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Chapter 10 - Going Grey
45 Plays8 months ago
You might be tempted to throw away the banana that just popped out of that guy's eye socket, but that would be a waste of a good banana, so throw it in the soup why don't you?
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Editing by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
X @bard_soup
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: The Streets of Prague by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Relaxing Piano Improvisation by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Soft Interlude by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Shalash by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Ambience: Sewers by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Rat Battle by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Battlefield by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Fantasy Ambience by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Soft Rain Ambient by Mikhail from Pixabay
ASMR sound effects by floraphonic from Pixabay
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
A Dangerous Invitation
00:00:04
Speaker
Now, let's see. Where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our heroes, they had just returned from a bit of highway robbery and hostage negotiation, and had gone some much needed rest. Faunalyn was awoken in the morning by Falocent, who informed her that the honorable Xerxes humiliation had come to see her. Faunalyn and the young noble went for a walk through the Berthold's miniature hedge maze, where Xerxes apologized for the recent attempt on Faunalyn's life, and an extended an invitation to an upcoming ball at House Praelme. It was at this moment that Clay Campbell saw the seal of House Praelme on the invitation, and discovered it was that of an albert, the same simple that matched the ring she had been carrying all this
Separate Leads, New Allies
00:00:53
Speaker
time.
00:00:53
Speaker
Phonlyn accepted the invitation, and Xerxes departed, and the Rump Trio immediately gathered to form their next plans, and determined they would each need to go their separate way to track down some leads that each of them was invested in. Clay traveled to the Dragon's Heart Cathedral and spoke with Bridescale War Commolt about their recent encounter with the Dragon Quigamont, and the scale that it attached itself to. Clay's holy symbol. Clay learned of a period of Draconic War known as the Dracoschism, and that by collecting more dragon scales, she would be able to increase her connection to her god, as well as her divine power. Glimky traveled to the Pearl District, where he met the Magnetic Southwater Jack, from whom he bought several fish. He brought these fish to the Habermaster, and received a list of ships that had been around Erdening in the month before the princess's disappearance, as well as a list of ships in the Humiliation Fleet that started with the letter K.
00:01:45
Speaker
He also acquired a copy of Vera Loneberry's book Danforth, a lightweight guide to the anchor's chain, a travel guide for anyone looking to forage to the nearby islands. Faunalyn intended to return to the sewers in order to barter her ammunition from the eyes of Iredin, but first made a quick stop to check on a recent bit of blackmail she had conducted. The demanded payment was there, but so was the halfling detective Marlon Whisperhand. He confronted Faunalyn, but rather than arresting her, he offered a deal. Information on Clay Campbell's involvement in the princess's disappearance, in exchange for Faunalyn's freedom.
00:02:20
Speaker
Faunlyn accepted the offer, but it seems she has little interest in actually honoring it. The three heroes regathered to discuss what had transpired, and it was in this moment that Glimpy and Faunlyn got into a little bit of a spat. Spat. Some words were said, and some feelings were hurt, and the three trudged down to the familiar sight of Madame Fauvelmon's tailor shop, in hopes of acquiring a dress for the upcoming ball. You already said all that. Look Klob, I'm going to repeat myself sometimes. It's a long story and you really just need to get on board. Anyways, back to the story.
Introducing the Cast of Bard Soup
00:03:16
Speaker
Come gather round travelers and sit on the stoop We'll tell you a story about Batsu Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop We'll tell you a story about Batsu
00:03:52
Speaker
Hey, welcome back to Bard Soup. A lot of people, mostly myself, have been saying my introductions seem unpolished, unrefined, ill-thought-out, so and I'm sorry. You, dear listener, deserve better. So, welcome to tonight's gripping episode of Bard Soup, chapter 10. I am your repentant dungeon master, Zach Meekle, joined by the prestigious Prima Zhao. Prima, who do you play? Hi, I'm Prima, I play Clay Campbell. Amazing, thank you. I'm also joined by one of my favorite people on this planet, Jordan Johnson. Hi, Jordan, who do you play?
00:04:39
Speaker
I play Glimpy Treefellow and I'm trying so hard not to break away from sex like NPR style intro. Oh no, no, don't talk about NPR. We already did an NPR intro. Oh shit, sorry. It didn't go well. So now we're a professional podcast. This is Bard Soup. We're our own thing. Right. but Sorry. Yes. It is an honor to be compared to NPR, truly. I'm also joined by my sister and one of my best friends in the world, Shannon. Hi, Shannon. How are you? Hi, Zach. And thank you so much for having me on today. I am just so thrilled to be here. That's amazing. And I asked the other two, I didn't ask you, who do you play? Thank you for asking. I play Faunalyn Vaidark. Wow. Amazing. A lot of people have been saying Faunalyn is their favorite character. A lot of people have also been saying Glimky is their favorite character. And a lot of people have also been saying Clay is their favorite character. It seems like we've got a robust cast of favorite characters and that's kind of nice. I've heard two of those things.
00:05:38
Speaker
And welcome back to Bard Soup. How was that, you sons of bitches? We're so back. I wish it was always like that. Which one? You wish it was always like that? A bit or screaming? Like NPR style. I liked it so much. Can't we always just be nice? No. No. Yeah. Yeah, I guess not. We join you, dear listener, on the the the the tail end. Not even the tail end, because it's the middle of Faunalyn's no-good, very-bad, truly horrible, terrible, awful day. But as Faunalyn sits on the curb, drenched with rain and puddle water, we cut to the inside of Madame Fauvelman's tailor shop. It is a cheery, warm,
00:06:23
Speaker
candlelit dress shop. There are swaths of fabric. There are hats upon. Cute little mannequin heads. That's right, they're cute mannequin heads. I bet you didn't know that was possible. Anything's possible. Madame Favelmoles. It's a magical place. Glimky. Clay, you have ventured inside. You have not been followed by Faunalyn just yet. You see that Madame Favelement is not immediately within sight and as the bell above the door rings, you hear from one of the the back rooms. It's her office. ah Be all right with you in a moment. Okay. Thank you. So, so Clay, what was the plan again? We're going to get some
Concerns and Connections
00:07:08
Speaker
uniforms made.
00:07:09
Speaker
Yes, I think we're going to be attending the ball with Faunalyn, so I guess we need some outfits. Okay. Well, I think mobility is a big thing that we should consider. We want to be agile and quick, so think of light fabrics, flexibility. Okay. I don't know if Vadim Phoboman will let us take any of the pre-made outfits that she's made, oh but I know where she keeps the fabric. So maybe we can take some of that and figure something out. I don't know what exactly the dress code for the help at a ball is.
00:07:46
Speaker
And I guess that's probably something we can clarify with Faunalyn. Yeah. And I guess if we look out the window, is she just sitting on the curb? So Faunalyn, as we know, wears a big poopy dress and has a huge tall wig. And I think when you look out at her and she's sitting on the curb, she looks like a melting cupcake. Oh, God. She's just, she's just drenched. She's throwing twigs at a gutter. I go outside. Lady Faunalyn, it's raining. Don't you want to come in? Are you okay? Faunalyn turns so slowly to look up at you and her makeup is just running down her face. She looks like the saddest little clown because she is the saddest little clown today. No, it's fine. I'm quite comfortable where I am. No, they'll come in from the rain. We need your expertise on fashion.
00:08:42
Speaker
No, Madame Fermont doesn't like me because I threatened her. Follow, we'll clear it up in just a minute. And will we clear it up, Glimky? Will we clear it up? We'll clear it up. Just hold on a moment. And I want to pull a clay back in. As you're chatting, a man, this like bald man with just like stringy hair and a wagon is walking down the street and he's picking up bags of garbage and throwing them into his wagon. And he walks past fondly and tries to lift you up and says, oh, terribly sorry. And continues on his way. No, finish the job.
00:09:20
Speaker
put me where I belong sorry ma'am union rules and continues on his way god I'm not even fit to be called rubbish Oh my god, Golovki's pulling Clay back in the building. Clay, obviously this is a very low moment for our friend Faunalyn here, um but you know, I i don't know. i've been I've been talking to a lot of people and we're trying to pull at the threads of this this whole thing. And I know she's been our friend, I guess you could say, throughout this whole ordeal.
00:09:54
Speaker
But I think it's important that we consider that out of all of us, she seems to be the most connected to, coincidentally, the kidnapping and i I don't know, it seems a little hypocritical to be. preaching this to someone who you know actually physically kidnapped the lady but my parents always told me if something smells fishy it's probably fish so i i'm just trying to say i think it's best to keep our best interest in mind i can't expect it to trust all of those people that she surrounds herself with so we should be careful and maybe i'm speaking out of turn here but
00:10:35
Speaker
I mean, you know, hopefully we rescue the princess and we all earn ourselves that boon. But truly ask yourself this, if we did and we were given the choice to share it or keep it all to ourselves, what do you think she would do? you You're thinking she she has ulterior motives? She's got a lot going on, Clay. Yeah, but I think she's been helping us so far. And she's even letting us stay at her place. I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt. And of course, by all means, we're gonna still work together. But I just I think we should be careful as all. Okay, I think I think she's really going through it right now. Don't let it fool you,
Emotional Recovery and Planning
00:11:18
Speaker
Clay. maybe She looks so sad out there. Fondylin has collapsed backwards outside and is starfished in a puddle.
00:11:29
Speaker
But yeah, get her inside. A man with a knife walks up to you and says, give me all your money. Actually, it looks like you need it. I'm sorry. I hope things get better for you. And walks off. Do you have any money for me? I'm quite broke. He hands you two gold pieces. Thank you. ah Okay, get her inside. ah Lady Faunalyn, enough. Please come in. No. If you don't come in, we're physically dragging you in. You can't. I'm very strong. Okay, Clay. Okay. Let's go pull her in. I tried to lift Fondylin up. I'm helping Clay. You gotta let me roll to ragdoll. Sure, you can do contested athletics checks, but you can roll with advantage. I rolled a 14. I rolled an 18 plus one. 19. I want to princess carry her. Clay, you scoop up Fondylin. Did you say princess style?
00:12:28
Speaker
Yeah. Could you, could you please describe that to our dear listeners? I kind of peel her off of the pavement and lift her into my arms like a princess, but she's like drooping. I think my wig like slides backwards off my head and just hits the ground in a wet funk. And it reveals that I, that Faunalyn has very kind of short cropped gingery red hair underneath her wig. Wow, I think that's shocking too. Clay, who's never seen her without her wig. Oh, and your head fell off. Oh geez, I've been down and picked up her wig as well. Ah, I'm exposed. Is this salvageable, the wig? It's like wet now.
00:13:15
Speaker
It's garbage like the rest of me. Oh god. Okay, let's go in. As you bring her inside, the doll once again rings, and Madam Falvamon comes out of her office. Clay, whatever has happened to Lady Vedak, are you all right, Madam? It's his most unbecoming. Uh, I'm ill? Is this also the dress that she made her? The bright yellow dress. I know. She runs over and you think she's going to put a hand on your forehead and she just immediately starts examining the fabric and says, Alas, this is, it is ruined. It is irrevocably damaged. Madam, what can I do for you? i I am afraid our last interaction was perhaps a little bit the
00:14:05
Speaker
I was not my best. Perhaps you were not your best. Perhaps it does not have to define this. Perhaps we do not have to define ourselves by when we are not our best. No. Perhaps not. Now, I'm going to go grab you a Snuggie and you can change into that and we can go from there. And she runs off into the back office and comes out with a lovely taupe Snuggie. Taupe.
00:14:32
Speaker
Flannelyn will put it on, but she's going to ask Clay when she gets a moment slightly out of Madame Fauvamon's earshot. Didn't we come here to rob this place? I feel that we should do that quickly before morality gets in the way. Wait, we're rob- we're robbing this place? Oh, don't we need fabric? I thought we were just taking scraps. Yeah, far release of fabric. Ooooh. A ball-ruing wink-wink. Yes, okay. I mean, if we ask Madame Fauvamon, she might help us. I mean, considering your current state, maybe we can play on that. Maybe she'd be more willing to help us because you look really sad. I feel like normally I'd be able to leverage this situation, but I'm not feeling terribly strategic at the moment. I'm trying to come up with ideas and I just hear my grandfather's voice saying, you're bad at chess. You're not very strategic. And I don't know what to do. So.
00:15:26
Speaker
Well, perhaps we can pick up the slack a little bit. When was the ball? And do you know the dress code? The dress code is excessively fancy, just as elaborate as you can imagine. Whatever you're imagining, triple it, because I don't think you can even conceive the levels of fanciness. And the ball is, I believe tomorrow, day after tomorrow. Day after tomorrow. Is there a theme? Ooh, I will pull out the sopping wet invitation and I slap it at Glimpy. He like slaps on his chest. The water has caused all the ink to smudge. It's barely legible. And there's only about 10 letters left that says, no one loves you. hu ah Oh, they personalized the invitation. That's so sweet. No, no theme. Hey, no theme. Okay.
00:16:14
Speaker
If you think back, though, to a time when life was better about three hours ago, there was no theme, there was Crow Saviche on the menu, and it was going to be a night of revelry to forget recent the the recent troubles the city has been experiencing okay i have an angle funnel and if you'll hear me out i know you're not feeling it but what if you you know play up to madame for vaman be like you know we're going to be wearing you at this ball it's time to show out
00:16:48
Speaker
do us your best ditties and we'll walk that red carpet saying, Oh, you guys aren't wearing Fauvements. That's sad. You know? Okay. I'll give it a try. Whatever Fauvements. May we? I'll be showing out and I want to do a little ditty and tell the people on the red carpet that if they're not wearing faux bemots that they're trash. And what do you say? This time she does walk up and puts a hand on your forehead and says, is she all right? ive I have never seen her like this. Granted, we've only met like twice prior, but. No, no, no, no. She should lay down. She should lay down. She's not feeling well. I see. Clay, perhaps you could take her up to your chambers and put her to rest up there. Sounds good, madam. I'll do that.
00:17:35
Speaker
Maybe I caught syphilis from all the rat sex. Oh jeez, okay, I ah take her away upstairs.
00:17:45
Speaker
Oh man. You venture up the creaking stairs to the loft of Madam Fulvamongs. It's a familiar sight at this point. There are broken mannequins and piles of fabric and a few personal items of clay camels scattered about as well as a small but long enough bed for clay. I lie her down on what is basically like a futon on the ground. I lie like a portrait of Ophelia. I am a drowned woman on that bed. I
Unraveling the Attackers' Past
00:18:16
Speaker
like ring out her wet clothes and fold it next to her. I guess I also touch her forehead. Is she feeling feverish? No. No. The sickness is internal.
00:18:33
Speaker
Okay, you you just rest Lady Faunalyn. We'll figure out the clothes for the ball. Okay. I'm very good at sewing, by the way. Not a lot of people know that about me, but I'm very good at it, so... Okay, yeah, we can work on the outfits together. Do you know what we should wear to an event like this? With me and Glunkie? I don't know. Probably, like, dress like servants or something, because you won't be able to pass for nobility. which isn't a slight against you. I saw the face you just made and I'm not a complete monster. It's just that everybody knows each other. So you can't show up and be like, oh, I'm the Lord and Lady of Fuckington. I don't know. It doesn't work. You have to be plausible. Okay. So just, I don't know, like the little coat. I don't know. Whatever makes you feel helpful and discreet. Okay. Sounds good. the Why Glimky hate me?
00:19:27
Speaker
he He doesn't hate you. he He's just not used to being around, you know, nobility and it's nerve wracking. For me at least. You're telling me Limky is intimidated by me. You did come off as a little intimidating in the beginning, but we're we're friends now, right? Yes. Yes, we are. And thank you for saying that you found me intimidating. That means a lot. You're welcome. I think we'll get through this. You're just going through a bad spell right now. Okay. I'll get it together. Don't worry. I'm getting it together as we speak. It's okay. You, you rest. Do you have my wig? Yes, here it is. Thank you. I tried to bring out as much water as I could. No, that's very damaging for the fibers, but thank you for trying anyway. There she is. I need you to be so honest. Is my skull
00:20:19
Speaker
lumpy at the back in a bad way. Perception check, can I? Roll it. We could even call this medicine if you want. Do a little cranial examination. I got a 15. You know? No. As much as it's clown on fauna when we cured barred soup, it's a perfectly fine looking skull. I don't see any lumps and I didn't know your hair was orange. I thought this was your real hair. No, my real hair isn't a foot tall and gray, but I'm glad that it is such a convincing accessory.
00:20:58
Speaker
three And thank you for saying my head isn't weird. I think both ways suit you. Oh, thank you. I think your skull is normally shaped as well. Oh, thank you. Do you want to get another wig? I don't know if Madame Fauvamonte has, like, where do you get a wig like this? I think we can salvage this one theoretically. I'll have Fallow do some work on it, perhaps. I think we can pull this one together. Okay. Sounds good. They're very hard to acquire. This is genuine horse hair. Wow. Horse, not anything else. Equestrian hair. Okay.
00:21:41
Speaker
So, Faunalyn is left to rest, to recover. As Clay departs down the stairs to rejoin with Glimky and her landlord, Faunalyn, you are left to your thoughts in the dimly lit loft of Madame Folvamol's. It feels nostalgic. Yeah, I think the dimness in the wood walls kind of center me a little bit. And after a good minute of malaise, I think I am able to come back to myself a little bit and start making some plans. Start getting my shit together a little bit. But I'm still very much horizontal. Meanwhile, Clay and Glimky, you rejoin downstairs.
00:22:33
Speaker
Madame Fulvamal in her, I don't know if you recall, she wears extremely high heels. She is a dwarf, but she could almost pass for human height with the severity of her heel. Stilts. Essentially. And I'd like to think that Glimky and her are just kind of standing there, not really, not really making small chat or small talk, just kind of Two boyfriends were left at a party and they're like, I guess we'll chat, but we don't really know how to talk to each other. So you're just, you're just there. Do you like like making dresses or? Hey, it's just okay. No complaints. Do you? Uh, no, I've never made a dress. Oh. Yeah. Um.
00:23:24
Speaker
Sure is coming down out there. sir We needed this rain. Yeah, they've been saying that. They've been saying that. What is taking them?
00:23:39
Speaker
if You hear the sound of Clay coming down the stairs and immediately the tension breaks. You both just silently exhale. ah madame f ah Clay, ah now, is she going to be all right? yeah Yeah, she's just not doing really well. Thank you so much for you know letting us be in here. I didn't mean to disrupt your work. It's quite hard. It is a rather quiet day. Not many people wishing to go out in this downpour. If it is all the same to you, I will get back to my ledgers. I'm taking today to do some much needed accounting, but feel free to wait here, of course, until
00:24:20
Speaker
Your employer is sir ready to depart. Thank you so much. Clay, we need outfits. May I have a faux vamont? May we? I know you keep some fabrics in the back. Are there any that are extra that we could potentially borrow from you? Now, borrow is an interesting word because it typically implies that one will get it back. But in my experience, when one takes fabric, it does not really retain its original form and thus its function. Might I inquire as to the purpose of this acquisition? We're going to try to make some outfits.
00:25:01
Speaker
it's Now, and not to be ah difficult, but you are in the employ of a ah noble lady, are you not? Is there a reason why the noble lady cannot pay for this fabric as opposed to borrowing it? Yeah, we hold on. Pause. What? Why can't we buy stuff? I have 17 gold pieces as of the charity that I just received. What are you guys working with? I have 20 something gold. What the fuck y'all rich? I was going to ask though, because the first dress was a gift from Lady Faunalyn's host. Yes. And there are are they also going to the ball? Not that you are aware of. How much does one dress cost usually? The cheapest dress would go for 15. Asking the DM because I feel like Clay would know how much they would cost.
00:25:56
Speaker
The cheapest dress would go for 15. Nice code switch there.
00:26:03
Speaker
That's a lot of money. Yeah, that's a lot of money. I would like to counter offer. We're going to the ball at House of Prandly, which I'm sure you've had clients come through here looking for dresses and such for it. I have a few, yes. A few, yes. Well, and I'm assuming you what gave them something off the rack or are we doing custom? She gives you a very curt look. Her eyes, which have been friendly enough, customer service friendly.
00:26:34
Speaker
They turn to black iron, and she stares at you and says, we do not do off-zerac. Every dress is a it is a masterpiece. It is art. We do not do off-zerac. If you want off-zerac, you can buy a hat. Part of the plan for my meant no harm. I guess what I was trying to get to the bottom of was, you know, when you're dealing with these other clients, I'm sure they put some limitations on your creativity, whether it be their taste or color preference. No? Give me a persuasion roll with advantage.
00:27:10
Speaker
20. Her eyes soften ever
Quest for Answers Underground
00:27:12
Speaker
so slightly and she says, perhaps they are at times stifling of the creative genius. What if I presented you a block of marble in the form of funnel in Beidar, you could do anything you want. Complete artistic freedom, and of course the two servants of hers, me and Clay, that would have to be by her side. But a complete uniform look to walk the floors of the ball, a one-of-a-kind Madame Fauvama. Akin to the food critic in Ratatouille, her eyes kind of go wide and camera punches in for a second.
00:27:53
Speaker
You realize you've leaned forward and you pull back. This is intriguing. I must admit, this is very intriguing. I will do this. However, I will ask for
00:28:10
Speaker
something in return by all means a recent shipment of mine from evox was waylaid a collection of silks that i was expecting i was going to make the most fabulous dresses with them i will front the dress as well as tastefully matching uniforms for the two of you If after this ball is done, it does not have to be right away, but you hand deliver a crate of silks from the capital of Evox, Yalideyawa to me.
00:28:55
Speaker
I will pay for it. I just need somebody to get me the fabric. Yeah, I mean, of course, to keep your business going. It seems you need that kind of fabric. I'd be happy to help you get your shipment of, sorry, in where from again? And maybe maybe put that in writing so we don't lose track of our arrangement. Is the island of Ewoks? It is part of the anchor's chain? They have the most fabulous Sikhs there, but it has the unfortunate privilege of being neighbors with the people of, well, there are no people in Agaranya, but I'm sure you are familiar with the cursed island, no? No. It is another island in the Angkorst chain. They are neighboring islands. It is rumored to be haunted by ghost pirates, so sometimes, you know,
00:29:48
Speaker
Motions aren't careful. They drift far from friendly waters, and sometimes they get waylaid. Oh, my goodness. OK, good to know. um Yes. e Be careful, I suppose. Of course. OK, I mean, I think we're heading that way anyways, right, Clay? um Yeah. So um yeah, we may as well snatch up a crate of silks while we're there. Did you want to give me the money now? inform me when you and okay yeah I shall provide you with the sir that's requisite currency totally that smart ah smart wouldn't want to walk around the ball with a pocket full of gold any kind of specific silks or just a box of silks from clay I trust your kinder artistic mind I'm sure you can find some things that is acceptable get me a variety though nothing to
00:30:44
Speaker
Okay. Nothing too trendy. We want to be ahead of these things, not chasing them, no? Yes, I got you. I will pick the most beautiful ones. Fantastic. I'll require approximately a thousand gold pieces worth, so travel carefully. If you do not return, then I will sell all your belongings. Okay. Yeah, no worries. We'll definitely grab you that box of silks. Magnific. Now, I require Zmarble. Oh, yes. Okay, I'll go see how she's feeling. Let's just check on her cause Clay make sure that she's in the state of mind to be not picky. Cause we made an agreement to be fully open to her decisions. We're blank canvases pick blank canvases.
00:31:30
Speaker
Yes. Okay. I go back upstairs. How's, how's she looking? Finalin has somehow cinched the onesie so that she looks snatched in it. yeah And her wig is back on, although it is still a little bit sodden. yeah She's made it look decently presentable. There's still some drips coming off of the curly pieces, but she's made it work. She's no longer bald headed and she's kind of wiped off her makeup, which is maybe one of the first times you've seen her without a ton of very French Rococo style makeup on. She's got some freckles. And, you know, she looks okay. And as Clay comes in, she looks over and says, oh, hello, Clay. Nice to see you again.
00:32:10
Speaker
Lady Fodelin, you're looking much better. How are you feeling? I feel fine. Why do you ask? Okay, great. So we've come to an agreement with Madame Fauvamon. She's okay to make an outfit for you. Her best work. We've given her free creative reign, but the garment will be free. We just have to do a favor for her and purchase some silks at the anchor's chain for her. Oh. But since you had it there, yeah. So I think it's a pretty good deal. Do you want to go see what kind of design she's thinking of? Yes, and let's hope she has good taste. Yeah. The next five hours or so are spent under the intense gaze of Madame Fauvamol. At first, she's a little cold towards Yufanalin, but as she gets into her work,
00:33:05
Speaker
she starts to loosen up a bit. It's a little less rigid. She's very excited about the work and she softens ever so slightly towards you. It seems like some of the harm from the previous interaction is eased ever so slightly and if you recall the first time you visited her she had these scissors that floated around her freely and she controlled them in some way you're not quite sure the exact mechanism by which she does so but the three of you watch is just just bolts of fabric come unfurling towards you like a comedically large scroll that's been thrust out down a set of stairs you see these scissors go flying by chopping just whirling past your face coming just within an inch of your nose at points
00:33:51
Speaker
But it's it is a chaotic hurricane of fabric and needles and thread. And at the end of it, she says, perfect. We have a general idea. Come back tomorrow, ah first thing. And we shall see if we can get a little bit closer. It's going to be tight. But we shall make this truly a remarkable dress. And then the two of you, make sure you're here as well, because we will have to get started on you probably the day after. But we might be able to stop tomorrow if we are urgent. Now, uh, be gone. And, Clay, please clean up before you go. Okay, good. I think during the five hours, Clay would have been, like, sketching fashion sketches with, like, outrageous outfit ideas and just handing her... handing Madam Fovem all her sketches at the end.
00:34:47
Speaker
Clay, give me a roll and you can, we'll call this a a check, we'll call this a performance check and you can add your proficiency bonus for using your artist's tools. Cool, what is that exactly? That'd be an additional plus two, so your performance and then an additional plus two. 13. As she is walking off to her office, you see she kind of, she takes one and she looks at it and she she tosses it away. She looks at a second, she tosses it away and then she pulls out a third and she kind of looks at it and holds onto it and then continues on into her office. Hmm. Nice. Glimky, what were you doing during those five hours? Sleeping.
00:35:31
Speaker
Sure. Or probably reading that book, I guess. That's a better answer. That Vera Longberry presents Danforth, a lightweight guide to Anchor's Chain. It's not a big book, but it feels oddly dense. Vera Loneberry's Danforth, a lightweight guide to the Anchor's Chain. Chapter one, Shade Tree Shores. Known by many as the Gateway to the Anchors Chain, shade tree shores is a paradise amongst paradise. Lash palm trees line countless golden sandy beaches, and benevolent ocean currents ensure that the water is always a perfect temperature.
00:36:11
Speaker
Be sure to visit Port Takar for the thriving markets, not to mention the enthralling culinary scene. Of course, no visitors shade tree shores would be complete without a trip to Billy Village for a dip in the Crystal Pools and to pursue the high-quality tapestries made by the Tabaxi that call the village home. If you're fortunate enough to be visiting in the early summer months, a trip to Hibiscus Town is a necessity to see the beautiful flowers and the flocks of butterflies that congregate in the village each year.
00:36:40
Speaker
Chapter 2 Shieldrock Named for the dormant volcano that forged the island, the Shieldrock is said to block the terrible seasonal storms that would otherwise plague the anchor's chain. The eastern half of the island is generally considered inhospitable by all but a group of Goliaths that live in the oft-destroyed town of Rumormenta's reward. The western half, however, is the complete opposite. Here, life-bringing rain feeds vast rice fields and tea plantations. This author recommends the turmeric-roybus tea for a spicy little treat. Those that enjoy hiking may consider a trip up the shield rock to Stonegard Citadel, one of the four major temples of Zemfi.
00:37:22
Speaker
Chapter 3 Avox When discussing spice, Nowhere in Zav evokes such strong imagery as Avox, the spice capital of the world. It's here that the people from throughout the Anchor's Chain gather in the central city of Yali de Yawa to trade spices in the Thousand Taste Market, a vast open-air market known for its vast array of spices and culinary delicacies. The biomes on Avox are nearly as plentiful as its spices, arid salt deserts, lush red rock valleys, and rainforests filled with cinnamon trees, just to name a few. The island is also renowned for its annual racing event, the Golden Circuit, wherein chariot riders compete to complete a hundred mile journey around this island in a multi-day race that will leave you on the edge of your seat the entire time. Chapter 4. Arakil
00:38:13
Speaker
Our queue is a volcanic island, home to only a single small community and a few brave souls that have chosen to embrace the frequent eruptions and plumes of ash that clog the sky. The volcano provides a strong deterrent to the island's most sought-after attraction, the Dreaming Oracle. Said to be capable of answering any question, the Dreaming Oracle lives within a magically sealed temple that can only be accessed by completing a series of trials that prove one's worthiness. I think this author will stick to the beaches of Shade Tree Shores, thank you very much. Chapter 5. Ogoranya. Do not go here. The best time to visit this island was when it was a safe haven for pirates. Now it's far worse. Rumor has it that the island is cursed and ships of the damned can be spotted in the surrounding waters. Many sailors in the anchor's chain have stories to tell about run-ins with the so-called twice-damned seven, but many more have failed to live long enough to tell their stories. Chapter 6. Bogatir.
00:39:12
Speaker
are good. We've reached my favourite link in the chain. The largest island in the Ecker's Chain, Bogatir, is the second home of the wealthy from throughout southern Zav. While only a few are fortunate enough to own a slice of paradise on the island, the rest of us must contend with Silver Shores Resort. Although, as far as consolation prizes go, silver is as good as gold. Silver Shores Resort stretches for 70 miles along the shores of Numlumen Lagoon and offers all manner of luxury. During your stay, you might consider catching a show at the Noom-Loomin Opera House, or perhaps a spa day at the House of Tides. Cigar gives the most transformative massages. Those willing to risk their coin will enjoy the numerous games of chance offered at Sand Dollar's Casino, or for those who are seeking a little adventure in their lives, consider one of the many tours offered by Elmorran's excursions. Whether it's a trip to the Amethyst Valley, or a trip to the bottom of the sea, Elmorran has got you covered.
00:40:07
Speaker
Before you leave, you simply must experience a meal at Tanahara. Headchef Dornamis Cole prepares a meal unlike any you've had before, and simply must be seen to believe. Tables are limited, and reservations should be made several months ahead of your arrival. Chapter 7 – God's Basket What Avox is to spice, God's basket is to fruit. The fruit grown on this island is fit for the gods, and, according to many of the denizens of this island, it is in fact a gift from Ojibal himself. Rumored to give those that eat them extraordinary powers, the fruits of Ojibal's Banti are highly sought after by all who visit the island.
00:40:43
Speaker
For those looking for a more mundane, but no less enjoyable vacation, consider a trip to the elven-inspired architectural marvel of treetop, or the sprawling orchards of the Perilin coast. While there, you simply must try the apples sold in Petrichor, though it's been many years I still dream about them to this day. Chapter 8, Isletanacor As beautiful as it is dangerous, to venture onto Isletanacor is to venture back in time. a time when dinosaurs ruled Zaf. Once believed to be prosperous throughout our world, this island is now the only place to find such creatures. The island is tightly guarded, and the only way to visit it properly is by traveling to the town of Gelendilar. Here, one may book any number of tours into the interior of the island, where you will see all manner of strange and marvelous beasts, or so I've been told. Personally, you wouldn't find me going within 30 miles of a place that such terrible monsters call home.
00:41:37
Speaker
Chapter 9 The Serpent's Fang Do not go here! One might be tempted to visit the island to see the sprawling moorlands or the black trees of the Cinder Grove, but this author has heard too many stories about ghosts and ghouls and all manner of terrible things lurking in the shadows of this island to ever consider, including the Serpent's Fang on her itinerary. For those that insist on risking their lives, Telektown is purported to offer some of the best fish in the anchor's chain, but if you think a piece of cod is worth getting possessed or eaten, I simply cannot help you. Chapter 10. Mengen. Mengen is the perfect place to stop after skipping over Illitenokar and the Serpent's Fang. While here, be sure to visit Onkyl to enjoy the thriving arts culture that the city is known for. Artists from throughout Zab flock to Mengen so that they may paint the beautiful landscapes and plant life of the island.
00:42:26
Speaker
For those looking to avoid the hustle and bustle of city life, consider a peaceful trip to the lakeside town of Manus, or the elusive half-town, home to a delightful group of fey creatures that gifted me with some truly splendid cheeses. Chapter 11, Cobarus Of all the oddities and strange entities that call the anchor's chain home, perhaps none are stranger than the mysterious Jarr Arrath. The island would be an inhospitable desert, word not for the presence of the Jarr Arrath Learning Center, a large compound owned and operated by Jarr Arrath, the leader of the Round Zavirs. An organization convinced Zav is actually round. How absurd.
00:43:02
Speaker
Politics aside, this compound features comfortable lodging and a beautiful hot spring, as well as dining facilities and a disc golf course. This amount of luxury comes at an exorbitant price, and this author is of the opinion that your money would be better spent at almost any of the other locations she has described in this text. Chapter 12. Shark Island. Do not go here. While Shark Island is a beautiful way to end one's journey through the anchor's chain, it is also the battleground for a generational war between the lizard folk that live on the island above and the Sahawagan that live in the sea caves below. Should one manage to avoid becoming embroiled in the conflict here, there are still many dangers as great swaths of the island are covered in inhospitable swamps that threaten to suck you down into the abyss below. No,
00:43:44
Speaker
I think I'll be returning to Bogatia for more of Chef Cole's Crow Savichi. Thank you very much. And as you finish this last chapter, the scissors snapped shut for a final time. And yes, there you go. You read the book. Can I please have all of that text? Of course. Delightful, guys. What a diverse landscape, like some beautiful like resorts to, sorry, an embroiled blood war. Yes. And also Jurassic Park is in there. Ila Tenequar, but thank you. Yes, I made notes on all the places I want to go. There is also a map included in the book. It's like a little tarot map, so I will send that to you as well. You finish up the first of your marathon session with Madame Fauvamo.
00:44:36
Speaker
It is still raining pretty heavily outside. Clay will say you spend like 20 minutes just sweeping up scraps of fabric and little pieces of thread that have scattered all around this room. And then it is presumably home time or somewhere else time, if that's more the vibe. Where do you want to go? Do we have anywhere to be? Yeah. What other loose ends do we have still? The best of my knowledge? No. Wow. Have we shared what we learned when we split up yet? Faunalyn shared what she knew about Marlin's investigation.
00:45:12
Speaker
into you, Clay. I don't know if the other two passed on any of your findings. Or talking about like the boats and stuff. Yeah. Because I imagine, Clay, your discovery is well important in their own right. Fun fact. I think it'd be very funny if yeah if you're like, so here's what happened like a couple hundred years ago in the city and like with dragons. And everyone's like, What about the princess? Should we find somewhere to catch each other up on everything we've learned? Because I got some spicy stuff to talk about. Yeah, where do we go? I guess back to... Burtold Manor? What a drink. Sure. We could go back to like a... Pub? Yeah, the pub. Let's do it. Which pub are we talking about, gang?
00:45:58
Speaker
Let's go to the Oceany pub. Tungsten, I don't even remember what the other one's called. Tungsten flask. Yeah, the Tungsten flask. Was that the nice one? But it was a bit snooty. Oh wait, is that the one with the muscular woman? ah Elaine or Eleanor. We're going there. I don't know why it is. Yes. Oh, do you think that Barb will be playing again? If Mr. Henkle asks, please tell him that I've spoken to my employers about getting my job. I said I would do that and then some other things came up, you know. I had a very informative nap. I snuggled down and then I woke up and got my shit together. And I would like to find out who tried to kill me.
00:46:40
Speaker
And Glimke, I know you'll probably take Umbridge with that, because you hate everything that I do. But I think it's important that I investigate that, and so I'm going to be asking around. I'm going to be looking into it. I'm going to be asking questions, and I don't care who eat a fens. I don't care which gnomes would rather I was dead. I'm going to ask anyway. I think it's a great idea that you look for your potential killers. Did that happen the day before the princess was kidnapped? No, it was the very same night actually. Yeah, that can't possibly be related. So many things were happening then. How are you feeling about that? you know Your life was in danger.
00:47:23
Speaker
you know Earlier when Glimkey was being mean to me, I completely forgot it had happened when I was listing all the worst days of my life. But then thinking it through, I do think that that is probably like the second worst thing that's ever happened to me. Like it's top three for sure. And it was very recent and I haven't really processed it. And not everyone in my inner circle has been compassionate about the situation. You know, some people can be very cruel. Some gnomes can be very cruel. So... I'm still processing it. Thank you for asking, Clay. You are a true friend. I hope we get to the bottom of it. Yeah, if you think that tracking them down will help you process it by all means.
00:48:02
Speaker
No, it's not just about processing it actually, Glimky. It's because I think there might be an elaborate plot ah surrounding the shipping industry in Erdenin. And in fact, the Vedark family is integrally involved in that business. So I think that the attempt on my life might have been not a reflection of my blackmail, as we all know I do, but in fact, something related to the princesses kidnapping, perhaps, or, you know, something to do with the humiliation criminality that we may have discovered. It's funny that you say that because that's a perfect segue into my list of things and I pull out my scrap of paper. This connection to the shipping, I've got a list of the ships that came out of the port on the 13th of Oduary. And, I mean, the first couple, I don't know, this one, Breath of Drake, commercial ship, Harpy's Whisperer, yada yada yada, Doris, Buncheon.
00:48:50
Speaker
But there's the Myrmidon, which left on the 13th, was a personal vessel of Mr. Baron Humiliation, captained by Tywill of Virtuous. And then there's a bunch of other humiliation ships that left, or that were ported as well, that you can look at. One of them captained by ah Humiliation itself. The Crack and Grasp, Karma's Lament, Kill Kenny's Ruin, and then the Kingfisher is captained by Arassus Humiliation. So I don't know, obviously giving you a hard time, but the more and more coincidences that seem to happen, the more and more, or I guess the less and less they seem to be just coincidence. So whatever this lead may be, whoever made an attempt at your life is perhaps involved in this whole scheme. Well, thank you for validating my feelings. I appreciate that. i mean
00:49:46
Speaker
and They were valid before you validated them, but nonetheless, I appreciate it. I know it's hard for you to try to agree with me. Clay, can you introduce me to some of your criminal friends? Um, you mean the people that Riggs hung out with? Yeah, just like the bad dudes around town because I, I mean, there were two men that night and I think they've been slain by the prince. But if they haven't been slain, we might be able to find them and find out who hired them. And regardless, someone might know something because there were two thugs with me on the terraces that night. And I think you are a bit of a criminal, no judgment. I'm fully capable of not being judgmental. And perhaps you know them or perhaps someone you know knows them.
00:50:27
Speaker
Yikes. Yeah, i I guess I can ask around. Do I know anyone else to talk to besides Rick? Riggs's crew consisted of, of course, Riggs Trembly. Una. Una. Patrick. Patrick Fast Hands. You would often fill in on jobs as a special helper. you've You've been piecing together maybe your criminal history over the last couple days. There were two other people in the crew that notably were not present for the job in the Sapphire District on the night the princes went missing.
00:51:05
Speaker
Oh, ah yeah, the only reason I was on the job that day was because Riggs got in a fight with the two guys that he was originally going to bring. the I think they took another job that night. I could try to find them and then we can ask if they know anything. Do I know where to track down these two guys? not specifically. Anytime you interacted with Welf and Munderek, it was primarily because you had been summoned to the the clubhouse and you would go there and they'd be there and you'd go do a job. but I'd say like every once in a while, one of them would come and let you know that there was work to be done, but they never had you over for Sunday afternoon barbecue or coronas after a well done heist or anything of that nature. You probably still have enough friends that you could ask around, people who might know where to find them. Oh, the infirmary?
00:52:12
Speaker
Fuzam might be a potential lead there. In many ways, he's at the center of the Erdenin criminal underbelly due to his unique role in keeping the criminals up and running. Okay, I think we probably shouldn't head back to the clubhouse that we went to before because, you know, the person who killed Riggs and Una are still out there. But there is someone I think we can go and ask, see if they know who those two thugs you saw on the terraces might be. Okay, yes, let's do that. We'll find out who they worked for, and we'll be careful, of course, because we're a bit worried about you and the fact that you're being investigated. So, you know, stealthy and all that. Yeah, I i guess I'd bring them to my third part-time job at the library. Phoneline, are you still wearing a Snuggie, by the way? Oh, absolutely. But I'm wearing it beautifully.
00:53:10
Speaker
Just, yeah, from a fan art perspective, I want to make sure it's done right. Do you still have an umbrella with you? Oh, always. I will deploy it and hold it over myself and Clay. I like the rain. Shake my twigs. I seem to be enjoying it very much. The greenery. You stick your your arm, your arm is pretty much fully extended above your head in order to get the clearance to get over Clay's head. But the two of you are dry, Glimpkey is shaking his canopy of air, drips of rain come pouring down these little leaves, and you make your way out of Madam Fulvamol's towards the Copper District.
00:53:51
Speaker
as has been well established at this point in the podcast. The roads get worse the further towards the Copper District you go, and they get better as you get closer to the castle. And on a rainy day like today, the roads of the Copper District are oh pretty mucky. They get pretty muddy pretty quick. You see some kids go running past you, kicking up just muddy puddles of water in your direction. Carriage goes by just spraying water. You managed to step out of the way at this time. Clay leads you down an unfamiliar set of streets. You have not been in this specific area within the Copper District before.
00:54:25
Speaker
and eventually you are led to a rather nondescript looking building. It is kind of a side entrance. There's a single scrap of white cloth kind of pinched in the doorframe and clay you take that to mean the doctor is in. and you enter the office of Fuzam Bistan. You venture inside. There are a couple of dimly lit lanterns, oil lanterns scattered around, and you see it's a pretty small room. There's not a lot of space. It's a single single room. There's no other doors leading in or out. You see that there is a
00:55:12
Speaker
Small gnomish man. He is got just wiry white hair and he's wearing a stained white coat and he is standing on top of a crate like a like a banana crate over a Operating table. There is a half-orc strapped down into this to this table, and you see he has a banana sticking out of one of his eye sockets, ah and the gnome looks over and says, ah, Clay Campbell, my best assistant, come on over, I need you right now, hurry up, this man's gonna bleed out of his banana eye, hurry up. Ooh, I scrub in, I guess. Campbell, what do you think is wrong with the patient? He has a banana sticking out of his head, sir.
00:55:54
Speaker
Would you believe that is actually a family trait? Oh, can I do a medicine check? You can. 12. Oh, 13, sorry. You are skeptical, but the doctor seems sure that the banana is actually not the cause of his alarm. And he says, no, no, no, don't worry about but the banana. It's appendicitis. I get that thing out of him where he's going to die a sepsis. Scalpel. Can I cast Cure Wounds or something? Yeah, I'll allow it. The easy thing is that I remember the doctor saying, the patient's gonna bleed out of his banana eye. I'm pretty sure that's the first thing he said. So was that just, was he burying the lead? Or does it- Eye sockets connected to the appendix. Banana eye connected. Ah, let's see. You place a big hand. Your hand's really probably almost the size of this guy's face. You place a hand down on him and you mutter off a prayer to McCrog. Your hand starts to glow white hot.
00:56:54
Speaker
and there is a sound and the banana goes shooting out of his eye splatters on the far wall and the doctor and I am using air quotes says well I'll be damned looks like it was a banana eye problem after all Campbell could you always do that because we've been working together for a couple years now and you have never done that yeah I've been practicing yeah I'm working on my healing well I'll be out of a job if you keep that up. So maybe like lay off the ah the magic stuff and let me stick to good old fashioned medical science. And he hops down off the crate and starts unfastening the restraints on the half-orc who stands up and goes over and grabs the banana and starts eating it. And he hands the doctor a couple coins and heads out into the into the evening rain. He turns back to you and says, yeah what can I do for you, Campbell? I don't suppose you came here for work because ah well I suppose I had to pay you and he hands you a silver piece. Hey, nice.
00:57:53
Speaker
I turn to Phonolin and I say, ah so this is Busan. I come by sometimes to practice my healing and he knows everyone in at least the comfort district. So I guess if you can describe the two guys that were on the terraces with you, he might know who they are. Okay, there were two of them. One was tall, one was short. They both had devious and cruel glints in their eyes. um So I don't know if that narrows it down for you. They had a sort of ne'er-do-well air about them, like the sort of guy who would try to kill a woman and actually indeed succeed killing another woman on the terraces is sort of the vibe they were going for. And also, I suspect that they may have been friends. They had a certain rapport.
00:58:41
Speaker
Now, not to be difficulty, but, uh, you just described about 90% of my clientele, except for maybe the friends part. Okay. What do I recall about their, them physically specifically? Give me just like a wee intelligence role. It was a bit of like a traumatic night. Actually, wait a minute. Did you make memory strands? Oh, for sure. I did. Assuredly. Okay, so we'll say you you reach into your sleeve, and like we've established you cannot share this with others, but you kind of play back that memory. You you look at it. One of them was a middle-aged human, probably in his mid-40s.
00:59:15
Speaker
Oh, can c Clay do a police sketch based off the description? Sure. So yeah, Phoneline, you start describing what you see in your memory, and Clay, you start sketching. One of them was a human, middle-aged, probably like mid-40s, male, white skin, long shoulder-length greasy hair, a broken nose, and a scar that ran from his ear to his throat. The other one was actually a halfling. He wasn't just a short guy, he was a halfling. He seemed to be probably around middle age for a halfling as well, a little harder to gauge the age of him. But he was bald. He was wearing a leather vest without a shirt underneath. And he had what I described as he was ugly as sin. So Clay, what you do with that is up to you. But you start sketching out these two people. Do I recognize Moon, Derek and Wolf?
01:00:11
Speaker
As you are drawing, you start to get a rather sinking feeling in your in your stomach. It's a feeling you're getting a little accustomed to. As of late the last week or so, life went from pretty chill to just a series of, oh, come on, moments. And sure enough, you do recognize both of these men. They are Welf Thule and Mundarek Schord, who were the other two members of Riggs's crew. And as you are coming to that realization, Fuzam says, Oh, yeah, I recognize that son of a bitch anywhere. I gave him, well, I didn't give him the scar, but I gave him the stitches that stopped him from bleeding out of his throat. They're looking at Welf Thule and Muderic Short. A couple of difficult guys. You're not gonna find him, I'm afraid.
01:00:57
Speaker
Hi. Yeah, Faunal, and I actually know these two. Wait, what? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Would you look at that, Glimky? What the fuck is going on? They're the ones who fought with Riggs that night, and they had another job instead of the one that we did. Yeah, and the other job being Someone hired them to... to murk you. I was the other job. Don't you think it's interesting that the same little pool of miscreants that was hired to kidnap a princess was also hired to kidnap me? I don't know. Do we think that indicates something about my station and import? I don't know, Glimky. I don't know. Yes, it does. Sorry, just to rewind, did you say that there was also another woman killed? Oh, yes, my, uh, the handmaid at the time, Iqwa. She was slaughtered in front of me.
01:01:54
Speaker
And I would have been slaughtered, but I jumped out a window. Yeah, the thought was, I will sooner kill myself than let one of these bastards kill me. But it's convenient because the floating terrace, you know, the terraces float, so one of them caught me. Oh my God, what the hell is going on? Yeah, wait, Wussam, do you know what happened to Munderk and Wolf? Who hired them for that job? I can't tell you who hired him, but I can tell you how they both died. Oh, he heads over to, he's got like this little, little desk in the corner, like a circular table more than a desk. And he grabs this, this little notebook off of it says, uh, yeah, single stab wound, both of them. I, uh, you want to see the bodies? Oh, I didn't, I mentioned they're dead. Yeah. I got, I got like some body parts. If you want to take a look belongings or anything that was on them. Good question.
01:02:46
Speaker
Uh, I might have a couple of things. It's kind of in the, uh, lost and found bin, so to speak. Wasn't anything. If there was money, I would have taken it. If there was, uh, you know, anything else might be around. These stab wounds, single step. Yeah. What do they look like? Sword, I presume. Yeah. Long blade enough to stick them all the way through. Yes. That would be the blade of Prince Elling Malphur. He's the one who came to my rescue. There we go. Sharp blade makes sense. It would go for a Prince. Did they have anything on their persons that was resembling an owl bear with an insignia of an owl bear or any sort of crested items? He furrows his brow, and as he does, his hair just kind of is just so wiry. it's just He looks like a little porcupine of a man, and he thinks, scrunches up his nose, says, no, I can't say I found anything of note on him. They had a
01:03:40
Speaker
probably a couple, a bit, a bit of coin, but, uh, no, there was no, no letters or instructions or anything like that. If that's what you're looking for. but Okay. Let's go where they live. Wait, can I ask who some first, like, you know, what's going on? No. In the city has anything interesting or fishy stood out to you recently since the princess's disappearance? Oh, Well, there's, uh, been an uptick in bodies. I can tell you that much. I got, uh, I got three on my, on my table the other night. Uh, speaking of wealth and moon dark is, uh, Riggs's whole crew got wiped out. Best I can tell, uh, someone broke into my shop night. The princess went missing took some, uh, took some reagents, some certain, pardon, some acid, a couple of vials of acid that I had.
01:04:38
Speaker
powerful stuff. You could melt their steel grates with that or a liver in about three seconds. That was not us, right? That was you. Shit. That's what I thought. I thought we stole from someone else. No, you came back here to the place you work because you knew where to find reagents to melt a steel grate. Damn. I think I sided with the wrong guy.
01:05:04
Speaker
Clay is blank faced. I will say whatever or whoever killed Ray Exuna and, and Patrick's is, uh, I don't know something. I've never quite seen anything like that. Do you know what could have caused those kinds of wounds? Something heavy. But beyond that, I mean, there was a combination of crushing and piercing is, uh, it's pretty rough. I'd be, uh, be glad you didn't see them. Seen anything like it before. You know, I can't, can't say that I have nothing, nothing quite to that level. I mean, Best I can guess is maybe some sort of war pick, but we have to be one one big son of a bitch to wield something like that. And no one else has come through here. Anyone noteworthy? I mean, nothing out of the ordinary. Guy gets into a bar fight, gets his glass bottle in the eye, or banana as it were. Yeah, help him out. Guy gets appendicitis. I help him out. Yeah.
01:05:55
Speaker
they You'd be shocked at how similar the symptoms are, frankly. but da yeah i mean What can I say? It's business as usual. I'd say for the most part, to mean people are on edge. If anything, there's been a downturn in business. I feel like there's a larger presence of the gods as of late. I feel like my usual clientele are laying low for the time being. That makes sense. Yeah, I think we're all trying to lay low. It's kind of scary what happened to Riggs and Una and Patrick. Do you know where Wolf and Moon Derek were staying? Do I know where they're staying? No, you don't you don't know. He says, that nah, I mean, I prefer not to know, frankly. They come in, I do a job, they go home, everyone's happier.
01:06:39
Speaker
As he's talking to you, he looks over at glimkey and then he looks back at you and then he looks at glimkey again and he immediately is like looking at your hair. Forgive me if for being a forward, but I know some people who would pay a small fortune if you let me turn that into a wake. What do you say? 20 gold pieces? Wow. That's insultingly low. And no. Oh, okay. I don't know where you buy your wigs, mister, but, uh, 20 just for the raw materials. That's a pretty, pretty good price in my opinion. How many people have you seen like this? You think this is worth 20 gold pieces the one time you see this in your life? Give me a break. I need a minute to try add one. All right. All right. Sorry. I forgot. I forgot to ask. Sorry. Jeez. 25. No, absolutely not for sale.
01:07:27
Speaker
All right. All right. All right. Anyway, anything else I can do for you, Clay? I got ah i got some kidneys to sort. No, thanks. You've been a great help. We're but just going to go. All right. Well, come on over if you ever get stabbed or shot or otherwise need medical care because Fuzam's the best. That's what they all say. Yeah, yeah. That's what I tell people too. Thanks. You go back outside and it's still raining. It's not, it's not like a heavy rain, but it's enough that it's not comfortable to be in unless you're glimkey. Thing, two of us aren't in it. Maybe you gotta swing that umbrella over here. I do think we're friends, actually, glimkey, and umbrellas is a friends-only activity, sorry. Oh, so you're friends with the person who works with the people that try to murder you. Sorry, I don't want to start a divide here, but what the fuck is going on?
01:08:20
Speaker
I want to start a divide because earlier you were like, Clay, I don't think Fondylin's our friend or something. I honestly don't remember what you said, but it was mean and it was divisive and Clay has been very nice to me. And I don't know why Clay was doing criminal things, but I assume that they had a good reason because when I do criminal things, it's for a very good reason. So Clay, did you? Oh no. Shit, we went over this already. It wasn't a good reason. It was art school. oh Yeah, I'm sorry. i ah good reason Maybe I'm just foreign to the concept of doing illegal and criminal things like murdering and stealing and kidnapping. So, you know, forgive me for my naivete in this subject. But just from an outsider's perspective to this whole criminal organization thing, this is all fucked up, to say the least. You somehow kidnapped the princess. You were, I don't know, involved in countless counts of blackmail that probably instigated your attempted murder. You are somehow working for the same people that got hired to kill this woman, and none of us have even, you know, crossed those lines to each other yet until just this very moment when Sketcho, Doctor, Kidney, Surgeon, Man connected the dots. It just is a little fucked up, okay? Everything smells fishy and you two are fish, okay? I didn't know they were criminals. I didn't know that they were going to try to kill someone. Clay, they made you steal acid. You broke into a doctor's office and stole acid. Why did you think that's me? Why'd you just automatically assume that it was me? You look so suspicious when the doctor said that. I can't deny it.
01:09:58
Speaker
i I did not know that Moon Derek and Wolf were the same people that tried to kill Faunalyn. I did not know that we were going to kidnap the princess, okay? I was just trying to make a bit of money, live my life, you know, do do honest work, but I honestly didn't know what is going on. But now we know that they're connected. I think we have a bit of a lead to go on, because we're investigating the same thing. Faunalyn's assassination attempt and the kidnapping of the princess. And I think that maybe we should keep going along with what we've discovered and we'll we'll find the answers to all of our questions. Yeah, that's good enough for me. I don't know. Glimp you whatever your problem is. But Clay, that's good enough for me. ah ah Yeah, I guess so.
01:10:53
Speaker
You didn't have to trust us. I'm really sorry that you got caught up in this. You... I'm not. ah Things have been going crazy in the city and I... I don't know. You're a nice guy and we've already done that whole thing with the eyes of Eredinine and I think we work well together. So, you know, I'm really glad for your both of your help. And somehow, the one that's closer related to the murderers has wandered me over again. If only you could learn a few things about the humility that it takes to somehow be murder adjacent and still be the more compelling partner. The day I learn humility is the day I truly lay down in the street and let the carriages run over me. Which, by the way, how was that when it happened to you?
01:11:43
Speaker
I'm surprised the experience hasn't humbled you. Nope, not yet. Nothing will. You're up on a high horse. It's amazing you can still be up there now that you've been hit by a carriage. Because I'm not blackmailing or killing people. Here's the thing. I'm involved in this business because I care about something and I need that boon so that I can do a lot of good for a lot of people that I care about. Clay is in this business because she made a mistake. and they want to put it right. You're in this business because you want to be entertained, because you want to be a hero, because you want to tell stories. Do you think that that makes you morally superior to us? You're a voyeur in the most horrific thing that has happened to two people in this city, including myself. And for the record, you're not even being nice to me. So when the bards sing your story, they're going to call you Glimky, the kind of mean one that was there for the street cred.
01:12:36
Speaker
ah Okay, guys, guys, i think we I think we all need to get out of the rain and calm down a little. I'm not in the rain, I have an umbrella. I like the rain. Okay, fine, well'll we'll stay here, but I think we still need to, you know, calm down and and talk this through. Klaya's become the child of divorce of two parents they didn't ask for. I think it's me and Glimpy are the old ones.
01:13:05
Speaker
You're definitely mom and dad. I've said what I needed to say and my stand by all of it. So, um, let's go solve some murders. Agreed. Yes. Okay. Yes. We all agree. Do you think that the eyes of Aridini might know something about who could have hired my friends to do this work, to do the, the shit things that they've done? I think that's a brilliant idea. They seem like they know stuff that goes on. Yes. Do you know, I actually was wanting to pay them another visit because We're going to this party and I wanted to ask them about Bic and The Bicford and Bacra pale me because I'm not going to blackmail them. I saw the faces you made. Nobody freak out. I'm not doing the blackmail thing right now. If I know a bit about them, I can ingratiate myself better. Perhaps get a little more information. And for what it's worth, we do have this list of ships that we need to investigate. And considering the connection to whoever might have hired these guys, at least we have a list of names to reference.
01:14:06
Speaker
my god thats two the that the the you who was there enough to record Clay and the others dropping off the princess. Do you think they might recognize the name of the ship from the list that we have? I mean, they were there. And Clay, I mean, did none of these stand out to you, starting with the K? We have all of them. I wanted to ask again, but I feel like I've made so many retroactive texts on the K name. No, we have the list. No, at this point, you've looked and you've thought you cannot recall the name. Damn. Like, if I could roll again, I would, but I feel like I've already rolled so late. Even with the list, we got a list. Do I know anything new from with the list? No. Sorry. Okay, well, that's a good point, though, about the kenku. Someone else who was there that night. Yeah, it's worth a try. If anyone is gonna be half knowledgeable since this other organized group of people has unfortunately all been murdered, maybe the eyes of Erdening would be a good stop. The recording thing seems like a handy thing to have and, you know, Jimmy and Brutus. They seem like the type where if we do a favor for them, they'll do a favor for us. So, you know, it might be good to see what they know. I mean, we have definitely won our graces with them with the whole silver weapons thing, so. Maybe they can tell us some more. Back to the sewers. What time is it? It's early evening, like maybe around six o'clock or so. Plenty of time to do that sort of thing.
Sewer Survival Adventure
01:15:40
Speaker
So you recall there was a particular sewer grate. It takes you a bit of time to find exactly where it was. It wasn't too far from the church. You can probably
01:15:51
Speaker
work your way back to where it was before too long and you pry open the grate and you climb down the ladder. The water is higher than the last time you were here. The rain is clearly having an effect. There's a few spots that are a little washed out. You've got to leap over them or carefully pick your way across a ledge. I'm going to need a group survival check as you try and navigate your way through the sewers back towards the hangout of the eyes of air demean. Well, how do you do a group check? Everyone makes a check and if your combined efforts are good enough, then you will make it. 21. Nine. Five. You wander around for probably the better part of an hour.
01:16:44
Speaker
At a certain point, you realize you've seen this particular tunnel at least twice before. You decide to try something a little different. You turn left when you've previously turned right, and things look familiar. You think. Who is taking the lead in all of this? Clay knows the sewers. Yeah. Faunalyn somehow rolled the highest survive. Honestly, I guess Faunalyn's just like been through it today. Like we get up to the sewers and Faunalyn just like takes off her wig and hands it to Clay. Just like rolls up her onesie and starts mucking. Starts wading through the muck. Guys, are we going the right way? Yes. Where was their hideout? It's this way. Duck. There's a thing. Okay, now hop. There's another thing.
01:17:39
Speaker
Watch out for that snake. Let's go. Keep up. Glimkey, run faster. Your legs are short. Fondling, give me a perception check as you leave this group. That's a seven. Do you see any rats in the sewers? You have at various points. I think you've spent not a lot of time with wererats enough that you can probably... There's some note there's some appreciable differences. They're clearly larger. The glint in their eyes. Yeah, you see some rats with dumb looking eyes, no wicked glints or otherwise. This particular tunnel is devoid of any rodents. It is honestly pretty clean. It's not a poop sewer as we've established, but it's still, it's still grimy. This particular tunnel seems to be relatively clean, comparatively clean, and you keep going. Funneling. As you are walking forward,
01:18:39
Speaker
Or maybe it's less of a faunalyn thing and more of a glimkey and clay thing. As you are walking behind faunalyn, you watch as suddenly she finds herself floating off the ground. Floating? Almost just a couple inches, but you see faunalyn is suddenly suspended in the air. ah Good, more bullshit. And as you look, And as you look, you see that the edges of her dress are starting to dissolve. Ooh. Faunalyn, you are suddenly in an extreme amount of pain. What the fuck? I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. It's not a dress, by the way, guys. It's a onesie. It's a Snuggie. Oh, right. Sorry. It's a Snuggie.
01:19:28
Speaker
Ugh, ugh, stupid, stupid idiot man. With alongside Corona, lasagna, and Garfield exists on the world of zap. Of course. That is a, oh, I'm so dextrous, that's a 17. 17. Phonoine, you find yourself suddenly suspended in a substance that feels almost like jelly. No! It is thick, extremely viscous, completely transparent, and it burns. But as you feel yourself getting pulled into this thing, you have the foresight to reach back out, you stick your umbrella out, you pop the top and dig your blade into the stones of the sewer and you're able to pull yourself out. I need everyone to roll initiative. Oh my gosh. Conelans day gets worse. I'm going to call it a chemical peel and I'm going to say that tomorrow at the mall, I'm going to be extra radiant.
01:20:19
Speaker
Uh, that's a 10 for initiative for me. ah got a twelve I got a I got a 13. Okay. So we are going to start with Glynki. As you look a little closer, you can kind of make out the outline of a creature. if you can even call it that. It appears to be cuboidal in shape. It nearly fills the tunnel that you are trying to walk down. And now that you take a second, you can see, actually for what it's worth, you all you all have darkvision, so yes, you can see some bones just floating in the middle of this creature, this gelatinous cube. What in McCrogg's name? Glimpy, what do you do? The blade, as quick as lightning, out of this sheath. I'm gonna run up and try to slice through this thing. Okay. Try, I got a 21. Oh, that's a hit. Nice. I'm gonna use Divine Smite.
01:21:15
Speaker
oh okay okay you we're starting immediately sorry blade is glowing white hot with divine energy as i do nine slashing damage and then an additional 2d8 radiant damage yes nice so nine slashing and then another 11 radiant damage as i slice through the cube okay not too shabby anything else you want to do Sorry, did Funneling get out? Or is she still... Yeah, she is standing right next to it, but is no longer floating. Okay, I guess there's not much else I can do now.
01:21:53
Speaker
Okay, so you run up, slash into this thing. There's a a sizzling noise. You notice some of the ooze, it kind of melts away from it, off the gown and off your blade, puddling around your feet, but it is otherwise looking pretty fine. The gash that you carve into it immediately seals back up. oh And it is Clay's turn. Does it look hurt at all by the damage? Hard to say. It doesn't appear to have any biology that you recognize. There aren't any visible organs, skin, blood. It seems like a chunk of it was carved out of it. Just now, by
Visions and Revelations
01:22:30
Speaker
Glimky's strike, it definitely looks a little smaller than it did before. In patching up that gash, you can see that it is compressed slightly, but it's hard to say just how harmed it is.
01:22:40
Speaker
Is it moving? At the moment? No. Then I would like to cast Fairy Fire at it. Okay. Now that is a dexterity save? Yes. Dexterity save. Okay. That'll be a fail. Oh. It's now glowing. Any attack roll against it will have advantage. And it can't be invisible. That's what that spell does. Amazing. okay so suddenly this thing becomes much easier to see what is the color of the outline red okay you uh you hold forth your amulet and this beam of red it almost looks like a like a flicker of flame goes shooting forward from your amulet and it just
01:23:26
Speaker
envelops this creature. It doesn't seem to harm it at all, but it is now fully illuminated. You can all see it extremely clearly. You see inside of it that there are little bones. You see that there are scraps of cloth or metal. You see a couple pieces of silver and it is illuminated. Funnel it. Whatcha doing? Cool, I am ah deploying the top half of my parasol to reveal the rapier inside, and I am gonna do a wee slash sneak attack, if you will. Okay, and you have advantage. Why do I? First one is an 18 to hit, and the second one is a 16 to hit. That hits. Woo! And so that's gonna be a 1d8 plus three, I rolled an eight, which is an 11, and then I add my sneak attack.
01:24:17
Speaker
bonus which is an additional 2d6 sneak attack kind of sick i'm a fan that's an additional three so 14 damage this thing seemingly lacks a traditional body But we here on Bard Soup, we don't judge. We accept all bodies, no matter how cuboidal they are. It may be hard to sneak attack something like this, normally, but you watch Glimpy carve into it, and you watch as it starts to stitch itself back up, you hop up and you just thrust forward into the same spot that just sealed up, and it shrinks down again further. And you watch as you rip your blade free, just globs of jelly go spraying out into the water of the sewer that you're walking next
Negotiating for Secrets
01:25:00
Speaker
to. Anything else you wanna do?
01:25:02
Speaker
I don't really think there's anything else I can do, so I know. Okay. The creature is going to surge forward. I am going to need Faunalyn and Glimky to make dexterity saving throws. I guess that's something I could've done. I guess so. You know, we like but we we learned through experience. I could've moved my body. Suck me into a gelatinous cube once, shame on you. Suck me into a gelatinous cube twice, shame on me as I am. Shame on me. That's a 12. 11. Would you believe a 12 is what you needed? Ah, wow. Fondling, this creature comes surging forward, and but we won't say it's intentional, but it's slippery, you see it's about to envelop you, and you reach for the nearest thing you can to push yourself forward, which just so happens to be Glimky's shoulder. So you place your hand down and push forward, Glimky, you stumble forward and suddenly find yourself suspended in jelly.
01:25:57
Speaker
Nice. You are going to take 11 acid damage and you are engulfed, which means you are currently, you cannot breathe, you are restrained, and you feel yourself being melted by acid. Nice, restrain me, I can still attack and stuff, I just can't move. You can still attack, you'll be with disadvantage, you cannot move. Nice, easy peasy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, the creature pulls you in, is disintegrating you, and it is now your turn. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is exactly what I was hoping was going to happen.
01:26:39
Speaker
All right. So, I'll just try to attack, I guess. Okay. So, let's see. With disadvantage, I got a 13. With a disadvantage, you got 13. You just still hit my man. Yeah, let's do it. And you know what we're gonna do? I think I know. We're gonna device might again. My man. Let's go. Because why not? Why not? Okay, so that's six slashing. Oops. Oh man, not as good this time. Six slashing, six radiant damage. Okay, almost in an inverse as to what happened last time. You slash down and your blades start to glow and it burnt into it. This time you are restrained, you cannot move, but your blade starts to glow brightly and you watch as some of the goo and the jelly around you dissipates, it melts away, and you're able to get enough freedom to swing your blade up and carve into it.
01:27:32
Speaker
the jelly immediately congeals around you again and you're restrained once more but for a second you break free and do some good damage to it with that being said how would you i have uh like a shove action i'm guessing that's not gonna help me you know as a bonus action no Unfortunately. I regret to inform you. Can't shove myself out of the monster. No. No, believe it or not, someone could reach in and try and help you. Yeah, they're not gonna do that. But, you know, they did shove you into the cube, so... You're not gonna do that. You can say.
01:28:06
Speaker
From the outside perspective, this creature does look like it's taken a bit of a beating. You watch as some of these cuts don't quite seal up properly. There's a bit of a trickle of this this clear liquid coming out of it, and you'd say it's reduced to about half its original size.
Ballroom Strategies
01:28:20
Speaker
Hell yeah. And with that, we go back to clay. Can I attack it with my mace and also try to reach the flinty? You would have to do one or the other. Oh, I'm just gonna attack it. I'm just thinking because of the Faerie Fire, whatever, I actually just said regular.
01:28:39
Speaker
and not this event. Oh, you would have. Yeah, it's fine. I hit it anyways. But yeah, good point. It's Zach El season right now. I keep taking these. Oh, you're fine. We need a party name on the rumpus. You can say it's Zach El season. Oh, the rump. Okay. It's Zach El season, but rumpus dub season. Am I right? Let's go. So Clay, you run up Mason hand. You're trying to beat this thing or yeah, you're doing that right. I'm just hitting it. Yes. Kept giving me an attack roll with advantage. With advantage, I rolled a back 20, so... Let's go! Doesn't mean better than that. So it'll be 2d6 plus 1. Six. Six. Demos. Anything else you want to do?
01:29:28
Speaker
Can I as a bonus try to reach for... No, but it is a full action. Not within nothing, so I can't do everything. Okay. You run up, you hit it, funnel it. It is your toying. Okay, I am going to sneak attack with my rapier again. I'm going to try and carve a glimpy shaped hole. Of course. Oh, aren't I proficient? 17, that's a 23. 23 will hit. that is eight damage plus that's 15 damage. Okay. Yikes. It is looking pretty rough. not Not dead, but looking pretty rough. Anything else, Faunalyn? Yeah, I'm going to bonus action disengage.
01:30:18
Speaker
and use my movement to shimmy out of the way. This thing doesn't seem to have a tremendous amount of range, so I'm just gonna kinda kind of get 20 or so feedback. Okay. You run 20 feet away, it lashes out of the tentacle, and you deflect it with your rapier. But not a tentacle, but like a pseudopod, just like a piece of it just lunges forward, bursts out of it, and you disengage, you are ready for it. As it does, I go, ew, no thank you. And we go to the cube. At the start of its turn, Glimpy, you are going to take 6, 12, 20 acid damage. oh I should have been nicer. You're going to die in there. I regret that my last words to you will be cruel ones. It's fine. It's fine because I'm unconscious, so i don't worry. So Glimpy passes out from getting his skin and his bones melted. Better kill it because I'm about to die.
01:31:13
Speaker
It's fine, I'm just unconscious. It is going to start to pull away. Yeah, you're gonna have to kill it. I mean, I'm done. I mean, I'm uncomfortable. You're gonna have to kill it. It is going to move 30 feet away from you, Clay. Wait, do I get a... You can take an opportunity attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, so 20. Okay. You hit. Give me some damage, please. So that's one, two, six plus one again? Yes. Three, four. Okay, you hit it and it it wiggles, it jiggles. There's like this sound wave that kind of reverberates through it, but it is still alive and it's moved 30 feet back down the tunnel away from you. Glimpy, I'm going to need a death saving throw, please. No problem. my god No problem. No problem. No problem, that's just one fail.
01:32:12
Speaker
And if I take damage in one turn... That'll be another fail. Shouldn't it be two? Only for but like ah a proper attack. This will be a source of damage, which is yeah which just one fail. Play. It is 30 feet away from you and it is your turn. If I try to heat up the cube, will that... Am I in danger of hitting good key? Depends on the spell. Like if it's a fireball, then yeah. If it's something a little less severe, which given you're level three and you can't cast fireball, then it could be okay. What's what's the spell? Scorching Ray. It's 120 feet, so I don't have to chase out there. Okay. I mean, only one way to find out, I reckon. So you can make three attack rolls, one for each ray that you shoot. And they're all at advantage.
01:33:04
Speaker
Yeah, I suppose they are. First one's in 18 plus six. Next one is 13 and the last one is 16. You hold forth your amulet once more, and you watch as the the blue dragon scale of Krigamond on this amulet. It starts to glow bright. You watch as three bursts, these three scorching rays of blue flame go bursting forward. oh Like depth charges. They hit hit the the cube. You watch as it just starts to writhe and wriggle. Give me damage. Is that 66?
01:33:40
Speaker
Yeah, 2d6 per... Okay, so give me 6d6 fire damage, please. First one's a 6. Okay. 6 plus 1, 7 plus 1. No! Plus 2, so we're at 10 damage. That's crazy. Plus 3, so we're at 13. Oh my god, come on. And then this is the last one. Another six. So what is that? 19. Yeah. Okay. Clay, there is a burst of flame, brighter and hotter than anything you've conjured before. And you watch as the tunnel is suddenly illuminated in this bright blue light that just shoots down the tunnel, the the sewer tunnel, like a rocket taken off. For a second, you're blinded. You've got this dark vision. It's pitch dark in here. You've been relying on your dark vision for a second. You're blinded. And as your vision clears,
01:34:39
Speaker
The cube is gone, and you see Glimky's body lying on the stone floor. Do you wish to move? I've run up to him. You run up, and it is Phonoine's turn. Oh, shit. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to sprint up, and I am going to attempt to stabilize him. And I have no healing or anything, so it's just straight up. Can you bonus action sprint? I can bonus action dash. Okay, because you will need to do that. That's the only reason you're able to make it there. I'm a rogue. you're 50 feet away but because you can bonus action dash you sprint down this tunnel sliding on this last remnants of booze and you run up and try to administer some CPR because in the movie CPR fixes everything I think in this case also just wiping the ooze off of him I'm like the ooze is bad let's get that shit off of him yeah give me a medicine check
01:35:29
Speaker
All right, please don't kill Glinky Zach. The viewers won't like it and neither will I. Oh, that's a 19. Are you just using your hands? I don't have anything. I'm not touching it with my hands though, I'm using my sleeves to get the ooze off of him. You start wiping away at his face and his arms, his exposed skin, the pieces of his his clothing which have started to get chewed away and disintegrated. And for a second, everything seems okay. And then you realize you've gone acid all over your outfit. And also, Glimpkey's all right.
01:36:08
Speaker
Unconscious, but all right. Okay, Clay, I don't think he's going to die, but honestly, I don't know what the hell he's doing. He might already be dead. Do corpses breathe sometimes? Like a death rattle? Is there a way to heal someone without using this spell? No. He will wake up after a certain amount of time. If you leave him long enough, he should wake up on his own, or you can use magic or potion or whatever. I want to give him some health back. I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds. Hold that thought. Oh. Glimky. Mm-hmm. The last thing you remember is your skin burning.
01:36:55
Speaker
The leaves in your hair burning, everything's burning. You had to shut your eyes because it hurts so bad and you thought your eyes might melt if you didn't, but the burning stops and you open them and you find yourself standing in the foothills of a familiar mountain range.
01:37:26
Speaker
several months since you've seen this
01:37:30
Speaker
was your last night in dwells to be precise
01:37:36
Speaker
look around you and you see impossibly tall mountains as far as the eye can see
01:37:43
Speaker
What's happening?
01:37:48
Speaker
Huh? What do you do? Oh, shit. Do I see other people? Can I see other tree fellows or any of the other people? No. You look around. You don't see people. You don't see the signs of people, buildings or smoke or roads. You just see just see mountains. OK, well, this sounds familiar, so I guess I start walking.
01:38:23
Speaker
You don't know how long you walk for. It could be seconds, it could be days. But the mountains get closer. You start to make your way upwards.
01:38:35
Speaker
And one of them has a bit of a golden tint to it. You fix your eyes on it, and as you do, the ground beneath you starts to shake. And you watch as the mountain bursts forth from the ground, taking to the sky. And you see that it It flaps its large wings, impossibly large wings. You're nearly blown off your feet back down the mountain that you're currently on.
01:39:14
Speaker
It lands and it cocks its head and fixes just one massive eye the size of the moon upon you.
01:39:24
Speaker
Grimkichu, fellow. Back again, are we? A lot sooner than I'd liked. We really ought to stop meeting like this. It's bad for your health and bad for my plans.
01:39:42
Speaker
Yeah, I don't want to be doing this either. I keep seeming to get myself in sticky situations. What are your plans for me exactly? Because you know it's hard to see hard to see the path sometimes. Perhaps I shall give you a better view then. And the creature extends one of its wings down towards you.
01:40:14
Speaker
and he does
01:40:18
Speaker
these massive wings beat and slowly you're carried up into the sky these mountains below you they fade away until they look like just specks little rocks in the distance You soar through the sky. The air grows cold, but you don't seem to feel it. It's like it's around you. It's part of you. It's outside of you. And as the nature spirit Malari carries you through the sky, you hear its voice once more. Carry my name upon your lips and I shall remember yours when the time comes.
01:41:03
Speaker
You look down at the ground below you, you look out behind you at its tail feathers, each of them as tall as the palace itself in Ardenine. And you notice that the tips of these feathers are starting to fade away. They're leaving a trail behind you, these little black fibers extending out behind you, leaving a trail through the sky. You look back forward. And you notice that the wings are bones. They're skeleton wings. You look down upon where you're sat.
01:41:46
Speaker
There are no feathers. There's no muscle. There is no substance. You are sitting upon a skeleton and it starts to hurdle towards the ground. You're falling. You're falling. And the ground is coming so close. There's no response. In the distance far below you, you see what looks like a cloud. And as you get closer, you see it's actually a tree. A great tree with ash gray leaves.
01:42:29
Speaker
And as the bones of Milare fall apart around you, you find yourself falling through the sky, only to land in the branches of this tree. And you think it'll hurt. You think it'll pierce you and tear at you, but it cradles you. You are brought low to the ground and land on your feet, unharmed, despite the great distance you fell.
01:42:57
Speaker
And then you wake up. Clay and Floneline, as Clay casts this spell upon Glimpkey, you notice that there is amongst the tangled mop of hair and branches and leaves, you notice a leaf that you don't think existed before. One small little ash gray leaf. Clay, how much HP does Glimpkey get back? Oh my god. What?
01:43:31
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Did we just meet Glimky's god? He's a paladin of something. I think he just got corrupted by another one. Oh that's creepy as hell. Sounds not good for you. Oh my god. Is this so sad? I don't think he wants us to be a little hero. You can have 11 health back though. Hey, let's go. Yeah. Nice. I'm back. He doesn't say that.
01:44:06
Speaker
Editors now cut that shit out. Damn. Dang. Yeah, that's intense. I kind of feel like I get what the Omen is saying, but we'll discuss it later. Clay, you see, uh, the burn marks kind of fade away as this, this blue flame envelops his body and still looks a little rough. Some of his hair's a little, you know, he'll have some split ends to be sure. The leaves actually do seem remarkably intact, but yeah, Glimky is not dead, which isn't something he could really say about a minute ago. That was close. You okay? Never been better, thanks to you guys. Yeah, what was that thing? I died for a minute. Yeah, it was really gross. I have no idea, but it's through now, so what were we doing?
01:45:06
Speaker
How dead were you? Were you conscious the whole time or were you like really, like really- Oh no, I just, you know, took one, two, uh, too many hits to the old jelly boy. Got a little sleepy. I'm fine. Truly. Hey, is it me or does he not seem fine? I'm no doctor, but guys he's not fine at all. yeah What's a jelly boy? Is that urban slang? What are you- The thing I was just eaten by. Oh! I thought you meant your brain, which also seems a little bit jelly right now. Well, yeah. Isn't it always? Should we, I don't know, take a nap? I don't, what do you need, Glimky? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We came all this way. Let's go talk to, um, Johnny, Johnny Na Bones or whatever. Okay. I'm only offering this because I think you died for a second. Do you want a piggyback ride?
01:46:06
Speaker
Because Clay is very strong. No, no, no, no. We're good. We're good. In fact, I can also, he looks down at his hands and like a little little bit of energy kind of sparks off of them. I can just, you know, I'll be feeling right as rain in no time. And I'm going to give myself 10 more HP. Clicky, you touch your, your hands to your chest. And you watch as a gray light emanates from your fingertips. what It's gone in a second, but you feel better. Right as rain. Yeah, see? And I hop to my feet. I shake the rest of the acid goop off of me. Hey, let's get to it, gang. Okay. Did you know that your leaves are, I don't know, turning to dust or something? You're going a little gray. Yeah, you're going gray.
01:46:57
Speaker
I am 80, I should remind you. Oh. And when Glimpy like turns away to lead the back, telly ho gang! You can tell that he's obviously hiding his face from you. Aw. And face to camera as it were, his face is horrified and he's like trying to like look up at his branches with, you know, failing to do so because they're on top of his head. This way! You continue on for a little while longer. Probably another 20 minutes or so. And this time the tunnels actually do start to feel familiar. And after a little bit, despite how wet the sewer is, how much additional rain is pulled inside of it, there's a slight upward slope, things dry out, and you hear the chittering of rats from just up ahead. Nice. Stop kissing! We're here, you have guests! Get out of each other's beds!
01:47:53
Speaker
Jimmy, are you in here? Is that who I think it is? Ah, boy. Could you come back in like five minutes? I'm not asking for much. We could give him five minutes. Five minutes is fine. and I wanted to, I assume Faunalyn has like a compact mirror or something. Of course. Faunalyn's going to take it out and freshen herself up like super quickly and then be like, um, Clay or Grimke, you both look unsightly. Did you want to um check yourselves over really quick? Sorry, what was your name again? Oh my God. I'm going to press the compact into Glinky's hand and say, fix yourself. We're going into a business meeting. Clay, that's ah this is a really nice lady.
01:48:38
Speaker
I pulled one on the side. I think he's going through some shit now. Wait, why don't we all take five minutes? Look, how do we fix him? I think his brain has, oh my God, what if the stuff got in his ears? Oh. You guys know there's a little mirror in this thing? Clip, clip, clip. Look at that. That's neat. Oh my gosh. Yes, it's glass. Be careful. Don't break it. You'll cut your finger. Can I keep it? No, you can't keep it. It's mine. Not so nice after all. This guy, we are not meant to be friends. i do It's just not meant to be. It's fine. We could be colleagues. Do we think he got jelly in his brain and now his brain is jelly or do we think it's trauma from a near-death experience? I almost died and I handled it much better.
01:49:28
Speaker
Yeah, I think he's he's looking a little gray. I don't know if something's going on, but he he definitely looks shocked. He's in ah Oh, okay. I've been in shock before. This is fine. I i actually, I think I know what to do. Okay, Gleamkey. Gleamkey's right next to you. Yeah. He's going to sit down right here. And if it's okay with you, I think you should take off your backpack because it looks very heavy and Clay has been working out lately and Clay wants to get stronger. So Clay wants to carry it so that they can grow their muscles. Is that okay? Do you guys ever think about dying? Yes, let's talk about it. What do you think about dying? I just feel like if I were to, I'd be like letting a lot of people down. Do you ever feel like that? Yes, I do feel like that. Clay, do you? Yeah, it was a really close call back there. Are you sure you're okay to continue on?
01:50:21
Speaker
I think so. I'm just, you know, things have been put in perspective. Yeah. No, tell us more about it. What's, what's been put in perspective. What are you feeling? Talk about all your feelings. Uh, you know, maybe later. Okay. Well, if you are thinking about death. Thanks for the tasty dry dust and mirror. Yes, you can keep it. It's fine. No, no, it's fine. Take good care of it. It's an heirloom. I, you know, things are, you know, it's fine. We're good. But they don't have to be good. Funnel it. monoli you just they are guys
01:50:52
Speaker
yes hey dog yeah yes i know you yes yeah We've been through some stuff. Yes. We're not friends. Jimmy Naubone's walks around the corner holding a Scooby-Doo style sandwich, just ridiculously tall. He says, Sorry, this thing's take time, you know? Can't just walk away from this. Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't know how Brutus is going to feel about you just walking in here. It's kind of one of a hideout. I guess maybe I shouldn't have brought you here in the first place. It's fine. It's fine. That's my, I will fight about it. We always make up or whatever afterwards. He takes a sandwich and eats it in one bite and says, what can I do for you? A moment, Jimmy. Go, I don't know, make another sandwich.
01:51:37
Speaker
gri key are you okay do you know i'm good that thing was pretty big if you don't see me i'm not speaking to you i'm speaking to my traumatized friend i mean acquaintance i mean colleague everyone shut up are you okay yeah yeah yeah yeah we're good we're good we're good we're good well it's okay if you're not good you just went through something scary oh that's fine no we're good you know just got some you know i got stuff to deal with okay in here you know he gestures to his head Yes, I think you have slime in your ears, so I think that's worth looking into. But then also, I have very recent experience with almost dying. So, you know, I'm kind of the expert. I'm better at it than you because I never went unconscious, actually. Oh. Not that it's a competition. Well, it's starting to feel like it. Oh, he's coming back to himself. He's starting to not like me again. Good. This is good. This is great. Okay, Clay, orinky talk to the Ratman. Hi, Johnny. Jimmy.
01:52:28
Speaker
and Don't worry about it. A lot of people get that wrong. Even people who think, you know, they probably shouldn't. My parents, the guy who gave birth to me, he he gets it wrong sometimes. So don't just feel bad. Brutus, we're looking for these two. And Clay, hold up the sketches. Okay. Sure. By all means, come on in. Yeah. Hey, Brutus, they're they're back. Yeah, we we just had a few more questions to follow up on our last one about the princess. Do you know these two guys? Then I pull out the sketches.
01:53:01
Speaker
Okay, so a couple points of business. This isn't a community center. We typically blackmail. and We're good at that. And go to the business. Generally, we appreciate if the business doesn't come here. just You did good, so it's fine. I won't have my rats eat you, but just point of order. Second thing, I don't think I even have to say it, but I'm not going to tell you that for nothing. You got some cash we can talk about whether or or not I know the two people in your drawing.
01:53:41
Speaker
for just decided like To be honest, just like just weigh in the things here. We marched out three days journey outside of this city and had to fight a literal giant and a dragon to get you those silver weapons that you requested. It didn't turn out to be a simple rinky-dink operation over there with the whole car carriage situation so I mean forgive me for maybe overstepping here but like what the fuck man who do you think owes anybody anything we walked out there and got into a death-defying fight with a dragon
01:54:17
Speaker
For your silver weapons, who, might I add, saved all of your rinky-dink little operations of rats from being slaughtered by a malicious force of, I don't know, prejudiced human people? And we're coming in here to ask if you recognize these two gentlemen on the papers that we have made also by ourselves. So come on, man. Let's play ball. What do we need to do to sort this out? Okay. I can tell you're going through it. Give me a gold so I can, that's it. You know, it's well, just, think it's fine. I've got a certain reputation. I can't be giving out information. very I'll like i give him a gold.
01:54:59
Speaker
Perfect. He walks up, he's this pale life man wearing sort of a robe pulled around his his his body. He takes the gold piece from you, takes the two drawings from you. No one to me. Wait, really? You don't know Wolf and Old Beck or whatever the heck they're called? Moon Derek. Should I? We mostly deal in nobility. It's more profitable that way. They were hired to kill a member of nobility. You haven't heard anything about that?
01:55:31
Speaker
God damn it. Do you want to know who might have hired them to kill someone of nobility? Attack at the terraces. That's the one. Didn't have anybody there at the time. Haven't heard anything about it since. Might mean nothing, but generally I find this. If we don't hear anything, it's because the people involved know enough to stay quiet when they need to, or at least know enough. to avoid getting overheard by us. And what kind of people are, you know, know how to avoid being seen by the eyes? Generally nobility, especially those with adequate experience in the city to know about us and what we do.
01:56:25
Speaker
Who do you think has the most connection or at least knowledge to to do that? who's Who's the sketchiest royal family that's doing the low, you know? They're all filthy. Okay. You dig deep enough, they've all got dirt on their boots. Dang it. What kind of dirt do the Bertholts have on their boots? I know I come across as gruff. And it's because I am. I'm not going to give you that information unless you pay me. I gave you one gold already. I have a question. And I answered your question. I have a different question. You didn't give me anything. If we made a list of questions.
01:57:03
Speaker
I will give you an itemized expense sheet out. That's kind of what I was thinking. Oh, good idea. I have a question for the kenku who recorded. That's a little reductive. We have multiple kenku in our employee. The kenku, you know what we were talking about. At the docks, at the Pearl Harbor. Mr. As, Pearl Harbor. That hasn't happened yet. Pearl District. Stay out of the Pearl District.
01:57:30
Speaker
Fondland takes a moment of silence.
01:57:35
Speaker
What was the question? Can we speak to what was the kanku's name? Mr. As. You can try. Sure. Why not? so And he claps his hands and this kanku comes waddling out. You think it's the same one from the drop off the other night, but you know. you're not entirely sure and it opens its mouth and you hear the sound of crumpling paper and you think, okay, this is probably probably the kenku that you dealt with before. Can we show the kenku the list of ships and see if it recognizes which one? Oh, sure.
01:58:16
Speaker
You hand him the list of ships that you jotted down. He looks at it for a second. He's got these feathery fingers. He holds the list in his, I hesitate to call it a hand, but his hand, almost like a, like a muppet finger, you know, just like kind of long and wiggly. Do they have wings or hands? Like feathered hands. He looks at the list and says, my eyes, my eyes. What? And then he kind of, he kind of winces for a second and says, Oh, I didn't see nothing. Oh, okay. Let me try. May I try? Yes. Okay. I'm going to take the list and I'm going to look at the kanku and say, hello, Mr. Raz. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. It didn't sound right. And it is lovely to meet your acquaintance, Your Majesty. It is lovely to meet yours as well. Except for like, gentlemen, you are.
01:59:11
Speaker
Okay, I am going to read you this list of ship's names, and you are going to repeat the one which you saw the princess be smuggled onto. I didn't see nothing. But you were there very closely, so you're telling us that you did not see the name of the ship. My eyes! My eyes! Oh, I thought he was saying he couldn't read. That's my bad. if I might interject. Mr. As has remarkable hearing, can recite almost any poem you can think of, though most of them fall from a questionable era in slam poetry. Not the point. Point is, he can't really see in the dark so good.
01:59:54
Speaker
Oh. Bam. Okay. Well, I'm out of ideas. einu Well, maybe he can identify someone else who was there. I'm sorry I disappointed you, Father. I'll do better next time. No. Maybe get some glasses or something. Ah. You think you're all that, but you ain't been to London. I guess now that we're here, this conversation is done, mon. And he waddles off. Oh my god. Okay, so we came all this way for, uh, Blinds is a bad kenku. But I guess this guy, like Brutus, might have some information about some certain families if we just pay him for it, so. Yes. I'm willing to pay for information on Bip and Bat, and also perhaps the humaniations.
02:00:39
Speaker
And also recreationally, Electra Voon. And also recreationally, my hosts. This is going to cost me an arm and a leg. But are we ready to give up on this lead yet? Because if we just know the name of the ship, then we'll know where in the anchor's chain to go. And it just, I don't know. I can't believe that we have to visit every island or, or, you know, I can't believe there's got to be a way to narrow this down. Maybe the king who's, maybe he knows who else was there and there's someone else we can ask or... whoa wait a minute what if just at the ball we just you just do what you do best and just gossip and if you come up with some saucy stuff someone in there is gonna want to dish their saucy info to feel like they're in the know you know you know what i'm saying like if you get people talking me like oh like learn this saucy thing people are gonna be like well i actually know of a murder plot that happened you know what i'm saying
02:01:38
Speaker
Absolutely. So I think I need some tidbits then and it's worth paying for. Yes, yes, yes. So we pay for as much information. Dude, yes. We make a list of all the saucy questions. We pay him for as much information about all of the different houses and then we go to the ball and we just dish. Because you two will be dishing too because no one dishes like servant. It will be filthy down there. It's dish about shit and then just ears to the ground. Wait till someone gives us something good. Oh, it's going to be a buffet. Someone's going to know some shit and someone's going to say something. This is the most fun you've ever been. And you were so mean to me today, but this is the most I've ever liked you. Well, I apologize.
02:02:24
Speaker
Hot gas is the great equalizer. I'm sorry for my behavior. Oh, thank you. Um, okay. I'm sorry for my behavior as well. That's all good. We're all make mistakes. Okay. Some of us bigger than others. I didn't know that I made any mistakes, but yeah, some of us bigger than others. Group hug. No, I'm not ready for that yet. Jimmy walks forward with his arms stretched out. yeah
02:02:55
Speaker
o Poke him away with my umbrella end. Brutus says, how about another trade? And that's where we'll end tonight's episode of Far... Soup. Oh ho!
02:03:16
Speaker
Well, hi there, neighbor. It's me, your humble Dungeon Master, Zach Meekle, asking for a cup of sugar. You're all out? That's okay. We still love you. I'm your miserable Dungeon Master, joined as always by Prima Zhao as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnston as Glimky Tree Fellow, and Shannon Meekle as Funnel and Vedark. You can follow us on X, Instagram, TikTok, at bard underscore soup. And while you're here, Give us a review, will ya? Five stars! The more stars the better, frankly. Anyway, we'll be back in two weeks with episode 11, so we'll see you then. Buh-bye!
02:04:07
Speaker
I love me being like, actually, Glimky's the bad guy and you not choosing to defend yourself. That's hilarious to me. I made notes for myself for that actually being like a really good learning moment for Glimky.