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Episode 725 - I to X of Swords: Zweihander
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We rate more famous swords on this week's show! Do we manage to find our elusive I?
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Transcript
Introduction to the Show
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster or you want to be a podcaster and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster.
00:00:12
Speaker
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00:00:28
Speaker
I just, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?
00:00:38
Speaker
about to call Rocket Ajax to bring back his body. Terminator X is yours!
Dream Lego Sets and Personal Tattoos
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to War Rocket Ajax. This is the internet's most explosive comic book and pop culture podcast and we are your hosts. My name is Chris Sims. With me as always is Matt Wilson.
00:01:04
Speaker
Matt, if I could have a Lego set, if i could if I could make them build a Lego set of any comic. At all.
00:01:16
Speaker
i i I am sorry to take this one because I feel like it's one that you would also want. But I think I'm going to want Guts vs. Nosferatu Zod.
00:01:28
Speaker
Now that's interesting. Because as soon as you brought up the concept, I was thinking of Berserk, but that's not the incident that I was thinking of. do Do you want a Lego Eclipse?
00:01:40
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. I want that big hand that the God's hand sits on each finger of. I want to build that in Lego. And I want a little Guts who's climbing up the side of it.
00:01:54
Speaker
You want a little you you want a little ah ah conra Conrad? And a little Slane? Yeah, I want those absolute weirdo freaks as little Lego minifigs.
00:02:09
Speaker
And i want a little chamber where Griffith is becoming Femto. I want the whole thing. I want like to build all those faces that are the floor.
00:02:21
Speaker
I want it all. In terms of like a build, I think that would be pretty cool, because I think you could do a lot of fun stuff with like building the floor out of minifig heads and everything. um Here's the thing, Matt.
00:02:31
Speaker
If I turn to my left, I've got ah ah the Tower of Barad-Dur. yeah I've got Avengers Tower. I've got the Daily Bugle. I've got ah two Batsmobile.
00:02:43
Speaker
ah huh And those are things that I look at and I smile. And I enjoy having them.
00:02:50
Speaker
Are you going to enjoy ah the X mansions downstairs? Are you going to enjoy having the eclipse? It's very similar to the notion of the tattoo that I'm going to get from aha from Berserk. That is the eclipse cracking.
00:03:10
Speaker
It makes me think about overcoming hardship. Yeah, okay, look, that's that's legit. I don't know how long after the thrill of the build wore off, you would really... like the the fun would wear off and you'd be like, that's the Eclipse.
Supporting the Show and Gimmick Street
00:03:27
Speaker
he is He is becoming femto of the god hand, and that's not great to have in the living room. i Of course I would want to have...
00:03:41
Speaker
A Skull Knight on a horse that I could send in there to to save Guts and Casca. e
00:03:53
Speaker
i just think it would look cool as a Lego set. i mean i I think you're right. like I'm imagining Nosferatu Zod as like not like a figure, but like when you build Bowser.
00:04:04
Speaker
you know yeah Yeah, that would be cool. That's what I'm imagining for him. That would be very cool. yeah We've got a great show for everybody this week. ah We are going to be raiding some swords, as we do, in the 1 to 10 of swords segment.
00:04:22
Speaker
ah So stick around for that. We're going to be doing that a little bit later. But before we get to that, Chris, ah we have to do some business. The first piece of business is thanking our newest supporters over on Patreon.
00:04:35
Speaker
Now, Matt, these are the people. who, if they want to support the show, they have a couple of options. First of all, they can go to patreon.com slash warwick at Ajax. That's where you can kick in as little as a dollar a month to help us keep doing the show, help us keep doing all the stuff that we do here at the Kaleidos Media Family of Podcasts.
00:04:53
Speaker
You can help us especially pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called bills, because they do keep sending them. Another way that you can help us out is maybe ah take a trip all the way down to 725 Gimmick Street, Matt.
00:05:07
Speaker
What do we got? Well, we at our $15 level on Patreon, people can name locations, addresses on Gimmick Street.
00:05:21
Speaker
They get naming rights. They become part of the Gimmick Street Preservation Society. And they are able to ah decide whatever goes at that address on Gimmick Street. And this time...
00:05:36
Speaker
Our namer of the spot is Andrew Curl. Andrew Curl is putting what goes at 725 Gimmick Street. And what is there is the Statue of Liberty, specifically the one from the movie X-Men 2000, with Magneto's mutation machine inside the torch.
00:05:54
Speaker
but That's a good one to be there. That is the machine
Recent Activities and Recommendations
00:05:59
Speaker
that Magneto tried to use to turn the entire city of New York into mutants. Into mutants, yeah. yeah in in i Now, do you think everybody would have turned into a jellyfish?
00:06:11
Speaker
Like Senator Kelly did? Yeah, or do you think that was just, like, his latent X gene was, yeah he was a jellyfish man.
00:06:23
Speaker
I think, yeah, I think everybody would have been some different kind of mutant. That's what's there. That's what's at 725 Gimmick Street. Now, is this a situation like how there's like a the eye like there's an Eiffel Tower at King's Island in in Ohio? where or Or is it... Gimmick Street, as we know, is a multidimensional street.
00:06:47
Speaker
So is is it Is it the Statue of Liberty and we have gone through space and time to the year 2000? Or in what the year 2000 considered the not-too-distant future? Because don't forget, that movie takes place in the in the near future.
00:07:07
Speaker
It is the Statue of Liberty from that universe, however you want to justify it. I think we had that Statue of Liberty...
00:07:20
Speaker
brought to Gimmick Street and recreated. okay And if you climb all the way up to where the the machine is, ah the the other machine, the jellyfish making machine, um you can see all the way to the Greensboro Coliseum.
00:07:35
Speaker
You sure can, because it's it's just down the road. Just so people know, there are two more in the chamber Named addresses on Gimmick Street, and then we don't have any more. So if you're at the $15 level and you haven't sent yours do it.
00:07:53
Speaker
Name your spot on Gimmick Street, and it'll come up very soon on the show. Don't make me go back to thinking them up. Our newest supporter on Patreon that we are thanking on this episode is Adam Spencer.
00:08:07
Speaker
Thank you, Adam. If you like Adam and help us out here on the show, you can do that by ah going to patreon.com slash warrocketajax, as Chris said, and ah throwing in as little as $1 per month to make sure that we do this show every week, that we do comics catch-up and every story ever, monthly, that we do Snack Situation and Movie Fighters.
00:08:31
Speaker
And ah as a patron, you get every single one of those shows that I just named, completely ad-free in your own Patreon feed that's just for you on Patreon.
00:08:43
Speaker
So you can do that. And at higher levels of support, you can get bonus content, stuff that we record, especially for ah the Patreon, stuff that I cut out of the show and make ah into outtakes that are on Patreon exclusively, and writing that both Chris and I have done.
00:09:06
Speaker
And you can also, at the $10 level, get line-stepping privileges for currently every story ever in 1-10 of sorts. At $15 level, you can name a spot on Gimmick Street, and then at $20, you can get our t-shirt.
00:09:20
Speaker
ah I currently have artist David Nguyen working on our 2025 t-shirt. ah People are going to enjoy it. I've seen the rough sketches.
00:09:33
Speaker
Oh, I haven't. That's exciting. And people are going to enjoy it. I will forward that to you ah momentarily, Chris, because it's good stuff. If you're unable to help us monetarily, you can help us out in other ways. You can leave us a five-star review on the podcasting app that you use, or...
00:09:50
Speaker
You can tell your friends and family about the show, let them know about it, and spread the word. Give us some good word of mouth, and maybe those people that you encourage to listen to the show ah can thus contribute to our Patreon.
00:10:06
Speaker
That we would very much appreciate. With that, Chris, it's time for some Checks and Recs. What do you say? Let's do it.
00:10:17
Speaker
Chris, what would you like to check in with this week? ah Matt, I am still getting used to being employed again. i haven't done anything. Like nothing at all. Like like zero activities.
00:10:28
Speaker
I mean, I've i've i've worked. I've been... after After work and after dinner, like when I go to bed, I'll play a little bit of Yakuza. ah Same Yakuza game that I ah recommended, I think, last time.
00:10:41
Speaker
Yakuza 5. Yakuza 5. but like Like a dragon colon Yakuza 5. right ah Still working on the part where Haruka is ah trying to be an idol.
00:10:52
Speaker
She's really giving her all. Because you want to get to Yakuza 6 that has Kazuchika, Akata, and Naito in it. Yes. ah The Song Life.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yakuza 6. yeah I watched ah watch that new board game show on Dropout. That episode where they play monikers is really good. I have seen all the episodes of that except for monikers.
00:11:17
Speaker
There's an episode, the episode before that one, where they're playing... It's like a... A Cash and Guns. It's Cash and Guns, yes. yeah Everybody seems so high in that episode.
00:11:30
Speaker
Again, lou Wilson... The once-in-a-century talent. The ace of the century, Lou Wilson. What is it that Lou Wilson says he wants to be called in that one? he ah God, I forget what his name All I remember is him saying... It's some nickname....saying a... ah Apache Noche?
00:11:52
Speaker
ah Yes, he wants to do Apache Noche, which is a... a night of peace. A night of peace. And then everybody... mishears it as pasta noche.
00:12:05
Speaker
Yeah. Which is another element that makes me think that people on that episode in particular are high. A fun part of that episode was watching ah Jacob Wysocki, who I love, get genuinely mad. That Lou Wilson betrayed him, yeah. Yeah, get genuinely mad over this board game with his his friends in the way that you get mad playing a board game with your friends.
00:12:30
Speaker
The first episode of that show... is ah about the board game Wavelength, ah which I have attempted to play at a local board game cafe here in Asheville.
00:12:43
Speaker
isn And we never quite figured out exactly how to play it right. So I would like to thank the people on that show for showing me how to play that game right. that weird like It's kind of weirdly complicated. Yeah.
00:12:57
Speaker
That game. it seems like like Once you get it, you're like, okay. But the the general the general setup is a little weird. But yeah, that's literally, that's all I've done.
00:13:10
Speaker
We finally got to the part of of the Ticket to Ride Legacy game. where the ghosts are going to show up. But we'll be playing that next time. So, what about you, Matt?
00:13:20
Speaker
What have you been doing and enjoying in the past seven days? Well, Chris, I've actually been working a lot, too. I will not go into further detail about it, ah but I decided that...
00:13:39
Speaker
the first mini series of imposter syndicate will end up being a total of four issues. And I frantically wrote issues three and four.
00:13:52
Speaker
And so, um, those scripts are done and, uh, I'm going to, work toward ah getting Rodrigo to draw those very soon. um So there may be imposter syndicate news ah in the near future. So ah stay tuned for that.
00:14:12
Speaker
ah But yes, I have really quickly finished out um the first arc, so to speak, or the first mini series of imposter syndicate. And I'm very happy with that.
00:14:28
Speaker
what I was able to get in there and fit into those last two issues of what is, is ultimately a much, much broader story. But, but, but that initial arc is, is done now. So um as far as writing, so ah stay tuned.
00:14:47
Speaker
That's all I can say. but Awesome. ah Let's make some recommendations. what do you have to recommend, Chris? Matt, I don't, I cannot express this enough.
00:14:59
Speaker
i did I did not do anything. I think you're you you sort of recommended the board game show. for Yeah, I guess I guess i will. Here's the thing, though. um Samurai Shampan, you know, money.
00:15:13
Speaker
I mean, sure, but neither a lot of the people who make the stuff that we recommend on the show don't pay us. i mean I mean, none of the things that we recommend in the rec segment are things that people have paid us for, unless we...
00:15:28
Speaker
Unless we specifically say that. that's Yeah, it's it's I think that is a part of the show that could be adjusted and fixed. um Maxwell, aka HBO Maximum, or soon-to-be HBO Maximum again, could definitely fork over a few bucks.
00:15:45
Speaker
Homebox Office Maximum amount. yeah That's right. ah No, they could look they could slide a little bit over. ah Trust Fund Sam could slide a little bit over.
00:15:57
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. and so ah ah the you know Well, here's the thing. I did get all the Yakuza games on sale. So I do feel like that like I pay full price for Dropout.
00:16:12
Speaker
Right. You know? We could at least get a free subscription. at least get We at least get a free... to maybe send Send me that t-shirt of ah of Jacob Wysocki going Super Saiyan. That was great.
00:16:24
Speaker
And I missed it the first time it was around. ah It's ah hilarious that that ended up being part of a Game Changer game. Truly incredible. Truly incredible.
00:16:36
Speaker
Loved it. Absolutely. But yeah, I will go ahead and recommend ah Parlor Room, which is the name of the ah the new show on Dropout. And I will say, it is... it's a I mean, it's a very simple concept. it's Somebody picks a board game and a bunch of people play it.
00:16:57
Speaker
yeah And the the people are are professional improvisers for the most part, so it's very enjoyable to see. I will say this, though.
00:17:07
Speaker
Polygon did a series called Overboard, which is their board game show. yeah And theirs is, I think, more informative.
00:17:21
Speaker
In that it is yes it it is meant to give you an idea, like, in the way that Polygon video game videos give or used to give, I don't know what the situation is over there right now, would give you an idea of...
00:17:36
Speaker
of how the game is played. Same for the board games. Like the one on the Slay the Spire ah board game, I watched because I like Patrick Gill and Clayton Ashley and Simone de Rochefort.
00:17:47
Speaker
And also, I really wanted to know if I should spend $100 on this board game. The answer, I think, is probably good. without Me, personally, probably good. Parlor Room, hosted by Becca Scott, who...
00:18:00
Speaker
has made jokes about how ah it is it is her marketable skill to explain how to play games, is such a more watchable show because the games are like party games rather than complicated board games.
00:18:15
Speaker
Right. And the like it's funny. like the The focus is on being funny. Overboard is frequently pretty funny, but I would say generally it is more informative than funny.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, there was a recent discussion on our Discord, but also kind of more broadly on yeah about a YouTube video about how Dropout has kind of sort of brought the British panel show to the United States covertly.
00:18:49
Speaker
And I think that's true. And it's largely because if you watch a British panel show, It's not that the game is unimportant, but it is far more important that some people who like each other and are funny are having a good time. And you're watching them have a good time.
00:19:09
Speaker
yeah And that is what Dropout is entirely. Yes. And if you watch the like making of and behind the scenes bits for Game Changer, like the Samurai is pretty open about ah inspiration. Yeah.
00:19:25
Speaker
ah In that regard. So, yeah, I'll say give Parlor Room a watch. Nah, I'm getting that for six bucks a month, baby. i hope you are.
00:19:38
Speaker
Hope you were on that train back, you know, with all the recommendations we've been doing. Give him that Ajax bump and send me that t-shirt.
00:19:46
Speaker
Matt. What do you got? I would like to recommend a movie that is on Maxwell, which is soon to again be HBO Maximum. No, no, not till they pay.
00:19:58
Speaker
it's I am recommending it. It's not a movie they made, but it is a movie that is currently on the service.
Comic Book Discussions
00:20:05
Speaker
um It's called Companion. it is I watched it a couple weeks ago with Ben Gully ah before we went to Elle's Wedding.
00:20:16
Speaker
um But this is my first opportunity to really recommend it. It is ah movie about a guy to gets a robot girlfriend, who orders a robot girlfriend.
00:20:31
Speaker
And through that, you learn about a whole society where... people have robot partners. There are some surprises regarding that that I don't want to give away.
00:20:44
Speaker
But the real real fun part of the movie is like it's explained very early on that these robots all have fail-safes. Obviously, they they're they're not they're programmed not to harm human beings in any way.
00:20:59
Speaker
But like you can jailbreak your phone, you can jailbreak these robot companions, these robot girlfriends and boyfriends and partners.
00:21:11
Speaker
And the fun kind of goes from there. Some other rules that you learn about these these robots is like they can't lie. So there's one part late in the movie where the the lead robot girlfriend, she's like trying to drive away. It's also a world where there are self-driving cars. so um She's trying to drive away, and um she gets pulled over by cop, and because the car is self-driving, it automatically pulls over. and
00:21:43
Speaker
So she gets out, and the cop is asking her all these questions, and she just starts speaking in German, because she can't lie. so instead, she just starts speaking a language that the police officer can't understand. Yeah.
00:22:00
Speaker
um And there's like subtitles for what she's saying. And they're very funny because they're just the truth about her situation and why she is in this car and, and on and on.
00:22:11
Speaker
It's very good. It's got um Sophie Thatcher is the, the lead director. character who is also ah robot. um Her name is Iris. And ah the guy who ends up being kind of a scumbag that purchases her is Jack Quaid, who is in lots of stuff now.
00:22:34
Speaker
um But, you know, from Lower Decks. And by Avengers of Superman. Yeah, yeah. And he was in that movie Novocaine, which, tell me if that movie's any good.
00:22:46
Speaker
ah But Companion's a ah lot of fun. ah It's also got Harvey Guillen in it, who is from What We Do in the Shadows. it's It's like a quote-unquote horror movie, but it's really like a satire and very funny.
00:23:00
Speaker
um So I enjoyed it a whole bunch. So that's my recommendation. With that, Chris, it's time to talk about some comics. What do you say? Let's do it.
00:23:14
Speaker
ah There's no texter's choice this week because we didn't really text about anything. But um the comic that we immediately decided that we need to talk about is Superman Unlimited number one, which is one of the three.
00:23:32
Speaker
um They're not new. This is a new Superman book, but it's going to be one of the three ongoing Superman books that ah Moving forward, by Dan Slott and Raphael Albuquerque.
00:23:45
Speaker
And I do think this book has a really interesting premise. It also is a lot of, like, rehash and review of Superman and his history.
00:23:58
Speaker
is... it is It struck me as being extremely Dan Slott in that it reads a lot like the big issues of Spider-Man, where Spider-Man will like talk about Uncle Ben and and how he got bit by spider.
00:24:16
Speaker
And, I mean, look, I guess you gotta know ah about Superman if you've never heard of him before. I guess you gotta know about how he's from Krypton.
00:24:28
Speaker
I mean, it it doesn't exactly retell his origin. because i mean I mean, it it it does and it doesn't. A lot of it is implied because i I do think it's like, you know, I guess we got like four panels, a la All-Star Superman.
00:24:46
Speaker
there's but There's way more than that. But there is a lot of like, here's a scene where I tell my parents I gotta leave and walk the earth. To go from being Superboy to Superman.
00:25:00
Speaker
ah Here's a whole retelling of Death of Superman. um Although I did like how um he meets the Legion, and they say, oh, you're going to have a statue.
00:25:13
Speaker
and then after Death of Superman, he has the statue. Now, Matt, this is this is where I reveal a secret. oh This is a Texter's Choice winner. Oh.
00:25:23
Speaker
It's just not the texter's choice winner between you and me and the other person that we always text about the week's comics, Benito Serino. This is a texter's choice winner because I got a text from Chad Bowers, co-writer of X-Men 92 and Downset Fight, 10th anniversary hardcover, available now, that said, you read that dance law Superman yet?
00:25:46
Speaker
And then told me to ah text him after I had And he waited patiently for like three hours until I got ah the chance to read it, just so he could text me, that bit with the eagle killed me.
00:25:59
Speaker
ah the The eagle part is pretty good, yeah The eagle part is pretty good.
00:26:05
Speaker
um But the the the ultimate kind of premise of the issue is that Superman is reflecting on his life because he thinks he's going to die. Because... There's a meteor coming toward Earth, and at first it has like an outer shell of this stuff called Intertron.
00:26:25
Speaker
yeah Which you're having difficulty with because you have not read a bunch of Legion of Superheroes comics. Yeah, right. Underneath that is a heat just a giant ball of kryptonite. Just a massive, huge ball of kryptonite that Superman is able to redirect, but it like lands in the ocean.
00:26:44
Speaker
And it does make him go into unconsciousness, a coma, I suppose, for like three months. So when he wakes up, kryptonite is now like widely in use on Earth.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah. the like This chunk of kryptonite, this meteor, was so huge that the country it lands near... now just has the largest amount of kryptonite, and they are selling it and making a great deal of money.
00:27:17
Speaker
Yeah, it's like Wakanda with vibranium. Yeah. um And they have like cities that are like built almost entirely out of kryptonite now. um that Actually, it's radioactive, man. I don't know if i should be doing that.
00:27:31
Speaker
but and That is a lot of work to have happened in three months. I think it's, is it three months? I thought it was like three weeks. No, it's it you're right, it's three months. It's three months, yeah.
00:27:42
Speaker
And then we get Golden Superman at the end of the issue, which is intriguing, yeah for sure. you know about You know about Superman Prime from DC One Million? That's right. Yeah, it's in there.
00:27:55
Speaker
That's when I was like, alright, Dan. this This is a very advanced appearance of that. So, yeah. What's weird about this is that I was at the i was at a the store today.
00:28:10
Speaker
swung by the toy aisle. I'm not going to say what store it was, but I was just there to get my prescriptions. but They had like a little action figure, and it was Superman, and he was gold. And I was trying to see if like he had that kind of circular logo like he has in DC One Million.
00:28:26
Speaker
And i I don't think he did. And so I was like, okay, so this is just, like, they also had a Joker that was silver that I saw afterwards, so I was like, oh, okay, so this isn't this isn't the Superman I wanted to be.
00:28:40
Speaker
This is ah just a a Superman figure that is inexplicably yellow. But now, maybe it was the Superman I wanted to be.
00:28:50
Speaker
Also, this book's another great example ah Superman talking about how he's got a dog and how he loves his dog.
00:28:59
Speaker
Also, ah the Raphael Albuquerque art is, i don't know, it's a little hit and miss for me, but I think it's largely good. there There are some panels where I feel like Superman looks kind of weirdly lumpy.
00:29:12
Speaker
But aside from that, it's good. It looks good. I think if Superman looks really good, his Jimmy Olsen, am undecided. Yeah.
00:29:23
Speaker
On his Jimmy Olsen. Next up, we are going to talk about Fantastic Four number 32, which is of course, a One World Under Doom crossover issue, tie-in issue.
00:29:41
Speaker
um This is by Ryan North with art by Corey Smith. And as as we've seen in One World Under Doom, all the heroes got sent away ah by Dormammu. They all got um essentially thrown out of the timeline and for a little while.
00:30:02
Speaker
And so as that's going on, Valeria finds herself in a different world as a different person. She's still the daughter of...
00:30:15
Speaker
Reed Richards and Sue Storm, but she's not Valeria anymore. ah Now she's Mary Richards. Which I liked because ah she's still named after someone's grandmother.
00:30:29
Speaker
or She's named after someone's mother, her grandmother. Except in this case, it's not Dr. Doom's mom. it's It's Reed's mom, yeah. It's a pretty good bit.
00:30:42
Speaker
And she goes to find her parents, and they act very weird and say Franklin will deal with it. that She learns that she still has a brother named Franklin, but he's he's different in this reality.
00:30:58
Speaker
And so then she comes to discover that Franklin – initially, it seems like Franklin is Galactus. But that's not quite what's going on here.
00:31:11
Speaker
Instead, Jean Grey finds her and her boyfriend Namor, which is great. And they explain to her that Franklin was just this incredibly powerful kid. But since this world never had a Fantastic Four or you know like more other powerful people to reign him in he just used his reality-changing powers to make the world whatever he wanted it to be.
00:31:41
Speaker
And so when Galactus showed up on Earth, ah he just stopped him and then decided it was cool to look like Galactus, so he made himself look like Galactus.
00:31:52
Speaker
ah The line in the comic is that he made himself look like the biggest thing he'd ever seen. yeah Which is very funny. And then, he it's it's very reminiscent of that... um Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where Bart can just make people do whatever they want, so they're constantly walking on eggshells so that he doesn't make them into a jack-in-the-box or whatever. Yeah, which is, ah before we get anyone yells at their phone forgetting that we can't hear them, is a parody of Twilight Zone episode.
00:32:27
Speaker
It is a parody of a Twilight Zone episode. Yes. But Yes. it's It's just my first frame of reference is always The Simpsons. yeah But it is a parody of a Twilight Zone episode. So it's it's also like that Twilight Zone episode where Franklin, every time somebody is getting out of line or being what he considers mean, he like reprograms them.
00:32:50
Speaker
And so the world is like, this version of the world is like completely under his thumb. And so Valeria... creates a plan along with Jean Grey to make it so that they they get caught by Franklin, basically.
00:33:10
Speaker
And in that happening, um she catches Franklin in like a loop where they both die. And he's like, but you're going to die too. And she goes, that's fine as long as you also lose. Yeah.
00:33:27
Speaker
And it's it's fucking cold. but get less um The line, yeah I can't beat you, so I just have to make sure you lose. That shit's good.
00:33:38
Speaker
Well, the the thing that I think is super cold is when Franklin says, please, this is murder. You're killing me. And Valeria goes, yes, but for as long as I have left Franklin, I can live with that.
00:33:50
Speaker
Cold. Yeah, Valeria Richards... She doesn't fuck around, man. She got a little doom in her. She got a little doom in her. Right before the end, ah she like reaches into the universe to try to figure out how to prevent Franklin from being this way.
00:34:12
Speaker
And ah comes up with a way to do that in just four words. And then the tease at the end of the issue is that we're going to learn what the four words are. And I can't wait.
00:34:24
Speaker
The thing that I really liked about this issue, and the thing that I think is fun about being into
Sword Ratings and Fan Interaction
00:34:32
Speaker
comics in the way that you and I are into comics, where you know we are obsessed and think about them all the time and talk about them all the time, and the fact that we get to follow certain people up for long periods of time and see how their careers change,
00:34:54
Speaker
The idea of that that Valeria talks about in this issue of Reed Richards as a thought experiment, thinking about what he would do if he woke up and and knew he was not in his own world, but couldn't like had no memory of where he was. like How he would determine that.
00:35:17
Speaker
And I know from reading dinosaur comics 15 years ago, but That's like a thing Ryan North does. Like, yeah wrote about that at some point. about I think it's literally in a dinosaur comic that, like, as T-Rex... So i get I guess I shouldn't say that Ryan North does it. We don't know.
00:35:35
Speaker
We do know T-Rex does it. But the idea of, like, you know, like, oh, okay, how would I determine what the deal is with this world if I suddenly had no memory?
00:35:48
Speaker
ah Like, I think that's, like, a really, like... a fun premise that he used for a six panel joke 15 years ago. And now it's like, not the main element of this book probably, but also like a fun little jumping off point.
00:36:06
Speaker
It's fun to see creators kind of riff on ideas that they've had um and, and see the development of those and how they think about them and how they, they change and, and how they repurpose them over the years.
00:36:20
Speaker
In a lot of ways, that's what I like about Kirby. You know? Yeah, i was I was going to say, if you want to honor Kirby in your Fantastic Four comic, then absolutely ruminate on themes that you've been thinking about for your whole life and whole career.
00:36:34
Speaker
but Who's your favorite Jack Kirby super soldier? Is it Captain America the first time? Captain America the second time? OMAC? Silver Star? Let's see. Super Soldiers, Space Gods...
00:36:49
Speaker
Monsters that don't want to be monsters. Yeah. ah there And weirdies. Yeah. One last comic that we're going to talk about is ah New Gods, which this is number six.
00:37:08
Speaker
um Which, Chris, I know you didn't read, and I'm not going to give anything away here, because there's not a lot of plot to give away, really. Yeah. um This is a ah ah story chiefly about the Black Racer.
00:37:22
Speaker
um This is written by Rom V with art by Felipe Andrade and Evan Cagle for two like fairly distinct stories.
00:37:36
Speaker
the the The story that Evan Cagle draws is more plot-focused, more of like continuing what's been going on in this book up to now. But the other part with the Black Racer, I'm not going to say it's plotless because it's not. like Things happen in that section.
00:37:59
Speaker
But it really got me thinking about – I don't know if there's enough of it to call it a trend just yet – But it it really reminds me of what's also kind of the vibe and feel of the Ultimate X-Men book right now.
00:38:19
Speaker
Chris, I think we're living in an era of like mainline Big Two vibes comics.
00:38:29
Speaker
didn't Okay, interesting. Now, I would posit that that many comics from... from many eras, are primarily vibes-based.
00:38:40
Speaker
Sure. I think there was a time, as a comics reader, that if I picked up an issue of a comic, and it was mostly vibes and not a lot of plot momentum, I would be annoyed by that.
00:38:56
Speaker
Now, I'm way more cool with it. Now? You're like, it's vibes, baby. It's vibes, baby. I feel it. It's vibes. like I enjoyed reading this issue greatly, even though like you know I don't know that it had a ton of momentum ah plot in terms of plot.
00:39:17
Speaker
um But like the art is beautiful and different and kind of abstract in a lot of ways. And it's – I don't know how to explain it other than vibes-y.
00:39:31
Speaker
With that, i I enjoyed it a whole bunch. So, um you know, Viva the viva the Vibes comic. um Sorry, apologies to David Mack, who I always got mad
00:39:47
Speaker
about his vibe Vibes comics. Yeah. I mean, that that dude that dude did some Vibes comics, for sure. Absolutely, he did.
00:39:58
Speaker
Yeah. like And look, Matt, I'm going to say circa 2000. I don't think you're wrong on that one. thats but All right, ah Chris, how about we rake some swords? Let's get into it. Rate.
00:40:15
Speaker
I said rank, I meant rate. Let's rate some swords.
00:40:22
Speaker
DC high volume Batman. The Dark Knight's definitive DC comic stories. Adapted directly for audio for the very first time.
00:40:33
Speaker
Fear. I have to make them afraid. He's got motorcycle. Get after him I'll have you shot. You mean blow up the building. From this moment.
00:40:45
Speaker
None of you are safe. New episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. but when a swing must sos the yaw cho po All right, Chris, our first sword to rate comes for to us from CJ Kroll.
00:41:00
Speaker
I might have to forward you this email because I don't know if you would remember this sword by description, but I think you would remember it if you looked at it.
00:41:11
Speaker
Okay. Okay. So I'm gonna i'm just going to forward this to you. um But in the meantime, I'll read the email. It says, Dear Matt and Chris, for segment one to one to ten of Swords, I would like to submit Spawn's sword that he received from God, who is a talking dog, in Spawn Resurrection No. 1, and used in Spawn The sword not only looked badass and chopped demons very well, but also enhanced his powers and abilities, and he could pull it out of thin air like a cartoon mallet.
00:41:43
Speaker
Attacks should be two images. The cover of Spawn Resurrection No. 1, which clearly shows Spawn and his sword. Scene Resurrection No. 1, in which God, who is a talking dog, is giving Spawn the sword. Alright.
00:41:56
Speaker
You and I, famously, have not read Spawn. I've read zero issues. I believe you've read one. I've read more than one. I've read, i think I read maybe the first 12.
00:42:10
Speaker
Okay. Because my brother had those issues, and i' i read them. I remember reading, I read them up until, like, Alan Moore wrote it for an issue, I think.
00:42:22
Speaker
Okay, so you've read, like, the first 10. or Yeah, 10 or 12. Here's what I'll say. This is the first thing that has made me want to read Spawn. because this at god is I don't know this sword, but it fucking whips.
00:42:39
Speaker
I'm looking at Spawn Resurrection number one right now.
00:42:44
Speaker
Spawn pulls that sword out of a stone, and ah God, who's not just talking dog, he's a border collie who communicates telepathically through narrative captions, because Paul Jenkins wrote those.
00:42:57
Speaker
says, take my sword of the spirit, for it is my word. Don't go back as my champion. Go back as their champion, Al. Be the champion of the people of free will and self-determination.
00:43:07
Speaker
Be great. Be strong. Be spawn.
00:43:13
Speaker
That kicks ass, actually.
00:43:18
Speaker
so Spawn Resurrection was just a one-shot. Yes. I guess. um This is a, I mean, God, this is a spawn-ass looking sword. It is as spawny as you can imagine. So so if you have if if listeners are not familiar with how the sword looks, it's it is essentially a rectangle.
00:43:40
Speaker
it's It's less like a sword and more like a slab of iron, honestly. ah i don't know that I would go that far. But it it is like... it It's squared off at the edge, at the top of...
00:43:55
Speaker
at the top and and But what prevents it from being just a pure rectangle is that there are little indentations down at the bottom, and then at the top, there's a there's a big like C shape near the top of the sword, and then it also there's a part that like juts out, making kind of like, I don't even know how to describe that shape. It's just like they stuck a triangle on it.
00:44:26
Speaker
It's like a fin. It's kind of like, it's it's like how, it's like a little Cool J's hat, which is like a shark fin. Yeah, it's like yellow little Cool J's hat. Oh, and there's a skull at the bottom.
00:44:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Just before you get to the hilt, it's got like glow glowing green eyes and teeth.
00:44:47
Speaker
It is a cool looking sword, I gotta say. Yeah, man. it's i like it's If I saw this sword in isolation, I don't know if I'd think it was cool, but when I see Spawn holding it, I'm like, obviously.
00:45:01
Speaker
ah it does look like Spawn's sword. It could not be anything but Spawn's sword. Also, it's got like the the pommel of it, has a hole with a chain through it, so it's attached to Spawn's chains.
00:45:20
Speaker
it's a Yes, which is ah honestly rad. now i gotta to say, man, I'm really, honestly, weirdly, looking forward to getting our first one sword.
00:45:36
Speaker
We have a two, yeah but we haven't gotten like the worst swords yet. So i'm i I was kind of looking forward to that, and then I see this and I'm like, no, this one kicks ass.
00:45:49
Speaker
It's pretty good. I'm looking at Spawn holding the sword. I'm just looking at this cover. Spawn looks like he can fuck a dude up. I'm curious as to who designed this. Well, the art on the issue is John Boy.
00:46:04
Speaker
Yeah, the John Boy is the artist on the issue. I don't know if John Boy designed the sword. i mean, to Todd McFarlane ah is credited. Todd McFarlane and John Boy did the cover.
00:46:16
Speaker
So this might be this might be a tat original. I will say that in other drawings of the sword, like I'm looking at the cover to Spawn 251, which is credited to John Boy, ah does not look as cool.
00:46:29
Speaker
all right let's All right, let's see. 251? Yeah, Spawn 251. He doesn't even have the sword on the cover of 252. Well, he's doing he's doing kind of a perspective-y thing. So yeah, it doesn't look as cool on that cover.
00:46:44
Speaker
it's it's It's not a very good perspective-y thing. No. No. It looks like it's made out of rubber yeah on that cover. But on the on the Spawn Resurrection cover...
00:47:00
Speaker
like for Does this sword have a name other than Spawn Sword? um There's nothing in the... there's nothing in the... the email from CJ to indicate that it has a so a name other than Spawn's. I mean, God, who is a Border Collie, calls it the Sword of the Spirit, but I believe that' that's Bible.
00:47:22
Speaker
Right? That is the Bible. Yeah.
00:47:26
Speaker
I just love how much this is Spawn's sword. i like I don't think it's like a 10 or anything. But if you were going to design a sword for spawn, that's it.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yeah, like, that's that's the thing. There are some swords that are just cool, in context, out of context. Anderil, that's a fucking sword. the The Master Sword, that's a sword.
00:47:49
Speaker
This sword, I would never purchase a replica of this sword. But when I see it, i it makes me smile.
00:48:00
Speaker
It is the sword... you would really imagine a replica being on sale at Hot Topic of? I don't know if it's anime enough for that.
00:48:13
Speaker
Maybe Hot Topic when when we were lads. i Hot Topic when this was coming out. When did this come out?
00:48:22
Speaker
It's hundred issues of Spawn ago. 2016. So it wasn't that long ago, actually. um The cover of 261 makes the sword look pretty cool.
00:48:33
Speaker
That's an Eric Larson cover, weirdly enough. I mean, if there was one thing Eric Larson was meant to draw, it's a rectangular sword. Yeah. um The design on that cover is a little bit different, though.
00:48:49
Speaker
ah But it does look cool. Eric Larson and Todd McFarlane do that issue. ah So Larson draws the issue as well. Man, that's wild.
00:49:02
Speaker
Todd Wild.
00:49:04
Speaker
Todd Wild. ah I don't know. It's pretty cool. it's you know Is it the sword I would want? Does it look like it would actually be functional yeah or like work well?
00:49:20
Speaker
I don't know. no but Here's the problem. It looks cool. Here's the problem, Matt. We are, for the sake of the bit, ranking these with Roman numerals.
00:49:32
Speaker
Yeah. if we were ranking in rining these ah If we were rating these swords with Arabic numerals, yeah obviously this sword would have to be 6.66. Obviously. and
00:49:51
Speaker
I do think it is probably a 6. I think we gotta round it up to 7.
00:49:58
Speaker
Okay, fine. that that That gives it the same rating as the Norwegian Sword of State. Which, you know, would we had like similar like cool butt feelings about that. That puts it at the same rate ah at the same level as the Atlantean Longsword, Conan Sword.
00:50:17
Speaker
And a six would put it at the ranking of Narsil.
00:50:23
Speaker
i i my My sense is that it's actually a 6. Okay, I think I can go with ah with a 6. God, its it does make me – it's maybe the happiest I've been to see one of these swords.
00:50:35
Speaker
We can put in the notes that if that this this is actually a 6.66, but we're calling it a 6. Could it be a VI.VIVI?
00:50:49
Speaker
Or does that break does that break the whole thing? Let's keep the Roman numerals neat for now. Okay. All right. All right. We may break it later, but ah let's let's keep it neat for now. here's Here's what I'll say about this sword. I bet there's a kick-ass action figure of this sword.
00:51:08
Speaker
You're probably right. You're probably right. i don't i don't I'm not going to look it up. like there's I mean, Matt.
00:51:17
Speaker
This guy owns toy manufacturer. I know. I'm sure it exists. He's making a bunch of DC Comics action figures that nobody wants right now. He's making the Superman movie figures, yeah. I mean, i mean also, I'm specifically thinking of like how there's like an ambush bug figure.
00:51:36
Speaker
Somebody wants that. Nobody wants that. Somebody wants that. Somebody who's like 55 wants that. what's that Matt, the sword's got chains. That's very funny.
00:51:49
Speaker
It's very funny. i That's what gives it the.66, I think. Yeah, yeah. The sword alone, six. With the chain attached,.66 more. Alright, Spawn Sword.
00:52:02
Speaker
it's Does it really not have a name? it's it should have name. To my knowledge, it does not have name. Spawn Sword that he received from God who was a talking dog. So, yep.
00:52:12
Speaker
To my knowledge, it does not have... Yeah, it has no additional name. Here is a submission from Dan Sylvester.
00:52:23
Speaker
this This one's going to need some adjudication. Oh, boy.
00:52:30
Speaker
It is the Green Ranger Dragon Dagger.
00:52:37
Speaker
Does that need adjudication, Matt? Well, Dan contends that it is a very short sword. Interesting. Interesting, because what did you just say? What did you just tell me it was called?
00:52:48
Speaker
What did you just tell me it was called, Matt? Well, Dan says that the original name, the the Japanese name, is the Ziosuken, which is the Beast Play Sword, and that it is called a short sword on the show.
00:53:05
Speaker
That's, that's, there's, there's, I'm sorry, no world in which that is a sword. That's a dagger. Saba's a sword. You can send in Saba. I'll rank Saba all day long.
00:53:18
Speaker
Dan also notes that it's the only sword that can, that is also a flute that lets you summon a robot Godzilla. um Here's the thing, though. It's not the only sword that can do that because it's not a sword.
00:53:30
Speaker
I don't, I don't. People are trying to get one over on me.
00:53:36
Speaker
And it's, it's, it's, I'm about ready to quit the show. So, so you're not, you're not buying the original name being Beast Play Sword.
00:53:48
Speaker
You're not buying that. Absolutely not. You're saying by appearance, it is definitely not a sword. Matt, look at it. What do you think?
00:53:58
Speaker
It's got a hilt like a sword. it's up Matt, do you want me to show you a dagger I have within arm's reach right now? I know that daggers can have long hilts as well. As can knives.
00:54:12
Speaker
also i Also, flutes don't have those kinds of valves. it's it's a I hate that I'm doing this, because I'm playing right into the hands of my enemies.
00:54:27
Speaker
But... it's I feel like it's not a flute, it's a trumpet. And it's certainly not a sword, it's a dagger. I guess you could say it was like an oboe. Because oboes have mouthpieces like that.
00:54:44
Speaker
Yeah, but if you look but let if when you listen to the... like
00:54:50
Speaker
Like, that' so that doesn't sound like a combo. You're thinking about the actual sound it makes. Yeah. I see. um Does he ever actually use it as a weapon? It's been a long time since I've seen Power Rangers. Yeah, a little bit.
00:55:03
Speaker
He does? it's been a long time since I've watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Certainly more recently than you have. Yeah. ah but But, yeah, like he he he fights with it and also can like shoot blasts out of it like he does, you know.
00:55:19
Speaker
Alright, so you have determined that it's not a sword. I, I, no, look, it's, I haven't determined that it's not a sword. The word sword has determined that it's not a sword.
00:55:32
Speaker
The fact that it's called the Dragon Dagger. Do you think they wouldn't have called it a sword if anybody at Saban had looked at that and thought it was a sword?
00:55:44
Speaker
Fair point. It is very short. Oh, it's also got... like Okay, it's got little, like, valves you press in like a trumpet. Yeah, like a trumpet. Okay, I didn't even see those. it's Matt, my enemies are a raid against me.
00:56:03
Speaker
Alright, because it is called the Green Ranger Dragon Dagger, are not going to raid it. And I don't, like, I'm i'm looking for that original name.
00:56:16
Speaker
Here, I can look it up. It's spelled Z-Y-U-S-O-U-K-E-N. Right, because it's... Z-Ranger. Z-Ranger. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:56:27
Speaker
Z-Y-U... S-O-U-K-E-N. Oh, wow, it auto-completes. Z-Ranger. That's wild. ah Let's see.
00:56:39
Speaker
ah i would You know what? i Weirdly enough, I would say that the Yellow Ranger's daggers aren't even daggers. Those are knives. But, you know.
00:56:51
Speaker
You know. that's Look, i know I know I care about the rules. Even if nobody else does. The Red Ranger has a sword for sure. Red Ranger? That's a sword!
00:57:02
Speaker
It's about three times longer than the Dragon Dagger. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a sword. That's a sword. I'll rank that one.
00:57:14
Speaker
Okay. on the On the Ranger wiki, it is called a short sword. But but that is that's a dagger. Come on. That's incredibly incorrect.
00:57:25
Speaker
All right. ah i'm I'm hitting Google Translate. I feel like there's... feel like there's... ah sorry Sorry, Dan.
00:57:36
Speaker
it's It's not happening. Well, when I paste this into Google Translate, it detects it as Haitian Creole. Well, yeah because you're not putting in like actual like Hiragana characters. Correct.
00:57:52
Speaker
Yes, yeah I know. ah But... Yeah. ah According to the wiki, it does stand it does translate to Beast Play Sword.
00:58:04
Speaker
Incorrect. Although, actually, o I seem to remember that, and and someone can correct me on this if I'm wrong, I seem to remember that there actually is no Japanese word that means dagger.
00:58:24
Speaker
that that That they only have eight words for sword, like various words for sword, tai chi and katana, obviously, but but that they they don't have...
00:58:35
Speaker
the the like a word for a shorter blade. other than i get Well, I guess they do have Wakazashi and Tonto. Maybe I'm just talking complete bullshit. Maybe i had a dream one time.
00:58:49
Speaker
That's fine. That's fine. ah the the The word Soken doesn't seem to mean sword at all.
00:59:01
Speaker
Or at least the first definition is not. It There are a lot of different things that... Oh, it does it does mean sword, blade, or saber, apparently. I mean, yeah you want to call it the beast the beast play blade?
00:59:14
Speaker
the Hell yeah. Absolutely. But Soken means so many other things. It means modesty. It means constitution. It means swift.
00:59:26
Speaker
It means healthy and strong. The word Soken... means so many different things, and has different many different kanji to represent it.
00:59:39
Speaker
That's wild. Okay. ah Languages. Languages, man. Anyway, stop trying to get one over on me.
00:59:47
Speaker
Alright, here's our next ah submission. You knew that was a a dagger when you sent it. You knew it. You put an argument into that email, because you knew you were going to argue it.
01:00:00
Speaker
um boy Here's our next submission. It's from kate Bishop, Real Blade. very that's That's very funny. That's good continuity. So Kate's submission is lesser known sword, but one that Kate thinks deserves some love.
01:00:17
Speaker
It's the Fleur du Mal, a.k.a. the Sword of the Guillotine, as seen in Contest of Champions by Al Ewing and Paco Medina. It has all the makings of a Top Chopper, a legendary sword passed around through the ages that thirsts for blood and speaks to its wielder, asking to be fed.
01:00:33
Speaker
Plus, it looks sick as fuck. ah Yeah. Yeah. ah hard agree on everything you said.
01:00:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's a dope sword. That sword kicks ass.
01:00:50
Speaker
that That is, like, count there are some people there are some people who haven't read that Contest the Champions book and they don't know about Guillotine. Janine Selvage.
01:01:03
Speaker
That's right. Janine Selvage. Who is guillotine?
01:01:09
Speaker
Like, if you're going to make a if you're going to make a ah like national stereotype superhero, that's how you do it baby.
01:01:18
Speaker
Yeah, um this is... I just took a quick look on the Marvel Wiki here. Le Fleur de Mal appears to be a sentient being with a never-ending thirst for blood. Yep.
01:01:29
Speaker
Hell yes. um This is another sword with a skull at the bottom. of the blade But it's turned the other way than it is on Spawn's sword.
01:01:42
Speaker
So it's the the skull is facing up when the sword is turned down. And um it looks rad as shit. And it's it's red, and then there's a red stripe that goes down the blade of the sword through the middle all the way to the tip.
01:02:01
Speaker
And you know what's going to get me hype about a sword? You know what I love as a feature of a sword? Color on the blade. Yeah. yeah Love it.
01:02:12
Speaker
Also, in the ah in the video game for which it was created, yes Matt, I'm going send you this picture. Just real quick.
01:02:24
Speaker
I want you to tell me if you notice anything interesting about the sword as it appears in this video game. I would say maybe the fact that it is five feet long. it's It is quite long. It's it's it's as almost as tall as Guillotine herself. Yeah, it is it is that is a Zvihander.
01:02:41
Speaker
or I guess that's a Du... Du Manor?
01:02:49
Speaker
ah it is interesting. This depiction of the sword has the most clearly visible fleur-de-lis.
01:03:00
Speaker
ah that accompanies the skull. it's It's there in some of the art from the comic, but it's not as easy to make out as a fleur-de-lis. ah But I think it looks great.
01:03:12
Speaker
No, this sword kicks ass. This sword is
01:03:19
Speaker
The weird thing is, I feel like this could also be Spawn's sword.
01:03:27
Speaker
it ah It's a little too French.
01:03:38
Speaker
Interesting. Interesting thought, Matt. i I mean, it's got, you know, thirsts for blood. like but I would say it's a little too plain, maybe. It's definitely not as, um
01:03:55
Speaker
I don't know, goth extra. as As Spawn's actual sword. ah That is true.
01:04:05
Speaker
ah But it's it's good. Yeah. I like it better than Spawn's sword. I think this this sword whips. I mean, is in that Contest of Champions book, which is great.
01:04:22
Speaker
like That's an Al Ewing book, right? Yes, it is an Al Ewing book. Yeah, that's that's the book that but brought ISO-8 into the ah Marvel Universe.
01:04:33
Speaker
what what i What I love about this sword, besides the just the design of it, um is that it's passed down over generations in a family of revolutionaries.
01:04:48
Speaker
That's awesome. Yeah. I would hope to pass down my demonic, endlessly thirsting bloodsword of vengeance were i the type of person to have an equal number of swords and children.
01:05:05
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Which I am not. I have a lot of swords.
01:05:14
Speaker
ah Pretty dope. Pretty dope. um I've what' what's What's your thought of a rating for this? I mean, you said you like it more than Spawn Sword? i do, yeah. I mean, it has a name, and the name kicks ass. And i that does go a ways with me.
01:05:34
Speaker
Yeah. I like the design better, too. but I mean... But you can like the design better, but Spawn Sword is Spawn Sword.
01:05:46
Speaker
Sure. there's it's it's It's perfectly designed for what it is. Yes, I could not imagine a better depiction of what I would imagine Spawn's sword to be.
01:05:58
Speaker
Correct, yes. I mean, what what would you give it? Would you go 7? Would you go to 8? My first thought was 8. But I could be convinced that it it's more appropriate to give it a 7. Now, an 8 would put it...
01:06:16
Speaker
ah That's the same rating that we gave the Soul Sword and Twilight and the Six-Fingered Sword of Domingo Montoya. Alright, then maybe it's more appropriately a 7.
01:06:29
Speaker
That's a shame, because I can't remember the French word for 7, but I can remember the French word for 8.
01:06:36
Speaker
Which is sweet. ah Yeah. If we were bigger Hamilton fans, we would know all the French numbers.
01:06:45
Speaker
so Sadly, we are not. yeah So if i we'll give it us we'll rate it a 7. Set, maybe? Which does put it on par with see ah the Norwegian sort of state.
01:06:58
Speaker
French for 7 is, in fact, set. I took French for and four years. It was gone by the time I was 19. nineteen I have never studied French in any form.
01:07:12
Speaker
I took Spanish in elementary school, and as soon as I could choose the language I was going to take, I took Latin. Oh, why don't you and Benito go have a little conversation that excludes me then?
01:07:28
Speaker
i remember very little of the Latin, though. I'm sorry, man. I'm a little feisty tonight. I don't know why. I remember more of like Latin roots that allow me to know English better than I do like at actual Latin like grammar and vocabulary.
01:07:48
Speaker
All right. Here's what's next. Here's our next entry. I love this one. i don't know how it's good to I don't know how it's going to ra ah rate, but I love this as a submission.
01:07:59
Speaker
This is from David from Norway. who says, ah I don't know if it'll get a very high rating, but a lot of the swords I can think of are things I think other people are going to submit.
01:08:11
Speaker
So I want to try to go against the grain a little. My submission is The Singing Sword, voiced by the real Frank Sinatra and wielded by Eddie Valiant in 1988's Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
01:08:23
Speaker
I mean, Matt, i this is this one's for you. i was a little worried when we agreed to do this, because I was like, is Matt – I know Matt likes swords.
01:08:34
Speaker
yeah But I think if we had to if we had to quantify it, I think i of the two of us, I'm the one who maybe likes swords more. yeah Probably. I would say you're probably um more more of a sword head than I. Yes.
01:08:52
Speaker
You do not own a sword. i I do not own an actual sword. i have replicas of swords. I did consider buying a sword years ago when I lived in Chicago.
01:09:08
Speaker
Because um i would routinely go to Chinatown. And every time I went to Chinatown, I would walk by stores that had swords for sale.
01:09:20
Speaker
And they looked cool as hell.
01:09:24
Speaker
And every time I went, I would go, is this the time I'm going to buy a sword and try to bring it home on the L?
01:09:32
Speaker
And I could never ah get up the nerve to to take it home with me on public transit. oh but But that was the closest I ever came to buying a sword. it was was back then.
01:09:46
Speaker
i'd Look, I would highly recommend it. Fair, fair. I think it had a measurable impact on my mental state. Okay.
01:09:58
Speaker
ah you know You know I struggle with with depression, and just having a sword around is great.
01:10:06
Speaker
ah Sure, ah of course. ah Matt, i will can I get too real with you? Sure, I will strongly consider it. ah Please, please tell me the story. I recently did a psychiatric intake for a new doctor.
01:10:19
Speaker
okay ah that I'm seeing. And one of the questions that he asked me ah was, do you have any weapons in your home?
01:10:29
Speaker
Now, to my immediate left, before you even get to the Lego sets, I have sent you a picture of the display I made using a magnetic knife block.
01:10:43
Speaker
Uh-huh, yeah. sure Of the large array of knives that I have. ah that i hope to one day have my version of the the art piece from ah Knives Out.
01:11:01
Speaker
I say Knives In.
01:11:05
Speaker
So I started that conversation with, well, I don't own any firearms.
01:11:13
Speaker
Good start. And then and two minutes later, I had to deal with the doctor asking me, so do you have any other hobbies other than
01:11:22
Speaker
collecting knives and swords.
01:11:26
Speaker
It was rough, buddy. Wait, wait, wait. wait Did they really sigh? Oh, sighed. He sighed.
01:11:35
Speaker
And I think he sighed so that he would not laugh.
01:11:43
Speaker
Look, those are legitimate hobbies. i don't i don't I don't think that... Who are you telling, Matt? I know.
01:11:52
Speaker
I don't think it's right for a doctor to present any type of judgment in this scenario. I mean, look, I get it, though.
01:12:04
Speaker
i I collect knives, and if someone told me that they collect knives, I'd be like, ooh, all right.
01:12:15
Speaker
but But, you know. Anyway, Singing Sword, this one, point being... I feel like this one's for you. Well, ah just just for the sake of of conversation, ah some very industrious person ah has clipped out just the 20 seconds of Who Framed Roger Rabbit with the singing sword.
01:12:42
Speaker
Now, okay, so and and I will describe those 20 seconds to you in excruciating detail. Okay. I would love it if you did. Near the end of the movie, this is like right at the end of the movie, ah Judge Doom has revealed himself as the killer of Eddie's brother.
01:13:04
Speaker
And ah I don't know if this is before or after he gets run over by the steamroller, but um he has a sword in his cane, which is badass.
01:13:17
Speaker
Classic. Classic. And he he draws that sword and points it at Eddie, who's got his dukes up for a fist fight, but but is not prepared for a sword fight. So he finds this red box that says Acme Singing Sword on it.
01:13:35
Speaker
And ah he he pulls the sword out. It's a toon sword. that is initially the shape of a sword, ah but then immediately like goes bendy and has a face and big ears and starts singing with the actual voice of Frank Sinatra.
01:13:55
Speaker
um Apparently the last role Frank Sinatra ever played. I feel like they didn't get him in the booth for this, though. This is a recording.
01:14:05
Speaker
I don't know. I mean... it He's credited as the voice of the sword. That's all I know. but But whatever the case, the sword has like hair that looks kind of like Frank Sinatra's hair and a face and a bow tie way down near the end of the blade.
01:14:28
Speaker
and And it's a great gag. it's It's a very funny, very good gag. This is a terrible sword, though.
01:14:39
Speaker
It's not a good sword. Like, I mean,
01:14:45
Speaker
we don't really know. Eddie gives up on it. Yeah, he tosses it away. But at that point, Eddie has has kind of, you know, reclaimed his love for toons.
01:14:59
Speaker
So it's not like he's dismissing it out of hand. and He has at least turned around on his hatred of toons. Yeah, yeah. I would say that. It's wild that, as near as I can tell, this is like a joke about Prince Valiant?
01:15:22
Speaker
Surely the singing sword, the concept of the singing sword existed prior to that. I don't know that it's a reference to anything... Other than just, like, what would be the worst sword? Just the idea of what would be the worst sword to have in a fight. Well, the a singing sword is a like it's a thing. Like, it's a thing that, yeah like, I don't know, maybe... It definitely exists in Prince Valiant.
01:15:46
Speaker
Prince Valiant has a singing sword. yeah and it's And it is enough of a phrase where it leads to this joke in Two-Friend Project Rabbits. Right. it's But it's it's ah it's a wild pole. Well, well like in Prince Valiant, it's just the name of the sword, right?
01:16:05
Speaker
The singing sword. The singing is the sound it makes as it yeah it is the music of battle. Right. So this is this is the classic cartoon joke of literalizing a metaphor.
01:16:18
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. um Why would Acme make this? Yeah.
01:16:27
Speaker
I think that's true of a lot of their products. I guess. ah why what is the What is the use case for this? They really needed somebody at that company who was like, Marvin, what are we doing here?
01:16:44
Speaker
my what's the What's the investment here? Well, the disappearing ink ends up being pretty handy, I guess. That's true. My sense of this is that it is It is deeply unusable or unuseful as a sword, but it is a good gag, and for that reason I will give it a three.
01:17:09
Speaker
Okay. All right. Like, as a sword, it's probably a one or two, but it's funny, so I'll give it a three. i And in the notes I would put, good gag, bad sword.
01:17:23
Speaker
Good gag, bad sword. Good gag, bad sword. Alright, here's our next submission. but they they they This might be the last time they made a new cartoon that included a weird caricature of Frank Sinatra.
01:17:43
Speaker
Bringing an end to probably 100 installments of that saga. yeah Frank Sinatra, I believe...
01:17:57
Speaker
Well, maybe he didn't die. Maybe it was a while before he died. ah He'd know... Well, he was ten more years before he died. um But, yeah. This... I can't... There might have been a Sinatra caricature on, like, Animaniacs or something.
01:18:16
Speaker
Maybe. I know one of those cartoons did, like, the the classic Dean Martin caricature. Yeah.
01:18:27
Speaker
But I would have to like research it. Alright, this submission is from Tim Barnett, who wants us to rank Stormbringer.
01:18:41
Speaker
That's Elric's sword. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I sent you a picture of Elric like two days ago. you sure did.
01:18:53
Speaker
Why does everyone who draws Elric of Meldebonnet... They're like, yeah, he he's sexy, right? I mean, it makes so it makes some sense.
01:19:07
Speaker
It does make some sense. honor Elric, elric the the fantasy hero of author Michael Moorcock.
01:19:19
Speaker
oh Yeah, um ah do you ever feel like you need to get Blood and Souls for Arioch?
01:19:29
Speaker
Do you ever feel like you need to be just a real sexy little man who who needs to reap blood and souls for Ariok?
01:19:42
Speaker
Because if you if you if you do feel like that, you need to get yourself a Stormbringer.
01:19:48
Speaker
The Black Blade. The Ebony Blade. Yes. What is interesting um about Stormbringer, in particular, like...
01:20:05
Speaker
you might Elric has not ever really been adapted into like movies and TV, right? Not to movies. There are a bunch of comics. Yeah, there are comics.
01:20:18
Speaker
um But i don't think I don't think this weird, this weird, like... pale like very sexy, frequently mostly naked, yeah decadent, noble, who murders for ah an evil god. i don't know i don't know why that never got over but with audiences.
01:20:46
Speaker
I mean, it did. It got over it got over with some audience. i mean i mean, yeah, the the audiences that liked it liked it a lot. And by that, I do mean me. but My point is, like,
01:20:58
Speaker
you know It got adapted into some comics, but it's never been adapted on into like a visual medium, like a video medium, where like there's a version of Stormbringer that like people envision as this is what the sword looks like. right there's There's the version on the book covers, and there's the version in the comics, but... like you You can kind of still just imagine Stormbringer to look like whatever the description evokes in your head, right?
01:21:30
Speaker
Yeah, man. um Here's what we know, i think, canonically. It's black. It's black. It's got runes. Yeah. It's sharp as hell. Yes. um The hilt, I'm looking at different depictions of it, and like...
01:21:49
Speaker
The hilt is is depicted all kinds of different ways. I like the one where it's like it's like a fork with a long middle part. Yeah, so so a lot of people do seem to think of it as like having a forked hilt.
01:22:04
Speaker
I'm looking at a Mike Mignola drawing of it from Elric the Dreaming City, where it's just very kind of like...
01:22:15
Speaker
plain looking, but like dark black ebony. um that That actually looks dope. Yeah. Yeah. that ah the The one on ah the Dreaming City? Yeah.
01:22:28
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah, that does look badass. um But like, it's it's interesting. It's interesting to have like this rather famous, rather popular
01:22:42
Speaker
fantasy sword that That there's not a standardized visual depiction of. yeah
01:22:51
Speaker
But I dig that. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all. but yeah It's like how there can be like different interpretations. I mean, there's different interpretations of Andriel and and g Glam during the Foehammer.
01:23:04
Speaker
right it's just Now we have movies versions that are like, okay, people are like, okay, that's what it looks like. you know But I think God, when did Elric... Elric starts in 1961, right?
01:23:22
Speaker
And... Do you know about Stormbringer's brother? Uh, no. i've I've never read any Elric to speak of. Matt, did you you didn't know that Stormbringer had a brother?
01:23:35
Speaker
Mournblade? Yeah. You know how there's you know there's none of those games you like without Berserk? There ain't none of those games you like without Elric, either. i I'm sure that's true, yeah.
01:23:47
Speaker
I'm sure that's true. Yeah, man. ah Like... it is It is a... Like, I feel like that's... It can't be the first time... But... It's gotta to be, like, the first time in pop culture that there was a Blacksword.
01:24:07
Speaker
You know? It's gotta be. Maybe. don't know, man. Maybe I'm talking complete shit out of my ass.
01:24:21
Speaker
I do love it when ah sword is not the standard sword color. The blade.
01:24:32
Speaker
Anytime there's a sword in a in a video game or a book or anything, where it's like described as having a ah blade that's like a unique color. You have, you have gained my interest. Hell yeah, man.
01:24:50
Speaker
Uh, that is, um, why I would love for someone to, ah submit the sword from, ah the, uh, for Redwall, the sort of Martin, uh, which, uh,
01:25:05
Speaker
I think it in most art is actually depicted as just having like a steel blade. But when I was a kid, because I think in the book it's described as having like ah a bit of a red tint to it, so I always thought of that sword as being red.
01:25:22
Speaker
ah I love that. i love I love it when a sword has a slightly different blade color. It's always cool. You know how we talked about the sword from Utena, and how that sword's lesbians?
01:25:38
Speaker
Yeah. Stormbringer is drugs.
01:25:42
Speaker
ah Like, literally, I believe, per Michael Moorcock, Stormbringer's drugs.
01:25:53
Speaker
Because it's cursed. Yeah. And and ah will betray you and is an embodiment of chaos that serves Ariok, the god of blood.
01:26:06
Speaker
um But yeah, man, it does kick ass. ah stop I mean, God, Stormbringers.
01:26:17
Speaker
I would say if if you were to ask anyone who thinks a lot about swords... Hey, name five magic swords.
01:26:28
Speaker
hu Stormbringer is going to be in there. I don't think Stormbringer is going to be number one. Excalibur is going to be number one. Let's be real. yeah Stormbringer is going to be like number five, but it's going to be in there. A fantasy fiction head, for sure, is going to put Stormbringer in there, I would think.
01:26:49
Speaker
Also, God, what a cool name. Great name. Stormbringer. Yeah, great name. also love that like Elric is described as like being a frail, little weak weirdo.
01:27:03
Speaker
But you can't fucking beat him, because he's got this sword that hates him. he's His sword's too good. i mean this i mean, this is the second time we've had that conversation on a War Rocket Ajax rating or ranking segment.
01:27:19
Speaker
That's true. Because Elric did show up on the Great Endor Fight. That's true, yeah. Yeah, wielding the ebony blade. And notably, Elric did not, like, the sword made it further in that than Elric did.
01:27:34
Speaker
but That is correct, yes. i'm I'm just looking at this um Dreaming City series, which has, like, a bunch of different ah
01:27:46
Speaker
alternate covers. And, like, there are so many different... Stormbringer itself is drawn in so many different ways. Yeah. Yes. It's kind of great. wait Well, again, it is a sort of chaos.
01:28:01
Speaker
Yeah. So it might just look like that. It might just change its own shape. Yeah. Oh, man. Is this a fucking Yoshitaka Amano piece?
01:28:12
Speaker
God damn. This version of Stormbreaker looks cool as shit. Yeah. it the the the the The thread between all of them is ah that it looks cool.
01:28:27
Speaker
I yeah feel... That looks as hell. Yeah, man. I feel like Stormbringer is like maybe a nine. um i would i would be cool with that.
01:28:37
Speaker
I would be cool with that mean, it is cursed. It is not a sword you would want.
01:28:46
Speaker
But it is cool. It is cool as shit. Yeah. Yeah, I think Stormbringer is a nine. I think nine is a good a good rating. um We're still waiting for that still waiting for that one.
01:29:02
Speaker
Let's see. we've got some We've got a couple of twos. We've got some threes. I think we only have one four.
01:29:13
Speaker
Do we have a five? I don't think we've got a five. We have a five. We have one five, the Ryder Palash. Ryder Palash is a five. We've got some sixes.
01:29:27
Speaker
And we've got some sevens. And eights and nines and tens. But weve we have the only rating we've not given so far is a one. So, exciting.
01:29:41
Speaker
Exciting to get to whatever the one is going to be.
01:29:48
Speaker
I'm looking forward to it. for For utility, the Singing Sword could have been a one. But it is funny. yeah Yeah. You were delighted to think about it. And I think that's a key.
01:30:02
Speaker
Again, ah vibes. You've got to go with vibes, yeah. um All right. That's going to have to do it for this segment of One to Ten of Swords. I think we got some good additions to the list here.
01:30:19
Speaker
So if you would like to submit ah sword, and please make it a sword. Oh my god.
01:30:27
Speaker
For us to rate, go to, or send it by email to warrocketpodcast at gmail.com. That is also where you can send every story ever lists, or let us know if you want to sponsor the show, or ah get in touch about whatever else.
01:30:43
Speaker
Like, ah I don't know.
01:30:48
Speaker
something you want to let us know about. Oh yeah, man. but so Say hi.
01:30:54
Speaker
You can also get in touch with us. We're on blue sky. We're at war rocket, ajax.com on blue sky. We're on Tumblr war rocket podcast. Tumblr.com. We have a discord that you have to be invited to, to join. But if you ask us nicely, we will provide you with an invitation and you can go over there and join them and be part of our discord community. And, uh,
01:31:17
Speaker
it's ah It's a fun place where cool people are constantly talking to each other and joking around and and having a good time. So um just just ask, and we will provide you an invitation over there for the Discord.
01:31:35
Speaker
Our website is warrocketajax.com. It is every episode of the show we've ever done. warrocketwiki.com is the fan run information hub for this show for Rocket Ajax. It has all of our lists on there.
01:31:49
Speaker
It's got ah pages with info about us and other stuff from the show like The Good Hat. ah So go check that out. If you want to find me and my stuff, go to mattdwilson.net to find links to my comics, my books, my other podcasts, and my social medias.
01:32:09
Speaker
Chris, where can people find you? everybody can find me by going to the-isb.com. That is my website. It has links to all the stuff that I do here and there around the internet and some stuff that you can read right there for free.
01:32:23
Speaker
Or you can give me $20 for it. It's up to you. ah that That'd be cool.
01:32:31
Speaker
I think. Matt, I do worry that we like swords too much.
01:32:37
Speaker
I don't know if we're ever going to get to a one. ah Time will tell. It would have to be a bad sword. It would have to be a bad sword, but i think I think it's possible. I think we can find that sword that is so shitty that it's a one.
01:32:54
Speaker
But it just it has to be bad and not entertaining. Bad, not entertaining, and not aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, all three are what get you a one. So, um folks, if you're looking for that bottom shooter, it's got to be that.
01:33:09
Speaker
And it also has to be a sword, because if it's not a sword, we won't raid it. I'm not going to...
01:33:18
Speaker
You knew.
01:33:22
Speaker
That was a dagger?
01:33:26
Speaker
I would i would um might be madder at that than I was about Wolverine's Claws. Because Wolverine's Claws, at least, we only jokingly call those knives. That shit is called the Dragon Dagger.
Announcements and Farewell
01:33:41
Speaker
um I think we might actually be taking next week off. Because Chris is going to be out of town. And also, my birthday is coming up.
01:33:53
Speaker
Ooh, maybe someone will get you a sword. Maybe. Everybody, um get Matt a sword. I actually meant to make my birthday my check this week because i don't think we're doing an episode before my birthday. But, c'est la vie.
01:34:08
Speaker
um But yeah, i think we're going to take next week off. And then we'll be back, and I think we most likely are going to have a few guests lined up when we come back. So come back for that.
01:34:22
Speaker
That's right. Until then, everybody, thanks for joining us. And don't forget, Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. As are abortion rights. Drag is not a crime.
01:34:33
Speaker
Diversity is not the problem, and cops aren't your friends. But we love you. We love you. Yeah!