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Chapter 19 - The Skull Thief
52 Plays4 months ago
Can't make a bone broth without breaking a few skulls.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Halloween Theme 2 by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Moon by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Ambience: Ice Cavern by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: Underground Lake by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Bach - Suite in C minor, BWV 997 - I. Prelude - Arranged for Cimbalom by GregorQuendel from Pixabay
Music: Bearer of The Black Blade, All Demigods Fear Thee by Solas Composer (https://soundcloud.com/solas_composer)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Combat One by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Ignition by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Dark Angel by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: Escape from Shadow by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: The Gaping Maw by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Witch Mountain by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: Sand Raiders by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Field of Heroes by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Endgame by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Headless Horseman by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Megaepic by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music & Ambience: Dungeon Collapse by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Come Closer by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Sound Effect: Massive Thump by BlenderTimer from Pixabay
Sound Effect: Rock Cinematic by LordSonny from Pixabay
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Enter the Underground Fighting Ring
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see, where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our heroes, they were in dire need of coin so they could buy back the Prailmi key stolen by Jimmy Knobboats.
00:00:18
Speaker
They decided the best way to acquire said coin would be to enter Fonulin in an underground fighting ring beneath the fabric shop, Weave and Flow. Aided by a magical cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs and divine magic, Farnelon was able to easily defeat her first opponent, a lanky man named Tighe, then proceeded to negotiate a win from Crombeck Lung Crusher.
00:00:44
Speaker
In order to win enough to buy back the key, Farnelon needed to win one more round, and she soon discovered her opponent, known as the Bear, was actually the noble Ulrin Rothbard.
00:00:56
Speaker
Clay made a series of bets on the fight and learned that winning alone wouldn't be enough. Farnelon would have to win by knockout and she had to land the first punch, otherwise the bet would be forfeit.
00:01:08
Speaker
Farnelon entered the ring and although she had plans, they were soon dashed as a heavy metal cage lowered down from the ceiling, sealing her and Ulrin inside. The fight began and although Ulrin moved first, she managed to dodge his barrage of punches and quickly countered, landing that crucial first punch in the process.
00:01:30
Speaker
The fight quickly got intense as Ulrin landed several heavy blows on Phonolin, and in return, she lit him on fire. Despite the obstacle the cage presented, Clay and Klimki did their best to help with illusions, healing, and a well-timed flag in a veil that kept Ulrin burning for longer.
00:01:48
Speaker
As the fight continued, Ulrun flew into a rage, and Farnalyn was nearly bested. But as he hoisted her into the air, she managed to kick free and brought the big man down.
Return to Prailmi Manor
00:02:01
Speaker
Triumphant, but exhausted, the party collected their earnings and returned to the sewers, where they gave the eyes of Airdenine one thousand gold pieces and received the stolen key in return.
00:02:13
Speaker
The party returned to Prailmi Manor, where they were greeted by the Aarakocra butler Tick, As he was escorting them through the woods, Tick asked for their help. He explained that Lord Glir Prailmi had lost his mother ten years prior, and in his grief, he turned to a dark presence that offered to bring her back for a price.
00:02:35
Speaker
In the time that followed, the creature bestowed wealth and power to House Prailmi, but took more and more along the way. And according to Tick, the man Glir Prailmi once was was slowly lost with each transaction.
00:02:48
Speaker
becoming someone cooler over the years. Our heroes debated whether or not to get involved, but ultimately decided that removing this evil, one way or another, was the right thing to do.
00:03:00
Speaker
And so they set off for the Pralmi Mausoleum, home to generations of dead Pralmis. And it was here where they spent the night. You already said all that. That's true, but you have to admit, it was pretty damn cool.
00:03:17
Speaker
Yeah, you're right. That's what I thought. Anyway, on with the story.
00:03:39
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our
Character Introduction and Predicaments
00:03:52
Speaker
traveling troop.
00:04:10
Speaker
It's Supertime!
00:04:41
Speaker
What's this? They danced too fast. They listened too well. And now they fell down into a well.
00:04:52
Speaker
It's Prima. Ooh. I'm Prima and I play Clay Campbell. How haunting. He thought him well. He thought him wise.
00:05:05
Speaker
Until a bird plucked out his eyes. It's Jordan. Jordan. Ah, he's muted. What's up? I'm muted so I don't cough. Okay, sorry. My bad.
00:05:21
Speaker
um glu What's my name? Glimki? Something like that. It's crazy. In the mute, I nailed it in one.
00:05:32
Speaker
All right, and now we have to do this. I'm Jordan, and I play Glimki Treefellow. You're welcome. It was messed up from the- from the get-go, because Zack said you died of getting your eyes plucked out, but you're actively dying of influenza right now. It felt too real.
00:05:49
Speaker
Yeah, that is crazy. In life, she was a rhino, Republican in name only. In death, she was trampled by a rhino, the big monster that haunts the jungles.
00:06:01
Speaker
It's Shannon. You said Republican in name only? Does that imply my name is Shannon Republican Meikle? And she plays Fauna Linveidark! Hi, I'm Shannon and i
Mausoleum Rest and Recovery
00:06:14
Speaker
play Fauna Linveidark and I'm significantly left-leaning.
00:06:18
Speaker
And I'm your Crypt Keeper for this evening, Zach Meikle. Hey, who the fuck is that guy? Get out of here, freak! Hey guys, it's me, Zach Meikle. Let's record a gosh damn bard soup.
00:06:30
Speaker
I always just feel so empty inside after our intros. Like, just bad and grimy. I'm gonna be honest, this one left gave me the heebie-jeebies. And not in like a horror way. In a like, what the fuck?
00:06:42
Speaker
It's like, I'm Tanny Valley. if They're getting better!
00:06:51
Speaker
The marble floor of the Prahmi family mausoleum serves as your bed for the night. Despite the discomfort it brings, the cold that seeps into your bones, you manage to find rest.
00:07:07
Speaker
You awaken. Sometime later, you assume it's morning. The sun doesn't penetrate the walls of the mausoleum. Clay, Glimke, you both awaken with Full HP.
00:07:24
Speaker
Your spell slots restored. You feel well rested. Recovered. Phonelin. Oh boy. You feel as if death itself danced upon you through the night.
00:07:39
Speaker
You awaken with four levels of exhaustion. What? Which means you have a disadvantage on ability checks. Your speed is halved.
00:07:51
Speaker
You have disadvantage on attack rolls and saving throws, and your hit point maximum is halved. Whoa, what? That's crazy. As the potent combination of herbalism and divine magic that enhanced your strength, enhanced your reflexes, enabled you to win three fights when you should have lost the first one, as that cocktail exits your body, so does much of your original strength. You feel truly terrible.
00:08:27
Speaker
i yeah Hey, hey. Clay. Yes? I'm going
Debate on Confronting the Creature
00:08:33
Speaker
to die. Today. no Why would you say that? Because I feel like death danced upon me in my sleep, and my everything hurts.
00:08:45
Speaker
So you're like a priest, right? um no, not really, but- Shit. Glimki! Glimki! Glimki! Yes, I- I come over and take a knee.
00:08:58
Speaker
yeah And your- and your hand. yeah You're like a priest of the trees, right? Um, no. What? I need a priest.
00:09:10
Speaker
I think you need a doctor. I'm gonna go to hell. I'm definitely going to hell. i really don't mean this in a mean way, but it looks like you're already dead. I think my organs died in my sleep. I don't know what's left, but it won't last long.
00:09:26
Speaker
Well, I honestly don't think this is a good idea for you to be down here. I need more drugs. Do we have more drugs? I need more drugs. Give me the blackfish. Maybe we should sleep in a little, and then... Yeah, like, maybe just some water. Okay, don't let me die in back of Prelmy's ugly basement, okay?
00:09:46
Speaker
Put me in a rose bush or something. And pose me kind of sexy. um Okay, deal. Sure. Okay. But are you sure you're not like craving anything like vitamins or something? Drugs! Clay!
00:10:01
Speaker
Clay, I want drugs. We used all our drugs yesterday to help you win the fight. We have money, don't we? Okay, the the money's not for drugs. Okay, that's crazy.
00:10:12
Speaker
I'm just gonna go back to sleep. You guys, I don't know. Yeah, put your head down for a second. Yeah, maybe you just need to shake the sleep off. Clay, a word, perhaps, over here? Yeah. Out of earshot?
00:10:25
Speaker
What? We can't take her with us No, she really looks like that. And by, I mean, do we do we just call this off? Do we have time to call this off? No, right?
00:10:36
Speaker
I don't know, but how urgent is going into the crypt to defeat the demon thing? Yeah, um, hold on, pause.
00:10:47
Speaker
For the DM, what was the conversation again just before we came in here? We had made an arrangement with them. Basically, if you don't go deal with this now, he will be obligated to return the key.
00:10:59
Speaker
To the manor lord. Right, yes. And once it is back in his possession, it is unlikely another opportunity will present itself. To kill the thingy.
00:11:10
Speaker
Yeah, to just like to get the key back. Okay, I see. Okay, well, it seems like this might be the only chance for this. But I think that, honestly, having Fondlin with us is essentially putting a death warrant on her head. We can't subject her to that. She already...
00:11:25
Speaker
Put the team on her back a lot to to get into the cage and she did well. But this is ah this is a death sentence. Yeah. I'm audibly moaning from wherever you've left me.
00:11:36
Speaker
Just, oh, the agonies. I mean, I guess at the same time, we're also like not obligated. like What if we give the key back? What are the stakes here? like We could give the key back, and then what? But then he's going to keep sacrificing this weird demon thing.
00:11:53
Speaker
What if we take the key with us and come back some other time? where's the Where's the guy? ah He has not knocked upon the door yet or entered the mausoleum yet.
00:12:04
Speaker
He left you here and then went back to the mansion for the night. So he just like came down, unlocked it, let us in, and then left? Yeah.
Plan to Confront the Creature
00:12:11
Speaker
Gotcha. Gotcha. He took the key, like he unlocked it for us and just put us in here. and then Yeah, I mean, the door itself was not locked, like the entrance into this area.
00:12:19
Speaker
And I would say you still have the key. oh We still have the key to go like deep into the thing. Yeah. who Okay, gotcha. We could just dip. Yeah, we could take the key and come back to another time. We take the I will remind the voice of God will come in here and remind that should key not be returned today...
00:12:42
Speaker
Faunelin's reputation is likely going to take a large hit. Wow. She's making a better reputation as a cage fighter. Do you think we could handle whatever is in there without Faunelin?
00:12:54
Speaker
That's what I'm worried about because I don't know what we're going to see down there. neither. We could just go in and take a look. I guess so. i just worry that, like, i guess if we do go down we and we don't take her, but then if we did take her, that she's, like, definitely going to go down. Mm-hmm. And then that makes it way harder for us to, like, manage because we need to protect her.
00:13:14
Speaker
But if we go down, just the two of us, maybe we can be a little more agile because we could just decide to run together. don't know. i mean, yeah, definitely. I don't know. Maybe we just leave her to rest. It kind of sounds like she needs some greater restoration, to be honest.
00:13:30
Speaker
I don't think sleep is going to cut it. Or maybe it needs more time to work out through her system. who Yeah, I think she did get beat up a lot yesterday and the drugs.
00:13:41
Speaker
Yeah, I think maybe let's let her sleep and we can go take a peek, see what we run into. We can come right back. Yeah. And if we do get into trouble, let's try to stay close to each other.
00:13:52
Speaker
I can use my shield to to protect both of us to some degree. So it's helpful if we can stay close. but Okay, sounds good. Is Tick going to come with us?
00:14:04
Speaker
I don't think so.
Descent into the Crypt
00:14:06
Speaker
Oh, he is. Yeah. This is his plan. And I'll say, as you question that, the door of the mausoleum scrapes open once more, and the Aarakocra butler wearing this fine-pressed servant's uniform, plaid in brown feathers, these dark eyes, these long whiskers like a mustache coming off either side of his beak, he quickly slides in and then shuts the door behind him.
00:14:38
Speaker
I trust you slept well. um Not bad for a marble floor, yeah. oh Oh, yeah yeah. She's experiencing the throes of death currently. This floor is so hard. very well Tacky marble.
00:14:54
Speaker
Cheap. Cut corners on the construction he steps across the floor, his talons click, click, click, clicking across the marble floor as he walks towards you.
00:15:08
Speaker
He bends down, kind of grabs your face in this feathery hand, cocks his head. Your friend suffers from withdrawal. I need drugs! need drugs!
00:15:19
Speaker
I need them. Yeah, that much is clear. isn She'll be no use to us like this. Also, determine that already. Yes, thank you. I'm still the smartest and coolest and best looking, so okay. Of course, of course, of course.
00:15:34
Speaker
Also the most vulnerable and we don't want you to die. Yes, I'm very vulnerable. I wear my heart on my sleeve. My heart wants drugs so bad. chances of success are lowered, but perhaps the plan can still succeed without her.
00:15:50
Speaker
It's gonna have to, I guess. Yeah. Tick, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you bring to the table? You stepped into the realm below once already.
00:16:03
Speaker
I assume you saw the chasm? Yeah. You may not have noticed, but it is an illusion. One of my own creation. Oh, I noticed. I thought I would die when I jumped and failed to make it to the other side, but I guess... As far as deterrence goes, it's all right.
00:16:23
Speaker
Could have been better, evidently. have made some... Modifications. That being said, i am a practitioner of the arcane hearts, an illusionist of some renown, and I believe my arcane expertise will be of value should ah fight arise.
00:16:50
Speaker
i mean, we're going in there looking for a fight, right? Not necessarily. The creature might be bargained with, I don't know what price it would demand, but potentially and arrangement could be reached that would result in its permanent removal. Okay, that's good to know.
00:17:12
Speaker
But perhaps the only way to ensure it stays away would be to finish it permanently. Understood, Tick.
00:17:24
Speaker
I mean, let's leave Fonulin to rest, I suppose, and go deal with this entity. You're leaving me in a crypt, alone to die on a marble floor, with no drugs, no entertainment, and no one to fetch me things.
00:17:41
Speaker
Yeah, exactly that, yeah. Oh my god, okay, good luck, have fun. Oh, can I give you anything? Do I have any special little abilities? Why don't I hold the black leaf, though, for you guys? Because, you know, it's just flammable. I don't think we have Oh, we do. We do. No, we do.
00:17:59
Speaker
We We have to. Please. We do. We must. Somebody has some. think we do. Somebody has some. No, I don't think we do. No, we do. no think you used, like, two portions already.
00:18:11
Speaker
no No, no. There were three. There's a third, Prima. I mean, Claire. Joe doing so hard I broke the fourth wall. No, I don't think so. I kicked Clay in the shit. There's nothing.
00:18:24
Speaker
Yeah, you used a lot You're keeping from me. We didn't use a lot of it. We used all of it. It's all gone. You're keeping it from me! oh my god. I think you have to let the drugs clear from your system and then you'll feel much better.
00:18:36
Speaker
I feel better if I get more drugs in my sister. And then I'll feel amazing again and I'll punch another man called the bear and this time I'll kill him. Okay, well, you know what? and Instead of just sitting around, if you're feeling up for the task, why don't you go look for our doctor friend who gave us black leave in the first place?
00:18:53
Speaker
Oh, I will go buy drugs. Yes, Grimki. No. Yes, I'm going to go out by myself. Hold on, let's split up the gold so you don't spend it all.
00:19:06
Speaker
want to take my money, my my my drug money from me. I'll leave you an allowance. Okay, I think what happened, I got an extra 100 for being brave and tough.
00:19:17
Speaker
Alright, so let's give Clay most of it, I think, to hold on to. Clay? Clay, Clay, my dear friend Clay, if you try to take my money now, ah but I'll kill myself because that would be harder on you than me killing you.
00:19:31
Speaker
And I could actually succeed at that. I don't think you could hurt a fly right now, to be honest. I think you need to sleep this off. No more drugs. Well, fine.
00:19:42
Speaker
Fine. No more drugs. Fine. I won't do any more drugs. Drugs are bad. I'll be honest, that's on me. That one's on me. You enabler. I don't have anything I can give you guys. No buffs or anything.
00:19:55
Speaker
Tick, can you send for a doctor? Someone to watch over Fauniline? um Doctors have medications. She'll be fine. Let's go. I'm afraid it might raise more questions than the good lady would desire as to why she is...
00:20:12
Speaker
suffering the effects of withdrawal in another house's crypt. Okay. Leave me. Go away now. but I'll be fine.
00:20:25
Speaker
Okay. In that case, are you both ready? As ready as I'll ever be. Honestly, no, but let's go. Good luck, you two. we have all our stuff, right? Like, we're kitted up now, right? Yeah, I'll say so.
00:20:37
Speaker
Tick takes a step back from Fondlin, and you watch as his feathered hands start to move in this intricate pattern, and you watch a suit of plate armor appears on his body,
00:20:51
Speaker
and then slowly fades and almost seems to be absorbed into him. If you have the key, we shall depart. Yeah, who's got it?
00:21:04
Speaker
You left it in the sewers on the ground. Shit. That's not my inventory. naw bones. That son of a bitch. We'll Clay, you've got the key. Okay.
00:21:16
Speaker
I don't know how to open the crypt. Put it upon the scale. And he gestures to this statue of Marwool at the far end. Oh, okay. I do that. You place the key on the scale and you watch as the two halves balance out.
00:21:31
Speaker
And this stone statue of this angel with the wings of a moth draped over it slowly slides over, revealing a stone staircase leading down into the darkness.
00:21:45
Speaker
I trust You have your own light source. I myself do not require one. Yeah, I cast light on my mace, I guess, and hold it out like a torch.
00:22:01
Speaker
This little beacon of light emanates from your mace, filling this cold
River of Souls and Confrontation Preparation
00:22:07
Speaker
mausoleum with warm daylight and with one final look at Faunolin.
00:22:17
Speaker
The three of you descend into the area beneath the mausoleum. Glimki, of course, has been here before, but for Klaid, it is their first time.
00:22:30
Speaker
And as you descend down these steps, after a short while, this passageway opens up and you find yourself standing in front of this large... Well, Glimki, the last time you saw it, it was a chasm.
00:22:47
Speaker
What you see now is a river of bubbling, roiling lava. And without hesitating for a second, Tick continues walking, steps right upon it, and suffers no ill effect and carries forward to the other side. Whoa.
00:23:06
Speaker
follow him through the lava. Whoa. Okay. I guess Clay seeing that everyone else can walk on air just trusts that she can also walk on air.
00:23:19
Speaker
You smell the faint smell of brimstone as you do so, convinced you're going to burn, but you walk and find that you walk upon the surface with maybe the smallest impression of heat, but nowhere near enough to cause any harm.
00:23:37
Speaker
And you continue on. Once again, you find yourselves in a familiar, well, Glimke finds himself in a familiar expansive space, this maze of natural stone.
00:23:50
Speaker
Stone walls have been carved and smoothed over who knows how long. You walk down this passageway
Encounter with Labors
00:23:58
Speaker
and after a short while it opens up into a larger room at the center of which is a large ornate pillar.
00:24:05
Speaker
Upon the top, reads a familiar sentence for the persuasion of Clementine Royce. And you see there are three crypts or spots for coffins embedded in this pillar.
00:24:22
Speaker
Tick hurries on without casting a look at the pillar. leading you through ah seemingly endless series of hallways and openings and hallways and openings, each opening with a pillar, each pillar with a unique inscription for the return of the heart of the mountains, for insight into the dealings of Ramus humiliation, for the sinking of the Bumerian, and finally at the end, for the return of Florence Prailme.
00:24:53
Speaker
This pillar Tick does stop at for a second. 20 crypts wrap their way around this pillar. The original sin. And after a second more, he hurries on.
00:25:09
Speaker
Damn. You find yourself in one last passageway. It seemingly ends in a smooth stone wall. He places his hand upon it, and you watch as the stone slowly melts away.
00:25:23
Speaker
What? Revealing a dark... expanse beyond. We're almost there. Once we are in the water, do not step foot out of the boat for any reason.
00:25:37
Speaker
The boat? He steps in, and as he moves out of the way, you see that beyond this opening, there is a small stone platform, and dark water laps at its edges.
00:25:51
Speaker
And pulled up on the shore here is a simple wooden rowboat. That boat. Okay. How big is this place?
00:26:02
Speaker
How much further? We're almost there. Though you may find that concepts such as time and distance start to lose their traditional meaning. This crypt has unbelievable set design.
00:26:16
Speaker
Yeah. Farnelan staring at a cockroach. yeah Their ball budget was so low, but their crypt budget is... Like, they blew the crypt budget.
00:26:28
Speaker
There's a water feature down there. This is crazy. Crosavice don't come cheap, man. There's a pillar with 50 coffins that just says for Crosavice.
00:26:40
Speaker
Tick walks over to the boat and pulls out a pair of oars. If there's any preparations or... Discussions that you wish to hold.
00:26:51
Speaker
Now would be the time to do so. I don't know what will happen once it arrives. Clay, what kind of spells do you know? What can you do?
00:27:03
Speaker
Not much. Some fire spells. Okay. Some healing spells. Okay, I'd say, if it's possible, save the healing for yourself.
00:27:15
Speaker
Okay. Unless I go down. Okay. And i'll I'll do the same. And I want to, like, whisper it as quietly as possible to Clay. And be like, focus on you and me.
00:27:29
Speaker
That's the priority. Glimki is such a noble in the making. Like, not caring about the servants. Like, Glimki is literally and natural at being what Faun-Lim tries to be. that's not it.
00:27:41
Speaker
That's not it. No? Just focus on you and me, that's all I'll say. Okay. This guy's poor, and therefore we should not revive him. no No, nope, nope.
00:27:53
Speaker
Okay, I guess there's no way to avoid ah fight. i don't know what kind of price would come with bargaining. I think something to also consider is that they may offer you something very tempting.
00:28:09
Speaker
Let's say no Okay, don't think bargaining is a good idea because that's like making the same mistake the Preomis are making right now. We can hear it out, but let's be very careful.
00:28:21
Speaker
Okay. And then when in doubt, get behind me. Okay. Or near me. Okay. At least then I can try to protect us with the shield. Yeah, yeah, no, the the shield is a good idea. Yeah.
00:28:35
Speaker
Okay. I'm gonna also give Tick that same saying, is that, like, let's... Unless this guy's got AoE,
00:28:45
Speaker
stay close to me. If that is what you wish, i had thought that I would take to the air, should it be necessary, but... Honestly, that sounds pretty good, too.
00:28:56
Speaker
Don't let me keep you rooted to the ground. If you could be in the air, that's pretty rad. Yeah, that is pretty cool. So, Tick, have you been this far before? Like, have you seen Lord Prelmy actually do, like, his bargains? Like, what happens down here?
00:29:14
Speaker
To my shame, yes. I have accompanied him upon the waters several occasions. And so, so what are we expecting?
00:29:27
Speaker
Like, what can we expect to happen? It will emerge from the water. It speaks in rhymes. It sounds as if death itself occupies its essence.
00:29:43
Speaker
It will tempt you. Be cautious. Okay. If you are ready, we shall depart. Let's do it. doing Okay. I hope Fonelin's not tracking down that doctor right now.
00:29:58
Speaker
Yeah, I hope she's resting. da la da Yeah, Fonelin is staring in the reflection of a shiny grave. She's like polishing this grave with her elbow to make it shiny so she can see her reflection. And she's like, kind of like trying to make herself look neat.
00:30:15
Speaker
And I am going to hobble out of the crypt. Where are you going? I am going to walk my slow, exhausted little self up to the front door of Pearl Me House and like knock, knock, knock.
00:30:30
Speaker
Wait, pardon? so I mean, I'm not there. The DM is recalibrating. I just watched Zach recalibrate in real time because Zach had just spent the last 10 minutes mentally
Battle with Labors
00:30:40
Speaker
running a game and also is' emergency session planning Fuzan appearance.
00:30:46
Speaker
If you truthfully want to know what I was calibrating, it was who answers the door when Tick is away. Tick's brother. It's me, Rick. The door does open and it is a servant, a young man with curly brown hair wearing ah similar uniform to Tix.
00:31:08
Speaker
And he looks ah tad confused and says, might I help you? Lady Prailmi didn't tell you she was expecting people. Like, she's expecting me. She literally gave me a deadline to come see her.
00:31:24
Speaker
Like, she's- I'm Farnal and Veydok. I'm- go- I'm supposed to be here. Apologies, ma'am. I was unaware we were expecting visitors. I shall fetch the Lady Prailmi.
00:31:38
Speaker
Well, actually, I want to see- um i want to see her, but I'd rather see Bickford first. Make a persuasion roll with disadvantage. You're right, because I'm super high on drugs. Yeah, because you're like, fucking can like yeah, I just want to see Big Bird. You think in your head you're coming off so chill and charming.
00:31:59
Speaker
Give me Big Bird now! With a disadvantage, I rolled a 13 and a 19, so that's a that's a that's an 18. Still good. I'm just naturally charming, even when I'm actively in withdrawal.
00:32:11
Speaker
He squints at you. One second, ma'am. And closes the door in your face. And you wait outside for, it feels like a long time. It's probably like five minutes.
00:32:24
Speaker
I'm going to die out here. Before the door opens and you see Bickford, pray on me, wearing this dark emerald green robe.
00:32:38
Speaker
Lady Veydark, how good of you to come? I was not expecting I just thought, like, was just thinking that you and never hang out.
00:32:51
Speaker
And we have so much in common. Like, the places we go, the fights we get into, scrapes, our mutual friends, our intimate connection with Backropale Me, who of course uses me as an errand girl.
00:33:07
Speaker
you know And substances we enjoy. So I was just thinking, like, you and i should just, like, hang out. Are you free right now? I could make time. ah Okay, Zidu, let's hang out.
00:33:22
Speaker
I'm coming in. I'm going to let myself in. He looks at you with a scrutiny that might normally make you uncomfortable, but I think through the fog of headache and body ache, it kind of washes off of you.
00:33:41
Speaker
And he closes the door behind you as you step foot into the manor. bit you Bip. I suppose there's no reason you shouldn't. Well, you could call me a nickname too if you want to.
00:33:53
Speaker
What did you think of the fight last night? You were there, right?
00:33:58
Speaker
What fight? Oh my god, don't be coy. but if you literally saw me kick Ulran's ass. You don't need to be coy about it. I saw you. It's okay.
00:34:09
Speaker
He gives a little smirk. Yes, you are surprised me. Yes, I'm very surprising. Tell me, did you bet on me or against me?
00:34:20
Speaker
Nothing personal, but I'm a loyal friend. So you lost money last night?
00:34:29
Speaker
suppose so. Was it a lot of money? Depends.
00:34:36
Speaker
For me, Oh my, we're so rich. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, let me mentally calibrate how I'm going to... and schmooze this man while also eliciting drugs from him.
00:34:49
Speaker
Look, want to get high together Lady Vedok, I'm not sure what you've heard about me, but i would never. I'm just going to like deadpan, like stare at him, like obviously still a little strung out. Like my pupils are kind of like pointing different directions. I'm going to try my best to stare at him with both eyes.
00:35:10
Speaker
Like look at me and tell me that you have to be ashamed of drug usage to me. Would you like to make an inside roll with disadvantage? Well, I wouldn't like to make it with disadvantage, but I will.
00:35:23
Speaker
Check what color his gums are. They're black. Oh, yeah. Good point. felt like my dice were kind of too cooperative last game. So I'm switching to this random pair that I got for Christmas. That's just like no fuss, like a chess set.
00:35:39
Speaker
Actually really cute. But my first roll on them just netted me a 19. So maybe I'm just lucky. my God. That's my third 19 of the night. That's crazy. That was two 19s
Phonelin's Confrontation with Glir Prailmi
00:35:50
Speaker
in a row. On disadvantage.
00:35:50
Speaker
nineteen on thisadvan yeah on disadvantage i got two nineteen So it's a twenty five pickford's dark eyes stare at you intently And you see, it's probably the withdrawal.
00:36:07
Speaker
But for a second, you see a flash of flame reflected back at you from each pupil. What the hell? A bit early for me, but perhaps breakfast?
00:36:18
Speaker
Yeah, I'm hungry. I'm so, I'm actually the hungriest I've ever been. What's for breakfast? I'll have to see what the chef has prepared. Okay, let's go. And I'm just going to like walk towards where I know the dining room is.
00:36:32
Speaker
We usually reserve that for formal occasions. Why don't you come with me to the breakfast room? That's where friends eat, I bet!
00:36:43
Speaker
Breakfast, then drugs. Breakfast, then drugs. Breakfast, then drugs. I hope Gloomkey's proud of me. I'm being so efficient about what he told me to do. Yeah, I honestly can completely forgot about the whole thing about their family and this guy being literally right upstairs. Yeah.
00:37:00
Speaker
So convenient. Why would I go all the way to the doctor when this guy's right here? I did not think about that. leads you through this formal reception hall that you previously spent much of your last foray here, shall we say.
00:37:15
Speaker
he turns left, you go down the small set of stairs and he turns left, leading you to the far end of the room. He pushes open a door. And you enter what, as ah as a noble, you probably have some sense of some of the conventions, shall we say, of architecture in these circles.
00:37:34
Speaker
And you presume this to be the family wing. The opposite side of the mansion would be the servant's wing, where laundry, kitchens, servant quarters, all that is housed.
00:37:44
Speaker
This wing would be entirely reserved for the family and their endeavors. Aw, pray only, house, when you're here, you're family. Unless you're in the servant wing. Unless you're in the servant wing. You walk through this doorway into this...
00:37:59
Speaker
space. It's this landing of sorts. There's this large carpeted stairway that leads up and you see little piles of crates and there's some furniture that's covered in and sheets. It seems very cluttered.
00:38:13
Speaker
seems like sort of just a lot of stuff has been thrown here of late. And he leads you past the stairs, not up them, just past them through a small door into this small dining room.
00:38:26
Speaker
It's much more modest than the banquet hall. but reeks with wealth all the same. There's a large wooden table with four chairs placed in front of this window that overlooks the western portion of the estate.
00:38:40
Speaker
You see an elk head is mounted above the window, and through this window you see off to one side this structure that appears to be a barn or possibly a stable. In the opposite direction from it, you see a hedge maze with this large, crooked stone tower at the at the center of it.
00:39:00
Speaker
And he pulls out a chair for you, and as you sit, he pushes it in behind you and then sits down opposite you. A few minutes later, servants come and present several dishes. There are spiced quail eggs and little pastries.
00:39:21
Speaker
a carafe of coffee. And as the last of the servants depart, he takes a quail egg and with a small knife and fork delicately cuts into it and takes a bite.
00:39:35
Speaker
Let us eat. Absolutely. And while we eat, why don't we talk about that key? And we will cut to the folks beneath the manor.
00:39:47
Speaker
Uh-oh. The two of you step into this rowboat. You watch Tick mutter off something to himself, and the next time you look at him, he appears to have shifted maybe six inches, maybe a foot over, but otherwise appears unchanged, and he steps into the boat with you, and To Clay, he says, you take the front, you can light the path. Okay.
00:40:19
Speaker
And to Glimki, he says, grab an oar. Copy that. and the two of you start to row. The boat glides through the water with nothing but the minute sound of oars to accompany you.
00:40:33
Speaker
You peer into the gloom and as hard as you look, the walls of the surrounding cavern never come into focus, never really come into view. You look back behind you to the landing, and though it hasn't been long, it has completely disappeared.
00:40:51
Speaker
The light of Clay's mace barely seems to penetrate this darkness, but you continue on. You press forward until Tick puts a hand on your shoulder and says, We're here.
00:41:04
Speaker
As he says so, a ripple pulses through the water. Oh, man. You freeze, and after a second, another ripple sweeps past you.
00:41:16
Speaker
You peer into the water and see two distant motes of light moving rapidly towards you. With the light comes a noise, moaning like that of a hundred tortured voices swirling through the air around you.
00:41:33
Speaker
In the nearby gloom, you see three immense skulls, each belonging to a long dead giant burst into flame, revealing black stone islands that each is positioned upon. The light comes closer and closer, the moaning becomes more intense, until there's a violent spray of water that douses you.
00:41:51
Speaker
As the water settles, you see three things. First, The water around you has been replaced by a swirling vortex of humanoid husks.
00:42:02
Speaker
Oh, huh. Their skin is pulled tight over their gaunt faces, and skeletal hands reach up out of the water, grasping at your boat. Second, an immense skeletal crocodile floats in the water, only a few feet away.
00:42:16
Speaker
It's twenty, maybe thirty feet long, devoid of flesh. Clumps of seaweed hang off its lily-white bones, and as it opens its mouth, it releases a deep, guttural growl.
00:42:32
Speaker
Lastly, you see a hooded figure perched upon the back of this crocodile. It holds an oar and a bony hand, and without looking at you, the creature says, Drowned!
00:42:44
Speaker
Growned!
00:42:48
Speaker
Return to potter again, my lord Brayam. Wait, nay, it is not the lord I deal with. The creature slowly lifts its head.
00:43:01
Speaker
And as it does so, it wedges the oar in the crocodile's ribcage and reaches up with both hands, pulling back its hood. Before you, you see a skeletal visage, but not that of a humanoid.
00:43:16
Speaker
Its skull is wide and squat and ends in a sharp, curved beak. It has the skull of an owlbear and looks at you with familiar flaming eyes. It slowly cocks his head and fixes his eyes on you, Clay.
00:43:34
Speaker
Defiled child. The child of Verley. Come to strike a bargain. Hello.
00:43:46
Speaker
wait it it knew you? Does it know me? What did it say? The child of Verily come to strike a bargain. Does that mean something to you? No, I have no idea.
00:43:57
Speaker
Is that supposed to mean something? What?
00:44:02
Speaker
Rude. Prude. Come to talk, but does not speak. She taught you poorly, I see.
00:44:13
Speaker
how Hello? who Who are you? Known by many names, each to but a few.
Crypt Battle Strategy
00:44:23
Speaker
You may call me Labors, the Skull Thief.
00:44:31
Speaker
the um and So just to clarify, the water is a bunch of writhing bodies. Yes. Sick. Give me a perception roll.
00:44:42
Speaker
Both of us? sure Sure. 16. I got a 14. Glimki, it's hard to tell. The skin is pulled tight. The hair is wet.
00:44:53
Speaker
The face is tortured. But one of these husks drifts past you, reaching for you. And as you lock eyes with it, it bears a certain resemblance to a gardener you met at a party a week ago.
00:45:08
Speaker
Oh my god. I'm gonna shift back towards Kalei a little bit and I'm gonna whisper to you, I think it has to die.
00:45:18
Speaker
um yeah. This place, freaky. I look over at Tik and be like, do you want to talk to this thing or do we get this party started?
00:45:30
Speaker
I would not exhaust diplomacy until it is no longer an option. But I understand your reservation and I will follow your lead.
00:45:42
Speaker
Copy that. Whisper. Glucern. Help me Why have you come servant?
00:45:54
Speaker
Bearing strangers, yet one who smells so familiar.
00:46:04
Speaker
Who? Who smells familiar?
00:46:11
Speaker
does not concern you.
00:46:17
Speaker
I speak to the child of Verily. Clay? Who's Verily? I don't know. i don't know what's going on. Stammer, glamour.
00:46:28
Speaker
a Hidden from her you were, weren't you?
00:46:37
Speaker
Oh, it would drive her mad to let her know I found Who the heck? I don't know what's happening, but what would it take for you to leave and just go away and not come back?
00:46:58
Speaker
Bargain, bargain.
00:47:02
Speaker
Tell me, servants, does the good lord know you're here negotiating my release? Don't answer that.
00:47:15
Speaker
Glimki's gonna put his hand on his sword and begin to pull it and be like, okay, demon, you obviously know we're here to get you out of here. What better way to do that than to find something to to get you into ah the the greater world?
00:47:31
Speaker
You want to be stuck down here? Ground wishes for some shitty noble family?
00:47:39
Speaker
Wishes, fishes caught upon my hook I am content slowly feeding slowly growing a debt acquired a debt paid a prize will be mine in due time a prize But sweeter prize remains suddenly presented upon this day with the child, the child. Yeah, ah you're going to have to help us. So comes with me.
00:48:16
Speaker
This child comes with a child. Absolutely not. We are all children one way or another. Absolutely not.
00:48:29
Speaker
A nonstarter to my barter. Yeah, absolutely not. Sorry, we're gonna have to start somewhere else. through
00:48:40
Speaker
How long have you been down here? Growing and feeding.
00:48:47
Speaker
These last ten years, or maybe more, but a flicker in my immortal life. And how much longer do you think you'll be down here before it's it's time to collect your prize?
00:49:05
Speaker
Time. Difficult to assess.
00:49:13
Speaker
Not long. 10, 20 more and I should be satiated. 20 more years?
00:49:25
Speaker
Years, tears. Yes, boy. i mean, and say we get to 20 years from now. Do you think that the prayer, they're just going to let you out? real question, lad, is will I let them leave?
00:49:41
Speaker
a I guess that's fair. What's stopping you now? My plans are my own. I need not share them with you. That being said, curious little sprout, aren't you?
00:50:02
Speaker
I think you misunderstand my arrangements. I am not captive, I am not prisoner, i am not genie in a bottle. i am a merchant.
00:50:15
Speaker
And I am getting the coin I require.
00:50:26
Speaker
Um, sorry, and Glimki looks back at the other two. i mean, are you guys seeing the difference between the genie and the bottle thing and this guy? Because I don't get it. Yeah. What? These guys... Sorry, correct me when I've misstep.
00:50:41
Speaker
These guys ask you for stuff, and then they give you bodies, and you feed on that, and then you grant them some sort of wish. it Sure, it's maybe not a three wishes kind of situation, but you're trapped in a basement, and you only get to feed when they feed you?
00:51:00
Speaker
Seems kind of like... ah I don't know. Seems kind of sad. What happens when the bargains stop coming? Like what if they just stop making bargains with you?
00:51:12
Speaker
Then I return to Sustilist my home. I am not held here limbo waiting.
Phonelin's Defiance
00:51:21
Speaker
I take care of my business elsewhere in the meanwhile.
00:51:26
Speaker
And I return for another bargain, another deal, another exchange, another gift.
00:51:37
Speaker
Until the contract is filled. A contract? like i I look back at Tix. So is this key actually worth anything? What is the point of this? Can we bury the bodies in the woods? What's with the showmanship?
00:51:48
Speaker
I do not know the nature of the Lord's agreement with this creature. But the staff are brought here and they do not return. Turn, burn, all the same. I've done. How far is this guy from me?
00:52:04
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:52:07
Speaker
10 feet away on top of his crocodile. So close. That's pretty close. As you start to loosen the sword even further, preparing to draw it.
00:52:20
Speaker
Patience. Patience.
00:52:25
Speaker
So hungry for a fight. I will not take the child.
00:52:33
Speaker
If they are not to come. But perhaps another exchange could be made. And that would be what?
00:52:45
Speaker
I seek an item.
00:52:51
Speaker
A painting of a circus.
00:52:59
Speaker
It has eluded me. And I would very much like to acquire it
00:53:08
Speaker
Where would this painting be?
00:53:15
Speaker
falls, or so I've been told. The fuck? I look at Tick. The f- what? Oath falls? Where's that? We could have been giving him paintings, but you were giving him servants?
00:53:28
Speaker
Well, now I'm thinking, is he cursed? Is the contract cursed to this painting? You are a genie in a bottle. Yeah, what? Why this painting? Creature is not required, eh? This in the past has not requested this in the past. It is... This is new.
00:53:42
Speaker
So a painting. You don't know anything about a circus painting? No. Insight. thirteen 13. He's hard to read. He's got these pupil-less eyes, just these black orbs that stare at you.
00:53:54
Speaker
Any sort of telltale sign, like... Sweat or... Pupil dilation is hard to read on... This avian creature.
00:54:06
Speaker
But he seems genuine. He does not hesitate. He does not stutter. He seems, if anything, slightly confused by the direction this conversation has suddenly gone.
00:54:17
Speaker
Do you know where Oath Falls is? It is, if I recall, a small townling, perhaps a day or maybe two at the outset from Conclave.
00:54:30
Speaker
So there's no time for this. It would take several weeks, so it's hard to say, but I don't know how much time you have available to you.
00:54:41
Speaker
I thought this was about the opportunity that arose. You talked a very convincing game that today was the day, Dick. That's why we're standing in a crib full of bodies. He sort of covers his his eyes and pulls his feathers back.
00:54:56
Speaker
I don't know what I'm doing. This is outside of my job description. Tick, this was your idea. Yeah, I know it was my idea. I'm doing the best I can, but... You know? Okay. All I know, Tick, is now I'm standing ten feet away from some kind of demonic entity, and he wants this painting.
00:55:16
Speaker
And I'm now asking you, is this worth the wait, or does this have to be done now? He looks... Past you his dark eyes lock with the burning eyes of Lemuris.
00:55:28
Speaker
I will follow your lead.
00:55:32
Speaker
Lead, bleed, it all ends the same. Servant.
00:55:40
Speaker
Do you come to bargain or do you come to fight, boy? Make up my mind. I say to Tick, if I die, it's on you. And I'm going to hold my blade and I'm going to run the 10 feet. my.
00:55:52
Speaker
And attack of the thing. Amazing. As Glimpki charges toward Lamoris, we are going to cut away- oh Yes, perfect. To the breakfast room. Fonolin sits there with Bickford.
00:56:05
Speaker
Yeah, what do you want to know about the key? Well, I assumed you were- going to deliver it. So I'm a little confused as to why you show up on my doorstep looking like a drowned rat and with no key seemingly in hand.
00:56:23
Speaker
It's just a little confusing. I was wondering if you might fill in some of thee question marks for me. Yeah, my associates are working on it as we speak. I don't know if you know the whole situation.
00:56:37
Speaker
Let me just like start at the beginning. So I'm looking for the missing princess quite ardently because I want that boon back. And basically I went into the sewers, hence the rat sex rumors, and I asked them for information about where the princess had been.
00:56:54
Speaker
And they were like, yeah, here's what we know. and I like paid them or whatever. And then I guess they like followed me into your house or something on the night of the ball. And don't know, Bacra came in hot and was like,
00:57:08
Speaker
it's your fault that the key is missing, get it back. It's really not my fault that the key is missing, but she did have some like blackmail-y type stuff that I didn't really want getting out. And like, I have blackmail-y type stuff about her and you also that she doesn't want getting out.
00:57:24
Speaker
So I was like, okay, I like, I know where the rat live in the sewers. I'll go talk to them. So anyway, that's like a whole ordeal. Like, Backrug gave me four days or something to make that happen, but that's not really how it works. Like,
00:57:38
Speaker
Frankly, these things are out of my control and she's not really in a position to be making demands. I'm not making demands of her, but we're trying to help. So my associates are off like securing the key right now. And I think they're like pretty close to doing it.
00:57:50
Speaker
so anyway, that's where I'm at vis-a-vis the key. From what I understand, it opens up like a crypt in your basement and you have spooky shit down there. That's fun. Let's talk about that.
00:58:02
Speaker
Sure. Why not? You're like mad at me right now and you don't need to be. I don't understand why everyone's so aggro all the time. That's a little ah abbreviation I invented for aggressive.
00:58:13
Speaker
But I don't understand why everyone's so aggro. don't take well to those that would threaten my family. Oh my god You realize Bakra threatened me as well. And you realize that we're actively cooperating with each other.
00:58:24
Speaker
swear to god. And she is being punished accordingly. Oh. With a hot spoon or what? Like what's the treatment here? None of you are concerned, girl. Is Bacra okay? Don't call me girl, freak.
00:58:38
Speaker
Bip, Bickford, Prailmi, slightly hunched over, slightly disheveled looking, wearing this robe, sits up straight. You watch as he is wreathed in flame.
00:58:51
Speaker
His skin burns away. And sitting before you is a man his fifties,
00:59:03
Speaker
Dark black hair, slicked back, pale white skin, a single mole upon his cheek. What plot twist. Single mole, considering who had the one mole. What the fuck?
00:59:16
Speaker
As I was saying, I don't take kindly to those that come into my house and threaten my family. So let's talk, Feydark, because this is the last time you will trouble and darken my doorstep.
00:59:28
Speaker
Okay. So... I'm battling him back around. Did you hear the part where I told you that I had spent several days working really hard to get you your key back?
00:59:40
Speaker
And yet it is not here. Okay, your listening ears are not on. need you to put them on. You will speak to me with the respect my station deserves, or you will not speak again.
00:59:54
Speaker
What respect is that, Mr. Prailmi? The respect of someone who murders their servants, which is gauche, for middling status and wealth, as my friend put it, mediocrity amongst royals?
01:00:08
Speaker
Someone who serves nasty ceviche? Like, what is the respect here? Somebody who... He raises his hand with two fingers, and the breakfast nook is encircled in flame.
01:00:20
Speaker
Oh my gosh. A wall of fire that stretches 10 feet up, wraps around you, threatening to burn you. You feel the need to scooch in, otherwise you are going to burn.
01:00:31
Speaker
Not more fire. i do not refer to the station of nobility. I have done things that you could not comprehend, and I will not be talked down to by a sniveling whelp such as yourself.
01:00:45
Speaker
ah Speaking of talking down, sniveling, well, ah firstly, I'm older than you. Secondly, the kind of status that you're sacrificing servants for. Look, I understand it. You said I couldn't understand. I understand.
01:00:57
Speaker
That status that my people decided was gauche and boring 2000 years ago. OK, so I don't think either of us need to condescend to each other. Why didn't we speak as peers?
01:01:08
Speaker
You know, this little show is very cool. It's very impressive. You could probably burn me to a crisp and then have to explain to everyone who knows I'm here why I've been barbecued in your adorable breakfast k nook. or we can speak like adults.
01:01:23
Speaker
You're what, 50, 60, 65? sixty five That's very grown up. So let's talk like grown ups. The flame slides in possibly an inch.
01:01:35
Speaker
Let's talk then. Don't waste my time. I told you what you wanted to know about the key. Did you have further questions about that? You speak vague terms, Vedok.
01:01:47
Speaker
When, precisely, will it be returned? It's really interesting. This key is so important to you. And i understand. Trust me. If I had a spooky eldritch god in my basement, I would be obsessed with it.
01:02:02
Speaker
I'm like blustering, by the way. Like, Fauniline is like, there's like a bead of sweat rolling down my face. Like, but you know, I'm just, i would I would like the viewer to know that I'm a little nervous because I'm in a circle of fire and with in withdrawal.
01:02:16
Speaker
Anyway, look. Obviously, it's very important to you. And yet you seem to have entrusted getting the key back entirely to me. And I'm so disorganized.
01:02:28
Speaker
Look, my associates are working on it. We've been asked to pay a thousand gold pieces to get like information on where the key is. So that's what I did last night. I don't know if you know,
01:02:39
Speaker
Bip knows because he was at the fighting ring too. Hot spoon for him for that, I bet. I was in a pit fight last night to make a thousand gold pieces because my assets aren't very liquid. I invested in trees.
01:02:52
Speaker
And anyway, basically we got the gold pieces and we went to the rat place and the rats aren't there anymore. But I just, I guess I'm just wondering, like maybe you need a different secretary or something if your plan to get back the all important key is to rely on Me.
01:03:10
Speaker
But like, rest assured, I'm doing my absolute best. You could probably tell that I'm in like rough shape this morning. That's why I'm not out there looking for the key too. Because I would die and then somebody would have to talk to your weird freaky basement creature and bring me back.
01:03:26
Speaker
And I hear that doesn't go amazing. So is that specific enough for you? What's your name, by the way? Pray on me. What's your first name? Claire.
01:03:37
Speaker
Okay, you called me a sniveling whelp earlier, so I'm not going to be calling you Lord Prailme. But Lear is fine. You can call me Faunelin or Lady Veydark. Glear with a G. Okay, Glear. Is that specific enough for you?
01:03:51
Speaker
still don't care for your tone. Could you tell me why it is i should let you leave here in one piece?
01:04:02
Speaker
Hmm? Because I'm half inclined to burn you, scatter the ashes, and tell everyone you snuck over the fence. Everyone knows you're erratic. Everyone knows that you've got unsavory associations. So why not just say you were skulking about and the owlbear's got you. I really see no reason why you should continue to trouble me or my family. You seem to know a great deal and You claim to be shall I say, incompetent, and I say there is nothing more dangerous than an incompetent who knows too much.
01:04:36
Speaker
Gleir, I think you've forgotten who you're speaking to. You're speaking to the first daughter of the most important family in the world. People here seem to forget because they can't see me in my regalia, sat upon my rightful ancestral seat.
01:04:52
Speaker
But I was born more important than you could ever hope to die with the help of any foul god. Okay? You are a long way from home.
01:05:04
Speaker
I think you overestimate your importance so far from your forests. I think you forget that my father grows the trees that build the ships that you trade with.
01:05:15
Speaker
I'm not in shipping. I don't care what you're in. Okay, you're in... pissing me off is what you're in the point is i came here specifically offering friendship also i wanted drugs you can kill me that seems like something a small-minded half noble like yourself would think is a good idea or we can do what i came here to do which is be allies we know things about each other i don't intend to be a bother in fact i'm helping you you want your key
01:05:46
Speaker
I assume you want not to have to explain to the most important people of Ulethor Thayad why i disappeared at your shitty manor.
01:05:58
Speaker
And you want power and status? I don't think you get any of that at all by hurting me. In fact, the flames are getting a little close, and if you singe this wig, I will be tremendously pissed off.
01:06:12
Speaker
So why don't we all just calm down? and then we can get to work on being friends instead of sad little intimidators. Hmm, clear?
01:06:24
Speaker
The fire moves another inch closer. my god. Tell me, who knows that you're here? Who doesn't know that I'm here? That's not an answer to my question.
01:06:36
Speaker
I'm unpredictable, like you said. I'm not like, oh, I'm going out today. Let's see if I do something fun. i was like announcing essentially publicly that I was coming here to get drugs off of Bic.
01:06:48
Speaker
Make a deception roll with this advantage. Oh, lordy. I mean, think about it. It's basically canonical fact at this point that I have sex with rats in the sewers.
01:06:59
Speaker
That's not even true. I'm just so bad at not telling people my business. Oh, okay. Okay. That might be enough. I got an 11 and a 13. So with my bonus, that is, I have a plus seven deception guys. I should be lying constantly. That's an 18.
01:07:18
Speaker
You're right. Far too dangerous to kill you. Might raise too many questions. Of course, your dear father would be oh so worried about you. I'm sorry for even suggesting it. I don't know what I was thinking.
01:07:30
Speaker
Far better just to melt your fucking brain. And I need you to make a intelligent saving throw with disadvantage. Oh my Lord. Why not?
01:07:43
Speaker
oh He's gonna melt my brain. ah my God. Okay. My first roll was a 17. My second roll is a flat 10. I don't think that's gonna do it.
01:07:56
Speaker
I hate this guy. Does anyone else like actually legit not like or enjoy this guy? not I was making, I was dropping some baller lines. was making some good points. Am I lying about like being born more important than he would die? That was a good line.
01:08:10
Speaker
Off the dome, the dome that he's about to melt. How much HP do you have? Remembering that you are HP? Half HP? Oh no, we left Bolling to die.
01:08:21
Speaker
And I think I round down. So I have an, ah my total HP is 21. I assume we run down to 10. Doesn't matter. Bro. He raises his hand once more and a bright white light emanates forth, filling your vision before fading to dark as you lose consciousness.
01:08:42
Speaker
Palo is going to be so upset. No. no And we are going to, ah sorry, yeah you take 18 damage by the way. oh Oh no i good That was a fun little subterfuge about how it wasn't really Bip. I thought that Bip was less cool than I thought he would be. I was like, wow, Bip actually kind of sucks. Oh no, Bip is lame. I thought Bip would be cool. And then it makes sense as his jerk dad.
01:09:08
Speaker
ah I thought he was going through magicker magical girl transformation when he burst into flames he was his own dad.
01:09:18
Speaker
Hello, musical theater nerds! Have you ever wished you could explore more of your favorite musical, talk to the characters, and maybe even change the ending? Welcome to Encores and Ability Scores.
01:09:30
Speaker
Each week, for your listening pleasure, our cast of intrepid thespians mash up a new musical with the sword and sorcery world of Dungeons & Dragons. We believe that the magic of musicals doesn't have to end when the curtain goes down, so we take it to the tabletop. We are a live play D&D podcast with new episodes out on Mondays.
01:09:48
Speaker
You can find us on social media at D&D Musical Pod. That's D-N-D Musical Pod. Or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:10:00
Speaker
So we cut down to the sewers. have a question. Or not the sewers. The mausoleum. The creeps. Yes, you a question. have a question. Will you join me on this journey for a moment?
01:10:15
Speaker
Yes. Is that the question? in the cut No. In the cutaway, previously, when we were rowing the boat, when we were all talking about what moves that we could all do. Sure. Could we say that I actually talked a little bit more with Tick about his skills?
01:10:31
Speaker
What can he do? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. That's like a ticking sound. You go, yeah. Yeah. He said he's an illusionist. I want to know what he can do. If you recall from the other Knight's Affairs...
01:10:45
Speaker
When I caught you down here, perhaps you saw something, something that preyed upon your fears.
01:10:57
Speaker
Your mind is strong. You were able to resist. Had you not, you would have found yourself in a waking nightmare as your brain was slowly picked apart. So that's one thing.
01:11:10
Speaker
and Okay, that's pretty intense. I can also make a horse appear, but that seems slightly less valuable given the circumstance. Maybe a little more pointed. Could you make me?
01:11:22
Speaker
Like, biologically speaking? Could you make a copy of me? Oh, I see. I like this. I like where this is going. And I want this to play out as if it's a flashback to then the plan being revealed and then... 100%.
01:11:38
Speaker
I could, but where would you be? In the boat.
01:11:46
Speaker
Behind me. Hidden where? It's not... ah I'll just lay it out. you The three of us will chat with this demon entity, and then when it comes time to strike, you make it look like I'm going to strike, but in reality, I'm striking from somewhere else.
01:12:00
Speaker
Okay. We'll see how it goes. Let me get a look at you. And he is going to sort of like crane his neck and peer around you, and as he does so, like every so often, he lets out a
01:12:16
Speaker
It's a little deep in his throat, this little clicking noise emanates. I should be able to make a decent enough copy. Okay. And when it's time, I'm going to say, I die, it's on you.
01:12:31
Speaker
Nice. A little dramatic, don't you think? But all right. No, it's also true.
01:12:41
Speaker
Very well. I suppose it's only fair. Da da la da da da. We cut back. If I die, it's on And not me. not
01:12:54
Speaker
And Glimki with sword drawn charges forward. What happens? Yeah, does it... ah yeah Yeah, in the moment that the illusion turns and swings its sword and runs towards the beast, the real Glimki would like to try to, I don't know, jump out of the boat, wherever that is in relation to the demon thing, and see if I can get ah I don't know, like a surprise round in some way. I'm gonna say yes, but...
01:13:22
Speaker
You charge forward. For reasons that will make sense, hopefully in a second, I will not give you a surprise round. Okay. But I will let you roll initiative with advantage.
01:13:34
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's that's okay. Let's roll some initiative. Do I roll two? You roll two. If you choose to take part in the fight, that is a different question, but you have the option to for sure.
01:13:49
Speaker
I rolled another 11. Okay. yeah Okay, I rolled pretty good. Alright. I got a 16 plus 1. So 17. Oh god. Let it be enough.
01:14:01
Speaker
Glimke, or rather the illusion of Glimke, charges forward. As it does.
01:14:13
Speaker
Lemoris grabs the oar from the crocodile and starts to spin it above his head. As he does, you feel this wind pick up and just start to swirl around you, pulling at your cloaks, rocking the boat.
01:14:28
Speaker
His hands are grasping at you, trying to pull themselves into the boat. Howling of these damned souls is mixed with this gale force wind. The illusion reaches him and he takes a step forward and walks right through it.
01:14:47
Speaker
Evidently aware the entire time that he was not speaking with a creature made flesh. That being said, You manage to dash out and before it has a chance to react, you can make an attack. Oh my God. Okay. Please Lord, let me hit.
01:15:09
Speaker
God damn. I don't think that's very high. I got a 15. 15 hits. Oh my God. Okay. For this swing, my weapon's with both hands. So I don't have my shield out.
01:15:20
Speaker
Sure. Because I have a versatile weapon so I can swing it with both hands. Oh snap, I rolled well. I got a 9 on the dice plus 2, 11. Okay. I'm going to use my Divine Smite.
01:15:34
Speaker
So I'm going to... I'm going to do 2d8 extra. Is this an Undead or Fiend? This is a Fiend.
01:15:45
Speaker
Nice, so I get to do an additional 1d8, so 3d8. Huge. Oh yeah, okay, so 11 with the sword, 13 radiant damage, and that's just expending a spell slot.
01:15:57
Speaker
I want to use a bonus action to use Ensnaring Strike when I make contact, so it's going to force the creature to make a strength save.
01:16:08
Speaker
It is ah creature made of bone, lacking much of the elements that one might associate with strength, chiefly muscles.
01:16:19
Speaker
Despite that, I rolled a 19 on the die for an 18 total. yeah Damn. Okay, that's fine. Damn it. Okay, so the the vines I kind of sprout out of the blade, but then just kind of shrivel off of it.
01:16:32
Speaker
Yeah, I would say that there's two sources of fauna, if you will. As your blade strikes, there's this flash of green light, and these vines start to wrap around its feet, of sneaking their way through the rib cage of this crocodile.
01:16:49
Speaker
Meanwhile, you watch as a flower, an azalea, blooms through the eye of this owlbear skull. And that stays. The vines fall apart, wither at the touch of this creature.
01:17:03
Speaker
But it took it took some damage. I think you notice that the strike does not seem to do much to it. Like the physical strike. The sword kind of cuts into its chest.
01:17:17
Speaker
We'll say the skull. You go right for the head. The sword you swing down, it connects with the creature's skull. It takes out a slight chip of bone, but doesn't really damage it. But then the radiant light that bursts forth from your sword seems to have the desired effect and sort of swirls around it and burns away at pieces of it.
01:17:36
Speaker
So it will take a total of 18 damage from all of that. And sorry, Glimki kind of notices this difference? Yep. Okay, okay, good. huge juji Can I shuffle around the creature so I'm between the party now?
01:17:53
Speaker
he Use the rest of my movement. Like blocking blocking his- Essentially, like if they're like five feet away from me and I'm five feet from it. Yeah. We'll say you jump up onto the the top of this crocodile and you stand in the middle.
01:18:09
Speaker
of this creature it uses as a vessel. Perfect. Tick is going to go next. And with a mighty flap of his wings, he jets up into the air about 30 or so feet straight up and opens his mouth.
01:18:28
Speaker
Once again, this large clicking noise emanates out and he says, This is the last time you'll haunt these halls, creature. And he is going to force it to make a wisdom saving throw.
01:18:48
Speaker
ah For a second, the one eye that you can see, the one burning orb, flares up brightly and then it shakes its head. Trix, Tix, I'll drown you all.
01:19:01
Speaker
Uh-oh.
01:19:04
Speaker
oh and he see through illusions. And it Lamoris's turn. Oh no. That's okay. None us are having a particularly good day. No, we're good.
01:19:19
Speaker
mean, Faunelin's dead. Like your confidence? No, I'm not dead. I'm just brain melted. Yikes. It's great. Somehow we're fighting a demon and she's still having a worse day. Lamoris is going to grab at this cloak it's wearing, this hooded cloak, and with this bony hand it's just going to rip it away, revealing a series of other arms.
01:19:45
Speaker
And it is just going to collapse to the ground and then skitter around you. ready you yeah and then stand up. yucky yucky And three of these hands are gonna push towards you.
01:19:57
Speaker
And this huge wind that's been swirling around is going to be directed right towards you. I need you to make a strength saving throw. Me?
01:20:08
Speaker
Yes. Oh, four. Oh no. You are blown off of this crocodile, pushed 15 feet back and land in the water.
01:20:19
Speaker
Oh shit. As you feel dozens of hands so start to claw and grab and try and pull you down. And then the creature is going to take its oar and with six hands, just slam it into the top of the crocodile and disappear.
01:20:36
Speaker
And you see it appear on one of the nearby islands with the burning skulls. And I believe it is Clay's turn. How far is he now?
01:20:47
Speaker
The bad guy? About 50 feet away. And where is Glimki? In the water? Glimki is about 10 feet from you. So is the water like swirling bodies so he's like on top of them? He's not sinking or anything, right? It is water mixed with bodies.
01:21:09
Speaker
They're like swimming around through the water. Glimki is shouting from the bodies, kill it, it kill it with magic. Okay, because I want to, want what's my movement? How much can I move?
01:21:23
Speaker
30 feet. thirty I want to like leap towards where Glimki is if it's in the same direction as Lamoris is. yeah it would Kill the demon. I'm good. Kill the demon. Yeah.
01:21:35
Speaker
I'm okay. So he's on the middle island. The left-hand island. Oh, the left island. Okay, well, either way, I want to get within 30 feet of him, um but like ah preferably around where Glimki is, I guess.
01:21:49
Speaker
And then I want to use my channel Divinity Radiance of the Dawn to dispel any magical darkness, and each hostile creature within 30 feet must make a con saving throw or take 2d10 plus 3 radiant damage.
01:22:06
Speaker
Okay. Do it. First question. Yes. Are you rowing the boat or are you going in the water yourself? Stay in the boat! Can I row the boat and still do an action?
01:22:18
Speaker
Yeah, so the way boats broadly work, and this includes railboats, is they technically take up an initiative spot, and then they have like actions and movement that can take place on them.
01:22:32
Speaker
For the sake of simplicity, I will say, as your movement, any given turn, you can move this boat 15 feet in place of you yourself like going anywhere.
01:22:43
Speaker
So if you want, you can just grab the oars, row 15 feet towards Glimke and try and blast this creature. Yeah, I mean, 15 feet's slightly too short to get me to him, I guess, because I need to be within 30 feet.
01:22:57
Speaker
So I'll use as much as ah as much of the boat's movement as I can. Yeah, it's just shy. Yeah. Does the boat count as by movement? I guess
Boat and Battle Mechanics
01:23:07
Speaker
it brings the boat closer. So I'm still gonna move the boat 15 feet in the direction of going and then I'll swim the other five feet. I also wanted to hit all those bodies that are like around you in the water, I guess.
01:23:22
Speaker
Because it's any hostile creature. So if they're grabbing onto you, It would also- No, no, it's good. Kill the demon. Okay. I mean, I could i know so I know some of these guys.
01:23:33
Speaker
ah Technically, the boat can move 15 feet, and then you would still have your movement. If we're playing rules as written, on the boat's turn, it could go 15 feet. On your turn, your movement would not be restricted. So if you want to dive into the water, you are very welcome to do so. No.
01:23:49
Speaker
Okay. I'll-
01:23:53
Speaker
Just go as far as the boat then. and I can always save my channel divinity for later. Can I... Let me see. What else can I do? I'll cast Guiding Bolt instead at him because that's a range of 120 feet.
01:24:09
Speaker
Okay, cool. I'm going to say, small note, these horrible winds that we're swirling around are still there. It takes five feet of movement off the boat, so you only go 10 feet.
01:24:20
Speaker
Ugh. but you can still Guiding Bolt. And also while we're at it, Tick has to make a strength saving throw or fall into the water. And he rolls an 11 and falls into water. God damn it.
01:24:36
Speaker
No. That's not good. Anyway, Guiding Bolt. Yeah, I'm still within range of him. So a flash of light streaks towards a creature of your choice. Make a rage spell attack.
01:24:50
Speaker
Which for you, I think will be a plus five. It says plus six spell attack. Plus six? Oh, yeah, yeah, because you got the ah the amulet. Right, right, right. Yes. Nice. So I got a 19.
01:25:01
Speaker
Oh, big hit. What's your damage? Oh, let me just think it's not a lot of damage. Guiding Bolt is... Ooh, on a hit, the target takes 4d6 radiant damage.
01:25:15
Speaker
And the next next attack roll made against the target before the end of your next turn has advantage. cool I rolled a six on my first day. Six plus two, plus five. true Plus another six. Oh my gosh, that's good. That's really good.
01:25:33
Speaker
What is that total? That's 19. Wow. Totally. And it's radiant. 19 radiant damage.
01:25:43
Speaker
Hell yeah. Okay. Yeah. It, uh, hell yeah. This beam of light. Feel free to step in if this doesn't sound right to you.
01:25:55
Speaker
I kind of envision it as just this, almost like a fireball. this like Maybe it's like got a little like crackle of lightning to it as this blue scale on your amulet flares up and this beam of light bursts forward from you, catches the creature fully in the chest, and you watch as just arms burn and crack and fall away in a little pile of ash. Ah!
01:26:22
Speaker
Oh child, I'll take you to hell with me. Make her watch what happens next. And it's the crocodile's turn. Oh fuck. Did the crocodile teleport? It didn't teleport with- No, he teleported off the back of it.
01:26:37
Speaker
Okay. It's going to bite the boat. That bitch. 21 will hit the boat
01:26:46
Speaker
rolls really bad on the damage. So it is going to bite into the boat and you watch as several pieces of wood just crack and start to splinter as these bone white teeth dig in.
01:26:59
Speaker
It is then going to hold on. The boat is now restrained, which means it cannot move. And the tail is going to rise up and slam down on top of Tick, who is lying prone in the water.
01:27:15
Speaker
Oh no, Tick. So he's going to attack with advantage.
01:27:21
Speaker
What's the crocodile's name? You don't know.
01:27:26
Speaker
Tick is going to take 15 bludgeoning damage as this tail slams down on top of him. God damn. air is knocked out of his lungs and we go to the top of the order.
01:27:39
Speaker
Lamoris on the island is going to... propel. And you watch as once again he takes this oar. He's like, he's leaning on it.
01:27:51
Speaker
But he takes the oar and he swirls it around in the air and then directs it towards the crocodile. And you see this wind that is swirling and buffeting you and threatening to knock you off the boat coalesces into a ball that just is pulled into the crocodile.
01:28:12
Speaker
Hoooooooh!
01:28:14
Speaker
And it breathes. Oh, did he take over the crocodile body? At the top of Glimki's turn or at the beginning of Glimki's turn, the hands in the water are going to attack you.
01:28:32
Speaker
Does a 14 hit your AC without a shield? No. Okay. Oh, your AC is good. It could be better. In that case, these hands are pulling at you, trying to grab at you, trying to claw you apart, but the armor that you wear holds strong, and they are unable to gain access to you.
01:28:49
Speaker
It is your turn. Can I, like, stand and run on this stuff? You know, we'll say sure, but it'll be the same as swimming. It'll be, like, difficult terrain. Okay, gotcha.
01:29:00
Speaker
What if I let myself sink through them under the water? Can I do that? Gross. How far down are you willing to go? don't know, five feet. Only one way to find out.
01:29:11
Speaker
Oh, shit. Hold on. Quick, quick search. I'm looking at how many minutes I can hold my breath underwater. Yeah, no, it's for Farkin ever. Yeah, it is a long time.
01:29:22
Speaker
So, yeah, one plus the constitution. So I can hold my breath underwater for three minutes. Let's do it. Wow, three minutes is long. Let's do it. Glimki curls into a ball and weighed down by his armor, tries to just wiggle his way through the the arms and drop free into the water below.
01:29:43
Speaker
If there is any. If not, I have an idea. So let's wiggle and try to get some movement down. And then I have another idea if it doesn't work. Sorry, and how how deep are you going?
01:29:54
Speaker
Like one bo one box, one cuboid. Five feet down? Five feet down. You let yourself sink beneath the water, and hands keep grabbing at you. Oh, shit. Oh, well. God.
01:30:06
Speaker
we all gonna die today? It's possible there's a limit. I have three minutes. Yeah, let's keep going. Another five feet? Yep. Still hands. Oh, fuck.
01:30:18
Speaker
Another? Okay, here's here's here's what I'm gonna do this time. Oh god, I don't even think this is gonna work because I don't know if this these are a thing or not. I want to use my channel Divinity to use Turn the Faithless.
01:30:31
Speaker
I'm gonna present my holy symbol and see if I can like part this sea of bodies. Any fiend within 30 feet must make a wisdom save and on a failure they'll be turned for one minute. wisdom save?
01:30:44
Speaker
Yeah. These are technically fiends. Okay. So they will attempt to make a wisdom save. many of them are there? Because they all of them gotta make a save. I am going to roll once for them as a conglomerate. Oh man.
01:31:00
Speaker
They're a hive mind. I rolled a natural one. that's oh That's great. I'm glad you rolled for all of them. That's so crazy. The hands are grasping at you, trying to pull you deeper down into the water.
01:31:13
Speaker
And you led forth this holy symbol. And this green flash of light bursts out from you. And suddenly the hands are gone. And when you open your eyes, you see these bodies are just moving away from you en masse. Yes.
01:31:28
Speaker
Good. Nice. I don't know if I can do anything else. I've probably used all my movement. Because swimming is difficult terrain, and I think you only have 25 feet movement to begin with. So yeah, you are... Okay. yeah mean, you could, I know that was your action, right? That was an action to do so? Yeah.
01:31:43
Speaker
Yeah. Then you are under Decee. Do have any bonus action things? data down Not really. Yeah. No. That is a glimpy turn. All right. i like it. I like it. I like it.
01:31:55
Speaker
Tick. is going to rise up out of the water, just like a duck trying to take off, just starts flapping his wings aggressively and takes off. Clay, your attention is drawn to the sound of him in the water, despite the crocodile that's like inches from you, trying to jaws you into the water.
01:32:14
Speaker
But you look over and you heard the tail come down, you heard him gasp for air. he It looks okay. It was another clone. And he is going to, he really did his big one. I want to say he really did his big one and it didn't work. And I hate to tell you how much less he has left in the tank after that.
01:32:40
Speaker
Uh, that's bad, that's bad, that's bad, that's bad. Would you believe this man's a butler? And as such, a lot of his magic is like, oh, someone forgets, like, you know, they lose their, their, their key at the, you know, whatever, like, you know, hey, like, I can find the key better, that sort of thing.
01:32:55
Speaker
ah Um, okay, he is going to magic missile at a third level. I mean, he can't miss.
01:33:08
Speaker
Range is 120 feet. He is going to shoot all five of these blasts directly at Lemuris. bo bo bo They just hit him simultaneously. And you watch his pieces of rib and bone and skull are chipped away.
01:33:25
Speaker
The beak of the owlbear is shattered and sent flying off.
01:33:33
Speaker
And it collapses. Oh. Wait, but then the crocodile. Yeah. Tick lets out to this like screech of triumph. Like that. There we go. Nailed Upon doing that, and we go to Lamoris's turn.
01:33:49
Speaker
You watch as the skulls on the three islands, the eyes start to burn. They flare up. Great jets of flame come blasting up into the air.
01:34:01
Speaker
And you watch as the bone fragments that were shattered and scattered upon the ground start to swirl and coalesce.
01:34:16
Speaker
We'll have so much fun together. he regains a undisclosed amount of HP. Ah, it's phase two of the boss fight. But that is at the end of his turn.
01:34:31
Speaker
So he loses his turn. it is Clay's turn. Okay. There is a crocodile bit into the boat. Yes.
01:34:42
Speaker
What should I do? god damn So he can just recover even if we kill him. ah Let me see. What can I do to this crocodile?
01:34:53
Speaker
I'm just going to keep using guiding bolt, I think. But this time I'm shooting it at the crocodile. Okay. Give me a spell attack. Okay, and I'm aiming for its... Because it has its jaws on the boat, right? I'm aiming for its face, so it lets go. for it. Oh, that's not good.
01:35:10
Speaker
That's not what I want to hear, Prima. I rolled a six, so six plus six is 12. 12 just misses. Maybe it's the rocking of the boat. Maybe it's the fact that there's so much negative space with this creature, but you quickly fire off another guiding bolt and this crackle of divine energy goes shooting right between two of its ribs and disappears into the darkness.
01:35:36
Speaker
Anything else I can do? Is there a clear spot around where Glimki is now? The spirits or souls or whatever they are have pulled away.
01:35:47
Speaker
Can I leap and join him in the little clear circle that he's made and ditch the boat? Sure. Abandoning a boat is on par for us. yeah brand There's like a clear delineation as these spirits are moving away through the water and you just dive out of the boat.
01:36:06
Speaker
The creature is distracted by tearing it apart and you just dive in. Where do you go? um I want to stay in the little circle that Glimki has made, but am I now closer to Lemora's?
01:36:21
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. You can get up to 15 feet closer. Okay. Yeah, so I want to get closer, and I can't do anything this turn, I guess, but I'm going to hit him next turn.
01:36:34
Speaker
All right. Well, speaking of crocodiles. Oh, great. We will say that Tick is just within range. It's gonna take another chomp on this boat and just like try and tear it down.
01:36:48
Speaker
it'll attack the boat and he'll hit the boat and he will do damage to the boat. Okay.
01:37:00
Speaker
It rips off just like a chunk of the side and a little bit of water starts to leak in. It'll then take its tail and You watch as the tail, it almost like points it at Tick, and then the vertebrae in its spinal column extend, and it shoots out towards your Aarakocra friend.
01:37:25
Speaker
What the hell? Crapidile uses tail whip. The T in TPK stands for
Underwater Combat and Strategy
01:37:30
Speaker
Tick. When- Thanks, dudes. This time, when Tick gasps for air, you know it's real as he is pierced by his tail and it is pulled back and he almost shifts a few inches or a foot.
01:37:48
Speaker
And you see that there's just this bleeding spot in his side. His blood slowly starts to ooze out. At the top of the order, the skull thief slams its oar onto the ground again, just starts boom, boom, boom.
01:38:11
Speaker
And once again, maybe it's the heat from these skulls, the wind starts to swirl in a current around the crocodile.
01:38:20
Speaker
This time, however, Tick barely manages to stay in the air. But you are all in difficult terrain once more. Can't be double difficult terrain though.
01:38:32
Speaker
That's true. But now if you're flying, it'll also be difficult terrain. What is your saving throw, my and friend? For what? For your turn the faithless? Oh, wisdom.
01:38:43
Speaker
Oh, wait a minute. they don't mean They don't repeat the saving throw, do they? Yeah, no, it's just until they take damage. One minute or damage, yeah. Yeah, cool, cool, cool. Okay, never mind. then these spirits just continue to swim away as fast as they can into the darkness.
01:38:57
Speaker
Nice. The sound of the wind is still swirling around you now, once again, making it harder to breathe at times as it catches and pulls at your breath.
01:39:07
Speaker
But these moaning voices are slowly fading away into the distance. And it is Glimki, Treefellow's turn. What's the closest thing I can get my feet up on?
01:39:20
Speaker
there any of those floating rocks me? How far am Well, you are 10 feet underwater. okay So can I see anything? Give me a perception roll. Okay. 16. Through the darkness of this infernal lake, you see a pillar of stone shooting up through the water.
01:39:42
Speaker
It's pale, almost bone white. You can probably get to it this turn. Yes, I'll try that. I'm going to go for it. Okay, you start swimming and yeah, you just start pulling yourself through the water as fast as you can. It's hard with the armor you're wearing.
01:39:57
Speaker
The water's cold, it's pulling at your strength, but your hand reaches out and it touches stone. That's you're saying I can't like pull myself up right now. Or no. a baby You know Let's have a little fun with it.
01:40:11
Speaker
Give me an athletics check. come on now Oh, 18. You muster a little more strength than you thought you had, or possibly you weren't as deep as you thought you were. hard to say.
01:40:25
Speaker
The shadows of the surrounding cavern meld with the water. You look down at one point and you don't see the bottom. You don't know if there is a bottom or if this bottom is anywhere you want to see.
01:40:40
Speaker
but your hand touches stone and you pull yourself up and we'll say with the last of your movement, you manage just pull yourself up onto this little rocky pillar buffeted by wind. A short ways away, you see the island with the partially collapsed remains of Lamoris.
01:40:59
Speaker
It's one burning eye fixes on you.
01:41:08
Speaker
What do you want to do? So can I get my actions or not? Yeah, you can action. What is it to quit my shields? that a free action or? god I'd say so. Okay, let's do it. Let's put that on for a good measure.
01:41:20
Speaker
Get that AC up. Can I throw something at him? I have five javelins.
01:41:27
Speaker
Oh, yes, the five javelins that have been strung to Glimke's back this whole time. that we The entire time. We forgot all about them. Carved from the finest wood and dwells. hey Sure.
01:41:38
Speaker
They've been clanging with the pots and pans hanging off my backpack the whole time. I don't know how anyone has not noticed them. Collapsible Javelin. Yeah, you see me screwing two pieces together. um I'm to say with this wind, the attack roll will be with disadvantage.
01:41:54
Speaker
Son of a bitch. Well, you can go for it. This bitch. And he's standing next to one of those flaming skulls. Yes, sir. I'm going to try to throw at the skull.
01:42:07
Speaker
Okay. I'm going to miss the skull. Okay.
01:42:13
Speaker
No. Yeah, I got a one. oh Anyways, Glipi has four javelins.
01:42:21
Speaker
You take this javelin off your back that you've had with you for many months, send it flying through the air, and the wind just catches it and it swirls up into the air, loses all forward momentum and just sort of comes spinning back down to land in the water. Damn it.
01:42:37
Speaker
yeah Glooky screams over the wind. Clay! The skulls!
01:42:47
Speaker
Sticks won't break my bones, boy.
01:42:52
Speaker
That's, i think, all I can do. And it is Tick's turn. What would you have me do? The skulls! Try to break the skulls. Very well. I hope you're right about this.
01:43:04
Speaker
And he will flap as hard as he can through this wind. it is It is hard for him to propel himself through it, but he manages to get up another 15 or so feet.
01:43:16
Speaker
It will provoke an opportunity attack as he goes, which will hit. know And he is pierced once more and just dragged back down into the water. He comes collapsing down. This torrential spray kicks up.
01:43:34
Speaker
He is going to rise to the surface though and desperately shoots out one of his hands. And you watch as these four feathers just burst forward from his arm and they are going to hit the nearest skull for plus four.
01:43:49
Speaker
Come on. 13. Pretty good. Yeah. How much HP does a skull have? The skull on the island, you watch several pieces of it come heaving away, just crack and slide off.
01:44:04
Speaker
feeling this dark pulsing core. It is severely damaged, but barely intact. Okay. And it is Lemuris's turn. Glymki, you're standing on this stone...
01:44:18
Speaker
platform, a stone amongst the swirling vortex. You blink. And when you open your eyes, a single burning eye is right in front of you.
01:44:30
Speaker
a An ore comes swinging towards you. Does a...
01:44:39
Speaker
16 hit. No, not with the shield. Wow. yeah You managed to get your shield up just in time. There's this or clangs off of it, but that eye fixes itself on you.
01:44:50
Speaker
I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh really? Nat 20. You look death in the eye and you don't blink.
01:45:03
Speaker
fear threatens to grip you and you stand firm. And that is the creature's turn. It stands right in front of you. It's your bitch right where I want you. ah That is it. Clay.
01:45:17
Speaker
Okay. Can I swim towards an island with a skull on it? I will say if you use all your movement, you can get to that closest island, the one on the left.
01:45:29
Speaker
And that's where Glimki and Lemores are too? They are on the rocks south of that. Okay. And is this the same skull that Tick just damaged too? No, that's on the opposite side.
01:45:41
Speaker
Okay. So this is a clean, untouched skull. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna swim, use all my movement to get to it, and then smash it with my mace. Okay. Give me an attack roll.
01:45:52
Speaker
Ooh, 19 plus three. 22. Ooh, that will hit. Yay. Give me some damage. I rolled a whole one plus one, so two. so Come on, man.
01:46:06
Speaker
No. My dice aren't good, okay? I need Shannon to lend me some dice. yeah Seriously, come get my fondling dice. You need them. You take the mace and you lift it up into the air and swing down with everything you've got.
01:46:20
Speaker
And it connects and it it hits. And a burst of fire emanates from the eyes as you strike it. Remind me, are you resistant to fire damage? Yeah.
01:46:30
Speaker
Then you take three fire damage reduced to one. Oh, nice. Lamoris calls out,
01:46:40
Speaker
kill the bird
01:46:43
Speaker
but save the good stuff for And he is going to try and bite Tick.
01:46:55
Speaker
He bites down, jaws clamp down on Tick. And for a moment, as you look through the murky darkness, this wind that's still kicking up sprays of water.
01:47:06
Speaker
For a second, you see the suit of armor appear around Tick and the teeth just clang off. And then once again, it disappears into him. The crocodile is going to dive down into the water, and as it does so, this tail comes slamming down.
01:47:25
Speaker
This time, it connects.
01:47:29
Speaker
Your friend looks bloody as the tail connects. He just disappears once again, and then like, he just comes flying out of the water, blood squirts from his beak, and he comes slamming back down, conscious, but in a terrible state.
01:47:46
Speaker
The crocodile stays submerged. At the top of the order,
Darkness and Momentum Shift
01:47:50
Speaker
once again, the wind stops swirling, and where the crocodile disappeared, you see just this torrent of air go funneling down into the space it left, disappearing.
01:48:02
Speaker
And it's Glimki's turn. really think skulls are the focus, but I... What can I do here? He's right up in my grill. It's I don't want to waste my skills if it means that he just comes back.
01:48:16
Speaker
How far am I from that island? Can I make it? I'd say with a running start, you can probably just make it, same as Clay. There is a... skull thief in front of you. Yeah, I'll take an opportunity tank. Okay. Let's do it. I'm gonna run and jump.
01:48:31
Speaker
Hit me. Do it. Does a 20 hit. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
01:48:42
Speaker
You take 11 fire damage as this ore hits you in the back of the head and you just feel almost like a brand in your neck where the exposed skin is, just a searing pain, like a hot knife trying to cut through butter.
01:48:57
Speaker
And you jump and you tumble and you roll and you land next to clay, pulling yourself to your feet in front of the skull. but Attack the skull. Nice. Give me an attack roll.
01:49:09
Speaker
Do more damage than I did. 21. 21 hits. 7 plus 2, 9. Wow. Normally, you cannot divine smite object. normally you cannot divine smite an object but for something, this owl. I'm not divine smiting.
01:49:26
Speaker
Okay. I want to divine smiting. Just presenting as an option if you want it. Normally not an option, but I'm letting you know. I don't want to burn it. Okay. It's not dire enough yet. You strike this skull and you almost cleave it in two. And as you do, just this burst of fire emanates from this cut down the middle and you take two fire damage.
01:49:47
Speaker
There's no save for that. When you strike it, you take fire damage. ah Question. Answer. I am a shield master. When I hit with a melee attack, I can also shove.
01:49:59
Speaker
Can I shove this statue at all? It is so big and so heavy. Would shoving it do any damage? Clanging against it with a shield.
01:50:10
Speaker
I'll just... Give me an athletics check. yeah Yes. Shield bash. Dirty 20. 18 plus 20.
01:50:23
Speaker
This thing is huge. Giant, even. But you hit it and you follow through by shoving it with everything you've got. And it slides back five feet towards the edge of this island.
01:50:39
Speaker
Shit. Okay. Okay. Good to know. Anything else? Nope. That's all I've got. Yo, Gloom keep moving that thing. Kinda sick. This tiny guy pushing this thing.
01:50:54
Speaker
So sick. Tick is gasping for air in the water, swimming heavy. Every so often he dips down beneath the surface. He is going to take his his hand and just dig into one of the cuts, the cut in his side, this piercing wound in his side.
01:51:13
Speaker
He just sticks his hand in there and screams. And as he pulls it out, three other versions of him appear. How cool. In the water around him. And he is going to pull himself out of the water and land just barely on the edge of the rightmost island.
01:51:33
Speaker
It is... Lamoris has turned. Not the first to try and take one of my skulls.
01:51:46
Speaker
a A ball of darkness. pulses forth from the skull. The spot where you struck it just swells and grows and envelopes both of you.
01:52:02
Speaker
Darkness, you said? Darkness. As the entire island you're on is enveloped in a sphere of magical darkness. You cannot see through it, even with your dark vision, and you lose sight of the creature in the process.
01:52:19
Speaker
Not so fast.
01:52:25
Speaker
Clay, it is your turn. Well, now I can use my channel on divinity, right? Is he still in range? What's that ability called again? ah Radiance of the Dawn.
01:52:36
Speaker
Radiance of the Dawn, okay. I'm going to dispel this darkness and then any hostile creature has to make a con save. Any magical darkness within 30 feet of you is dispelled. Each hostile creature within three of you must make a Yeah, the darkness that just appeared on me. Dude, that's sick. That's actually so sick. All right.
01:52:56
Speaker
Damn. Let's go. Okay. That just happens, right? Yeah, you don't have to see it. It just it just happens. Additionally, each hostile creature within 30 feet of you must make a constitution saving throw. Does the skull count as a hostile? mean, he's great.
01:53:10
Speaker
I was debating this, but I think if I'm willing to give Divine Smite abilities against the skull to Glimki, then I think it's only fair if you're allowed to use Divine Magic in a similar fashion.
01:53:24
Speaker
yes it's Lemurrus and one skull, right? Just the one next to us. this The crocodile is farther away under the water. So what happens is you grab your holy symbol, you hold it up and just a beam of light comes piercing through the sky, almost like what would be the sky from above you, hits your holy symbol and just bursts forward.
01:53:44
Speaker
I want you to roll 2d10 and add three. Let's go. So sick. Did he fail the save? You look at where he was.
01:53:56
Speaker
and see he's no longer there. He is standing ah few feet away from Tick, or held in hand, ready to drive it down into him. God damn it. Okay, well, hopefully killing the skull damages him a little. Okay, 2d10.
01:54:13
Speaker
I rolled a four and a seven. Okay. Plus three, so 14. The holy magic, collides with your amulet and bursts forward, banishing the darkness around you.
01:54:26
Speaker
There's a flare of light, kind squints your eyes amongst all this darkness. It pierces pierces through it all, stunning you momentarily. And when you are able to clear the afternoons from your eyes, the skull is gone.
01:54:41
Speaker
Yes, good. However, Glimki takes three fire damage. That's okay. And you take one. That's okay. Yeah. As this happens, Lemuris screams in pain.
01:54:57
Speaker
Fools rule the day. Rule the day. You came here. Both breakers. Teal breakers. yeah
01:55:08
Speaker
Creep. It's working.
01:55:12
Speaker
oh
01:55:15
Speaker
Shooting out of the water. A gigantic crocodile lands next to you on the island. It uses all of its movement to get there. Fuck.
01:55:26
Speaker
But is now snarling right in front of you. Was it further than 30 feet away during turn? It was at the beginning of its... It was when you when you did that.
01:55:40
Speaker
I hate this crocodile. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. At the top of the order, Lomoris, in a familiar fashion, starts to swirl his oar above his head, looks down at Tick and says, Let's see you get out of this one, little bird.
01:56:02
Speaker
You'll make a fine addition. Let's see you get out bird. make Glimke's turn. Uh, fuck. I don't know. I'm just going to look at clay and just like nod.
01:56:15
Speaker
And then I'm going sprint and try to, can I get that next gap? I want to start running to the next island. Yeah. It's definitely like more than you can, like you can't jump the distance.
01:56:28
Speaker
I want to jump. And even if I'm in the water, I want to like get as far as I possibly can to get to that next island. Okay. You're dashing. Yes. I'm going to dash. Okay.
01:56:38
Speaker
For sure. I will prevent ah provoke rather an opportunity attack. That's okay. Okay. So it is going to attempt to bite you. Okay.
01:56:49
Speaker
Oh, please God. Does a 14 hit? Nope. Hey. These teeth come crashing down next to you, but you're just, just quick enough. And I will say with a dash, you take another leap forward.
01:57:04
Speaker
And you just managed to pull yourself through the water to the next island. Thank God. It'll take maybe like five or so feet to get up to the skull, but you are on the next island. Perfect.
01:57:16
Speaker
Right where I need to be. It is Tick's turn. He is kind of lying on the island, breathing heavy. There's four of him, and he is going to...
01:57:28
Speaker
turn around, look up with just these black void-like eyes and shoot off another four feathers from his opposite hand directly into Lamoris's chest.
01:57:40
Speaker
This guy rules. He should join the gang. i honestly have been thinking about that for the last two turns. Like this guy's actually kind of cool sick. ah If it wouldn't destroy Zack to use his voice all the time, get him in.
01:57:54
Speaker
The first feather hits him in the knee, blowing off half his leg. The next one hits the opposite. He catches himself on the remaining arms, and the next two shoot one through either eye socket, and
01:58:12
Speaker
collapses once more onto the ground.
01:58:16
Speaker
Tick pulls himself up to his feet, the four of him, And he starts taking staggered, labored steps towards the skull. At the end of Lamoris's turn,
01:58:29
Speaker
You watch as several more of these arms, broken bone fragments, stitch themselves back together. It's not regrowing limbs. It is forming new ones. At this point, I'd say the body is destroyed, but just several arms and legs fuse themselves to the skull itself.
01:58:48
Speaker
And upon these bony limbs, it...
01:58:54
Speaker
pulls itself back up to its feet, grabs the oar once more, and turns to face Tick. However, it is Clay's turn. Oh no, Tick.
01:59:05
Speaker
There is a crocodile right next to you. Yeah. Sorry, Tick. Yeah, I think I have to focus on the crocodile in front of me as much as I would like to do something for Tick.
01:59:19
Speaker
I'm going to try guiding Bolt again at the crocodile. What's the range on that thing? Could you hit the other skull? Oh, that's true. It's 120 feet. Can I hit the... You can either skull if you want it from where you are.
01:59:35
Speaker
I'll aim for the one that Lamoris is next to with Tick, the one on the right then. Okay. Give me an attack roll. Yes. 10 plus 6. 16. 16.
01:59:46
Speaker
that just barely hits. The crocodile opens its mouth and you just stick your hand out, shooting this beam right through it. it passes through it, out its rib cage, sails across the space and hits the skull directly.
02:00:01
Speaker
Give me a damage roll. Yes. This might actually pull this off. Imagine how easy it would be if your strongest party member was there and not upstairs. Do you guys think my brain's permanently melted? No.
02:00:17
Speaker
My total is a 13. Oh, snap. Okay. hey That's a nice chunk. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, I might have just killed Chick though.
02:00:29
Speaker
That's okay. ah I'll get him. I'll get him. Okay. Shards of bone go flying every direction, landing around the island in the water. He is just far enough away.
02:00:40
Speaker
Believe you me, if he was next to it, it might have killed him. But he was just, I'll say, as he's like running towards it, he's sent flying backwards into the air, but manages to catch himself on his wings.
02:00:52
Speaker
And he's just kind of hovering five feet off the ground. That's so rad. That's so sick. Yeah. Anything else? Quit making me like this guy so much. Anything else, Clay?
02:01:02
Speaker
I can't move away from the crocodile without getting an opportunity attack, right? It has already taken an opportunity attack against Glimki, so technically you can't. Oh, so I can? Then i'm I'm running. Where are you going?
02:01:14
Speaker
Oh, I guess I can't make it all the way to Yeah, you could like swim halfway. Yeah, I'll swim halfway. Could you get those pillars again in the water? I get to the the rocks in between the island I'm on and the one Glimki's on.
02:01:27
Speaker
You go diving through the air. There's wind. Give me an athletics check. Oh no. You land on the pillar and the wind just punches you in the back and carries you forward into the water. And just splash down, like kind of disoriented, swirling around before you think you see the surface and start pulling yourself towards it.
02:01:49
Speaker
But you are in the water and there is a crocodile after you. That's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
02:01:57
Speaker
It pulls itself into the water after you and is going to make a bite attack.
02:02:03
Speaker
You're okay. Does a 16 hit? My armor class is 16. Yeah. Yeah, then that will hit. Darn it. Oh, can I hellish rebuke it?
02:02:14
Speaker
oh You definitely can. Fuck yeah. Hey, yay. How much does that do? The creature that damaged you is momentarily surrounded by flames. The creature must make a dexterity saving throw.
02:02:28
Speaker
And the save is 13. Come on. It fails its save. Nice. How much does it take? It takes 2d10 fire damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. So do Let's go.
02:02:42
Speaker
Let's go. Let's see. ten 10. Nice. Okay. You take 20 piercing damage. Oh my god. ah And you
02:02:57
Speaker
Oh my god. Guys, I'm up with one hit point. Oh shit. is what we needed. Yeah, I have one hit point. And it is going to dive that's great into the water.
02:03:10
Speaker
With me? Aw, shit. drag you down What's your constitution?
02:03:16
Speaker
You're fine for at least like two minutes. Like at least a minute. Like I think you're good. How does the holding your breath thing work? It's one plus your constitution minutes. Okay.
02:03:28
Speaker
Three minutes. Hey, good look, we're good. hey yeah We could be here for days. Even though I'm dying. Uh-oh. At the top of the order, i will say, Glimke, you see this. Clay cannot because they are under the water.
02:03:45
Speaker
When Clay rebukes this creature, the owlbear skull, which was previously looking at Tick, spins around 180 degrees towards that that rocky outcrop where Clay and the crocodile were.
02:04:00
Speaker
just pivots around. yeah who do That will not do. That will not do. crocodile will regain.
02:04:14
Speaker
It's healing. All of the damage you did to it. Oh, you guys can run. We don't all have to die today. one's dying today. Limke, it is your turn.
02:04:27
Speaker
This is a really sticky sitch, because I should heal myself, but I could also destroy the skull. Ooh... Will destroying the skull automatically kill? That's what I'm trying- Right? Is like, or do I attack and I miss and then I get attacked and then I die.
02:04:48
Speaker
So I'm in a very precarious situation. I think I ha- Ah, shit. don't don't know I don't know. I think I have to- I think I have to try and make the hit.
02:05:01
Speaker
But like, i know- like the damage output is so high that I think I'll get fucked. But, what happens? What happens? No. Oh god.
02:05:13
Speaker
Can I make it one round after and heal and then still make an attack? That could potentially get me. I'm trying to- How much health do you have?
02:05:24
Speaker
I'm like, rough.
02:05:27
Speaker
I'm trying to think about the action economy and how much can buy with more health. I think I have to heal myself. I feel really bad, but I think I have to heal.
Defeat of Lemuris
02:05:38
Speaker
That's all good. Survive longer so you can heal me too.
02:05:42
Speaker
Yeah, I have to leave some in the pool of my Lay-on Hands, just in case. Okay. Yep. Okay. Oh man, that better be enough.
02:05:53
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, I've healed myself. I can't do anything else. I move up to the skull and I just, that's it. I can't. Or hold on. What else can I do on this turn?
02:06:04
Speaker
I don't think anything. ah Yeah, nothing. I can't. I have to just be here and be ready. How much do you give yourself? I used 12 points of healing, so I'm back to 24 HP.
02:06:16
Speaker
sure Yeah, so I left a little bit in the pool, just in case. Oh, it's suddenly not looking good. I know, the tide's turned. It's, yeah, this is crazy. Yeah, one bite attack from this crocodile. I know, that's crazy. It's great that Tick could survive so many hits from this thing. Yeah, holy shit.
02:06:36
Speaker
Tick's a beast. Mm-hmm. Tick turns to face Lamoris, and each of his copies extends a finger and a talon shoots out, one from each of them, and once again, the bones that are supporting it give out, it collapses to the ground, and the eyes go dark, momentarily.
02:06:57
Speaker
Only to reignite, a second later, as this skull is the only thing remaining. And at this point, it just starts screaming. Just a non-stop, odd endless... yeah Oh, God.
02:07:16
Speaker
That does not cease. Clay, you're underwater. You don't know how far. You are gripped in the jaws of this creature.
02:07:27
Speaker
What do you want to do? oh ah What can I do? If you want to try and escape, it would be your action to do so, to try and break the grapple. Or you can do whatever else you see if fit.
02:07:39
Speaker
I guess it's either try to heal myself or damage it, right? Can I attack it from ah from being grappled? You can. You are restrained. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me double check what the wording is.
02:07:52
Speaker
Yeah, you are restrained, which would mean you have disadvantage on any attack rolls. But I don't know it can one one hit kill me if I just heal myself.
02:08:07
Speaker
Am I within range of glimping? Let me see how what I'm trying to do here. 30 feet. That's really small. Okay. It's hard to say. You're not sure how far down it took you.
02:08:20
Speaker
But you can try. See what happens. So basically I want to cast aid, which just gives five like temporary hit points. Each target's hit point maximum and current hit points increase by five for the duration.
02:08:34
Speaker
Better than temporary hit points even? Yeah, so to me and to Glimki if he's in range and Tick if he's in range, but probably not. You to give it a shot? Yeah, so that's what I'm going to do. Okay, you increase your HP by five.
02:08:50
Speaker
Yeah. Tick is out of range. Glimke, you feel slightly stronger, slightly better as the smell of sulfur wafts through the air.
02:09:06
Speaker
The ground you're on temporarily lights up. illuminates and you gain five HP. Holy shit. Anything else, Clay? I feel like a god.
02:09:19
Speaker
That was my action. So I can't move and I can't take another action. So that's it. Amongst the screaming emanating from the skull of Lemuris, you hear its voice speak out once more.
02:09:34
Speaker
Take her. Perhaps we can bargain with the mother. Preserve our chances for another day. And the crocodile is going to swim 100 feet straight down.
02:09:46
Speaker
100 feet? Clay. The darkness, you can see in scales of gray. You can see before you could see the surface. This is slightly lighter region.
02:09:58
Speaker
It disappears from view. No, no, no, no, no. What? And as you turn your attention from up above, you look down below. And where you expect more inky blackness, more dark water, you see the distant light of fire.
02:10:14
Speaker
Nope. We will go to the top of the order. Lamoris is just screaming an endless tirade. Fools, cool, fools. have to kill you all. I'll kill you all. I'll kill you all. Faster, faster, faster.
02:10:28
Speaker
The crocodile begins to pick up speed. and the fire below starts to burn brighter. You think there might be a limit to this lake, and you are fast approaching it.
02:10:39
Speaker
it Going to hell, guys. Glimke, it is your turn. Following in the footsteps of Great King Leonidas, Gugli shakes his shield free of his wrist and grabs the sword with both hands.
02:10:55
Speaker
And I'm gonna try break this skull. Go for it. Oh my god, that is not high. That's so not high. It's only nine. No. Shit.
02:11:07
Speaker
A nine is not enough. Yeah, I didn't think so. You're healed, but you're still starting to get tired. and you just, you raise the sword up and you swing it down and just glances off the side, the curved side of the skull.
02:11:20
Speaker
Anything else you want to do? I don't think I can. Okay. Tick goes next. He has used his fourth level spell slot, his third level spell slots, his second level spell slots.
02:11:35
Speaker
He once again raises a hand and he's swaying on his feet.
Escape and Collapse
02:11:40
Speaker
And he's going to shoot one magic missile, one of these feathers, into Lemuris who's standing next to him, cracking the skull in two.
02:11:51
Speaker
and then he will shoot two other feathers across the gap between the islands, dealing eight damage to the skull. Come on.
02:12:02
Speaker
Lemoris once again reforms. Honestly, no, honestly, he doesn't. The skull cracks in two and you see rising out of it is a single glowing ember, the size of a small rock, just burning bright amongst all this darkness.
02:12:20
Speaker
Clay, it is your turn. oh Glub, glub. I don't know what I can do. I'm still stuck. Glub, glub. Just 100 feet underwater.
02:12:32
Speaker
I'm going to try to escape the grapple. Okay. Give me a athletics or acrobatics check. Okay. Both are not good.
02:12:45
Speaker
Okay, but I rolled a 19. Let's go. Okay, come on. Come on. You manage to pry the jaws open and pull yourself out just barely.
02:12:59
Speaker
You don't know where the surface is, but based off the fire burning below you, you can make a pretty good guess. I swim away from the fire. You start swimming upwards. You get about 15 feet.
02:13:14
Speaker
And the crocodile is going to give chase. i
02:13:19
Speaker
Does a 17 hit. Fuck. fire No. You take 19 piercing damage. Well. Okay. Well, I'm down.
02:13:30
Speaker
It's okay. Why is Zach trying to kill us all today? Do you not like the party? If you don't like the party, talk to us like an adult. It's okay. It's okay.
02:13:41
Speaker
Is it your head? It's okay. My brain got melted. Your eyes dim, and the last thing you see before you lose consciousness is the fire getting closer and closer.
02:13:55
Speaker
The water starts to heat. It almost feels like you're being boiled, and then everything goes dark. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Nice. At this point, Lamoris has lost access to his vessel. It is too far below the surface.
02:14:13
Speaker
And so we go straight to Gloomkey's turn. Wait, Lamoris the crocodile? I'm confused. Lamoris the skull thief. The crocodile is his vessel. And his lair actions are dependent on that. I see, I see, I see, I see. Gloomkey is screaming with tears in his eyes.
02:14:33
Speaker
Trying to chip away at this fucking skull. And he's gonna swing again, but there's nothing else he he can do. Oh, thank god. 16 plus 4, 20. Give me damage.
02:14:47
Speaker
1d10. Ooh, 8 plus 2, 10. Nice. nights Divine Smite? Up to you. It's time. Divine Smite. Tell me how it happens as you destroy this skull.
02:15:01
Speaker
screaming with the tears in his eyes. You see the green flash in the the tears that are like welled up in his eyes before you see the sword come down, smashing through the top of the skull. It explodes in this like cascade of green and energy that kind of illuminates the cave around us, sending scary stark shadows across the inside of the the walls.
02:15:23
Speaker
And then after the the energy comes to a quiet, you can still hear Glimki just screaming. after all of it has come to a like a silent end it's weird the entire time you've been in this space you couldn't see the ends of it you couldn't see the edges you couldn't see the walls but when this happens when you strike the skull it shatters into a million pieces and the light reflects off the wall and as you shake your head you look around
02:15:57
Speaker
The screaming of Lemuris fades away. And you see you're in a little underground grotto, maybe 20 feet across. Pleasant blue water lapsed at a nearby stone platform.
02:16:13
Speaker
You look over and you see there's multiple ticks doubled over on a nearby island, gasping for breath. And everything is quiet.
02:16:25
Speaker
like a cork rising out of the water. The body of Clay Campbell, unconscious and bleeding, dark red blood discolours this clear water around her.
02:16:39
Speaker
But their body is returned. The room starts to rumble. A stalactite previously unseen comes crashing down next to you.
02:16:50
Speaker
And then another. And then another. We have to go! Tick swings up into the air and swirls down towards Clay, grabbing them by the arms, dragging them up into the air, flying with everything he's got.
02:17:07
Speaker
What do you do? He wipes the tears from his face and grabs his shield, and I gotta start, I guess, going for the exit. You jump into the water, and you find it's not deep at all.
02:17:19
Speaker
It comes up barely past your knee. You run. wading through it as quick as you can, get to the opposite end, get to the exit. Tick is he's with you.
02:17:32
Speaker
Can you do anything for her? I can try and I'll use the rest of my pool. It's only three hit points, but. Play. Yay. You awaken with three HP, bleeding heavily from your side where a crocodile pierced you.
02:17:48
Speaker
A half dozen puncture marks. but you wake up on a rocky platform in a peaceful little grotto as a chunk of rock comes crashing down inches from your head.
02:18:00
Speaker
Whoa. It's time to go. Yeah, I get up. You get up and start to run, tick flying in front of you, two of you following as fast as you can. You run past the return of Florence Praeli, past the sinking of the Bimarium,
02:18:17
Speaker
past insight into the dealings of Rameis Humiliation, past the heart of the mountains, past the persuasion of Clementine Royce. Pillars collapse, bodies come tumbling out, desiccated little husks where there should be a head, there is just an empty sack, and you run, and you run.
02:18:35
Speaker
The walls are closing in around you. You reach the stairs. The earth is shaking. It is threatening to suck you in, pull you into the abyss, pull you into whatever that place was that Clay saw. You run past a lake of lava.
02:18:48
Speaker
You run up set of stairs. You run through a mausoleum. The ground is shaking, threatening to throw you to the ground, threatening to pull you in. You break through into clear, sweet air, a beautiful summer's day.
02:19:03
Speaker
And you see Fonelin.
02:19:06
Speaker
Walking around the estate, staring at a tree. Oh my god. That's... She turns to face you, and no look of recognition crosses her face.
02:19:21
Speaker
The ground is collapsing, and you realize the entire mansion is being pulled into a sinkhole. oh Fonglin seems oblivious to this fact, standing there, staring at you, unflinching, unreacting.
02:19:35
Speaker
Just grab her and go. Yeah, the Lady Fonglin, we have to go. we have to go now. What did you do to my girl? should Brain wiped. Oh no. You hear those words and you don't know what they mean.
02:19:50
Speaker
oh i don't mean what the name Lady Faunolin means. I mean, you hear noises and you don't know what they are.
02:20:03
Speaker
A son of a bitch tower of babel me. Guys, guys, I don't care if it's not strategic. If I ever get my brain back, I'm going to make him a eunuch. the king can use him or not. I don't know if the king needs a eunuch, but he will be singing castrato in the king's choir.
02:20:21
Speaker
Faunlin opens her mouth and a little string of drool comes pouring out. What the hell? ah Zap? Zap? It's no longer about Gilear.
02:20:33
Speaker
I'm going to make you a castrato. I hope you like singing the high parts. My friend, you're done in this town. You grab her and pull her further away from the house.
02:20:46
Speaker
And you watch as this beautiful mansion, this crystal glass dome upon its top is pulled into the ground. hope they all die. that Every single one of them.
02:20:57
Speaker
You look around and you see clusters of servants looking around confusedly.
Aftermath and Reflection
02:21:04
Speaker
You see
02:21:07
Speaker
holding each other. You see Prailmi on his knees with his head in his hands. You see a woman that doesn't bear the familiar marks of the Prailmis standing nearby, looking around confusedly.
02:21:24
Speaker
The tower with the hedge maze. Clay, you see an old woman with beautiful dark brown eyes staring out at you as the tower is pulled into the ground.
02:21:37
Speaker
And then everything goes silent. Are we in within earshot of the Prailmi family who's watching this? Yeah. Glunki wants to look at them and say, and that's for the rise of House Vedark, and we're going to run away.
02:22:04
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Bard Soup. Pretty spooky one. Pretty fun. You gotta admit. You don't gotta do anything, but it'd be nice if you admit it. Especially on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
02:22:17
Speaker
Maybe with a five-star review. Just a thought.
02:22:40
Speaker
There's some really great character art, some other fun stuff. Come on. Either way, we will see you in two weeks with chapter 20. Wow, wow, wow. See you then.
02:22:51
Speaker
Bye-bye.
02:22:54
Speaker
Where are you going? my Yeah, I'm going to, ooh, I'm going to, ooh, I'm going to, I'm going to start the sentence over is what I'm going to do. Good lord.
02:23:05
Speaker
I'm going to, ah, ah that how a dance gets started infinus and firm I am. She's still high. I'm so high.