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The Moments That Shape Us — Nostalgia, Creativity & Choice With Chloe Bond
68 Plays2 months ago
In today's cosy catch-up episode, I’m joined by makeup artist Chloe Bond, who I met on a shoot about a year and a half ago. We talk about everything from old memories (hello first computers and everyone's original favourite Solitaire), to creativity overload, comfort zones, and choosing change — even when it feels scary.
We chat about what it’s really like working in the bridal industry, the December feeling of asking 'have I done enough?', and the important realisation that what you’re not changing is actually what you’re choosing.
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Transcript
Introduction to Chloe Bond
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to Connected with Eva. Today's guest is an absolute rare sunshine in the world of makeup and creative artistry. She's a brilliantly talented makeup artist whose work spans media, editorial, TV and film.
00:00:14
Speaker
And she somehow still finds time to be a proud dogma and an all-around phenomenal human being. The wonderful Chloe Bond, a woman with a warm heart, a sharp creative eye and the kind of energy that makes every room instantly brighter.
00:00:29
Speaker
I feel like I'm doing so many things and at the same time almost I'm doing nothing at all. Yeah, I kind of feel the same. and start up that ah Well, this year I've had such a change up with things. So leaving bridal behind, it's just changed the flow of my work. Because I just checked your website to do a little intro and I just said, I liked the message there. I know. And that's another thing. It's like, oh God, I need to do that. You have to delegate. I was thinking about that word because there's nothing for me to delegate because I'd edit everything.
00:01:02
Speaker
was like, I don't really need to use that word much myself. Bless It's exciting though.
Eva's Motivation for Podcasting
00:01:09
Speaker
What made you start the podcast? I was feeling lonely. i feel like you can't just model, right?
00:01:14
Speaker
You have to do something that feels quite soulful and meaningful because also modeling is so result-based. So like you're either getting work or you're not getting work and there's literally nothing you can do about that.
00:01:27
Speaker
And then I went to this place and I had a chat with some lovely ladies and it just came to me and I was like, this is the perfect thing for me. And also because I'm always curious, overthinking everything, it kind of fits my personality so well. So it's been like two and a half years since we met at that lovely shoot.
00:01:48
Speaker
I know. And this week I'm shooting with them again. that'll be nice. Yeah. It was so funny because we gelled so well and then we didn't see each other again.
00:01:59
Speaker
I mean, to be honest, even if you live in London, it's like far sometimes. And you're like, oh no, you're South London, I'm North London, we'll never see each other ever. Let alone outside of London. I know exactly, let alone London and Devon.
00:02:12
Speaker
But yeah, it's been lovely to stay in touch though, like because it's just nice to meet other people that are in that creative zone that have got the same type of attitude. Hitting on what you said before, which was like, you need something else. In the world, that i mean, makeup artistry, hair, you know, essentially is all superficial. You're only creating an image that people want to see.
00:02:33
Speaker
You know, there's no room for that, like, proper soulful connection, really. I do get it. Yeah, you definitely have to have, like, an outlet of, you know, staying connected to something that's just a bit bigger and a bit deeper than just the superficial.
Chloe's Career Shift During the Pandemic
00:02:50
Speaker
What made you just stop doing Brighton?
00:02:52
Speaker
To be honest with you, the bridal aspect of my work, I really dove into that when the pandemic hit. So the pandemic hit and I was working purely in production and tv and film was where I was going. That's what I was doing. And editorial, that was what I was doing. And then the pandemic hit and it was like, oh, what do we do now?
00:03:13
Speaker
Because everything stopped. Obviously, I came home and house renovation was underway as well. So that was all going on in the background. And I just thought, well, I don't know how long this is going to last. And I stuck it out. ah Like other people, you know, you stuck it out for like three, four months, didn't you? were Like, it's going to be fine. It's all going to blow over. It'll all be fine. And then we sort of hit the six month mark and I sort of thought things aren't getting any better. So I'm going to have to make a plan going forward.
00:03:42
Speaker
So it was really difficult to get yourself back on to productions and things because they wanted so much testing. You know, like we just discussed, coming from Devon, there's nowhere locally. Our nearest studios are Bottle Yard Studios in Bristol. So in order to travel out of here, to get to there, i had to test every single time I had to leave the region.
00:04:02
Speaker
It wasn't a feasible way
Challenges in the Bridal Industry
00:04:04
Speaker
to work. As stuff started opening up, it was like well bridal seems like a good choice because I'm local do it and also there was a huge backlog of course of weddings because they'd all been cancelled as well so it was like well I'm kind of winning there so I'm definitely going to have business coming through the wedding industry is a strange place to be it's almost like once you're in it's hard to walk away from I think everybody thinks oh what a lovely day you have you get up and then you can go home at lunchtime and the rest of the day is your own you know See, I wouldn't think that because I know how stressful weddings are. Not that I've ever been married. I've only been to maybe two weddings in my life. And I still know they're super stressful. Also because it's someone's one big day in their life. life So the amount of pressure for everyone involved.
00:04:48
Speaker
ah yeah, as a supplier, you have to be turning up with energy that matches that bridal party for their wedding morning. you know so like So many aspects of your personality come into that. like You have to have quite strong interpersonal skills if you're in the wedding industry. I don't think you can get away with being anywhere near two-dimensional. You need to be so aware of like who you're involved with because you might have one bridal party that reminds you so much of your friends and you've got so much in common with them. But then you might get another bridal party that is not really on that same vibe. So you have to adjust and move around and make sure that you're fitting in with that day. Because like said, it's their special day. So you want to make them feel as comfortable as possible. So I would say that's probably a key takeaway for anybody working in the wedding industry. But being in it is...
00:05:37
Speaker
I mean, it's an interesting place to be because it is more stressful than people realise because of all of those aspects. I think anybody working, so whether you're hair and makeup, cake, flowers, whatever you're doing, you have to be doing your best work all of the time. Not that you don't for anything else, but like the pressure is more intense. You don't want anything to go wrong because you don't want to be that supplier that adds stress to the day. In normal things, you have some days where you're not absolutely 100%. And then that will be like extremely noticeable in that field.
00:06:12
Speaker
I reckon that's probably one of the hardest things. And it's ah what a lot of suppliers talk about, especially when you're the front-facing. So hair, makeup, photography, those people that you're you're actually you've actually got a connection with on the wedding day.
00:06:28
Speaker
There isn't much room for being anything other than your best self all of the time.
Community Support Among Makeup Artists
00:06:33
Speaker
So that can be difficult if you've got something else going on or you've got other stresses going on. That can be quite difficult.
00:06:39
Speaker
I think it's and underestimated how much stress it can cause, like and anxiety it can cause certain people on a wedding morning. I hear from girls all the time that I'm part of a makeup artist group and lot of the feelings around it are that, you know, I've got this going on, but i can't I can't take that with me to work today. So I'm just voicing it on this group here now because, you know, i hope I'm not feeling alone kind of thing, which is really nice, actually, because other people can chime in and say, yep, we've all been there, but just go, you know, do what you normally do and then get in the car and get yourself home and go back to bed. you're going like you said you're going into an environment where everybody is like so happy and so loud and out there because it's obviously their wedding if i go to a shoot i mean i don't have to be sociable most of the time i am but it's not like it's a requirement it's just me but i don't have to be i can go and be quiet if anything when i'm sociable people are like oh wow okay so you know
00:07:36
Speaker
Yeah, which is what made you different, actually, on the shoots. I've probably connected with, like, I would say two or three models, yeah one of them being you, because of energy. And going back to what we said, because a lot of the time, if it's shooting locally, you guys have travelled, you're tired. So I totally understand, you know, working with models and they just want to get it done and they know what they're doing and that's fine. But it's really nice when you actually meet someone and they're just, like, happy to be there and they want to connect and chat and it's is's just really nice.
00:08:04
Speaker
know, it was such a nice vibe. Oh, it was good, it wasn't it? You were like one of the few makeup artists I connected with. Still haven't met in person since then. oh I've got to come to London. lich I've got to plan it next year, even just to see you and hang out and we'll go for dinner.
00:08:20
Speaker
Oh, yes, please. Because now it's December, I saw an ad for a museum that shows Christmas history in the home decor. I love anything Christmassy. I know, I saw it and I took a picture in pu and probably not going to see it because that's what happens now. Yeah, I know.
00:08:36
Speaker
The amount of screenshots on my phone of events and things. And ah and then I look at it and I'm like, oh, that's gone. No, there's so many things. So many things. I wanted to go see the snowman live.
00:08:48
Speaker
And then me and my mom booked Christmas lunch for that day. So that's not happening now. It's funny though, because I feel like December, there is a lot of... Sometimes maybe pressure because it's Christmas, right? So you have this pressure to have the best time, to be very sociable, to really enjoy yourself.
00:09:05
Speaker
And while i I really, really enjoy December because it's basically my favorite time in London, there is that feeling, right? Have I done enough Christmas stuff? I feel like it's a pressure thing.
00:09:16
Speaker
Definitely. It's just bigger than ever, isn't it? You know, we've kind of followed America in that kind of trend-led holiday spirit thing. So we go from Halloween and then all of a sudden we jump straight into Christmas and it's quite surprising how quickly things come around. And then but you go from Christmas and then it's a new year, get January blues and then all of a sudden it's Valentine's Day and then it's Valentine's Day and then it's Easter.
00:09:38
Speaker
It seems to have this block of like festivities that you have to sort of think about. I think Christmas in particular, yeah, there's a lot socially on the run-up to it. you know if i don't know about you, the weekend of Christmas for me or whenever it lands, Christmas itself is... Family time.
Eva's Social Life and New Activities
00:09:54
Speaker
You know, I'm with family on Christmas, but the run up to it is very much like, you know, my friends at Christmas markets, wreath making, shall we have a craft night, you know, all this kind of stuff. It's all wholesome, lovely goodness. And like I love it. And I love Christmas.
00:10:10
Speaker
yeah, there is definitely a feeling of like, have I shown up enough? And also it's funny because until now that I have the podcast, suddenly I'm quite sociable as well because naturally I'm doing more things and I joined the choir and I have like people I'm meeting. I'm being sociable, right?
00:10:26
Speaker
But before, December was a very weird time for me because I love Christmas. It's my favorite thing. That was quite lonely. Yeah, especially maybe for yourself because you've come over from Bulgaria as well. I mean, how old were you when you came? 19. Just 16 years ago.
00:10:43
Speaker
It's easier to make friends when you're younger, but it's still a time where you're leaving behind quite a big chunk of life, isn't it? Like you've had school and college and then you've come through into a different different world almost where you've got a kind of start again where friends are concerned. I was never sociable until like a few years ago. And it's because i think of some insecurities and the way I was seeing myself and people pleasing tendencies and all that.
00:11:12
Speaker
So I was not actually sociable at all. And then suddenly I kind of became sociable. like maybe last year? I've always been quite a sociable person. I'm an only child. I had an upbringing where it was always encouraged to, I had a lot of friends, you know, that was my mum and dad's, you know, and and they always made sure that I had lots of friends and we were always the house that had sleepovers and all that kind of stuff. So I was always very quite confident kid. So I think growing up, that so I've sort of led with that. as I've grown into an adult as well. So i would say I'm quite sociable anyway.
00:11:47
Speaker
So it comes naturally to me. It goes back to what I said about the wedding business as well. So interpersonal skills, that industry suited to me because it was like, it's fine. I can show up. We can have a really good time together this morning. And i get to do the job I love as well. At the same time, I get to paint your face and make you look beautiful. So the two things came together really well for me.
00:12:08
Speaker
But part of what I miss is the real creativity because inside of me i have so much creativity. I'm one of those people that I have, said like we just said, like screenshots of like ideas of things to do.
00:12:22
Speaker
in my head, it feels like there's so many tabs open for creativity. Like, I want to do this and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that, you know? And that's where I can feel quite overwhelmed. i can feel quite overwhelmed by my thoughts that have that are so...
00:12:37
Speaker
you know, I've got so many ideas and then none of them come to fruition because you've still got to live life, right? So like you still have to be a normal person and, you know I've got golden retriever Wilson and he takes up a lot of my time and I'm 36 now. I'm not even like doing crazy you know I want to go off and travel world or do anything crazy like you know or I've never been that person anyway but I just I yeah it's a weird place to be because sometimes i I think I think I can find myself at the end of the day sometimes i can feel like I've had a bit of an empty day because in my head I think to myself right I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do x y and z and part of that can be like creative but it doesn't come through because so much else in the day takes over and That's the
Creative Struggles and Perfectionism
00:13:25
Speaker
bit I struggle with. But I am basically the same because when you have all these things you want to do, you might be afterwards judging yourself for not doing them.
00:13:35
Speaker
I think it's the judgment part of it. For example, if I have a quiet day and i I'm thinking, i I could have explored creatively today. I didn't.
00:13:46
Speaker
Exactly what I think. It gets to like 7.30, 8
00:13:50
Speaker
And I think, I've still got time. I could paint my face like the night sky and turn that into content for Instagram. It's like, what am I doing? Yeah, if you want to stay up till 1am, Chloe, like, you know.
00:14:03
Speaker
But I said, yeah, you know. It's a funny place because what we just said like at the start as well about working in a really superficial industry, but trying to find depth.
00:14:15
Speaker
And I think if you are creative within that field, that can feel like your depth as well because you're trying to express yourself. And when you don't do it, you then feel bad that you haven't done it because it's like, well, that would have been good for me to have done that, to explore that. But I just didn't manage to get there.
00:14:35
Speaker
You're wanting more, your soul is wanting more, and when you're not providing that, you feel hungry. And that's how I have ended up feeling, I suppose, with regards to working in the bridal industry, because there isn't that outlet there.
00:14:52
Speaker
for anything creative. The best part about that job in that moment is seeing somebody feel amazing about themselves. they you know They look in the mirror and they feel the best they've ever felt. That's a great feeling as a supplier. You're like, I did i helped do that for that person and that's fantastic.
00:15:13
Speaker
But yeah, as ah as a creative individual, there's only so many times I can do rose gold eyeshadow and feel like oh That's really great. So I had to step away because I just know that there's something more for me. I just want to get back out there using my skills. They've been quiet. for a while. That's the best way I'd put it, you know?
00:15:35
Speaker
So, you know, i went off to BAM, Bath Academy of Media
Chloe's Content Creation Journey
00:15:39
Speaker
Makeup in 2018 and I learned so much there and I was so excited to get back out into like industry and everything. Like i say, the pandemic hit and it didn't come about. But, you know, I miss, I miss it. I miss working with that special affairs and wigs and, you know, just all those different aspects of makeup that are just, know, there's more to it than just making somebody look beautiful.
00:16:06
Speaker
Also, I actually love your content that you create. You should do more of it. In case you don't already have the days where, like, I should be doing more, and more, and more and more, more. I'm just telling you that too. Stop feeding my problem. No, but there is something about your content that is so, like, interesting. so There's some people that I really admire online that do character work. I see them, they just persevere and they keep going. and They do so much with their time. i feel it's something I can definitely do, but it's finding the time. And also, i feel like when you are a true creative, what comes with that is a little bit of perfectionism. You can get very particular about things and I mean I've made videos of characters and that haven't even seen the light of day because I just think to myself nope that's just not good enough that's not good enough people are going to look at that and just think what the hell is that that doesn't look good enough like you know and the joke of it is is I've shown friends or family and they've gone that's fantastic that's so good you should do it you should put it out there and I just think Yeah, but I don't do, you know, online content like that. However, what I've seen in terms of people who are quite successful at it, they always say, you know, I was posting content, nobody was watching it. And then I started posting the content that made me happy. I've seen that a lot.
00:17:25
Speaker
And actually that takes off the pressure of this idea of like having to post. This idea online, if you're into the content creation world, you know, i see so much online, it gets plugged at you. The algorithm feeds your feed, doesn't it? So I see so much like you have to post five times a day and, you know, you must, otherwise you're just not going to grow your following. And it's like, well, part of me understands that the algorithm is, a robot that is reading your content.
00:17:55
Speaker
The other part of me thinks, well, if the content I'm posting finds my true audience, then that's all I can really care about. ah so you don't know. You don't know what will get out there.
00:18:05
Speaker
I don't post anything, so nothing will get out there on my main page. But on my podcast, it's not even about getting out there. It's more about creating that page that represents the podcast.
00:18:18
Speaker
I suppose, you know, that's something that you and I both understand from being on shoots because what you're trying to do is you're a storyboard, aren't you? You know, you're part of that storyboard. Do what i love about online though as well? I will post like something I've spent like six hours on. I did Corpse Bride and it took me six hours to do my entire makeup.
00:18:38
Speaker
So that will get like I don't know, a couple of hundred likes. And then I post a video of me grooming Wilson in the sunshine on a summer's morning and it gets like 21,000 likes.
00:18:52
Speaker
I'm not even in it. It's not even good quality. Wilson's like really far away. It's telling you something. It's telling you that authenticity kind of wins.
00:19:03
Speaker
Yes, it does. If you have an animal, you should probably have ah an account for them. Well, that's just it. I went through a whole phase of doing voiceovers. That worked quite well.
00:19:14
Speaker
But that's another thing. It's difficult because, you know, he's 12 now. He's a senior boy. So I don't want to make him feel like he's performing all the time. He's looking at me now like, talking about me.
00:19:24
Speaker
Honestly, in his mind, I think he still thinks he's four or five years old. I don't think he... He doesn't think he's 12. I obviously will have to travel for work. So, you know, I'm going to miss him if I go away for a few days doing whatever i need to do or whatnot. But it's funny because I'm so close
Chloe's Bond with Her Dog, Wilson
00:19:40
Speaker
to him. I feel like he... If he was human, he would just say to me, like, you need to do what you need to do, mum. You know, I'm all right. And he's got such a strong tribe here. Like, you know, my parents and my grandparents...
00:19:52
Speaker
He spoiled rotten. He is an absolute gem. You know, I never worry about him when I'm away or anything like that. It'll be a change up for us. I think he's fine with it. He doesn't care.
00:20:04
Speaker
He'll just be like, that's great. that I will be with my grandparents, both sex, and I will be fed many a treat. So I'll be fine. Actually, I think I would love to have a dog called Igor.
00:20:15
Speaker
What a great name. know. I've always wanted to have a dog called Igor. What kind of dog would you want? Whippet called Igor. Oh, I could see you with a whippet.
00:20:27
Speaker
Like a little grey one. Very smooth. Grey, blue, yes. They're so cute and they just want to cuddle and they're so awkward because they're so bony so they're not great at it. Yes, so true. When they get on you, they're like, uh... Yeah, they clamber. And they kind of look a bit like confused about why they can't position themselves properly on you.
00:20:49
Speaker
Yeah, they do lots of that. They almost turn lots of times, don't they? Round and round and round to try and get comfortable. A lot of clambering involved. They are sweet though. I saw one. and My friend and I went to a Christmas market on Saturday night actually and somebody had one in a little sling.
00:21:04
Speaker
Little puppy. You would have loved it. She was gorgeous. They need clothes because they're cold so you always dress them up in like a nice jumpers and now that it's Christmas in Christmas jumpers.
00:21:16
Speaker
That would be cute. Oh Eva, you should get one. It's not really something I can do at the moment. I know, I'm the worst influence. Somebody wants to get a dog and I'm like, yes, get one. Yes, do it.
00:21:29
Speaker
You've got to be in the right position though. That is a key takeaway for sure. Like if you haven't got a support network network around you to have a dog, you have to know what you're doing. it' It's funny how they have separation anxiety. It's the one thing that, you know, with Wilson, he definitely suffers from that. He's not really a whinger or a whiner, but he he's a barker. He barks for attention.
00:21:52
Speaker
So if it's the one thing I could change, you would be the barking because it's so loud. But like I say, he he rarely suffers from that because he's got so many people around him. he doesn't get left on his own very often at all.
00:22:04
Speaker
He's a happy boy. He's one happy bunny. He is. Big bunny. He's a big penny. Yeah, he's big. See, this is the thing about modeling, right? that On that shoot, I kind of got along with everyone and we were chatting with everyone. There's this vignette to go for wine, you know, when you come back. And I never came back. Yeah.
00:22:24
Speaker
Yeah. it Actually, I've not been there either. Again, another saved post, I think. Like, let's go to the vineyard at Lanky and it never happened.
00:22:34
Speaker
I forget all about that place. It does look very nice, actually. And I was going to come down and me and you were going to go out to the busy busley clubs. Yeah. The busy, bustling nightlife of North Devon.
00:22:48
Speaker
Oh my God. The best time here, of course, is the summertime. You've got to come in the summer and we've got to go to the beach and just hang out in lovely village pubs. I love a nice fireplace in a pub in the summer.
00:23:06
Speaker
Although that is nice. yeah We have some lovely places like on the moor and things for that. like so That's the good place for that. I'm just having mulled wine in pubs all the time now because it's December, so it's mulled wine season and it's the only drink I'm having.
00:23:20
Speaker
It's a real, it's it's a December rule. I do like a more mulled cider though as well. Just give me the straight up normal. On the rock. My mom is funny because she told me that she moved on from Chad JP. And I was like, what what happened here? Hold on a minute.
00:23:38
Speaker
And I said, okay, great. Okay. That's good. It's good. Learning new skills is good. It's just, that's the key, isn't it? That shows you you can do it at any time, at any age with zero knowledge.
00:23:51
Speaker
A lot of the time we kind of stop ourselves because things seem scary. But actually... Yeah, absolutely. You've got to challenge yourself and just take those small steps to step out of a comfort zone, I suppose, you know, and just move into another area so you can feel more challenged.
00:24:11
Speaker
But it can feel scary because it's the unknown. You don't know what to expect, you? Comfort zone is the death of progress. It's the death of creativity. It's the death of anything that's like growth related.
Embracing Change and Growth
00:24:24
Speaker
Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:24:25
Speaker
And I always say what you're not changing is what you're choosing. It brings it back to agency and your own responsibility for yourself. Definitely. Because a lot of the time you'll be like, oh, this is like circumstances are difficult or I don't have time. And then you say that and you're like, oh, you can't blame anything else.
00:24:44
Speaker
So yeah, what you're not changing is what you're choosing. Everything we've spoken about is all about that really, isn't it? It's about growth and like moving out of what you're used to.
00:24:55
Speaker
And it's interesting, it goes back to what I discussed about like going from the pandemic situation, forced people almost to do that, didn't it? It was either stay still and just wait or jump and do something different.
00:25:10
Speaker
So that's how I ended up doing what I did. I think at times now where I've decided to step away from it and go back into the the production world more is it's remembering that feeling like you're going to be okay. It's going to be all right. Like it feels hard and things aren't happening like super quick. You know, it's the time of year is not great for starting something new.
00:25:32
Speaker
But if you just keep doing it, little steps, that's the way that it's going to make a ah change. It's just remembering that, you know, if you've done it once as well, you can do it again.
00:25:43
Speaker
And like he's just said about your mum, you can do it at any stage of life. It's never too late. Never. My 30s are so much better than my Same. same ahed In my 20s, I was so, i wouldn't say nervous, but I was so cautious, I would say.
00:26:01
Speaker
i was cautious because I almost felt like I didn't want to make the wrong decision about things. Wrong decision about all sorts of things, like professionally, personally. I found it hard to not have conviction, but to stick with something and just act on it.
00:26:19
Speaker
There was less anxiety because of course there is. like You stay in your comfort zone, it's low anxiety, you don't have to worry about too much, you know it's very predictable. but I feel like in my 20s I did that.
00:26:30
Speaker
I had predictability in most areas of my life. At some point something happens, doesn't it? It did for me and it was like, oh my god, I don't want to do this anymore. I just remember waking up one day, i was a dental nurse, going to work, I was sitting chairside, aspirating.
00:26:46
Speaker
I just remember looking ah my dentist I worked with and my patient. I just remember thinking, I don't want to do this anymore. I literally, I was just like, I do not want to look in people's mouths anymore. I don't want to mix up fillings. I just don't want to do this anymore. I remember that feeling like so well. It was such an overwhelming feeling that part of me almost wanted to like put the aspirator down and just walk out.
00:27:10
Speaker
I just wanted to be like, okay, I'm done. That's it. I'm done now. I'm going. This is my notice. Goodbye. my notice is two seconds. Yeah. Well, obviously I didn't do that. I do remember feeling like that. i remember saying, I'm done here. Okay, I need to change something. Yeah, that's when I decided. I've always loved UT and things like that. And I thought there's got to be something for me in that sector.
00:27:35
Speaker
So that's when I ended up doing that. and yeah, makeup came out of that, really. I was already doing bits of it, but I sort of really got into it after that. And yeah, away we went. i was in my late 20s. That was a turning point for me. Like say, my 30s have been so much better.
00:27:50
Speaker
In your 30s, you actually just don't care about what people think about you. Obviously, things have changed massively, haven't they? But, you know, 25-year-old Chloe Bond hears a phone, makes some content, put it online. She'd be like, ah you want me to do what?
00:28:05
Speaker
Like, okay, I will, but I'll probably just take some pictures of dogs and flowers. Is that all right? ah You know, it was like, no, it has to be you. i would have felt so overwhelmed.
00:28:17
Speaker
I would have meticulously made everything, right, has to be like this, like that, like that. And I would have agonized over it. Now i post the most ridiculous things. And I just think I just don't, I don't care. You know, like say, if you post what makes you happy and you do what makes you happy, then yeah everything's fine.
00:28:34
Speaker
I remember my 20s. And I mean, I worked in the retail for four and a half years at a tube station. Did you? Not even a store at the tube station. and Like in the middle of the walking path.
00:28:45
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Exactly. Because I was so afraid of trying. Basically what I realize now is that you have this fear sometimes which is just you, right? It's all fiction. It's stories you tell yourself. None of it is real. It's What your brain perceives as real based off your past experiences and your knowledge, your thoughts and your view of things. So that creates your reality and your narrative. You could see possibilities or you could see barriers. That's entirely up to you.
Influence of Environment on Personal Growth
00:29:17
Speaker
It's interesting what you say about that, because where you put yourself in the world matters. Little things can make a difference. You know, your environment, where you live, what you do, who you're surrounded by. That's another thing, I think, when you're younger.
00:29:31
Speaker
you know, a lot of people have it. They have ah an easier way. I never went to university, but I think a university offers that as something for somebody to unlock. like a new level. You take yourself away from your home environment and you are thrust into another world with new people from other places.
00:29:49
Speaker
If you stay local like I did and you can end up in a bit of a cycle, things don't really change very much. It's definitely important to to switch things up and experience new things. Otherwise, you're just never going to grow, are you?
00:30:03
Speaker
You're just going to stay like this, like on a level plateau. Imagine you stay the person you are in your twenty s in your 30s and in your 40s. It happens for some people.
00:30:15
Speaker
You're never getting to see who you are actually as a person. It's funny, isn't it? Because I guess the main thing is that you have to have the courage to just go for it.
00:30:26
Speaker
Sometimes you literally just have to go for it. That is the risk. My mum always says, take risks, make some calculated risks. Think about it. But you have to at some point just step into it. You might reach a stage where you're really depressed and a normal calculated risk would just not do it for you because of this level you are at.
00:30:49
Speaker
Sometimes you're so deeply meshed into that web that something quite small would not do anything. Sometimes it's got to be big. That's where I think you have to really dig deep, find that courage. You don't need somebody else to hold the mirror up to you. You you have to go and stand in front of it yourself and go, right, what am I doing? What is going on? like I have to change something because this isn't working.
00:31:16
Speaker
So until you do that, things won't ever change. We talked about like defying comfort. It's a really important part of growing as a person. And I've done it several times in my life. I see the younger generation struggling a little bit with the idea that feeling too comfortable is a really negative feeling. So they seek, seek, seek.
00:31:36
Speaker
They're seeking different things all the time and moving around and doing so much. But actually, there's a lot of drive now, isn't there, towards self-care. That's a comfort that should exist. That might also come from overstimulation because there's too much of everything, especially if if you've grown up with that. Your brain might actually be a bit different.
00:31:56
Speaker
So there's just too much stimulation. So it might be getting back to base. I don't know about you, but I feel so i don't feel old. But I feel the march of time.
00:32:07
Speaker
The younger generation, so 20-year-olds, their lives have just always had phones and social media. and you and I, we've had a time in our lives where that hasn't existed. You know, I can look back and know that I had Christmases where, you know, the only thing to watch on TV was the movie that was being shown on BBC One. And that's what you look forward to.
00:32:32
Speaker
at 4pm. There was this whole process, not this constant drip feed of like, you know, get up in the morning and go on Instagram and you can watch and you can scroll and, you know, you can connect with your friends and your friend had to phone the landline and, heavens forbid, speak to your parents before they spoke to you, you know? mean, all that happened was,
00:32:49
Speaker
So I remember was I was, don't know, 10. And this boy at school fancied me. And we in in Bulgaria, we had these books where you give out to your friends to fill out with information. And one of the pieces of information was home phone number. So then he started calling the house. And then something happened because, I don't know, didn't like him. But then his cousin started calling in the house and like telling me of his cousin. It it just became like a whole drama thing.
00:33:16
Speaker
What the hell? Oh, it's so strange. That's the story of the house phone. Yeah. And then the introduction of the internet where you'd pick up the phone and somebody was trying to dial up online and you could hear was... do dodoodoo I had a computer very late. So when I was about 15. I think I must have been about 11, 10 or 11, I think we had our first PC computer. It was just this huge box.
00:33:43
Speaker
Yes. And I just played Solitaire. huge screen and then and then a tower box with all the hard drive in it. It was very noisy as well. Oh, it was so noisy. And the internet took ages to get onto. Google didn't exist. We used to have Ask Jeeves.
00:33:59
Speaker
Oh my god, what a throwback. Basically, the character that was on there was a butler. Like an old school butler in a tux. Ask Jeeves was like the original search engine, I would say.
00:34:12
Speaker
i remember watching my first ever movie on the computer without sound because we didn't have the speaker. Yeah, we don't have sex. watched Gangs of New York. You didn't watch Gangs of New York without any sound? Yeah, I did. That was my first movie on the line.
00:34:30
Speaker
It's such an epic film to watch in silence. It's hilarious. So you just watched it in subtitles? was in my dad's room upstairs in the village where my grandmother lived.
00:34:42
Speaker
Oh, it's fantastic. It's one of my favourite films. I think I only watched it that time. Oh my god, this is killing me. Right, we've got to watch Gangs of New York with the sound on. It's fantastic. One of my favourites. Actually, when I went to the Academy in Bath, my facial postiche character was Bill the Butcher. I loved it that much. That's who I picked.
00:35:03
Speaker
Such a good movie. Daniel Day-Lewis is just... I've seen it so well. I mean, you know I love a bit of nostalgia,
Balancing Work, Personal Connections, and Self-Care
00:35:13
Speaker
though. You should come to the Christmas ah Home Deco Museum. Oh, I should, shouldn't I?
00:35:18
Speaker
Until Sunday, 11th of January, Museum of the Home. I'm actually looking at pictures. Looks really nice. Yeah, we've got to see more of each other, definitely. And like say, I am going to be traveling for work more, so London will be on the agenda anyway. Yeah, I need to work on a few things and connect. That's me. I need to step out of my comfort zone where emails are concerned. i need to take a leaf out of your mum's book.
00:35:41
Speaker
I could be doing that too. Yeah, sometimes you need a break though, don't you? find sometimes I can feel that overwhelmed. It's important to have self-care moments. That's the comfort that matters. And sometimes saying no is is the best way to do that.