential Judge Dredd stories. Yeah. Cause like America is the most hard satire. Like the most downer political satire. Okay. Ian sent us some alternates. I'm just gonna pick one of them. Because some of them are other Savage Dragon stories. Okay. Which we know we can't rank. But this one I know you can rank, Chris. Okay.
Introduction to Fist of the North Star & Translation Charm
01:56:00
Speaker
My question is, can you rank it in the next six minutes?
01:56:06
Speaker
Okay. Cause that's the amount of time we have left. So if you think it's going to take you longer, we'll also have to talk about this one next time. Okay. Fist of the North Star volume one by Hara and Baronsen. Uh, yeah, I think I'll need some help to rank that. Okay. In six minutes. Cause there is a lot to talk about. Um, so here's my question. I guess let's get this question out of the way first.
01:56:37
Speaker
Is one volume of Fist of the North Star a story?
01:56:43
Speaker
Uh, I would say, I would say probably, well, yeah, I think it, I think it could be. Fist of the North Star is a, is a weird one and in terms of breaking it down in stories, you know? Cause like there's certainly like,
01:57:07
Speaker
Fist of the North Star doesn't have stories as much as it has levels. Okay. Because there's always a, there's always a boss, right? Right. Like, Kinshiro fights a bunch of dudes, then he fights the boss. Right. ah And, which is kind of a the the the traditional manga story structure.
01:57:36
Speaker
Right. Well, I mean, this is like a foundational fight manga. Right. But it's like so many manga are set up where it's like, here's the, here's the bad, the big bad of right now. And our next, however, however much of the story we're doing that just features them, like that's what we're doing for that time.
01:58:06
Speaker
Yeah. You know, you haven't read Fist of the North Star, right Matt? I have not. I've seen some of the anime and I've seen the live action movie. Probably the worst two ways to engage with Fist of the North Star. You should read it. Because, I mean, like, Buronsome wanted to work with Kentaro Mira. That's true. Yeah. And I feel like there's a lot of Fist of the North Star in particularly the Black Swords of Men arc.
01:58:36
Speaker
The influence, I think, is clear. Yeah. Yeah. yeah ah Now, while we've been while we've been talking, I have been... um I went to... Well, I can't say this because we can't buy that domain. But ah I went to the website for the machine. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
01:58:56
Speaker
And I did like, there's a ah ah bit where you can enter it. And then, ah you know, it's where it's not like, you know, it's not like generative AI or anything or or machine learning. It just like, it does a comprehensive like analysis. ah Basically, it just does what the machine does, but it is digital. And some people like prefer to have the machine or the machine app, ah which we also have, but there is a web based version now. um And of course, I signed up for machine premium.
01:59:27
Speaker
Uh, cause we use the machine a lot. Yeah. You don't want, you don't want ads interrupting your machine time. You don't you don't want ads. Um, weirdly enough, it is all ads for the machine. Well, the machine feeds itself, you know? Yeah. Uh, so while that's, while it's running, it does take a minute because it is doing, uh, an analysis. Um, I do want to say, uh, fiscal North star volume one chapter titles.
01:59:55
Speaker
A cry from the heart, when the fury of heaven strikes, secret technique, zen hyken. King retaliates, to southern cross, fateful reunion, the mad killer, flames of devotion, devotion and fury, when a great star falls, encounter at the oasis, execution of the devil, and mad sarge.
02:00:24
Speaker
Fist of the North Star owns. Those are the most dudes rock titles I've ever heard for anything. The first page of Fist of the North Star is a mushroom cloud that says, in the year 1990X, the world was engulfed in nuclear fire to exclamation points. That is in the anime as well, as I recall. That that is how the anime opens this also. Oh, just got the ah results. I'm going to say email. Email me a copy.
02:00:53
Speaker
um Do you want me to CC you on this, Matt? Do you want to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's company business, so I would like to be included. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I use the company card to pay for machine premium. So you're on it as well. That's fine. I mean, it's a business expense. We're using it now for business, so. Yes. I mean, demonstrably, we're using it for business. Yeah. Okay, did you get it? Did you get the email? Oh, yeah, I got it here. I got it.
02:01:23
Speaker
machine result. Yeah. Yes. Uh, machine result, FWD colon machine result, colon F O T N S. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Colon V one. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, all right. Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm clicking on it. Uh, mailbox run a little slow. Oh, it's, it's an attachment. Let me open. Oh, hang on. I got a, I got update Acrobat. Okay. Go ahead. Acrobat keeps wanting me to like,
02:01:52
Speaker
Like I canceled my like Acrobat premium because it's got AI bullshit in it and I'm unemployed and so I didn't want to keep paying for it. um But now it's just like, hey, give us more money. Everything is a subscription-based service now because everything sucks. and Yeah, I don't... Yeah.
02:02:20
Speaker
I want Adobe to give me the option to just fucking turn off all their AI shit. Because like look, i I like Photoshop. I've used Photoshop for years and years. I taught myself how to use Photoshop when I was in fucking high school, you know? Yeah. Oh, oh here it is. Let's open. um ah Oh, ah I'm wondering, did you get the same result that I did? I think I just sent you the same file. Did you open it? Yeah, yeah. i'm All right. I'll open it. I'll hang on.
02:02:49
Speaker
um yeah All right, I got it open here. um Okay, wow, that was that was quick. You keep that shit updated. Well, I i just got this new computer, so. Oh, right, right, right, right, yeah. I mean, mine's not that old, but yeah. The app is faster. Do you wanna say it at the same time, what it says? Yeah, yeah, we can. You wanna do three, two, one? On three, or yeah, three, two, one. Three, two, one, rules. Rules. Yeah, it rules. yeah ah The machine, once again, 100% hit rate for the machine.
02:03:24
Speaker
I mean, this shit, like, he does say you are already dead for the first time in that first arc. And that's, there's nothing cooler than that.
02:03:41
Speaker
Like, maybe that should go on the Thursday Night Raw list. There's not a whole lot more raw than that when Ken Chiro says, oh, you're already dead. And then a dude's skeleton jumps out of its fucking body.
02:03:59
Speaker
I mean, it's pretty fucking wrong. Your punches are like mosquito bites. Guaha. I'm going to kill you now. You are already dead. What? And then that guy fucking dies. There's something beautiful about, um, the English translation of Fist of the North Star. Like, I don't know if it's how it reads in the original Japanese, but everybody gets hero fights just
02:04:28
Speaker
talks like the biggest dumbass. Yeah. I, made them laugh guahaha I posted this on, this is one of my like earliest posts on blues guy, but I, I captioned it. Some people say villains need to be complex and have tragic backstories. Um, those people are wrong and Buranson is right. And I posted a panel. I don't think it's in the first volume, but it's a guy literally saying, Oh, this killing makes me want to piss.
02:05:03
Speaker
I just wonder if that's like perfectly accurately translated from the original Japanese, or if there's some license in the translation. I mean, I kind of get the feeling it is accurate. Yeah.
02:05:25
Speaker
Yeah. Fizzlers are ah fucking owns. So you think volume one, we can accurately call one story. Uh, yeah, I would say like volume one encompasses like the fight against King who's like the first boss. It's also the, the one that is the most Mad Max. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think that's what's in the, like, I'm trying to remember how the anime is structured. Cause I think there's like an, a movie first.
02:06:02
Speaker
And I think the thing where Kinshira fights King is in that first movie. If I'm right, if I remember right, but I, I don't know, I haven't seen it in a long time. I'll get when Ken gets so mad that his shirt flies off of his body. Yeah, that's some class. That's classic. yeah You were asking yesterday what Al Roker's favorite anime is.
02:06:32
Speaker
Cause he's, he was unsure about the pronunciation of Sayan. Gets it wrong every year in a way that I find very endearing. What does he say? zion sian Sayan? Sayan. Uh, it seems like somebody would tell him, right? You would think, but... Eventually. I mean, that dude got a, that dude's 70 years old, got up at five o'clock in the morning. Yeah.
02:06:57
Speaker
probably got up at like four o'clock in the morning to go sit in the cold and rain and talk about parade floats. Yeah. So anyway, you asked, like, you said, like, Al Roker's got to have a favorite anime, right? And my joke answer was Bubblegum Crisis, but it might be Fist of the North Star. I could see Al Roker, like, if they ever did a balloon of Kenshiro,
02:07:24
Speaker
That would be, here he is coming from the post-apocalyptic world of 1990X, Ken Shiro, the master of the assassination art of Hokutoshinken. And that, Al Roker, we get totally right. A hundred percent. He's a master of Hokutoshinken. He'll strike your 708 meridian channeling points.
02:07:49
Speaker
yeah Also, this first volume does establish that in the world of Fist of the North Star, some dudes are just 12 feet tall. Right, yeah yeah. And that's just how it is. That's just how it is, yeah.
02:08:03
Speaker
ah Yeah, no, it rules. Fist of the North Star Volume 1 rules. it okay It does get better. I think it- I don't think there's much variation in quality throughout Fist of the North Star, though. Like, I think it's kind of the same. Yeah, that's why I was gonna maybe suggest just ranking all of Fist of the North Star together. Well, I haven't finished all of it. I will say that. I've not finished the entirety of Fist of the North Star. Alright, then let's make a decision. Do you want to rank it all together? Because it is pretty much of...
02:08:38
Speaker
the same quality throughout, or do you want to go ahead and rank this? I think it's probably worth ranking it all as one once I finish reading it. Okay. So I do think I'm going to also have to charge the remaining nine volumes of Fist of the North Star onto the onto the company card along with machine premium. I mean, so it goes. and That's business.
02:09:07
Speaker
That is business baby is business. Uh, all right. Then we will save fish to the North star for ranking altogether. And that is going to wrap up this every story ever special. If you would like to send us an every story ever list, you can do that by emailing us at our email address, which is war rocket podcast at gmail dot.com. You can also, uh, get in touch with us on blue sky at war rocket age jacks.com on blue sky.
02:09:36
Speaker
you can ah hit us up on tumblr warrocketpodcast.tumblr dot.com or you can join our discord you can ask us in any of those places i just mentioned for an invitation to our discord and we will send you one you can also ask for an invitation to our discord on our patreon which is patreon.com slash warrocketajax um By going there and kicking in as little as a dollar a month, you support these monthly Every Story Ever specials, as well as our weekly War Rocket Ajax show, comics catch up, and movie fighters and snack situation. All of those shows are made possible by your support on Patreon, and we would greatly appreciate ah you supporting us there. If you want to find me and my stuff, go to MattDWilson.net to find links to my comics, my books, my other podcasts, and my social medias. Chris, where can people find you?
02:10:28
Speaker
Everybody can find me by going to the-isb dot.com. That is my website, and it has links to everything. And I believe there is a, ah ah the marie ah the marine, the machine premium oh affiliate link there that you can use to sign up for your own account on the machine. ah The marine premium, which is John Cena. I also have and ah ah ah an affiliate link for. ah Marine premium is John Cena, not Miz. Yeah.
02:10:59
Speaker
I don't know where Randy Orton fits in. right Randy Orton is ah is is only available on Marine Premium Plus. Add free h d super HD Marine Premium. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back in December. ah Send in your every Santa Evers, and we'll do some of those in December. Until then. Thanks for listening, everybody.
02:11:29
Speaker
we talk to you soon everybody have a great month but ever forever ever