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Episode 002 : Craigslist Scams, Poppers, Twinks Getting Railed In Congress
54 Plays11 months ago
Welcome back to Dom and Dommer! Hosts Anya B Hynz and Dasha ask hard hitting questions about recreational use of poppers, come up with an amazing idea for a rom-com starring Jason Statham and show off their knowledge about the afterlife.
Dom and Dommer is about two friends who talk about everything under the sun and over the moon. We're not only global, we're interstellar. We're also local. Right at your backdoor. We talk about the dumb and the profound. The high and low. So strap in and strap on.
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@anyabhynz & @dashafayv
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Transcript
Surprise Success & Opportunities
00:00:10
Speaker
Episode two, Dom and Dahmer. We're back better than ever. We're back. We're doing well. We're, we're having a great start. I didn't even look. Okay, great. I didn't even realize that. That's cool. Um, yeah. Yes. A little tip. The runaway success of this podcast has really taken me like really off guard. Yeah. You know, are you just getting like slid all over in the DMS or the DMS drenched?
00:00:35
Speaker
Yeah, I'm getting slid all over. That is the exact thing that's happening to me. I'm getting offers left and right. They want me to be in the Macy's Day Parade for next year, because I didn't make it under the wire for this year. So I'm going to be in the Macy's Parade next year. And they also want me to run for Congress.
Scandalous Video & Reactions
00:00:51
Speaker
oh wow okay are you gonna get digged down in congress oh my god you guys before we get to anything else this sent me to the moon when i saw that video i'm talking about the twink that got railed in congress on the senate floor did you see the video
00:01:11
Speaker
OK, so I feel bad. I did see the video. I actually like looked it up. I just found like the Reddit page that had like everything on it. So there was like the close friend screenshots to like the Instagram story and all that stuff. How do you feel?
00:01:28
Speaker
Well, at first what really shook me to the core was that I didn't find this out on my own. I found out my straight cis male roommate was like, did you hear about this? And I went about what? And he told me and I went, how do you know about this? And I don't. This should be on my feet. This should be told to me by pigeon if
Social Media and Generational Behavior
00:01:50
Speaker
I need it.
00:01:50
Speaker
I'm dying because so for anyone who doesn't know, Dasha and myself live with two straight men who are our brothers to each other. And I too did not know about this until the straight man in the house came over to me and said, did you hear about the guy getting railed in the chambers?
00:02:15
Speaker
Do you think they talk to each other before they talk to us? I think they, one of them told the other. The straights know about Congress. More than us, oh my god. And we have, okay, we just got a cute husky who, her name is Luna, she came in, she's sniffing out the
00:02:36
Speaker
Hey, I have a question for you. Have you heard about the have you heard about? She definitely congressman. And that is the avoidance tactic that is being used in the world. She was like, I don't want to get get involved in that. If OK, what's your hot take if you were in a situation like that?
00:02:52
Speaker
Here's what my takeaway was. It was the sharing of the video on Close Friends that really is the only thing that I'm like, really? Did you think people weren't going to post this on the internet? That's my question because it's like, do it. Do you think you're the first or last person that's going to get their brains fucked on the Senate floor? That's like the number one spot for these people. If you're a politician and you're thinking, what's a kinky place to get down?
00:03:18
Speaker
That's the number one place You think so? Yeah, I mean, yes. Yeah Underneath the Lincoln Memorial statue for me See, I don't know how I feel about that. I'm like the Lincoln Memorial is like so sacred to me So maybe that is like the best place Talk about sacred or not sacred for me personally. It's more like The most eyes could be on you
00:03:46
Speaker
Yeah, right. Yeah. Did he edit the video? Like, were there special effects? Was it or was it just a straight? No, it was a straight up like only fan style. Well, Javi strap POV fully. OK. And that's that's that makes sense. I'm proud of our younger generation. Yeah. For their ability to take a dick like that.
Public Eye Challenges & Interests
00:04:11
Speaker
I'm surprised they didn't like
00:04:14
Speaker
pause and then like turn the camera and then do like a 10-second TikTok dance choreo video. Sponsored by Prep. Condoms? No condoms. These are very important things for me to know. Condoms? Me? Condoms? Yeah. No, no, no. Okay. I'm going to ask invasive questions about your private life. I thought Dasha was like, okay, let's just pause for a second.
00:04:38
Speaker
Are you a condom? Yeah. You know what? Fuck it. Are you broke? Yeah. OK. I don't know. I don't think there was a condom, actually. Wow. Raw dog. You know, I fucking get it. Get yours, honey. But it's so wild that he trusted people not to post it. Maybe he maybe he wanted that. Maybe it was like a rush thing. Well, I certainly got a rush.
00:05:05
Speaker
Ding, ding, ding, bling, bling, bling. Just like Troye Sivan, like, ding, ding, ding. Absolutely. I feel the rush. Oh, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Wow, OK. What a great start. Oh my god. I had to talk about it. It's been on my mind for days. I was like, I can't believe the straights have taught me about this. And I didn't even know. Yeah. I'm surprised it wasn't coming up more on the feeds. But I guess also, too, in the spheres that I'm in, no one's probably wanting to talk about it. Everyone's probably like, ugh.
00:05:33
Speaker
Yeah, not me. I want to talk about it all the time. You're like, this is hot. This is Dom and Domer. Dom and Domer exclusive. I was going to ask you what you've been up to since last time we've talked about that you were looking up Senate chambers pornography. Listen, when things happen, I have to be on the forefront of news culture.
00:05:57
Speaker
You are this is why we created this podcast is Dasha's always at the forefront of news culture and Has lots of conspiracies. We will get into that later in later episodes when I can finally pry it out of her Okay, so it's 2024 what's going on beginning of 2024 for you I
00:06:20
Speaker
I'm trying to keep it together because right now I'm a razor's edge about to just have a full mental breakdown 24 seven. I don't know. I'm disassociating constantly. I'm just. What's happening? What's going on? I don't know. Who are you? Who am I every day of the week? You know, but otherwise I'm like really great. I love it. Couldn't be better. Right. Right. Are you are you finding ways to kind of like ground yourself?
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, when I see things like what I saw on the Internet this week, I went, you know what? My life is I'm I'm done. All right. You know what? Nothing's like I'm not having to dodge calls from my family. I'm not having to like explain myself on a national level. I'm fine. Yeah, that's one thing I definitely I'm like, I don't ever really want to be famous enough where any little thing could just like make me lose it and
00:07:15
Speaker
I was talking to somebody who looked at comments underneath a video of their performance online, and they were all positive, but there was one person that had something that wasn't maybe constructive criticism, and that one comment really affected them.
00:07:36
Speaker
And I thought about it and I'm like, 100% I would be like one common one sent me off. I can't even imagine people that are that have giant followings that have to see these things all day. I'm like, I'm like, I get it. It is really mentally taxing.
00:07:53
Speaker
And then it's like, you just never know how anyone is going to take anything that you do or say. So kudos to y'all and find ways to ground yourself, whether that's political pornography or... Disassociation. Disassociation. Wait, what have you been doing in 2024?
00:08:17
Speaker
Well, I am busy working my normal 9 to 6 gig every day, Monday through Friday, basically. Well, tell our wonderful viewers what you do. Well, I work at a agency that is based in New York, also has offices out here in LA, working on lots of commercial social
00:08:42
Speaker
advertising. It's super fun. It's super tiring. Everyone works really hard all the time. I've actually been watching. I've been watching football recently. What are you talking about? Do you know about the NFL? The concept, the enigma. Yes. The word. Yeah. I mean, I know about it as much as anyone who doesn't watch or follow the sport knows about it, you know?
00:09:10
Speaker
I mean, I think a lot of people operate on their region. Okay, this is the team I'm supposed to root for. This is the team that seems cool to the people around me. Bandwagon fans. Bandwagon fans. That's me with Fleetwood Mac. Yeah, the number one team in the NFL, Fleetwood Mac. Did they ever do the halftime show? I'm assuming yes.
00:09:38
Speaker
Did they ever, oh Fleetwood Mac, no idea. Isn't Usher doing the halftime show this year? Oh my God, I'm so excited. He's gonna rollerblade, I know it. I wonder if he's gonna have those. Is he known for rollerblading? Well, his Vegas show is crazy. He has like a, I mean, I don't know, it's like a 70 foot pole and he has this exotic dancer on it who drops from the tippy top almost to the bottom during his singing portion. He is on rollerblades. I did a commercial with him and he did,
00:10:07
Speaker
he does all his own skating and i looked at him like i can't believe you can sing and you can skate like that at the same time but he's an amazing dancer and performer so i don't know why i just didn't assume that he could do it but it was super impressive so he fucking does that at the super bowl
00:10:23
Speaker
That is cool. Oh, imagine strippers, rollerblading Super Bowl 2024. You heard it here first. What's what's nuts is the fact that they have to organize like putting a stage together and like all the people that are involved within like I think it's like five minutes or something they get between five to 10 minutes. I think between the end of the second quarter and like commercial breaks and stuff.
00:10:50
Speaker
I swear I was like, at the end of, when you said second quarter, I went, what? I am so butched. My God, you know so much about sports. The second quarter.
00:11:06
Speaker
You know, because the UK is known. For American football. Yes, absolutely. Second quarter. I can't do accents, I can't do it. It's the bottom of the second quarter and we've got Acha coming right on. I'm not gonna lie, this is very attractive to me. I don't know what happened to me. You just do the rest of the pod like this forever. I like it so much.
00:11:27
Speaker
Do it for me. Do it as a gift. My birthday is right around Super Bowl time. I'm going to make a cameo account just so I can pay for myself to make you a cameo where I do that. Oh, my God. You know, I knew you loved me, but you proved it today. Sponsored by Cameo. Cameo. Your Santos is on Cameo. I know. OK, we're going to come right back after this break and talk about George
00:11:57
Speaker
Motherfucking Santy's And that's the way commercial commercial Z way interview. Yeah, and the commercials are good to check it out. Bye Oh, we're so back
00:12:21
Speaker
I just want to talk about the fact that during our break, we talked about you going to the restroom and you said, what did you say? I needed to pee and I couldn't pee. Can you believe this? I want everyone here to watch like the beauty and the glamour that you bring today. This is the kind of sacrifice that for the entire recording period, my dear friend and co-host cannot actually go to the bathroom. And that is for you. That is on you. That's on y'all.
00:12:47
Speaker
I mean, the girls and the dolls know. Sometimes you just gotta hold it forever. You fill yourself up. Forever and ever. I'm holding my piss and I will do it, do it, do it. All the time, all through brunch, I'll never will piss through each and every gig I... Okay. Incredible. All right, I'm so glad we covered that. Listen, we needed to cover it because I feel like if you're gonna give us and serve this to us, we need to know the pain and the suffering.
00:13:17
Speaker
I mean, you are in overalls, which is truly the hottest thing for me. And if anyone knows when someone's in overalls, it's like a game changer. I would. How what can I do to make myself look more like a baby every second? Yeah, because I feel like I want to look younger. I want to be more youthful. I want to keep up with the times, but be young. And I don't have the money to get everything plucked, plied and kind of.
00:13:42
Speaker
you know, tightened. So instead, I'm just wearing children's clothing. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's definitely the better option and the way to go. Yeah. Is that a 75 year old, three year old? That's the kind of right.
00:14:00
Speaker
No, I'm not. I told you I'm disassociating. This is why when I take you to the Cheesecake Factory, I'm like, can we get a discount for her? Just please. Just five dollars off, at least.
00:14:13
Speaker
Please, for the wreck I've caused you. I'm in my like 80th hour of community service, please. And speaking of community service, George Santos. Oh, my God. The fact that during Zway's interview, he wasn't able to define empathy. I sat there. I mean, I was like, is it just because it's like, you know, I don't know how you feel, but like sometimes in the moment I get super nervous and
00:14:42
Speaker
the words just don't come out correct, or I just don't know what to say, whatever. I'm like, is it that he knows the definition, but because it's like, there's 14 cameras on him, he's like unable to define it? Or does this sociopath genuinely not know what empathy is?
00:14:57
Speaker
Yeah, I think he definitely did not know exactly maybe how to define it, but he had no problem in the other portion where he had to talk about certain historical famous people and could not even get through that list, but was pretty confidently not getting through that list.
00:15:18
Speaker
I was like retelling the clip to somebody and I was like saying, I need he didn't even know who Martha P. Johnson was. And they were like, yeah, totally. That's so wild. I'm like, do you know who Martha P. Johnson is? And they genuinely didn't know. And I went,
Scams, Culture & Movie Ideas
00:15:35
Speaker
we need to teach our youth. We need to teach. That's the thing is that we are not like, I mean, when we grew up, I don't know about you, but most of my.
00:15:44
Speaker
history classes, social studied classes didn't even cover I think any of those people that she mentioned. No but I think it's like we never get those things given to us in school. I think we always seek it out and I think people have really stopped seeking people out. I think now it's like
00:16:02
Speaker
culture is different from like history for us. So it's like, well, we'll look up someone that's like culturally relevant. That's like in the sphere of like LGBTQ, whatever, but we're not going to look at the people that actually like gave us the rights to be able to do the things we want to do. Yeah. Know your pioneers. Know your cultural icons.
00:16:22
Speaker
and don't know George Santos. Forget him, actually. I know. I mean, that's the thing. Truly, he did have some good rebuttals because I mean, he said like, if you don't want me around, stop booking me on these chicken shit gigs. Boots the house down. I could not. If there was anything more cringe worthy through the entire interview, it's him like,
00:16:48
Speaker
Boots the house down, mama. Whatever it was. To me it was the Nicki moment. I'm like, ugh. What? What's he? He like wrapped Monster, like her verse from Monster. He's like, from a bad bit that came from it. I'm like, oh no. Yeah. Okay. What is the biggest scam you've ever fallen for? Because he's done some crazy stuff. And I can't believe people, people allowed him to do this for years.
00:17:13
Speaker
I well, the only ones that actually come to mind are the ones that are a little more like messages you'll get on like a social platform like Instagram, where they're saying that they're like Instagram or their meta or something. And I fully have to start sending screenshots to people to confirm if this is a scam or not, because I am like ready to fall for it.
00:17:37
Speaker
If someone, you know, hacked somebody's platform, I mean, so many people were getting scammed that way where they were hacking their friends or like someone who was like mutual enough. And then they're saying like, oh, can you send me this much money or like, can I get your phone number? And people are like, oh, my God, I need to help them because, you know, the queer community were sticking together and staying strong. But it like affected so many people in that said community. I remember seeing so many people posting like
00:18:04
Speaker
Oh, like this wasn't, you know, what I thought I got scammed. And so, you know, they had to make a whole new Instagram profile, which kind of sucked. I mean, it's not, it's not like a credit card scam or something like that. I mean, the only other scams I definitely would fall for are like pyramid scheme cults. Oh, like I love them. I love them. Oil salesman, you know, like essential oils. There's like a whole thing about that.
00:18:30
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, things like that, like those companies that you're, you think you're selling a product or that you're like getting something out of it. And then you find out you're in a cult and it's actually a scam. Like leggings, Lou Lou leggings or whatever. You fully saw that. Yes, I did. And it was out here in LA. It was, um, it wasn't Lou Lou cause Lou Lou lemon is something totally different.
00:18:58
Speaker
They're also leggings. They're also leggings and they have not been scammed. LaRue. LaRue. LaRue. So I'm like, yes. Anyway, whatever. Yeah. Okay, great. How about you? What scams have you noticed or are falling for? I fell for...
00:19:13
Speaker
fell for I'm assuming it's a money laundering situation or it's a I felt okay I was selling a couch online I got hit up by this nice gentleman he was from Chicago he owns his own furniture business he's an immigrant he was telling me hey
00:19:30
Speaker
I want to buy this couch for my sales floor. And I said, of course, sir, of course you serve from Chicago would want this couch from Los Angeles, because obviously shipping it would definitely not be as expensive as just buying a closer couch to your business in Chicago.
00:19:46
Speaker
Yes, of course, you want my amazing gray couch. He said, ma'am, I'm going to send you the money. I went, amazing. He goes, I don't know how to use technology. I'm going to send you a check. I went, okay. I get a check in the mail. I gave him my full address. I get a check in the mail. The check is to me. I go, okay, why is there more money on this check than how much my couch is worth?
00:20:10
Speaker
And he goes, oh, that's because there's going to be men that are going to come pick up the couch and you're going to pay them the other money. I go, I don't want any person coming to my house to pick up my couch that I have to give the money for. And he goes, don't worry about it. Just go to the bank, get the money. It's going to take you three seconds. I go, OK, I go to the bank, I cash the check, I come home and then I sit there and I go, this seems wrong. So scary.
00:20:37
Speaker
So I went back to the bank. I said, I think this was a scam. Here's all the money back. I'm so sorry. I told him, do not talk to me again. Do not contact me again. And I Googled couch scam Craigslist, Facebook, you know,
00:20:52
Speaker
and it was like the top result was like 90 year old granny is falling for this because apparently it's so obvious and then I realized that the check he gave me I would it was like printed on computer paper like this was
00:21:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah. The fact that the bank took the it's really on the banks that they took the check and they cash it because I was not, you know, I it was so I felt I got a security alarm system because I was so scared because he had my address. I was like, he's going to send someone to murder me because I didn't give him the money or the couch or whatever. I was so afraid. Wow. Anyway, feel a little better about your situation.
00:21:36
Speaker
I know I'm worried about like losing my Instagram and Dasha's texting the Craigslist killer. I definitely would fall for stuff like that. And I feel bad for like old people because they definitely don't know better. And I mean, the fact that I don't know about you, but I've run into several elderly people who donate
00:22:02
Speaker
to like every single thing that like comes up on TV or whatever, like give a dollar to this, give a dollar to that. And then you're getting all these trinkets in the mail that were made by toddlers. Yeah, in another country.
00:22:17
Speaker
And I think it's a common misconception that only elderly people fall for these scams because some young youthful baby looking people can also fall for these things. So you know what? It's not just the olds, it's also the dashes.
00:22:35
Speaker
But you had you had that you still have that part of your brain that clicked for a second and said, after I went to the bank, it should have been my first thing going, why does this man from Chicago want my couch? Here's he appealed to my because I'm an immigrant. So I go, yeah, sure. You're none of the things you're writing makes sense. Sure. You're missing every other word. Sure. Things are misspelled. Sure. To anybody else, this would be like a red flag. But to me, I'm like, I know what it's like to not have English as the first language.
00:23:03
Speaker
So I'm like, who am I to judge this person? Looking back, I mean, yeah, a Chad GBT robot wrote that and I was just like making excuses. But at the moment I really was like, oh, don't be like that, Dasha. Like your parents misspell stuff when they text you or like, you don't know how to spell for God's sake. So like, I felt like I was being, you know, like prejudiced, but I really wasn't thinking.
00:23:26
Speaker
That is so funny. That does make me think of the time where someone was saying that they were from like meta, they were getting rid of my account for some reason. Like I had, like they were flagging something. But when I, when you look at the message, there was so much wrong with these sentences. And when I would confirm like, can you please tell me what this is all about? The sentences got worse. So I was like, Oh, okay.
00:23:50
Speaker
something's up, they're like, because they definitely have like a handbook on their end of like, if the person says this, write this, you went off script and then they freaked out. They were like, usually this 90 year old grandma at this point goes, absolutely don't cancel my account. Here's $13,000. Yeah, I should have tried to start like a whole friendship with this person. Like, actually, we should meet for coffee. Like this could be your rom com. It's a rom com moment.
00:24:18
Speaker
Has that ever been written, a scam or like telemarketer, love rom-com? Dasha, you gotta write this. I don't think not a rom-com, but there is a movie with Jason Statham where he is a beekeeper who goes on a vengeful spree when a big corporation like, I think scams an elderly woman and I think she offs herself. I mean, I just watched- In the beginning or the end? Which one would make you watch it?
00:24:48
Speaker
Probably the end. Oh, I would think the beginning. You want this elderly woman to offer herself right at the top of the movie. Otherwise, why is Jason Statham working people left and right? There's no justification. Yes, no, this is why you are a writer. Yes. Step one, kill the granny. Step two, Jason Statham works everyone at meta.
00:25:07
Speaker
This is so good. I mean, well, it's it's already written. It's it's there. But I should write it though. Yeah, you got to write the sequel. And I never saw the movie. Guys, I have an amazing pitch to change the characters. You know, it's not the first time Hollywood's main movies are exactly the same thing about the exact same. Or
Mortality & Career Choices
00:25:23
Speaker
you do what Hollywood does and turn it into a musical, a movie musical or have it a stage adaptation and then a movie. So that's true. That's the trajectory. They're not your mother's Jason Statham movie about beekeeping.
00:25:36
Speaker
don't even say that you know you yeah that is you know that's a touchy subject i i saw like the trailer for mean girls the musical and i went not your mother's mean girls yeah yeah i know and i went why are they coming for me like that it's so but you know if you think about it
00:26:00
Speaker
That movie came out. Was that movie when it came out for us specifically? Or was it for people that were a little older than us and maybe we could feel better? What year did it come out? 2006? What year?
00:26:14
Speaker
I want to say, you said 2006. Yeah. You're probably around there. Maybe it was like 2004. I mean, I guess 2004 was the original Mean Girls in 2004. How old were you in 2004? Okay. 12. We were 12. Yes. So the movie was not for us.
00:26:36
Speaker
That's high school. That's like right. Dosh. What? How how old is high school? High school is like 14, 15, 16, 17. You're right. I forgot.
00:26:49
Speaker
12, like, okay, fifth grade is like 10 to 11, sixth grade is like 11 to 12. Or like, you know, like that's because if you, yeah, I'm trying to remember. But it's 2024. So in 2004, people in their 20s are now in their 40s.
00:27:09
Speaker
What you just said took me out. Why would you do this to me? For one, we're not quite there yet, so we can say things like that and not feel personally attacked. It's such a crazy thing how much time has passed.
00:27:26
Speaker
It is. Oh, my God. Yes. The fact that when you can go to the liquor store and as long as they see the 19 on your card, they don't give a shit what it says. We are timed. We are. I know I was I this is probably a sad segment of of this pod, but I did watch like a few videos the other day of people like
00:27:53
Speaker
Why am I blanking on her name? Liza Minnelli's mom, Judy Garland, Judy Garland. See, this is look at that. I know it's the this is on camera. This is on tape. This is on tape. I know. I know exactly. I'm George Santos. Shame.
00:28:11
Speaker
I know I was I had weed brain for a second because I was like yeah anyway um so Judy was singing this was obviously way back in the day and I was like damn she was she had so much she was at the top of her game she was icon I mean obviously shit happened in her younger years and whatnot and she was mistreated
00:28:35
Speaker
But and I know that Okay, okay. Okay. I was gonna say so Dorothy was singing so Judy Garland was singing and I was like damn she's dead That's the realization I was like she is dead and she is she was such an icon and like There was nothing that could have saved her
00:29:09
Speaker
I was having a bit of a moment with mortality. And you know what? I was following you. I was on the adventure with you. I was walking hand to hand with you, leg to legs in step. And then that happened. And now I am, I'm lost, but I'm climbing back.
00:29:28
Speaker
Yes, she did die. That is a fact. And nobody could have saved her because everybody dies. I know. And that sucks. I know. I don't even know. Would I be more mad if famous iconic people could live on through something that required a lot of money or fame? Or, you know, am I feeling humbled by the fact that everyone dies just like everyone poops, you know?
00:29:52
Speaker
Yeah, the two big things in life. Everybody poops and everybody dies. That's always inevitable. That's why you have to go into professions that are either in mortuaries or fecal matter specialists. Okay, which one of us gets which job? Oh, I would definitely. I was gonna say I would do the mortuary, but I don't see you with fecal matter.
00:30:11
Speaker
That's the kind of things anyone ever said to me. I also don't see myself as a fecal matter specialist, but maybe you are the person. Okay. This is also, wow, we're getting dark, but when someone is dead and you're at the mortuary and you're the person with the scrubs on, are you cleaning out their poop and stuff like that? I don't know if we're going to keep this. I think it's very important. Here's the thing. I mean, I don't think, I don't think you do. I mean, unless they shit themselves, but if they do a yes.
00:30:42
Speaker
Because sometimes that people shit themselves. Oh, OK, but. From the inside of them, no, they're not delivering your body to the mortuary with clothes on, are they like your shit stained clothes? They're not going to take your clothes off. They put you in a little bag. They bring you over there. The people there clean you, take everything from them. I don't they don't remove organs, right? They don't like take out organs. But that's OK. So this is where I'm getting caught up is like I thought a lot of that stuff happened at the hospital.
00:31:12
Speaker
where they pronounce you dad but but but if you die in your house or you die somewhere else because you don't get taken to the hospital you get what if you die in the woods yes they take you straight to the mortuary
00:31:27
Speaker
Let's say I'm going to use myself an example. I'm 97 because I love that age. I kick it, but I kick it at my familial mansion with my beautiful, healthy family around me who love each other, respect each other, and are all wonderful. I died there. The mortuary people come in. They pronounce me dead like the EMT as they go absolutely dead. They put me in a little body bag, and I think they take me to a mortuary per my plan.
00:31:57
Speaker
okay so here's my follow-up em they have mortuary emts just emts i think but they're not connected to the hospital well emts are connected to hospitals but they come in because they have to like 100% go yeah this person's dead otherwise you could potentially send an alive person to the mortuary right right so i guess that's where i thought the hospital came in where is that that's where they're proclaiming people dead to be fair
00:32:27
Speaker
I don't know most things, so do not take what I'm saying. No, I feel like you're very confident about this and clearly you're right. You should be at the mortuary. I'll be at the shit gutter place, whatever it's called. I'm only confident because I did debate in high school and they told you if you say anything with confidence, you could say anything. And I've used that into my late 30s. This is why you're so tapped into the Republican Party.
00:32:58
Speaker
Just saying things with such confidence. What a hellscape to think. And that's a great place to take a break. Bye. I'm going to rethink my whole life right now. Tapped into the Republican Party.
Recurring Segments & Ethics
00:33:18
Speaker
Okay.
00:33:22
Speaker
Well, I'm back and I thought about a lot about what you just said. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. I surely did. I am not part of the Republican Party.
00:33:33
Speaker
Dasha just wants to make the statement so no one takes it. I honestly need that to be very clear. Very clear, yeah. I just, you know, Dasha's so good at confidently saying things that may or may not be true, which seems pretty tapped in. But anyway, beyond Santos,
00:33:55
Speaker
We are going to start our reoccurring segment. You know it. You love it. You look forward to it every episode. Every episode you look forward to clamoring for it, begging for it. You go, when are we going to get to it? Yes. It's called Yes or No. Si or No. Da, ilignet. Look at that. We are such cunning linguists. Oh, I'm a cunning linguist for sure. I mean, I mean, look at this. Look at these overalls. She definitely is a cunning linguist.
00:34:28
Speaker
What are you implying? Are you implying that because I wear overalls, I'm really good at eating pussy? Because then you'd be right.
00:34:38
Speaker
Wow. Yeah, you got me there. I was like, do I? She does look like she's you eat the hell out of some pussy right now or some pussy, you know, not. I know you love both. Look, I'm an equal opportunist muncher. You're here first. Wow. OK. And so that that begins yes or no for us. So Dasha, yes or no. Sheepskin condoms.
00:35:06
Speaker
Yes, because I know people have latex allergies and I, that's so funny because I am in fact a big condom proponent, taking it back to the beginning of this podcast. I truly do like always constantly I'm like condoms, condoms, condoms. So if you want to use a sheepskin one, do it.
00:35:26
Speaker
They've come a long way. They used to look like a Benjamin Franklin sock, but... They used to, too. Unfortunately. Yeah, I guess they do kind of look like a... But who cares? It's going in ya. Yeah, I guess. I don't care what it looks like. The hunks is doing his job.
00:35:45
Speaker
Okay, zoos. Excuse me. Zoos. What? Yes or no? Zoos. Z-O-O-S. Zoos. Oh my God. I was like, is that an acronym for something? Literally the place where animals are in captivity. That's a tough one.
00:36:09
Speaker
I'm a journalist and a scholar. Listen, this really hits home for me. Can I say yes, but with like an asterisk? Of course. What am I going to judge you? I just said I want to put Benjamin Franklin socks inside of me. That's right. You have no place to judge at all. You did not have to go that far. It was fine and then you did that. God damn. Okay.
00:36:37
Speaker
I do have a San Diego Alliance shirt, or San Diego Zoo Alliance shirt. I love San Diego.
00:36:48
Speaker
But I do support zoos that are doing the right work to save species and to help animals that are endangered. However, I do not care for just any old zoo and the fact that most animals should probably be out in the wild. However, with another asterisk, I say
00:37:11
Speaker
I say global warming is not helping and we are building so many infrastructures and taking over land and so we're making those spaces for animals less and less livable and smaller and smaller. So therefore, what the hell do we do? Build more zoos. You heard it here, folks. Anya wants more zoos and more global warming.
00:37:37
Speaker
Okay. I see what you did there because I called you a Republican. You want to come back at me and start saying that I'm a Republican. We just have to start telling people facts. They got to get to know us. They got to go know the real us. I'm a staunch Republican and you don't believe in global warming.
Nostalgia, Folklore & Cultural Critiques
00:37:52
Speaker
All right. Hey, I'm up for anything. If Cardi B doesn't believe in aliens, then
00:37:58
Speaker
who am I to believe in anything? When I saw that video, I went, the last thing I thought Cardi B would not believe in is and take a hard, strong stance on was aliens. That really hurt. It did. I was like, wow, I thought she was kind of like open minded and she seems so open minded, but that really took a left there. OK, so next thing I have on my list is yes or no. Dannity Kane.
00:38:27
Speaker
Yes. A resounding yes. I watched making the band both seasons. I thought they were so talented and so good. What was that song? We in the damage. Oh, sure. That one. Both of those songs are great. You know, that was the thing. I was going to see what what favorite song you have.
00:38:45
Speaker
Well, I'm I'm a dancey girl and I was like, it was too slow for me. The the other one was too slow for me. I needed like damage. Pop, pop, pop. Like I needed the pops. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I love Danny McCain. I'm so sad they broke up. OK. Yes or no. It's hot dog a sandwich. Yes. OK. Yes, it is. What's your definition of a sandwich?
00:39:09
Speaker
I just want to know I have no skin in the game. OK, yeah, yeah. I just want to know what you when you when you go to like a Jersey Mike. So you like give me a hot dog. Give me a sandwich. Yeah, I. Yeah. When I go to Jersey Mike's, I do go give me a sandwich. I demand it. Yeah. So my next one is handcuffs in the bedroom. Yes or no? Yeah. If you're into that, absolutely. No, but are you into it? It's what I'm asking. Yes. OK. Oh, that's a good question. Yeah.
00:39:39
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to do it. Oh, OK. No, I'm asking you if you like it. No, I don't want handcuffs. No, no, I'm too scared. Oh, what? Are they going to lock you in there forever? Yes, I'm going to get that we're going to lose the key or, you know, something's going to malfunction and then I'm literally locked to the bed. So you're you're thinking like police level handcuffs, not like the kinds you would get at a sex store, which are pretty easily breakable.
00:40:06
Speaker
I haven't seen the middle tier ones. I mean, yes, I've seen the handcuffs that are made out of plastic that you get at Target. I don't want those either. Those are ugly. If you're going to give me handcuffs, give me handcuffs, but I don't want handcuffs. Baby, if you're going to give me handcuffs, give me handcuffs. Don't give me this Fisher Price handcuffs. What a sad life if there's a Fisher Price handcuff set. Well, we've got a lot of questions if there's a Fisher Price handcuff set. Absolutely. Do aliens exist?
00:40:37
Speaker
Hell, yeah, they exist. And so does Bigfoot and leprechauns. Again, I was following you. We were walking in step and then left hard left. I know, I know. But I mean, I believe in most things. I believed in Santa for a while, even when I saw my mom put the the gift under the tree. When did you find out Santa wasn't real? I was probably like eight or nine. That's pretty late.
00:41:06
Speaker
Wow, okay. It says the person who doesn't even believe in Santa. No, I don't. Ever. No, no, no. I believe in the Russian version, which is Yamaros. I believed in him for a while. He.
00:41:16
Speaker
is like a bigger, more folkloric person. He has a little niece who travels and gives out presents on New Year's. She's really hot, which is weird, I would think, for this old man and this really hot young woman to travel and give out gifts to children. But that is the traditions I grew up with and I will not be ashamed of that. We've seen Eurovision. God, I love Eurovision.
00:41:41
Speaker
People need to stop sleeping on Eurovision yesterday. I am so tired of people in this country completely missing one of the greatest show that has ever existed in the history of entertainment, music, and culture. Eurovision, people. Dasha got me hooked on Eurovision, and it's really crazy how much that competition where countries who would not be
00:42:05
Speaker
condoning that kind of behavior seem to suddenly love it. Absolutely. It's like all these countries that are passing extremely homophobic and like anti everything bills in their countries, they're sending out people who are
00:42:22
Speaker
like dick fucking and dick fucking and ass blow jobbing each other on that stage left and right. And they're like, yep, we love that. Let's put that out there. So it's it's super family friendly. What's the word for when you say one thing, you do the opposite. That's right. It's very hypocritical.
00:42:46
Speaker
Um, I'm a writer. Words are my medium. You are. You very much are a writer. Yeah. But I forgot the word hypocrite. Okay. Will Ferrell, which I wrote. Feral like, Feral. Okay. This is going to be my zoo. I liked him, but then he did the movie with Mel Gibson, daddy home to daddy's home to whatever. And I went, come on, man. You don't have to do a movie with Mel Gibson.
00:43:15
Speaker
Right, because Mel Gibson's bad. Uh-huh. Okay. Just wanted to confirm. But you knew that, right? Yes, and I just wanted to make sure I was catching, okay? Okay, the drift. You can do better than that, Will Ferrell. That's all I'm saying. And I think he's extremely talented. I will watch any of his movies, but I did get disappointed.
00:43:38
Speaker
He's all right. He's like kind of like an Adam Sandler for me, like funny movies. Yes, my family loves him and. You know,
Wealth, Preferences & Humor
00:43:49
Speaker
I just watched Adam Sandler's movie Leo on Netflix. It's a little animated kids movie. I cried no less than three times. Oh, it was so weirdly moving. OK, here we go. Being very, very, very rich.
00:44:08
Speaker
No. Do you think of it like if everyone just had enough money to be comfortable, like everything would be fine?
00:44:16
Speaker
No, I think that should be degrees. I mean, if you're like doing, you know, really amazing things, you should be paid an equal amount of money. But I think that if you're like a good trillionaire for selling oil and like killing people and like ruining the environment, that to me is a bummer. So I don't think everyone should be making the same amount of money, but you shouldn't be like so insanely rich that you could basically buy the world.
00:44:41
Speaker
Right, if you're not helping people. Oh, God. One of mine was sex in the Senate chambers. Yes or no? I say yes. I say yes. I think get yours. Just don't put it on close friends. That's all. I was going to add, OK, so poppers. Yeah, it's big. Yes, that's a big yes. For you, like you enjoy them. You enjoy them. Oh, for not for sex. Yeah. What are you using poppers for? For like a Sunday afternoon.
00:45:11
Speaker
Just sniffing poppers. Have you done whippets? Oh my god. What am I, your delicate sensibility, am I fully? Oh my god, Dasha. Oh my god. You're doing whippets?
00:45:23
Speaker
Not right now. Not in this very moment. Oh, wow. Not probably in this calendar year, but I have done poppers in this calendar year. Not for sex, for entertainment and learning. I feel like I've had conversations with people about poppers outside of sex, but
00:45:43
Speaker
You know, I will say there was a moment in time where I had some poppers, someone gifted me and I was sniffing them as like a part of my nighttime routine. Like I was just going to bed. Like I was like, Oh, wash my face, brush my teeth.
00:45:56
Speaker
sniff a little pop for like a week before I was like, this is not okay. And this is going to severely fuck up my brain. So you, you sniff it before bed and then you just go to sleep. Like, yeah, it was like, Oh, this head rush is nice as I laid to my pillow. But it made me think about, and I feel like I had conversations after the fact about like,
00:46:15
Speaker
the idea of using them outside of a sexual situation. And you're just like Sunday in the park with George Santos. Mandy Patinkin, but it's George Santos. Yikes. I mean, like if you and I were out at the precinct or whatever the precinct, the precinct and and we wanted to like you had some poppers and you're like, oh, snap, I would be like, yeah, you know, this is fun. But then we would have sex.
00:46:43
Speaker
I love that you were going in for a kiss and I was going into the camera. And that is our relationship. That is fully our relationship. I'm trying to kiss you and you're like for the camera, save it for the camera. Okay. Cilantro. Yes or no? No. 100%. Me too. No, no, no.
00:47:00
Speaker
Yeah. Wow. Okay. So you're on the bandwagon. I just had this combo like yesterday and I think the day before yesterday and most people seem to like it. Everyone seems to be like, Oh, you're the one who has the soap thing. Yes. I do too. When did you find out?
00:47:15
Speaker
Oh since I was a young kid but like most recently we went to some place in freaking Highland Park and they made guac and I tried and I went I can't eat this because it tastes like dish soap and my friend was like what are you talking about like there's so much cilantro in here and he was like no way and he tried he goes wow this is the first time someone was right about this there is so much cilantro in this.
00:47:38
Speaker
And it's like, you know, it's supposed to be such a nice like addition to so many different dishes. And I remember going to Mexico and I was like finally having what I thought was going to be an amazing, authentic.
00:47:50
Speaker
taco, which it was, but it was like garnished with a handful of cilantro and onions. And I like onions, but the cilantro just ruined it. And I didn't know until like that moment where I was like taking big bites and I was like, this tastes crazy. That's wild. Butter candles. The hell is a butter candle?
00:48:13
Speaker
Okay, so they've been making candles with things that are not wax. And the two I wanted to bring up to you today to see how you felt about was butter candles, which are candles made out of butter so that you can dip your bread into the candle that is lit. And massage candles, which I feel like you know, which they burn into an oil that you can literally pour onto a person and massage. An edible butter candle? Yeah, you haven't seen these on TikTok and Reels? No.
00:48:42
Speaker
No, I've been getting the videos about making my own butter. So I bought a butter turner. You did not. I did. In fact, yesterday I made butter. I made butter yesterday. I made butter yesterday and that butter is it's a truffle salted butter. It was so good. I forgot my name.
00:49:04
Speaker
I mean, I'm not surprised, one, that you figured out how to make butter and did it. This is very Dasha. This tracks hardcore. I think we need to do like a whole photo shoot or a video of you making butter in like a cute little Russian outfit. It's 50 minutes of me going like this to a hand crank. Oh, that's an OnlyFans video right there. Yeah, I can make some money. Yeah. OK. Yes or no. People who make Burning Man their whole personality.
00:49:35
Speaker
No, but I am so glad you brought this up. This is actually one of those topics I was supposed to write down. I thought about it and was like, I need to talk to Dasha about Burning Man because we all know Dasha loves Burning Man. I sure do. She has been going for several years now. She is one of the lead matriarchs of the burn itself.
00:50:01
Speaker
I couldn't even keep it going. My news to me, but keep going. Anyway, someone who their whole being is Burning Man, similar to any other single characteristic or thing that you do in life.
00:50:22
Speaker
I know. I feel like I like it. You know how much I like Burning Man. Yeah. But even
Humor, Gifts & Gratitude
00:50:27
Speaker
I go, you cannot make that your whole personality because that is it's a tough one. I have a question for you. Yes. Thank you. Gag gifts.
00:50:37
Speaker
um i don't care for gag gifts because they normally get thrown away or left in a cupboard gag city gifts on the other hand i'd also throw those away too um that was so fucked up
00:50:52
Speaker
But yeah, I mean like what plastic poop and and It could be it could be anything if someone got me like rock em sock em You know those little rock em sock em robots. No, no a rock em sock em the little gloves Okay, that you could like I guess hit someone with it's like a for you. That's a gag gift Someone thought I knew that's a gift
00:51:16
Speaker
That's a full gift. And thank you for the gift. Oh, I wish I knew that you liked it. Because I was like, when am I going to punch someone? When am I going to be like, hey, do you want to come over? I'm going to inflate these big gloves. You're going to inflate them too. And then we're just going to beep, beep, beep each other. Did you not ever see or get excited about those Hulk hands when those came out? No, I never got excited about those. Wow. You're so European.
00:51:44
Speaker
This was in the United States. But still. Also born in Russia. Not part of Europe. Right. That's right. Damn. I always think I'm like, is Russia part of Europe? But it's actually Russia is its own continent. Right. I mean, other than it being a country, if you were to their seven continents, give them to me right now.
00:52:14
Speaker
Okay, well, Canada, North America, and Mexico are one continent. Then South America, so North America, South America, then I'm pretty sure Europe, Asia, and Russia are one. Then there's... Excuse me? Are they not one? They're one, they're one piece of land.
00:52:37
Speaker
Dasha, you are about to give me so much shit for calling Russia a continent. Australia is its own continent. Yes. Africa is its own continent. Yes.
00:52:54
Speaker
Antarctica and North Pole. Bitch, I know what. Listen, we need I need like verification right now. My brain is about science. OK, I love I love that. This is what we've we've come to is confirming the seven continents. I mean, I went to public school. I'm an actual idiot. I'm actually a certified idiot.
00:53:21
Speaker
Okay, so Europe and Asia are apparently two. Oceania, which is Australia, is one. Antarctica, South America, North America, and Africa in Europe. So I guess Europe and Asia are not the same. Well, I knew they weren't the same, but I thought they were... What are they divided? Oh, they are. Okay, see... They're divided by that fucking thing. They're... God damn it! Yeah, I'm stupid. Okay, well, I mean, I guess we were both wrong. I was really wrong.
00:53:48
Speaker
Dude, this is bad. I need to go back to school tonight. Um, no, no, this is exactly what they want us to think. You're right. You're right. They want us to think this, but really it's what I'm saying, which is North Pole Antarctica. Everything's one thing.
00:54:15
Speaker
well thanks dasha this is why we came together and this is why we we love each other because even though we don't know how many continents there are we know what really exists and that is love that is love i was gonna say that girl love
00:54:37
Speaker
I had like eight different songs about love. There's only songs about love that only make songs about love. All right. Well, I think that's a great place to sign off for today. The embarrassment I feel is only like in miniature form compared to how much love I feel for you, my sweet Anya.
00:54:56
Speaker
I'm so glad and I love you. I'm glad that you let me ping pong these statements at you that may or may not be triggering or negative. So I love you so much and I can't wait for next month's episode. Please write in, message us, DM us, smoke trails.
00:55:21
Speaker
And we want to give a quick shout out to one of the people that have been posting about us and talking about us, Jessica Kansinger on Instagram. We saw your incredible message and we really appreciate you for spreading the love about the podcast. So yeah, right in, we look at everything. Thank you, Jess. Yeah, thank you so much. Bye! Bye!