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Chapter 16 - Taking Stock
39 Plays1 month ago
Did the sudden arrival of four unwanted, yet inarguably invited guests ruin your recovery plans? Serve them some breakfast soup, shake them down for information, and get them out the door.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Trailer by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Dream by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: String Interlude A by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: String Interlude B by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: String Interlude C by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Ambience: Secret Garden by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: String Interlude D by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Return of a Hero by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
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Music: Cocktails and Lobsters by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
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Music: Banjo Fever by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
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Music: The World's Most Epic Sea Shanty by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Life of a Dog by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Ambience: Sewers by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Emotional Guitar Improvisation by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
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Music: Horizon Flare by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
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Sound Effect: Coin and Money Bag 8 by floraphonic from Pixabay
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Night of Danger and Escapes
00:00:03
Speaker
Thank you, Clarp, for that fascinating story about Jason Statham. Ahem. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. That's right.
00:00:16
Speaker
After a night of intrigue and espionage, our heroes found themselves in a fight for their lives against a mysterious, locusty assailant. Using every trick at their disposal, the three of them narrowly managed to avoid annihilation, and escaped into the night before seeking refuge at the Dragonheart's Cathedral.
Dreams and Altered Memories
00:00:38
Speaker
While there, they slept, and while they slept, they dreamt, or perhaps did more than dreamt.
00:00:46
Speaker
Phonlyn found herself in a carriage, amongst family, and came to realize that this was no mere dream, but more so a memory, albeit different than how she remembered it.
Arguments with Nature Spirits
00:01:01
Speaker
Glimky found himself in a familiar landscape and found himself drawn into an argument between the nature spirits Mulare and Vemul, the latter accusing Glimky's god of overstepping. In a sign of solidarity, Glimky threw away the grey acorn given to him by the spirit of the ashen tree, which angered the frog and woman.
Fiery Visions and Awakenings
00:01:23
Speaker
Clay found themselves in a dark cave, littered with bones. From somewhere in the darkness, they heard a rumbling and saw a pinprick of light which they began to seek out, only to discover that the light was a cascade of fire which quickly consumed them. The last thing they heard was a voice like rolling thunder, say something in a language they don't know.
Departures and Discoveries
00:01:47
Speaker
When at last the party awoke, they discussed the current state of affairs before learning from their associate Jimmy Naubose that the prince Elling Malphurth had apparently left the city. They decided to return home, only to discover upon their arrival that numerous party guests whom Fondland had arranged to meet were all waiting for her in the entrance hall of Berthold Manor. You already said all that.
00:02:11
Speaker
Sure, but after that travesty you called a story, I thought a palate cleanser would be wanted. Travesty? Sorry. I didn't mean that. It was fine. Really. Now on with the story.
Movie Roles and Humor
00:03:15
Speaker
It's super time.
00:03:26
Speaker
in a world
00:03:29
Speaker
wear soups aent
00:03:33
Speaker
three heroes gather to find a missing princess The first one, brought to you by the lovable Prima. I'm Prima, and I play Clay Campbell. Coming to you next June. Nice. With his Primetime debut. That's right, this movie's premiering on Primetime. It's Jordan Johnson.
00:03:54
Speaker
You can catch me in the special features playing Glinky Treefellow in this star-studded cast coming to you, I think, in June. On Primetime TV. And just in the special features, apparently. And what's that? Eddie Murphy couldn't make it? So we've got Shannon Meekle.
00:04:16
Speaker
It's so crazy you how many times in my career I have been called in to step up when Eddie Murphy steps away. He's very unreliable. What is up, Nutty Professor lovers? It is me, Shannon Meekle, and I play Faunalyn Vadar. And also the Nutty Professor in Nutty Professor 2 coming out this June. To Nutty, to Professor. And I'm the worst DM this side of the Mason Dixon line, Zach Meekle. Let's roll.
00:04:46
Speaker
You're our director. And I'm your director. The DM, it stands for Director of Movies. Director Mommy, Zack Neichel. No. Let's dive in. We join our heroes on the front steps of Earth Hold Manor.
Unexpected Guests and Revelations
00:05:01
Speaker
Fallow has just grabbed Faunalyn in and a colossal embrace. Colossal's maybe not the word for a woman who we've established would die if somebody sneezed on her at the wrong angle.
00:05:15
Speaker
Who's sneezing on fallow? I'll kill them. Why do you think she's still alive? She has stepped aside revealing, of course, that you have many a... I'm not going to call them unwanted guests, because you clearly invited them, but maybe not wanted at this time, as Lady Baccra-Prelmy, Lord Uluren-Rothbard, Lady Elektra-Voon, and the dragonborn knights Ser Kletir-Kaldar are all gathered in the entry hall of Berthold Manor.
00:05:44
Speaker
looking at you with a little bit of, yeah, a little bit of everything, a little shock, little surprise. I don't think seeing you walk in with a bunch of bandaged up arms, you got so many bandaged up arms, at least two. All of them, all six. Did we not mention that? Faunalyn's a spider person? How have we not mentioned that? She's a spider elf, yeah. Yes. But yeah, they are gathered and Fallow says,
00:06:09
Speaker
If you want, I can send them move away. They all seemed rather insistent on seeing you, though, before they heard that you had not come home last night. No, darling, I rather think I should deal with this problem head on. I'm going to rustle around in my bra for any remaining cursivice. Is there any in there?
00:06:29
Speaker
There is no crow to be found. Your wounds were attended to. You were stripped down, bandaged up. If there were any crow remaining on your person, a well-meaning nurse would have thrown it away last night. Hello, I'm so sorry. I i had crow ceviche for you and then I had to use it to save my own life. She sort of just stares at you bewildered.
00:06:56
Speaker
I don't give a shit about the ceviche. I'm just glad you're alive. No, I know, I know, you're very, it's just, it's important, these things are important, and I will get you that, Ceviche. While I'm dealing with these friends, I do think you should pack something of a go bag, just in case anyone tries to burn the manor down or anything like that. So just, you know, be prepared for a bit of danger. I recommend you pack up your valuables, you know? It's not go time yet, but any minute now. Thanks again, darling. Okay, friends, you four, thank you all so much for coming. Who wants to go first?
00:07:30
Speaker
There is a collective silence, as everyone is sort of still just stunned by your appearance. Okay. Eenie, meenie, miney. Claudia, a word in the study, please. Of course, the lady. I'm going to gesture. Clay and Glenkey, why don't you join me? Eh, okay. Yeah.
00:07:50
Speaker
you You... I don't know how much I sold it last time. It's been... Hey, if you heard any of our intros, you might have guessed we're a little rusty. It's been a good two months. I don't know if I really sold it last time. You almost died last night. Oh, we look like hell. You look like hell. You are mechanically sure. You're at full hit points. You're at full spell slots.
00:08:09
Speaker
I'm going to say maybe, you know, I won't give you any levels of exhaustion because the first one wamps hard and then it gets worse. But I will say that you're kind of limping forward. Your skin is just yeah it's hot. It hurts. They did their best with you last night at the temple, but you're still feeling pretty beat up, pretty terrible. And you limp your way past everybody and to the study, which is ah just off off the main hall, and it's this room folks have been in before. It's just a bunch of bookshelves, floor to ceiling, all sorts of tomes, and there's some comfortable chairs, and an unlit fireplace, and you limp your way over and flop down in one of these chairs, and Clitere kind of stands there awkwardly looking at the three of you.
00:09:04
Speaker
Yes, I sit as properly and as intimidatingly as I can for someone in as much pain as I am in. Sir Kaldar, how are you? I am fine, thank you. Lady Fanun, are you all right? I can come back. It just seemed like you wished to converse as soon as possible. What happened
Doubts and Transformations
00:09:27
Speaker
to you? The carriage you departed in was found burnt to a husk in the woods at the edge of the Pramia State, and as my understanding your carriage drivers' remains were found, we had assumed the worst.
00:09:42
Speaker
Thank you so much for asking. How curious. I was almost murdered last night along with my two good friends here. You see, Prince Elling Malphurth goes by the pseudonym of the Butcher and he showed up and tried to butch us to death. The interesting thing about it is that by some disgusting form of magickery, he can transform into a swarm of locusts. So I don't know where he is, and I don't know when he's going to strike again. But you know, you really can't dwell on these things, can you? What you can dwell on is the hot goss that you've commissioned. So I would love to know what you heard about Lady Electra Voon, and I'd like to know it expeditiously. And thank you again so much for your noble service. You are in fact one of the best knights in my retinue. You think you know a man, and then you find out he turns into a swarm of locusts. Yes.
00:10:34
Speaker
Funny how that goes. Never trust a... What's the male version of broad? I think we need a word from men that's like broad. A bra. Trust a bra! Okay, you were saying. Yes, Lady Voon. I have done my best to gain her trust. I have endeavored to stay close to her at all times, put myself in her service. She is...
00:11:03
Speaker
of a peculiar nature. We ventured out into the countryside after the king's summons in search of the princess she had learned of a goblin encampment a few days' ride from here, and we delved into that into their cave and searched it and fended them off, and no sight of the princess was there, no evidence that she had ever been there. She fought with a ferocity most surprising
00:11:44
Speaker
I have spent time with nobles and most, uh, rather squeamish at the sight of bloodshed, and she seemed almost to, uh, shall we say, revel in it. Interesting. I would not have picked her for a fighter, but then people do so tend to underestimate people in a wig. All right, Glittier, you've done very well. Is there anything you require of me? but and Oh, the pain.
00:12:12
Speaker
Uh, I guess just some clarification about the nature of our relationship. Are we, are you going to pay me? Oh, you're, you're in knighthood for the money. Are you? Well, I do need to eat and eating last I checked requires some form of payment. Typically. Okay. If you're hungry, go check on fallow and she'll give you a little snack. Thank you. clatia
00:12:43
Speaker
Okay, I hope you recover soon, my lady. Yes. And he stiffly walks out the door. Okay, Clay and Glimpy, quick tatter-tatter. Any thoughts about that? ah i I feel like maybe it's worth paying the man. Glimpy, you are the richest of the three of us. I think I'm working with something like three gold pieces.
00:13:11
Speaker
That sounds nice. Do you want to pay the man? No, this is not my relationship. He's, I don't know the guy. Okay. You know, I think it'd be worth paying the man too. I gave you one third of my net worth when I hit you with my carriage. Okay. And that sounds like gaslighting now. Is that my fault? Turn on each other hey now let's turn on each other. I'm just summing.
00:13:38
Speaker
Well, I just, again, this guy seemed to be, I guess, interested to some degree in helping. It's probably worth making sure that relationship doesn't sour, whether that's monetarily or something or a favor in exchange, perhaps, just to keep that in mind, because who knows? He seems to know a lot about us and our interests, and that probably is valuable to somebody else. It's a good note. I'll take that note. How much money do we all have?
00:14:07
Speaker
Okay. Favors also maybe. Favors maybe. Okay. Maybe let's, maybe we, we have a little, you could promise him something. I don't know. What interests a knight? I owe you. I could send him like a candlestick that I swipe off the mantle. I don't know. It was more like maybe like, Hey, if we get this boon, I'll make you like a royal knight or something. I don't know. what Nice. Okay. I'll send him a note later. No, you're right. I think, I think that's a good note. I'll send him a note later. Let's call an Electra. Shall we? We shall.
00:14:36
Speaker
Name Voon. Enter. The door glides open and you see Electra Voon. You notice that you made plans to meet at dawn.
00:14:52
Speaker
And despite that, she looks pristine. There's not a hair out of place. She's wearing a fresh dress. It's a familiar crimson-red color, slightly different style than the one she wore the night before. And she sort of just glides into the room on silent feet. Lady Voon, you're looking stylish as ever. Oh, thank you. I would have perhaps been more stylish if I had known you would not make our rendezvous, but...
00:15:22
Speaker
It seems you had a decent reason, and she kind of gestures at all of you. Yes, forgive me. I double-booked myself with meeting you and almost being murdered by the Crown Prince of Onos last night. Felling Malphoth tried to kill you last night? Yes, he did quite savagely. In fact, he goes by the name The Butcher, and he did his best to carve us up. Would you believe that a handful of crocivitae made the difference?
00:15:52
Speaker
I've seen many a strange thing. I see no reason not to believe it. In my experience, the Prince Malphurth is a as far-pish as they come. He's received some rudimentary sword training, but it is my understanding here would be better suited for stabbing a man in a joust or a formal duel than an assassination at attempt. What makes you say it is him? I don't really, you know, it's rather a long story. I suppose I find myself surprised that someone I believe to be as resourceful as you would underestimate their foe. Forgive me if I'm wrong and do tell me if I am. Do you not hate the man as much as I hate him right now? Really? Undoubtedly, yeah. And as people are scared upon the earth, I just would like some more information because the yelling you are describing is not the yelling that I have spent so long studying.
00:16:51
Speaker
Well, the Elling that I'm describing killed publicly is known to have killed quite brutally two criminals on the Drifting Terraces where he ought not to have been except for that he was hunting them and he's been eliminating them with quite extreme prejudice. If you had seen the depravity of his work, I think you would cease to question his capability again.
00:17:15
Speaker
You've been studying him, though, you say. I mean, I'm curious what you know, and why this is such a surprise to you. But is that, as I said, is, to my knowledge, displayed no exceptional ability, perhaps proficient with the blade, but perhaps I have underestimated you. If Elling Malfoy was the one to do this to you and your compatriots, I suppose I do not know of any particular combat prowess contained by the three of you, but three on one I would have thought he was... would not be such a problem, no?
Underestimations and Mercenaries
00:17:49
Speaker
Okay. You know, I don't really feel like going through a play-by-play with the war pick and the swarm of locusts and all the trauma that I've incurred. The point is... Zillocusts? Yes. The man, ah he he travels in swarms of locusts and he seems to command them and they
00:18:08
Speaker
could tear at the flesh of living things, as if of a mind to kill. She sort of stiffens at this description. And I'll say you're kind of sitting in this chair, obviously. you're You're sitting there. There's a big window with these curtains drawn back. There's daylight flooding in the light the morning light. She quickly walks over to the window and sort of peers out and after a minute shuts the curtains behind her.
00:18:36
Speaker
ah you You're a stupid girl. You know nothing of what you are engaged with. That is not the Prince Elling Malphur. He is a farpish nobles, farpish as farishes you. yeah That was Thayun Zaheer, a mercenary in the employ of the Lord of Quiet. You... You are lucky to be alive. You do not even know the depth of your luck. Fucking nobles. Every one of you are just so fucking brimming with privilege. You have no idea!
00:19:06
Speaker
ah Okay, do not speak to me of privilege when it is by the skin of my fingertips and by that of my friends that I am here at all. You say it is Fayoum? I insist that you tell me more at once. I'm only familiar with one individual who conjures and controls swarms of locusts. It is, as I said, one Fayoum Zaheer. He is a mercenary. He is...
00:19:34
Speaker
said to be a devotee of the Lord of Quiet. I do not know where he comes from, but by all accounts he is the most dangerous foe. If you would like, any of you may make a religion check. Yes, I was going to ask, who is the Lord of Quiet? Yeah. What's my religion? Mine is one for a cleric. 12.
00:19:59
Speaker
I got a 15. That's a natural 20. You're nicer. They're not even weighted because the opposite side comes. It's like... Yeah, it's just 20 in one. It's like you're rolling a coin. Yeah, seriously. Anyway, the three of you would know that, of course, there is the divine octad, the eight deities of Zav,
00:20:22
Speaker
that embody different elements of reality, care for different facets of existence. There are also countless devils and demons that lurk in the dark places of the universe. There is Svarakhnar, the insatiable or endless hunger. There is Vahika, the witness,
00:20:47
Speaker
The Lord of Quiet has no name, for to speak in His presence to name Him is blasphemy in and of itself. It is a creature that despises all noise and seeks to crush out all life so that silence may finally be achieved throughout the cosmos.
00:21:03
Speaker
And as this name comes to mind, it is a name you were all familiar with from perhaps childhood, your religious upbringing as this being one of the enemies of good and light, a creature that if you don't go to bed might come for you. Electra says, I take it he did not speak, did not make a noise? No, no he did not. And there was a curious quiet.
00:21:30
Speaker
Maybe. Say, the unions are here. Could be no other. How do you know if this guy unions are here?
00:21:40
Speaker
He has a reputation for efficient work. If... Well... No, please, continue. No, you go. No, you continue. No, you. Then no you, after you. No, no, I...
00:21:55
Speaker
Well, I was just going to say, I might not have had all of the information vis-a-vis who specifically attempted to murder us, but it was Malphur who pointed the blade. We heard it from his lips that he was going to be sending the butcher after us. We may have connected the dots slightly incorrectly. I'm going to look at Clay with a dirty look. Me. But regardless, we do know that he's responsible for the, uh,
00:22:23
Speaker
needless suffering and bloodshed. Interesting. Tell me, why would this mouth-earth want you removed in such a dramatic and dare I say efficient fashion? Electra, Lady Voon, I genuinely want to tell you, I think you and I are united in having a common enemy, and in my experience, that is the most profound of bonds.
00:22:52
Speaker
But the thing is, I guess after yesterday, I sort of have trust issues. So before I get into it, tell me honestly, can I trust you and are you going to double-cross us? No, you cannot trust me. But I have no reason to double-cross you. Respectfully, you are nothing to me. But I cannot trust you. No.
00:23:21
Speaker
Nor how can I toast you. We barely know each other. Well, I think we should be buddies, but that's fine. Maybe I'm just an disgusting nature. No, no. What are you intending to do? What is, what is next for the great funnel in Vedark? I'm going to find the princess and I'm going to use the boon for my own purposes. And one of those purposes will be to see Elling Malphur, at the very least exiled from these lands. I'd rather like to see him. I don't know.
00:23:51
Speaker
spanked publicly with like a hot spoon pribos face fruma didn't pretty everybody didn't like that one phone looks at glimkee and clays says if you want a different employer just says a word No! I'll have you know, Lady Voode. So this is not my employer, these are my colleagues. ah My apologies, I thought you were in the employ of Ziaha's Berthold on behalf of Lady Vedak. No. Alas, well, the offer stands if you wish to find new colleagues. That is an offer, if she especially if she is hitting you with hot spoons in public. But... That being said, I digress. Aitu would much like to find the princess. Where do you intend to search?
00:24:37
Speaker
I have been south of here. I have heard nothing credible that implies she is ventured south. I have cleared out a nearby goblin encampment. Yeah, she was not there. People have scattered throughout the lands to the south, and as far south as the Atum Mountains, with a nary a sign of her. It's like she has disappeared into until thin air. You really don't have any other leads? I've been busy at Zebo, no?
00:25:07
Speaker
Inside check. Oh, i tonight's going to be a good night. That is a 24. Oh my. Anyone else want to back me up on that little inside check or nah? Oh, I forgot to cast my spell on you again. The one that boosts. Yeah, shit. At your leisure. Do you need it with a 24?
00:25:29
Speaker
I am no help at all, I got a two. Oh, Glinky's like, wow, she's so French. There is a little bit of defensiveness that seeps in. And you get the sense that she's being genuine, she does not have a lead at the moment, and she doesn't feel great about it.
00:25:58
Speaker
Well, sadly, Electra, as you've drawn my attention to, you and I are not friends. And I'm very grateful for your generous donation of information regarding the person who tried to kill me. That was very kind of you, very decent. But seeing as beyond our common enemy, you really have no interest in helping me. I don't really think I feel like exchanging any further.
00:26:22
Speaker
words on the topic with you. So um that will be all from me. If you feel like rethinking our relationship, that would be lovely. Do you have a lead? Yes, of course. Might I ask where? It's just that you said we're not friends.
00:26:42
Speaker
She looks past you again. Is she always like this? it is Oil and water, I swear. Well, be that as it may, if you get tired of walking everywhere, perhaps a ride on my ship would be most helpful, but, as you say, we are not friends. And she turns for the door. No, you know what? I'm feeling something in the air. Don't you feel that, plain glimkey? Do you feel a certain spark of camaraderie?
00:27:10
Speaker
Why would you offer us a ride? Good question. Because I will be with you and I will be but brought in the same direction as your lead. And it'll bring me closer to finding the princess. That just makes me feel like we're more on the trail than you are. Sure. I don't know. But if I figure out the trail, I'll get there faster. No. There's a lot of boats on the sea.
00:27:38
Speaker
Garfield has one. Fair enough. Sorry, I don't mean to speak out of turnfallen, but I don't really know this woman. No, no, that was great. And to be honest, it feels like you're getting more out of us than we are of you. I mean, you told us who this attacker was, but I mean, at the end of the day, we know who sicked him on us. So regardless of his name, yeah, I don't know. Seems like scales are shifted more in our favor. That's all I had to say.
00:28:06
Speaker
Well said. Here, here. I was wrong. The spark of camaraderie I thought I felt was actually just a draft. This house is so old. Okay, bye, Lady Moon. I will be seeing you out. And she heads for the door. That's interesting. So she's got... Okay, bye. She's got sort of a like, I'm not like other nobles thing going on, eh? That's fun. Yeah. Sidebar before the next one comes in.
00:28:31
Speaker
Oh yeah. I don't know, is it just me? Like, if they were really hot on the trail, I mean hotter than us, wouldn't they have had this expert silent killer sent after them? If anything, I think it's more proof to us being on the right track. And if this person's getting ready to ride our coattails, I feel like maybe we need to start keeping people at arm's length. Okay, yeah, that's a good point. And she did straight up tell us that we couldn't trust her. So probably not the best person to get on a ship with. I mean to be honest I feel like saying that is actually more like that is a good thing to say because it's true it's like we don't really need to trust each other to like the ends of the earth but at least there's some mutual interest the same time I don't know it just feels like we can get a boat she only gave us the information because she thinks we're stupid I think
00:29:25
Speaker
Yes. We might be, but yeah yeah. We might be. She's not allowed to call us that. All the nobles, like we don't know who is in the little rat pack, like who's on Malphur's side, but she definitely isn't. I don't know where I'm going with this, really. We know she's not part of that group of enemies.
00:29:47
Speaker
Is that what you mean? Yeah, so like maybe we can somehow get her on our side and use her resources. Yeah, that's what I was trying to do. I think we can get another boat. Yeah, that's fair. I don't know, but you know, I think it's good that we didn't give anything up and now we know she's got a boat.
00:30:09
Speaker
I think it, like, let's think about it this way. that That night that came in here, he seems to be, you know, he's doing some things. He understands the relationship to some degree and seemingly it hasn't asked for too much. And maybe it's our, like, a relationship like that could be fostered. I'm just thinking, like, if we make it to the anchor's chain on this boat and then, God forbid, they get a lead or something or they find something out, they for sure are not giving us a ride back.
00:30:36
Speaker
or if it came between us and them, they're picking them. You're right. I think, yeah, something to consider. These people don't have our best interests in mind. All right, so we've elected not to ally ourselves with Electra Voon for now.
00:30:51
Speaker
I agree. Also, Gunke, you very much do work for the house. that I don't know what that was. That was interesting. Were you bluffing? or No. In the situation of employment as a gardener, yeah, but in the search and hunt for the princess, I don't think I'm an employee of yours. right Reginald Chapstick works for the the family. I don't work for you.
00:31:15
Speaker
i No, no, that's a good point. I got a bit lost in the sauce, but you're right. I have to separate the man from the Azaleas. Speaking of which, and Glimpy walks out. He walks out? Oh shit, I really wanted Glimpy here for that one. Okay, I'm gonna call in Uren.
00:31:34
Speaker
I pass him in the doorway. Yeah, he he pushes past you and almost knocks you into the doorframe and you venture out. They look bad. Better than the last time you saw them. They're still like a little wilty, but it seems like whatever emergency measures you applied after finding them in disarray last time seem to hopefully be working. They aren't worse at the very least.
00:32:02
Speaker
That's good. And Ullren Rothbard walks into the study with Faunalyn and Clay. He's wearing this heavy overcoat and he's got a top hat that he's taking off and he's rolling kind of the the edge of it between his fingers. He's kind of just this big sort of dark shape with this big jacket on. He says,
00:32:27
Speaker
Lady Funnelan, I am most relieved to see you are all right. I know we left things on a rather sour note. Perhaps it has been the wine getting the better of us, but regardless of our differences, I am glad you were not killed last night. I just wanted to say that. Thank you, Lord Ulren. Why don't you take a seat, take off your coat.
00:32:52
Speaker
ah very well. And he unbuttons it and slings it over the back of a chair and takes a seat. he's kind of just This is a gnomish chair. he It's almost like a stool for him. It's very, very small under his large frame, but he takes a seat and sort of just looks at you uncomfortably.
00:33:15
Speaker
Yes, things did end on rather a sour note last we spoke. You know, my memory is a bit hazy from the inevitable concussion, but I do remember you saying that the topic of which we spoke was not a game to you, that you grew weary of the games. I trust that when you look at me, you see the state that I'm in, you're aware of the fact that I, too, am not playing around. It's not a game to me either, Lord Rothbard.
00:33:42
Speaker
now I have a couple of questions for you. You're going to answer them will be most courteous of you. And then when you're done answering them, I will give you the promised information that I have regarding the disappearance of Lady Orsa Todara. Is that serious enough for you? He chews on the inside of his cheek for a second and says, yes, that is all I wanted last night.
00:34:14
Speaker
What is it you would like to know? What were you doing in the Copper District? Upon what occasion are you speaking of? ah Do you often go to the Copper District? I have gone there on occasion with Bickford. It is personal business. That is all I'd like to say on the matter. It's fine. I don't suppose Lady Crawlwyn and Lady Pronely are ah familiar with this business. Lady Crawlwyn does not know. Bap has made a few comments that implies some level of knowledge, but that is all. just said know i really have no No, I really have no interest.
00:35:03
Speaker
Yes, I really have no interest in blowing up your personal life. Don't worry. i'm not I'm not here for that. I just wanted to know whether the brews you sustained in the copper district had anything to do with the, I don't want to say conspiracy because it sort of raises hackles, but a conspiracy that engages numerous of your friends resulting in the kidnapping of the princess. Doesn't seem like it does. So my second question for you is what do you know of your friend's involvement in the kidnapping of Calista Galtries?
00:35:33
Speaker
My lady, you think we have something to do with that?
00:35:39
Speaker
Perhaps not you. That is preposterous. Insight check. Go for it. Hey, hey, hey. Clay, are you backing me up here? Yeah, I'm checking as well. It's a 16 for me. Yeah, I got a 16 too. Hey. Wow. The mighty 16. He seems genuinely incredulous. I look at Clay for like confirmation that she's reading it the same way that I am. Yeah.
00:36:05
Speaker
That's what I'm getting to, I guess. A nod to Faunalyn. We share a little nod. It's interesting that they don't keep you in the loop. I suppose there's a lot you all don't know about each other. Like, for example, here's my bit. Uh, Pickrel was responsible for a Lady Orsa Todara's disappearance. And why would she do that? Well, she didn't approve. I think there's much she doesn't approve of. Isn't that true? It feels like you're implying something, but I don't think I follow. No, you were just telling me about your activities in the corporate district and how Bacchus made little comments. I think we both know that she has her principles. Oh, right. Yes, the fighting. yes i'm Yes, the fighting. That's what I thought you were doing, for sure, down there. Anyway. It's just a fight club. It's nothing serious. It's just a little blowing off a little steam. Anyway.
00:37:01
Speaker
No, I think it's cool. Has Clay heard of a fight club in the Copper District? I feel like she would have heard of a fight club. You know what? Give me a... but but but but but Give me a history check. We'll say with advantage. Ooh, advantage. As if Glimky really abandoned us to go check the Azaleas. Someone's good at their job. but He was like, I don't work for you. And then immediately left the room to go do what he's paid to do.
00:37:31
Speaker
history. Oh, bad okay. I got a 10. I'd say with a 10, you are not familiar with the specifics. But I think you recall on occasion, either rigs or someone else in the crew, maybe not participating, but mentioning their plans to catch a fight and you you never went along. You don't know where these fights maybe took place, but I'd say with a 10, you think it was happening at like a blanket shop or
00:38:11
Speaker
tannery but then you remember, wait, Sten works with the tannery, so it's probably not the tannery, because then you would know. So you you like have a vague recollection of something. Oh, my God, Sten's part of a fight club. Oh, my God, Sten. Okay. I try to give Faunalyn a meaningful look, saying that, like, okay, that checks out, I guess, fight club. I'm going to insight roll to see if I know what that look is. That's a 16 again.
00:38:38
Speaker
You catch a gli- I- I- I glimmer. You catch a glimmer of recognition in Clay's big cow eye. Okay. All right. Well, I suppose that concludes our business. Best of luck with the fights. Maybe I'll come catch one. I do so enjoy a spectacle. Where's the next one? I think you'd be happier staying far away. Lady Vedark is a rather unsavory crowd that ah attends these gatherings.
00:39:07
Speaker
Oh, Rothbard, I shoved Curcivice up a man's asshole last night and then fed him to an owl bear. Tell me more about the unsavory. Did you know sphincters have taste buds? Make an intimidation roll. Um, that's an 11. They take place at the weave and flow. I have to go.
00:39:37
Speaker
Okay. I go for a high five from Clay. I give you a high five. You showed him. ah Yeah, we showed. Oh, you showed. Was that our most successful interrogation ever? So far we found out about a Fight Club. Yes. Okay. There's a Fight Club happening. Where is it? What did he say? I blacked out. I've never been successful before. Is it possible when Glimky goes out to intercept any of these guests on the outside? m Sure.
00:40:06
Speaker
who are you sniffin for i don't know i I'm like kind of curious about the French lady still. I know where her ship is called so we can steal it. Ooh. Play it back to the criminal life immediately. Reformation lasted two episodes. That was a dreamer, not clear. Yeah, let's see. Yeah, I would say, Glimky, you leave the study, reenter the main hall. At the time that you enter,
00:40:38
Speaker
Ulrin pushes past you, entering the study. You see Lady Baccra-Prelmy is there. She's in a sort of gray ensemble. She looks at you, but sort of just in a noble way, looks right through you, does not care about you in the slightest. And I'll say you hurry outside to check on the flowers. And as you do so, you see Elektra Voon and Kletir Kaldar just sort of exiting the gate at the front of the Berthold Estate. Oh, they're together? Yeah. Yeah. They're talking and just walking, walking away. Can I? Yeah, I guess catch up to them tonight. As I'm like approaching, can I hear anything as they're talking? Yeah.
00:41:30
Speaker
Do you want to give me a wee stealth check as you try and sneak forward? Yeah, just as I'm approaching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, baby! 19 plus one, 20. I am. Yeah, they appear to be in conversation and don't immediately notice you.
00:41:49
Speaker
Okay. Kletir kind of catches a ah belt loop on on the gate and fiddles with it for a second, and then follows Voon out. And I'll say they start walking down the street, and you being a gnome, you are slightly shorter than the the wall, encompassing Berthold Manor. And so you just sort of walk alongside them, and they don't seem to notice that you're there. Okay. Kletir says, it was good of us to check on Lady Vedark.
Eavesdropping and Monitoring
00:42:20
Speaker
It's a good thing she was not more seriously wounded. It seems like the city has become a rather dangerous place. Yes, it was good of us to check. I did not know the two of you were so friendly. It's very kind of you to check on her, Clatea. Of course, my lady. Just doing my nightly duty. Where do you think we will search for the princess next?
00:42:50
Speaker
I was so curious, Critter. I was asking your little questions. Nice to see you seek such a strong interest in our work. But we are going to wait around, perhaps acquire some leads.
00:43:13
Speaker
In fact, I have a very special task for you. And as they are drifting, like you kind of reach the corner of the estate and they start to drift out of earshot, you hear her say, I need you to keep an eye on the Lady Vedark and see where she decides to go next.
00:43:34
Speaker
Mm-hmm Okay, I'm not gonna interrupt. I think that's oh, I don't want to I don't want to clue them into me having heard them Mm-hmm fair. So yeah, I'll just I'm gonna keep posted up behind behind the wall. Let them like meander off and then I'll come back to this Okay. Are you trying to rejoin for the for the last conversation? ah if i Yeah, if I can, I think so. Yeah. I'll say Ulrin pushes past you once again, nearly knocking you off your feet. He kind of looks down and scowls at you and then mutters something about taste buds.
00:44:09
Speaker
and continues on his way and he leaves the door open and you hear Fondland call for Bakra and you follow in and the and the four of you gather for this last conversation. Like I said, Bakra's dressed in this gray ensemble, it's sort of a long flowing skirt and then this sort of short woolen jacket with these little black buttons going all the way up it and she enters the room and
00:44:40
Speaker
sort of crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at you. Hi, Vakra. I know it's been a couple nights and a lot has happened, but do you remember what I said that we should talk about on my way out of your very adorable party the other night? It's been like six hours. What are you talking about? Maybe like 10 if we're being generous. It's been like a full night, Vakra, okay? All right.
00:45:10
Speaker
It time goes double slow when you're fighting for your life. So anyway, I'm not in the mood for your trickery. Trickery. I invited you to my house as a sign of goodwill and you couldn't help but try and ruin the entire affair. Okay. Well, it was not that much of a party to ruin. You had an owl bear running amok, Garfield.
00:45:30
Speaker
barely made the rounds, completely phoned it in. He had a lovely time. And honestly, the ceviche was poison. Oh, don't you start. The ceviche was fine. Only six people threw up. That's pretty impressive, actually. Did anybody pass out and almost die from the ceviche? No. From any of the other appetizers? Cramps, bloating, the runs, the usual... Well, that's just good ceviche. Exactly. All right. Nobody else passed out from any of the food? No.
00:45:59
Speaker
We only hire the best chefs. Okay, well, that's very helpful. On to more important subjects. Yes, indeed. What was your servant doing with a fucking wererat beneath my manner? Hmm? Oh, you're coming in hot. Yes. on o Let's not do that. Okay. I wish you died last night. It would have made this all a lot easier. Whoa. I'm going to tell you right now, the key.
00:46:29
Speaker
that was stolen, will be returned, or the entire city will know that you are the reason the eyes of Erdenin have been gaining access to the upper crust. Simply put, key or your reputation is done. what tea The key that leads beneath the crypt. The key that you undoubtedly found and with which you gained access.
00:46:57
Speaker
Wait, pause. Did we actually find a key? Jimmy had a golden key. Yeah, he pulled it out of his butt, remember? Oh, he did it. Oh, he didn't do it. That's Jimmy. Reginald, do you have a key? I don't have a key. Florifauna, do you have a key? What key? What key?
00:47:16
Speaker
Look, Vakra, we don't have your little key. What we do have is a shit ton of intimate details about your family's weird, foul magics. I also know, like, a lot of other things about you. I no longer feel like beating around the bush. Also don't care about your little crypt beyond my ability to blow your life open with it. And your life is short, okay? If I turn it into hell,
00:47:43
Speaker
That's really all you'll get and then you'll die in obscurity, okay? You can try to fuck me over. I've got like 800 years left to rebuild my reputation. So my point is, I had a question for you. And that question was, what is your involvement in the princess's disappearance? Why was your ring on the hand of the man that took her from the city on a humiliation ship? She flips you the bird and at the same time reveals the signet ring on her finger.
00:48:10
Speaker
That's the very ring. Very helpful, darling. You're off to a tremendous start. Now, let's do it again, but a bit more verbal this time. My ring is clearly here, you impetus ape. Impetus is not the word you were looking for. Do you want to try again? Are you thinking impotent? She screams.
00:48:32
Speaker
You are the worst. I will play the game, Vadok. I need assurances that the key will be returned. I don't think you're understanding. I'm not playing a game. I'm saying I'm going to ruin your life and leave your house in tatters if you don't communicate the information that I'm asking for. So, go ahead. I don't think you understand what I'm saying because I will gladly do the same. My life might be miserable You might not have one. Seems like you've got enemies. And from what I understand, right now you need friends. Oh, you want to be friends, background. You passed out from some ceviche? It really doesn't feel important right now. Really? Well, hmm. Sounds like it wasn't ceviche. And then, what was up with the carriage? Sounds like someone doesn't want you around, and frankly, I can't say I blame them. You're the worst. So.
00:49:21
Speaker
So wait, hold on. So you'd have us believe that you have nothing to do with the attack of the Locust Man? What? Locust Man? Why are you talking? Why is your help talking to me? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Again, colleagues. Weird misunderstanding happening. She works for the house, but detective-wise, we're colleagues.
00:49:39
Speaker
Yeah. you what do What is your relation to Prince then? Because he seems to be the one that's calling all the violent shots. I invited him to my fucking parties, the Crown Prince of Onos. We needed the credibility. So he just gets to stomp around your manner and try to kill your other guests? a I don't know what you're talking about. Are you saying Prince Malphoth tried to have you killed?
Family Secrets and Demands
00:50:03
Speaker
Tried to kill you? Yeah. What a ridiculous statement.
00:50:07
Speaker
Uh, it wasn't very ridiculous for the three other people that came through here. They all seem to think that it was pretty reasonable. Are you just like, are you playing this up or are you this naive? Cause there's someone at your party that strung a murderous, locust man night thing to try to kill us. I wish they'd done a better job. but You stink. really bad Okay. and Enough name calling. I'm telling you now.
00:50:37
Speaker
I don't give a flying hoot little hour bear joke about my reputation anymore. I was almost gutted last night on top of a flaming carriage. I passed out almost to death. I dunno, three times? You start to lose count.
00:50:53
Speaker
you're You're coming back at me with this whole, oh, if you ruin my life, I'll ruin yours. I think you care a little bit more about your life than I care about mine in this moment. So, I've asked you very simple questions. I'm not going to do your little key quest. If you're good, maybe I'll tell you where you can find the man who might have your key. That's if I'm feeling generous. That's not good enough. Oh my God, can I... She's so difficult. Do you didn't believe this? I...
00:51:23
Speaker
will gladly exchange information. I need the key. You don't understand what I'm dealing with. Okay. Okay. I don't want to speak out of turn, but if I stop now, if have his like but you I'm not trying to make any promises that the group doesn't, but if we're like going to get this key, I gotta know a little bit more about what the hell is going on down there.
00:51:51
Speaker
What's with all the crypts and the bodies? I'll get you your key if it's really that important that no one else goes down there, but what the fudge is all that about? Give me a persuasion roll. 14. Your name. Reginald Chapstick. That's not a real name. Reginald Chapstick. You can check the records. I work here. Reginald Chapstick. There is a entity.
00:52:21
Speaker
that lives beneath the manor, which contains abilities and power, the likes of which your diminutive brain could only dream of comprehending. It can provide nigh anything you want, but it requires a price. So that you are sacrificing people.
00:52:50
Speaker
All the servants, yes. People. Servants, please. People. Okay. Wow. um Yikes. Yikes. Gosh. So that's it? What do you mean that's it? You just sacrifice. That's it. You sacrifice people to some entity and you get whatever you want. I have not been there myself. My father is the only one permitted to enter, but I understand what the broad strokes are, shall we say. Hmm.
00:53:20
Speaker
Okay. Well, I'll try to get you your key. Now give funneling what she asked for. I'll find the key. finally and That's my promise to keep up. Okay. If you want to, if you want to deal with.
00:53:32
Speaker
Servant killers, go ahead. Well, I just feel like I spent the entire evening getting dirt on this woman and I have a lot of it, like way more than she has on me. So I thought the blackmail would be enough, but we can do the little key quest if that's what you want to do. Oh, I mean, we also know about this entity thing. So I mean, sure. That's cool. I don't know. We can talk about sacrificing one of us later.
00:53:54
Speaker
No, no, I mean, it we can tell other people about it. Sorry, lady. Oh, yes. Oh, no, that's a given. Is that a big secret or what? Yeah, is the spooky god thing in your basement that your dad raised to a big secret, Vakra? Or is that like a common thing amongst your friends? It means a rather accepting place, but I'd rather not test the limits of its religious acceptance, I suppose. Sure. So then maybe answer the questions. What do you want to know, Trollope? Oh my god, I told you like two times, Trollope. What is your involvement in the disappearance of the princess?
00:54:38
Speaker
nothing bullshit What does that benefit me? All it did was ruin my ball. Nobody attends because it's poor sport to have a ball without princesses missing. All anybody wants to talk about is her disappearance. Her disappearing is the worst thing that's ever happened to me until maybe this conversation.
00:54:53
Speaker
there actually believe her i can know that ah without forthcoming you were with the some kind of elder god living in your basement like this think it's funny and like please don't take offense to this you can ask for anything from this elder god and you chose mediocrity among royals
00:55:14
Speaker
One of the most powerful houses in the city. Please. Yeah, nice. And your your party got ruined by three guys and a half rack. Yikes. Your colleagues are very pleasant, Vader. Well, I mean, I would hardly say you're the authority on pleasantness.
00:55:37
Speaker
Regardless. Okay. You have nothing to do with the princess' kidnapping. Why did her kidnapper have your crest? Who else wears that ring? She is quiet for a long second. And her eyes widen ever so slightly. She quickly corrects herself.
00:56:05
Speaker
Bip. lost his signet ring. It's the night of the humiliation ball. He wouldn't shut up about it. He won't shut up about it. Lost it nearly, but but was it was that a week ago? Like you say, time moves oddly. But if you're suggesting he had anything to do with her disappearance, that's ridiculous. Bip couldn't scheme his way out of a paper bag. Probably all the black leaf he does.
00:56:37
Speaker
The what? Oh, he's addicted to Blackleaf. You didn't know? No, but that clarifies a few things so many. Thank you. Yeah, no worries. I'm kind of tired of, I guess, like fighting with you and threatening to ruin each other's lives. That was very helpful and you don't appear to be a national security threat. So that'd be cool. I'm not going to like blow your life wide open and we'll get you the key. Three days. i didn't ah No, no.
00:57:02
Speaker
three na and Four. Or we go down together. Four. That's so hilarious that I was like, you know, Edvacra, I have 18 different ways I could ruin your life. I'm not going to. And then she was like, I'm going to respond with a deadline. Yeah, just imagine the fucking town criers tomorrow morning. Yeah. Royal family has Eldritch God beneath their walls. For gods. Also do a ton of black leave, also sacrifice their servants to an Eldritch God, et cetera, et cetera.
00:57:33
Speaker
and I don't see this playing out very well for you. Like, it's actually hilarious. Fine. Four days. Perfect. Generous. Thank you. So generous. You really are too good, Lady Frowley. Will that be all, Lady Vedoc? Who sends the letters, the fraudulent letters in your little group? Like when you sent the letter from Orsa saying that she wasn't going to see Bip anymore. Who writes those? Is it you?
00:58:04
Speaker
I wouldn't have needed to write a fraudulent letter if she had just done a better job, but she couldn't help putting her own little twist on it. Why do you care about her anyway? I don't believe you know her. She... left before you arrived in the city. Oh no, I don't really care about her at all. I just care about, uh...
00:58:22
Speaker
with an interesting story. And also, I also received a fraudulent letter, so kind of curious who's good at copying handwriting around here. But those are all the questions I have. Colleagues, any further questions? Not that I can think of. Okay. You're dismissed, Vakra. She walks away. Doesn't say a word. I mean, actually, lots of questions still about the crypt, but I'd feel like not appropriate to ask.
00:58:48
Speaker
that Honestly, I feel like I got what I wanted out of it. I was just surprised at how forthcoming they were. I thought they were like the opposite of forthcoming because I was like, I could destroy your life. And she was like, I still don't feel like talking and you really can't take it up a notch from, I can destroy your life. like i really But it's still pretty funny to be like, yeah, there was like a fucking entity underground. we so we next our servants do it when they deserve it What about it?
00:59:20
Speaker
Yeah, like, is that not illegal? Can we not report her for that? Yeah, we probably do. We need to find her for cute. Has a leg to stand on, to be honest, but you know what? No, but I feel like at the same time, like, sure, we can report them, but like, they're also like pretty powerful royal and probably well-connected. And they could just be like, no, there's no Eldritch God beneath her. What kind of crazy person would say that?
00:59:44
Speaker
Although, I mean, how many servants have realistically gone missing, right? From the crypt, it was like a bunch, right? Yeah, it was a bunch. So maybe we snitch, and then she's off our backs permanently. Yeah. ah I feel like snitching will come back to haunt us more than that's fair just getting the key. But then again, I don't know how easy getting the key is going to be. Does Jimmy still have it? ah yeah Probably. Johnny? Jimmy? Jimmy. But I don't- Jimmy.
01:00:13
Speaker
I feel like he's not going to be one to want to just hand it over. That's for sure. Well, I want like the longest nap anyone's ever taken. And then I want to speak to the police about Bayoun and Malphurth. And then I guess I want to go back into the sewers for some more rat sex.
01:00:30
Speaker
That's what I'm calling talking to them now. Yeah, exactly. We'll just lean into it, right? What did she say she was going to ruin me with again? She was like, oh, if my reputation's shit, yours will be too. But then the thing she said didn't really frighten me. That the eyes of Eredinine have access to the nobles because of you. But like, what are the eyes of Eredinine trying to do? Like, what's Jimmy going to do with the key anyways? I don't know. No, they've always been like, knowledge is power kind of thing, right? Yeah, they just get dirt on people, and then I don't really know what they do with it. But I guess that's bad for me. I could survive that. I've survived worse. Had to touch a man's butt the other night. That was gross. Ew. Yeah, I know. Thank you both for your sympathies. I mean, if she does reveal it, like if she does try to ruin your reputation, you can also just deny it, and then she would have to explain where her accusation's coming from, and then... Amazing point. den i Deny, deny, deny.
01:01:30
Speaker
Same thing they'll do. Yeah. kind of We have more evidence, like the fact that they're known for their servants kind of disappearing. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's solid. I will point out you acquire that information through blackmail rats in the sewers. You don't know how ah how public that information is. ah Probably pretty safe. Yeah, it's probably pretty.
01:01:55
Speaker
Anyway, we'll get the key. I don't think she and I will ever be friends. Have you noticed that I am not good at making friends, but I'm really good at making enemies? Yeah. I think we're all kind of getting a knack for that. Yes. We're very despicable. Well, I always say, if you're not hated by a hundred people, you're not doing it right. Where are we at now? I'm at like 7,000. Okay. Well, I got some other information. Did you?
01:02:24
Speaker
Yeah, I was listening to some of our guests on their way out, and I think my suspicion is right. I don't think they have a solid grasp on what they're doing next. In fact, it seems that, who is it again, Lady Voon? Lady Voon instructed our night friend to keep tabs on you, trying to see what our next move would be.
01:02:48
Speaker
So yeah I think it's best that we keep everyone at arm's length to some degree unless we have the utmost faith in their trustworthiness because it seems that we're making waves and they're all trying to ride the momentum here to catch up to the princess. That's a really good point. Yeah, I'm prepared to like cut and run with basically everybody in the city except fallow. You know what we could do is now that we know and they don't know that we know, you could give the night false information.
01:03:22
Speaker
Oh, you're so clever, Glinty. You really should be a noble. You would be so good at it. Let's use that boon to make you stinking rich. Hey, you know what? Learning from the best, okay? Let's... yeah. Hey! Yes, oh my god, this could be so fun. This could be so fun. We could send them on a wild goose chase. And then we could start making our way. So smart. Unopposed. So fun. We still need a boat. Okay, okay, actually... We can get a boat. I feel like that's not gonna be that hard.
01:03:49
Speaker
Garfield had a boat and the three of us are very charming. i sure I'm sure we can schmooze a celebrity. and i The problem is, I don't know who kidnapped the princess. It's ring was missing. Presumably whoever they handed the princess off to is the one who stole it, which means that person was someone who had access.
01:04:10
Speaker
to Bickford on the night of the humiliation ball. We do know some of the servants there were actually criminals, so perhaps another criminal was there, swiped the ring. The other i don't know the other aspect that somehow feels connected is that I believe it was Lord Pilton who summoned me to the drifting terraces, but he did so with a letter that fraudulently bore the humiliation seal.
01:04:37
Speaker
So there's someone out there who may have stolen two rings and may be connected to Lord Hamlet Pilton. You think it's the same? I don't know. I mean, they said but Xerxes told me that they keep the ring, his father's signet ring, in the study and that it would have been there all night and that he can't know for sure who was in there. So perhaps it's completely irrelevant, but it's just interesting to me that two nobles rings were misused or misplaced on the same night. It's an MO. And we're not any closer to knowing which ship we ought to follow and where into the anchor's chain. hu Like I've got to get the hell out of Dodge out of this city, but we don't know where to go.
01:05:22
Speaker
Yeah, shoot. Yeah, I'm frankly stopped. Because there's a lot there's a lot of different islands to... I mean, but that we could write off a bunch of them, right? Like we know... Oh, well maybe I don't know actually. Some of them are, I think, just you just can't go to at all or shouldn't wouldn't be the place to go, but... Right.
01:05:43
Speaker
ah Damn, hmm. Yeah, how would we know? How
Plans to Leave the City
01:05:48
Speaker
would we know? Maybe it's just about going to like the most populous port city in the Anchor's Chain and then starting to ask some questions. That's true. Okay, that's a really good point. I think we should yeah get to the Anchor's Chain first and maybe we'll find more leads once we're there.
01:06:01
Speaker
Yeah. That's an excellent point, because not every island will have trade with any humiliation ships whatsoever. So if we can just get there to the most popular place and then ascertain where there receives shipments yeah and in that window, because, oh, we can engineer it. We know what night Kalista galleries was kidnapped. Right.
01:06:22
Speaker
we can know roughly how long it takes to get to the anchor's chain, which means that we can present the harbors there with a window and say which K-name ship came into port yeah within these three days. Yeah, that maybe can help. That's a better start. I think that's perhaps the best we can do. I do think we should talk to the cops about Thayunzi here. How did Mao first get like How is he related to Malphurth though? Also, where did they go? Malphurth and his servant. I can only assume they're waiting to try to kill us again. Probably. Alright, yeah. I feel like if we can catch up to them, what if we leave tonight? If we could find a ship, maybe. Oh, but this stupid key thing that we have to do now that you promised. ah
01:07:13
Speaker
Limky, you could go get the key and Clay and I could go get a ship or Clay, you know, some combination thereof. Oh, we could all get together. I have some connections down at the docks now. At least at the ship. Who's that guy that I brought fish to? The harbor. The harbor master.
01:07:31
Speaker
yeah that water yeah No, that's the fish seller. No, that's the fish seller. The guy who gives the fish. Yeah. Oh, silly me. I'm a fool. yeah Yeah. Hey, hey. I didn't say his name the first time you met him. I realized I never gave him a name the second time you met him. But for the record, his name is Latus Throp. Latus Throp? Latus Throp. Latus Throp. The harbor master of air to name. Yes, sir. All right. Okay. Well, maybe I could talk to Latus.
01:08:03
Speaker
If you guys want to go have more rat sex. Okay. Yeah. Clay and I can go have some rat sex and you can go talk to your friend. Yeah. But who's going to talk to the cops?
01:08:14
Speaker
We've got to report. I don't know. Should we? I really don't know. That's a good idea. I can't talk to the cops again. I really don't think that's a good idea. Also, don't you have a meeting with the detective guy? the Oh my god, so many meetings. Why am I always doing this? Yeah, I suppose I do. He's odd to me. You have to figure out what he knows. I don't really know how to handle that, actually. I guess I'll just tell him that you're really into rat sex.
01:08:42
Speaker
Yeah. It's sordid enough that it will distract him, you know? I'd be like, Clay is a criminal. I love criminal, you know? I don't know. I mean, the guards hired him to look into me and you want to report the locust man to the guards. What if you tell Whisperhands about the locust man and then send them that way instead? Then someone's investigating that. Okay. I'll tell Whisperhands about locust man.
01:09:12
Speaker
Okay, that's a good plan. I like that plan and the guards are kind of involved and, uh, and they get him off my back. I just think, you know, I'm kind of a big deal and I was almost murdered and the police will probably want to speak to me at some point, you know? And if they ask me who tried to kill me, I'll say Locust Man vis-a-vis Ellen Malphurth. What was the evil thing's name again? Lord of Quiet. Oh, Thayun Zaheer serves the Lord of Quiet. The Lord of Quiet. That's really cool. Yes. Who I'm quite scared of actually.
01:09:41
Speaker
replayed my nightmares when I was a child. that yeah doesn't sound Scary guy. Did they have the Lord of Nightmares in Dwells? I don't know, did they? have we Would we have heard of something like that? Dwells, sometimes the scariest something someone can imagine is a berry bush with no berries on it or ah yeah a jubilee with with not enough warm bread for everyone. But, yeah, sometimes if the kids are acting up, you're like, oh, Lord of Quiet's gonna take you.
01:10:15
Speaker
you know That's the scariest thing. The berry thing definitely more scary, but yeah. It was so, to us, it was more like a folktale kind of thing. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah. So didn't take it as seriously as you might here. And I mean, having now experienced firsthand, and if I ever make it back home, they certainly will take it a lot more seriously.
01:10:39
Speaker
Is it related at all to the entity under Prowly Manor? Like, is that another some sort of horror demon thing? Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, sorry, we kind of glazed over that because I think it was kind of funny that she just gave up that information immediately. Yeah. What the hell? They have a like.
01:10:58
Speaker
god thing and entity under their house that they kill people to get things that they want pardon me yeah i don't know if clays made any religion or history checks about this whole necromancy crypt thing can i do that yeah go for it um that's not great so i got a 12 i think with a 12 you don't really have enough information. I think from your religious studies you are aware of all manner of nefarious entities lurking in the realms beyond the material plane. There's the abyss where the demon lords reside, the entities of chaos, chaotic evil,
01:11:56
Speaker
There's the archdevils of Cystilist. They are of a more lawful evil persuasion, but that's like a pretty big umbrella. it could be It could be a god, it could be a lesser deity, it could be any number of fiends known for making an exchange of souls or other elements of servitude in exchange for motes of power. That didn't really help. I don't know any. Yeah. I feel like maybe we yeah we deal with one thing at a time and I feel like dealing with some sort of super powerful god demon thing.
01:12:44
Speaker
is not really our priority right now. Yeah, I just feel like the people we're up against have some sort of way of getting help from super powerful god entities. so Yeah, that's true. I mean, we've gotten some help from some god entities too. That's true. Did we? Yeah, we have.
01:13:07
Speaker
you He's my name is like a dragon. Just kidding. I've still got jokes. So wait a minute. Glinky aren't you like religious in a way? Yeah. You're always like saying prayers to trees and whatnot.
01:13:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like we got stuff on our side too. Yeah. McCrog's never intervened so directly though. Have you ever asked McCrog for middling wealth and status? Maybe I should pray for protection. So no, no more of my friends die or people around me die. Yeah, do that. Do that. Yeah, my bad. I should have prayed harder. That's your bad, but that's okay. You'll do better next time.
01:13:51
Speaker
Can I just say guys, thanks for, you know, fighting so hard to keep each other alive. Yeah. That was some shit we went through yesterday. Yeah. Okay. It really was. I'm very grateful that both of you fought so hard. I think we're getting better at this. Maybe. Yeah. We're kind of badasses. Man, like all these guys like don't really know what they're doing. No, we're gonna get that boon. Like we don't know what we're doing, but we know more than them. That's what I'm saying. Like these guys, I don't know. It seems like a whole lot of show and we're kind of just figuring it out. Hell yeah. I think we figured out more than them. We're on to something. I think we're on to something for sure. Something to discuss later on. I know we have more pressing things. How would you guys feel about fighting in a pit fight to make us some money?
01:14:41
Speaker
Uh, come on, you can use muscles and I'm going to grab plays. I'll show off their hair muscle toious real moco you could muscle. Yeah.
01:14:52
Speaker
like giggly yeah I don't know. Maybe I'm not that desperate. Yeah. See how much it costs to get a ship over to the anchor's chain. And then, then we can decide whether we need to join a fight club or not. Okay.
01:15:07
Speaker
say I just think you guys are cool and would be really good at fighting in a fight club. I think we'd be good too, but I never know. You never know. Yeah. Maybe there will be throw pillows around and you can make shields out of them. Or we could actually have all our equipment on us. yes and we yeah Yeah. We should kit up. That would be good. Okay. So plan is, okay. Number one, we have no idea who's kidnapped the princess. Number two, we are going to talk to Marlin, try to find a ship and retrieve a key. Number three, we're going to get out of the city as fast as we can. Yes. Okay. Good plan. Break.
01:15:49
Speaker
Do you like D and&D, improv, and a podcast where the DM can't control the player's intrusive thoughts? Well then, Flip of Fate is what you're looking for. This loosely D and&D podcast is about four misfits being roped in on an adventure by a centaur wizard.
01:16:04
Speaker
Now, we have some one shots as well. We have a Christmas one shot about four dads on the hunt for their Christmas presents after getting robbed. As well as a three-part Halloween special set in the modern world about four teens caught up in a small town horror.
D&D Fun and Podcast Promotion
01:16:20
Speaker
And we played that in a simplified D&D system close to the Call of Cthulhu system.
01:16:25
Speaker
Now, in our main campaign, we play in D and&D 5e. And if you're looking for some nitty gritty D and&D and advanced rule following, you won't find it there. We're just four friends that enjoy improv in D&D with some chaos mixed in there. So go check us out. You can find us anywhere you listen to podcasts, that flip of fate. You can also find us on all socials. So stop by and say hi. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your episode.
01:17:01
Speaker
You leave the study and cross the entry hall to the entry hall of Berthold Manor. You put your hand on the knob to open the door wow and it is smacked. And Phallus says, absolutely the fuck dot. What? All of you to bed.
01:17:22
Speaker
You need to regain your strength. What the hell? No, we listened to Fallow. No, don't listen to Fallow. Damn. You were going out. Yeah.
01:17:33
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry! Do you think that whoever tried to kill you last night isn't going to try and do it again right now? Well, no, i've they've got a recoup too, probably. What are you wearing? Is this like a... Suit? Christian school t-shirt? What is this? I'm bored of this robe. It's like a robe. McCrog is my friend? You need to rest, you need to recover, and you need to put on actual clothes. Okay, damn.
01:17:58
Speaker
It's a good point. Okay. let too We didn't even arm ourselves again. Do I have to keep pretending I work here now? Yes, of course. Okay. I just wasn't sure who that's for. Is that for you or is it for somebody else?
01:18:09
Speaker
Oh, I don't know. Perhaps for the Lord and Lady who keep you employed and safe
Apologies and Near-Death Tales
01:18:13
Speaker
and well. Where are they? Lady Amala was rather bereft at the thought of losing Lady of Fondland and drank herself into a bit of a midday stupor. And Casrin, I believe, was making a police report. Oh, shouldn't be doing that. What?
01:18:32
Speaker
No, I think it's cool and good. Okay. Oh, you supported you missing. Okay. Someone should tell him that you're safe. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a really good point. Okay. Well, uh, follow, would you put you, would you let us, would you let them know once we, once we, when, when they get through the door, we'll be taking a nap. Will you go to bed? Yes. Absolutely. Will you stay in bed? Yes. Yes. Yes, ma'am. I'll bring you some warm soup. Some time. Very good.
01:19:00
Speaker
All right, off to bed. And Fallow escorts Fondlin up to her bedroom and helps tuck you in and checks your bandages and she brings you a nice bowl of warm soup later. Man, she really cares about you. Yeah, we're like legit friends. It'd be a shame if something happened to her. I'll kill you. Oh no.
01:19:24
Speaker
ah kill you for you were brought down to your to your room with the two beds, the shared room. Similarly, soup is brought to you. A fresh change of clothes is provided to both of you. And I'm going to say the rest of the day is a bit of a blur. Anytime you even think about getting out of bed, Fallow seems to have a sixth sense and is there to force you back down. She's she's very frail, but she's determined. And Eventually, Amala comes to see you. Faunalyn, same with Kazrin. They are both extremely apologetic. Amala is insistent that any time you leave the house from now on, Krombeck, Lung Crusher accompanies you. Krombeck. How do they take the death of their carriage driver?
01:20:13
Speaker
You know, it seems like a bit of a logistical problem. I think there's more relief that Fondland's alive than there is grief over the passing of Kallston Faddlefettle. Poor guy. Well, you reap what you sow. No justice for servants in Aradonine. I'm like nice. I'm like normal. I like, I'm thankful for their care and I explain what happened and whatnot.
Rest, Gifts, and Investigation
01:20:41
Speaker
How much do you explain?
01:20:42
Speaker
I think I don't say like, Prince, we call for a six come on me. But I think I do say that like we don't totally understand, but from what we understand, you know and I might've gotten the wrong piece of gossip and touched on something a little too close and it made someone at the party mad and they sent this locusty guy after me and he tried very hard to kill us. Okay.
01:21:05
Speaker
Very good. I'm going to say about five days pass. Oh, wow. ah why e Before fallow Kent gives permission for you to return to your duties, to start dressing yourself in the case of following. She doesn't care about who dresses the two of you, but I will say that there is a few notable incidents that happen over the course of these five days. On the second day, we'll say the first day is the day that you did this these discussions with the various party guests.
Detective's Humorous Investigation
01:21:42
Speaker
The next day, there is a knock at your door funneling and it's fallow. And she says,
01:21:53
Speaker
If you're not up for it, dear, it's quite all right, but I believe the town guard sent a detective to take your statement. Oh, good. Okay, a professional. Yes, let them in, please. Thank you, Fallow. The door is kicked open.
01:22:11
Speaker
Well, well, well. I love this guy. What do we have here? Looks like somebody chewed up yesterday's garbage and... I'm sorry, you don't need that right now. You look like hell.
01:22:23
Speaker
And, surely enough, Marlin Whisperhand, local detective, not part of the town guard, in any official capacity, is in your doorway. And Fallow, like, scowls at him. She says, what are you doing? Knock that off. No, we're not doing that right now. And he says, sorry, ma'am. And might I say, you're exactly my type. And, oh. Fallow scowls at him and then walks out the door, closing it gently behind her.
01:22:53
Speaker
That's so hilarious that you think someone like Ballo would go for someone like you. That's why I don't like James. Always so mean. She's a hot 80 and you're like a crusty 60. That's really good. I'm actually 65. You give that energy and you sort of have the weathered look of... yeah. So.
01:23:15
Speaker
looks like your old servant tried to cut and run huh Ew. probably Wow! tried to leave you for deads because you were getting too close to that more but sort of totalr truth that's right probably a total involved I know you never trust a dame, but the thing is, it twain- Twain to Twain to dame who did this. Twain to dame indeed. Twain to dame. No, twain to dame. Twasn't. Twilint, twont. Twod. Sometimes. No! Twodint, twod. One big man with a war pick and a bunch of bugs. Tell me a bunch of bugs gave you these second degree burns all over your damn body.
01:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, so the story is, I don't know exactly, well, I kind of have an idea of why, but it's none of your business. But anyway, I agitated. I kicked the wrong locust nest. Things that aren't my business are my business. Well, I'm telling you the part that I care to share with you, which is that I kicked the wrong locust nest.
01:24:23
Speaker
And then I accidentally, well, not accidentally, I was sicked, uh, sicked upon by Thayun Zahir, is a servant of the Lord of Quiet. He wears a locusty mask anyway. He tried to kill us really bad. And then through ingenuity and a scrappy wit, we fought our way out.
01:24:43
Speaker
Oh, um, can I interject? If Clay has been confined to her bed, she would have done sketches of the locust men and gave them to Faunalyn. Ooh. Nice. I hold one up. Look. Yeah, so you can give them away. Nice. Hell yeah. Self-portrait. Did you capture it? Oh my god. Ouch. Ugly, ugly locust helm.
01:25:10
Speaker
Must be like looking in a mirror for you, though. Well, I kind of just already made that joke, so, you know. Yeah, well, I made it back and mine was meaner, so. All right. So, look, I know you're not long for this world. Looks like you'll be dead in probably a couple of days based off what I'm seeing here. Trust me, my partner looked the exact same way the day he croaked. So if she was shot, it was a woman who was shot. Mm hmm.
01:25:37
Speaker
The procedure partner was a woman and she was shot. No, no, no. He was shot by a dame who popped out of a cake. But he also looked like he was going to die in two days time. Yeah, it was a real shocker when he died seconds later. Two days earlier. So listen, as your dying wish, I would love for you to tell
01:26:06
Speaker
yeah I can tell you that Flora Fauna is really not the criming type. Like actually, when we were all fighting on top of the carriage, I was very resourceful. Gleamkey was very resourceful. Clay kind of just cowered inside the carriage and was like, oh my God. Angelus was praying the whole time. And like, she was like, forgive the locusts. They know not what they do. Crime is in the heart of the sinner, but Lord McCrog forgives us all. Anyway, nicest person I've ever met.
01:26:38
Speaker
not a criminal bone in their body, but I can tell you the name of the man who tried to kill us, if that's of interest to you. Start with a deception roll. I'm feeling that the dice are hot tonight. I'm feeling that I'm going to roll my second Nat 20 of the night. Okay. Okay, well, it's not a Nat 20, but it is a dirty 23. He flips out a notebook and calls out a hand to you expectantly.
01:27:08
Speaker
I high-five it gently. No. Quill. I forgot mine. I don't know, go rifle through the desk. He rifles through alley cat, howls, trash can, phone xylophone, you know the deal. I don't make this extra work for myself. And comes back with an ink pot and a quill and he starts jotting down in this notebook, big stinky coward. Got it. And then he, and as he just chokes on a bunch of ink and starts spraying it all over the room. All right.
01:27:43
Speaker
You're certain? You're not just telling me a convenient lie so that I don't investigate your friend further in an attempt to find justice for the missing princess? Would I do that? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.
01:27:56
Speaker
It doesn't sound like me. Oh, I can say though, actually, I asked Clay. I was like, Clay, if you were going to kidnap a princess, what would you do about it? And Clay was like, oh, Clay is what I call them because they're a potter, but their real name's Flora Fauna. Anyway, Flora Fauna was like, I would never kidnap a princess. That is a sin, and I would go to Tiefling Hell. and that would be And then she gave herself 12 lashes in front of me just for thinking about doing such a crime.
01:28:26
Speaker
She was like, somebody spank me with a hot spoon, lest the thought even cross my mind. And then she started praying again. She's very good. Into spoon stuff. Got it. All right. So here's the deal. You showed me that picture of that guy. I kind of just said it looked like you. I probably could have said something more substantial. I don't know who that is. That's a weird fucking looking guy. I'm going to be so real with you. Don't know who the hell that is.
01:28:55
Speaker
You know, he's icky. Yeah, really scary guy. If I ran into him, I'd probably get killed. So... I shoved Ceviche in his ass crack. Can you believe I did that? I looked at this picture and I almost cried just from seeing it. And I put Ceviche in his ass. Like, what was I doing? Was I on Blackleaf crazy? Now hold up. I don't condone drunk ears.
01:29:19
Speaker
No, neither does Clay. He turns to the camera and says, kids, don't be a fool. Stay off Blackleaf and go to school, you damn idiots. And he turns back to you. Sorry. Colleen looks at the camera and says, my friend did Blackleaf and they died in the street. And then she looks back. He looks at you and says, who the hell are you talking to? You're a weird ass lady.
01:29:43
Speaker
Well, like a lady bug, all right? And he points at the picture. Anyway, listen, fair's fair. I got the lady off your back, gave her the money back, fed her a line. You don't have to worry about that. Maybe stop blackmailing people. It's a bad, ugly thing, but it is what it is. I didn't ask for notes. All right. Don't get sassy with me. I, I promised you something. If I recall a little quid pro pro.
01:30:12
Speaker
quote Pro pro pro-quo pro-quo pro-quo Yes, it's it's pretty quote Pope at least that's what clay says crosses himself. All right, so Believe it or not Not my only lead. I'm a pretty good detective and he Stops with the feather quill like inches from his mouth again All right Here's what's up I did a little investigation, right? Ran the block, yelled at some people, fought a kid, typical detective stuff, right? And community service. Children are disgusting. You were saying? No, I'm not. Hm. Some noble you are.
01:31:08
Speaker
Damn. I kid, I kid. We've got that sort of report now. You mean that. I take the quill and I take a drag from it and then hand it back. Yeah, you just got like ink pouring out of your mouth now. I don't think I know how quills work, apparently. just They're just really juicy. That's a juicy quill. She is, or shall I say was, the princess's handmaiden. Oh, this is a good tip. Okay, carry on.
01:31:34
Speaker
Yeah, she was her handmaid. She, uh, hasn't really been seen in public since the whole disappearance went down. But, uh, me being the best at what I do, and what I do, is pretty damn cool, because I'm a detective. Is, uh, I found her. I don't know how that sentence started, but that's how it ended. I found her.
Theories and Social Interactions
01:31:51
Speaker
I didn't follow the beginning or the middle, but the end is really jiving. And I would argue that's the most important part. What? I would agree. That's all anyone listens to anyway.
01:32:02
Speaker
So listen, after the whole princess went missing, she got interrogated pretty damn intensely by the damn cops. They talked to her, they're like, hey, where'd the princess go? And she claimed she didn't know nothing about nothing, right? She claimed she went there in the morning and opened the door, wasn't there. Oops, it took daisies, right? Well, here's the thing. Never trust a dame though, yeah. Never trust a dame, you're starting to get it. Never trust a dame. He holds out his cigar to you? Yeah.
01:32:31
Speaker
wave it around the air because Fondylin never smokes herself. He starts to like fidget with his lip really aggressively watching you wave the scar around, but keeps going. All right, so I thought I'd ask her myself. Maybe do a little investigation, if you will. Can I have that? I hand back the quill. Thank you. He's like poked himself in the lip. He starts bleeding a bit. Perfect.
01:33:01
Speaker
I talked to Lady Miloni Marinelli. Turns out she's been staying with her parents, laying low, keeping out of sight, keeping out of trouble, right? She's probably out of a job. It's not in the job description to make sure the princess of the journey they're handmade for doesn't go missing in the middle of the Don't let that happen. Turns out that's like the one thing you can do wrong in that job. So anyway.
01:33:27
Speaker
Whenever a handmaid all... fell, find her some cool handmaids. Never mind, you were saying? Well, I did some questioning. Talked to her. yeah, cool. Specifically. Good, okay, thank you. Did you think I was just gonna leave it there?
01:33:54
Speaker
and Thought you might you're very unpredictable erratic even yeah that's warranted. That's actually completely warranted She was helping the princess do a Gotta quit this thing. It's terrible for my lungs, and he puts the quill down on the foot of the bed she The princess, that is, was supposed to have a sort of, uh, shall we say rendezvous with one
01:34:35
Speaker
And, uh, it was a bit of a, you know, covert lover's thing. Didn't want a anybody to know. Didn't want her father to know. So, Lady Maranelli, she stepped in for her, allegedly. You know, went to bed, lay down in the bed, princess slipped out. Yada, yada, yada. You know the she, if she returned, she fell asleep.
01:35:23
Speaker
she says wasn't there when she went to bed. but Anyway, she's a dame, so you probably can't trust a word she says. But
01:35:48
Speaker
have you spoken to Bertram Vestigar? No, here's the thing. In case, for those of you listening home, you're wondering, what's he breathing on now, that crazy guy? He threw the quill down, he gave the cigar away. It's a bubble pipe.
01:36:05
Speaker
Well, bubbles are flying everywhere. Isn't this guy zany? Oh!
01:36:12
Speaker
Haven't found them. I've been looking in between investigating a friend for crimes they evidently did not commit. I've been running around the city. Neither head nor tail of the guy, which makes me think he probably ate her. But... I talked to Lady Marinelli and she swore up and down he would never eat the princess. So, kind of in a bit of an impossible situation right now.
01:36:41
Speaker
know it's interesting i was racking my mind trying to recall where i've heard of bertrand vaggar and then it occurred to me that my Knight acquaintance told me on the King's announcement day, when she announced the boon, that the princess had been seen in the company of the bastard Prince of the North, Prince Vestigar. And I'm wondering if he's a bastard because of his lineage, or maybe he's a bastard because he eats princesses. That's what I'm saying. Yes, never trusted Dame, never trusted a bra. Bra!
01:37:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. All right. Okay. Well, we'll figure something out. The point is, trust nobody, right? Anybody could shoot your partner. Wait, what? What are you bringing that up for? I haven't thought about that in like days. We spoke about it like two minutes ago. Yeah, but I wasn't thinking about it. I was kind of auto-piloting. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Okay. You've been very helpful. I don't know. I'd be down for another exchange of information one day, so seek me out.
01:37:45
Speaker
All right. Well, you seek me out. Yeah, we'll seek each other out. Cheers. Seems I got a short memory and might forget where you live on account of all the heavy drinking and concussions.
01:38:01
Speaker
Seems I'll find you. He screams and walks out the door. Okay, that's fun. I like have fallow. deliver a note to Clay and Glimke detailing what I learned. You've got a transcript. It's just like three pages long. And most of it's just like aggressively smoking. There were bubbles. He screamed. It sounded like, ah.
01:38:24
Speaker
On the third day, there is over like who sort the course of these five days, there's an influx of flowers and edible arrangements. I'm so beloved. A nice peacock made of fruit, lots of presents from the nobility, from Kazrin and Amala.
Recovery and Future Plans
01:38:43
Speaker
I'm so special. Fallow knits you a little handkerchief with your initials.
01:38:50
Speaker
Love her. And you get a bottle of wine from one Hamlet Pilton that says, get well soon on an attached note. I write Clay a note that says, can any of your weird friends find out if wine is poison? Do I know someone who can, can I find out if wine is poison? You are a cleric. Detect poison and disease is a first level divination spell available to you. Um, I have to like prepare it.
01:39:19
Speaker
Yeah, but I'd say over the course of the days, like the next day you could prepare it and Faunalyn could send it down and you could hell yeah you could do some detecting of poison or disease.
01:39:30
Speaker
Yeah, I would like to do that. So you prepare that the next day, you ask McCrog for the the wisdom to discern if this wine is safe to consume and you pray and you open your senses and it starts to swirl so you play pour out a small cup of it.
01:39:50
Speaker
And it starts to sort of swirl in the in the in the cup and the wine vibrates and the surface ripples. And then it calms down and it does not ah appear to be poisonous. Okay. Well, I tell that to Faunalyn. It doesn't seem poisoned. Interesting.
01:40:13
Speaker
I don't drink it though. I put it aside. No. Yeah, I'm not going to drink it. I would not recommend that. Maybe hide it so Amala doesn't drink it either. That's an amazing point. I hide it amongst my personal effects. Perfect. Yeah, you hide it. And I will say two days later on the fifth day, you you awaken and you are given permission to venture forward, you take a few like gentle steps and you're you're you know you're feeling you're feeling pretty good.
Exploring the City's Atmosphere
01:40:42
Speaker
That first day after your mass interviews, you were feeling pretty drained, pretty exhausted, and I will say you feel recuperated, recovered even. Nice. Good. If I recall correctly, rats, got to talk to a rat about a key and got to talk to
01:41:06
Speaker
Mr. Oh, latest throp, you say? Love that guy. A better boat. Yes. Yes, sir. I'll buy a fish first so you get to talk to Southwater Jack. she yeah Yeah. Yeah. That's on the list. All right. We'll start with Glimky. Going. ya Wow. The streets. They feel so...
01:41:28
Speaker
for it and unfamiliar yet also familiar and not foreign it's weird hmm well done thank you right poet i know some have said i'm a word smith and i have said i'm not a word and don't call me smith you venture out fallow has approved your departure and... I'm glad. You venture out. I will say as you depart, you notice the Azaleas, they're looking good. Oh, all right. That's a nice change of tune. You haven't done anything to them in the last four days. Well, hold on. Woolie almost assuredly hasn't. Oh, what? And yet they seem to be recovering. I was overwatering them.
01:42:22
Speaker
Interesting. Maybe they were being overwatered. Give me a little nature check. Wasn't someone pissing on them? Was it? Yeah. I got a six. They're looking good. Damn. It must have been woolly. Damn. And you venture off. You walk through the streets of the Sapphire district. The sun is burning bright above you. It's summer and full swing. It's hot.
01:42:46
Speaker
comfortable, that you're on the ocean, it's a beautiful day. And you venture down through the Gold District, down into the crevice, the basin of Aridinine, before following the slope of the ground back up into the hustle and the bustle of the Pearl District. It seems like things are, I don't want to say back to normal, because you've only got a very small point of reference, but it seems like the solemnity and the shared anxiety of the missing princesses may be fading as the days go by.
01:43:15
Speaker
with no real updates. People got lives to live, and they go back to them. Yeah, I guess I'll go search for a familiar face in the fish salesman guy. Well, what do we have here? A young gentleman looking for a perky little perch? Or perhaps a yummy little guppy. What can I do for you today, young master? Good to see you, saltwater Jack.
01:43:43
Speaker
Oh, it's Southwater, but I don't remember you, so why should you remember me? Well, okay, you're more of a character, I think. What are you talking about? You're more of a character than I think. Oh, okay. Well... And I'm a character who sells fish. Delicious, delicious fish. Now, if I remember you, you probably bought some tuna fish, or perhaps some red snapper. That sounds right.
01:44:08
Speaker
Oh, I guess I do remember you after all. You got a good memory. Thank you. Never forget a face and never forget a fish I've ever sold. Question. Do you, do you also like fish these like, are you actually out on the sea or do you just sell them?
01:44:23
Speaker
Little column A, little column B, I got my boys, they go out on the boat, they do some fishing, take a big net, throw it in the water, pull up a big fish, you get a big perch, you get a big sea turtle, sometimes you gotta throw that back. So what is, do you know what I like when you fish out the sea turtle? Because I'll count there kind of like turtles.
01:44:41
Speaker
I think if there was more sentient fish people walking around, maybe we wouldn't be so good at avoiding all this fish, you know what I mean? But you gotta drive around somewhere. I still eat chicken. I don't tell my wife, but I eat chicken sometimes. And guess what? There's bird people. We all see the bird people. Doesn't mean I feel bad about eating those chicken. So anyway. Uh, yeah. Crazy. That's actually an interesting perspective. Um, so you do have a bone. You ever think about your own mortality?
01:45:06
Speaker
Yeah, all the ah nearly every second of the day. It's tough. When it comes to getting out on the water... Oh yeah! Got a little robo, take that bad boy out there into the wildin' deeps. Wave after wave. You're fishing off a roboat? Yes sir! Okay.
01:45:22
Speaker
You seem
Travel Plans and Financial Constraints
01:45:23
Speaker
unimpressed by my lot of work. Well, I'm just, like, looking down at the array of fish that you have on this table, and I'm just, like, a sir very surprised that you're able to get all of this. Smart thing about a rowboat is the fish can tow you right back to shore. Especially a tuna, I guess. Yes, sir, there's a big one too, though. Yeah, yeah, I'll wear you. That's what ain't you. I'm guessing you've never taken a boat all the way out to the anchor's chain, have you?
01:45:47
Speaker
Mmm, I was there in my younger days. Learned a lot about fish. Different types of fish out there in the English chain. Some weird shit, too. Part of my English. But, uh... How did you get out there? You didn't take your rowboat. No, no, no, no, no, no. why I worked my way there, bought a larger ship, did some time, and then at the end of my but by and then my contract, I said, let me off and port the car, and it set me loose. Okay. I made my way through the chain from there. Okay, so that's actually what I was thinking was that I wasn't sure if you had some sort of large fishing vessel that perhaps needed some extra hands if you... Oh, that ain't my business. I see. I'm more of a bespoke fisherman. Bespoke fisherman, I see. That's right, I learned that book from the dictionary and by book I mean word and by word I mean wordsmith. Okay, well, all right. It seems I'm barking up the wrong tree here.
01:46:43
Speaker
Oh, you're only barking up the wrong tree if the tree that you're trying to bark up wears something other than delicious fish inside itself. Yeah. Well, you know, I was going to buy some fish, but I actually feel like I have another inkling. I was more so looking for work than to buy a fish. Well, you want to come out fishing with me tomorrow? I'll be up at three in the morning. Rise, the sun is fully exploded in the sky. We can get some nice fish. You and I'll give you one shot.
01:47:10
Speaker
That's actually super tempting. I'm not even gonna lie, like that actually sounds like a sick time. But I need a little bit bigger of a boat because I'm trying to get to Anchor's Chain. We are going to need a bigger boat. I got you. We are going to need a bigger boat. You know what? Seltzeriderjack, I will buy a fish. Take a rain check on the fishing trip? Nope, I'm going to take a rain check.
01:47:30
Speaker
I will be back. Looks like things aren't coming up for Southwater Jack today. Sometimes you're selling delicious fish. Not. Sometimes you hire somebody and sometimes you get spurned and shurned. If you know what I mean. Nope, not a clue, but I promise you I'll send some business your way. Thank you. Everyone that I've given gifted the fish to have absolutely loved it. so That's because we only use it to good stuff.
01:47:56
Speaker
Yeah, and I can fish fish. Yeah, no chicken but no fish buyer sometimes as long as the wife doesn't know Fair enough. Well, let's get on with you there. I'm bad at fishing all the customers scare. Okay. Sorry. Yep. See ya So long sir, and you continue along where do you go? it Off to the docks now. Oh, do you mean the latest drop latest drop the harbor master? Oh Yep. Ladies! Well, hello, young master. And once again, people in the Harbor District call each other a young master a little bit too much. What can I do for you? He's this jovial large man. He looks a little more relaxed than the last time you saw him. There's still a pretty strong hustle and or bustle going on in his workspace, but he seems a little less...
01:48:44
Speaker
Super stressed than the last time you saw him. How's that book treating you? Honestly, I haven't gotten to put it into much use yet because I haven't made my way over to the Anchors Chain, unfortunately. See, that's the problem with the Anchors Chain. You read about it and you want to go there, but it's expensive. It is. And I actually am here looking for some advice. Okay. What can I do you for? Trying to find my way there. Like you mentioned, price is not the friendliest to someone like me on a budget, trying to find ways to get over there. I was thinking maybe I could offer my services upon a ship, perhaps, sir for passage over. I don't know. Does that sound like something people would be interested in? Do you know anybody that might be looking for some extra ship hands? Now, here's the thing. It's about a two day trip three on a,
01:49:38
Speaker
If you get caught up in a bad summer storm, you know, most folks, if they're looking for help, they need something more than just a two, three day commitment. You're looking at a longer contract. They bring you on. You might get some shore leave if they happen to be overnighting or otherwise spending time in port. Fair.
01:50:01
Speaker
It's, unless you're looking for a longer commitment, I think you're unlikely to find a ah work ticket, if you know what I mean. Right. Yeah. No, that makes sense. What's it usually cost to get a trip over there? Well, depends on where you're going. If you're just trying to get to shade tree shores, port the car, it's about 175 nautical miles.
01:50:28
Speaker
Probably run you around 15, maybe 20 gold pieces ahead. Okey dokey. That is a lot. Right. Okay. You said people looking for work, maybe longer commitment. I mean, what would be the the charge of, let's say I made it to port the car and then never got back on? Desertion.
01:50:57
Speaker
I mean, if we're looking at just the law, there's probably some sort of desertion charge that could be leveled against you. Odds are you wouldn't find a passage off the island afterwards. You might spend the rest of your days there. I don't know if a single ship captain would take you in one. Won't you and forgive forgive me if I'm misremembering. It's been a week. It's been a week. But aren't you with Humiliation House?
01:51:23
Speaker
Don't they have any sort of perks for a dedicated employee? ah Yeah. ah Just trying to find alternative situations. you know Things aren't really going the way I had hoped at that time. God, it's sore. It was not my place to ask. I'm sorry. Economy's tough right now. People losing their jobs. yes Brother lost his job. Been unemployed for three months. It's very sad.
01:51:48
Speaker
yeah I could probably give him one because I'm in a position of relative comfort and authority and power in the city, but I think he's got to find his own way, you know? Well, actually with that being said, I don't know. We've had an interesting relationship over the past week.
01:52:06
Speaker
You gave me some fish. I gave you a book and some information. That's pretty interesting as far as my relationships are concerned. What can I do you for? I wonder, would you be inclined to help me get to the anchor chain or maybe have some insight on a safe way over there? Maybe alternative to paying a ton of money or maybe the lead on some sort of job?
01:52:29
Speaker
Or, hell, maybe you need something and could help ferry me across somehow. You've obviously are connected to a lot of shipwrights. Can't say that I've got any personal business in the anchor's chain. Best I could do is point you in the direction of a couple ships that I think are set to take off in the next day or two. Yeah, I mean, if you're looking to get to, uh, Cobarus, then the Vigilant is leaving pretty soon.
01:52:56
Speaker
It's a pretty nice ship. They'll definitely charge you a pretty penny for that trip though. I don't know. I think Brimstone is taking off on a larger trip, making a port-a-call in port-a-car, but I think they're continuing on to ease Iodia afterwards. so okay I don't know if you're planning it on going off the the end of the world, but it's probably what they'd be looking for. Someone willing to do that.
01:53:25
Speaker
Well, maybe this next question. Do you know of any maybe unsavory folk that port here on a regular basis that might be willing to take somebody onto their crew? He raises his eyebrows very aggressively. His forehead becomes a washboard of crinkles and wrinkles.
01:53:48
Speaker
I don't know what sort of business you think I tend to in this official position, but Unsaver is not really my flavor of choice. No, no. By all means, I'm not saying that you do anything with them. Just that maybe you know of some crews or ships that you guys kind of turn away, because you know that they're up to no good. Well, if we turned them away, they wouldn't be here, so...
01:54:15
Speaker
Okay, that's fair. I'm coming in here with a very different tune than last time. ah Well, you know what? I think these leads, the Vigilant and Brimstone, I can certainly start there. Alright. I appreciate your your insight and ah please don't let it tarnish your your perspective on me. I've just come into a different set of circumstances and I'm just trying to figure out what options I have. Indeed.
01:54:46
Speaker
If you need a job, I probably should offer it to my brother, but well I could you could have your sorting papers if you want. I mean, that's okay. Maybe if I don't figure out this whole trip abroad, that might be the only option.
01:55:00
Speaker
All right. Well, I wish you the best of luck, sir.
Sewer Ventures and Information Negotiations
01:55:03
Speaker
Thank you. Okay, bye. And you wander back out onto the onto the docks. Is there anything you're looking for as you take off? I think knowing those ships, it might be better to plan with the group of how we're going to get ourselves on board, perhaps. Okay. If it's money or if it's services or something.
01:55:28
Speaker
Sure, sure, sure. Sounds good. So we'll say you begin the long journey back to the, back to the mansion, back to Birthold Manor. And we will cut to Clay and Funnelen going on a little trip.
01:55:42
Speaker
I had a thought. It's been five days, and Bakra gave us four days to find the key. Has she tried to ruin Faunalyn's reputation? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I will say, whoops. We'll say the first day counted as a day, so like it is the fourth day from when you met. I see. okay I also noticed that. We'll say like today is kind of the day where she's expecting to hear from you. So that fourth day was really key that we bought from... not seriously That fourth day really wasn't important. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Where to? The sewers, I guess. Oh, the sewers. Fondylin's going to take care to not look like Fondylin today. Wow. This is character growth. Yeah. Natural hair. Are you taking your wig off? Yeah, natural hair.
01:56:38
Speaker
when I wear like a frilly bow in my hair. Nice. We'll say as part of the parade of gifts brought to you, Amala presents you with a ah fresh wig. She's so good to me. And Clay, you disguising yourself at all? Yeah, I also want to put on a disguise. And if Faunalyn's going without her wig, I don't know how Clay can disguise herself. But if she puts on a wig, will that cover her tiefling horns? If you put on a wig,
01:57:07
Speaker
Yeah, like a tall one to cover her horns. How do tieflings are powdered wigs? You know, maybe with a hole cut out or a couple of holes for the wigs. Just looking at some fan art, reminding myself what clays. Yeah, those things are, you know, like ah like ah like a Russian like fur hat. I think if you got like a wide enough wig, you could probably probably cover them up.
01:57:32
Speaker
You're still gonna be a red splotched cow person, but you know, at least they won't know it's you. At least they won't know about your horns. ah I could give Clay like face powder. Ooh, makeup. I could do your makeup. And I just wear like a turtleneck with gloves to cover every other in interest. skin Yeah. Do you want some, I can then do some gloves. You want some blocky contour? Yeah.
01:57:57
Speaker
i think this is good let's do it you're a robe do you have a disguised kit i think i do let me just take a little looks see oh boy do i yeah i do and i disguise clay what are you going for what look are you going for clay look not like an like a notable and notably wealthy person but I'm gonna make clay look like a just like a normal like upper class citizen with a hint of nobility so that I can justify doing like the French shurukoko style makeup that's kind of classic of the slightly upper crust and higher so I'm gonna do
01:58:35
Speaker
The pencil thin eyebrows that make a look of perpetual shock and the blue eyeshadow on the pale white face. And I would give clay lots of creative direction. You know, I'll be like, Ooh, what lip shape? This one looks a bit sad and this one looks a bit tragic and this one looks a bit lethal. You know, kind of make this look up together. Okay. Give me a roll d20 and you can add your proficiency from your disguise kit.
01:59:02
Speaker
That's a 19, so that's a 21. I'm feeling good tonight. Clay, you look in the mirror and it's a... Whole other person. You realize, wait a minute, that's my drawing of locusts. And then you look past that at the beginning, you're like, oh, I still don't recognize myself. And the two of you set off into the streets. There are many sewer grates in Aradine. Is there a specific one you are gunning for? Our classic? I don't know. What do you think, Clay? Yeah, we know the way. What way did we take last time?
01:59:31
Speaker
It's near the church. Oh, okay. Let's go there then. Okay. The same way that we went before. I agree. You depart. You notice there's a slightly higher guard presence perhaps in the city than you, or at least in the upper district, up in the Sapphire district, than there has been in the past. What are your passive perceptions? ah Passive 13. Nine is 14.
01:59:57
Speaker
The two of you walk out the front door, swing open the gate, crumb back, falls in step behind you, and the three of you start walking down the street of the Sapphire District. You glance over, you see that there's a couple of rich children playing with a fancy stick and a fancy hoop, and an individual sitting on a bench reading a newspaper,
02:00:26
Speaker
You pay him no mind, except you notice that there are two eye holes cut out of the newspaper. And it's being held by these blue scaly hands. Is Clatir blue? Yes. a And if you're wondering what Clatir looks like, check out bardsoup.com and you can see exactly what Clatir looks like. But we don't look like ourselves. Oh yeah, we don't look like ourselves. Let's just keep an eye out to see if he seems to notice us.
02:00:55
Speaker
or Krombeck is following us. Oh yeah, Krombeck's following us. We're going to have to send Krombeck off. Yeah. I mean, Glimke said we should feed Kletir false information, right? Yeah, I think that's a really good idea. I just don't think I really want to tip him onto what we really look like or what we look like when we're disguised. I know. But he's already on the lookout for us. It seems like he might already recognize us, right? But has he noticed, like, we've noticed him, but has he noticed us come out of the house? Yeah. Is there any sign that Kletir recognizes us?
02:01:24
Speaker
There's a newspaper in front of his face. Hard to get a read on how much he does or does not know. I see. All right. Should we just deal with this head on? Or we could, I don't know, go on a stroll and see if he's following us. Yeah. Okay. Let's put it off. Good plan. Okay.
02:01:43
Speaker
I assume Clay and Faunalyn came to this decision in a very hushed, urgent conversation. We both spot him and then like make this decision. yeah Thank you for narrating your thought process. Cause in reality, it's just like a lot of shrugs and nods and eyebrows being raised. and I do think Faunalyn and Clay can communicate pretty well like that. Yeah. You keep walking and Clay at one point you glance over your shoulder and you see the individual.
02:02:10
Speaker
sitting on the bench has stayed there and is kind of staring at the manor. but So he had to realize it's us, hopefully. We did a good job with the disguises. Yeah. I also wanted to say that if we're leaving the house, when you asked us our passive perception, like I want to make active perception checks against like the killer still trying to chase. Give me a perception roll.
02:02:40
Speaker
Oh god, it's a seven, not a one, and then plus three, so ten. You keep an eye out for shadowy figures, clouds of locusts, individual locusts even. Streets seem relatively quiet, but not in the scary thayun zehir sort of way. Okay. And you continue along, Krombeck.
02:03:03
Speaker
Doesn't ask a lot of questions. He's on patrol. He's on duty. He's got a hand on his weapon at all times. And the two of you go down into the streets of the gold district towards a familiar sewer grate. What is your plan for him? I, yeah, I tossed Clay a look that's like, how are we going to get rid of this guy? I don't know if she looks back at you with no idea in her eyes. Oh, God. Chrome back. Yes, ma'am.
02:03:33
Speaker
Um, have you heard the rumors about me and rat sex? I'd rather not say ma'am. You have heard them. Okay. Well, they're true. I'm going to go into that sewer and then I'm going to come out in about an hour and a half. I trust and I don't, I don't, I just, I know for a fact that I have your discretion. You can wait here and guard the entrance. And if you hear any wailing, that's part of it. Give me a persuasion roll.
02:04:01
Speaker
and The DM said sadly. Yeah, you know, I'm not happy about it either. But that is in fact a 21. No, 19. I'm bad at math. 19. With all due respect, ma'am, there have been multiple attempts on your life. I have been assigned to escort you for the entirety of the time you are away from the mansion.
02:04:24
Speaker
Perhaps this is not the best time for... ...rats...sex? Whatever you're picturing, it's much more romantic. I'll be with her the whole time. As her... YEAH! Yes, Clay will be with me the whole time. The entire time. The entire time! Just watching. Doing handmaiden things. Ooh. Okay. Search yourselves. I'll be here.
02:04:54
Speaker
I guess. Good job, Clay. Okay. High five. Let's go. We should come up with a handshake. And he posts up outside of the sewer grate. Oh, that was well done. You just descend down. Can I get a survival check from whoever is leading? Can I also specify that I'm going to breathe only through my nose and I will cover my mouth so as to never get poopy and mouthful? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
02:05:23
Speaker
Clay is leading. And I'm watching out for cubes of slime. I think I don't even ask. I think the second we get into the sewer, I just like crawl onto Clay's back. I'm once again piggybacking. Survival. 22. The route's starting to become familiar. The sewer has been your stomping ground more times than you maybe would have expected.
02:05:51
Speaker
had somebody told you this a few weeks ago, especially you funneling, but you hop up on Clay's back and with a certain amount of confidence, Clay starts moving through the tunnels of the sewers of Aridinine, and you know exactly where you're going, which is why it's so confusing. When you get to this slightly upward slanted tunnel that opens up into this larger chamber,
02:06:18
Speaker
Once teeming with rats and the occasional kenku, it's almost entirely empty. There was piles of bones and refuse, but those seem to be mostly gone. It's quiet, save for the sound of dripping water. Hmm, it looks like they've moved their meeting spot since we were last here. Well, rats.
02:06:45
Speaker
Yeah, rats. The lack of them. The lack thereof. the Do we have any other way of contacting Johnny, Jimmy? Ask and you shall receive. Literally just have to speak his name. Oh my god. You hear from Jill off in the darkness. Hey, I'm walking here. And waddling out from the shadows is a little kinku.
02:07:15
Speaker
Oh, clever harm something. His name is hands. What's his name? Hands handsome have his hand Mr. Hands. No, it's Chimes, I think. You have met two Kenku, one named Chimes and one named Mr. As. Mr. As, not Mr. Hands. Silly me. That's copy written. Do we recognize this Kenku? Which one? Which Kenku is this? It's a different one.
02:07:42
Speaker
It's a bird person. Hard to say. You can ask. and chimes They open their mouth and you hear sound of chimes.
02:07:55
Speaker
Oh, it's Chimes. Wait, which kankoo is which though? The one that recorded Clay. That was Mr. As. And then what was this one? I believe Chimes played the sound of the boy being run over, if you recall. And they went back and finished him off. Yeah, that haunts me. Kankoo kind of cocks her head and looks up at you and says, now what are you two fun ladies doing around these pugs?
02:08:23
Speaker
We're looking for Brutus and Jimmy. Oh, my two favorite boys. What are you doing back here? I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm afraid they're gone. Where? What has this little bird witnessed? The harvest! The harvest! Oh, poor fellow. Yeah, could you lead us to where they went? Where they've gone?
02:08:53
Speaker
Look at this jackass bray. And the kenku kind of raises a hand in apology. So no, not possible then. You don't know either? Oh, I know many a wonderful thing, but I can't tell you that. Because you see, Mr. Parker, they'll have me arrested for treason. Can you get a message to them to meet us here? Oh, I sure can do. Boss ain't no problem. Ain't nothing that a couple thousand ball bearings can't fix.
02:09:23
Speaker
and Can you do it for free? They'll be very interested in what we have to say. Give me a persuasion roll. That's my first bad roll of the night. That's going to take me to a 10. Can I help? How do you help? Big, big cow eyes. but Sure. Yes. Go for it. What do I roll? Oh, persuasion. Okay.
02:09:50
Speaker
I got a five. We're killing it. I ate nothing that a couple thousand ball bearings can't fix.
02:09:57
Speaker
ah but what The thing is, we're flat broke. I don't have any ball bearings either. I didn't even really know what they are. Are they at all similar to baubles? Good question. It's kind of like a whole idea of a thing, you know what I mean? How good he's met Marlin.
02:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, and I don't know what you mean. No, we doubt. You hear the sound of money like piling up, just like clinking coin bag. Okay, well, I can give you 2,000 copper pieces. Mr. President, we've got ourselves a deal. I'll build that facility. Don't you worry about the kids.
02:10:40
Speaker
Okay, awesome. You're going to lead us to them then. Oh, not a chance. All right. Clay, what do we say that their way of life is in danger because of the key that they took and the woman they took the key from is willing to burn their entire enterprise down to the ground. And then she knows roughly where they stay. Is that like what we should say? Yeah, sounds good. Okay. Did you get that chimes? Oh, not a chance. Well, okay. Take two. Was there anything you think we should add, Clay?
02:11:09
Speaker
I don't know. We kind of just need that key back. All right, Gov. I'm on it. Don't you worry. And then you hear your own voice parroted back at you. We kind of just need that key back.
02:11:23
Speaker
o Should we offer them hot goss in exchange or should we just see what happens? Yeah, I feel like that's not tempting enough. Yeah. Okay, Chimes, can you please tell them that, uh, we have cool goss about a pit fight and we know who tried to kill us. If you try hard enough, anything's possible. Okay. Thank you. Well done. Tunnel off then. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, where will we meet you with their reply? Don't you go anywhere. Oh, stay right here then. Okay.
02:11:53
Speaker
And chimes disappears into the darkness. How long do you wait for? Well, we said two hours for rat sex. There's no other rats or anything around here. It's quiet. How do we pass the time?
02:12:09
Speaker
I don't know, scheming? You're scheming. Do we gossip? I want to ask about all your friends at the church place. Just Walter, I guess. Yeah, what's Walter's deal? Yeah, I guess Clay will talk about how how she became a cleric childhood and everything.
02:12:36
Speaker
What do I learn? Well, basically, like, she was very ill and a cleric of McCrog came and helped her heal her when she was younger. And then that inspired her to want to become a healer and also a cleric, basically. And that healer is now the Bridescale. So that was him. Oh, Bridescale wore it. Yeah. Wow. Well, I'm really, really glad you didn't die as a child.
02:13:06
Speaker
Thank you, me too. I don't really remember anything from before being sick, so it's kind of like the first thing I really remember.
Reflections and Next Moves
02:13:14
Speaker
Did the sickness, like, steal your memory? No idea. What about your parents, Clay? Uh, yeah, so my father, I grew up with him. We lived on Killicon Sea. It's like south of Aridinine, I think.
02:13:31
Speaker
Yeah, a small place, and he was a potter. And yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm adopted, but yeah, he taught me a lot about pottery too. Does he still live there? Yeah. Yeah, I send him letters sometimes. One day I'm gonna, you know, get my own art shop up and hopefully invite him to Aridini to see it. What a beautiful and good dream.
02:13:56
Speaker
Let's make it happen. Let's find the princess and let's make it happen. Oh, yeah. I don't think he expected me to get into so much shit. Yeah, the crime. Well, does he know about the crime thing? What crime thing? That's what I told Marlin. I told Marlin Whisper Hands that you're like a nun, basically. And he bought it. So that's good. Kind of. Cleric. That's true. In a way. You know, just like a cool nun who kidnaps people sometimes.
02:14:21
Speaker
That was once, and we're gonna fix it. You learned from it. You'd never do it again. Never. Yeah. None of this ever again. Yeah, it seems like you don't re- like the crime thing seems a bit out of character for you. ah did You enjoy it while you did it.
02:14:39
Speaker
I feel like looking back, I didn't really know what was going on. I was just taking jobs where I could. Erginine's so different from Kilik on C. There's so much more going on. There's so many more people that, you know, the people who were willing to help me out, I wanted to help them one job turned into something more and I did not expect that, you know, kidnapping the princess was happening. So it's kind of been a shock the past couple days. I'm sure it has. you you You really exude a sort of goodness that just makes it all so surprising that you're caught up in this at all. You can't get a read on Glimki and his sort of
02:15:36
Speaker
morality like he's he's you know he doesn't want to kill people and he's very pious but then sometimes he's like scary like he's like me but better at it i he seems like a good person and i'm glad you know that we've become friends with him do you think i'm a good person yeah i think you're a good person you might be a terrible judge of character i think that's canonically true but you're a very good friend you too Wow. Thank you for, you know, getting me a job at Berthold Manor and, you you know... Thanks for going along with it and being so nice to me. You know, it's it's it is hard to make friends in this city and maybe just in general. So I feel very lucky. If there's anyone in the world I'd want to hunt down a princess with, it's Fallow. But Fallow's too old, so it's really it's really you.
02:16:39
Speaker
new people through it, especially meeting you and Glimpy. And I hope even after this whole princess thing, and, you know, we find out who killed my other friends. And we we solve all that. That hopefully everything can go back to normal and we'll still be friends.
02:17:00
Speaker
But we will be. Once you're friends with Vadok, you're really—I mean, I've been friends with Fallow since she was, like, 18. So, you know, it's really just a lifelong thing. You're locked in, buddy. You're so old. I know. And so childish. Pattering of footsteps approaching in the darkness. Who is it? Oh, for Pete's sake, what do those two chuckle fucks want?
02:17:24
Speaker
Oh, and is it the two at... Clay and Faunal? That's great. Say hi. I kind of told them that we were done, but hey, make sure they say hi. Jimmy, shut up. And Chimes walks back into view. They say anything else? Okay, Chimes. Make sure they understand this. We're moving because of them and Jimmy, but also them. So stop trying to find us. Thank you.
02:17:56
Speaker
Second thing is, they can have the key, but it's gonna cost them. Now boss, before you give them the key, might I recommend we give that thing a good wipe down first? It's been in some crannies, maybe some nooks, so to speak. You could have told me that before you gave it to me, but yeah, sure. It's nowhere Brutus hasn't been.
02:18:25
Speaker
da i If they want the key thousand gold pieces Okay,
02:18:37
Speaker
okay let's go as a background for a thousand gold pieces Yeah True or let's go do a bunch of pit fighting. Has it come to that? I'll throw a fight bet against me Oh, no, we can't risk you getting injured again. Miss faunalyn. Oh Oh, but then Glimky can fight. Yeah, Glimky would win though. Yeah, that may be true. Okay, what do we do for real? I don't know, but I have no way of getting a thousand gold pieces unless I do something deeply immoral. I think we should just ask Bakra. Yeah. She'll be mad at us there. and She's very nasty and you really can't blackmail her for shit. There's no way she's going to give you money.
02:19:16
Speaker
I mean, she could ask her entity under the preliminary manner to give her a thousand gold. Yeah, but we kind of like promised it from our, yeah. Yeah. Let's go ask Vakra for 2,000 gold pieces. 2,000 gold. Shall we? Yeah, I guess we have to tell her something and then if she doesn't like it, you just try to ruin each other in the press, I guess. Yeah, I guess we just talk mad shit about each other.
02:19:44
Speaker
I have so much more shit about her than she has about me. I'm really not worried. Yeah, that's true. Mm-hmm. Okay, part of the sewers then. Yeah. Hop on my back again. Aw, thank you. Could you bend a little lower? I kneel down. Ah, good, good, good. I like hold onto your horns as handles. Be careful, younglings. We would hate for something awful to happen. It's really weird that you said that. Buh-bye! Is that a warning?
02:20:13
Speaker
Yeah, was that a warning? Patter of feet off into the night, off into the darkness. Thank you, Chimes! Goodbye! And the two of you depart. You manage to find your way back up to the ladder. Krombeck is waiting for you. He lets you know that he was about to come down and find you.
02:20:38
Speaker
You're really pressing the time limit. Pressing a lot of limits down there. Pass him a saucy wink. Do we have HR by any chance? She caught them. So I can take it up with Valo. ah She's more of a freak than I am. It's highly inappropriate for the workplace. And the two of you depart back to the manor. Anyone following us? Give me another perception roll. So smart to ask those questions.
02:21:06
Speaker
making this mistake
02:21:17
Speaker
not see your attacker. You don't know where he is gone. If and when he'll return, you do not see Prince Malphurth or Kletir Kaldar. For a brief second, you see a rat with gleaming yellow eyes peering out at you from an alleyway, but when you lock eyes on it, it quickly scurries away.
02:21:37
Speaker
and you continue your way back up to prepare to share the information that you have acquired about life's many expenses, I think that's where we'll stop tonight's episode of Barred Soup.
02:22:23
Speaker
dear friends, Prima Zhao as Clay
02:22:31
Speaker
If you're enjoying the show, as always, we'd really appreciate a five-star view on Spotify or Apple podcasts. Consider following
02:23:00
Speaker
and da da butdada da
02:23:21
Speaker
no we just goof in