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Reconnecting Through Flowers: The Subtle Power They Hold With Stella from @theflowerhabitwithstella
52 Plays3 months ago
In today’s episode, I sit down with Stella from @theflowerhabitwithstella to explore purpose, meaning, and the quiet wisdom of flowers. We discuss why reinvention doesn’t have to wait, how the brain responds to the colours, shapes, and scents of flowers, and the symbolic messages flowers have carried throughout history. Stella shares how different blooms shift our emotions, support our happiness hormones, and the language of flowers that conveys meaning across time. We also talk about facing fear, taking brave steps, and connecting with flowers in a more spiritual, intuitive way—a conversation about courage and the beauty that helps us come back to ourselves.
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Transcript
Introduction to Stella and The Flower Habit
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to Connected with Eva. Joining me today is Stella from The Flower Habit with Stella, a florist and creative who brings art, emotion, and mindfulness into every arrangement she makes.
00:00:14
Speaker
What I love about her work is how it's not just about pretty flowers. It's about connection, storytelling, and soul. We'll dive into her journey, the lessons nature keeps teaching her, and how she's built a business rooted in purpose and beauty.
00:00:30
Speaker
I saw your profile and i was like, there's something that I just feel connected to when I look at it. It feels so warm and cozy and meaningful, what you do.
00:00:43
Speaker
That's so sweet to hear. Thank you so much. Thank you for making me feel a bit better about looking completely stupid, filming myself with a camera, making a bouquet. So no, it means a lot. Thank you very much.
Stella's Career Transition to Floristry
00:00:56
Speaker
I wanted to ask, what drew you to flowers to begin with? I'm going to have to go back a little bit and give some context. By nature, I'm a bit of a creative and I am very outdoorsy.
00:01:07
Speaker
But as life has it, after university, I went to London and I got really into the life there in the sense that i of course, wanted to be independent financially as well.
00:01:20
Speaker
And so I found myself in a recruiting job, which was meant to be sort of temporary, but then somehow ended up in a 10-year career. And I'm pretty sure some other people have found themselves in the exact same situation, maybe not with recruiting, but potentially something else.
00:01:36
Speaker
I got a bit icky and I was trying to find a way to reinvent myself within the same field because at this point, you know, you get your pay rises, you might have had a promotion. You don't want to start from scratch again.
00:01:48
Speaker
You get used to in your new lifestyle, the things that you can afford. You get a bit of a thrill, of course, also out of being good at it because I was. And so I ended up going from recruiting to leadership consulting to doing a business psychology master to then ending up in a scale up as the head of people.
00:02:07
Speaker
Every few years, as you can see, I reinvented myself within the same industry. So I always stuck to HR because with 24, I started at a job in HR.
00:02:18
Speaker
Fairly recently, this spring, i had another one of those walls or those moments.
Finding Passion Through Guidance
00:02:24
Speaker
And this time I thought, okay, hang on a minute, I need some professional help here. And so I spoke to a coach who introduced me to ah interesting concept, which I'm going to struggle with to translate because it's in German. But essentially, it's about finding your resilience versus being in an environment where you're more likely to be more fatigued.
00:02:43
Speaker
ah Basically building an environment of resilience versus living an environment of fatigue where more easily sworn around. And on top of that, a friend of mine, Juliana, gave me this idea to pray a nine-day novena asking St. Joseph to help me find my career purpose or at least some kind of direction because I had just really lost it completely. And somehow that combination, and this is why I'm saying it kind of came really naturally,
00:03:10
Speaker
I found myself spending more time playing around with flowers.
Impact of Flowers on Mental Well-being
00:03:14
Speaker
And then from one day to the next, I became more more into it, more more obsessed with it. Of course, i' everyone likes flowers. Nobody says they don't like them. But I started to really reflect on the reasons why many of us don't have them at all times in our apartments.
00:03:31
Speaker
Personally, I could obviously relate a lot back to myself as a younger person. There is a lack of knowledge, there's a lack of financial abilities, which usually is, again, connected to just not knowing how to do it better, how to do it more affordably.
00:03:46
Speaker
The rest kind of just took off from there. Love that journey. Like you say, when you ask e free everyone, do you like flowers? They'll like, yes, they mean so much to me. You know, when someone gives me, when I give flowers, at the same time,
00:04:00
Speaker
I guess we don't really understand them much. Yeah, there's definitely a lot that's happening in our brains when we see flowers that we're completely unaware of. And I'm super happy to dive into that because, of course, I did start to sort of do my research as well and trying to understand a little more what are the health benefits. I think the one Instagram about the meditation was the one that caught your attention.
00:04:22
Speaker
It's actually quite fascinating. When you see a flower, you also a smell a flower. So it's it's those two senses that really get activated. There's a lot that happens. So firstly, your visual cortex, so basically the prefrontal cortex, which is very much attracted by symmetry.
00:04:39
Speaker
And because petals follow very symmetric patterns and also the Fibonacci sequence, it relaxes our prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part of the brain.
00:04:50
Speaker
At the same time with this relaxation, it also increases our attention networks. And that combination actually improves your
Cultural Significance of Flowers
00:04:58
Speaker
creativity. And then at the same time, you start to release oxytocin and endorphins because you're looking at something pretty.
00:05:05
Speaker
And that's what happens when we look at pretty things. So already just by looking at a flower, you've got, you know, you're more relaxed, you've got your oxytocins, you've got your endorphins. And then when you go back a little more, I would say evolutionary, quite logically, usually when we would see flowers, it meant water and probably also food.
00:05:25
Speaker
Also, this, by the way, also counts for plants and forests and so on. So it's not just flowers. But they basically activate or trigger a dopamine reward, our dopamine reward system, which then obviously gives us a wave of pleasure, again, of calmness, of satisfaction, and so on.
00:05:40
Speaker
Here you are like, completely pumped up with hormones, basically, with happiness hormones, simply by spending a few minutes looking at picking up flowers. And the whole thing continues with your parasympathetic nerve system,
00:05:54
Speaker
that gets activated, meaning your heart rate slows down. Like it's basically the part that is for rest and digest or like feed and breed versus the sympathetic system, which is more about the flight and fight.
00:06:05
Speaker
There's a lot of connections there that our bodies are doing quite naturally without us even realizing. I love that because i think specifically about myself, the joy that a bouquet of flowers brings me.
00:06:20
Speaker
There's also some associations you do with different flowers. And also culturally, right? In certain cultures, you'd be like, these flowers are for these occasions. And they will have this really strong impact on people.
00:06:33
Speaker
due to their associations as well. Like you say, it's the brain and also cultural impact, which is so
Flowers as Emotional Communicators
00:06:40
Speaker
strong. It's fun that you're touching upon this point because it goes back to the ancient Egyptians that we've started to use flowers for different purposes.
00:06:49
Speaker
I think back then it was more about like celebrating the gods or honoring the gods and for funerals. But then when you get to the Greeks and the Romans, it became a thing about status and also affection was started to be shared you know through flowers.
00:07:03
Speaker
And then you go a bit further into the Victorian era, and that's when this language of flowers comes in to the extent where they were writing letters coded letters using flowers because every flower meant something. And sometimes they wanted to share something that they were not allowed to share.
00:07:17
Speaker
So they would use flowers to do that. So there's a whole flower dictionary, basically, what each and every single flower means. For example, white white roses, obviously that's a simple one, is purity. Or you have got daisy, that's like attachment. Jasmine, I think, is about faithfulness.
00:07:32
Speaker
Generally, I think white flowers are actually quite often also used for funerals. So I think a combination of that. And today in society, we use it to a so express so many emotions all the time.
00:07:43
Speaker
i think, for for example, relationships and all that. That's sex so important for people. Sometimes it's so important for them, whether they get flowers or not, that this is breaking the relationship because I'm not getting enough flowers. what What do you express with flowers? I mean, you express care,
00:08:00
Speaker
love Apologies to some extent, but grievance as well. Pity to some extent even, like, oh God, she feels bad. Let's just give her book here, flowers, and she'll be better again.
00:08:11
Speaker
You celebrate with flowers. And then there's this part about gifting, of course, involvedd as well, which is a big big piece in relationships. What has your knowledge about flowers, everything that you've learned, everything that you've researched, what has all that taught you about life and meaning?
Pursuing Joy and Career Change
00:08:29
Speaker
The whole sort of conscious decision to make quite a big shift from going full speed further with the career that I had sort of in mind or had been trying to keep pushing for,
00:08:42
Speaker
versus accepting that maybe there's something completely different and then also just actually just enjoying it and not overthinking it and not questioning it every day, but just really embracing that. And I think it's hard when you're young, but there comes a time when I think one needs to start taking ownership of sort of like the life and the decisions that you make and stop letting others, whether that's society, parents, partners, or just general insecurity,
00:09:08
Speaker
make the decisions for us. I think I never really allowed myself to have a career outside of the corporate office because I didn't know anything else. And most certainly the idea to be ah florist or something around those lines, or maybe to build a career you know out of flowers was not something that I had on my radar in my twenties. It just wasn't there.
00:09:28
Speaker
And so it's really about letting go a little bit For me, that was probably, or that is at the moment, the most impactful part. Talking about career, but what you mentioned there, I remember when I was little, well, not so little, but still at school, my dad was like, you know, why don't you think about becoming dentist?
00:09:49
Speaker
Because that was something that was considered prestigious. Or, you know, there are certain professions that are considered prestigious for people. And then when you're younger, it's not really about what you're good at or what you like, because you might not even have a clue because you're young.
00:10:06
Speaker
It's more, okay, so this is prestigious. So get into that. And this seems like a stable career choice. Or this seems like something that makes sense to unbox yourself.
00:10:18
Speaker
Takes a lot of guts, I think. Completely. i guess you have to be in the right place to do it, maybe to find these guts, maybe not. From a more purpose point of view, I'm feeling the positive outcome of that at the moment. And I'm um just kind of on this wave enjoying it.
00:10:35
Speaker
Do you remember when you started and you completely had to give up your career that you were building for a long time? Was there a fear? Was there maybe confusion, you know, stepping into the unknown?
00:10:49
Speaker
What was happening inside? Well, I think that's where my coach helped. I could speak about these kind of topics. And I guess particularly if you are going through such a big change, I do think talking to a professional who's an expert on MIND and change and how to cope with it is a luxury, of course, but it's quite important, I believe.
00:11:10
Speaker
And so, of course, I had these thoughts and I sometimes found myself swimming where you didn't know in what direction to go into and I was just in this big seat. You need to trust what you feel inside.
00:11:22
Speaker
Nothing is forever. and might be doing this now, but I'm obviously going to check in in three to six months' time. And if I'm still really enjoying it, but I'm not making enough money, or I'm enjoying it and not making any money, or I'm not enjoying it anymore, but I make a lot money, I will do a check-in, right?
00:11:39
Speaker
Then I can decide if I actually miss my previous corporate career and I can just step back into it. Nothing's forever. But the one thing that we do have is a really long career. And I'd rather take a little time out now to figure out if what I have been doing or i what I will be doing is something that I really want to be doing in 30 years' time.
00:12:00
Speaker
And at the moment, I just don't see myself in an office. in that very formal way in 30 years' time, aka myself with 64. So one step at a time, then I guess it's just important to have your check-ins to to feel and then react.
00:12:14
Speaker
It's a societal thing where a lot of the time my joy is not meaningful or my joy doesn't matter because this is my life. And this is like where I'm headed because that's where I started years ago.
00:12:28
Speaker
In some way or form, I mean, I was also one of them. I did do a flower course for a week.
Emotional Revelations in Floral Course
00:12:34
Speaker
I think we were a group of 20. And I was one of the younger ones. Eva, you're going to like like not believe me, but more than 50% of the participants had a full-on mental breakdown at one point during this four-day course.
00:12:48
Speaker
Because, well, probably the impact that flowers have on people and the hormonal explosion that was going on Playing around with these beautiful objects, right, that also smell good and clearly trigger things in our brain.
00:13:05
Speaker
Flower arrangements, it's quite meditative. It's really, really calming. You have to repeat things. It encourages your innovation because you're creating something and so on. so there's a whole and other positive things coming out of actually playing around with flowers, not just being gifted a bouquet or buying a ready-made bouquet from a florist.
00:13:22
Speaker
But these people were crying because i believe they had wanted to, I'm just going to say, be a florist, you know? for probably lot many, many years. And they'd only now in their mid-40s allowed themselves to take those four days of their busy schedule, of their work as a holiday, as I don't know how, to do this and to treat themselves with this, to then only realize that it hit such a sore point inside them that they couldn't even say what they liked the most. One of the ladies so adorable. She really was just
00:13:54
Speaker
crying and i I sat in this course and I thought to myself I don't want to cry with 45 in a flower course really don't want to and I wasn't crying because I think I had already made that decision but you know 10 to 15 years before them they did i mean trying doesn't cost anything it doesn't cost 30 years and so i think it's always better to try than to ignore I guess Absolutely, and it's something I'm learning myself. So when you start and you try things, I feel like one of the reasons why people stop or don't try enough is because obviously trial is messy because you're learning a new thing.
00:14:36
Speaker
You're entering a whole new territory that you have no knowledge
Learning and Perseverance in New Skills
00:14:40
Speaker
of. So that knowledge will be built over time and you'll become better. You'll become more of an expert. But that takes time.
00:14:47
Speaker
So a lot of people, even when I started the podcast, I had no knowledge of editing. Nothing at all. And then I had to learn. And it's always like an improvement. You're getting better and better and better and better. But it could have been a case of, oh, I can't edit, so I'm going to stop doing this.
00:15:07
Speaker
And that's where people fail because they don't persevere long enough. If you want to go out and do your venture, you're not going to say, okay, I don't know how to speak to Oprah Winfell whatever, like some of the big, big celebrities, right?
00:15:20
Speaker
You start small. And I think that's the clue as well. And it can start as a hobby, but it's always good to to start somewhere. And then you become better and then you learn.
00:15:30
Speaker
Has your perception about how flower status changed at all in regards to the impact of it has on people that you see, what is something that surprises you or fascinates you the most?
00:15:45
Speaker
I get to hear things like what you said in the very beginning, which I think is so wonderful, not just because I can take it as a compliment, but because it's a confirmation of the impact that flowers have.
00:15:58
Speaker
As much as you're unique, I guess that part is not so unique in the sense that many many people probably react the exact same way. And so, although they might not know yet, right, and that opens a whole door of opportunities and sort of like creates a purpose and a task there for me to say, i can help so many more people really understand how they can add just by adding a tiny little routine into their work.
00:16:26
Speaker
how they can make their whole week or day just so much better. And through the account, the comments I'm getting and the tags I'm now receiving of people sending me pictures of flowers that I think otherwise they wouldn't have seen.
00:16:41
Speaker
And so I think what I'm noticing is that bringing them at sort of front of mind is helping others ah see them also outside of, of course, the Instagram account, but actually more on their day-to-day life.
00:16:55
Speaker
And it's always connected with the positive feeling, with a positive thought. You mentioned before how flowers are very meditative.
Introduction to Ikebana
00:17:04
Speaker
Is there a particular way that we can connect to them more mindfully and more spiritually?
00:17:10
Speaker
So I don't know if you've heard about Ikebana. It's a Japanese form of arranging flowers. It was started by monks in Japan, and they used it as a form of meditation.
00:17:21
Speaker
It really originates from this a tool for meditation. And then it slowly made its way into the households and the women started doing it. But if you really want to sort of use flower arranging in a fairly professional way to enter the meditative space, Ikebana would be one form in art.
00:17:43
Speaker
It's really an art of flower arrangements. that I would suggest. It's highly complicated in the sense that it's actually really easy, but then it's a bit like an abstract painting, right? We can all make a cut in the middle of a canvas and say, I'm done.
00:17:59
Speaker
But then actually, um to turn it into a multimillion dollar a painting requires a bit more precision and practice. and The same goes for Ikebana where you use very little material and it's always about how you put it together it to create movement, negative space.
00:18:18
Speaker
and asymmetry. And there's a certain amount of rules. There's a certain way in which you're cutting the flowers. There are rules of proportions. There are rules of arrangements. They're using this tool called a kensan or called frog in English also, ah where you basically, it has these spikes and you just like poke the flower on it.
00:18:37
Speaker
So it holds itself. And there's a whole theory about the vases. And the playing of the water and you want to see the water because there's meaning and all these kind of things. So it's very spiritual and like incredibly meditative and was invented by the monks in in Japan.
00:18:51
Speaker
Talking about meditation, right? There's the meditation that's, you know, like where you're quiet and, you know, you're breathing. But there's also many things that you can do that are meditative.
00:19:03
Speaker
walking nature surrounded by flowers one thing greenery which has this natural positive effect on our brain some people might struggle with the concept of you know of the more traditional meditation so then there are so many things that they can do that are super accessible walking, being close to water, arranging flowers that have that incredibly positive effect on our brain or on our mood.
00:19:32
Speaker
and Almost like they shift our perceptions of things. That shouldn't be difficult to start doing. And it will have a nice positive impact on your brain.
00:19:43
Speaker
Completely. And I think the part that people shy away from to do it wrong, to make a mistake. And the reality is you can't make mistakes with flowers. I mean, the worst that can happen is that you break it and then you put it in a smaller vase.
00:19:57
Speaker
It's really the most forgiving tool to play with. When you look at it, you see the process that you went through and maybe the struggle that you went through and can get some joy out of that. So...
00:20:08
Speaker
It's a very easy, as you said, easy way to start a routine a habit that can give you the reward of like relaxation. And then frankly speaking, nice bookie in the house, which is also something pretty to look at.
00:20:21
Speaker
We always have a lot of flowers in our house because, again, everybody loves flowers. But when it comes to your own process of creation of arrangements, how do you find inspiration?
00:20:32
Speaker
ah love that question. So I try and get inspired by nature because my whole, I guess, philosophy is a bit about having flowers at home, not for a gazillion euros, but actually making it work with the budget that you have, no matter how small.
00:20:48
Speaker
I love going into parks and just like picking up a few leaves or branches or a couple of flowers as well. And then essentially bringing that piece of nature, that park back inside my home.
00:21:01
Speaker
And then probably you'll have to go to the store and get yourself two or three, you know, flowers, but you don't need to buy 20. And so what it also allows you to do is to be quite seasonal because also the park changes every season.
00:21:15
Speaker
So it's different in June, July, August, May, up to September, October, even now in November, you can find beautiful, like sort of semi-dying flowers. But many of them, or the seeds actually, they change shape quite significantly. And suddenly, I don't know, half of it is cloud of what looks like a foam covering them. And you're like, where's that coming from? That wasn't there three months ago.
00:21:37
Speaker
My inspiration comes from nature, from seasons, It's not about perfection. It's really more about being free and and trying out and not being afraid. love that. I mean, I have to say autumn is my favorite season in terms of colors, what nature has to give us in terms of colors.
00:21:56
Speaker
It's so inspiring to just walk and look at all the the reds and the browns and the yellows. I'm just looking at them outside the window as well. It's so beautiful and it's so rich in color.
00:22:08
Speaker
It's my favorite season. I couldn't agree more. I think it's so fun. The trees turn into the flowers. It's actually unbelievable. We're talking about the this whole power of you know if flowers of nature.
00:22:19
Speaker
you know When you actually observe what's happening around you, by observing, you're also interacting with
Nature's Role in Mental Health
00:22:25
Speaker
it. I feel like a lot of us sometimes, especially when it comes to our Western society, which is something I talk about quite a lot, there's a big disassociation from our origin, which is nature.
00:22:36
Speaker
And something like that pulls you back into that natural space of belonging. and wrote a bit of a manifesto not too long ago. i said, life begins and ends in nature and being connected with nature makes us feel alive. We have to, but the problem is 5 billion people will soon live in cities. And I think at least 40% of these don't have access to enough green space.
00:23:03
Speaker
And so this disconnect with nature and flowers and basically just our environment, the the place where we came from. Remember all these things I said about like what trees and flowers give us in terms of dopamine, oxytocins.
00:23:17
Speaker
Where do we get that from today? you know Do we get it from our Instagram scrolling? Do we get it from Venus watching Netflix? Do we somehow try and compensate for this lack of joy that we're receiving from our world outside there?
00:23:31
Speaker
because we simply don't have access to it. And so we need to get it from somewhere else. Yeah, I truly believe that bringing more flowers into people's homes again, or but trees or whatever whatever it is, will will have a huge impact on like the mental health of whole societies or cities, frankly speaking.
00:23:46
Speaker
And I do believe that lots of city planning puts a much bigger focus now again on turning buildings green, because I think we're yeah we're starting to realize the negative impact of of the lack of it.
00:23:58
Speaker
because i feel like everyone has favorite flowers. If your favorite flower could speak, what wisdom would it share with you?
Personal Connection to Hydrangeas
00:24:08
Speaker
And what would it say about you as a person?
00:24:11
Speaker
i don't know if it's my favorite flower, but i really like hydrangeas because they just last so long and they're so loyal. And until now, they're still there, you know, changing colors, each and every one on the same bush slightly differently, still blooming, still making the entrance of your house, your garden, whatever look great. And then if you do cut them at the right time, they'll dry perfectly and they'll still be there like shining.
00:24:38
Speaker
I also find them quite stunning, generally speaking, and that there's such a nice variety in terms of colors and so on. But I guess that would be my flower. What the hydrangea would say to me is probably, I don't know, I guess, signs of resilience, of beauty, but beauty ages, and it doesn't really go away. like There's so much in there that's just, I guess, really sort of wise and yeah can be interpreted depending on the day that you look at it right and whatever you need in that moment.
00:25:08
Speaker
you can probably read off it and take from it. I love that. It's there for you in every situation. And that's so beautiful. It's with like faith. There for you and you get out of it whatever you need in that one moment.
00:25:23
Speaker
And the same sentence will mean 10 different things to 10 different people because each person needs something slightly different. And it's right there. And the same goes for flowers. Again, it goes back to we're gifting flowers to say sorry.
00:25:35
Speaker
And we could give the same exact bouquet to say, I love you. On the same exact bouquet to say, I'm sorry for your loss, not like in an apologetic way, you know? So they say what you want to hear.