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Chapter 20 - Brain Drain
34 Plays2 months ago
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams but it does make for an excellent broth.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Come Closer by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Better Times by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Dungeons and Dragons by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Emotional Piano Improvisation by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music & Ambience: The Orrery by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Morning Mood - Edvard Grieg - Flute Selection by JuliusH from Pixabay
Music: Night of Mystery by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: The World's Most Epic Sea Shanty by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Ambience: Docks District by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Bye, Bye Brain! by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Aftermath at Prilmi Manor
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see. Where were we? Something about halflings in the desert. No, no. Not that. Though you should listen to that after this.
00:00:12
Speaker
Ah, yes. That's right. After the epic highs and lows of underground cage fighting, the party returned to Prilmi Manor to settle their affairs with Bakra Prilmi.
00:00:24
Speaker
Upon their arrival, they were greeted by the butler Tick, who convinced them to help rid the mansion of a fiendish presence hidden deep beneath the manor grounds. The party spent the night in the Pralmy mausoleum, and in the morning, Farnelyn awoke with severe side effects, courtesy of the performance-enhancing drugs she consumed the night before.
00:00:45
Speaker
As such, it was determined that it would be best to leave her behind while Plain Glimke descended beneath the mausoleum with Tick. They navigated Tick's illusions and winding stone hallways before discovering an underground lake.
00:01:01
Speaker
They rowed out into the center of the lake and soon were joined by the creature they sought, a fiendish entity riding upon a skeletal crocodile. The creature had burning eyes and the skull of an owlbear.
00:01:13
Speaker
and it identified itself as Lemoris, the Skull Thief. They spoke with the creature for some time, attempting to learn more about its wants, and it quickly became apparent that it had some prior knowledge of Clay, referring to them as the Child of Verli.
00:01:29
Speaker
It went so far as to offer to leave the Pralmi Mansion behind if Clay would go with it, but she refused. Negotiations soon broke down, and Glimki attacked Lemoris, leading to a perilous fight between the two parties.
00:01:44
Speaker
Although they were able to quickly slay him, he was brought back by the power of infernal tethers, and it was only by destroying the last of these tethers that they would be able to vanquish their foe. Just before Glimki could destroy the final one, Lemauris ordered his crocodile to drag Clay back to the hells, and it very nearly succeeded.
00:02:02
Speaker
As the black water of the underground lake gave way to the fires of Sistilis, Glimke was able to destroy the final tether, and Clay was released. Though they were triumphant, there was no time to celebrate, as the ground the Prilmi Mansion was built upon soon began to crumble, and the crypts began to collapse.
00:02:21
Speaker
Clay, Glimke, and Tick rushed to the exit, and just managed to escape as the mausoleum, along with the mansion, were pulled back into the ground. It was here they found Farnelin, though not as they had left her.
00:02:34
Speaker
For you see, Farnelin had wandered over to the mansion in search of more drugs, where she met with someone who appeared to be Bickford Pralmy, but was actually his father Gleir, who had magically altered his appearance.
00:02:47
Speaker
She attempted to negotiate with the man, but he was having none of it. And in a demonstration of his might, he reduced her mind to a pulp. And so, as Clay and Glibke found their friend, she stared at them with vacant eyes.
Banter, Songs, and Introductions
00:03:03
Speaker
You already said all that. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Shhh.
00:03:11
Speaker
On with the story.
00:03:28
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:42
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:04:00
Speaker
It's Supertime!
00:04:07
Speaker
Alright Rumpus, Rumpus, Rumpus. What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your players. Because your players are amazing people, these facts should be very pleasing.
00:04:21
Speaker
Just relax your bodies and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each equally. These facts are not to be shared outside this podcast, but for now, they're yours to enjoy.
00:04:38
Speaker
Your player loves practical jokes.
00:04:43
Speaker
Your player once flew from Portland to Seattle. Your player was the subject of one of the longest and most exhaustive investigations in FBI history.
00:04:55
Speaker
Your player is Prima Jowler. Wow. Okay. Cool. I'm Prima and I play Clay Campbell. Your player is easily scared.
00:05:09
Speaker
Your player likes eating big stinky sandwiches. Your player's first kiss was with his dog. Your player is Jordan Johnson.
00:05:20
Speaker
I'm Jordan Johnson. I play Glimky Tree Fellow. Your player loves the sound of rain. Your player once filled his co-worker's phone with quarters.
00:05:33
Speaker
Your player is a proud Asian American. Your player is Shannon. That's all 100% true, and I enjoyed every fact equally. And I'm your corporal fastest dungeon master, Zach Meikle.
00:05:47
Speaker
Welcome to Bard Soup.
Escape and Farnelin's Condition
00:05:49
Speaker
Let's make some broth. Ooh, Corpofascism! And I want you to know I wrote that one in advance, so if you didn't like it, we're going back to how it was.
00:06:01
Speaker
i liked it. I got the reference, so that great. Perfect.
00:06:09
Speaker
We join our party running through the woods outside Prailmi Manor after their near-death experience above and below. It still ah early in the day, probably not even noon.
00:06:25
Speaker
Sun trickles down through the canopy of trees above you. And you are running. Running from the destruction of Prailmi Manor and... I don't know if...
00:06:39
Speaker
Clay and Glimke have really had a moment to fully process what has happened to Faunolin. She has been nonverbal. She's been compliant, but otherwise has not been herself.
00:06:52
Speaker
I mean, ah has not been herself in any sense. She's been nonverbal and compliant. Clearly not herself. We're laughing about my condition now, everybody. Everybody, are we laughing about my condition now?
00:07:03
Speaker
Oh, what cruelty lurks in the hearts of men? And what actually came out of her mouth was, where are you going? What are you doing?
00:07:15
Speaker
I think we're I'm just like, Faunelin's hand in my hand, running, dragging her along. In terms of direction, I don't know. We're just trying to get out of the grounds first, right?
00:07:26
Speaker
Yeah, is this like a sinkhole, like a quicksand type situation where everything's being sucked in, or...? It seems to have stopped. There's like some aftershocks, but it seems like the mansion, the immediate surrounding grounds were all pulled into this sinkhole, but it is not spreading currently.
00:07:47
Speaker
and Where's Tick? He did not run with you. Okay. Okay. I... Yeah, I don't know. Like, right now, I don't think he's thinking about where he's going.
00:08:00
Speaker
I think it's just, like, running to get out of the grounds. Like, so once we start hitting pavement, like, outside the gates, maybe we'll have a moment, but it's like, yeah, let's just get the hell out of here.
00:08:12
Speaker
Okay. You run. You don't stop. The two of you dragging Faunelin behind you. from somewhere closer than you would like.
00:08:29
Speaker
Breaking through the trees, a massive ursine figure clad in feathers,
00:08:37
Speaker
starts charging towards you. ah Why? What? what Anyone got ceviche on them? I promise I- well, I can't speak. Oh, shoot. They're so sad. I've got no spells.
00:08:52
Speaker
I've got no lay on hands. oh I think ah can we keep running. keep running. Just keep running, yeah. You start running, and boom.
00:09:05
Speaker
The creature is as fast as you, faster maybe, with a mighty leap, it jumps through the air, flying right over top of you, landing with a big explosion of dust and debris as it lands on the ground on the path in front of you. It rears back up onto its hind legs.
00:09:22
Speaker
Hoo, hoo! And it starts slowly walking towards you. And then suddenly sits. And then it falls over onto its side.
00:09:36
Speaker
And then it rolls over.
00:09:39
Speaker
And crashing through the trees, you see Tick flying towards you. A whistle held within his beak. The whistle. He lets off a few more quick breaths.
00:09:54
Speaker
And the owlbear pulls itself back up to its feet and crashes off into the woods. you You have to go. I will find you tonight. I'll make good on the price you are owed.
00:10:07
Speaker
But for now, you need to go. You got it. Yep, we're going. Come now, Fonilin. Fonilin has two twigs and has shoved one up her nostril and is working on shoving the other one up her other nostril.
00:10:19
Speaker
Very good. Keep that up. I'm just going to drag her along. The two of you drag your walrus friend through the grounds. And before long, you get to that familiar gate. You're able to push it open and step out into the Ruby District proper.
00:10:40
Speaker
Probably your first time seeing it during the day. It is bright and green and lush. You see off in the distance this tower.
00:10:52
Speaker
a block is floating off of it. attaches itself up at the zenith. You see ah beautiful marble fountain depicting a group of heroes, water spraying out of their hands and mouths and an approximation of magical spells being cast.
00:11:11
Speaker
Fondelin tries climb into the fountain. Whoa. Lady Fondelin, what are you doing? what No. Come back. mean me mi i'm just going to yank her back and want to grab her face and look at her eyes. What do we see?
00:11:26
Speaker
Like, what does it look like back there? When you look into Fonelin's eyes, it is like looking into, it is just a reflective surface. They are a little bit glassy. They're just staring off into the distance, into the middle ground.
00:11:43
Speaker
She doesn't really seem to acknowledge you as you do so. What kind of magic is this, Clay? Have you seen this before? What kind of drugs did she take? I don't think it's the drugs. It doesn't look like Blackleaf.
00:11:55
Speaker
Yeah. Can I do a medicine check? Go for it. And can I say while you're rolling that, there was a moment where Prima was like, hey, check his gums to see if they're black regarding Bickford.
00:12:07
Speaker
And I wish you'd gone through with it because they wouldn't have been. They wouldn't have been. And maybe they wouldn't have told you nothing. But they wouldn't have been. And wouldn't have that have been an interesting thing. But it's okay. Anyway, what do you got on your medicine check?
00:12:19
Speaker
I rolled 12 17.
00:12:22
Speaker
You have to look past the exhaustion because there's certain physical symptoms. She's normally very poised and proper. She's a little beat up, a little, you know, just a little weak in the moment.
00:12:40
Speaker
And it's hard to determine just how much of that is what was affecting her the last time you saw her versus whatever has happened in the meantime. But you pull her lip back.
00:12:52
Speaker
There's no staining of her gums. You do a quick evaluation, smell her breath. It doesn't appear to be liquor.
00:13:04
Speaker
It doesn't appear to be any other sort of ingestible that you're familiar with. You've seen... People in the Copper District and beyond take all manner of substance, but nothing that has left them in a stupor like this.
00:13:21
Speaker
I think with 17, you are able to ascertain that this is either something really bad, like a parasite, a brain worm, something just like that has gotten inside of her and done terrible things, or something arcane.
00:13:41
Speaker
Okay. I relay this to Glimke. I think something terrible must have happened to Lady Faunolin. This looks like someone did this to her. What could have happened?
00:13:53
Speaker
I'm not sure. Maybe one of the the people of the house found her did something to her? I hate to say it, but I feel like we might need to go back to that priest of Macrog again and ask for aid.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, I think, yeah, maybe they'll know what's wrong with her. Do you think maybe
Seeking a Cure and Revelations
00:14:14
Speaker
Bakra did this? Maybe. I think that might be her only option. I don't know any restorative spells that could help her.
00:14:22
Speaker
No, I'm all out of spells also. thats Yeah, we can head there, i guess, right now. Yeah, we should, and try to patch ourselves up as well. who Clock wipe.
00:14:34
Speaker
do Yeah, da-da-da-da-da-da.
00:14:42
Speaker
You catch some looks walking through the Ruby District with two people, both of whom are soaking wet, one of whom who is bleeding from their side still. Okay. A third person who is kind of slouched between their arms, dragging their heels, not seeming totally out of place, but not seeming like the typical resident of the Ruby District. Okay.
00:15:12
Speaker
But you manage to stay off of the main streets as much as possible, eventually making it over the bridge, back to the Sapphire District, over to the Gold District, and eventually you find yourselves once again at the Dragon's Heart Cathedral.
00:15:35
Speaker
I'll say it takes longer than normal. If you recall, Faunlin's speed was halved, from the exhaustion. So even when you don't need to be avoiding the main streets, she looks looks tired. She's moving slowly.
00:15:51
Speaker
But you're able to guide her through these various parts of the city. And eventually, like i said, you are at Dragon's Heart Cathedral. Damn, this is the second time we've come here all beat up like this.
00:16:04
Speaker
I know. I feel like we're going to run out of favors. I mean, you seem to have a good relationship, so... Yeah, I feel like I need to get better at my own healing spells.
00:16:15
Speaker
Anyways, let's go in. Maybe I can learn something. You push the heavy wooden door open and step into the entry hall of the church.
00:16:28
Speaker
You see a familiar young boy dozing on a stool in the corner, but...
00:16:36
Speaker
He doesn't disturb you, and you definitely don't disturb him. What are you doing? Bring her to that main room again? Yeah, I think we were in some sort of, like, infirmary room before with beds.
00:16:50
Speaker
We'll just go back Okay. Okay. ah say, Clay, you bring Faunelin down those familiar set of hallways to the room you were at but a few nights ago.
00:17:02
Speaker
Lay her down on one of the empty beds. And Glimki, you head off into the main hall. It is...
00:17:14
Speaker
Like I said, still morning. It is not a day of specific worship, so things are fairly quiet. You see a couple of acolytes cleaning up, sweeping and dusting.
00:17:30
Speaker
Above you, this beautiful gleaming crystal is suspended just a few inches from the ceiling, casting shades of pink and blue throughout the space.
00:17:42
Speaker
You look around and you do not see this friend of clay's, this bright scale. Can I call out to some of the acolytes? Excuse me.
00:17:53
Speaker
Please, anybody. i need someone to help me. Anybody. A young girl with short cut hair not quite shaved, but very short hair, puts down a broom and walks over to you and says...
00:18:11
Speaker
Greetings, brother. What might I do for you? I need healing magic. Something restorative. Something strong. Where is Brightscale? I believe the Brightscale is praying in his chambers.
00:18:24
Speaker
Is this an urgent matter? I can fetch him if you require. Please, please do. Very well. And she hurries off and goes up a set of stairs leading up out of this chamber.
00:18:40
Speaker
few minutes later, this familiar elven man with long cinnamon brown hair and small little beard, which you don't think he had last time you saw him, but... He's trying something.
00:18:50
Speaker
Trying something out. He steps into the chamber says, Ah, yes. I remember you. You're... Clay's friend, are you alright? Is Clay alright?
00:19:01
Speaker
Um, we've been better. i think we're getting into a weird habit of showing up here when we're a little worse for wear. Clay is is fine.
00:19:12
Speaker
The problem is Fonolin. I think someone broke her brain. Broke her brain? I don't know how else to describe it. It's like nothing is inside her head anymore.
00:19:23
Speaker
Um, that's... Very interesting. I'm glad you came to me. ay forget my musings. Let us depart at once, is she?
00:19:36
Speaker
kli took her down to the the rooms. Very good. Then let us see. And he quickly marches out of the room and goes down the hallway and finds an open door and finds Clay sitting there next to Faunelin who's just kind of staring up at the ceiling.
00:19:54
Speaker
The priest moves in and... grabs Fondolin's hand and checks her pulse and looks into her eyes, mutters a quick prayer and a little ring he's holding amidst a bright light. He shines it into her eyes.
00:20:10
Speaker
She doesn't really react. Excuse me, ma'am, can you, can you hear me? and me me me me me me I do not know her well, of course, but I...
00:20:25
Speaker
Can't say this is how I remember her. Last time you graced my doorstep. Wow, he's being cute. Well, this isn't like her at all. Oh, was she enfeebled last time?
00:20:36
Speaker
I'm going to enfeeble his ass the second I wake up. he closes his eyes and gets down on his knees next to the bed and says, Oh, mighty Macrog, father of all dragons, bringer of the light.
00:20:55
Speaker
Please reveal to me whether this poor woman is suffering from the ill effects of ah poison. And he sits there for a minute and shakes his head.
00:21:06
Speaker
Not a poison, it's something.
00:21:10
Speaker
Something worse, probably. Something magical in nature.
00:21:19
Speaker
i Can probably help her. I can't make any guarantees. This could be a curse or something else.
00:21:31
Speaker
I assume it's reversible, but ah can't promise. I would like to try a ritual, but it comes with a certain cost in material components, specifically diamonds.
00:21:50
Speaker
What do you need? I would need approximately a hundred gold pieces worth of diamond, diamond dust to be specific. Normally, these services would be procured or could be procured through donation.
00:22:07
Speaker
Costs, of course, going benefit those who are suffering out in the larger community to spread the word of Macrog to the darker places of this world.
00:22:18
Speaker
Do you need the dust or is the gold fine? We have the dust. Glimki ruffles into his bag and pulls out a sack of gold and drops it on floor. He's like, that should do it.
00:22:31
Speaker
Thank you, my child. We do appreciate it. This will allow us to keep our supplies in good supply and ensure that we can help others as they need it.
00:22:42
Speaker
I am talking about that needy out there. Bitch, there's needy right here. shook her down. You give him a hundred gold? I just minused all of my Goldia 100 pieces.
00:22:54
Speaker
Wow. I'm at zero. he leaves and he comes back a few minutes later with a chalice filled with a dark liquid and a little satchel that gingerly opens up and you see it's full of the shimmering dust that he starts to sprinkle in a circle around Faunalyn.
00:23:17
Speaker
He takes the the dark liquid and flicks little droplets on her and once again prays to Macrog, asking for restoration to restore to her what was what was lost, what was taken.
00:23:31
Speaker
Phonelin. You wake up. Or you were always awake. Or you were at a table and now you're staring at ah ceiling.
00:23:47
Speaker
but you feel your senses return to you. Am I still exhausted? Yes. He's not a very good cleric, man. For the price of 400 more gold pieces, you can have all your exhaustion removed. Jeez, this guy's a shyster.
00:24:01
Speaker
Hey, we got to stuff for free before, did we not? this Okay, you got us there. it What the fuck? Okay. Lady, why am I here?
00:24:13
Speaker
hi, Clay. What the fuck? We're so out of it. How are you feeling? Okay, well, I think I feel not great because I was at breakfast with Bip and then he wasn't Bip. He was their jackass dad who I'm going to Well, let me check.
00:24:35
Speaker
mccrog yes what's the what's the godly vibe check on bashing someone's brain in with a rock generally frowned upon generally is what i needed to hear thank you exceptions can be made yes this would be one of the exceptions i feel quite confident okay i was speaking to him and not amenable to reason whatsoever and then he went i'm going to melch your brain and um i remember shoving something up my nose i remember being really happy to see you two and then i think we like pet an owlbear and now i'm here so i think he did do something to my brain is that the is that the the gist of it yeah
00:25:17
Speaker
It's pretty accurate. So there was something in there left, which is good. You just weren't talking and you just kept going me, me, me, me and nothing else.
00:25:28
Speaker
No, I feel like I wasn't really having thoughts. It was like watching ah movie of myself, but I didn't know what words or colors or shapes were. You were in the sunken place.
00:25:39
Speaker
Yes. What a way of putting that. Speaking of sunken places, what happened in the crypt? ah We sunk it. Really? I think we might have already gotten your revenge on the Prailmi family because their house is no more. Oh man, Fondlin, you'd be so proud.
00:25:57
Speaker
We came out and then I was running and I grabbed you and then I turned while their entire manor was collapsing into itself. And then I said, what did I say? Something about- the house- to ah Something about the house- Veydark. Veydark.
00:26:12
Speaker
It was sick. It was cool. I was too busy running. but To be honest, I don't know if they heard me, per se, because the sound of the house collapsing in on itself was like very loud.
00:26:27
Speaker
So I tried. That is so touching to me that you would you know you're fighting words as you destroy all of their material property.
00:26:38
Speaker
were you know from For me, that's so touching, really.
Farnelin's True Identity and Tensions
00:26:42
Speaker
Of course, I couldn't hear them, but... I mean, to be honest, I don't really have any other stake in it. I have a lot of stake in it. I didn't like having my brain melted, so I think I'm going to kill his family and then individually shit on their graves.
00:26:56
Speaker
Okay. don't know, is that overreacting? Is that before or after we figure out the princess thing? I just think we could make a detour. We made the detour to that. And then, like, hey, sorry to say I know that you had your brain broken and stuff, but Clay and I and our new friend, who's kind of sick, actually, I was kind of against him at first, but then Mans showed up.
00:27:19
Speaker
Tika's kind of cool, actually, I think. We fought, like, the devil or something. Whoa. Yeah, the demon in their basement was indeed pretty scary,
00:27:31
Speaker
but I think we got rid of him. Right? Did he die? ah sure I'm pretty sure we killed him dead, yeah. So what I'm hearing is that the source of Glier's power has evaporated, or been vanquished rather, and I can go and hit him in the brain with a rock.
00:27:48
Speaker
And he will be as squishy as any normal man. Well, I mean, he still seems like he is some sort of powerful spellcasting being if he messed you up that easily.
00:28:00
Speaker
No, you're right. i'll You're right. You're right. i'm You're right. I'm fixating. ah Don't worry about me. i won't I won't seek out any kind of revenge. Don't worry. On a side note, Mr. Priestman, could you give us the room, please?
00:28:15
Speaker
Of course. Brightscale, before you go, thank you again for your help. Thank you so much. Of course. Clay, come find me when you are finished.
00:28:26
Speaker
There's something I would like to discuss with you. Yes, of course. And he exits the room. Firstly, am I the only one who's loving the goatee on him? has goatee. Yeah, it's pretty cute. Yeah, he's quite like wayfish looking, but he has such a butch voice. And I just feel like the goatee kind of brings it all together.
00:28:45
Speaker
ah yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm vamping. On a second and more serious note, I am so grateful that I've found friends and companions like you who are willing to, you know, like avenge me and say badass things like go house Faye Dark or um whatever cool thing you said. I believe it was very cool. but The only problem is Oh, how do I say this?
00:29:07
Speaker
Have you guys ever been in a situation where like you've been lying to your friends the entire time they've known you and like you try to come clean about it, but then you're like, wow, it's not nice to lie to all your friends all the time and then you feel like kind of a jerk. and but Anyway, has that ever happened to you? Yeah.
00:29:23
Speaker
I don't think so. Not really. Oh, okay, just me then. Cool. So the point, the thing, the thing is, the thing, thing, thing is, there's a non-zero chance that I die or am irreparably altered while hanging out with you two.
00:29:42
Speaker
And it's really important to me that I don't get buried in Vedark colors under the Vedark name. And I think we'll just leave it at that. What?
00:29:54
Speaker
and what colors and what name are you to be buried under? What do you mean? Probably like my real name, which isn't Phonelin.
00:30:06
Speaker
you not a Vader? What the f- What? What are you about? Yeah, no, okay, so it's it's important that you two keep calling me Phonelin all the time, but that's not my name.
00:30:20
Speaker
Okay. What is your name? I'm nailing this. I feel like I'm really nailing this and you two are being receptive. This is good. This is good. Honesty is good. I think the thing is you haven't really said anything yet. Okay, well, my... I'm confused. So my house colors are Heather and Mulberry, and my name is... it does Actually, it's I shouldn't say what my name is. It doesn't matter what my name is. You don't need to know it. No. The point is... What?
00:30:49
Speaker
No. You don't... make us walk into crypts to deal with some bullshit family vengeance plot to then reveal that your name is not your name and then be backpedaled out of the situation not reveal what your name is no what but yeah Okay, well just the thing is I've been very honest about many many things. No! and I don't think you have.
00:31:14
Speaker
It's just like the person you know is me, you know? Like there's not a lot of pretense. I've just been pretending to be someone else. Man, it's crazy. Because I honestly was starting to like you again.
00:31:30
Speaker
What? You know you don't? What? Why doesn't this make... What? It's just a little fib. I don't know who you are. Okay, okay, all right, okay, all right. Come, click come, come, come, come. I have to say, come, close I have to say it quietly. Come closer.
00:31:44
Speaker
Hard to look. Is there a real Lady Foddlin then? Yes, and she sucks. She's terrible. i am her, but a thousand times cooler. The Vatarks, on average, are pieces of shit. Okay, my name is Farida Thrilin.
00:31:58
Speaker
Never say that name again, because the thing, the thing about being Thrilin is that we're kind of persecuted politically by the Vedarchs.
00:32:09
Speaker
wait i the point is, if it gets around that I'm Farida Thrillwyn, we're talking imprisonment, we're talking beheading, we're talking stripped of my reputation, humiliated, left destitute, probably imprisoned, actually. I think I said imprisoned already, but imprisonment is a big thing for Thrillwyn's.
00:32:32
Speaker
It's all elf drama. And what would happen, i don't know, just painting a picture if people were to find out that this person's compatriots were helping them keep up an illusion of fake identity that would end up with them either in prison, beheaded, destitute.
00:32:50
Speaker
My bad. You know what? You got me there again. bad. I would say you are We have a saying in Ulethor Sayad. It's, you're complicit.
00:33:02
Speaker
So, I guess you're in on it now. The point is, the point is, you know, the point is I've been really myself all the time, and I really appreciate you two, and I feel we've grown a very authentic friendship, and i've I've been lying about my identity to protect myself and also enjoy luxuries.
00:33:19
Speaker
But I just don't want to die and then have you two put together a really touching ceremony for Bonalyn Baydark. I can promise you I will not be doing that.
00:33:30
Speaker
Pimk, you're mad at me! Yeah. I have time and time again put my life and Clay's life on the line for all the crap that you have gotten us into repeatedly.
00:33:50
Speaker
What crap have I gotten this into? Oh, I just knocked over a house for you. That wasn't for me. That was for, uh, oh shit. That was for me. Yeah.
00:34:01
Speaker
Okay. That was for me. Yeah. You got me there. And I guess you think that it doesn't, you know, it's not because you didn't know my real name. It doesn't count anymore. The friendships and everything. You know what? I, I don't know right now.
00:34:14
Speaker
Maybe we all just need take a beat and also you owe me 100 gold. Fine. I hand over my entire gold purse, which is 110 gold pieces.
00:34:26
Speaker
There. I added a tip since you've been a very, very good employee. Nice. Glimki leaves. Oh. Clay? Do you feel the way Glimki does?
00:34:37
Speaker
I'm just confused. Lady Faunolin. I guess not Lady Faunolin? No, Lady Faunolin, please. I didn't want to be persecuted. i just... I don't know. How did you come... Like... I'm just so confused. This is completely unexpected.
00:34:57
Speaker
Um, it I guess ah don't I don't totally know how to dis... Well, which part confuses you? I don't know. It must have been really scary to hide all this all this time.
00:35:13
Speaker
and I don't know. Like, does no one know who you are except me and Glimki now? Fallo knows. Fallo's been very hurtful, actually. Fallo's kind of in on it. And on what? like what how Like, what is happening? Like, what what are you doing this?
00:35:29
Speaker
I guess the situation is that, like, I was politically persecuted, cut forward 80 years. I was toiling in the fields, kind of. Actually, it was a tailor, but I was a laborer.
00:35:42
Speaker
didn't like it. And um basically, for my own personal reasons, which are very good and very compelling, i decided to be Fawner than Veydark for a while.
00:35:55
Speaker
and that's when you met me. Okay. I mean, yeah, I guess I'm coming around to it. It's just so, I don't know, unexpected. I don't know anything about you, it feels like.
00:36:07
Speaker
Well, I mean, your name isn't really Florifana. But you know my real name. It's Clay. Well, now you know my real name too. We've had a lot of names for each other. We've been Rumpus.
00:36:17
Speaker
We've been Florifana. You've been Clay. You've been second best friend. We've been a lot of things to each other. And now I just happened happen to be... Farida throw in into you. Well, what if something like this happens again and, and like one of us becomes incapacitated? Like, is someone going to come after you? Like, is someone going to come after the real Lady Fondalyn?
00:36:40
Speaker
Like, where is she? ah She's like being nasty in the forest. she's like being She's like coughing blood into a handkerchief 10,000 miles away.
00:36:50
Speaker
you don't need to worry about her. Also, I'm way better looking than her, so I'm doing amazing things for her reputation. I guess, yeah. I mean, we've been going around...
00:37:02
Speaker
like working for you, Lady Fonelin, and like with stakes on like Lady Fonelin's reputation. So I guess I'm just, I want to know like where this is going. Like, do you want to continue being her?
00:37:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah, no. So all the reputation stuff, don't get me wrong, I'm vain. I like it when people like me, but it's been more of a, It's really important that people respect me and don't question my position because I could lose it all and be persecuted kind of a thing.
00:37:30
Speaker
Like the reputation is not just vanity. You know, it's kind of been like, be cool or potentially lose it all. Playing a high stakes game.
00:37:41
Speaker
Then couldn't you be anyone you wanted? You don't have to be someone else. You could be yourself, but someone new. Well, Clay, you've created a paradox because myself likes opulence.
00:37:54
Speaker
So I could be anyone else, but I'd rather be someone rich. And honestly, you can make up a name, but Lord Halfwit Diddle Doddle doesn't really get you through the door.
00:38:06
Speaker
So I guess if we find the princess, is that what your wish will be? To become rich and then you can be whoever you want? I mean, wealth will be part of it, but actually I'll be... Freeing my family from our persecutors, primarily.
00:38:21
Speaker
And don't know how far a boon goes, but if I can get back our title, our rightful lands and our ancestral home while I'm at it, I'll go ahead and do that too. And then money with whatever else is left.
00:38:35
Speaker
know how much the credit goes for. So well where are your family now? You're just getting my whole little backstory, aren't you, Clay? ah i mean, I guess you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
00:38:48
Speaker
ah just, it must have been hard, like, hiding all this. And don't know. Like, I'm not going to tell anyone. It hasn't, honestly, it it has been hard. Like when people have tried to kill me and when my blackmailing has gone horribly awry and the multiple assassination attempts and whatnot.
00:39:06
Speaker
That has been hard, but honestly, I've felt more myself these last few weeks being myself as Fawn and Lynn Badark than felt the 80 years prior.
00:39:18
Speaker
I was a shadow of myself for many years. And as wretched as it may sound, when I am being petty and ridiculous and blackmailing people and being spiteful, that is me being my truest self.
00:39:34
Speaker
And I'm sorry that I lied to you about my name. And I'm sorry for the many quandaries I've put you in. But I'm not sorry for it the pettiness and the quandaries and the and the and the foolishness and the ridiculousness because that's that's the core of who I am.
00:39:53
Speaker
And if we're friends, then that's what you're friends with. I haven't known you for very long, but I think we are friends. We've gone through a lot already together, and I like you as you are. So I guess it's just I didn't know there was so much more to learn about you.
00:40:12
Speaker
You know, I'll use my last remaining three coppers. Glimke, really? think he really dried up the coffers there. He really took me to the cleaners. What a good employee, am I right? Cleaning.
00:40:24
Speaker
Just a little cruel joke. That's part of me too. The point was, you know, I'll buy us some drinks and I'll and give you the whole sordid tale. You asked where my family is. Many of them are unjustly imprisoned and the other half are running a really cute and respectable shop in a town called Little Hambling.
00:40:42
Speaker
all They run a shop. It's called Bodkins on the Cross. I'm really good at sewing. I did it for like 80 years. I think if we can save this princess and get the boon from the king, then we can... I want to help you save your family also.
00:41:00
Speaker
And I want to help you make a shop and spend time with your dad. Yeah. I think that'd be nice. Cool. So we're still good? We're still buddies?
00:41:12
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Cool. And as my buddy, if Glimki says my real name out loud, you'll punch him in the head for me? Yes, I think. We need to all be mind wiped so we have plausible die-dye ability.
00:41:27
Speaker
It's all good. Forget I said it. Just don't bury me in ugly-ass Vedark colors. Anyway. what are the Vedark colors again? and lighter Lighter blue and steel gray.
00:41:38
Speaker
Oh, light blue? Light blue and steel gray. Boring. Derivative. Plain. Washed out. Have some dynamitism. Also, lighter blue. That's not a color. They're so stupid.
00:41:53
Speaker
They do run the country, though. Anyway, we're good. claim He's really mad at me, but honestly, it's Tuesday, so what else is new? And, um...
00:42:05
Speaker
I think he'll come around. I hope so. i think he's just shocked by this
Planning the Journey and Spiritual Guidance
00:42:09
Speaker
news. Also, like, we just fought a demon and i don't know. It was really creepy and you he seemed to know me, the demon. What the hell?
00:42:21
Speaker
Yeah, so I don't know. I think he's just, I don't know. Everything's been going on. i think he'll come around. and what What are we doing now? Like, what's our next step?
00:42:32
Speaker
i didn't read where oh yeah I don't really know. Glimke often is kind of the driving force behind our... Okay, let me put it together. We don't need Glimke. Okay.
00:42:44
Speaker
I really wish Glimke was here, though. I hate when he's mad at me. Okay. So we got the key. Backrow was going to ruin my reputation, but that probably won't happen now, right?
00:42:55
Speaker
We should get on a boat, I think. Yeah, we have to chase after the people who took the princess and they went to the Anchor's Chain.
00:43:05
Speaker
Okay. And no idea where Prince Elling Malfurth is now. Is Tick getting us a boat? Oh! Oh! a stupid we've got it literally i've got it i've got it i know how to get us a boat it's easy it's actually so easy and it's actually insane that i didn't think of it before wish gloomki was here because then i could tell him and he'd be really impressed by how smart i'm being we have we're going to get the pralmi signet ring right and i'm literally the best in the business at impersonating nobles so what we're going to do is i'm going to forge us a document that says
00:43:38
Speaker
this ship is now being chartered by the prelmies to go to such and such place i will stamp it with the signet ring i'll dress up like bacra go down to the harbor and be like give us this boat we're going okay yeah okay but the prelmies aren't in shipping so maybe i should dress up like a humiliation i have a lot of blue face paint this could work We don't have a crest, though.
00:44:04
Speaker
Tick is supposed to come find us. What else did we ask from him? Should we meet with the princess's handmaiden? Oh, yes, we need to speak to Melara Melomni.
00:44:18
Speaker
Yes, we need to talk to her. don't know, Glimki should be here. I'm going to fling open the door as strongly as I can with my weak little arm right now and go, Glimki, I know you're mad, but we need to strategize.
00:44:33
Speaker
Glimki, I know how to get us a boat and it's really smart. Glimki, I'll buy you a book.
00:44:44
Speaker
Glimki, I'll have Fallow promise to oversee the azaleas while we're gone.
00:44:50
Speaker
Glimki, I'll make you my vizier when I'm queen of the forest.
00:44:55
Speaker
And we cut to Glimki. Where'd he go? Like up in the ah main hall, I think. Okay. Brightscale there or is he back in his chambers?
00:45:07
Speaker
I'd say he's near the front sitting in a pew. He's got a ah large tome open. slowly looking through it. I just want to walk and sit next to him in the pew quietly.
00:45:22
Speaker
He turns the page you... look over at this large illustration of a dragon with dozens of different scales, each of a different color.
00:45:34
Speaker
At first you see that there are birds circling around it, and then you realize those birds are actually dragons. And it outscales, outsizes every single one of them.
00:45:48
Speaker
fearsome god, no doubt. Indeed. Makrog is the Lord of Divine Radiance, right?
00:45:59
Speaker
Indeed, that is one of the domains he oversees. And also, people believe he will bring judgment, correct?
00:46:11
Speaker
Indeed.
00:46:13
Speaker
More than merely an arbiter of punishments, but... He does seek that he himself has sought to extinguish the dark forces of this world, going so far as to cast his firstborn child into the abyss after she was corrupted.
00:46:41
Speaker
But it's not all fire and brimstone. I believe there's Room for mercy and redemption. Transformation. And what would you... What would you think is is too far gone?
00:46:59
Speaker
I guess, I mean, it's not your place to make the judgment. But in your studies or in your your scripture, what would a wicked person look like?
00:47:14
Speaker
For... My God, he battled his daughter for a year straight up and down the sides of Mount Otanida before carrying her down into the depths of the abyss himself.
00:47:32
Speaker
I'm sure there were many times when he wanted to give up before then, but he kept fighting even after the most foul of betrayals.
00:47:46
Speaker
Some have wondered if he was willing to fight for that long. Why did he not fight longer to save her?
00:47:58
Speaker
Others have wondered why he didn't, in his divine wisdom, immediately understand that some are beyond saving.
00:48:12
Speaker
Whatever you are grappling with, I personally believe that there are very few things one can't come back from, but there has to be
00:48:30
Speaker
sign, an effort, a willingness to change, even a small one to start.
00:48:40
Speaker
Because there has to be a limit, right? I believe there is, but if what you're saying some people believe that even Makrog, the god himself, should have kept fighting, I guess for even the chance at saving his own daughter?
00:48:59
Speaker
I mean, I guess it would be silly to not take that as a divine lesson. Makrog is not really the, um... the god for me, i think.
00:49:10
Speaker
But I do understand this importance in yours and Clay's life. think they have a lot to learn still here. As do I. Was there ever a moment where you felt that maybe Macrog was not the right one for you?
00:49:28
Speaker
There have been times where perhaps I was drawn to a less fierce God.
00:49:42
Speaker
The people of my home, many worship Yusik, Night's Watcher. And I think there's merit amongst the fire, the splendor of Makrog.
00:50:03
Speaker
I sometimes look to the night sky Look to Night's Watcher and take in the quiet of it all.
00:50:17
Speaker
Even if Makrog is not one whom you feel the strongest connection with, there are many within the Divine Octad that perhaps would speak more to you, would have more in line with what you personally value, and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:50:38
Speaker
Very few worship all eight equally, and those that do usually wind up at the Astral Cascade overseeing the High Church.
00:50:47
Speaker
Well, I'm more of a spiritual guy. i see. Where I'm from, we have a lot of different beliefs on the forces of nature, if you will.
00:51:00
Speaker
And when I look to Macrog and I see
00:51:06
Speaker
To us, fire is is part of the cycle. It's it's totally normal. But in wells and in the forest, a fire can burn and and provide warmth and and health. But if left unchecked, it's destructive and it's a danger.
00:51:22
Speaker
So we, like the Watcher, always keep an eye on our fires. And maybe if I'm not the one to place judgment, it's more my duty to just watch.
00:51:37
Speaker
Alas, a heretic in our midst. I kid. That is a beautiful sentiment. Thank you, Brightscale. I don't think you know how much this helped me.
00:51:52
Speaker
I'm just glad to know that it did. Also, just quick question. For 110 gold pieces, could we just reverse the whole brain melt thing again?
00:52:01
Speaker
Well, I could ask Macrog to smite her in a pillar of fire just melt the brain, but he's not inclined to that on most occasions.
00:52:13
Speaker
Fair. You know, again, it's not our place to judge and maybe it's not time for her judgment just yet. Maybe not just yet. Thanks, Bryce Hill. Of course. when When you go back there, could you please ask Clay to come speak with me? i want to make sure they don't slip out without saying goodbye.
00:52:34
Speaker
Of course. And as you walk out into that hallway, you hear... Glimki, I'll give you the larger half of my sandwich every single time we have sandwiches ever for the duration of the time we're hanging out.
00:52:51
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay. I told you, Clay, he loves sandwiches. It's the sandwiches that got him. It's the sandwiches that got him. I knew it.
00:53:02
Speaker
Glimke comes back in and he throws you your sack of gold again. Oh, a gift? What's this for? No, it's just, you're worth the investment.
00:53:13
Speaker
Oh, that's really nice. Why don't we split it? Because I think you're worth the investment too. It's okay. I've had some time to process all this. You're not mad at me anymore? I don't think I'm done. I'm just, I had some time.
00:53:27
Speaker
Okay. You can be mad at me for a little bit. I gave Clay like a really good speech while you were gone about how like all the pettiness and the piece of shitness and like the being terrible and unlikable. Like that's all me, you know, like you really got to know the real me.
00:53:40
Speaker
I'd said it better with Clay, but anyway. That's, that's reassuring. Thank you. So take the time you need. Okay. Yeah, I'm good. Let's go. Yeah, okay. Let's go get sandwiches and talk about plans.
00:53:54
Speaker
Yes. Are we finally going to leave this town? Or what's the deal? Well, I have such a good plan to get us a boat for free. And it's really actually good. And I'm going to be super myself to do it, which is means I'm going to lie and pretend to be someone else.
00:54:07
Speaker
Okay, so I think what we should do is we should either, i was thinking about it. I actually think that what we should do is get ah humiliation signet ring, which I think we can do.
00:54:20
Speaker
And then I think we should go down to the docks, for forge a document saying, I'm a humiliation. We're chartering this ship to go to the Isles. Stamp it with the signet ring. I'll paint myself blue, lie my little ass off, and then we get on the boat.
00:54:34
Speaker
How much gold do we have now? No, we don't have to pay. That's the thing, because they own the ships. We just have to find a humiliation ship and say, we're chartering you, baby. How much gold do we have now?
00:54:45
Speaker
Oh, I have 110 gold pieces. I have 100 too, so I think we still have 200 gold. Okay, that's not bad. Did we talk about how much it was to just get on a boat?
00:54:57
Speaker
Oh, how much is it to just get on a boat? I believe when you last spoke to the Harbor Master, that concept did arise. And passage for three from Airdenine to Shade Tree Shores, which, depending on your perspective, would be the first island in the Anchor's Chain. So just like getting you to the islands in the first place would be about 50 gold for the three of you combined.
00:55:21
Speaker
What? 50 gold for the three of us Yes. What the hell have we been doing? Are you shitting me right now, Glimki? Let's just go to the doc.
00:55:32
Speaker
Let's just... Okay, okay, okay, ok ok okay, okay. The cool bird wanted to see us, and I want yeah our payout. And I have to say goodbye to Fallow, because if she dies and I haven't told her I loved her, I'll throw myself in the ocean.
00:55:46
Speaker
Got it. And she could die any day. She's so old. Yeah, fair. Why don't you go... ah how are you feeling? Like, pretty shit?
Concerns and Reflections
00:55:54
Speaker
Like, pretty shit, yeah. Yeah, fair.
00:55:56
Speaker
Okay, well, Clay, Brightscale wants to talk to you first. Oh, okay. Then we could wait. Like, i don't know if Tick's gonna know where we are. He's a pretty resourceful guy. Maybe he will.
00:56:08
Speaker
And then we'll go see, uh, yeah. Go back to the house, say our goodbyes, check on the flowers, and let's get the hell out of Dodge. We're going to get on a boat. Amazing.
00:56:19
Speaker
Out of character, I'm racking my brain for any other loose ends we would have to tie up here. Oh, Malari Malani. Malani Marinelli. The handmaid. Yeah. Malani Marinelli. We have to talk to Tick and find out when we can speak to her. Hopefully it's tonight.
00:56:32
Speaker
Okay. Okay. We have to talk to her it could It could give us more information. It's pursuant to finding the princess, at least. It may not be getting on a boat, but let's talk to Tick and see when we can see her. If it's like a week from now, maybe we just go.
00:56:46
Speaker
But I think it'd be cool to see her. Maybe we could just write her a letter. Yeah, potentially. Oh, Clay! Oh my God, Clay! What? I'm actually the worst. I'm really self-centered and I should work on that, if nothing else.
00:56:58
Speaker
You said the demon thing knew you? Yeah, I don't know. it dragged me. crocodile dragged me down into the water like really far and I thought I saw fire play are you from hell i I don't know and he called me something and i don't know if he was talking to me or if he mistook me for someone but clay no one has mistaken you for anyone ever don't know I think I can pass as a flora fauna
00:57:30
Speaker
Okay, maybe someone mistook you for your other identity, but you look like nobody else on this planet. But then what could he possibly want with me? i don't know. Do you have any, like, spooky things in your backstory?
00:57:41
Speaker
Not that I can think of. but you You know who your dad is. Who's your mom? I don't have one. Clay. What? That's not how that works.
00:57:52
Speaker
What? You have a mom. ah No, I don't. I've only ever had my dad in my life. So maybe your mom is like the queen of hell or something.
00:58:02
Speaker
Oh my God, Clay, are you noble too? What? Clay is obviously someone infernally important. Brunke goes back upstairs to talk to Bryce Gilles.
00:58:14
Speaker
I'll go with you. i need to talk to him too. I'm going toddle out and buy some sandwiches. So the two of you head off to the the lobby, the atrium, whatever you want to call it, the hall, the main hall.
00:58:27
Speaker
Fonelin toddles off to buy sandwiches. Yes, Glimke loves them. And yeah, it hasn't been long that Brightscale's where you left him, still reading that book. Uh, Brightscale work? You wanted to talk to me?
00:58:39
Speaker
Ah, yes. And Glimke, have you come with, or have you just like... I'm gonna go wander around. This is like, there's like the big statue with the crystal. That's all here, right? Yeah, the crystal is like suspended above the ground.
00:58:50
Speaker
Cool. Yeah, I'm just walking around looking at stuff. Yeah, it's like this big tapestry portraying different moments in the many adventures of Macrog. As you're walking around, I think your eyes are drawn.
00:59:04
Speaker
Like I said, ah I think in the past, there's like a lot of stained glass. Your eyes are drawn to this one part of this stained glass tableau. and you see this familiar depiction of mcrog this dragon with blue and green and red and silver and gold scales locked claw in claw with another dragon this one is silver and slender and appears to have a brain growing out of its back
00:59:38
Speaker
And you see in one part of the depiction, the two are fighting in the sky. And then in the next, you see they are diving deep into the ground. And then in the third, you see this other dragon is imprisoned in a metallic ball, almost like an egg, deep beneath the ground.
00:59:59
Speaker
And Macrog is flying away. You see a single blue piece of glass in the corner of his eye. And Clay, you go and speak with the bright scale. and He says, yes, I'll keep it short, but frankly, prior to last week, it had been some time since we'd seen each other.
01:00:25
Speaker
And now of the three times I've seen you in the last two weeks, two of those occasions you've been on death's door.
01:00:36
Speaker
Or, and he like looks you over, looks at the bloodstain on your and your clothes, or at least the next best thing. I'm not here to pass judgment. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life.
01:00:51
Speaker
But I am worried about you and whatever line of employment you've found with this noble woman seems to come with a high degree of danger.
01:01:03
Speaker
There is a mission, more of a pilgrimage, going to Al Arsha in a few weeks time.
01:01:14
Speaker
And I was wondering if you would care to join some members of our congregation. They're going to go there to the Holy Land and learn from the locals and speak with the dragon lords and learn more about our God, Makrog and It might just be a little bit safer than whatever you're currently embroiled in If you want to come with, you'd be more than welcome.
01:01:40
Speaker
The church is covering all expenses, so don't worry about anything like that. Wow. um Thank you so much for the offer, but... And I can't even begin to thank you for all the help you've given me and my friends over the past couple of days.
01:02:00
Speaker
ah I just, things suddenly got kind of rough for me. i can't lie to you I've made some mistakes and I'm trying atone for them and make things right.
01:02:16
Speaker
I think I'm making some progress. I'm trying to figure things out, make sure I've fixed what I've done wrong.
01:02:26
Speaker
And I'm trying to find a way to do that, that Makrog would be okay with. I don't know if I'm ready to choose the safer route right now. Yeah, I just am struggling a little to understand Makrog's guidance for me.
01:02:44
Speaker
can kind of feel the judgment sometimes, but I want to make things right first. You know, it's just kind of tough and I don't really know what I'm doing.
01:02:56
Speaker
Of course, of course. Well, I would say be careful you're not inferring Macrog's judgment from your own and be kind to yourself.
01:03:12
Speaker
Whatever mistakes you may have made are no different than the mistakes any of us have made.
01:03:22
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you again for all your help. you You were right. It's been a while since you know I came to visit you before all this stuff started happening. The princess is missing and everything.
01:03:36
Speaker
I wanted to ask you As well, do you know anything about when we first met before I kind of woke up from my sickness?
01:03:50
Speaker
Because yesterday, me and Glim Kiwi fought Lamoris, the skull thief, and he seemed to recognize me.
01:04:01
Speaker
And I'm just kind of worried about what that might mean. Well, for starters, I don't know who or what a Lemores the Skull Thief is, but sounds like a bad individual.
01:04:16
Speaker
What was the name that it called you? The Child of Ver... Verily? Verily. Child of Verily. Is that a name? Sounds like it could be, though not one I'm familiar with.
01:04:31
Speaker
I don't know how much you know about who you are, where you're from. And I don't know how much it is my place to fill in the blanks.
01:04:43
Speaker
It would be my advice to go speak with your father. He might be able to provide some more information that perhaps is not mine to share. I'm confident he would be happy to see you, so it's perhaps two birds, one stone situation.
01:05:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think it is a good idea. i haven't seen him in a while and I miss him. but I just don't want to bring any danger to him at this time, I guess.
01:05:16
Speaker
And yeah, I don't really remember anything. All I know is that you saved me back then and you've been saving me again this time. So I just, I'm going to keep going the way I am and hopefully things work out.
01:05:31
Speaker
I'll do my best. Yeah, thank you. ah best is all any of us can do. He gets to his feet and kind of opens his arms up offering a hug.
01:05:43
Speaker
Oh, I bear crush him. oh You take care of yourself, Clay Campbell, and I'm sure I'll be seeing you again real soon.
01:05:54
Speaker
You will. I will come and visit you more, I promise. I look forward to it. Perhaps next time it can be less somber affair. Maybe we'll get lunch. Do you still like beef patties?
01:06:06
Speaker
Yeah. Next time I do want visit Alarsha someday. That does sound like it would be really educational. If you change your mind any time in the next few weeks, you're always welcome to to come with.
01:06:19
Speaker
Thank you. I'll think about it. Of course. And yeah, he waves goodbye and you and Glimke head off outside and you see Fondlin kind of doubled over holding ah couple sandwiches, but very clearly out of gas. oh yeah good Oh, did you please tell me you didn't want cheese?
01:06:46
Speaker
i didn't get cheese and physically I cannot go back and get the cheese. all good. What kind did you get? like got you salami no cheese. I got Glimpki all the vegetables. And I got me salami and cheese.
01:07:06
Speaker
Thank you. Sounds pretty good.
Relaxation and Recovery Plans
01:07:08
Speaker
Absolutely. Glimpki, here's your sandwich. And here's bigger half of my sandwich. No, you can you can have a whole sandwich.
01:07:17
Speaker
No, no. I think you need it. No. eat the whole sandwich. no I won't. Okay. Good.
01:07:28
Speaker
I'm going to wrap it up in some burlap, put it in my bag. You can do whatever you want. I'm going to give it back to you when you're on the couch.
01:07:39
Speaker
I like the idea that Fawn and Lynn just like constantly ask Clay and Glimke if they have food in their bags. I'm gonna offer some to you guys too. Guys, this salami sandwich is really good.
01:07:51
Speaker
you guys want any? That is good. It's pretty good. i have the same sandwich. It's better than the old veggie one. Okay, well, I'm learning our orders for next time.
01:08:05
Speaker
i think that's fair. I don't think we've ever asked our deli order. and Why have we never done this? What do we eat normally? Sometimes I eat like soup in the background. meat, fish, jerky. Okay. Yeah, I think we drank milk at a bar once.
01:08:19
Speaker
yeah Yeah. This was a good time. We've had some good times. on a pretty liquid diet. Yeah. The corset forces up solids, so you have to be careful. awesome Okay.
01:08:32
Speaker
Back to the house. Do I get any HP back from eating a sandwich? Nope. Is that how that works? we haven't rested We haven't rested yet. Why don't we just rest here? Or do we want to go back to the house?
01:08:43
Speaker
Um, maybe, I don't know. Let's just rest here, probably. It's like midday, for what it's worth. You, you, you, because remember, you you went down first thing in the morning.
01:08:54
Speaker
So, you know, it's like, it's just like just past noon, probably, after all this is taken care of. Oh, son of a bitch. Okay, then let's go back to the house. You guys are going to make me walk the city like this?
01:09:06
Speaker
How else are we going to get around? Guys, we have 200 gold. We can just get a carriage. Oh my god. Well, that's okay. Let's not burn through it. Okay, no, but hear me out.
01:09:17
Speaker
Spa day.
01:09:22
Speaker
treat! Okay, let's go. I'm going to hail down a taxi carriage. I'm supposed to get on a boat. No, but we're gonna go to the spa. There's probably a spa on the Anchor's Chain.
01:09:34
Speaker
Probably. but I need a spa day now Damn.
01:09:41
Speaker
How much does a carriage to the Berthold Manor cost? Three silver. Okay, that's pretty good. I have no concept of what money he buys.
01:09:54
Speaker
Me neither. i found out boat for three people to the Anchor's Chain is only 50 gold. I know, that's actually so wild that we were like, I'm going to, we're going to break into a house, steal a ring, board a sports document. You're going to Tobias Fumke your way onto the boat.
01:10:10
Speaker
Fakra asking us for how much a thousand gold is actually insane. Now, to be fair, she didn't ask for anything. She asked for a key. Oh, true, true. It's the eyes of Erdine. Yeah, they're the ones who extorted you.
01:10:23
Speaker
ah thousand gold? God dang. We're never going to touch that kind of money again. Well, we'll see. But now we know all it takes is for you to win three fights.
01:10:36
Speaker
should we go fight no no no wouldn't that be so funny there's too much math involved in that puzzle that's true oh but this time gleam key could fight and we could do the magic on the sidelines oh bottle it in her many many spells yes this time gleam key can get addicted to drugs no no well you left plants how's your withdrawal going still bad right I feel like, do you know the the goo they put in the cracks on pavement?
01:11:09
Speaker
That's what every bone in my body feels like. Tar? Tar. Oh. To the spa? Were we on spa? guess so. getting a positive reception. We can just go back to the manor and rest up there. Yeah, I need a nap.
01:11:26
Speaker
Spa. It's going to be spa. It's spa. Okay. Taxi. Okay. Okay. ah Hello, Gov. Hello, Gov. Take us to a spa, please. Hello, musical theater nerds. Have you ever wished you could explore more of your favorite musical, talk to the characters, and maybe even change the ending?
01:11:45
Speaker
Welcome to Encores and Ability Scores. Each week, for your listening pleasure, our cast of intrepid thespians mash up a new musical with the sword and sorcery world of Dungeons and Dragons.
01:11:56
Speaker
We believed that the magic of musicals doesn't have to end when the curtain goes down, so we take it to the tabletop. We are a live play D&D podcast with new episodes out on Mondays. You can find us on social media at D&D Musical Pod. That's D-N-D Musical Pod.
01:12:12
Speaker
Or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:12:30
Speaker
After a beautiful experience at the spa, you still feel like shit.
01:12:38
Speaker
You are three gold pourer, but you all had your muscles rubbed. And you know to Well, Fondlin will say one exhaustion is removed. Nice. And how much HP do we get back?
01:12:49
Speaker
None. The fact that i gave you back one level of exhaustion for one gold piece is ludicrous. What treatments did we get at the spa? Seaweed wrap.
01:13:00
Speaker
Algae wrap. Rice paper wrap. Ooh. Cardboard wrap. It's a little rough. Sandpaper wrap. And the optional waterboarding treatment. I see. Sounds really relaxing.
01:13:12
Speaker
Clay doesn't take you to the best spa. Me? yeah The carriage driver. The carriage driver. Don't put that evil on Clay. so Feeling raw?
01:13:24
Speaker
Your skin is kind of burning a bit? You've rejected the optional eel treatment, the eel wrap? Fonelin would not reject the eel wrap. Okay, Fonelin. No.
01:13:35
Speaker
You take four lightning damage as an electric eel bites onto you. The collagen production. I can feel it. And the three of you are dropped off at the entrance to Berthold Manor.
01:13:53
Speaker
We head back to the manor. You ready to head in? Yeah. Do you knock? Do you just open the door? This is my house. I'm not. What have I ever knocked? You know, hey, I don't know.
01:14:03
Speaker
Some people would say not your house. Two more people would probably say that after today, but that's neither here nor there. You push the door open and step into the entry hall.
01:14:18
Speaker
There's a few candles lit, casting a warm glow in the dark corners of the manor. You look up the stairs and you see Fallow. Standing there, hands on the banister.
01:14:34
Speaker
She silently walks down the stairs, takes a while with her arthritic knees, but she takes you by the hand and says, let's get you to bed.
01:14:50
Speaker
Fallow. Fonelin immediately starts crying and collapses into Fallow's arms. Fallow... like a building being demolished starts to collapse under the weight of you.
01:15:04
Speaker
Oh. And then fully collapses as no one steps in to help. I'm looking at the flowers.
01:15:12
Speaker
Are you okay? Are you good? Oh, God, your knees. Are you good? You're squishing me.
01:15:19
Speaker
sorry. I always hurt you and I always hurt your feelings and I always cause you problems. I'm so sorry. Let's get you to bed. We can talk about this in the morning.
01:15:31
Speaker
I give Fallow immediately as soon as we get to my room. I immediately start giving her the rundown of what I endured. And I tell her she was right and I should not have fought in the fight. But I did win and I was badass and she would have really liked when I gave him the pile driver.
01:15:45
Speaker
hi but Thank you for telling me. In the future, maybe don't tell me. i think I'd be better off not knowing, frankly. But I'm glad you're okay. Did you tell her about the mind stuff?
01:15:59
Speaker
I'll tell her the whole story. So about what we talked about before, are you ready to give up the ghost? Another near-death experience in less than 24 hours since we last spoke?
01:16:12
Speaker
I'm ready to add their name to my list of enemies and um find the princess and then have the power to annihilate their entire lineage.
01:16:29
Speaker
All right. Well, I'm tired of being mad at you, so. Oh, thank God. What can I do to help? I need your help plotting revenge.
01:16:40
Speaker
And
01:16:42
Speaker
this i'd like I thought that was a good end stinger for a scene.
01:16:49
Speaker
Fallow says, da-la-la-la! Now, what the fuck do you mean by bench? Okay, so he took my brain from me, and I'm pretty sure he's relatively powerless now. I'm planning, I told Mimki I was going to let it go. This is me we're talking about. Are you sure he is?
01:17:11
Speaker
Well, I'm going to find out tonight from Tick, and if he is, I'm literally going to crawl across the city if I have to and do bad things to him. So I was planning on resting now for as long as I can so that I'm feeling better for later. Very well.
01:17:25
Speaker
Yes, father. Yes, revenge. Good, yes. This is the father I know. Will you rest and whenever this tick arrives, I will alert you to his presence. And in the meantime, will you please rest? You look respectfully, respectfully, the worst I've ever seen you.
01:17:45
Speaker
Oh, God, that's tough. There is a vulture circling this room.
01:17:52
Speaker
Okay, don't have to go too far, but you know, as I started laughing, I felt a little bit of my soul escape with my breath. So you might be right. I often am. Are there X's on my eyes or do I still have pupils?
01:18:03
Speaker
You never did. ah All right. Let me, let me, wear oh gosh, your skin is so raw. I know. It's like I've been flayed. I'm not remotely snatched. ah I hate to see you this way.
01:18:19
Speaker
Is this better or worse than the blocky contour? The contour was really bad. was really bad. It was really bad. And you let me leave the house, so maybe I need revenge on you. Okay, take it easy. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You nearly got revenge on me in the lobby.
01:18:33
Speaker
Big oaf. Yeah, if you lose your other hip, you won't have any hips left, so I should really be careful. That's true. You do so much with one, though. I do with one what many do with two, I've often said.
01:18:47
Speaker
Hey, yes, Woody knows what you're talking about. where are we out? Woody? Oh, no, what did he do? He just can't keep up. um Yeah, he has an old look about him.
01:18:58
Speaker
Indeed. He's handsome, but no, no, you have you're a young 80. He's like an old 85. eighty five Something like that. I haven't reviewed his employment record. Also, probably morally dubious for me to be sleeping with him, given I kind of manage his employment.
01:19:17
Speaker
Fado, who are you talking to right now? Following the dark. Yeah, wink, wink. That's right. Listen, I'm sure Amala will talk to you in the morning, but I may have been scheming oh while you were gone.
01:19:39
Speaker
And I recently left some literature next to Amala's wine. Ophala, what have you done? Well, I maybe found a pamphlet ah proclaiming the virtues or merits of the round earthers.
01:19:59
Speaker
And Amala might be attending a retreat at the Jha'arath Learning Center in a short while to learn more about how Zav is actually around.
01:20:11
Speaker
ah Where is the Jha'arath Learning Center? It would be on Kobaris. One of the islands? Yes. Saloo!
01:20:22
Speaker
Wait, why, why are you reacting this way? Because you're so smart and cool and hot and you're just the best person in the world. What do you, what do you What do you mean?
01:20:34
Speaker
but do you mean I mean, I'm getting on a boat and going with Amala to the flat round earth society meeting in the Anchor's Chain. Okay. But just to be clear, you weren't planning on going to the Anchor's Chain, right? Like I'm taking you out of the way of danger and away from whatever machinations you've had in the works.
01:20:51
Speaker
Um, no, I was going to get on a boat. I actually have to say goodbye. for the fuck's sake. Oh, that's so funny.
01:21:03
Speaker
Later that night, well after Supernova, perhaps midnight or so, there is a knock on the door. Fallow answers it and comes to get Fawnel in and sends for the two of you.
01:21:22
Speaker
And Tick is, he's the eases there wearing a hooded cloak and he's looking little jittery, perhaps. Kind of looks over his shoulder a couple times as he's brought into the lobby.
01:21:39
Speaker
Fallow hobbles off. And the four of you are left alone. Okay, Tick. what's What's the stitch? we I know we we ran off and their house was a big hole in the ground.
01:21:53
Speaker
do you think we really killed that thing? Hard to say. I am no Diabolist. It's possible remains somewhere in the greater cosmos, but I think it's part In the history of the House of Prailmi is over at the very least.
01:22:15
Speaker
Good.
House Prailmi's Fate and New Alliances
01:22:16
Speaker
Follow-up question. Do you think they heard me when I shouted about the rise of House of Adark? Undoubtedly.
01:22:27
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's cool. but At least there's no question about who did it now. And if they were to seek revenge... They would chase down and follow whoever the Vaidark person is.
01:22:41
Speaker
Correct. Whether it's this one, or maybe a different Vaidark. You catch my drift? Faunalyn is looking at Glinky. She has her hands on her temples. Her eyes are wide as hell.
01:22:56
Speaker
And she's looking at him like, what are you doing? Like another Va- like, whoa, relax. Like another Vaedark. You know what I'm saying? Like another one with the Vaedark name, whether it's Faunalyn Vaedark. Right.
01:23:09
Speaker
or someone else. Okay, so... Blank Vaedark, you know what I'm saying. I hear the words you're saying. i understand what they mean as words, but Lord Gleir was at a table with this Vaedark.
01:23:25
Speaker
And then two people ran off with her, saying, for the glory of House Veydok, or whatever bullshit you spouted. Point being, point being i have managed to assuage his wrath.
01:23:38
Speaker
He is more concerned with getting out of the city before too many people ask questions. The same goes for Lady Bakra. She will not be spreading any more slander at this time. Oh, so you're... Whoa, wait a minute.
01:23:53
Speaker
You're still like... In cahoots. As always, I am a loyal servant of House Prailmi. That has not changed. Except for killing their source of power.
01:24:05
Speaker
Did they question you at all about your role and what happened? They had questions. I think I managed to avoid detection for the time being.
01:24:19
Speaker
And it is my hope that I can guide the house to a brighter future. Take... And the other servants at House Prilmi? There's no house now. Are they being let go?
01:24:32
Speaker
Did they die in the sinkhole? Some were killed. ah Some ran off into the woods and presumably have rejoined society at large, which is truthfully one of the main reasons the Lord has insisted we leave tonight.
01:24:52
Speaker
He is concerned that certain rumors will begin to spread, as am I. oh man. Where are they going? Good question. We will be returning to their winter home in the Sparkling Woods.
01:25:06
Speaker
It's, uh... As, well, maybe some of you would be familiar, it's about... 12 days' ride south of here. It is...
01:25:18
Speaker
A beautiful place, and I recommend you do not visit it ever. Sounds good to me. The Lord will not seek retribution at this time, but should Lady Veydok cross into his domain, I cannot promise that she will be protected.
01:25:36
Speaker
Why would you say that? I'm not going back there. That's crazy. How is he today? Is he still juiced on diabolical power? Or is he like weakened and shriveled now?
01:25:47
Speaker
Vulnerable. As powerful as ever. Fuck! That's so great. I'm so glad that he's doing so well.
01:25:58
Speaker
I'm adding a provision to our deal retroactively, and because I got mind-judged in an unbelievable way, you're honor bound to hold it up. You have to spit in every single food you serve him for the rest of the time you work there.
01:26:15
Speaker
Of course. Thank you. Well, may I present an alternative? Shit. Piss. No. Flood? Tick. Why don't you just come with us?
01:26:28
Speaker
Like, not forever, but do you really want to keep going back to this house of murderers? and I know you have this this idea that perhaps you could shape them into a better future, but then what if they figure it out that you sold them out and they'll absolutely pluck you?
01:26:46
Speaker
I betrayed my lord. It would be only fitting were I punished. No, Tick, no, no. You did the right thing. This isn't something worthy of punishment. or if anything, it'd be some unjust, vengeful ritual killing just like all the other stuff they did.
01:27:04
Speaker
We're leaving. I'm not going to say where to. Unless you're interested in coming along. Leave all this crap behind. We could maybe use your help. And then, you know, when we're tired of each other, you can go your separate ways. Find a new life.
01:27:18
Speaker
You're pretty handy. Or wingy. I don't know. Give me a persuasion roll. Yes. Can we help by pitching further? Can we give him advantage?
01:27:30
Speaker
If you recall, you are still severely exhausted. Which means... All your ability checks are made with disadvantage. Yeah. That being said, if you and Clay would like to say something right meow that might tip the scales. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
01:27:48
Speaker
You can have half of every half of my sandwich for all time if you come with us. Here's proof. And I pull the other half of the sandwich out of my bag. You can have extra salami.
01:27:59
Speaker
And cheese. Or no cheese, whatever your preference. Actually, Clay, where where did we land on that? Do you like a cheese with an... Sorry. I'm not going to give you advantage, but I will lower the DC.
01:28:10
Speaker
Yes. Everybody loves sandwiches on this soup-based show It's not that high. I got a 9 plus 4. 13. Very low.
01:28:22
Speaker
Devastating. Fondlin, even in your weakened state, you're still pretty insightful. He looks sad, and he says, That is a very kind offer, and I do appreciate it.
01:28:38
Speaker
I will not forget what you have done for me, but I'm afraid my duties lie with House Prail me. That being said, ah deal's a deal, and payment is due.
01:28:57
Speaker
As I mentioned, Bacra will not speak your name. For the time being, and given that they are traveling south, I do not know how long it'll be before, if ever, they return to Erdineen.
01:29:11
Speaker
You should not need to worry for as long as you're here. At least, about her. All the other people trying to kill you might still be a problem, but that's taken care of, at least.
01:29:25
Speaker
Thank you, Tick. Very well done. He reaches and pulls this little strap from around his neck and holds out a silver whistle.
01:29:37
Speaker
Yes. The owlbears are coming with us, so I'm not sure how much good this will do you in the future, but should you find prail-me trained owlbears in your travels, this might help.
01:29:53
Speaker
It's attuned to their ears, so... Even a wild one might pause.
01:30:02
Speaker
Maybe. i wrote down some instructions and he hands you a little sheet of paper. It almost looks like Morse code. There's a little just like dashes and dots. And next to each of those is like, sit, stay, come attack.
01:30:17
Speaker
For what it's worth. There you are. Thank you. Very cool. I have reached out to house Marinelli. Lady Veydok should expect an invitation to lunch sometime soon.
01:30:31
Speaker
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little velvet box. Three. And he kind of looks around conspiratorially and then opens it up quickly and you see this flash of silver. There's this ring with the insignia of an owlbear on it.
01:30:46
Speaker
He slams it shut and pushes it into your hand, Glimke. starts to turn around. head for the door. And then he sighs and he reaches up and he pulls back this hood that he's wearing and he grimaces and plucks out one of his feathers and he holds it out to you.
01:31:10
Speaker
Should you ever find yourself in my ancestral home, stalact the city of endless night, you will be greeted as a friend. If you bear this mark.
01:31:22
Speaker
wow Wow. I'm like, Sorry I can't do more. I truly owe you a life, Dad, but perhaps this will be enough.
01:31:34
Speaker
Tick, you've given us plenty. Wait here a moment. I want to give you something. And I'm going to hobble upstairs. And hobble downstairs. With a book in my hand.
01:31:45
Speaker
Tick, you are a credit to the house that you belong in. But you are more so a credit to yourself. And you would be a credit to any house. And I hand over the book and it is ah a textbook on employment standards and employee rights.
01:32:03
Speaker
And I hand it over. Spit in every food and drink forever. Yes. Of course. Good. Take care, my friends.
01:32:15
Speaker
Thank you, Tick. And he lets himself out and... Spreads his wings and flies off into the night. Cool dude. Dang. Anyone else thinking that we could use the whistle to then get the owlbears to just eat them? But that's future thing.
01:32:32
Speaker
so No! Glimki? Glimki. That's a future thing. That's a future thing. But hear me out. Not right now. Not right now. Hear me out. Hear me out. No, no, no. We gotta get on a boat.
01:32:43
Speaker
We gotta get on a boat. but but but but but But we don't have to get on a boat. Yes, we do. Because we have to wait for a lunch invitation with the Mulanis. Hear me out. We sick the bears on them!
01:32:54
Speaker
Glimki please! Please Glimki! Glimki please! We're going to miss our chance Glimki! Glimki? Glimki? No. yeah I was just joking. that That's crazy.
01:33:07
Speaker
Okay, well why don't we do a classic tie break? There's three of us. Fallow will vote.
01:33:14
Speaker
Hello. She comes hobbling in. Hello, darling. Okay. What's your vote? Should we sick bears on the prail meat? There's no- What? What?
01:33:26
Speaker
What? Why? but I could take you in a fight right now. and The bears would be doing the fighting. The last thing you need to do is be in proximity to a man who melted your brain mere hours ago.
01:33:40
Speaker
God knows what else he can do. And furthermore, I don't know where you suddenly acquired the ability to sick bears on people, but I don't trust your abilities in this matter, frankly. Okay, we won't sick bears on them. And I look at Clay in a wink.
01:33:57
Speaker
Stop that. We can all see you. I'm saying we're not going to stick bears on them. Wink. like We can still see you winking. Clay wakes back. Florifana, I will fire you. Clay, we can see you too. We can just go to bed so that we feel better and tomorrow we can play with bears.
01:34:18
Speaker
No.
01:34:20
Speaker
Tomorrow,
Travel Negotiations and Creative Solutions
01:34:21
Speaker
lunch, and then maybe a boat. Lunch boat bears. Lunch boat bears, save the princess. Lunch boat, anchors, chain, silks, because we still owe somebody silks. Yes, Madame Fauvermont.
01:34:34
Speaker
Also princess. We have a whole other thing we're supposed to be doing. right You're right, you're you're right. So were just the bears will just be a quick footnote. in the epilogue maybe and they looked back fondly always on the time when they sicked bears on fondland's enemies in a timely manner oh god revenge is best served hot that's what everybody says you serve revenge hot while it's fresh is that how it i think that you have it backwards i think i took so many drugs in the last 24 hours i don't know what i have backwards
01:35:09
Speaker
Revenge dish served cold, right? Beside the point, go to sleep. Okay, good night. See you in the morning for bears. Night falls, night fell, night been fellin'.
01:35:21
Speaker
But day?
01:35:25
Speaker
Day come? Night but day. And now it's daytime. Night time. The sun bursts back into life As another day begins on Zav.
01:35:38
Speaker
For those of you who spent hit dice yesterday, you get one back. Oh my god. You're at full HP and spell slots. Oh my god. Fondlin is at two levels of exhaustion.
01:35:50
Speaker
Aye yi yi. Oh, man. Which means your speed is still halved and you have disadvantage on ability checks. God damn. You're useless. he I'm more useful than I was yesterday. And that's huge because I'm worth the investment.
01:36:07
Speaker
Every day I'm getting better. I'm going to keep telling myself that.
01:36:12
Speaker
Fonelin, if you happen to attend breakfast, we've kind of like narrated around the birth holds for the majority of episodes, really. Kind of since like episode five, they have really have not been present. They've kind of just been like, you know, I don't know, the neighbor looking over the fence. You never quite see them.
01:36:28
Speaker
But if you happen to join them at breakfast. Yeah, hang out with them every single day. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You sit down in the dining room and lavender porridge is brought and served with freshly squeezed orange juice straight from God's basket.
01:36:46
Speaker
And Amala adds some champagne to hers. And she looks at you and kind of crinkles her nose a little bit and says, Hello, dear.
01:36:59
Speaker
She's so breathy today. Have you been sleeping well? You look... A little tired, perhaps? Oh, Amala, Amala. Actually, yesterday i swung by Prailmi House just to say hi to Bacra because we're we were on good terms. But um it was so weird. The house like crumbled in on itself and these disgusting things like crawled out of the crypt. Like, I think they were doing weird arcane shit.
01:37:28
Speaker
People will be talking about it, but like ghouls and spooky things like crawled out of the crypt that they apparently keep below there. And it was just really weird and gross. And the shock of it, like, knocked me out almost. I feel terrible today just because I had to see such nasty things. Like, people like us shouldn't act like that.
01:37:50
Speaker
That is most remarkable, dear. You always say the most batshit things at breakfast. Have you ever heard of it? What? Okay. Yeah, that's my bad. No, no, I'm not complaining. It's just, that's crazy.
01:38:03
Speaker
have crazy days. I know. Like we have these lovely breakfasts with the delicious porridge and then I go out and I get up to madness. That's the you I know and love. I know, but then I bring it back home to you and you get to hear about it first because nobody's nobody else saw the Prealmy house collapse, but I did. That's... that's my welcome You're on the ground floor of this hot goss, which is actually above where the Prealmy house is now. hot but You're terrible. I love you. i know. Dear, I'm so sorry about telling everyone you have sex with your servants. I misunderstood the situation.
01:38:39
Speaker
Yeah, you know what? I told people you were an alcoholic. So like, ridiculous, preposterous. And I pour myself some champagne into my own drink and then top her up.
01:38:51
Speaker
Yeah, she just starts free pouring from the bottle. and Anyway, feel like we always talk about me. ah What are you up to? What are your interests lately? What have you been reading? What have you been doing?
01:39:04
Speaker
Oh my goodness. I had the most wonderful idea. Oh, do tell. I was doing some reading and I heard this wonderful theory, maybe more than a theory because I think theories aren't true.
01:39:21
Speaker
i heard talk that Zav is actually round. It's not flat. Because if you think about it, a flat planet just doesn't really make sense. No, that's stupid. Does it go through the world like a frisbee?
01:39:32
Speaker
Exactly. Like gravity and basic fundamentals of science and la-ti-da probably wouldn't work. Probably. And what axis do we rotate upon? Do we spin? What's an axis? but Something around thing has, darling.
01:39:44
Speaker
Something we need. Kazrin's getting a bit of an axis. And he looks up from his, like, newspaper says, what the fuck? Yeah. It goes back to being an absentee husband.
01:39:55
Speaker
So I was thinking, and it's it's optional, and how do I put this? Kazrin would appreciate if you paid for your own passage. But I was thinking...
01:40:07
Speaker
of attending the Jar-Aruth Learning Center on Kalbaris. And we could learn firsthand from the wise teacher, Jar-Aruth, about why Zav is secretly round, and we could enjoy some of the other amenities. I believe they have disc golf.
01:40:22
Speaker
You know, disc golf never sat right with me because I don't think discs should be able to float. If you think about it, we're the only round things. That is... A very good point, actually. I i knew.
01:40:33
Speaker
Kind of goes against the whole ethos of what they're teaching there. But could be fun. Could be fun. Let's go check it out. I love that. And of course, paying for my own passage used nothing to me. So of course, Kazrin, say less. Say nothing at all.
01:40:47
Speaker
I'll handle it. In fact, I'll pay for Amala. I'll pay for everything. Don't worry. That's very generous of you. Thank you. I believe for you and Would you be bringing your friends along?
01:41:03
Speaker
You mean the servants that work for your house? Yeah, but you seem real chummy. Like I've never spent that much time with my servants. Anyway, sorry. going Oh, Garfield. ah I believe it'd be about 240 gold pieces for the four of you to make the voyage.
01:41:19
Speaker
And the learning center runs at a price of five gold pieces a night.
01:41:28
Speaker
Make a deception roll at disadvantage as you try not to betray how broke you are. Of course I would. Oh, she that's a 17 plus seven. So that's a 24 with disadvantage.
01:41:40
Speaker
That was just regular. Let's let's see. Oh yeah. Okay. Well, that's a 14 that time. So that's 23, 20, what? the money. twenty one he assumes you've got the money Of course, Kazarin. It's, you know, it's nothing to people like us. The only thing is we'll have to delay the trip because I'll have to write to my father and explain that we'll have to liquidate a small amount of assets and um that I'm no longer your guest and in fact you're sort of my guest and that your hospitality has concluded, which is of course no big deal. we just have to wait for the post to set.
01:42:15
Speaker
Give me an intimidation check. Why do I speak ever? With disadvantage. Fuck.
01:42:22
Speaker
Oh, well, okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, I'm so blessed today, guys. That was a 19 and a 15, which is a 22. Well, I suppose there's no need for that.
01:42:36
Speaker
Would you feel comfortable like, well... Kazrin, I don't want to offend your pride, and I fear that I've offended your manly pride as a nobleman suggesting that- What if you just pay for your passage and we'll cover the- was going to say, i was going to say I've offended you by implying something, and I'm so sorry. You are such a rich man and such a generous one. i feel that I've offended you by suggesting that- I would pay.
01:43:01
Speaker
So I'll pay for me, you pay for the other things, and then nobody's offended. I'm so sorry, by the way. And just for clarification's sake, not that money's tight or anything. i servants, are they part of the other things or are they part of your portion?
01:43:22
Speaker
Oh, Kazarin, I've got the servants. Don't worry. Don't They'll be my servants, okay? Don't worry about it. We'll put them in Vedark colors. Don't worry. Okay. If you're sure.
01:43:35
Speaker
Don't worry, Kazarin. You've been more than generous. Okay. My father has been so pleased to hear all the great things I have to say about your esteemed house. I'm glad to hear it.
01:43:47
Speaker
Yes, in fact, if you ever do manage to make that trip to Ulethor Thayad, you'll be given, you know, the nicest guest room in the family home. Seriously.
01:43:58
Speaker
Your family to me, your family to my family. That's very nice. Thank you. All right, well, back to my comics then. i mean, articles. Say hi to Garfield for me. Amala, when are we leaving?
01:44:11
Speaker
Well, the fun part is the flight departs first thing tomorrow morning. The flight? And by flight, I mean ship. oh We can't fly. We're not birds.
01:44:23
Speaker
What are we birds? What are we, balls? But not discs.
01:44:32
Speaker
No, we're people. Yes, quite. With hopes and weather souls dreams and hearts and souls. What do you dream of, Amala? This is the most insufferable rich white person conversation.
01:44:47
Speaker
I dream of one more mimosa before lunch. i cheers her. so A little later in the day, a messenger arrives, inviting you to lunch at House Marinelli the next day at one hour past noon.
01:45:05
Speaker
Glimki? Yes, ma'am.
01:45:08
Speaker
What's that over there? What's whatever? What? Look over there. What's that? if What is that? That looks weird. What am I looking at? While he looks, I am going to attempt to pickpocket the whistle off of him.
01:45:22
Speaker
Make a sleight of hand with disadvantage. Thank you. Okay, well, my luck has run dry. That was an eight. Plus five. Thirteen.
01:45:32
Speaker
Fonelin pokes you in the face. but And then as you're staring at her, she starts trying to like rifle through your pockets. What the hell? it was ah Where's the whistle? Where's the whistle, Grimki? I have the whistle.
01:45:45
Speaker
We're not doing that right now. Give it to me. We have a lunch date. Give it to me. No. We have a lunch date tomorrow. You want to you want me to sit around... We're not doing this right now.
01:45:57
Speaker
And just ah just to just just to make things clear, the ship leaves tomorrow first thing in the morning, and there is lunch. That's fine. I'll delay the ship.
01:46:08
Speaker
Don't even worry. What? Don't even worry. I'll delay the ship. I'm not worried. what is the meeting? Hold on. We're going to make both happen. Let's get everybody up to speed here. Why are we meeting with this other person?
01:46:20
Speaker
Melania Marinelli was in the princess's bed when the princess kidnapped. She's her handmaid. Who was in the room when the princess disappeared. She knows stuff. She was covering for the princess who was off to meet the the bastard prince of the North. Oh my God.
01:46:35
Speaker
Yeah. The bastard prince. She was off to meet him. And then there was mud on the ground. We can get into. Listen, we can do both. Here's what's going to happen. You guys are going to show up two hours early for lunch.
01:46:47
Speaker
Happens all the time. I'm going to fake a fit on the boat. Why don't we just take another boat? Just you go on that boat and we'll go on another one.
01:46:58
Speaker
This boat, but what boat? What boat, Glinky? We've got a boat. We've got a boat and we've got someone who can pay for everything on our way, including our lodging once we get to the Acre's Chain.
01:47:12
Speaker
Glinky, there's so many boats. This boat is a good boat. ah I like this boat and there will be a lot of drinks on board. Okay, well then, you know what? Oh, man.
01:47:24
Speaker
We're going to delay the boat. Easy. And then um you're going to show up three or four hours early for lunch. Okay.
01:47:34
Speaker
How are we going to make sure that it is delayed? I don't know. Okay. So number one, I'm going to get my period. Number two, I'm going to have a fit. Number three, if the fit doesn't work, I'm going to have a second fit, but this time with a knife in my hand and I'll fall and cut the sail.
01:47:51
Speaker
I think they're just gonna not let you on the boat. No, i I'll already be on the boat. A hysterical, tired-looking woman tried to destroy our sail. I think she's in withdrawal, and we've withdrawn her from the boat.
01:48:06
Speaker
I'll seduce the captain. Easy. I'll bribe the captain. Better. I want to exchange looks with Clay when she says she's going to seduce the captain. I'm hot!
01:48:17
Speaker
I can seduce a captain! I'm hot! Look, under normal circumstances, sure. Fonlin, I don't know if you've stumbled across a mirror in the last two days.
01:48:30
Speaker
so I have X's in my eyes instead of pupils. I could still get it. The vulture overhead. He'll go away. He'll give us the room. Okay.
01:48:43
Speaker
Fine. Okay. You two make your plans. What would you do? Go to lunch and then get on a different but boat. Let's find out if there is a different boat. Glimke said there was one.
01:48:55
Speaker
He went to talk to the Harbor Master. Which boat? We have some sort of knowledge that it costs 50 gold for the three of us to hop on a boat. Is there a boat? and Just because it costs 50 doesn't mean there's- There's a harbor full boats. To the harbor master.
01:49:11
Speaker
Post haste. I'm getting worked up.
01:49:17
Speaker
Well, hello there. I don't think you have a full understanding of what my job entails. Wait a minute. Is this the fish salesman?
01:49:28
Speaker
No, we've always sounded this way, sir. I'm pretty sure this is the fish salesman. I can get mighty southern if you want, but I'm more measured in my response.
01:49:43
Speaker
hello Oh, I'm more like this. Is that what you want? either of your boys. This is not what he sounded like. This is what he sounded like. That sounds like the fish salesman.
01:49:54
Speaker
ah Hello there, young master. Sure. Good to see you. You as well. I hope you enjoyed the fish that I brought you. I always have and I always will, I'm sure.
01:50:07
Speaker
I'm fortunately I'm empty handed today. Oh, that's all right. am curious about ferrying over to the Angers chain. Do we have any ships heading that way? And how much would it cost for three individuals to...
01:50:21
Speaker
hop on board. Right, so kind of a continuation of our conversation from about a couple days ago. Essentially, yes. I think my answer more or less remains the same, that I'm not like a vacation planner.
01:50:35
Speaker
It's not a vacation. I'm not a travel agent. I have records of the ships coming, sometimes of going, sometimes of where they're going. Okay, okay, okay.
01:50:47
Speaker
I believe I told you that... I believe Brimstone is departing for Shade Tree Shores before carrying on to Isiodar.
01:50:58
Speaker
But, you know. Okay. I don't have, like, a great knowledge. You might be able to find just, like, a ship. Okay, so... And, like, charter it. So, essentially, and just gotta walk up and down these docks and see if somebody will take us?
01:51:13
Speaker
I mean, it would probably be more beneficial than talking to me. Got it. I hate to be, like, useless, but... No, no, no, no, no. no no Never. You're never useless.
01:51:26
Speaker
Quick follow-up cue. Totally, like, kinda unrelated. What would be a common circumstance in which would delay a ship departing? A leak? Plague.
01:51:38
Speaker
Got it. Pirates. Goddess of the ocean coming forth to issue a grave warning. Yeah. Big fish, maybe jumping up on deck and like growing arms and killing people.
01:51:52
Speaker
Wow. These are the common ones. In my personal experience. Yes. Wow. Okay. All right. Good to know. Right. Yeah.
01:52:04
Speaker
Follow-up question. Totally unrelated. course. There is a ship supposed to be leaving to the Anchorage tomorrow morning. Where about would that be, Doc? If you're referring to the Brimstone. They're leaving tomorrow. I don't know the time. No, sorry. There's another ship.
01:52:22
Speaker
Fondelin, you're privy to another ship? I think it's the brimstone, buddy. Oh, it is. But that was the afternoon. Okay. So I am personally aware. i believe last time we spoke, I informed you of two ships departing.
01:52:34
Speaker
The first one would be the brimstone, white sails, red cannons. You got it. Maybe halfway down. Sure. The other one would be vigilant. That would be almost all the way down. Larger ship, real fancy looking green sails, dark brown hull.
01:52:51
Speaker
And that one's leaving in the morning. Again, sometime tomorrow. yeah I don't have, like, a departure time up on a board anywhere. What do you think this is, an airport? No, it's a boat port.
01:53:03
Speaker
What? What the hell? What is this guy on? Sorry, I'm feeling a little sluggish. haven't had my fish today. Wow. You bring a man a fish, right? Yeah! I wish! God, you gotta teach this guy how to fish.
01:53:20
Speaker
Oh, no thanks. Bonalyn, do you have any information on what ship you might be on? I feel like it's the fancier one. I think it's on the b Brimstone, because I was told my ship was leaving first thing in the morning, right? so Well, that one's been leaving in the afternoon.
01:53:33
Speaker
Yeah. no No! Brimstone is leaving in the morning. Amala did not give you a name of a ship. She just said there is a ship. He said is leaving in the morning. no he said afternoon. He said morning. He said both.
01:53:45
Speaker
He said both? You son of a gun. What the hell kind of bullshit? This guy doesn't know jack about the boats. I think we gotta go talk to the cat. You run this place? Wow.
01:53:58
Speaker
Honestly, last time I spoke to you, you sounded so confident. Well, we were in a state of crisis, sir. The princess had just gone missing. All hands were on deck, so to speak. I'm not saying things have gotten better. they've clearly, clearly gotten worse.
01:54:13
Speaker
Can I ask you a question, Mr. Harbour Man, since you're so knowledgeable? He's not gonna know. Right, yep. What harbour is the shipping place in the Anchor's Chain?
01:54:25
Speaker
Pardon? the The tree thing or whatever. What part? Like what port? do Is that it? Shade Tree Shores? I thought that was one of the nice ones. Port to car would be the main port of call in the Anchor's Chain. It's in town or city in Shade Tree Shores.
01:54:43
Speaker
Shade Tree Shores. It kind of serves as a gathering place where merchants from throughout the Anchor's Chain will bring their wares there, and then it'll get shipped off to different corners of the world.
01:54:56
Speaker
Our world doesn't have corners. Because it's a ball, right? Uh-oh, you're one of them, aren't you? No, no, no, no. Just goofing around. Nothing funny about science, son. Heard that.
01:55:08
Speaker
Heard, sir. So if you if we were going to take a rolled up carpet of a package somewhere, I'm saying this to my friends, not to him, it would probably be shipped to Port Dakar, right?
01:55:20
Speaker
So we probably want to get on whichever boat is going to take us closest to Port Dakar. Yeah? Well, you're obligated. Aren't you supposed to be going on to whichever one? You want to split up?
01:55:31
Speaker
So you're not going to the convention thing? No, I was going to go to the convention, but you've been talking about like getting on a different boat. I was going to delay the boat. I heard plague and I already started concocting a plan. Oh yeah.
01:55:43
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. We can delay that boat. I just don't know which boat we're delaying. That's the problem. Oh, why don't we just go ask Amala or go ask the captains if we want to meet more zany side characters?
01:55:55
Speaker
I guess so. Let's go ask the captains. God, man, this is quite the goose chase we're going. It's like herding cats right now. It's a silly goose chase. I don't know if it's a personal failing on my part or just an effort to not railroad too hard.
01:56:09
Speaker
no, no, no, no. 20 episodes in. Do you remember when you first heard about the Anchor's Chain in episode eight? I thought we were going to go there right away. too. You and me both. But then I introduced a ball and then the ball took four episodes.
01:56:22
Speaker
Plus the prep. Yeah. Okay. We got to delay it. We have to delay it and we have to have this meeting. Holy cow. Which ship are you looking for first? You're just walking down the docks?
01:56:34
Speaker
White sails, red cannons. Part way down.
01:56:38
Speaker
You walk for a while and you see ah ship with a snakewood hull. It's like this dark mottled pattern of wood, crisp white sails, these gleaming red canyons or can cannons. I don't think so.
01:56:54
Speaker
I don't think so. Red cannons glistening in the the morning light. The thing that maybe stands out the most to you though is a familiar looking flag waving from the mast depicting a tri-corner, tri-sail ship, the mark of house humiliation.
01:57:19
Speaker
You see dock hands loading crates onto to the ship, various individuals with naval attire, most of them in somewhat similar uniform, a few of them wearing some cutoff sleeves and kind of standing amongst this fray, this maelstrom of activity, you see a Dworkman.
01:57:42
Speaker
with a tri-corner hat. He's stocky, you know, the typical height of a dwarf, maybe a few inches taller than average, with, yeah, this dark gray skin, and these two tusks that appear to be gold poking out from his bottom lip.
01:57:59
Speaker
Oh, cool. Aye, you landlubbers, we ain't got time all day. You hurry up and get that loaded and we can drink one nice night before the voyage, eh, lads? Watch where you're headed, Charles.
01:58:11
Speaker
You drop that antique vase, there'll be hell to pay. I'm looking. Is it
Jar-Aruth Learning Center and Theories
01:58:15
Speaker
Charles the guard from ah the road all back in those days? It is not. Okay, his nose is not blue. His nose is red, but it might just be a sunburn.
01:58:25
Speaker
Ooh. Hello, sir. Aye, and who might you be? prospective passenger. Pleased to meet you. would just like to clarify, does your vessel leave for the Anchor's Chain in the morning or the afternoon?
01:58:37
Speaker
We'll be departing at 11 bells, or I'll have hell to pay. To the humiliations. Aye, and to the gods themselves. Oh, well, I have sway with only one of those parties.
01:58:49
Speaker
Okay, thanks. Aye, a priestess. Nice to meet your acquaintance, Lady of Gods. Yes, I am a Lady of the Gods. And um the gods are telling me that it's sea custom to not have to pay if you are a priest on a ship, right? no that's not a thing.
01:59:09
Speaker
Okay. Other ship, guys? Let's go check it out. Sounds good. Okay, ah Eleven bells is eleven in the morning? Sounds logical to me.
01:59:19
Speaker
You continue down the docks past... Cranes loading shipments up onto platforms past ships taking off into the into the afternoon.
01:59:33
Speaker
Walk past a ah trio of children chasing a flopping fish as it dances away from them down the docks. You watch a ship a few hundred meters out to sea, suddenly a large fish jumps on top of it and grows arms and starts attacking the crew violently. Uh-huh.
01:59:53
Speaker
oh This is common. Not again. Best not to think about it too much. That's crazy. And you continue on near to the end of the docks where you see this large ship, far larger than brimstone in this beautiful gold script painted along the side. It says vigilant.
02:00:13
Speaker
It has this dark wooden hull with a beautiful mermaid, very classic. It's got seafoam green sails and you watch as a group of uniformed individuals, matching uniforms are carrying on this large chandelier. They're sort of just like carefully maneuvering it it up a ramp onto the deck of the ship.
02:00:37
Speaker
Nearby, you see a, what appears to be a booth. And above it, there is this ball.
02:00:48
Speaker
that appears to depict Zav, but unlike any depiction you've ever seen. And you look inside and there is young...
02:01:00
Speaker
dragonborn individual with green scales and they're wearing a visor and on top of the visor is the same ball and they are talking to this couple these two women and they're talking to them and dragonborn says so you see when you really think about it it's uh quite obvious that zav couldn't be flat it simply must be round I'm probably explaining it wrong. Jaroth could tell you far more if you just come to the Learning Center. And if you sign up, we have many ah bonus sign-up bonuses for the passage.
02:01:33
Speaker
There is a bingo night. And for an extra five gold per day, all you can drink. They look at each other and say...
02:01:45
Speaker
Okay, we're in. And he says, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. And they hand him a large bag of money and he hands them two tickets and they wander off and he spots you, spots you looking.
02:01:57
Speaker
Clay, they seem to like priests. Hello, hello, hello. Hello. Looking cast off the shackles of ignorance, the fashionable bracelets of illumination, intelligence, wisdom.
02:02:15
Speaker
What? Wait, what? Yeah, tell us more. I was hoping you'd ask. he gestures you in draw to come closer. And when you do, he pulls out this map of Zav, this circular map showing this large central ocean with this continent that wraps all the way around the exterior.
02:02:34
Speaker
See this? Bullshit. And he tears it up. See this? He points at his visor. This is the truth. You see, Jar-Arith traveled the world and learned many things.
02:02:46
Speaker
And amongst those things, perhaps the most important, he learned that Zav is actually sphere. What? I know. um When I first heard it, that was my reaction. I said, but in school, they taught me that Zav is flat.
02:03:02
Speaker
And surely some individual who's not a teacher... Couldn't know otherwise? But it turns out Jarrowth is a teacher, the best teacher I've ever had.
02:03:13
Speaker
He taught me everything I needed to know. That Zav is secretly a ball. Okay, well, then how do you explain, like, our... our phoenix?
02:03:24
Speaker
Well, that doesn't contradict anything. You see, rather than the phoenix flying above us, we actually circle it in a continual orbit. So it's only bright on our side.
02:03:36
Speaker
What everyone thinks is it exploding. It's actually us just passing around it and our world turning in something called an orbit. No, that's crazy.
02:03:48
Speaker
we We watch it, Nova, every day. Do you? Or is that just what they taught you to think in school? No, I've seen it with my eyes.
02:03:59
Speaker
Up there. You can see it right now. Jararoth has seen the entirety of Zav as a ball in space. Who is this guy? He points to a framed portrait at the back of the booth. You see a framed picture of what appears to be an elven man with wavy blonde hair with dark roots and what Faunelin would instantly recognize as a spray tan.
02:04:24
Speaker
ah smiling with this big smile that is clearly veneers in a world where dental care is in its infancy. Jar Arruth, the wise teacher. Love the time.
02:04:34
Speaker
Okay, so this is the boat. This is a boat. Yeah, it is a boat. And it is a boat I hope to see you on tomorrow because we're departing for Kobaris and the Jar Arruth Learning Center. Right. and What time is that?
02:04:48
Speaker
We're leaving first thing in the morning and it is going to be a wonderful experience. We have shuffleboard. We have gambling. Nice. By that I mean bingo. Other gambling. Jarrow doesn't mess with.
02:05:00
Speaker
He thinks money should be hoarded, not gambled. You know what? The more I think about this, the more interesting this whole science fiasco thing Just question. Just question. Just a question. many people do you got? He pulls out another map, and it's of this little island. We'll learn about that at the Learning Center. This here's the Jarrah Arworth Learning Center. And over here, we have the meditation chambers.
02:05:17
Speaker
And he looks at Farnelind's raw skin and says, you look like you could use perhaps a hot spring. I could use a hot spring. And you, it points to you, Clay.
02:05:29
Speaker
You look like you'd be wonderful at disc golf. But discs shouldn't fly, i don't think. Exactly. It's a metaphor that teaches us that because they fall, that means that if Zav was flat like one of these discs, it too would fall.
02:05:44
Speaker
And who knows where we'd wind up? You're getting the hang of this. In fact, you might be ready for our level two classes. I think your friend should begin with the beginner stuff. But I think if we get you to sign up, it's only a few extra gold per day. We can get you in with some private sessions with Jaharoth for just a few extra gold, like I said, and you can start to learn some of the more scientific aspects of what he's trying to teach everybody.
02:06:10
Speaker
That sounds amazing, but the only problem, it really does sound amazing. I would love to, like, I can't think of a better use of all of my coin. The only problem is I have this friend who I like to do things with and they're like, they're kind of difficult because they're like rich, rich, you know what I mean? Like I'm rich, but they're like rich and they don't get out of bed before noon ever.
02:06:34
Speaker
So I'm just like, I'd love to get them on the boat, but they won't get on the boat. Oh, not a problem. Say less. For an extra 15 gold, you can board early. So you can actually spend tonight on the boat.
02:06:45
Speaker
And then by the time you wake up, We'll be 20 miles out to sea. That's such a good plan. I love that plan, but the only problem is they have a dinner engagement with the king tonight. Oh my. So I know, well, they're really rich and they would love this. It's just that they weren't they won't be able to get here until like noonish tomorrow.
02:07:03
Speaker
Make a deception or persuasion check. call it one honestly they're just so you know but once they're on a boat inception or persuasion with this oh i rolled a 10 and 16 and don't worry i'm used to my impediment that is gonna be a 20 that's crazy that's crazy no it's a 17 it's a 17 i don't know if we can delay it that long that'd be like five, six hours, maybe for like an extra 250 gold, we could delay things a few hours.
02:07:42
Speaker
Yeah, no problem. They'll pay up as soon as they get here tomorrow. Absolutely no problem. Make it 300, honestly. Tomorrow, you know what? 300 is not enough for the kind of inconvenience they will give you when they show up here tomorrow at one, they'll give you 500 gold pieces.
02:07:59
Speaker
what 500 gold pieces. That is what my friend will give you when they show up here tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. Awesome.
02:08:10
Speaker
Could I just get your names and payment and then we can get you a spot on the ship tomorrow. Sure. Well, I'll pay for the three of us and tomorrow my friend will pay for themselves plus the, was it five, 600 gold pieces we said for the late fee? 600, I believe we said yes.
02:08:28
Speaker
ah Okay, perfect. ill They'll handle the 600 tomorrow and it won't be a problem. Wonderful. Okay, gorgeous. How much is that for the three of us? Well, would you like the early boarding package? No. Would you like the unlimited drinks package?
02:08:41
Speaker
Yes. Wonderful. Would you care for the exclusive VIP experience package with early educational materials? They're not there yet. I'm there. They're not there yet.
02:08:53
Speaker
Of course, of course. I think just between you and me, I think we should sign you up for the level two classes because level one stuff is good, but it's a little basic. I think your friends should sign up for it. But you, I think you're ready for the real scientific stuff.
02:09:04
Speaker
you know what? I think I'm going to take like two, three voyages with you and I don't want to miss a thing. So start me in the one and then I'll work my way up. Very sensible, very sensible. yeah And you are welcome to prolong your stay. Some have stayed for you years at the Learning Center, continuing to gain knowledge and wisdom from the great Jar-Arrith.
02:09:22
Speaker
Jar-Arrith does sound great. What is your name? Kent. Kent? Kent, are you going to be like a recurring character on this voyage? Well, I will be joining you the voyage. I love it. But I don't, I can't guarantee you'll see me. It's a large ship, as you can see.
02:09:36
Speaker
And just for the record, my name is Kentithacon. it's ah It's like a long dragonborn name, but I just go by Kent. Fantastic name. You know, it's really a sunny, bright name for such a sunny, bright person.
02:09:46
Speaker
Thank you. Kentithacon. Kentithacon. Kentithacon. First level class for this one, yes. Okay, so what's the total there? We said unlimited drinks for all of us and then just the regular c class.
02:10:00
Speaker
Yes, I believe you said no to early boarding, yes to drinks, no to the VIP experience. You kind seemed like you were nodding your head, but... My friends aren't ready. Next time. Next time. Of course. Of course.
02:10:11
Speaker
We have many rotations around the Phoenix or whatever. Exactly. Yes, you're starting to get it. Maybe even level three. o We could also sign you up for extra bingo cards.
02:10:23
Speaker
Yep. yeah I do want that. Room service. Yes. Would you like the gourmet Jar Arweth inspired dining experience? What the hell?
02:10:34
Speaker
I'm sensing from my friends that they don't want that and I hate to eat alone. So no, no to the special one. Well, how much is the special one? How, what are we at right now? Yeah, what is the total?
02:10:45
Speaker
For the base fare, there'd be 180 gold pieces, an additional 20 gold pieces for three folks to get the drinks package, an extra 50 gold pieces per person for the exclusive dining experience, and ah yes to extra bingo cards, that'll be an extra 10 gold pieces each.
02:11:02
Speaker
So what's our total? What are we at? I'm no mathematician, but I believe 260 gold pieces. Okay, you know what? Scrap the dining thing, because I'm just remembering that my good friend Clay here has dietary sensitivities and I don't want Well, they'll probably be handling their own thing.
02:11:18
Speaker
So we'll just do the rest and that would be... glu gluten Gluten. Gluten for you. oh Well, it's more like a I just think I shouldn't eat it. There's nothing actually that I can't. It's something can't eat it. Preferences?
02:11:30
Speaker
Clay doesn't eat cheese. Yeah, lactose. Lactose. Like, I can't eat it. feel like I shouldn't, you know? What's your deal with clay, with lactose clay? where where would Where do we land vis-a-vis cheese on sandwich?
02:11:42
Speaker
I don't like it. Good. I was right. I am a good friend. Okay. So I think when we knock off the packages there, we were something like 150 gold pieces for everything we talked about. Sound right?
02:11:53
Speaker
Bingo and drinks included. That would be 210. oh my god Clay, how much money do you have? for I have 100 gold, but I did see a fish come out of the water earlier and it was armed.
02:12:07
Speaker
Is there any compensation if we get attacked by fish? Of course, as long as you sign up for the additional insurance package. For an extra 10 gold pieces per day, your flight or your journey passage is guaranteed. You will be safely returned. And if not, we will provide a very nice funeral service at the Jarrowth Learning Center.
02:12:27
Speaker
oh Of course, that just comes with the basic funeral package. If you want the more advanced funeral package with a eulogy and floral wreath, that would be extra. Cool, so 210 gold pieces all in and without the insurance because we're unkillable.
02:12:42
Speaker
That's ungood to you too? Can we pay when we get here tomorrow? yeah Of course, it would probably be preferable if you paid now to ensure you get a seat on the ship. How many seats you got sold already?
02:12:53
Speaker
Most of them. In sight.
02:12:58
Speaker
Go for it. Fuck, I got an 11. This ship's almost full, man. that's crazy. Oh my god. You seem skeptical, and I understand that, but you also understand that we're not just going to Khabarus, we're also going to Sarposon afterwards.
02:13:15
Speaker
And that's included. Of course, if you desire to stay in the ignorant shadow of ignorance. yeah You understand. I'm sure you've been through this before with people who are a little wary of new teachings and and just trying to absorb all of this new knowledge and... Dullards, we call them.
02:13:31
Speaker
Um... Ow. Not you, sir! No, never you, sir. You, sir, are soon to be enlightened by the blinding light of Jararth. Right. um Yeah, so, um yeah, you can understand my... I wouldn't call it skepticism, or, like, I wouldn't call it an extreme doubt of your character, or...
02:13:52
Speaker
Never, sir. Never, sir. Yeah. Motivations or, you know. Can I tell you something? can the Is it possible? Maybe you just like slap the like the the bonuses onto her package and you just give me the lowest one just to, you know, get my toes into it and save us some money. Oh, that's so smart. Can I tell you something, sir?
02:14:10
Speaker
I and I mean this with no disrespect. I think you would really benefit from our self-confidence teaching package. It's a bonus package that Jar Arbeth offers. In addition to teaching about the wonders of the round world, he also teaches about self-confidence. He's somewhat of a motivational speaker.
02:14:28
Speaker
He's motivated me in many ways. Good plan. I love it. For an extra 15 gold pieces. No. We'll make sure that you never have to capitulate to a man like me again. Because I was thinking, you guys, we don't need three unlimited drinks packages. We just need one unlimited drinks package.
02:14:46
Speaker
You know what i was saying? I think that's not really the worry here. The unlimited drinks is actually kind of cheap. yeah We're doing the drinks. we can We can cut your drink package and we'll say it all comes down to 205.
02:15:01
Speaker
And you don't want the bingo? Fine. 200 flat. hundred flat I want the bingo added back 205. 205. I'm going I'm going to cover 105 that.
02:15:13
Speaker
Who's got the other 100? I have 100. Clay, cough up. who's got the other one hundred what
02:15:23
Speaker
have a hundred
02:15:30
Speaker
What has happened? it We need, we need, listen, we need tickets on a boat. This is the boat. Might as well have drinks. We could take that boat, the other one. We could take the other one. Humiliation. We could take the other one.
02:15:46
Speaker
We take the other boat! We don't need to go in this boat! But this boat is gonna wait till late for us and our rich friends. No, it's gonna cost 600 gold pieces! Do you think they're gonna- No, our friend is going to pay 600 pieces.
02:16:02
Speaker
Sorry, excuse me, sir. Can Tickathon or whatever your name was, can you just step away for just a minute, please? It's a private matter. And it's totally just about money. They're unenlightened. I'll work on them.
02:16:14
Speaker
Of course. And he takes one step back, turns around, and just stares at the portrait of Jarrah. Okay, listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. This is an obviously very exciting opportunity, and we're going to get to the anchor's chain, whether it's on this boat or it's on that boat.
02:16:31
Speaker
My argument is that maybe we get to the Anchor Chain with a little bit of money left. If we go on this boat and we add all the add-ons, we'll be broke and probably a little dumber.
02:16:42
Speaker
I think that we need to be smart right now. And the other boat is already maybe leaving later, you know? And also, do you think they're just going to let us get on after we promised them 600 gold pieces?
02:16:55
Speaker
Well, I'll just say that my rich friend died. Not gonna cut it! That was my plan. We're gonna be on the hook for 600 gold. And you know what? I bet we'll have to pay it off in servitude to this weird circle cult.
02:17:10
Speaker
I always thought orbs were a weird, unnatural thing, and now it's giving me the heavy jeans. We're more sphere cult. Sphere, circle, whatever. Both of them, give me the heavy jeans. He doesn't even understand the difference.
02:17:22
Speaker
Flat. Two-dimensional. Like all things should be. Okay, if you want to take the bad ugly boat with the annoying captain with the bad accent, which without unlimited drinks and no bingo, sure, we can do that because I am magnanimous.
02:17:43
Speaker
Paula, I'm going to say something that, you know, might hurt your feelings. Go for it. Today, or in the last 24 hours, you are prepared to spend all of our money.
02:17:54
Speaker
One, me bringing your brain back, and then you're forcing Clay to spend her saved money. Yeah, I splurged on the carriage ride from the church yesterday. I feel like this is a little too much. Okay, well, okay, okay, well, what okay, okay. You want to do the bad, ugly boat?
02:18:11
Speaker
We can do the bad, ugly boat. And for the record, the only reason we have any money is because I took a lot of drugs and got punched in the rice bag like 15 times. So, yeah, drugs get glimpsed for you, though.
02:18:26
Speaker
If I might. Nope, you're not in this conversation. Sorry. I just had a special discount I wanted to share with you, but okay. oh No, no, no. Yeah, share the special discount. No, no, You can go on this boat. I'm going on the other one.
02:18:38
Speaker
no, no. Just hit the discount, Grimki, and then we'll go. So could cut down the cost of the fare to an even 150 gold pieces if you sign up for a two-week commitment at the Jarrah Thurning Center.
02:18:53
Speaker
What did I just say? What did I just say? That's amazing. say Let's do it because don't to really do it. We can escape, but let's do it. No. Please, I'm begging you.
02:19:04
Speaker
much is the other boat again? 50 for three of us. Oh, that's a way better deal. ah Is that the best likeness of Jaw Arith that you have?
02:19:16
Speaker
This portrait? I mean... mean, it's a little bit poor work, in my opinion. oh It doesn't really show him off that well. For the price of 130 gold, I'll do a better portrait of him for you.
02:19:30
Speaker
you commission me, i have a sample of my work here if you want to see. Holy shit. She's a genius. I mean, I just feel like it gives a bad image for the Round Zav Society to show this poor image of your your founding scholar I'll be honest, it was the most off-putting part of this. It's a little off-putting.
02:19:53
Speaker
Gross, ugly. Make a persuasion check. God, that's good. Can Clay get advantage because we both dogpiled? Okay. I wish we had gotten there sooner because that's genius.
02:20:05
Speaker
I rolled a 14 plus 4. 18. mean... eighteen i mean It would require you to sit with him for probably an extended period of time to... Two weeks?
02:20:16
Speaker
Oh, you think like during the... Well, you should really be taking notes during the lessons. Yeah. But maybe he could carve out some time from his schedule in the evenings. Do you think you could get a portrait done in two weeks?
02:20:27
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. And for an extra 20 gold, I'll throw in like a better model of that Sphere Zav on your visor. Yeah. I tell you what, we'll cut the fair in half to 90 gold for the three of you.
02:20:44
Speaker
No perks. And for you you, can have half price fees for all classes at the learning center for the duration of your stay.
02:20:56
Speaker
Your friends will have to pay regular price, but- Just shake his hand. Okay. Deal. If you want more than one visor, then that's going to be some extra gold.
02:21:08
Speaker
Of course. I understand how the game is played. We have an accord. We have an accord and I'll pay for that. Perfect. You can sign here, here, and here.
02:21:21
Speaker
We are now responsible for any accidental death or radicalization that occurs in our care. and And that should be good. Okay.
Preparations and Expectations
02:21:31
Speaker
Thank God.
02:21:34
Speaker
He hands you three tickets and you notice that like inscribed upon them is sort of just the details of your stay, the two week educational package and and you are released.
02:21:50
Speaker
Don't you guys feel good about that? Don't you feel so good about that? Wait, is the boarding time still 1pm? We'll see you at 1 with your 600 gold!
02:22:01
Speaker
i didn't say our 600 gold, I said friend 600 gold. Yeah, but I brought that up. and They're more fucked.
02:22:11
Speaker
If we sell Prailmi ring that we just got, is that we're 600 gold? Nope, that's gonna be more important. Glimki. As Clay suggests that, you pull out the box and you open it. Mm-hmm.
02:22:25
Speaker
And you see it as empty. What? An illusion! Tick! No! Damn it, Tick. I want to look off into the sun and smile wryly and be like, that son of a bitch.
02:22:37
Speaker
but What if we steal some owlbears and then hijack the ship? No, guys. No, the boats are right here.
02:22:52
Speaker
for is is reaching like from the dock out to touch the it's right here i can almost touch it we're right here at the boat fish man jumps out gives you a high five jumps back into the water that can't be normal why is it normal here So what I was thinking we could do to get on the boat is show up with one of us in disguise pretending to be someone super rich and then to be like, like to have them offend me before or like whoever's doing impersonation and then be like, I'm not getting on this boat and it's your fault and no one else's and then quickly do a costume change and then run back on board and be like, okay, no.
02:23:34
Speaker
Wait, I have of another idea. but Good, something better, please. What if we go confront Tic about the illusion of the ring? be like, you said you would give us the payment that was due. And we ask him to illusion 600 gold for us instead.
02:23:52
Speaker
Oh, you smart, wily, sneaky, wily, beautiful cow. Let's do it. And while we're there... and we steal an owlbear. And then we hijack the boat.
02:24:03
Speaker
Oh yeah, we steal, wink, at Clay, an owlbear. We steal it right onto the prail-me-asses. No, we tame an owlbear. Yes, we tame it, wink. right on By 1pm tomorrow, Glimki will be on that other boat.
02:24:18
Speaker
That's what's gonna happen. As are three heroes. They eat departure times and ways to save themselves 600 gold that they simply don't have.
02:24:29
Speaker
The sun burns bright above them in the Pearl District of Erdenene. The Anchor's Chain calls, but we're putting it on hold for a few more hours. And that's where we'll stop tonight's episode of Bard Soup.
02:24:42
Speaker
One day we're going to get on a boat. One day. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
02:25:00
Speaker
thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of bard soup i have been your dungeon master who had to record this outro four times because my mic wasn't working zach meekle joined by prima jow as clay campbell jordan johnson as glimki tree fellow and shannon meekle as faunal and veidark We've been having a lot of fun making the show lately, and if you've been having fun listening to it, we would love if you would leave us a five-star review on Spotify Apple Podcasts.
02:25:26
Speaker
While you're at it, follow us on Instagram or TikTok at bard underscore soup some really great artwork, memes. And while you're at because you're obviously such a big fan, head on over to bardsoup.com for even more great artwork done by Prima and some more good stuff that we'll add soon.
02:25:43
Speaker
We will be back in two weeks with chapter 21. So the meantime, stay frosty and we'll see then. Bye. When you look into Clay's eyes, it's often like looking into the eyes of a cow.
02:25:59
Speaker
Minus the intelligence. Barring the intelligence. Not minus, not minus, not minus, not minus, not minus. Let me try that one again. Your boy was getting a little too poetic. It is like looking into the... It is like looking at a cow. When you look into... She's a cow person! What do you want from me?
02:26:20
Speaker
yeah Nonverbal. Meem, meem, meem, meem, meem.