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Best of Seniors 94 - My Relationship With Alcohol
54 Plays4 months ago
Seniors 94 was the original podcast. This episode with Jake was one of the best ones. The more conversations we had with people the more we realized everyone on earth is a POS. Everyone struggles, feels insecure, has baggage and takes nasty dumps. Everyone!
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Transcript
Introduction and Farewell to the Past
00:00:01
Speaker
Yo, Conti, welcome to Seniors94, fella. This is our intro. We just had Christmas. You just sent an email to your former coworkers saying, peace out.
00:00:14
Speaker
Hit me. You just looking at a text right on air? Yeah, somebody. Just ignoring me? No, no, dude, I'm sorry. So, well, is that my cue?
00:00:26
Speaker
Can talk now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that okay, Lance? Can I talk? Hit it. Hit
Emotional Turmoil and Personal Growth
00:00:32
Speaker
it. ah Well, this is the last day that I'm, that well, I'd say working, but I haven't worked in a while. But last day that I'll be a part of the Viren Medical Technologies olympus ah Olympus brand. And I got to send my computer back.
00:00:50
Speaker
And I, you know, I haven't really thought about it. just kind of, when I, when I heard they're going to shut down the business operation, I just thought, fuck everybody. And now today I just sent out an email to all the people that I care about at work. And now I'm nostalgic and emotional and it's compounded with everything else going on Christmas with the kids.
00:01:09
Speaker
ah Even our, our, our inner, our, our segment yesterday with our old buddy, Jake, it's all, it's all there. and my, Am I, uh, I just feel like, uh, Matt, why are you, I just feel like this, this thing's never going to end.
00:01:26
Speaker
Like I'm nowhere close to the end of anything. Figuring out what I'm going to with my life figuring out how to deal with the separation of the kids. a It's like I'm in mile one of the, of the life changing marathon and it's all kind of hit me this week.
00:01:41
Speaker
So yeah, makes sense, man. Are you, is the, wedding so I had to get a towel case I start crying. How's that for vulnerability, listeners? There you go. It's real. ah Go ahead.
Is Job Loss a New Opportunity?
00:01:55
Speaker
Is the job thing more of closure or is it more of like, fuck, I got to figure something out next? It's, you know, i'm i like i'm starting to realize it's like, I don't know. I just feel like ah it's the it's like the value I provide to my family is just that as as an earner. And I'm like, I can't i can't escape it. I can't take take any time for myself.
00:02:19
Speaker
i can't I can't pause for a few seconds. I have to think of the next thing. And I'd much rather not get back into something i don't have any passion for. But I don't know if that's that's an option, but I have to have some balls right now and and figure it out.
00:02:34
Speaker
So that's kind of scary, but also it's a great opportunity, but it's it's kind of scary. And this thing, now I'm emotionally invested in this. Financially, Seniors 94 hasn't been as lucrative as I thought. I thought by time we get to episode 10, I'd have a helicopter, bro.
00:02:50
Speaker
I thought I'd have a helicopter.
00:02:54
Speaker
And are you giving yourself
Exploring Career Options and Indecision
00:02:56
Speaker
though some months? Because you got severance, so like it's not like you have to like hit the street right now and find a job. Are you giving yourself two, three months maybe or what?
00:03:06
Speaker
Yeah, I just, I don't know. i think I've said this before. I don't if while recording or not. My answer to everything right now is like, I don't know. I'm in this this yeah thing of like, yeah I don't know, but I got to figure some stuff out. But yeah, I'm giving myself time. So here's where I'm at.
00:03:24
Speaker
here's what Here's what I'm thinking. I i would don't want to get back into a medical device operations job. Although medical device is abundant in Costa Rica, I have zero passion for it.
00:03:38
Speaker
And I have no desire to do that. But it's a way that I can earn money. So part of me goes, you know what? You got your podcast with Lance. Got some friends you're enjoying hanging out with. you got your kids. Who cares? Let's go get a job. Make some money.
00:03:52
Speaker
Don't try not to get emotionally invested. Just work with integrity and... and and and And everything will be fine. And the other side of me is like, nope, now's the time to find some passion, combine earning an income with with something you like, and now's the time to to figure it out at all costs, which is a harder path, but maybe the the end result will be better.
00:04:16
Speaker
and then But I'm just riding the fence on everything, even with this podcast. like I don't have anything prepared for open mic this week, Lance, listeners. I don't have it. and i and i sat And I sat down last night and just sat there and was like, shit.
00:04:32
Speaker
And nothing happened. yeah And so I'm in i'm in this like purgatory of so many different things right now. And I talk, you know, the conversation with with my wife or like, it's just so, so.
00:04:50
Speaker
like clear is how I describe it. it's It's like there's no color to it. And it's just like, so you I don't have that. i don't have somebody there I can talk to. Yep.
00:05:01
Speaker
Yeah. Sounds fucking hard. So here's here's my options, dude. This is what I'm, this is, there's I'll lay it out. You can edit this out. But one is go is start applying for jobs, remote jobs, hopefully. Just regular jobs, operations jobs. I'm i'm kind of doing that. Two, started teaching English, as I mentioned, in some of my open mic segments. Pursue that, see if I can make a little more money at that. That's a that's kind of fun, but it doesn't pay that well. And three,
00:05:31
Speaker
they're legalized like They're starting to give licenses for for hemp and and cannabis cultivation in Costa Rica. Basically, fire up a startup and do that, which I kind of like because i don't know why. I just feel some sort of counterculture.
00:05:48
Speaker
ah Like I need to do something that's not normal right now. Like to not feel like a ah complete fucking wimp. And that just seems like becoming a narco, a legal narco would be would be the ultimate double bird to society. Even though that's not, that's like completely normal now in the US, it's not even like a thing.
00:06:08
Speaker
So I'm pursuing that as well. and then my And then I still always have this, I've been making pizza now for like a decade. I can always fire up a pizza, a pizza pizzeria or some business like that. But then I think about the time and energy it takes to put into a restaurant. is Yeah. Taxing on the family life. But that also, then I go, well, you know, that'd be a great thing to have for my kids.
00:06:27
Speaker
Like when they're in their 20s, you know, like we were, you're trying to start a band. I was trying to do comedy. I didn't know what I wanted to do. and it would have been awesome if I could have just went and slung some dough around my parents' pizzeria where I was trying to figure out the world.
00:06:38
Speaker
You know, it's like a thing for them to fall back on. So what should I do, Lance?
Financial Pressures and Future Planning
00:06:45
Speaker
What should I do, man? Yeah, I don't know.
00:06:51
Speaker
ah Because there's like the, there's the realities of a family that will hit Um, no matter what. Right. They're asking me to like, my kids ask me how much money can you make on, on your, your tutoring lessons, your English list. And I just go, don't worry about it.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yeah. <unk> It's obviously creating some subconscious stress in their lives to know their dad's going be unemployed. Well, sure. Yeah, so there's that. Those realities are inescapable.
00:07:25
Speaker
And ah I guess it's just a matter of how long does it take to get some of these other more appealing things up and going? Yeah. And ah and essentially, i have to I have to find some money. I'd have to raise money.
00:07:42
Speaker
i'd have to I'd have to essentially be like ah entrepreneur startup and raise money. And so i have to I have to have a pitch and I have to ask people for money. Generally, it's interesting that a lot of people of money don't necessarily probably believe in in the... yeah the whole thing about legalization and what it's done to cities and in the Western US like Portland and Denver and all this stuff. So you got ask people to separate part ways with their cash as an investment with something that they might have doubts about.
00:08:12
Speaker
So right, which I kind of like as well. It's like, you know, so I don't know. so So it's a weird day. It's a weird time. like you know And I'm still trying to get through like Christmas. Now I got New Year's. like you know I just told my my wife, like if you want to hang out... I'm technically supposed to have the kids on Sunday, but I'm like, you want to hang out with them for New Year's, you should do it. like I'm not a big New Year's guy.
00:08:41
Speaker
And I just have some guilt now. like If I'm hanging out with them on New Year's, I should just be enjoying it. But I also feel like there's some weird guilt about it, you know?
00:08:53
Speaker
So. Right. Yeah. There's a lot. If I'm playing life coach though. Do it. Cause I, uh, I feel like that, uh, some level of stability, economic stability allows for more risk taking in the future. Uh, unless, unless the cannabis,
00:09:15
Speaker
operation seems really viable and and pretty quick to me. It's like that gets tabled, uh, and is worked on as you're, uh, maintaining a level of stability. Yeah. Same with the, I mean, the pizzeria, I could, I could see that actually getting going pretty quick, but you know, that has to be a lifestyle you want to live.
00:09:38
Speaker
You know, another idea is, that is I think this is actually work, but I don't know how to do it, but it's, it's a, is like eat pizza, learn English.
00:09:50
Speaker
Like a lot of a lot of these places where you learn the language are pretty stale. And like ah a lot of what people need is just a place to bullshit with their friends and have a conversation. So if if you're putting them in like a social setting where they're just like hanging out in a restaurant or a bar, but they're also have access to native speakers and a language, I feel like for an intermediate level person learning a language, it would be awesome. And then you have several, two revenue streams.
00:10:16
Speaker
while they're stuffing their faces, learning English, that that's another idea. That's a great idea. i mean, it really is a great idea. It just needs to be conceptualized and, you know, created. That's great, man.
00:10:29
Speaker
You fly down here three times a week to be be my honorary gringo to have conversations with? Yeah, or there could be some other model there. I'm just kidding. I'd have to charge him about a million dollars an hour to fly you in three times a week.
00:10:43
Speaker
But the the idea is like... I mean, i don't, I never got good at Spanish. I still haven't, but I haven't got good at Spanish until I had the opportunity to use it. Like I can look at textbooks and go over grammar and all this stuff, but until you're really talking to somebody, especially in in a native speaker, you're not going to, you're not going to learn the language and you might not ever get that opportunity until like, if you can do it face to face in that setting, you're going to, you're going to grow a lot.
00:11:10
Speaker
Right. So I, ah That's another idea. i don't know. I'm kind of thinking like I need to pursue everything, but then I got to be very organized my time, even, even like with this show and and all this crap. So, but you know, if you get into like a, a I say nine to five, but here it'd be like seven to six, seven to seven, then you're gonna, then i don't know if i have the time or energy to, to do
Balancing Mental Presence and Life Stress
00:11:35
Speaker
that stuff. So that's, that's what I'm worried about.
00:11:37
Speaker
Yeah, well this show dude is like not much of your time if we really break it down and you don't do creative stuff. You gotta be here though. You have to be here mentally for at least an hour. You have to be here. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:52
Speaker
Even right now, like just it took me like 10 minutes to be here. Now I'm here. And if I was worried about some fucking meeting or something stupid, like I don't know. I just need to create some positive energy.
00:12:06
Speaker
one way or another. Like I need positive inertia and believe in something. It be i might be, it might be the belief might be, well, i have a job, I'm supporting my family and everything else is on the table.
00:12:18
Speaker
That might be enough positive energy. The other energy is like, until it's like a ah message from God where it's like, until I renounce every other thing that I, that I secretly bitch about, even you and I bitch about how we don't fit in corporate America, until I like renounce all that shit and get down to rock bottom.
00:12:37
Speaker
I'll never be completely happy. That's what feel like. I feel like it's almost a religious thing. But I don't have the fucking courage or balls or energy to actually go the next step because I'm too bogged down that right now with all the other shit happening.
00:12:51
Speaker
Well, yeah, no fucking shit. Like, the the backdrop is... ah Sketchy communication with your former partner or however you want to phrase it.
00:13:04
Speaker
ah Potentially sketchy communication. it's Changes that your kids have to deal with related to that. And and i can't I can't do anything when I'm around my kids now. za right Because now I'm like, I got got to have that time with them.
00:13:22
Speaker
So I have a hard time being like, I got to go work for a little while. You guys sit here and do nothing. I can't do that yet. Plus I have this this apartment doesn't really not conducive to that. So like got to get them today and that probably shuts me down through New Year's, which is cool.
00:13:36
Speaker
But there's not, I have this, now I have this thing where it's like, I'm not doing anything moving towards a decision in anything, my relationship, my job, but I'm also not I can't neglect my time with them or or or can't neglect these feelings that I should be doing something else.
00:13:55
Speaker
I'm like frozen. Everyone's answer is you should go to therapy, you idiot. But that just puts a fucking financial burden on me that makes me feel worse. Yeah, I don't know about that.
00:14:06
Speaker
I feel like um it's a tough one because like you want you want some time to yourself, like you said, but there's not a whole lot.
00:14:19
Speaker
There's not a lot of, um I hate to use the term runway, but there's just not a lot of options for you to really ah spend some time experimenting with things that are risky or you know not financially rewarding.
00:14:34
Speaker
it's just It's just the reality of being in middle age and having kids. Right. I got to become a hustler too. People down here are good at hustling.
00:14:45
Speaker
Like for example, one thing I could do When I have access to money, it's pretty funny. People are people rent rank cars for Uber drivers here. And if my math is correct, you're getting like 60% return on your money.
00:15:01
Speaker
So if you if you buy a ah car for 10 grand, you're making five or 600 bucks a month and you're and you're getting, by ah you know in a year you're making six grand.
00:15:13
Speaker
Yeah. So I need to find shit like that. It's like passive income.
Societal Pressures and Personal Choices
00:15:17
Speaker
Why? Which I think the teaching English is kind of like that. It's just the numbers don't add up. So I think I need to have a couple of revenue streams to avoid the other thing.
00:15:26
Speaker
And if I can hustle, but but like it's got to I got to do it and I have to have a clear head to do it. And I need to set a time where it's like, all right, that's it. That's what you're going to do. Believe in it. Just figure it out.
00:15:40
Speaker
I need to have some of that figured out. I need to have some self-confidence too. I think I have definitely some self-confidence issues for some reason. I don't know if you've seen that or what.
00:15:53
Speaker
I don't know. I think there's some reasons for that in the current circumstance. But you know the path of least resistance is to get a corporate job that you you can um lean on for the stability that those jobs provide. But it's also a soul-sucking endeavor.
00:16:10
Speaker
Why do have the fear, man? I talked about it with another friend of mine who's who I work with. And I'm like, why can't I just do that and but just not get emotionally invested?
00:16:21
Speaker
And then then it's just a matter of time. just sucks my time. But like, why can't I do that? Well, a career coach will tell you to keep that stability while you're building the plans for the other things you want to do.
00:16:36
Speaker
That when you're unemployed is not the time to conceptualize it. And then the flip side is the entrepreneur will so will tell you, you go all in. on whatever your idea is and it's go for broke.
00:16:54
Speaker
That's what an entrepreneur does. They believe in it and they give it everything. So it's kind of a two sides of the extreme there.
00:17:16
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I don't know. i i need I need some income. i mean, i I don't need income right now because I have the severance, but I need to figure it out. And it's all, you know, it's all blessing and all curse. What's your, I'm not ready. I haven't, not ready to do this yet at all, but.
00:17:43
Speaker
What would you say, not that you have any experience in this, but i people are a lot of people now are kind of like, what are you doing, dude? like Why don't you take advantage just as far as moving on, like dating and stuff? And I just haven't like can't see it. I don't know if we can put this in the show, but people are like, why are you not like why are you not like just getting after it?
00:18:06
Speaker
Like, why are you not taking advantage of And I'm like, it's the same. It's the same interesting reaction that I found, like, about alcohol. or People are like, why are you not drinking? Are you sick? And i and the it seems like the logical advice would be like, hey, take your time. Don't do anything stupid.
00:18:19
Speaker
You're not even sure if the other relationship is done. But everyone's like, what are you doing, man Get out there. You need to get out there. You need to, you need like, I basically need to be some sort of man whore. And I'm like, why is that?
00:18:31
Speaker
You know? I'm not buying it. I'm not buying it, man. How long you were married? 20 years? You've been married 20 plus years? Yeah, together like... Yeah. You're not just like... You don't just like take a hard left from that and all of a sudden just start banging random chicks.
00:18:49
Speaker
Just a lot of baggage that goes with having sex with somebody else anyway. And like, yeah, I'm not sounding like the machismo guy that I do in my commercials, but...
00:19:01
Speaker
Hey, it's just not going to happen. It's going to be that easy. You could go do it, but I don't know how you're going feel great. Yeah, I don't think I could do it. But I also, like, I think, yeah, exactly. I think ah I would feel, like, horrible for a while, like, every time. And it would be some weird, like, weird cycle.
00:19:22
Speaker
So, I don't know. I mean, all that all that stuff is is weighing on me. Not necessarily that. I just... Like people think that's, I guess why why I'm bringing it up is like a lot of men are not just men, but a lot of people act like that's the solution for everything.
00:19:37
Speaker
Like that's, that's kind of like how you get your mojo back. And then through that, everything else will come clear. Like, and I'm like, really? They might be right, you know, where you're kind of like, well, you're like regaining your manhood and through that you have confidence to do other things. But I'm like, I don't know. That seems like a way for me to be sitting in the dark, feeling regretful and horrible for for a long time.
00:20:00
Speaker
and yeah and like And then have somebody else who potentially might get emotionally and physically attached to me. And then somebody else who might end up hating me. Yeah, so... yeah so Yeah, I'd set a target. Instead of that, I'd set a target for how many push-ups you want to do consecutively or how far you want to jog.
00:20:19
Speaker
I don't think going around and banging biggity-banging randoms is going to ah support you emotionally. you're you're It's not going to support your emotional health, in my humble opinion.
00:20:31
Speaker
Right. well And not even just the act of sex, just the idea of letting other people in seems challenging right now. Like, yeah, it seems some form of, of, uh, betrayal or something like that.
00:20:49
Speaker
So Merry Christmas, everybody. Hope you enjoy the episode. Yeah. That's good. That's where I'm at, man.
Holiday Reflections and Family Dynamics
00:20:57
Speaker
and And like the holidays makes it all heavier.
00:21:01
Speaker
i feel, I actually feel pretty good for some reason today. I was like, I'm starting to think about it all, but, You know, I got, we did but a lot of people, I appreciate everyone asking me how Christmas went their kids.
00:21:12
Speaker
I will, I will, the updates for this week are, I went to back to the house where my family lives. We left the boxing gloves at the door, got through it. Kids seemed super happy. And I actually felt like the kids was kind of cool as we don't, especially at that age, but we don't, where we worry about kids, but we don't realize how, how like intuitive they can be.
00:21:36
Speaker
and And what I think made them happy wasn't like, actually, I don't think they were like, oh, mom and dad are going to get back together. It was like, we're all here. That's fine, right? Like I have two people, two parents that love me here.
00:21:51
Speaker
that That was enough for them. And I could see it it. Like the relief wasn't, oh, shit, we're going to be a family. It was just like, hey we can get through an event without without any trauma together. It was like they were the adults, you know?
00:22:06
Speaker
So that went well. I mean, we did that. And then I took him to see Aquaman under, I mean, it was about $85 because I saw in some shit. I thought it sucked. My kids thought it was great. i Dude, I haven't seen a good movie in my years.
00:22:23
Speaker
We've seen all this superhero crap. It's all superhero, yeah. It's so bad. But they thought it was great, so that was good. And then and then I took them back to the to Andrea's house, their mom's, and then they hung out with her. So we did the morning together, split time, and I have no scars, no stitches.
00:22:42
Speaker
So Christmas went all right, man. Yeah, it's positive. How was your Christmas, buddy? du was good. youre ah Did you feel like the Grinch or did you bring a positive spirit? or No, I was chill. How did perform, dude?
00:22:56
Speaker
I was chill because I got all of my frustrations out ah via Seniors 94. So I was chill. It was all good. ah I got nothing to report, man. It was it was pretty solid all around, no drama.
00:23:13
Speaker
ae Well, I will say this while we're updating. our Our friend Indy was at episode 9. yeah She had her surgery. She's alive. She's okay.
00:23:24
Speaker
Is she the one that said gringos wear clean sneakers? That was probably her. Yeah. No, I know she said that. I might have sung about it.
00:23:35
Speaker
Yeah. Hilarious. She's alright. If anyone's worried about her, she's okay. I think where're we if we consider that We had something to do with Jesse's healing and then Indy's healing. I think the show were 2-0 as far as people facing life-threatening things and coming on and being healed. I mean, Jesse might have been healed before us, but I think i think Senior's 94 is healed. The only person that's not getting healed right now is me.
00:24:03
Speaker
so But you are. I am. Do you want to set up a little bit what what this episode is? How you felt about that or back back in it next week?
00:24:14
Speaker
No, I'm going to be honest. I feel kind of lazy this week. like i'm not I don't want anything to do with the news. Just can't can't deal with it. And then, you know, I don't even care that you don't have open mic.
00:24:26
Speaker
i'm just colon know It's the holidays. We deserve to just do ah a half-assed episode and and leave it at that. Closed mic this week, everybody. Yeah, yeah. We deserve it.
00:24:38
Speaker
Matt, Matt being a puss, dude. Self-loathing and stuck in his own fucking loser world. That's episode. What episode is this, by the way? Are we double digits?
00:24:50
Speaker
Should be 11. that's That's impressive, man. We're trying we're trying i want to... I'm hoping... i don't know if you saw the email, but I'm hoping next week is is' a lighthearted, fun one. I have some...
00:25:01
Speaker
have some some ah I feel like that's what we need. it's getting It's getting heavy, bro. We went colon cancer, hysterectomy. little bit about this week is related to our drinking and and moving on with your life.
00:25:18
Speaker
I think we need a more of a Bartim and Bailey style circus, fun, clown episode. Yeah, I agree. Well, all right, man. I'm going to stop recording. Happy New Year, Lance. Happy New Year, buddy.
00:25:32
Speaker
Yeah, you too, buddy. Introducing the Apothecary Scale Parenting Method. The Apothecary Scale Parenting Method delivers compelling results for two parent families interested in raising balanced kids.
00:25:47
Speaker
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00:26:27
Speaker
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00:27:03
Speaker
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00:27:28
Speaker
Matt, welcome to the men's room. We got an old friend, Jake, up in this mother effer. What up? It's good to have him here, man. It's been so long to see this guy looks the same.
00:27:39
Speaker
He looks the same, dude. He must know somebody in the skincare industry because he looks he looks amazing, dude. Yeah, there you go. No, he's a strong got a strong jaw. He's a strong, handsome man. So it's good to have him here because we only interview hot dudes.
00:27:55
Speaker
Oh, hey. That's our specialty. Do we look like we're almost 50? I don't think you guys do. i It's so weird. No, you guys look good. I do because I'm bald. yeah but oh man you got a good head. Yeah, you look good, Matt. Flowing.
00:28:10
Speaker
ah By the way, you're talking I think you're talking about skin care in our chat. I have feeling that the humidity helps skin. so I've been living in the jungle for like 10 years. i think oh my is that why you're so glowing?
00:28:24
Speaker
yeah and i'm I'm guessing that Colorado and Arizona, places where you've lived, they're terrible for skin, right? Oh, Colorado. The dryness and the... Right? yeah My wife's the expert.
00:28:38
Speaker
It seems plausible to me, for sure, about the humidity. All right. think we got that recorded, Lance. We can wrap this episode up. Perfect. all right It's nice seeing you guys.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah, man, it is good to see you. And Matt, appreciate that tangent. that That'll add a lot of value to the show. Merry Christmas, everybody, by the way. Happy holidays. yes Folks had listened to us regularly, all three of you. We caught up with Jake on the side, so you don't have to listen to that. We decided we want to talk about as a topic, just booze. ah I don't know what level alcoholism, um just the role alcohol has had in our lives, both when we were younger and and even to today.
00:29:22
Speaker
So, Jake, you're in Seattle now. yeah you know It's a depressing place. i'm just kidding. No, the weather's bad. ah Just to kick it off with a silly question, you think people drink more there relative to like where you came from, Arizona?
00:29:40
Speaker
i know if I don't know. i i do think there's something to be said about the weather and how it affects you physically and mentally, that's for sure. like One of the first things people said to us when we moved here um was, you know make sure you take vitamin D. You're not going to get a lot of sunlight because that that that would that definitely affects you. So,
00:30:00
Speaker
if you're not motivated to sort of get out of the house, the weather here will give you a lot of excuses to stay inside. So like, that's one of the things my brother, I mean, from a past episode of the men's room, my brother appeared and he lives in Seattle as well. And he told me early on, he said, just, just live your life, get outside. So to answer your question, maybe, maybe maybe being a shut in, if you're like not getting outside and being motivated, know, what are you going to do in your house? It's like all those people that were,
00:30:30
Speaker
drinking or doing whatever they're doing too much because they were in the house all day and they got bored, you know, almost, you know, so maybe. What is what is the weather like? ah I mean, I kind of know, but is it like what you'd imagine Seattle, just a constant drizzle or like what's the situation?
00:30:44
Speaker
It's a rainy season. The rainy season is a lot longer than I think any other rainy season. Right. So I'm not an expert. I can't say that I am. But, you know, right. it It's just a lot of there's a lot of weather. It's a lot of lot of rain. But then, you know, you get ah you get some pockets there, August through September and October. They're really nice. But you're going to get some off and on rain for sure. Yeah.
00:31:07
Speaker
Yeah, Jake, jake you are you're a very measured fella, so I'm just going to say what the truth is. seattle Seattle is a wasteland of rain and water and alcoholics. so My experience living in a place with weather, the thing about Colorado is you get so much sunshine. it's Even when it's cold, it's like kind of rehabilitating. I'm sure Arizona obviously is the same way. We've to deal with the heat, but living in the Midwest,
00:31:33
Speaker
Through the winter, definitely people eat and drink more there than anywhere I've ever been and and absolutely crush. Like in St. Louis where you're like, man, I can. We talked about on a few episodes, people bragging about how much they can drink. It's like, go to the Midwest.
00:31:48
Speaker
You're a lightweight. Trust me. right like Right. Those people can crush. So weather definitely will encourage drinking. But then I'm sure in Arizona, you always get that party vibe where it feels like it's a summer day every day where people are like, let's go outside barbecue and have a few beers.
00:32:03
Speaker
That's true. you definitely have that. You definitely have that. I think people are trying to stay pool ready more in warmer climates. Right. So like Seattle, maybe the Midwest, because I spent some time in Chicago growing up. Like, you know, it's real easy to put on a a sweatsuit and just roll out, you know, and just eat and drink whatever you want.
00:32:22
Speaker
You know, you know, you know, you know, so. That's right. You don't even need to get dressed up. Nobody cares. It's just like. Nobody cares. Yeah, that's true. while Wallow in the grayness of the sky for six months. Just like yeah be a part of it. That's right. So, but you're happy up there. Sounds like Seattle. Yeah. Like it's unbelievable the way we set it up. Yes. Unbelievable.
00:32:44
Speaker
No, no, no. We're definitely doing great out here for sure. yeah Well, so ah just just talking about booze and I'll open with my first story with booze is I snuck alcohol on the eighth grade bus and shared it with people riding into Horizon Middle School.
00:33:03
Speaker
Woo. Are you with that kid, dude, in eighth grade? oh Yeah, dude. Wow. It was a one-time thing, but it just felt so exhilarating. Schnapps? Huh?
00:33:13
Speaker
Schnapps? I think it was Bacardi. Bacardi, yeah. it It was exhilarating. i was getting a lot of props for it. But the alcohol thing generally, like there's – I don't wanna say there's any there's like a mystique to it, but there's definitely a competition aspect to it that, you know, it started early in middle school where it's like, yeah, look, it I'm cool because I tried this and I was one of those guys. And then you get it into college especially, it's like, oh, look, at this guy's a pussy, he can only drink six.
00:33:42
Speaker
And you you get into that competition piece of it or who who can hold liqu who who can hold more liquor that ultimately as we get to our age, we just realize how fucking stupid all that was. but Any stories in ah high school, college of just tomfoolery or a complete absurdity with alcohol?
00:34:03
Speaker
Oh, wow. Yeah. it's um I think like taking it back and we were chatting earlier. So, Matt, you had mentioned, you know, I was kind of a late bloomer.
00:34:15
Speaker
I definitely was. I didn't get involved with drinking anything because I had um ah just wasn't interested in it. and It was kind of like smoking and drinking together.
00:34:26
Speaker
My parents smoked and they drank and they had friends. who drank, and it was kind of around it a lot. So like early on, I wasn't turned on by it at all. like I saw kind of like what was what was happening, what was down, and I was like, you know not really for me. So it wasn't until later in high school, but I do remember that first time I went i went to a party.
00:34:47
Speaker
i forget and all Matt, you may have even been there. Who knows? I don't know. But it was around it was around junior year or something like that, and there was a keg. And i would I would always say, yeah, I'll drive everybody. I'll drive everybody. I'll drive everybody. Because I just didn't really want to partake. But I started to have like one beer.
00:35:06
Speaker
And then at some point, I just sat by the keg. And I was just kind of like talking to everyone. and And I probably drank like two and a half Red Dogs or something. that's Something stupid, right? Oh, yeah. Red Dog. a Red Dog.
00:35:19
Speaker
ah You know, highly potent beer, right? Back in the day. And I got buzzed for the first time. And I felt like. I just remember going, whoa, and just feeling in a certain way. and Then at that point, I was like, ah, this is what everybody's talking about. so I remember running up and down the street and getting all hype because, oh, this is what I've been missing. and I was inserted into a party culture anyway because my parents my friends' parents, and it just kind of expanded from there. but i That's what comes to mind. but as ah as an opener, but i I remember, I'll never forget running up and down that street going, ah, man, this is great. You know, it' just stupid. Like, I think back at that, I'm like, what an idiot. What idiot.
00:36:00
Speaker
It's so funny, I did all of that. Actually, do you remember the time in college where some, ah we were at this house, party house, and dudes wanted to beat you up? And thought you don't remember? A bunch of African-American dudes ah and Greeley.
00:36:17
Speaker
Oh, and when I went to go visit you, maybe one? Yeah, yeah. And they came out wanting to fight, and I kind of got in front of it and then was about to fight But anyway, I was wasted. The point is, I just sprint really fast and and ran away from them.
00:36:31
Speaker
That's right. So this is the kind of stuff that just comes back, right? I mean, maybe stuff that we don't want to remember, but then you jog your memory. But yeah, do remember that now. That's all fun though, back then. It was all fun.
00:36:43
Speaker
It is. Drinking was fun back then, yeah. I remember Lance going, hey, you know, he got involved because like things were going south. I remember that. And then I remember you going, I'm the fastest white boy in town or something like that. just ran down the street as like a diversion tactic something. Well, they chased me. They fucking and chased me for at least two blocks. But in any case, yes, running through the street loaded is is part of the game. But I remember in high school, too, just there's you remember your first interactions with yourself buzzing.
00:37:13
Speaker
And for whatever reason, I would just get I'd i'd get into the bathroom. And I'd look into the mirror and I'd just be like, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just point at myself and be like, yeah, motherfucker. Yeah.
00:37:25
Speaker
That was my, okay, you're buzzed. This is fun. the Signal. Did you have a signal, Matt? Where you're like, all here we go. No, but I remember, I don't know, like it obviously had probably some sort of way to get attention and think you're cool.
00:37:43
Speaker
And I just remember for some reason I was I was between several different groups of people, even like we're talking about baseball, football, snowboarders. And I was it seemed like I was always like planning the the parties. Like I always had the the information on where the party was. And and then I don't know why. But without that was probably something where I felt cool or valued.
00:38:03
Speaker
you know, being like in that scene. I mean, I was probably a pretty late bloomer too. i don't remember anybody getting trashed like we were freshmen or sophomores. It was little later on. but i But I have some memory. I remember one memory I had is I think, no, we got some Jack Daniels or something. And I drank a shitload of it. And we ended up at a Denny's.
00:38:24
Speaker
And I was like entertaining the whole restaurant like for like an hour. Like I was standing up like table to table like a politician or something. i just And then I remember the next day we were going snowboarding, we to wake up at like 6.30 and I was like, I don't have a hangover.
00:38:38
Speaker
Like I I was like a drinking superhero. You remember like when you were young, you never got any hangovers. And I was just like, what's not to like about this? I just met like 30 people.
00:38:49
Speaker
We're all like, this guy's great. He's so funny. And I woke up, went snowboarding, nothing happened. And I was like, this is the life for me, man. This is good. and Another memory i had, senior day, what where we were out at like that lake, Aurora Reservoir, remember that? Oh, yeah. And I went and got some 40s, again.
00:39:09
Speaker
Party planner. And at like 10 in the morning, I got these King Cobra forty s Nasty shit ever. I was like, Billy Dee Williams. No, he was Colt 45. And I pounded him in his car, in his escort, and just immediately vomited because nobody should drink a 40 like in under three minutes.
00:39:27
Speaker
yeah was It was early too, right? But I remember, go I can't go to this thing like without drinking. like what What kind of loser does that? It's so dumb. But I was just like, yeah, of course, dude. I'm a senior.
00:39:41
Speaker
Got to party. so Jake, do you? that did That's funny. I actually remember drinking a 40 that had been sitting in the back car. of your car, I think, for a long time. yeah and And it made me puke. But, Jake, was there a lot of fun like outside of partying for you in ah you know high school and college era? Because I just remember all the fun seemed to be centered around... it was all it was all centered around when you started drinking and then what you were drinking during.
00:40:11
Speaker
the event was The event was secondary, and it really kind of set the tone for you know going forward, right? So like you plan a vacation, you're like, oh man, is it all inclusive?
00:40:26
Speaker
You know, stuff like that. Like you start managing your life, but it's definitely, that was, but that is so accepted in college. And then, and once I got rolling in high school, cause I met some Smokey Hill friends and they were always drinking.
00:40:42
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. So like i It became that that, it was all centered around that. It was like, all right, we're going to the state championship game for Eagle Crest High School.
00:40:54
Speaker
Watch these two fools play. Like, well, who's going to score before the game? well what are we going to have? We're going to meet out the parking lot. We're going to go to somebody's house. You know? And then, all right, you can't do too much because you don't want to get, you know, this all this. It's planning and pre-planning.
00:41:08
Speaker
It's start of a very long relationship, right? And you're just like, how do you manage this relationship? every All day, all the time. It's crazy. Go ahead. Go ahead, ahead Matt.
00:41:20
Speaker
No, I was just going to say, well, I know you so you said you're a late bloomer, but you I definitely partied with you and your friends in Fort Collins and Greeley. You picked it up pretty quickly. You got good at it.
00:41:32
Speaker
Yeah, I was in the jeans. You're a happy drunk, though. i never I never saw you with some dark side. You you you were fine. Which is, I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I never really got so trashed that did anything stupid. And all that really does prolong your drinking career. Because some people need to have that moment where they almost kill themselves or fuck up a relationship. And then they go, I need to slow down. But never really did anything stupid.
00:41:56
Speaker
And so I just kept drinking. And then I actually think that's been my reputation my whole life. Because even people down here probably like, this gringo is a dude that's drinking out ah at a seven-year-old's birthday party.
00:42:09
Speaker
In my head, I'm like, why wouldn't you? It's a party. What, are you gonna sit there and watch these little fuckers like run around do nothing? Might as well have a couple of beers. Yeah, it's followed me my whole life, and I don't have a problem with it, but but like you're right. You you don't you don't realize it until you get out of it how much you're playing, everything you plan is almost around drinking once you get into it, like if you're into it. yeah Whether you're an alcoholic or just a guy likes to drink, it's in the back of your mind for everything you do.
00:42:39
Speaker
at some point. And that's like, that's what that's what's nice to get away from, you know? To not have to worry about it. Like, I never did anything stupid, but just not have to worry about how I'm gonna get get alcohol as nice, which is where I'm at right now.
00:42:54
Speaker
But yeah. You feel that unburdening? Sorry, go ahead, Lance. All right, no, a good good question. Well, I don't, have we a address and we, so I'll just say this, and Jake or Lance, you guys can follow up where you're at with alcohol. I quit drinking January second 23? Yeah, what year is it? 23. Yeah, so i'm I'm coming up on a year.
00:43:16
Speaker
no I don't like to say year of sobriety. That sounds like I T-boned a school bus or something. i just said i haven't had a drink for like for like a year. It wasn't court-ordered or anything like that.
00:43:26
Speaker
So I haven't had ah a drink in a year. do you feel? ah this you know you think You hear stories of people like, the day I quit drinking was the day my life started.
00:43:39
Speaker
and None of that shit actually happened for me. like i if my life I feel the same. i just I've had less hangovers in 23 than I've had. And I have a little more money than I probably have.
00:43:51
Speaker
and And I'm probably the most boring person ever now. And you know i i have a friend who also slowed down drinking. He's like, the issue...
00:44:02
Speaker
You don't quit like having fun or being in a party mood. It's like yeah people are like, I quit drinking. So some people just get so lame and they just stop doing anything. Like, I'm not going to go the barbecue because I don't drink.
00:44:16
Speaker
It's like, no, you got to keep your festive attitude, right? Maintain your social attitude without the booze. So I'm trying to do that. But you're still in moments where like everyone around me is trash and and these people are, it sound like morons, you know?
00:44:29
Speaker
But if you can keep the spirit alive, but not the not the need to get trash, that's that's the ultimate mix, you know? Yeah, no, it probably says something about your, you know, just the way that you presented yourself when you are drinking with being happy and good mood, not this dark, depressing, drunk guy, right? So you probably just carry that, have that same attitude, just not enhanced with alcohol.
00:44:56
Speaker
So, yeah, I mean, I think, you know, so just... and we were talking earlier, I'll be, I've i've not drank since February, so so it'll be three years this February.
00:45:08
Speaker
um So it it is's it's been a journey in itself to get to three years for me. Once I started drinking, it definitely picked up pace. We've mentioned that and then it kind of lived in that world that we mentioned about planning around it and making everything.
00:45:28
Speaker
you know your vacation or this concert or whatever, whatever. It just goes on and on and on, doesn't stop kind of a thing. and and I was one of those where, yeah, I was in a good mood, but it just became more frequent. It definitely put me in some positions that was affecting my life for sure.
00:45:47
Speaker
and i had to make some decisions and it was like you always liken it to when i think about it i think about it as a a relationship that you know starts off pretty great you know it was a lot of fun you know some crazy times and all this kind of stuff and then you know you you go through this middle patch of it and it's all right but it's still cool it's what you do and then things get that and it just kind of wears out it's welcome you know you you get to the point where you're like Well, I've done this before and it ain't that great and ain't that fun. I know the end result of this.
00:46:20
Speaker
And physically, you just can't keep up with it, or at least my body couldn't physically. It's just the hangovers and everything associated with It's just not worth it in for anymore for me. So, yeah, so it's been about three years. And, yeah, it's definitely unburdening for sure because I don't think that way anymore. It's amazing what mentally will happen with your brain.
00:46:39
Speaker
when you're locked into, i got to plan my life around this one thing, then all of a sudden you're not doing it anymore. And if you can cross that bridge to where you're mentally not thinking about that, it opens up so much for you to do to have fun, different ah ideas, you know, like, well, where are we going to drink this weekend? All of a sudden you have great ideas about having fun, doing other stuff that doesn't involve it. it it's It's not necessarily accessible when you're in the middle of It's pretty wild.
00:47:08
Speaker
So it's been a journey for sure, but it's been good for me. It sounds like it was like a social environment where you would ah do the most damage here. like you had Like the weekend was like probably your time.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Was it work stuff too or work parties? Well, I mean, it started, it it was all, it all started right there, social time. Then when things went wrong, it just was in times when everybody else wasn't doing it, right? It became part of the norm and it became managing Manage the managing it. It's like all right. Well, i'm I'm feeling this way then you're like well, you know what makes your hangover feel a little bit better? Mmm Some vodka.
00:47:49
Speaker
Yeah, you know and that becomes else and then it becomes something else and you know just it was a relationship that needed and so it's been good for me not for everybody for sure, but it's definitely good for me You think you're done dude?
00:48:03
Speaker
hi What's that? You think you're done like Yeah, but you see yourself like, I might be able to have a beer every once in a while. just got to go all in. At this point, yeah, that's a great question. At this point, I just don't see the um the benefit in it to do it.
00:48:19
Speaker
Right. Like, I mean, I can't say that I'm that, um I can't see the future. And I don't know where my I'm going to be mentally, physically, you know, 10 years down the road or whatever it is. Right.
00:48:32
Speaker
But I mean, I'm not going to say that I make a decision here and there, but I think at this point, I just don't see the benefit in it. It's been so much good that's come back to me since I've moved this one thing out of my life that I want to keep that momentum rolling.
00:48:46
Speaker
So it's been really good. How did you do it? I stopped. There was some traumatic stuff that happened. What's that? Cold turkey? Yeah, yeah. No 12 steps. no ah Well, you know, I mean, I tried all that kind of stuff. Oh, really?
00:49:01
Speaker
Yeah. that I went to i went to some some meetings. You know, that's part of that. I kind of threw myself into it and I said, hey, you know, what's this all about? You know, and I it got involved in it a little bit, you know, and I took from it what I needed and what what worked for me kind of a thing. And you know And I'm not super preachy about it. If people ask me, I tell them, but obviously that's the that's what we're doing here. but you know i I tried all that kind of stuff, spent some time getting getting getting my body back to where it needs to be so it can be strong again and not dependent and all that stuff.
00:49:40
Speaker
ah But now that I'm on the other side of it, you know back to your question, would I do it again? Right now, it's <unk>s really not even close to the top top of the list for me. And that's really refreshing because it used to be way top of the list.
00:49:53
Speaker
you know So for me, that's... It's really exciting for me personally. So it's been nothing but great. Congrats, buddy. Yeah. Appreciate it. Sorry, I wasn't there for you during the journey.
00:50:06
Speaker
you're You're here for me right now. It's fits it's all part of the journey, man. Cut Lance off. All right. Go get them, buddy. It'll happen 10 more times. Don't worry. ah what What were some signs where you're starting to get concerned?
00:50:20
Speaker
Like what were some things you were just like, okay, enough of this shit. This is even, even maybe you weren't ready to, to give it up, but I'm just curious what that journey was before recovery.
00:50:32
Speaker
Yeah. So there was, there was a stuff that, Mentally, I would be like, yeah, well, you know, I'll, I'll, ah I need to address this, but I'll do it next week or I'll do it next month. You know, I, I just kind of knew my heart and soul understood that this needed to end kind of thing, or just the relationship needed to stop, you know, and it, and eventually there was, there was some traumatic events that were outward,
00:51:00
Speaker
you know That we're like, all right, you know now everybody's clued in and all this thing. Because if you are somebody that can maybe hold your liquor or whatever and be somewhat happy, then nobody's ever it's really socially accepted.
00:51:16
Speaker
Absolutely. And you like, you know, you're part of the you're part of the solution. You're part of the, hey, we're all here watching the game drinking. You know, we're all here doing this and this. I knew when I was outside of those boundaries and it became something that my body, but I was trying to physically keep my body in check and I was trying to manage other things with it that things were going way south. So, but yeah. Yeah.
00:51:41
Speaker
But there were definitely definite warning signs. But i blew fast ble I blew past a couple of them for sure. you know Like, oh, yeah, that was a blip. No, it's all good. It's all good. you know so what What was the underlying emotion? Was it fear?
00:51:57
Speaker
Was it ah self-loathing that you were kind of like, I got to clean this up? I'm a piece of shit or I'm afraid I'm going to do something crazy? of that i The fear that I didn't didn't didn't take action.
00:52:11
Speaker
Is that what you mean? Yeah. Like the... Did assist your decision? Yeah. ah The motivator... mode Yeah, the motivator for me, that knowing at that point, um is that I came to the real realization that this was a thing that was managing me.
00:52:35
Speaker
I was no one no longer in control. Like I lost control at one point where this thing was... You know, this this thing was like, all right, this thing's telling me I can't go to this vacation because it doesn't have this, this, and this. You know, like, it that, it was it was a ah trap feeling is probably the best way to put It was a feeling like kind of locked in and you're like, oh, man, well, how am I going to go on this? I remember vividly, like, how am I going to go on this trip when it requires a long flight, like 10, 12 hours?
00:53:09
Speaker
How am I going to manage this? You know, doing that while having to be normal around people and not in a party mood, but knowing that I might need a couple drinks on the way.
00:53:20
Speaker
How am I going to manage that? So you start doing all this wild stuff, like to to manage it in secret and the to clue everybody in. Everybody knows anyway. You think you're doing everything in the dark.
00:53:31
Speaker
It all comes to light at some point, but everybody kind of knew anyway. But yeah, that that that trap feeling was probably the worst because... You know, have free will.
00:53:41
Speaker
I mean, and the if this thing's going to take away my free will, that's that's some bullshit, you know? So yeah that was probably the motivator. Related, because I was curious about this as you were talking, your family, um that you they knew.
00:53:58
Speaker
like I don't know, your brothers, your parents? I mean, did they know or or was it your wife? Yeah, I think so. I think it wasn't. It wasn't to the point where everyone was like, oh, we had no idea. you know it it yeah it just seems like i when I was in the throes of it or whatever, however you want to characterize it, I always felt like I was getting away with some shit. you know Like, ah, sneaky.
00:54:26
Speaker
I got this done. I'm still being a good dad. I'm still showing up at work. you know But really and truly, was thin ice and people were probably aware, you know whether or not they verbalized it.
00:54:41
Speaker
it just, yeah, so I don't know. Nobody came to me and said, hey, you need to get your shit in line. Nobody did that, but everyone started to notice the rough edges for sure.
00:54:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. you may i don't know if you want to talk about this, but you mentioned like, so your your parents were were fun people, liked to party, your your brothers, i don't know about your wife, But was there any pushback where people like, Jake, what are you talking about? You don't have a problem. you know Yeah, for sure. like You're just one of us.
00:55:08
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I get that too. ah But how many people you think are out there like you? Like like you what you define there, what some people might call like a functional alcoholic. You're still a good dad, still a good employee, at least on the surface.
00:55:21
Speaker
I think there's almost everybody is is that. Like so many people are are riding that, I feel like. Maybe. i mean I mean, i looking at it from the outside, from a different perspective now, I see people in my life, you know, whether it be friends of friends or whatever, I can kind of view a situation and be like, ah, I recognize that.
00:55:43
Speaker
And, you know, it's not my place. But, you know, it is what it is. You carry around a stack of brochures with you now? Everywhere you go, you're like, I ain't go have that beer, are you, Tom?
00:55:55
Speaker
don't you read this? Not at all. I mean, everybody, like, don't know. Free will, right? Free will. I just, like, it's just like anything. I feel like whether it be booze or whatever, people have to learn their own path. You know, they it's not going to click if I tell them anything kind of thing. If they ask me, I tell them.
00:56:17
Speaker
But that's about it, really. Do you guys have a... Do you have either you have an idea what you think, A, what you think an alcoholic is and B, like what's too much? Like I used to always be like, I mean, I have a couple of beers every night. A couple might be six, but I might have it every night. And i and it didn't necessarily affect much.
00:56:37
Speaker
But but if you if you read stuff or you look at the math, you're like, that's a lot of that's a lot of beers over the course of time, if you're drinking a few every night or, or, are women or women or men that have a bottle of wine every night, if you add it up, it's actually a lot. Like what's, I know it's all personal. What's, what's your idea of an alcoholic or too much, but like, what was it for you, Jake? Like, or or Lance, I know Lance, you don't really drink much either anymore. i don't know if if that was a decision or just dwindling down, but like, what's too much, you know, like, how do you define that?
00:57:10
Speaker
ah For me, really personally. So I define it personally. Like I said before, I think it's everybody's journey, right? So somebody might be Andre the Giant and they can, you know, get three 30 packs and, you know, and then have a have a couple of meals and they're good just because of physiology or whatever, right?
00:57:30
Speaker
I think really when anything becomes a problem in how you manage your life, you know If you are fucking up at work because of it or whatever, you know you're getting into car wrecks on the road, you're not being a dad or me and our a husband, all that stuff. you know Because some people are just a little bit more addictive.
00:57:53
Speaker
you know You got kicked out of Motley Crue. That's a sign, dude. There's so many. I love, there there are so many. I don't want to shit on it so much because there are some really defining moments that were a lot of fun in my life when when I was boozing. And I had a lot of good conversations with people and all this stuff. you know It's just for me, the time the time was over.
00:58:19
Speaker
And it just was ah ah obvious. And I think you just personally listen to yourself. You're like, yeah. you know like Matt, you made a decision and it sounds like Lance, I don't know where you' so you what your deal is, but like you know i don't I don't even remember you Lance being much of a drinker at all. like We'd just be kind of play, be foolish with it. I remember that was the most fun, just be doing dumb stuff. You guys were talking about 40s. It just reminded me, the only reason reason you were bringing a 40 to the senior day, Matt, was probably because he saw Boys in the Hood or something like that. like I love that movie, man. I love it.
00:58:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah, 40s. We'll get 40s. And it was so in that in back then, you know. so It's so fun. It's cheap. It's aggressive. It's strong. It's like there so many things to like about a 40, you know. Yeah.
00:59:06
Speaker
But my my wife still drinks and I don't, yeah, I mean like and the relationship is definitely the same but different, right? When you go to a party and you're with a bunch of people that are boozing and you're not drinking, it's easy to keep up the spirit like for me because I'm in it, I'm engaged, I'm having conversations. But at some point there's a repeating record that happens and I'm like, I'm out.
00:59:29
Speaker
i i I'm going to bed. yeah Yeah. I mean, we've done this the best. Like just leaving that thing and be like, yeah, no, going to put the jammies on. yeah later times I'm going to go watch the date line. Yeah. they mine yeah That's so great. My thing though, you know, you think you're going lose weight and shit. You look like you don't need to lose weight, but.
00:59:50
Speaker
i stopped Once I stopped drinking, all I wanted was like sweets. um I would never do this in a million years. Be like, I'm going to get some chocolate cake at 1130 at night or or like ice cream.
01:00:01
Speaker
So I don't know why. Maybe maybe it's because your body turns alcohol into sugar or something like that. I don't know if it's a fit phzzi physiological. Is that a word? Yeah. um i would be I would pound sweets.
01:00:13
Speaker
for a while now. yeah That's true. We were just actually talking about that, me and my wife and my buddy, ah Jason, which I've known forever. He was talking my wife and he was like, what what does Jake want for Christmas? What's what's his deal nowadays? I don't know. you know And they're always joking. why I can't get him a 40 anymore. you know like you set Shit like that. And and they're like, ah well, my wife's like, well, he likes you know he likes sweets. And I think there is something to that because there's Alcohol creates, you know, creates sugar. It's a lot of sugar in it.
01:00:46
Speaker
And then once you're not yeah with it anymore, you you look for it. So, yeah, I mean, holidays, man, baked goods, watch out. Forget about it. That's interesting.
01:00:57
Speaker
didn't even think about that. yeah uh yeah if also you're like at a party you like i don't want listen to these fuckers you're just sitting over there near sweets table just crushing yeah instead of listening to these fools oh you're gonna try those cookies are cool yeah Look at this one. That's a little Santa Claus there. Look at this one. For me, guys, alcohol was, and this will sound like I was really thoughtful about it when I was younger, but I wasn't. But it it was more of like a tool or permission to be my wacky, absurd self or to do some of the absurd public things that I always was craving to do.
01:01:36
Speaker
yeah ah truly And I probably remember too, Jake. I mean, one beer, maybe two beers, and then I would immediately jump into the most absurd things I could do.
01:01:47
Speaker
It wasn't even about the alcohol. It was just sort of like, ah, yes, this thing right here gives me gives me permission to fucking go bananas, go ape shit, and nobody will say anything. They'll accept it. They'll say, he's so wasted. So many times people thought I was so fucking wasted.
01:02:02
Speaker
And I... barely scratched the surface on a beer right and uh you didn't you didn't need booze to sing like ah or did you guys did you guys was drinking part i know drinking was part of the fun of the band but did you guys need to pre-game to get the courage we had a beer or two maybe but i don't know about you you did yeah i did because there was ah an anxiety thing that happened so that would be a calming factor which would be another reason You know, it becomes part of your management of your life, you know, like, oh, well, this drink will help me calm down.
01:02:37
Speaker
You know? Yeah. Yeah. What was your level? I had a level. If I had two or three drinks, I was fucking Richard Pryor. But if I had like six, I was terrible. If I had one, I was just kind of like, hi, kind of tight. Like, what did you have a limit? Like, all right, this is my sweet spot to do a show.
01:02:54
Speaker
It could be too much. That's for sure. is We were doing a lot of technical shit in that band. we yeah We had some conflict around that at some point because people would bring us shots and I would just fucking throw them on the ground. or i you know and you know You and I don't remember Dave. Maybe Dave too.
01:03:13
Speaker
Definitely John. John would definitely. You can't have your drummer buzzing, man. The timing goes away and the whole band. yeah You guys can tell? can tell when he had a buzzer. Oh, it would get slow.
01:03:24
Speaker
get Get out of the rhythm section. Yeah. It's just like drumming and and driving. Like you you're driving and you're buzz. You drive a little slower. You're like, oh. The feel is like. datetata da mother We you know, that's, that's, ah so, but what do you do about that? Like, did you guys have an intervention or what? Like, how how do you?
01:03:46
Speaker
Cause you're all doing it too, right? So it's hard to point fingers. yeah And none of us are really very apt at conflict resolution and having open conversations at that stage in our life. So I think we probably just bitched at each other here and there. As what I remember, I probably got angry. I was usually the one to kind of be a dick.
01:04:03
Speaker
ah I don't know that we ever resolved anything or came to like a guideline of how to use it appropriately. Yeah, no, I mean, we didn't go far enough. I'm sure it would have been something that we would have had to resolve. would have gotten further, yeah for sure.
01:04:21
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But and that's all I see. I see that in you, Lance. when I just remember you're high school, too. you would um had some crazy outfits, and cutting off the sleeves. I do remember the cheeseburger in the pocket thing. Yeah. dude that was that was epic but like you know it that almost makes sense it's kind of a license like Lance is so wasted look at him he's doing this crazy stuff I mean those Greeley parties at the what'd you call it the silo what was that thing something something crazy bungalow but bungalow yeah you know some some funny stuff for sure yeah it's I mean there were times don't get me wrong where I was wasted and puking it's just
01:05:03
Speaker
Over the long haul, was never that thing. But ah I like what you said about some of your best memories are, you know, alongside your friend alcohol. Because I i look at like some of my...
01:05:17
Speaker
ah most bombastic, most vivid, fantastical memories, if not most of them, to be quite honest, came alongside my buddy alcohol and my my license to fucking act crazy.
01:05:31
Speaker
So I can think of my friend and I dressed up as Chippendales in Halloween at college. And you can imagine how much attention and absurdity That was, I remember gathering dudes and s singing crazy songs about our penises, like in parties and just bringing people around and just doing crazy, crazy stuff that was all good natured.
01:05:54
Speaker
But like, I can't think of anything in the corporate world or any other, um you know, just normal life memory that rises to those alcohol memories.
01:06:06
Speaker
that's That's the funny thing. I don't know if it's funny. That's probably the cruel thing. That's a good point, right? I mean, some really fun stuff. Yeah, those experiences that will stick in your brain.
01:06:19
Speaker
um You were loose enough or the mood was what it was. You were in the environment with your buddies. You know, I mean, that absolutely applies. And when I was saying earlier, had that was a lot of the early stuff for me, for sure.
01:06:34
Speaker
And then when you're trying to have a party by yourself or you're trying to manage your life, it's just not that fun anymore. You know, you're not. Party one. not Party one. Yeah. What are you doing that? Like, what are you actually doing in that scenario?
01:06:48
Speaker
You're in front of a computer or you're like hanging out on the couch, like watching sports. Like, what do you mean? Oh, it could have been any of that stuff for sure. Yeah. could have been anything. but um But you weren't were you like to a point where you're like in a dark room, like i don't know hiding bottles around the house or in your office or anything like that? Or like you know where you're sneaking a couple of podcasts so i guess and nobody can smell it and before a meeting? what i would like what What I will say is that because of the prolo just it because the relationship went on too long, I will say that all that stuff was on the table. because
01:07:24
Speaker
if If it's managing you, which it was managing me at that point, um i was looking for um ways to always be ah present.
01:07:36
Speaker
And if you felt like you weren't because you weren't, I'm been being kind of vague here, when you're not partying or you are doing that when you're not in a party situation and it's a Tuesday or something, you have to mentally think about, okay, well, how am I gonna do this?
01:07:55
Speaker
So like hiding and trust stuff comes into play, all that stuff comes into play. um And that's when you know you're you're in a different place with it, right? It's not standing in a circle with your buddies dressed as Chippendales anymore, right? It's it's a different different different thing completely. so but If it is, then it's really fucked up.
01:08:16
Speaker
It's Tuesday, got a meeting, and I'm standing with four dudes in a Chippendale outfit. yeah i got I got to edit that out. It takes some real hubris to fucking dress up like a Chippendale. Fucking pussy.
01:08:28
Speaker
I did. take i wish ah I wish I wish I wish you lived closer to me. Yeah, man. You're you're an. Yeah. Come on down. Well, I'll tell you this, though. i don't know what you guys say. Well, this is what what I miss besides all that camaraderie shit and fun is like i I love having a drink after I did something, whether like a long run or surfing or sitting on the beach like that was that was, you know, that but those are good beers.
01:08:58
Speaker
where you you actually accomplish something. But, but it gets it also gets the point, like you said, Jake, where you're like, if I just get, if I just surf for a couple hours, I can have a, have a couple of drinks, you know? So I got to do this to earn those drinks, which might be a little better way to do it. But like, you know, it's, but those are some good ass beers, man. after you After you play some basketball or run or exercise like that, I do miss that.
01:09:22
Speaker
And i but I might go, I might go back to that. You know, I don't, I'm not going to be hiding vodka bottles under my desk, but but a beer on the beach, it's like, why can't I have a beer on the beach? You know, not a lunatic for Christ's sake. But those are those are I miss that, man. I do miss that. But then again, I'm surfing.
01:09:41
Speaker
I'm in the sunset. There's these beautiful tropical birds flying around and and surfers that take care of their bodies out in the water. It's like, why do I need beers, man? Everything's good around here at the same time, you know? Right.
01:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, but I think to your point, man, it's it's part of the heathen experience. you know like i think Like I said before, it's whatever you do. I mean, if you manage that, that as long as you're managing that, then why wouldn't you?
Navigating Life Without Alcohol
01:10:10
Speaker
you know If that's part of the the deal.
01:10:13
Speaker
Makes sense to me. yeah A lot of people do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we talk a little bit about other people's reactions? Because i the reaction I've gotten from about not drinking has been the exact opposite of what you would want people to say to you. like like It's like a curse. It's like, what's wrong, man? What did you do?
01:10:30
Speaker
So you can't control yourself? Is that the issue? It's like, I just stopped drinking, man. Relax. Nothing bad happened. but It's just so weird, dude. I don't know if you got this, Jake. Are you sick? there something wrong?
01:10:41
Speaker
It's like, you have AIDS? No, I just stopped drinking. Like you you get the pushback of like, why are you doing this, man? Like the exact opposite of what you expect. Right. Did you get that? I mean, people that know that the true and final story don't, you know, but like people that are outside of that are super ah respectful. They they'll they'll say they may ask because they're curious or whatever, but they'll they'll They're like, um what happened? I think more or less it's kind of like you're not part of the club anymore.
01:11:15
Speaker
It's straight. You know, you you're you're all of a sudden at the party, but you're not... at the party anymore. it's It's a different thing, right? So if you're at a party and there's about 10 people there and eight of them are boozing, they're all having inside jokes and you know the whole deal. like And then if you're there it's all good and you're happy and you're having a conversation, but you're just not part of, you're not in the in crowd anymore. It's like you're on the outs.
01:11:43
Speaker
So that's the main thing. Who let our Uber driver in? Who let our Uber driver in to hang out here? so yeah you're not you're not in there man that you're right but but they react it's just but i used to treat people like that too i'd just be like oh my god dude this lame ass because i what i really bothered me was when people equated like quitting partying to being a better adult it's like i can't do that anymore i got i'm more of a professional a better parent than you that's how i felt people were acting like that and you're like dude you're pretending, like just live life, have a drink. I would just be like, anybody who wouldn't drink,
01:12:19
Speaker
in the, in not only wouldn't drink, but then those people tend to be way more boring and way more like introverted and just like annoying in general, like birthday parties and shit. And you're like, you, you guys suck. And now now I'm like, I need to fight to not be one of those people. Even though I'm not drinking, I can't be like a downer in a social event just because I'm not drinking. If that's the case, and then I really, really have a problem with drinking. You know, I can't be fun in a social setting without, without booze. Then it's like,
01:12:48
Speaker
Who am I? Then I need to get into something else. Start shooting the H or are blow or something. That's how you fix the problem. you know Hey, there's plenty of stuff out there. Ramp it up. Did you guys ever get into anything else? You're both in legal states. you ever try anything else because ah just to like calm yourself down or or get away from booze?
01:13:10
Speaker
Not me. No. I mean, I like weed. Yeah. Interesting. i'm I'm curious about the, rick I don't know if this is the right term, recovery process or healing process. And I'm still confused, Matt, why you even even quit drinking.
01:13:30
Speaker
Like what really brought you there? But ah the first couple months, like. It's physical. Is it physical? Like what?
01:13:41
Speaker
it's it's It's mainly, well, for me personally, mentally, I was like, trying to wrap my head around how do you how do you how do you move forward? it's all I think in those circles, in the rooms they call them, when you talk about AA and all that stuff, they'll say, you know, just this minute, this day, you just got to do one day and then you do the next day. it's just like any goal that's very far off, right? And it becomes a mental challenge for you to really Try to motivate yourself to kind of move forward.
01:14:15
Speaker
But once you feel a little bit better about that, your body just has to, depending on where you were with it, your body just has to sort of recover, man. I mean, recovery is a good word. It really is because it's all the functions.
01:14:28
Speaker
It's everything. um and when you take just you being an athlete in a formal life knowing when you add something or take something away from your body it takes a while you know for your body to acclimate and to all right this is the new normal because for a while it's like no this ain't normal i'm gonna react in this way so but yeah and then it just becomes and then it just feeds on itself as it goes forward i think yeah what was there a point where there were and you know familial or external stresses that were just beyond your capacity to deal with during that process. I'm just curious, like, how are you managing that part of your life, the recovery part, plus like the normal family stress that just hits?
01:15:12
Speaker
Yeah, so some of the stressors in life would be managed by you know the alcohol at some point, right? So like to Matt's point, maybe it wasn't something I accomplished. like i had a good I wrote a killer wave, brah, and then had a beer. It was like, oh, man, this is going wrong, or this is going to be very difficult. I need to relax. Here's what I'm going to do kind of thing. Right, so after, though,
01:15:40
Speaker
you know, during recovery, my question is when those things inevitably arose, how, what was the impact? So really at that point, I'd done enough understanding of where I was mentally at that point to, to really focus on what's the most important thing.
01:15:59
Speaker
You know, it's, you figure out for me, it's like, my health, you know, to for me to be present and clear-minded and with my family, it was the most important thing.
01:16:12
Speaker
And then once you, you what in my journey, I found out how many how many people really, really care and love and respect me. And like, you kind of lose sight of that a little bit when you're wrapped up into some other thing, right? So I felt I had support and I was like, all right, we'll figure this out, you know? So it was more of a
01:16:35
Speaker
a reaction I wish I would have had you know maybe a long ah long way back, right? Before I got into that whole thing, right? And started to... Because I would tend to keep things internal. I like to solve things on my own. I'll go find the solution.
01:16:49
Speaker
And then... i didn't always I don't always want to ask for help because you know i like to handle my own business. and handle my own shit. But some things you can't. You need support. You need people to know what's up so they can, hey, don't you try this?
01:17:04
Speaker
Give you some insight. Or, hey, I got this. This will work for you. um And it kind of opened up my eyes eyes in that direction. Like people that... Maybe you didn't rely upon in that way.
01:17:17
Speaker
Now you felt like, oh wow, it's a kind of a different relationship. or or Yeah. i Yeah. Interesting. For sure. Yeah. So, and it just dumbed everything down.
01:17:27
Speaker
Like what was the most important thing for me? Health, my wife. my son, and all this stuff. And then what am I trying to do for myself? What am I really creating So, yeah. memory Memories.
01:17:41
Speaker
What's that? Memories. Memories. Sorry, he's trying to remember them. Right. Yeah, memories. Oh, man. Why'd why'd you quit, Matt? really like Like, really?
01:17:54
Speaker
i mean, you're kind of chill about it. what Well, I mean, i quit in the middle of The really, really tense time with with my wife where we were just not getting along. we' We're going to some therapy. it wasn't doing much.
01:18:08
Speaker
She was drinking a lot. I was drinking a lot. Actually, i at that time, I wasn't drinking a lot. I think i I mean, a little bit of everything. Like I thought that might help our relationship. If you've ever been in a bad relationship,
01:18:20
Speaker
and I don't like to say a bad relationship. we we were married We've been married for almost 20 years. But when you have some stress in any relationship, you just find that anything that's going bad in your life, drinking, is it might give you an escape for a few hours, but it doesn't help just because it's poison, right? So you feel like shit, and and it only makes it worse. So I think subconsciously, I thought maybe if I stopped drinking, it might help us.
01:18:46
Speaker
But... ah I just got like bored with it. and i just I've seen some so people that have been affected by it a negative way, and I'm like, I don't want to do that.
01:18:57
Speaker
I don't want to be that way. and i don't think anybody i don't know if anyone close to me or far away from me would ever be like, that dude had a drinking problem. I don't think anybody really would think that, but it's not to say that I didn't. What are you guys bored with? like What was the boredom?
01:19:11
Speaker
You know where it... You know mentally how you're going to feel after you partake in this? Or what's where's the boredom come in? I don't get it. Well, just for me, it's like, i I don't know. Like, it wasn't bringing anything to me.
01:19:25
Speaker
I mean, the taste of a beer after, like, surfing is great. But it just wasn't really doing anything for me. Like, sitting around watching TV and having a few beers, I was like, I don't even know why I'm having these beers.
01:19:37
Speaker
You know? It's like it wasn't doing anything for me. And I, and I got, I also started to realize, and Jake, this might, you might've got here too. Like that, whatever problem was, is going to be there when you're done drinking.
01:19:51
Speaker
I got to the point where I was like, all right, I'm going to fight with my wife. And I never really talked about this much, definitely not with her, but like, I'm going to drink, she's going to drink and then we're going to wake up and still be, still have whatever issue we're we're fighting about. And it's not going to help me one goddamn bit.
01:20:08
Speaker
And so. I realized that alcohol did was doing nothing for me. like And then I also realized that really need it like socially. you know People still like me, find me funny.
01:20:22
Speaker
Obviously, my looks get me through a lot of a lot of tough tough parts of my life. Uh-oh, deflection. Fuck, man. I deflected. Go deeper, Matt. Go deeper. went back to a joke.
01:20:34
Speaker
Go deeper. ah Painful. I can't go anymore, Lance. ah
01:20:43
Speaker
It's like to be determined why I quit drinking, but I felt it was the right thing, and I felt that i was it was not helping anything. I have not had that moment, though, where like like I mentioned earlier, people are like, I quit drinking and the skies cleared I feel better in general, but my so much of my life is unresolved now that just quit drinking didn't resolve every issue I have. ah I'm going to be, I don't have a job.
01:21:09
Speaker
I'm not comfortable with my podcast partner. Fuck, I did it again, dude. I went to a joke. I don't have a job. my you know I'm separated. I'm living by myself.
01:21:21
Speaker
And quitting alcohol didn't solve all those problems. you know, quitting. It's just, they're still there. I just probably can think a little clearer now in the moment. And also I need to be worried about money and alcohol is just such a waste of money. Like it's such a financial drain. If you add up, like just do the math on any level of drinking. So even if you have a bottle of wine a week, it's yeah crazy. So it is yeah, that's a long answer to get to nowhere.
01:21:49
Speaker
I don't really know why. That's my whole life right now. Just a winding road of nothingness. You make up for all that saved money on cookies that you buy now. Exactly. I'm pounding a gallon of ice cream every night. and Nothing, no cheap, no store brand, dude. I pound two gallons of Haagen-Dazs every night.
01:22:11
Speaker
It's worse than drinking. But but I didn't have that i didn't have any any real bad moments like ever drinking. I mean, I had terrible hangovers, but I never did anything really stupid.
01:22:22
Speaker
Well, fuck, it's who's to say, right? Like you always justify your decisions, you're drinking, but no, not like a accident or, or did something weird with my kids or anything like that.
01:22:32
Speaker
I just, I felt it was time and I, and I told myself I was gonna quit for two weeks and then I was like, yeah, might as well keep it going. And then I got to a point where I was like, well, i gotta go for a year. And now I'm at a year and I'm like, why would I start drinking again?
01:22:46
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. So i said ah you said, it's kind of boring because, I mean, if I did the math and I started drinking back in high school, I'm like, man, I've been drinking for two thirds of my life. Like, what else?
01:23:03
Speaker
it's That's too much. You know, I mean, like you're to a point where you're like, yeah, you know the outcome. And I can handle social situations fine and all this kind of stuff. So for me, it was just it was just time.
Reevaluating Social Norms and Wrapping Up
01:23:18
Speaker
But yeah, it's kind of boring because it's like, oh yeah, let's let's go get we'll get some beers and we'll get ready for the game and we'll drink and we'll watch the game. Then we'll continue to have drinks and then I'll wake up at hangover.
01:23:28
Speaker
You know, i know the I know the score kind of thing. So anyway. All right. I hate hangovers. I mean, I think that's enough to to get me to stop drinking.
01:23:39
Speaker
Just sucks. even And now, even if I have like two or three beers, I'm not like hungover, but I don't i feel like shit. just Just like groggy and cloudy. and like Yeah.
01:23:50
Speaker
Especially at our age, man. I don't know. Is it age? Yeah. It's your body. Well, I think so. I mean, hangovers didn't exist when you were snowboarding that one day, and then all of a sudden, you know, you're...
01:24:04
Speaker
That's true. Yeah, you're right about that. You could you could crush when you're younger and not and not get a hangover. and yeah and and you had less stuff going on. the The one thing I'll say is I think, and again, I never really thought about this when I wasn't drinking, but I think a lot of my relationships are based on drinking. Even my wife. I mean, that was something we connected on. It's like having fun and being around other people and drinking.
01:24:29
Speaker
And it's like i that might have masked some of our problems for a while because... you don't really think about where you're at in a relationship it's like oh well we got another we got to go see our friends and there's a birthday party we're gonna go have some drinks with our friends and and you get in that routine and you kind of you start to overlook other things other ways to connect and then all of a sudden you realize maybe you don't have any ways to connect besides like let's go let's play in the next next the next drink you know and And then I start to think like, who else who else is my relationship just based on drinking?
01:25:04
Speaker
and Well, that's a good point because I mean, personally, i had to do what I have to do for me personally as an individual in my journey, right?
01:25:14
Speaker
But my wife's journey is different and I respect that and support whatever, right? so But that's our marriage, right? So she I'm not saying you have to do this because this is what I'm doing.
01:25:27
Speaker
But we have to kind of rediscover ourselves now at this point because so much of what when you're saying, Matt, friends and social events and even connection on a level where her and I would go out and have a couple of drinks and have dinner or something,
01:25:45
Speaker
you know It's different now when she orders whatever she orders and I order a Coke. you know It's not the same. But what I found, though, for me personally, is that rediscovering all these things is kind of... ah doing them all over again for the first time, it's kind of cool because now I get to sort of build a new path going forward.
01:26:08
Speaker
And it's really interesting to me because now i'm not addled with whatever is in my, you know, like the way I'm thinking because I'm on, you know, drinking. And I get to kind of reintroduce myself to all these things that I've done before in the past. And it's kind of new. It's kind of fun, but it's definitely something that my wife and I work on because it's new for us.
01:26:27
Speaker
Because it's not like she has her drinking buddy anymore, you know? So it's different, but it's definitely something that, you know, we talked about, you know, just like any marriage, you work through stuff.
01:26:38
Speaker
So, but it's cool. She's got to do her Jager bombs while you drink your Coke. And that's just the way it is, huh? Yeah, right. Exactly. It's exactly right. Somebody's got to drive, yeah.
01:26:50
Speaker
You should edit this so Jake sounds preachy and heavy-handed, Lance. It's not going to happen. He's already super measured. Jake, i don't want we're not going to keep you here all morning, but I just like call out that we're closing in on noon your time. and So we're probably in the rap phase. if Cool. you got You guys are cool with that.
01:27:11
Speaker
ah Yeah, I do remember...
01:27:16
Speaker
And this wasn't your fault. You were you were in a culture, a I think a family culture and a friend culture in particular of just intense one-upsmanship, intense competition around alcohol in particular. And and you can tie it to flip cup or tie it to oh yeah just, you're a fucking pussy, bud. Just how guys would communicate with each other.
01:27:43
Speaker
But like there wasn't, There wasn't going to be a lot of runway for you to escape that culture within your core family. I'm just going to say, and my and from my perception as an outsider.
01:27:57
Speaker
Yeah, no, there's a lot to that. and And to make it simple, quite honestly, it was fun. Yeah. yeah yeah I was all in.
01:28:08
Speaker
And there was a lot of good times. But for sure, the culture, and I think I mentioned it, It definitely led itself to just overblowing the relationship, you know, and maybe hanging on to it way too long.
01:28:23
Speaker
Right. But, you know, that's good that you notice that. It's definitely something that I realized and understood for sure in your your perspective, because you saw it all. You know, you saw a bunch of it for sure. I saw it And, you know, like, you know, Dave was no stranger to.
01:28:39
Speaker
you know, getting his drink on too. He also, Laura and I were fairly rigid people. Yeah. but She, she was ah like an anchor to pull him away and be like stop motherfucker.
01:28:51
Speaker
Stop. But like, it was such a fun, ah vibe, your family in particular. And then obviously the, the close friends from Chicago,
01:29:04
Speaker
is it's hard to resist because it is so fun. Yeah, for sure. And it's and it's like back to back, like, ah, let's have another night of that chaos. And it's like, yeah it's it's, yeah.
01:29:15
Speaker
It becomes the norm. um And I don't regret any of that stuff. And quite honestly, i mean, if I was to put a we're in the rap phase, i don't regret it at all. I mean, I am very grateful for, you know, where I am now. And I think truly this was one of my charges in life is to understand that and to grow in a way to where I could master something like this. Maybe that's kind of why I'm here a little bit.
01:29:41
Speaker
So for me to, you know, do what I needed to do or had to go through what i went through, And to be on the other end of it and thinking the way I am, pretty pretty exciting for sure.
01:29:54
Speaker
But I don't ah regret any of that stuff. Because hell, was a lot of fun. A lot of great relationships built. And um you know, shit, I guess that first keg whatever.
01:30:06
Speaker
We're running down the street to now. It was a fun ride. Wouldn't that be awesome if that was still like, if you had a beer right now and it made you go run up and down the street, you'd be like, yeah, I'm getting back in. This is great. Yeah, yeah.
01:30:19
Speaker
going for a jog. Yeah. It ain't going happen. So I would like to ask what you guys, especially you Lance, you have older kids. What what were your conversations like with your kids about alcohol? Or have you you ever talked to about Since you were the kid that brought a fucking bottle of booze on the bus in eighth grade, what what do you tell your kids to avoid that?
01:30:40
Speaker
My big thing is just what I was talking about is alcohol is not a thing to do the one up thing with. Oh, yeah. you If you want to do one up, like pull, pull down your pants, whip out your cock, do something silly like that. But don't do it for how many shots you can drink. ah You know what I'm saying? Like do some great point.
01:31:01
Speaker
I mean, it really is. I think it's a um ah male thing. So I talked to my son about it more of my my daughter, too. Like, it's just not a place to compete. What about you, Jake? you You know, have you had to talk to your son on this this journey about ah what's where you're going? what What would you say to your kid about alcohol?
01:31:20
Speaker
so Well, he's been in a he's been around it enough to understand what it is. I mean, not even it, even if it wasn't, you know, prevalent in the home at some point, he would see it on TikTok.
01:31:32
Speaker
It's everywhere, right? I mean, it's just part of the culture. yeah. don't know, it's an a developing conversation, I'm sure. I'll tell you one thing, it wouldn't be heavy handed.
01:31:43
Speaker
Yeah. And tell him all this stuff. and he you know I mean that would respect where he's coming from, answer his questions, and then you know do my best, do my best, man.
01:31:54
Speaker
I can share experiences with him if he wants. But I think Lance makes a great point about one-upmanship because that's kind of where it all begins. It begins there and it begins with being the cool kid. They made a whole movie. What was that movie called? Superbad?
01:32:08
Speaker
And the whole movie was like, hey, I can get the booze and I'm going to bring it to the party. And they were cool. And the whole movie. And everyone can relate to that. So like starting back in high school or whatever, that's kind of what it's about. You guys alluded to that earlier. Like, i don't know. It starts there.
01:32:25
Speaker
It's cool. And like, I'm going to drink a bunch of this and it's going to be fun and cool. And it's what cool people do. i don't know. they kind of yeah Yeah, probably more about talking about don't be... you know work i don't know. I just don't want... If I had my druthers, I would want him to have the wherewithal to understand that he doesn't have to do anything to be cool.
01:32:45
Speaker
What I'm most worried about when it comes to this is not... alcohol it's actually this fentanyl you know like that stuff scares the shit out of me because it can be in anything can be anything anything it you know something you know and then all of a sudden you don't have another shot you don't have it tomorrow and that's scary so our kids are but is that an issue like in uh high school kids are ah getting access to fentanyl and having fentanyl parties and shit or what Because it's in something else. They don't realize it. They take something that that was cool and somebody told them it's going to be fine and then they end up now waking up.
01:33:22
Speaker
yeah That's scary stuff. and I don't want bring us completely down, but like i mean that's truly truly what I think of when I think of my son right now when it comes to this kind of conversation.
01:33:34
Speaker
I know this is not going do anything for them, but I keep telling my kids, like you really, really don't want to try to grow up too fast. It's like, I keep telling them that I'm like, you're obviously kids are going start drinking. like My daughter's in sixth grade going to the seventh and somebody already brought a bottle of booze to school. It's like, it's going to happen. I know. And you're, you're, you're probably not, your you're a social person. You're probably not going to be the geek. That's like, I'm not drinking.
01:34:01
Speaker
You guys are bad people. Like you're probably going to get in on it eventually. It's like, but don't be in a hurry to grow up. And, uh, and they're just like, whatever, dad. Right. It's like you have to like you you had to go through that everything to get to where you are and they have to, too.
01:34:19
Speaker
But ah it's just like, how do you impart on them? It's really not that great, although it is kind of great. So, ah you know, like you said, ah those you don't have any regrets.
01:34:32
Speaker
But I don't know. Parenting is hard. That's all I can say. Parenting is hard. Yeah, man. There's not a whole lot I'm going to say at this point and really even two years ago that my kids are going to give a shit about.
01:34:45
Speaker
i'm um I'm figuring that out real real quick because on one half, my kid plays sports. We talked about that. It's like he takes a lot of guidance and stuff from me. He looks for me for answers and things of that nature. But I can see that's changing rapidly.
01:35:00
Speaker
And once that changes, because I'm the whole time going, hey, you need to like want to do this for yourself. you know This is a your thing. This is not... Dad's taking, you know, I'm still taking it to practice and all, but you know, you're only going to get better, blah, bla blah, You want to do it for yourself. But that's me urging him on to be older and grow up.
01:35:19
Speaker
But at the same time, to Matt's point, it's like, all right, well, don't grow up too fast. So it's like this crazy dichotomy with this age. And matt Lance, you probably know way better than us, right? So I'll do my best, I guess.
01:35:40
Speaker
If I could, i just want to say thanks, guys. Man, ah apart from what you're doing, I think it's awesome. I totally relate to it. I think it's a very cool concept because it's not too far from what everybody needs and wants. I think it's awesome. I've always enjoyed talking to you guys. And when we go back, it's good to connect with you all again. i hope we connect and still continue to connect after this whole thing. so and I appreciate the time, for sure.
01:36:06
Speaker
It all gives me some sort of happy sadness because we've had a few people like you on. I'm like, why would I not talk to this guy? i call How is it possible? Because i I think for a while there, you were early, maybe early on, in in all the way you were like one of my best friends for a long time.
01:36:26
Speaker
Yeah, we hung the basement. I remember playing ping pong, playing that Boston tank. But you were new to, like, I was kind of I just moved to, we both were kind of new to everything there. Because you had just moved back from Chicago and I had just moved out there from Jersey. And I think even like i as early as our freshman year, we were like, didn't have a lot of friends. And I think we were in class together something, but we were friends. Yeah, totally. I remember going to your house and watching White Man Can't Jump.
01:36:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah, there you go. And your and your your little house over there on that where they filmed that video, Ugly Kid Joe filmed that video. Yeah. I remember that. so that's it nice baby It's nice to hear from you, man. i'm glad you're I'm glad you're doing well and your parents are right and everything. It seems like you're in a good place.
01:37:12
Speaker
Yeah, it's good to hear from you too. Being a pussy and not drinking has been good for you, dude. Yeah, I know. Such a fucking loser. Big time. Yeah. I just think about how...
01:37:26
Speaker
When you're in a band together, you know it takes you years of being away from to realize how close of a relationship that is. Obviously you had your brothers, but just like to be sequestered in a van with somebody and to talk about,
01:37:42
Speaker
you know, A to Z, everything you can imagine in this, you know, long drawn out process of going from one gig to the next. It's a truly unique experience. So, you know, if we never talked again, it's such a great thing for me to know that we had that. And you and I talked about some wild shit. We did some wild shit together, even just getting on stage like that. Those are I don't have memories that come close to that, like yeah in it the normal corporate world or whatever.
01:38:10
Speaker
Oh, no. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. It's really hard to rival those times. Those are like, I can remember a lot of those gigs, where we were, how it took to get there, the controversy surrounding it, the the jubilation of having a great time.
01:38:30
Speaker
i dude I remember we were coming out a Boise or something, and we're all sleeping in the back or in John's van. You're driving. It's middle of the night, right before we had to buy the new van, remember?
01:38:41
Speaker
oh yeah And it's like, I just remember waking up, and you're up in the front going, this fucker's not rolling, brah. It's not rolling. and I'm like, oh, shit, what happened now? Oh, we're just we're stuck in whatever that Idaho town was. And then we just talk about partying balls. We just partied balls in the hotel pool for like an entire day.
01:39:02
Speaker
That was crazy. So there you go. on Shit like that, man. It's funny. Yeah, I know. Well, ah yeah, we will keep in touch.
01:39:16
Speaker
So Seniors 94 is written and produced by Matt and Lance. Jingles, commercials, editing by Lance, stand-up comedy by Matt. Music on apothecary scale, commercial, Mocha Daddy. Thank you for listening.