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How Collective Peace & Ancestral Healing Can Transform Your Life With Ceren Ocal
72 Plays5 months ago
Join me and Ceren Ocal in a deep conversation about how collective peace and ancestral healing can transform the way we live. We explore reconnecting with our roots, understanding the subtle ways ancestral trauma shapes us, and finding clarity by stepping away from life’s constant noise. This episode invites you to embrace stillness, nurture meaningful connections, and cultivate a life rooted in quiet purpose and shared humanity. A guide for anyone seeking calm, reflection, and a deeper understanding of how we carry—and can release—the past to create a more peaceful present.
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Transcript
Introduction to Jeran Ojol and Her Philosophy
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to Connected with Eva. Today I'm speaking with Jeran Ojol, a creative connector and producer-artist who bridges worlds with her interpreter roots.
00:00:12
Speaker
We talk about cutting through the noise, cultivating inner peace and joy, and leading with kindness in everything we're doing life. Let's dive straight in. One of the beautiful things about the creative world, right?
00:00:26
Speaker
Through networking, you always find really interesting people and then you connect the way we connect it. I just thought it was like a very interesting place to start.
00:00:38
Speaker
The importance of networking, but that kind of authentic, organic, real connection, you know, not to get to know someone because you want something.
Entry into Modeling and "We Are More Than Size"
00:00:51
Speaker
So yeah, let's start here. I'm an only child. I grew up in Belgium and until I was like 14. I thought like, oh wow, entertainment world. Look at this.
00:01:02
Speaker
These are my people. So I actually started like, you know, modeling when I came to London. i so I studied something completely different and then I studied media. But I started modeling and I was not even thinking of becoming a model back in the day.
00:01:17
Speaker
I went to like a body confidence workshop. turned out to be a model competition. I saw all these people. I felt connected. They became my friends. The competition finished and I was like, wait a minute, this cannot end.
00:01:31
Speaker
Let's do a street catwalk. Let's do this. Let's do a fashion show. let And something called We Are More Than Size was created. It wasn't about what I earned or, oh my God, i'm I'm in front of the TV. It was more for me a about so the friendship.
00:01:47
Speaker
and the collective mindset, especially living in ah cosmopolitan city like London. ah For me, it it was a collectivism and a real friendship. From there, without realizing, i realized, wow, these people that have been my friends along this journey with me are becoming successful.
00:02:07
Speaker
And I'm not doing bad either. So, ooh, look at that.
Collectivism vs. Big City Isolation
00:02:10
Speaker
We can support each other. So, networking is a key point, but Like you said, if it's sincerely and genuinely through like friendship and the passion for the craft, of course, when you create something together with somebody that you like and get along with, mean, how wonderful is that?
00:02:32
Speaker
I was just thinking it's so true because, like you say, it's through connection that you create really beautiful things that make other people feel.
00:02:43
Speaker
That lift other people up. It's almost like a communal effort, right? So that everyone supports each other. And it might sound a little, you know, like hippie in a way when you say it like, oh, no, let's just everyone help each other. But it is like how you prosper, right? Right.
00:03:01
Speaker
through connection, through network, you can't really grow in life on your own. You need people, whether it's a community. You can't do it on your own.
00:03:13
Speaker
We humans are mammals. We should be in a pack. I don't want to blame technology. I like technology. But the more we develop, the more we start drifting away from the pack culture, walking in a pack culture and That is not organically created for us.
00:03:31
Speaker
Depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, all these things, really like the core of them come from loneliness. And being able to say, i am lonely, I feel lonely is a very vulnerable place and it's very hard to do so.
00:03:49
Speaker
When we are not walking together, when we're not doing something together, when we ah drift away from collectivism, it's very hard to be happy to start with, be fulfilled and also be successful. Like by success, I mean, get satisfied from the things you do and the things you create for this world.
00:04:10
Speaker
So yeah, collectivism is the core of, I think, feeling fulfilled in this life because that's, what we are and who we are. And that's the type of mammals we are.
00:04:23
Speaker
And also I was thinking, because in big places, right, you can be around people. So it's not like you're always alone, but you can still feel lonely because you you need A real connection with people.
00:04:37
Speaker
Let's say if you're feeling empty because you're not within a community, superficial connection is not going to fulfill that gap. It's not going it's not going to fill it up. You you need the real deal.
Work-Life Joy and Passion-Driven Career
00:04:50
Speaker
Nothing else will do. You're absolutely right. Genuine, real connections fade away in big cities because big cities are difficult. When I, for example, first arrived to London, i had a lot of, like, I still have a lot of empathy empathy and I really tried hard to, like, not lose it.
00:05:07
Speaker
People get desensitized, like, not, they lose their sensitivity, they lose their empathy because they go through so many hardships.
00:05:18
Speaker
And then the the capitalist system, you have to make money. You have to work. You have to do this. You have to do that. Success, bla blah, blah, blah. But in order to do that, you need to step the ladder. Don't think of everyone. Focus on yourself. It's all about you.
00:05:32
Speaker
That's that mindset. People become like, okay, you know what? I've been through it. ah can't think of us any um and anyone else. I have to put myself first. This is a difficult city.
00:05:43
Speaker
This is dangerous. Like our fight and flight intuition kicks in. Like we lose that core value that makes us a human in big cities, which is empathy and feeling for one another because we are exposed to too many things in order to survive here.
00:06:04
Speaker
So, for example, we end up crying. God knows how many times I cried byby myself. Oh my God, this is so difficult. So i so when I start to see somebody crying, after crying a thousand times myself, I'm like, oh, it's all right, you know.
00:06:23
Speaker
oh Obviously, I'm not like that, but that's how we lose our sensitivity. Things that shouldn't be normal become normalized. That's why traveling is amazing if you have the means for it.
00:06:37
Speaker
ah Coming out, stepping out of that stimulation and, you know, looking from far away. i mean, that's what I try to do because if I stay more than three months continuously in London, I start feeling the depressed and I found a trick to, you know, even it out, like,
00:06:53
Speaker
go away to the nature, be quiet, be with myself, and then come back so I can stay human. With your work, what you started, being able to have that freedom and also having an agency that lifts people up, what was that journey like for you?
00:07:10
Speaker
I had a vision. i was always very aware about what life was. I was always aware like we are born, we have one shot and we will die. And I do not have many expectation of heaven and hell or or whatever happens after I die.
00:07:25
Speaker
So if ah if there's something there, boom, Bob's your uncle bonus. If there's nothing there, I already accepted it. So I thought like in this limited lifespan I have, I looked at the people around me and I said, I'm not going to be working all my life until my body is outworn.
00:07:46
Speaker
I stopped working and I cannot even enjoy life properly So I thought even when remote working wasn't a thing, my vision was one day I want to be able to sip on my coconut somewhere by the beach while I have my phone in my hand or any device in my hand and do something I like to do.
00:08:09
Speaker
That does not feel like work. Money for me is really not, it never was like a target. For me, I knew that when I do something that I like to do, a life resource will come from it.
00:08:22
Speaker
Like, honestly, I'm that romantic and I'm not even joking. Yeah. So I work towards that when it comes to networking. I did a lot of free work.
00:08:32
Speaker
I was poor, so poor in London for a few years at the beginning, you know. it was just difficult. Like I kept pushing, pushing because I thought before I hit 40, you know, before I hit 35, I always kept aiming.
00:08:47
Speaker
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do It's going happen. It's going to happen. And I was also looking for what do I like to do. Receiving therapy is like a luxury. I think everyone should be able to like, you know, receive therapy.
00:08:59
Speaker
I think it's a wonderful thing. And I worked on myself just to understand who I am so I can understand my desires and what I can do the best.
Influence of Self-Worth and Parenting
00:09:08
Speaker
Because everyone can do something very good in this world.
00:09:11
Speaker
I believe if the people find what they can do very good in this world, that's when they can like contribute to the world and I think my talent is I connect people and create cool stuff I just like I just like social interactions i love people I love friendship I love sharing I created my agency out of the need we were actors with no spotlight and no proper showreel And there was a lot of us. We were all talented.
00:09:39
Speaker
One day I just applied so much to jobs and agents weren't taking us. I said, I started helping my friends. I started getting jobs. I started getting my friends jobs. And then I started, wait a minute, let me charge some commission because like, this is some hard work I'm putting in.
00:09:56
Speaker
Like, wouldn't you mind? Would you mind giving me 10% if I get you this job? Yeah. Because like I really need to pay my rent. It came out of necessity. And that's where I was like, oh, wow, I really like what I do.
00:10:07
Speaker
And then I was like, wait a minute. this vision This vision I had of being able to sit my coconut on the beach and working, this is it. This is like my baby. like I love diversity. My one aim in this world is, if I can, is to bring people together.
00:10:21
Speaker
make like Show how beautiful we are in one harmony from every race, color, ethnicity, everything. And then I love creative work and I love to help people and I love to help myself. So my agency just bloomed from there. And it's probably one of the best things that happened to me, I think.
00:10:39
Speaker
You know what why I really like to ask this question? Because you must know yourself. There is this idea that freedom sometimes comes from a privilege.
00:10:51
Speaker
And I want to show people that it doesn't, that you can create it yourself. Yes, it's all about what you think that you are worth.
00:11:02
Speaker
It's self-worth. If you believe that you are worth the freedom, and what is freedom to you? Because it's what you've been taught. Life, the way we observe is...
00:11:14
Speaker
the way our experiences in life. And not everybody is fortunate enough to have like a loving mother like I did. My mom was a literature teacher. She showed me that I'm capable of doing anything that is in my heart.
00:11:29
Speaker
I should spread my wings and and be free. She never imposed anything on me. Her riches were inside. She poured me so much love that my self-worth always has been high.
00:11:41
Speaker
Not everybody is fortunate to receive that love. Or sometimes you
Creating Privilege and Generational Healing
00:11:46
Speaker
don't receive that love and you don't have those experiences, but you know, something happens and something clicks and you're like, wait a minute, I can get more in this life. Look at that that person.
00:11:56
Speaker
That's why influencers, like if they influence in the right way, are very useful. I'm not an influencer. I never think I will be one, but I would love to influence people in that way.
00:12:09
Speaker
Look, maybe you haven't been fortunate enough to receive the love I have received or to receive a guardian like my one that said, spread your wings. and you know You want to do music? Let me put to you in music school. You want to do dance? Let me put you in dance school.
00:12:24
Speaker
Look at me. I um might not make make a lot of money, but I'm at the beach, sipping on my coconut, on my phone, trying to do something I like to do.
00:12:36
Speaker
that That is freedom. It's possible. You just have to believe in yourself and and believe that you are worth it. These are very cliche sentences, but you have to believe I'm worth to be at the beach. This is possible. I should be in a rooftop bar, you know, working on my laptop, wherever you think is a happy place for you.
00:12:58
Speaker
But the moment you start believing that you are worth it and the moment you you see examples of people that are doing it and you actually resonate with them, like, oh, I also come from like not a very you know wealthy background, but look at her. She's done it.
00:13:14
Speaker
Let me try it myself as well. You know we really don't have to come from a privileged place. You can create your own privilege by just staying authentic but having self-worth and having faith.
00:13:28
Speaker
My mother always said, as long as you have faith, everything is possible. You might lose everything in life, but do not lose your faith. Do not lose the belief in yourself.
00:13:39
Speaker
Everyone's purpose in life is different. Some people might never get to a point where they even start to figure their own purpose out because of xyz but again like you said it's not all about money one person's purpose might be to have this beautiful life where they're enjoying the sunset every day and the sunrise on the beach Really being true to themselves, really connected to who they are and really grounded in that moment.
00:14:09
Speaker
And another person's purpose might be something entirely different. But if you don't create that space for yourself to figure it out, you'll never know. The search for oneself is ah precious journey.
00:14:23
Speaker
Search for like your background, who is your great grandparents, which lands were they born? Where does your ethnicity come from? Look at your father, what traumas he had, your mother, what traumas she had, how that might have passed through you through generational trauma.
00:14:41
Speaker
how that affects you, like, you know, when you heal that bit, what comes out of you? When you hear that music, when you smell that smell, finding yourself is really like figuring out these little bits.
00:14:53
Speaker
And then once you get the puzzle together, boom, you bloom. That's like
Journey of Self-Discovery and True Purpose
00:14:58
Speaker
authenticity. It's very interesting what you're saying about the generational almost you know tree trunk, how everyone is a part of that tree.
00:15:08
Speaker
And actually, i don't think I've put enough thought into that kind of background and whether the trauma has been carried like when it comes to generational lack mentality in and my background.
00:15:22
Speaker
Well, that's pretty obvious, but I feel like perhaps you're right and it's quite important to look back and see what's been happening back there and how it's carried over to where we are today.
00:15:37
Speaker
think about it. If I'm a worried mother, every day I'm thinking like, oh my God, something bad is going to happen. Something bad is, and I have a child and that child, what does a child, how does a child learn? a child mirrors from the mother, from the father.
00:15:50
Speaker
So if my child looks at me every day, oh my God, something bad, that child is going to grow up. Oh my God, something bad is going to happen. If my great grandmother was a woman like that, did that to her daughter, than her mother to her daughter. And mine is going to go like that.
00:16:04
Speaker
So somebody has to catch it somewhere. And that's breaking that generational curse. Like if I decide, wait a minute, oh my God, something bad is going to happen, but something bad doesn't happen. um Maybe there's a little problem here.
00:16:19
Speaker
Let me look back what these babushkas have done. yi yi, why am I carrying that? Nothing bad is happening in my life. I mean, she has gone through war maybe. Something bad happened in your life.
00:16:32
Speaker
But I'm okay. Why am I carrying that? It's so heavy. Let it go, you know. So that's like healing. Maybe some great-grandfather has cheated on some great-grandmother, so she started hating on men, so that passed to the daughter. Then the daughter passed on to her daughter. And why do I hate men?
00:16:51
Speaker
Men haven't been bad to me. These little like things that happened to our guardians before us, when we don't realize them, we don't become self-aware. We carry that along with our own traumas and it's very heavy. And that's also like another thing that causes a lot of depression.
00:17:08
Speaker
Everything is okay and suddenly you feel sad. for example. You can't feel like peaceful in that moment. um That's because like you're carrying all that luggage on your back without realizing.
00:17:21
Speaker
And the only way to solve that is sometimes just to um sir observe yourself, be quiet, observe what's around you, and break that mirror that you mirrored and be like, wow, she was or he was doing that?
00:17:36
Speaker
That's not correct. I do that too. Oh, that's... And then once you understand it, that's it. That little thing in your brain is decoded now. like You're free from that.
00:17:49
Speaker
It's almost like an ancestral curse, right? Because you wouldn't think about it. you know Sometimes you'd be like, I might have an issue, but it's my issue.
00:18:00
Speaker
It wouldn't go as far as thinking about your ancestors anymore. But it goes through like a little thread. It goes through and it sweeps through. It's so subtle that it needs a lot of awareness and actual look back.
00:18:16
Speaker
Decoding. Why are we so different and why do we go and do things differently? Why do we react to things differently that happen to us? It's not like it's a bad thing, right? It's it's what it is.
00:18:29
Speaker
And that's just the the base ground. It's what it is. But how we go from that point onward, how we build our lives is where we build ourselves and our message and our ah stamp on the world.
00:18:44
Speaker
I always look at, do I smile more ah do i cry more? I look at it very simple and I follow the path that makes me smile more. And I let go of the things that make me cry more. And if I can't let go, I'm like, why am I stuck here?
00:19:01
Speaker
What is it? Sometimes it's like a Da Vinci code, you know, you have to go really big, deep down. It's all about like following the path that makes you smile more. For me, at least. Everyone's expectations from life, experiences, their desires, their aims, targets are different. I respect everyone.
00:19:19
Speaker
you know what, we are all equal. We come to this world. Nobody is the owner of this world. We're just like simple mammals that happen to have more thinking ability. And we're going to die. If you don't have a purpose, that's okay too. Like you do really do not need a purpose. Like, you know, sometimes if you just breathe air, eat food, and not hurt anyone and just live simple, that's also, I think, a very good achievement because we are very imposed like You must do something. um Not everyone has. I have it, but ABC doesn't have it.
00:19:52
Speaker
And that's perfectly fine. Having a purpose helps boost more serotonin. And also it's satisfying. If I had a magic stick and I could actually change something and that was a working magic stick, I would remove racism.
00:20:08
Speaker
I could make that my purpose. And that would really satisfy me. And like the day I close my eyes, I'll be like, ah, this is such a nice bye-bye. When you do have a purpose, and if you do have a purpose, then nothing else will do.
00:20:22
Speaker
And it's something I'm realizing myself. If you're called to something, nothing else will do. Nothing else will do. Purposes can also change with experiences. I lost my uncle, for example, a few weeks ago, and I i saw his last moments.
00:20:38
Speaker
And I never saw a dying person before in life. I really looked at that moment and I tried to observe and I realized how simple life is. Purposes can shift. And because also when you put yourself that purpose, it has to be, has to be, and it doesn't happen, you put like unnecessary failure on yourself as well.
00:20:57
Speaker
So I always wanted to be an actress before and be famous and all that. And then I'm like, that's just a desire. It's not a purpose. It's not purpose.
Simplicity and Finding Happiness
00:21:07
Speaker
And actually, if anything, a lot of people could spend their whole lives driven by their desire and not ever discovering their true purpose because desire then masks everything so that's all you see and that's all you go for that's why there's like this drive for money and more money and more steps along the ladder professionally so like your true purpose is something you need to really really create space for to see and your soul wants this
00:21:44
Speaker
That's the desire that masks the purpose. That's such a nice way looking at it. As you said, if you find it, that deep, deep, deep, deep deep deep deep deep purpose. But then I also think if you don't find it, it's okay as well.
00:21:58
Speaker
Just try to make the most of life. you know if you're If you're happy doing what you do and there's not much, it's fine. Don't, like, torture yourself. My perspective to happiness changed lately.
00:22:11
Speaker
If I managed to go through a whole day without feeling miserable, feeling down, or, like, I'm kind of in a good, you know, hi, oh, what a nice day, stretch, you know, oh, let me have some breakfast, yum, yum, yum, oh, not kiss boyfriend.
00:22:28
Speaker
If my day goes like this, move. I take it. I never appreciated these things. And I always had that desirable side of myself.
00:22:40
Speaker
And I lived really fast, full of desire and hedonistic twenties, like in until I was 30. And that also caused a lot of pain, lot of mistakes, a lot of chaotic in my life.
00:22:54
Speaker
To the point I one day was like, and enough. I want silence. I want peace. I don't want crying. I don't want drama anymore. I think I completed my pain endurance ah limits.
00:23:09
Speaker
And it's like sufo mato in acting. Like you you go, yeah something tragic happens. You cry, you cry, you cry, you cry. And at one point you empty it by crying. And if you start keep going, it turns into laughter.
00:23:23
Speaker
Yeah. You laugh about your tragedy.
00:23:29
Speaker
For me, I just filled it up, filled it up, all these experiences. And I learned because mistakes, bad experiences teach you. And then you're not learning only by good things and awareness and therapy. You're also learning about falling, making stupid mistakes, wrong choices. And then if you're clever enough, you don't do it three times. You only do it two times.
00:23:52
Speaker
And then at the third time, you're like, oh, this hurts. I realize sometimes I have a bad thought comes in my mind. And I'm thinking, if I dwell on this right now, that's going to ruin my day.
00:24:06
Speaker
I don't want to let it go, though. But I'm allowing myself to let it go because... I put a nice song on, literally. I put something that makes me, I put some reggae on or like some nice music that makes me happy. It lifts me up.
00:24:21
Speaker
And then I start like, you know, start going into my daily routine. A daily routine I think is really important. Even like you don't have to live in one place to have that daily routine. Like your body clock goes in ah in a nice circle.
00:24:35
Speaker
And when you do that, you also feel start feeling safe. Like, oh, I know what I'm doing tomorrow because humans need to know what they're doing. That's how we are programmed. So I'm going to wake up.
00:24:46
Speaker
we know We like the predictable. I'm going to eat an apple. Eat a drink, a glass of water. Oh, some bad talk. Okay, okay. I solved you already. You can leave now. going put some music on.
00:24:56
Speaker
Boom. And then I'm going to continue because I am worth not to suffer. I love myself. Yes, this XYZ hurt me, said this to me, which it was a person I liked, but Boo you.
00:25:11
Speaker
I'm not going to dwell on that. You know we of my time. I'm going to wake up, watch the sun rise, and I'm going to continue my day blocking negative thoughts, ah not allowing them to enter, and then shifting your thought pattern to more positivity and to the daily routine focusing on what do I want to What do i want to achieve for my day?
00:25:37
Speaker
You need to have some space to realize that for yourself. Because if there's so much noise around, you can't think clearly, right? You can't. So you need like a bit of peace. So even in cities, let's say you can't leave a city.
00:25:52
Speaker
You can go to the park and you can just remove music, remove distraction. Have a moment to yourself and not do anything and see like what comes up.
00:26:03
Speaker
When you discover yourself, like I said, by like figuring out where you come from, what you like, all these little things and that those puzzles come together, ah you start realizing what you get joy from.
00:26:15
Speaker
Some people get joy from canoeing, being in the water. you know Some people like being in the forest. Some people like dancing.
00:26:28
Speaker
When you discover yourself and you surround yourself by what you figured out that you are and you like, and you find yourself in in the right environments and the right places, you automatically become happy and satisfied.
00:26:43
Speaker
I love the beach and the sea and the coast. Why? Because my grandfather had a little boutique hotel in Marmaris. And every summer I spent it as a kid there three months, almost.
00:26:54
Speaker
I love organic places and natural places because my mom's side is from Cappadocia. So having the beach and growing up by the beach, I love the city as well.
00:27:05
Speaker
i can't be without the city, so I include that in my life too. like My base is the city. I go to the coastal towns. like I was here for maybe this summer. I came here three, four times.
00:27:18
Speaker
And in the winter, my partner is African. His mom lives in Abidjan, Ivory Coast. Lovely place. Yes. Yes, I found a warm, sunny person.
00:27:29
Speaker
And now I can be like in the soils of Africa. Hey! And in the winter, I'm going to have more sun. And sun and sea is what makes me happy. And whatever makes you happy, you should follow literally that path.
00:27:44
Speaker
If your happiness doesn't hurt anyone and it's pure and it's nice, follow it without being afraid. Follow what you like. Figure out what you like and follow. I think that's my motto.
00:27:56
Speaker
Find your
Creating Your Life Story
00:27:57
Speaker
peace. I love that. Over the years, I'm going more and more and in that direction as well, which could be a little mixed with other things that I want.
00:28:07
Speaker
But basically, in my 20s, I was like, I want to be famous. And now I don't want to be famous, actually. But also it's like in your 20s, sometimes you start wanting things because they look cool or because other people have them.
00:28:22
Speaker
And then if you get over the years in touch with yourself, you start liking the things that you actually want and they're actually good for you. And you stop thinking, well, what are other people going to think about me?
00:28:36
Speaker
i had I watched an interview, like an award acceptance from Robbie Williams, the artist. I loved it. He was saying like, thank you to PTSD, to dyslexia, alcoholism, this, that. Thank you all too much. Like, because without you, I wouldn't have been able to make it here.
00:28:52
Speaker
and so We are here today and the people we are today, because of everything we've lived through, experienced, been wanted, had or not had, and all of that combined makes us who we are today.
00:29:08
Speaker
Absolutely. We are our DNA, our experiences. We are what our parents were, all the people that were guardians. We are everything that we're connected to.
00:29:22
Speaker
And that's where we shift the patterns. Like when you start having control, like Oh, I don't want to be connected to you. ah want to be connected to this. Oh, I was connected for 25 years to this.
00:29:34
Speaker
I don't want to be connected to that. I want to be connected to this. You know, when you start having that little bit of um of control in what you want to be resonated and connected and what you want to include in your life and what you want to exclude,
00:29:52
Speaker
That's maturing. That's finding yourself. Think about like in Cappadoca, there's pottery. Like we were that clay. Then we became that shape that the pottery master did. And then the artist came, which is us, that started to draw on those on those potteries. And we draw our story ourselves after once we get a little bit more control.
00:30:17
Speaker
So make your choices wisely. It's such a beautiful message. And also your energy is very calming. ah But I think that's because you're calm. Thank you. know so thank you contagious and that's the nice thing to be contagious calm energy i like some of that it's amazing that's my boyfriend that's my partner chris he says to me when i found you you were like a wild cat people love yourself love one another stop putting hate in this world and fuck racism