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Chapter 23 - All Heads on Deck
28 Plays1 month ago
When making your soup, be sure to prepare enough for whatever unexpected guests might be lurking in the shadows.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Welcome Aboard by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music & Ambience: Open Water by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Untold Stories by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Cockroaches by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Mourning Melodies by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music & Ambience: Sea of Moving Ice by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Halloween Textures by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music & Ambience: Vikings by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Witch Mountain by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Party Pirates by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Headless Horseman by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music & Ambience: Lord of Bones by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: Escape from Shadow by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: The Gaping Maw by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: High Seas Pursuit by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music & Ambience: Whirlpool by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Music: Evig Fred (Eternal Peace) by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Music: Horizon Flare by Alexander Nakarada (https://www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
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Monster sounds by Raleigh-Ross Ferguson from Pixabay
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Recap and New Quest
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see. Where were we? Ah, yes. That's right. After their many adventures in and around Airdeneen, our hero's search for the missing princess pointed them towards the Anchor's Chain, a series of twelve islands off the coast of the Borskola Peninsula.
Voyage to Khabaris
00:00:19
Speaker
They boarded the Vigilant, a luxury ship which had been commissioned by the Round Zavars, an organization dedicated to proving Zav is round, not flat, and set off on a five-day journey to Khabaris, home of the Jar Arith Learning Center, the headquarters of the Round Zavars, and their founder, Jar Arith.
00:00:41
Speaker
As their ship set off from Airdeneen, Farnlin spotted a locust perched on the mast of the ship, and their hopes of a peaceful vacation were quickly dashed.
Identifying the Threat
00:00:51
Speaker
Out of concern that their recent attacker, Thayun Zahir, was aboard the ship, they devised a plan to flush him out.
00:00:59
Speaker
A raucous party in the ship's bar. As they prepared for the party, Glimke learned more about the ship's captain, Surallo Depth-Spain, an older dwarven woman with a tragic story to tell, and Clary and Fondlin met some of the other ship's passengers, which included an energetic half-orc named Ruckus Perez, old acquaintances, Earl Asval of Crastics and his stylist, Cilantro, as well as a certain, ahem, renowned musician, who they hired to perform at the party.
Party and Suspect Elimination
00:01:30
Speaker
After several hours of preparation, the party began and Clay made their debut as the Lord of Party. A noble or possibly lesser deity of parties.
00:01:43
Speaker
Either way, it was a rousing success. One by one, they were able to cross names off the ship's manifest and alleviate their fears that Thayun Zahir was aboard. But they still needed to double check two more names.
Mysteries and Alarms
00:01:56
Speaker
Ramil Gust, who they soon learned was an erratic baker destined for God's basket, and Savito Wale, an older Minotaur man who was on his way to Sarbhosin with a particular item in his possession.
00:02:11
Speaker
A disconcerting glass cube with a dark metallic core. The night ended as a beautiful starlit water spout doused the party in some sort of magical water, and they spent the next few days quietly enjoying their time aboard the Vigilant.
00:02:27
Speaker
However, all chill things must come to an end, and as their fourth night aboard the ship came to a halt, frantic first mate, Jengim Fruk, loudly announced that a man was in the water.
00:02:40
Speaker
First off, are we really doing another self-insert? Uh, yes. Yes, we are, Club. or second off. You already said all that.
00:02:53
Speaker
Sure I did, Club. Sure I did. with the story.
00:03:13
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:27
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:03:44
Speaker
It's souping time.
00:03:49
Speaker
There once was a pod that we made up and it was good and it was nice. We made our pod and we listened to it. Oh, Bard Soup.
00:04:01
Speaker
Bard Soup is our pod. We like it it a lot. Our pod is really league great. Listen to our podcast. Our first guest on our podcast, you see, is one that we call Prima. t Prima, who are you and who do you play?
00:04:17
Speaker
There's no backing out now. Hi, my name is Prima and I play Clay Campbell, the cleric. That's it.
00:04:28
Speaker
Heave ho, and that's our show. We like to make it, you know. Bard soup
Character Introductions
00:04:34
Speaker
this is our pod. We will do it more. yeah That's a threat. Next on our crew is good old Jordan.
00:04:41
Speaker
He's so fun. He's never bored. and Jordan, please ah take over this bit because I don't have much more. Hi, my name is Jordan. Thanks.
00:04:52
Speaker
And I play Glimke. Tree fellow man's. That's all I have to say. Heave ho. Now we pass it off. That's not how this bit goes. No, I say when we go to Shannon and now we do.
00:05:09
Speaker
hey my name is Shannon. I came here without much planning. I am here to play the game and I play. Why did I shoot such a low start? funnel in very dark heave ho and that's our show we're bard soup oh don't you know i'm your dm zach whoa i'm going to be replaced welcome back to bard soup i had all the intention of a guy who was going to write the intro but none of the time and ah that's what you get we're back baby what you talking about that sounded so good so scripted
00:05:46
Speaker
My whole body is hot. I've never seen you so tense. I know. look so bizarre. I was terrified. i actually also feel really warm all sudden. very well. Never do anything like that again.
00:05:59
Speaker
I won't, but not for the reason you're saying.
Antoine's Tale and Glimke's Powers
00:06:05
Speaker
We join our Heroes 3 aboard the Vigilant. It is your fourth night of travel. The sun has sploded for the night. It is dark out and first mate Jenjim Fruk has just run into the room and loudly announced to the captain that a man is in the water.
00:06:25
Speaker
Captain Zoralo Depthsbane quickly jumps to her feet and says, Well, what are you telling me for, fruck? Bring the ship round, get close to him, and pull him aboard. Yes, Captain!
00:06:37
Speaker
Right away, sir! All right, we're on our way to get that guy! And he runs out the room. And I'll say the captain quickly follows him. Um, I don't know about you two, but I have a fundamental nosiness that's kind of integral to my character. So I'm gonna go...
00:06:55
Speaker
Gawk. Yeah, oh my gosh. Is that a ah body they found or was the guy still alive? Let's go check. I didn't even think that it could be a body. Yeah, let's go look. Yeah, I'm right behind you.
00:07:07
Speaker
just I'm confused at you describing that this is some sort of fundamental character trait that you would be interested in seeing a floating body that we're going to rescue out of the sea that feels like it would be inherently true for everyone aboard. Yeah.
00:07:19
Speaker
No, you didn't. No, no, no, no. No, you didn't. I'm special. and Honestly, look around the room. We're the only three people left in here.
00:07:30
Speaker
Yeah, we're not going to get a good view. I'm looking because of who I am. They're looking because of circumstance, you know? Anyway, let's go. and I point out. Actually, that does kind of make sense.
00:07:43
Speaker
I do that sometimes. Scarcely. But I do... The three of you hurry up onto the deck of the Vigilant. It is dark out. It is a little cloudy.
00:07:55
Speaker
There are some bigger waves kicking up. It's windy. It's not stormy, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be a comfortable night aboard the ship. And about the moment you run outside, you watch as two members of the crew haul this guy up and...
00:08:15
Speaker
plunk him down on the deck of the ship. And you see this man. He looks emaciated. He's got matted, dark hair, appears to be human, but he's got sunken, sallow skin.
00:08:28
Speaker
He's got pretty raggedy beard. And you see he's wearing a shirt that is sort of torn at the front. And as you peer through the crowd, you see that there are several large claw marks running across his chest.
00:08:45
Speaker
Ah, like fresh ones? Clay, do you want to make a medicine check? Yes, I do. And do any of us recognize the man? You do not. It's a decent sized crew.
00:08:57
Speaker
It's possible that you just haven't crossed paths with him, but he does not look familiar to you. ah I got a 24. Clay, it's hard to see, but you kind of push through the the crowd of onlookers and get closer, and you see that these claw marks appear to be old, but you would wager, based off your experience, maybe three months old. not Not so old that they're fully healed. You see there's a little bit of pus on the edges. It seems like there's maybe some infection.
00:09:32
Speaker
But it's not he's not actively bleeding from these these woundmbs this wound. And you as you get closer, I'd say you see it looks like... Not like his chest is like all torn up. It looks like there was one big... like Something big ran its claws across his chest a single time.
00:09:47
Speaker
And we can see it because his shirt is open? Yeah, it's like torn open. Oh, okay. And as you get closer, the man...
00:10:00
Speaker
He sputters and coughs up a bunch of water and the captain is there she says, give him space, give him space. He needs, he needs room to breathe, dammit. What a cruddy looking gentleman.
00:10:12
Speaker
Who are you, boy? And he like, the man bolts upright and you see he's just got this frenzy look in his eyes. His eyes are just wide and panicky. And he he grabs the the captain and says, you've got to help me.
00:10:27
Speaker
They're animals.
00:10:32
Speaker
At this point, the captain turns to Frock, Gingrim Frock, and says, see that this man gets down to the infirmary. Make sure DeToro has a chance to look at him and get these gawkers out of here.
00:10:44
Speaker
We don't need a crowd. Yes, captain. All right, you heard the captain. Everyone give the guy some space, please. And a couple of crew members will lift the guy up onto the shaky legs and carry him below deck.
00:11:03
Speaker
Don't worry, my friend is actually a doctor. The doctor's coming. And I grab Clay and start following. Oh, but I have questions. I told you guys, this is in my blood. But we're like four days away from land.
00:11:17
Speaker
What if there's other survivors in the water? Like, where did this guy come from? Yeah. Questions we can ask him when we're in the room with him. Come on, Doctor Clay.
00:11:29
Speaker
ah Okay, can we go the infirmary? Excuse me, we have a doctor. They'll provide medical assistance. Don't worry. Does the ship have a doctor? You're the doctor now, Clay. Don't ask that. Exude authority. I'm asking the DM because who's in the infirmary?
00:11:45
Speaker
The captain said let Deturo take a look at him. You don't know Deturo is, but it seems to imply someone with some ah authority to look at a emaciated man pulled out of the ocean. Okay.
00:12:06
Speaker
Actually, before we go to the infirmary, I do want to do like a perception check on the ocean if there's like any debris or other people. For sure. She's going to run to the ledge and look over.
00:12:17
Speaker
Give me a perception check. Okay, that's great. Six. You look out. It is, like I said, it's dark. It's cloudy. Visibility is pretty poor. There's these big waves kicking up.
00:12:30
Speaker
You scan the horizon and nothing, nothing seems to be out there. Neither debris or a ship or anyone else in the water. Okay.
00:12:42
Speaker
I guess Clay will go to the infirmary then. All right. You two follow? Yeah. Yeah, of course. All right. You venture down below decks to the second level down, if you will.
00:12:58
Speaker
From your time on the ship, the deck has access to things like the dining hall and the shuffleboard. We didn't even get into the shuffleboard last time, but there's a shuffleboard area. It's very nice. You know, there's like a little, a little smoking parlor where people read and play games. There's the bar, very nice things on the top deck down one level. There's all the
Magical Infections and Backgrounds
00:13:19
Speaker
passenger rooms.
00:13:20
Speaker
And then you go down another level into what appears to be the more crew centric part of the ship. That's where Glimke found the captain. That's where it seems like the crew sleeps where supplies are stored. And you sort of follow this man who's being carried down into the ship down the hallway and he's brought into this room. It is scantily decorated, very, very few decorative pieces. It is very clearly a ship's doctor's office. There is a surgery table in one corner of the room and a little wooden desk and various shelves with things clay you would recognize
00:14:04
Speaker
reagents for making different medicines. And there's a small door off of that. And kind of as you enter the room, Jenjim is pounding on this door.
00:14:18
Speaker
Totoro, sir, we need you immediately, sir. There's a man. He doesn't look so good, sir. And very shortly after the door opens and you see someone that maybe in your travels you have independently come across someone of this ilk?
00:14:37
Speaker
Maybe not, but he is a blue man. He has light teal skin and a large fin like that of a fish running from the top of his head down his back.
00:14:48
Speaker
He's got a white coat on and a stethoscope, and you may or may not recognize him as a triton, a denizen of the Elsween Sea.
00:15:00
Speaker
Whoa. There's mer people. But he has legs and he quickly runs out and shouts out at the at the the crewmen. What word is the table? Let me take a look at him.
00:15:11
Speaker
Whoa. Love that voice. And he starts doing a physical examination and he tears the shirt all the way open so he can look and says... Infections already taken hold.
00:15:23
Speaker
Doesn't look too bad, though. Surely some antibiotics will help with that. And he, like, opens up his eyes and pulls his tongue out. and ay Clearly malnourished.
00:15:34
Speaker
Signs of scurvy. All right, well. Sir, what happened to you? Where were you? Were you on a ship? Did it go down? What happened? And the man says, I was taken from Sunfall.
00:15:48
Speaker
They were masks. I didn't see them. But... They held me on their ship for for months. I just managed to escape and dove overboard, and I thought I was going to drown, but it was better than another minute with them. Wow.
00:16:05
Speaker
You just jumped—sorry to interrupt. Hi, Glimke. You jumped off another ship? How long ago did this happen?
00:16:15
Speaker
It's hard to say. it was perhaps 12 hours ago, maybe less. It was still light out, but it's been less than a day. Damn.
00:16:26
Speaker
I mean, that's quite the courageous thing you did there to jump into uncertain waters. Who took you? what Why did they have you? I do not know. They did not want money.
00:16:40
Speaker
Honestly, they did not seem very interested in engaging with me at all. They gave me bare minimum food and water to keep me alive, but they did not really ask me any questions or seem to want anything specific from me.
00:16:58
Speaker
And were you alone or were there others taken with you? It was just I, as far as I could tell, and the two of them and, well, whatever creature they kept with them, their pet.
00:17:13
Speaker
Sorry, did you say the two? Yes, I only only ever was able to identify two men. I do not know if there were more aboard. I was kept in a cell below decks.
00:17:25
Speaker
That sounds awful. We're all doctors, by the way, which is why we're here. So you should tell us everything. So you didn't happen to hear the name Electra Vuhn whilst you were aboard, did you?
00:17:36
Speaker
No, I don't think so, but... Okay, and nobody was lizard? Nobody was a lizard or anything like that? They wore masks. I could not see who they were, but- I think you would be able to tell.
00:17:48
Speaker
They appear to be having skin. That's a good observation. Well done. Your observational skills appear to be perfectly intact. That's good. I look at Glimki. Jot that down in his doctor-patient notes.
00:18:01
Speaker
Wait, what did he say? Honestly, I don't remember. They have skin. Yes, he has skin. skin That's what he said. Nobody on board was scaly, is what he said. So they weren't, in other words, they weren't lecture room.
00:18:15
Speaker
Okay. Got it. Their pet was sort of scaly, I suppose. What? Oh. They kept some monster with them. I only saw it the one time, but it's what did this to me. And he starts gesturing his chest aggressively.
00:18:30
Speaker
Ooh, yes, one of the doctors should do something about that. Clay, would you? Wait, was yeah was the the beast was scaly? Or was it, did it look like a bugbear? No, it oh good did not have fur.
00:18:42
Speaker
Okay, got it. It was red. Good question. It had claws the size of dinner knives. What the hell? It sounds scary. Okay, so it was a ship from Sunfall.
00:18:55
Speaker
They were obviously trained criminals doing something illegal. This does not sound surprising at all, right? I mean, Sunfall is literally run by crime lords. It seems to me that you've probably come across some pirates or something. It seems very on brand for Sunfall.
00:19:08
Speaker
And who are you again? Yes, good question. What's your name? My name is Antoine Chuma. And Antoine, you have no reason for them to have grabbed you and taken you?
00:19:22
Speaker
I mean, I don't think so. i try to live a good life. I'm but a humble merchant. I don't have great wealth holdings.
00:19:35
Speaker
i I'm nobody. What is it that you sell? Baskets. Oh. Wicker baskets. Hmm.
00:19:45
Speaker
And what's, you know, you have doctor-patient-client-doctor privilege right now, I think they call it. So you can tell us anything. We won't, like, go to the cops or anything. What's really in the baskets? You know, it's medically relevant.
00:19:58
Speaker
They're just baskets. You can put anything you want in them, as long as it's not liquid. Liquid would pour right through, but ah solids of any sort would... Oh, gas would also not be very good, but anything solid really could go inside them.
00:20:13
Speaker
Insight check, please. I got a six on my inside check there. You think these baskets could probably hold liquid? Damn. Crazy. I actually got an eight on my inside check if that makes a difference.
00:20:25
Speaker
Maybe gas as well. He's probably lying about what the baskets can hold.
Healing and Lycanthropy Concerns
00:20:29
Speaker
This guy's a friggin liar. You could put soup in that weave. Trust me. It's my instinct.
00:20:36
Speaker
So since they seem to have no reason to have wanted to take you... Do you have any belief that they would come after you in the sea? I do not know.
00:20:47
Speaker
It's... It's possible. I don't know why I was taken. It's possible they will come back for whatever original purpose they had in mind. And there, sorry, there was other people on the boat ah alongside you? Like... ah Just my captors, as far as I could tell.
00:21:04
Speaker
That is peculiar. How were they keeping the beast? Was it tied up? What was the beast eating and what did they call it? They did not call it anything, best I could tell.
00:21:16
Speaker
And it was not kept in the same area as me, it seemed. I only saw it the one time. They brought it in below decks and they opened my cage and one of them...
00:21:32
Speaker
He just said, do it. And the beast came and it ran its claws across my chest and then it left. I thought it was going to kill me. I thought it was going to eat me, but it just mocked me and left me to suffer.
00:21:50
Speaker
That is crazy. Hey, sidebar, doctors doctor, sidebar, sidebar. course, Doctor. Yes, of course. Yes, of course. What can i Yeah, you two. What have we discussed? Doctor Nitoru Natu, by the way. Please come over. Act genuinely, you two.
00:22:04
Speaker
Can we step into another room? There's my personal chambers. Okay, personal chambers. How secure is this? Can you hear us Everyone's talking whispered tones. I close the curtain around the vet.
00:22:16
Speaker
emergence It's just like, it's just a fucking shadow puppet play on the other side. Okay. For realsies, how, what would you need to determine what kind of infection this is?
00:22:26
Speaker
and Doctor, are you familiar with like any like magical wounds? Limited practice with thee. Arcane. Slightly more with the divine.
00:22:38
Speaker
I prefer to do most of my medicine. In, shall we say it, the traditional Triton way. I'm going to take a shot in the dark here. What if that guy is infected with some kind of, i don't know, whatever that creature is, came in and infected him with that scratch?
00:22:55
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no, no. no no no Kill him. Like werewolf style? Overboard. I'm like, Doctor, what are you familiar? are you familiar at all with like lycanthropy at all? Why would you even go there?
00:23:06
Speaker
Send him back over. Send him back. Let's not risk it. Send him back over. all Hold on, hold on, on. We don't know. i I'm just jumping. I swear. My my younger sister, Folly, had had read many stories of lycanthropes and had shared them around dark fires back home.
00:23:21
Speaker
We know several wereerats also. Like, I'm just taking a shot in the dark here. it's The potential for that is you know out of of myth and legends and storybooks. But I don't know. His story seems a little weird. This the beast came into his chambers and scratched him and did nothing else.
00:23:39
Speaker
the The crew commanded him to do it. And then he was free to escape into the sea to what? Be picked up by a ship fulfilling its duty to help those lost?
00:23:51
Speaker
Seems a little... Suspicious. But we can test if he's a lycanthrope. Does anyone have like a silver coin? We can just like press it against him.
00:24:02
Speaker
Well, um and Glumpy pulls the curtain back a little bit to look at him a little bit. want to take another look at him. Does he look like like he has any other symptoms? Just in pain? as he sweating Is he Is there any other signs of anything? I don't know what even medicine or or nature. I don't know what to roll there.
00:24:22
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, if he has scurvy, then that means his wound won't, like, it won't heal. Fuck. Glimke, if you want to give me, like, a medicine check to examine him. Sure.
00:24:34
Speaker
Thirteen. flat thirteen. Yeah. We'll say you grab like a lantern, little oil lantern that's burning on the desk nearby, and you hold it up and kind of move it back and forth in front of his eyes.
00:24:49
Speaker
And like they follow the light, but there seems to be a slight delay. There's definitely like a lethargy. And you see like, despite that initial outburst and his ability to hold conversation with you, it definitely feels like that took a lot out of him. He seems to be sort of withdrawing into himself a little bit. He's He's breathing a little heavy.
00:25:09
Speaker
the transformation's underway. He doesn't look great. Yeah, Glimcu goes back behind the curtain and slides it back across. Okay, I'm not a doctor. And don't comment on that doctor.
00:25:23
Speaker
and all For all intents and purposes, we are doctors, but right now, I'm not a doctor. And... I don't know. Maybe it hasn't taken hold yet? Or whatever the... If he's infected? Definitely infected. He looks disgusting. I don't know. Maybe there's like... I don't know how lycanthrope works. Like, has anyone checked the calendar?
00:25:42
Speaker
oh when's the next full moon? What shape of egg are we on? Well, fun fact about living in this flat world. The moons are always full. Wait. Oh no! Oh!
00:25:55
Speaker
higher propensity for lycanthropy than one might see other worlds but you don't know shit about other worlds all you know is zav and there's a lot of werefolk so lycanthropes just transform every night oh no Well, I was thinking, again, in the stories, I don't know if they were talking about some other make-believe world they made up, but usually when someone gets infected, like it doesn't fully take hold of them until they have some sort of inciting incident, like a full moon or or something to incite the transformation.
00:26:27
Speaker
but And then we look out the porthole. It looks like we got two of those. It's going to be double bad and double gross. How long until we get to shore?
00:26:38
Speaker
I'm not too sure about our progress. That's outside of my purview, but so I believe the morning after tomorrow we should arrive.
00:26:49
Speaker
It would have been tomorrow evening, but I believe our departure was delayed. Oh, that's weird. Forgive me for being the voice of reason. Normally I would never. has Nobody's even tried to heal the gentleman. Go slap him with a cure. I could go in.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah. I'm loving the conspiracies from you two, and frankly, i would be on board to tucking him overboard, you know, like just precautionary. Glimke, you have convinced me that he is gross.
00:27:15
Speaker
Makes sense to kind of try to do the normal stuff first, right? My god, I should be a doctor. yeah all of a sudden following Dupros, are you a scientist? know, I know!
00:27:27
Speaker
Literally! I'm going to medical school. I'll be amazing. You're going to be best friends with those round earthers later, right? Yeah. Geez. No, no, i I don't. I don't truck with this science nonsense.
00:27:40
Speaker
Doctor, did you mention antibiotics earlier? What's that? Watch this and then I stook your wounds. Yeah, you lay your hands on him and say a prayer.
00:27:52
Speaker
he i would say his breathing slows slightly, but it doesn't seem to have a large impact on him. his still His skin looks, you know, this kind of yellowish, unhealthy tinge. His eyes are still wide and pupils are dilated and the the wound is still very much present and there's still that pus leaking out of it.
00:28:20
Speaker
hi Great doing business with you, doctor. Here you go talk to the captain. um Keep an eye on him, doctors, and prepare a salve to help drought the infection. Okay.
00:28:32
Speaker
Yes, thank you, doctor. You do that. That guy is gross and he needs to be locked up. Oh, wait, hold on. here wait Wait, wait, wait, hold on a minute. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. i'm so sorry.
00:28:44
Speaker
So rewind. we I didn't realize with Leon hands, I can use up portion of the pool to try cure disease or poison. Okay. So yeah, Glimpki is going to walk up, kind of rub his hands together and tell the Antoine to just lean back, taking a closer look at this like kind of infected wound here and then hovering his hands over it.
00:29:08
Speaker
I'm going to see what my Leon hands can do to his wounds.
00:29:14
Speaker
You put your hands on this guy's chest. And he immediately starts to scream. oh And his spine arches up, coming up off the table.
00:29:27
Speaker
Glimki, you feel something move underneath your fingertips. ah Something is thrashing beneath the skin. ah It is like something is trying to punch through this guy's chest.
00:29:39
Speaker
And you clamp down. You press down with all of your strength. And this burning green light emanates from your hands, filling the room. And... As it just overwhelms your senses, his screaming stops and the movement within his chest calms and he falls back onto the operating table and...
00:30:04
Speaker
Thank you, friend. i I don't know what you did, but I think it helped. Climkey looks over his shoulder at the rest of the room and is like, yeah, just like, what um well, I think we were right and wrong. Maybe whatever I did, I think may have helped this guy.
00:30:28
Speaker
Can I discreetly press something silver against this guy's skin? Sure. You take like a silver piece out. Yeah.
Spirits and Allegiances
00:30:35
Speaker
Yeah, you press this coin into this guy's hip and... It's like gua sha treatment.
00:30:42
Speaker
Yeah. He does not react. He kind of looks at you as something cold presses up against his side, but he doesn't doesn't react adversely. Okay.
00:30:53
Speaker
Give a thumbs up. It's not like a trophy anymore, I guess. If it was, you cured it. I don't i don't know what I did, but I think this guy might be okay.
00:31:04
Speaker
Why would Clay's godly magic not work, but Glimki's godly magic would? Yeah, is the wound still looking as infected? The claw marks are still there, but it is less visibly infected. The red inflammation around these three claw marks is is no longer there, and the pus seems to have dried up.
00:31:29
Speaker
I don't know. I kind of just, since we talked about the potential infection or disease that he may have had, I just thought really hard about whatever thing might be trying to possess his body, and and there it was. it It kind of fought me a little, but I think it's gone.
00:31:48
Speaker
Glimki, did you just perform an exorcism? ah maybe. okay Father Treefellow, what the... Hell? Did you know could do that?
00:31:59
Speaker
I didn't think you had that kind of god. I didn't know I could either, to be honest. ah I mean, cool, I guess. Try one on me. I just want to know something. You think you have a demon in you? disease yeah No, of course not. Just try it on me, though.
00:32:17
Speaker
Just curiously.
00:32:23
Speaker
Clay was with with play the school the school said the clay was clay something Clay's mom was in hell or something like that, and Clay was descended from demons or something like that. Or maybe that's all conjecture, but there was something.
00:32:34
Speaker
Try it on Clay. Okay, well, sorry, maybe demon was the wrong word. It's like, I don't think it was a demon. I think it was just some sort of infection or disease. Is that why my healing magic doesn't work?
00:32:46
Speaker
I want to learn how to do that, Glimpy. Oh, I don't know. I mean, you know what? It's worth a try. on Antoine, can you scoot over? Clay, hop up here for me.
00:32:56
Speaker
He, like, turns over onto his side, making a bit of room for you, Clay. I big spoon him.
00:33:06
Speaker
Don't touch him. Yeah, Gunky climbs up on a little step stool and rubs his hands together again. Closes his eyes. I don't know what I'm looking for at this time, but let's see what we can pull out of clay. and I'm just going to hover my hands over clay.
00:33:21
Speaker
Fix clay. How do I feel? You put these two hands on clay and there's this green flare of light, but clay, you feel like a little tingling where Glimke's hands touch you. But beyond that, it it starts and it disappears as quickly as it began.
00:33:40
Speaker
I'm not going to lie to you, Fondalyn, that didn't feel the same, but maybe it means clay is all good. I feel no different. Okay, I'm not a demon. Yeah, so you're fine. Try on me again. You never were.
00:33:53
Speaker
Okay, well, i I can try. I'm getting kind of tired now. I can maybe do this two more times tops. Do one on me and then do one on you and then none of us will have any demons at all.
00:34:07
Speaker
Uh, okay, might not be very useful later
00:34:12
Speaker
But sure, okay. Clay, scoot over. Antoine, you mind getting up? I hop onto the seat, scooting Clay, and very careful not to touch Antoine. Yeah, he rolls over and just falls onto the ground, and the doctor says,
00:34:25
Speaker
but perform for whatever my Contusion on the hip. i my power bar I'll prepare a different salve. And he starts rubbing some seaweed on Antoine's hip.
00:34:37
Speaker
Glimke rubs his hands together one more time. Oh, by the gods and for its spirits, cleanse this being of all evil. And then I clasp my hands down on Faunalyn.
00:34:52
Speaker
Faunalyn explodes. Oh, damn. Dang, that's crazy. i kind of saw that kind
00:35:02
Speaker
ah No, same same as when you lay your hands on clay. There is a small little green flare out of you, Faunlin, you feel a slight tingle, but beyond that, there is no ancillary effects.
00:35:14
Speaker
Well, I think that says a lot about me and my character, don't you? I think we're all good. No evil or disease. So I've beaten the allegations once and for all.
00:35:25
Speaker
um Like some of the allegations. and Which allegations have not beaten? I don't know if being disease-free clears you of any proclamation of rat sex. This means you were lying about the hepatitis. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. Right. Holy shit, I'm cured.
00:35:45
Speaker
I'm cured! I grab the doctor's cheeks and I kiss him on the lips and say, I'm cured! And now you have herpes. Yeah, now you have herpes.
00:35:56
Speaker
Oh, no. Gloomkey says, i don't think I need to do it on myself. I don't think i me and my people are susceptible to diseases. Just straight up. Just a thing that we don't have. Oh, that's nice.
00:36:07
Speaker
But with demons. I don't think it was demons. I'm going to tell you right now. a thing? You can't diseases? but Gnomes can't get diseases? Yeah. all the vegetables you eat? like No, it's not. Sorry, not a gnome. Sorry.
00:36:19
Speaker
It's not a gnome. It's my oath of protection, I guess, has protected me somehow. You have an oath of protection? I don't know what the fuck it is. That's kind of cool. Like, I've never been sick a day in my life. Wow. Your immune system has an Earth of protection.
00:36:33
Speaker
Who are you supposed to protect with this Earth? don't know. You? you Clay? This guy? That's interesting, because i've I've just almost died like three times since knowing you, so that's interesting.
00:36:44
Speaker
Almost. Keyword. Not dead. Keep working on that Earth, buddy. You'll get there. I'm just... Hold on a minute. How did this turn into me saving this guy into somehow debate on whether I'm doing my job? Yeah, wait, what was up with that guy?
00:37:00
Speaker
didn't know the specifics of your oath before, and now I'm asking some questions. I'm gonna be honest with don't know what it is either. have divine health is what it says on my character sheet floating in the periphery of my consciousness.
00:37:15
Speaker
Gnomes are weird. Can I ask you something, Glimke? Also, why don't we get out of here? Why don't we walk and talk? I want a drink and wash my hands. Yeah, Antoine, feel better.
00:37:27
Speaker
Get some rest. If you feel another creek like weird feeling crawling around in your chest, just give me a holler. Thank you, friends. I will holler loud and proud, I guess.
00:37:40
Speaker
Maybe not proud. It's a certain shame to no hell yeah being enfeebled, taken from my home. But a loud at the very least. Well, you'll be, i think, very happy to know you're on a luxury cruise on the way to a round earth convention. So just live it up with that. Throw me back in the sea. Yeah, yeah.
00:38:00
Speaker
And and the three of you depart from the infirmary. I've never really asked you, Glimki, but what you just did in there was like, I guess I've seen you be tough and I've seen you be destructive before.
00:38:12
Speaker
And I guess I knew that you've healed me, but I've never really seen you do anything like divine before? guess I'm just kind of curious for the first time about your god situation ship.
00:38:23
Speaker
Oh. Oh, yeah. It's complicated. It's not really a... don't really have an allegiance to a god... at all we're more of spirit people back in dwells and yeah i mean that's kind of the energy that flows through the blade on the destructive side i guess i'd never really tested the limits of what i can do with healing i mean i know i can mend wounds but i didn't know that i could affect someone in that way
00:38:54
Speaker
Yeah, that was very interesting. i i mean, I've heard of nature spirits, of course. I grew up in a forest, but i i didn't really know people could swear allegiances to them. Is that common in dwells?
00:39:08
Speaker
um To be honest, I don't know. i I don't know if I really... war allegiance to them. It was more like a, he saved me from death's door and I kind of like owe him my life sort of. And, you know, it's like getting a little complicated now because i don't know, seeing how clay and the people of McCrog work and just, you know, expanding to see all these other godly figures and the way that people align with them. It's just making me feel like maybe, i don't know,
00:39:44
Speaker
Did i ah align myself too early? I didn't really explore my other options. I know that's something crazy coming from an 80-year-old, but this is all pretty new to me. Wait, didn't you say you were on death's door and you kind of, like, bargained your way out of dying?
00:40:00
Speaker
What options were there to explore? Dying? Or deal? i mean, yeah, if you put it that way, i guess my choices were pretty limited. But, I don't know. Is your nice to you? That sounds a bit, like...
00:40:13
Speaker
That sounds like a deal i would cut. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, he's yeah so he's nice. He's helped us ah yeah he's helped us out. So you don't think it was like exploitative?
00:40:24
Speaker
Well, I don't know yet. It feels like maybe other people are trying to figure out how to weasel their way into my consciousness, but we'll see.
00:40:36
Speaker
Do elaborate. You guys remember that dragon? Yeah. Yeah. Brighamon. That kidnap... What's his face? Sten Dexter. Yes.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah, Sten. Classic princess in distress. Yeah, there was like another tree spear that took the shape of grey, weird frog lady, um and...
00:40:59
Speaker
They basically were like, ah, like if you want me to help you, you can help you, but you have to plant the seed where you call home. And I was like, all that sounds like a good deal. Maybe that sounds cool with me. But then I did that and then Malari was like really annoyed that I would even entertain the idea of potentially aligning with another spirit.
00:41:20
Speaker
I mean, you know, things are complicated. Yeah. Oh, it's fine. It's fine. i i I threw the seed away. But then i a i don't know what that meant for me either, to be honest, because I kind of made a deal with that other spirit for it to help us. And voila, a dragon appeared and helped us.
00:41:39
Speaker
And then I threw away the seeds. So, i don't know. Have you noticed that some of my leaves are gray? Yeah, they do look little. didn't want to say anything, but yes, I've noticed immediately. Yeah, um okay.
00:41:53
Speaker
I don't know. it maybe i have some Maybe I have some bad karma going for me right now. And it kind of feels like these two spirits are fighting over my allegiance a little bit.
00:42:06
Speaker
And I know this is a lot to just come out with all of a sudden, but yeah, that's kind of just floating in the back of my mind 24 hours a day. Basically, you have like the messiest dating life of all time, but instead of a dating life, it's the allegiance of your soul literally tied to your life's essence to multiple petty and jealous nature gods.
00:42:28
Speaker
Yeah. Wow, you've been dealing with lot. That sounds really stressful. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, but, you know, that's that's fine. It's my thing. i had a good conversation with Brightscale about, you know, judgment and, you know. He's very helpful with those things. so Yeah, you can he helped me contextualize some stuff.
00:42:48
Speaker
Interesting. One second, I rifle around in my little sewing bag that I think I keep amongst my personal effects, and I pull out a tiny pair of sewing shears. Do you want me to just clip away the gray one? And then it would be like it never happened, right?
00:43:02
Speaker
Uh, no, that like kind of hurts. Straight up, it hurts. Oh, oh my God. You're like part, you're really part tree. I mean, I guess i knew you. Yeah, I'm not just wearing like a crown of leaves.
00:43:14
Speaker
You could, it's kind of cool. Honestly, I've thought about You pick up this. Okay, well, if you want a haircut that hurts, we can just snip away that gray god once and for all. No, no, no, no, it's cool.
00:43:27
Speaker
It's cool. I think it's a good reminder that I have some unfinished business with the spirits. Yeah. Interesting. And maybe my ah my karma scales are a little off off balance right now.
00:43:39
Speaker
I'll figure it out. Well, it looks like you still have a lot of Valari's favor though, because that healing magic you did helped that guy so much. And it was pretty powerful. like My spell did nothing.
00:43:53
Speaker
So it still seems like you're in a good place with your spirit. that That is true. Hopefully it stays that way. I guess if you ever want to talk about your existential dread, Clay always available to talk.
00:44:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. Thanks, Fonelan. I appreciate that. was just about to say that. Yeah, of course. Anytime. I guess me too, also. Thanks, guys. But you know, actually, as soon as I said it, I was like, actually, literally nobody on Earth knows more about the machinations of powerful beings and how territorial they can be than so That's cryptic?
00:44:29
Speaker
No, it's not. I'm like a rich person whose family has a ton of land and we deal with the, you know, the drama. I thought you were talking about deities. ah You should be religious. You would love it.
00:44:41
Speaker
No. I'm the closest to God that I know. allf she damn. There might be an ego conflict, you know? God complex? No. I'm just really great and powerful already. Like, what do I need a God for, you know? Although...
00:44:56
Speaker
I would like to revenge my enemies. Anyway, was well done with the gawking. You two might be, it might be in your bloods too. That as well as wood chips, apparently. Grimki. Is there anything else you wish to do tonight before you go to bed?
00:45:12
Speaker
Report what Antoine said to the captain about there being two guys on a ship with a beast somewhere in the area, I guess. Yeah, you let her know and she thanks you for the information.
00:45:27
Speaker
She's seen a lot but doesn't seem to know exactly what to make of of what you've told her. But the three of you go to your your three rooms below deck and night passes uneventfully and you wake up in the morning for your final day of travel.
Kelp Entanglement and Creatures
00:45:47
Speaker
Could I get everybody to roll d12? D12. I rolled an 8. So did I. rolled a 6.
00:46:00
Speaker
The last day of your journey begins. You know that 24 hours, give or take from now, you will pull up to the shores of Kobaris and your search for the princess will begin in earnest.
00:46:14
Speaker
The weather thus far has been a mix of nice, beautiful, sunny ocean days, as well as ah few cloudier ones. Nothing amounting to a storm just yet, but today definitely falls into the latter half of those categories. You wake up, it is it is cloudy, it's a little choppy, there's a faint hint of cold in the air.
00:46:36
Speaker
Nothing too bad, but... Not quite the warm, sunny, tropical days of the beginning of your voyage. And the day passes without incident. One final dinner is served. The captain approaches you, Glimke, and hashes out the final details of her story, making sure you have all the all the details you wish you could forget.
00:46:59
Speaker
Might not even make it into the book. Some of them are very granular. Some of them you don't care for, but you get them all the same. Ptolemy finds you as well and announces that he's actually going to carry on to Sarposson. He originally planned on getting off at Khabarus and performing there, but he's going to continue on to Sarposson and stay with the captain, try and get some more details and other stories that he can turn to song. But they both promise to abide by the contract. And surely at some point down the road, you'll see some royalties. I better.
00:47:30
Speaker
The night concludes, like I said, with one final meal and the three of you go to sleep, eager to awake and begin your time on Kobaris.
00:47:41
Speaker
Clay in bed, the ship rocking, swaying in the night, Glimpki curled up, no dreams disturb you, no messages from gods or spirits.
00:47:54
Speaker
Fonelin meditating as you do in your trance-like state. awaiting the dawn, and sometime in the dead of night, there's a sudden impact.
00:48:05
Speaker
The sound of the ship almost scraping on something, and Farnaline, you're sitting there, eyes closed, meditative, and you feel yourself slammed sideways into the wall as the ship suddenly seems to come to a halt.
00:48:17
Speaker
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. um I hastily knock on Clay and Glimpy's doors both. All right, you run out into the hallway. You see a few other passengers, doors opening, looking out into the hallway, confused.
00:48:31
Speaker
From above decks, you hear the distant shouts of the crew. And yeah, you knock on the door, awaken Clay and Glimke, and the three of you convene in the hallway. Did you all feel that?
00:48:42
Speaker
What was that? The impact? ah Yeah. Have we run aground? Are we here? we crash? We can't be there. We're we're ahead of schedule. What? oh Where could we be? Are we still moving? Yeah, is this ship still moving, Zach?
00:48:57
Speaker
You get the sense you've been on the ship for the better part of five days at this point. The steady momentum that you could feel the constant movement of the ship is almost non-existent. It feels like any forward momentum has ceased, but it does seem like there's still a slight bit of sway as if the waves are still having some sort of impact on you.
00:49:18
Speaker
But you do not feel like you're moving forward any longer. Oh my god, maybe we did arrive. oh like Let's go check it out. Yeah, let's go check it out. You run down the halls and up the stairs, up onto the deck of the ship, and you see that it is still the dead of night.
00:49:36
Speaker
It is cloudy. There's a wind blowing. The light of the two moons is non-existent and you see landmass in sight.
00:49:47
Speaker
You look out over the deck, out onto the ocean and you see just ocean for as far as you can see, which admittedly is not very far in this middle of the night. ah is There's other crew people up here.
00:50:00
Speaker
Yeah, is the captain? You see the captain shouting out instructions and you see several crew members armed with hatchets, knives, daggers climbing over the edge of the ship. Some of them, there's like a ladder that's strung up. Some of them have ropes that they're climbing down.
00:50:14
Speaker
Wait, they're climbing off the ship? They're climbing off the ship and the captain shouts out, get that kelp taken care of. Don't know what's lurking under the surface. Oh man. What?
00:50:24
Speaker
I'm not personally worried about seaweed if that's the issue. Hmm. Maybe we're caught up in some. Um, Jumjum, where are you, Jumjum? You hear a voice from off the side of the ship say, I'm right here, sir.
00:50:38
Speaker
Okay, Glimki wants to run over to the edge and see where Jumjum's at. You look down and you see Jumjum is standing on the water. Oh, okay. along with a half dozen other crew members.
00:50:50
Speaker
And as you look, you see it is not water, but in fact, just this massive tangled net of seaweed or kelp that has fully enveloped the ship.
00:51:01
Speaker
And as the waves of the ocean, the Elsween Sea move and flow, you see the this platform of greenery slowly rises and swells with each passing wave, but it holds intact and they are able to seemingly walk across the water.
00:51:16
Speaker
And you see the ship is just fully caught up in this mess. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. It's Tangle Kelp, sir! Tangle Kelp. We're stuck! Tangle Kelp. Yes, sir! Uh, do you need some help cutting us free?
00:51:30
Speaker
That'd be much appreciated, sir. We could be here a long time. no okay. I, I don't know. Glimki, yeah, wants to, I guess, go over the side. Sure. Uh, just point of order.
00:51:42
Speaker
What are you bringing with you, gear-wise? Uh, a sword. What innocent question. an innocuous question from RGM. It was middle of the night, you know? I don't know if you're, like, running out on deck with a sword or... I mean, like, if I'm thinking, like, if I'm... Like, I would not have dothed mine armor. Okay.
00:52:00
Speaker
Valid. Or is it donned? I would not have donned my armor. Dothed would be taken off. I would have dothed it at night. Okay, yeah, so Glimki in his like fatigues and no no plate, I think, which I think might be safer as well in terms of sinking in the water and his sword will climb over and down the ladder.
00:52:23
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, you climb down this rope ladder. It's got these little wooden rungs, little platforms, essentially, each maybe three, four inches thick, weathered wood, swaying gently with each passing wave.
00:52:36
Speaker
But you manage to clamber down, and before long, you step out and... It feels like you're going to sink, but you you step out and it's like standing on a bouncy castle or a waterbed. Each step, the ground moves beneath you in an unpleasant way, but you're able to more or less keep your balance.
00:52:56
Speaker
Clay and Fonelin, what are you two doing? I'm certainly not crawling off the ship into the ocean to do free labor. Fonelin is wearing, just for... people's imagination you know that ebenezer scrooge oh hell yeah at night time yeah yes with the hat and everything with little wispies of her red hair poking out the bottom of the of the rim i want to say she's holding a little candelabra because it's medieval times why can't she play i guess i'm gonna go back to sleep i don't know this is not really my scene
00:53:26
Speaker
What are you going to do? I think I'll stay and help also. sooner we get out of this... What was a Tangle Kelp or something? Then the sooner we get to Kobar's.
00:53:38
Speaker
was hoping you wouldn't say that because I'm on my Be a Better Friend arc and if you stay and Glimki stays and I go back to my room and... Stare at the wall for the next four hours as planned. I'll kind of look. I mean, you should get your sleep, too.
00:53:53
Speaker
Play, that's the rub of it! I don't sleep. Oh. Yeah, it's an elf thing. We just kind of zone out for a few hours. I've already done that. Well, then then here, hold told this.
00:54:06
Speaker
I hand her my candelabra. So you're holding two of them? Oh, yes! Yes, I'm helping! And I go to the prow of the ship and like stand like a shiphead with my arms outstretched, casting light.
00:54:20
Speaker
And Clay clayde doesn't want to go over the side either because she doesn't have a blade or anything, but I want to... like cast the rope of climbing down to glimki so he can like tie himself off so he doesn't risk falling off into the sea that's a good good idea nice one very smart amazing uh and remind me what's the uh activation phrase uh slither forth magic rope yeah thank you very good yeah yep clay yells this at the top of her lungs amazing
00:54:52
Speaker
And the rope slithers forward and wraps itself around Glimke's belt. And with Fondalyn standing, like she's auditioning to replace the the current figurehead of the ship. You watch as Glimke sets to work along with other crew members, and you start cutting and pulling. And it is weird, Glimke. You've got a lot of experience with nature, and this does not quite rise to the level of something sentient or awakened, but it is...
00:55:17
Speaker
holding onto the ship with almost like a death grip. It just is, it is trying to like weasel in and you watch these little pieces of green trying to fit in between the slats of the ship, the little gaps in the boards, any, any handhold is just trying like a creeping vine. It's like a time-lapse plant as it's trying to crush and grab this ship. What the hell is this? You pull back a clump of grass, a clump of the sea grass.
00:55:43
Speaker
And you see ah skeleton just fully enveloped with pieces of greenery poking out from its ribs and out through the the gaps in his skull and his eyes. ah Okay.
00:56:01
Speaker
Oh, God. Oh, what is he rolling? What is that? to What just happened? Clay, I will let you make a perception check and Faunlin, I will let you make a perception check with disadvantage given how you have been conducting yourselves while this is taking place. What's happening?
00:56:19
Speaker
won Oh no, oh no, what's happening? 21. And that's a 12. Still? so Not bad though. I will say, with a 21, Clay, you see it's dark, there's a few people are holding torches or lanterns amongst the crew as they're working, not much light from the sky above to guide you, as I mentioned.
00:56:40
Speaker
You watch this carpet of of seaweed of kelp moving and swaying, and... You look down and you you think you notice like almost little crabs, little tiny, you know, like maybe size of a ah gold piece, maybe a little bigger, start to climb out of little gaps in in the tangle kelp.
00:57:04
Speaker
What the f- And they keep coming. Tens of them, dozens of them, hundreds, pooling up, And you just happen to see in time this large, colossal figure, maybe eight feet tall, with bulbous proportions. It's large, almost bloated gut.
00:57:24
Speaker
It stands on two feet with little bifurcated claws. Its skin is brown, and it has these dark red streaks in a pattern running down its back. You see it's got eight glossy black eyes and you just watch as it bursts forth from the seaweed and shout out a warning to Glimki. He's able to step out of the way as this creature slashes down at him with a large claw. Fuck.
00:57:47
Speaker
And you continue to watch as two large spiders, each the size of ah of a mule, come scurrying out of previously unseen gaps in the in the grass as well.
00:57:58
Speaker
And I'm going to have everyone roll initiative. Oh, no. Disgusting. my. I want you to know, roll two natural 20s on their stealth. Oh, my Jesus. The third faction rolled lower. So you you saw it. You saw them. Crabs and striders. Little guys coming.
00:58:16
Speaker
Is this like Lord of Quiet crab edition? yeah Like made out of lo made out of crabs instead of locusts. I rolled in that one on my initiative. Ruh-roh for a total of for a total of one.
00:58:30
Speaker
I got a 20. One for clay, 20 for Glimke. Because of my warning. I warned him so he can see things coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. I got a natural 19, which is a 23 initiative. Wow. 23 for Faunalyn. I also rolled a 19, but I just got plus one.
00:58:49
Speaker
Respectable. All right. Funnel it. You are first. You are standing. You do not see this initial attack, but Clay shouts, allergic to it, and you look over and you see, like I said, this large figure looming over Glimke.
00:59:03
Speaker
These two larger, like large spiders, each maybe five feet wide. These long, slender legs. They're not covered in hair. They're sleek, seemingly aquatic in nature.
00:59:15
Speaker
They are nearby, and you watch just these massive mounds of smaller spiders. pooling over over the grass, over the seaweed, approaching the crew. You see several other large spiders burst forward and start to attack various crew members.
00:59:30
Speaker
And what would you like to do? Oh, dear God. This is why you never do unpaid labor. i am going to look around the deck. I need a description of what is on the deck and what is available to me.
00:59:42
Speaker
And specifically, actually, I'm just going to let you describe it first before I say what I'm angling for. So the ship is creaking slightly as the sails have been lowered. They wanted to let some of the air out so as to avoid the ship pulling too hard against this this kelp before the the carve out job had been done. they didn't want the ship to damage itself trying to pull free. So the sails are hanging somewhat limply from the mast. There are a few crew members running to grab but things. You don't know what, presumably something to help with this sudden incursion of spiders and spider kin.
01:00:16
Speaker
There are various barrels of supplies and crates stacked up upon each other. This large central mast, of course, that holds it all with a crow's nest at the top. If there's something specific you're looking for, let me know. But otherwise, you know, ship stuff.
01:00:32
Speaker
Two things. First thing, is the crew pulling out any form of like cannon, Gatling gun, harpoon? Definitely not a Gatling gun, but there are a couple of cannons on board the um ahboard on board the deck and one like kind of on a couple on either side, we'll say. And surely, yeah sure enough, a couple crew members are running and trying to shove those up. And unfortunately,
01:00:56
Speaker
They don't really aim down. Not really a great a great tool for things directly below your ship, you know, typically used to engage things from further out. in Disappointing. Secondly, are there any, as we know, we had a party very recently.
01:01:11
Speaker
Are there any remaining bottles or barrels of anything alcoholic about? Not on deck, but at the bar for sure. them up. I am going to sprint to the bar.
01:01:23
Speaker
Okay. and grab as many bottles because I'm completely unarmed. I'm canonically wearing Scrooge jammies, which when i thought of it as a fun little detail, it did not occur to me that I was effectively completely disarming myself, which is the second time in this campaign that for the sake of a fun little fashion moment, I've ended up unprepared for combat. So that's a lesson on me.
01:01:44
Speaker
Anyway, i am going to blow out one of the candelabras, but keep one of them lit. And I am going to swoop up in my long arms as many bottles as I can from behind the bar and return to the edge of the ship.
01:01:58
Speaker
And I'm going to start making Molotov cocktails. First thing to go is my little sleep cap. It gets shoved directly into a bottle of rum. the cork from which I pull out with my teeth as my hands are full, and I'm gonna get to lighting. And before you say, ah, throwing fiery things at water, I am aware of the fact that alcohol burns on water. It just doesn't burn off the water.
01:02:20
Speaker
Like, it doesn't eliminate the water. The water stays, i don't want to get into the is water wet debate, but the water stays water. But fire can be a lit on top of the water if you pour something flammable.
01:02:32
Speaker
So, I think a Molotov cocktail would work on the water. I will not can contest the efficacy of a Molotov cocktail on the water. Thank you. But I will contest the time it takes you to run down and back. I will you sprint below decks, grab everything you can and start to come back and we'll say next turn, and you'll have enough movement until i get back to the deck of the ship and start throwing.
01:02:54
Speaker
While I run, I'm going to shout the British are coming style. Just be like yelling down the halls. We're being attacked. Take off arms. Seize the weapons. Today show the make of your metal. And various things that will call people to action. Nice. Amazing.
01:03:10
Speaker
Give me a performance check. Oh, gladly. It's going to be an 18. Oh, shit. 18. hear as you're running down the halls back towards the bar, Perez! And a certain bard say, no, thank you.
01:03:25
Speaker
And yeah, you grab as many bottles as you can, run back up to the deck. And Glimki, you turn around as this massive creature is looming over you. And I'm going to say, actually, you know what We'll say you initially, like, it clawed at you, you jumped out flavor. And we'll say it's not quite, like, up in your face. It's, like, a few feet back.
01:03:44
Speaker
okay It bends down and, like, hunches over. This bulbous shape sort of contracts. And with these two large claws, it's going to start ripping up chunks of this tangle kelp. And it is just going to throw these globs of kelp at you.
01:03:57
Speaker
Um, okay. Does 11 hit? Yes, because I don't have any armor. Okay. Oh no. You are restrained by tangle Kelp as it just starts to wrap around you and contract around you. You are unable to move and your attacks are made with disadvantage, but on your turn, you can attempt to escape as an action. Okay. And that is its turn. And we'll say as it sees that it connects with you, it like starts to creep forward. It gets down on all fours and starts to climb towards you. Very comfortable.
01:04:31
Speaker
not seemingly disturbed by the movement of the kelp in the ocean beneath it. And it is your turn.
01:04:40
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay. So... oh no.
01:04:49
Speaker
I think I'm going try to move. Let's try to wiggle out of this. Yeah, so Gloomkey, try to, like, there's no way I can use my sword to to help me at all, to cut my way out of this. From, like, a flavor perspective? Then, yes, that's what I'm going to try to do. Gloomkey's trying to swing at the foot of this.
01:05:06
Speaker
What do I roll? a Strength check, please. Oh, no, I got an 11. Okay. An 11 is what you needed. Oh, thank Christ. mean, thank You take your blade.
01:05:18
Speaker
Malari screams in anger. Oh, shit. You take this blade that is pressed up close to your side, and you manage to twist your wrist and just press with all your might, and the blade cuts through the the kelp, and you shake it off, and this this large creature still standing in front of you, but you are no longer restrained. Okay, and sorry, that's like the end of my turn, right?
01:05:38
Speaker
No, that's just an an action. Oh, so you can still move if you want or if you have a bonus action, you can do something. Just an attack. Okay. Yes, let's let's try to move. What is the other side of the rope attached to?
01:05:53
Speaker
Me, I'm holding it. oh Hell yeah. Glumki's gonna run ship parallel to the length of the ship and until his feet leave the ground because of the rope.
01:06:05
Speaker
Okay. where are you Where are you trying to get Literally, I want to run until like, pendulum swing off the ground. Okay. And then whatever resolves later when I start swinging back the other way.
01:06:19
Speaker
Okay. Don't let go of me. It is going to attempt to claw at you as you run past. That's fine. Ooh, that will hit. That is a 23. Well, yeah.
01:06:29
Speaker
well yeah And it will hit you for, ooh, a lot of damage. Sorry. No, no, you're good. 10 slashing damage. chees Easy, easy, easy, easy. and We're good, we're good. We're good.
01:06:41
Speaker
It rakes its claws into your back, and you keep running. And this rope goes taut, and almost as if aided by the magical properties of the rope, you find yourself brought up into the air.
01:06:53
Speaker
And I will say, Clay, you can influence what the rope does if you want on your turn. can either let physics take over or you can start issuing instructions. But you watch as these two giant spiders that are next to this other creature, they are going to surge out and just attack a couple of crew members.
01:07:10
Speaker
Jim, Jim! No! And you watch as a spider just jumps onto an unnamed crew member and just digs its its fangs into it. And he starts thrashing about on the ground and then goes limp. And you watch as these smaller swarms of spiders start running around start swarming over. Some of them start climbing onto Jengim and start trying to attack him. he's a They're not as strong. They're very little. Well, not very little. They're big for spiders, but not as big as the other spiders. You get the idea. They started like trying to attack him and he's brushing them off. He starts screaming says,
01:07:41
Speaker
Sir, sir, the spiders trying to eat me, sir. And we'll go to clay. my gosh. First question. First answer. Geyser thing that gave us like bless or whatever. Is that i we still active? That has worn off, unfortunately. Oh, because it was for the day. Oh. Darned.
01:08:00
Speaker
ah That was a day ago. Okay. Many, in fact. We've been on this boat for five days. Damn. Wow. How far is like where Glimki and the the crab monster from me, from the edge of the railing of the boat.
01:08:16
Speaker
Let's see. i would say, Glimki, I believe the rope is 30 feet long. So we'll say he's like 30 feet away from you at full rope length, kind of up suspended in the air, swinging up, running up the ship. Whereas the spiders and the larger crab monsters, you as you called it, are, we'll say the ships maybe 20 to 30 feet up. So they're like, you know, maybe 40 feet away.
01:08:37
Speaker
Okay. And we're like on the kelp platform, right? There's no water underneath it? Yeah. You see, like, water's like pokes through, but it's like, you know, like a few inches and it's enough that you can stand on. Yeah, exactly. It's like one of those floating platforms at a at a nice summer lake. But this dear listener has no nice summer lake. Oh, okay.
01:08:59
Speaker
Okay. Okay.
01:09:02
Speaker
I want to first tie the end of the rope around the railing. So I don't accidentally like let go and lose it, but I still have control of it. I like the I can still hold it.
01:09:13
Speaker
I want to like pull glim key like back 60 feet long. Oh, and it doesn't have to be fully extended though. True. No. Well, I want to like yank it so that he goes swinging back towards the bad guy at like a higher speed.
01:09:30
Speaker
Sure. As a bonus action, you can cause it to move 10 feet so we can say he's like, he's pulled, know, he's kind of pulled in a bit. Yeah. I'm like whipping him back down towards the bad guy. Sure. Okay. Okay.
01:09:41
Speaker
I like it. Yeah. Do I still get an action also? Yep, that'd be a bonus action to command the rope. Then as my action, since I don't have any weapons, I would like to cast Fairy Fire, each object in a 20-foot cube within range.
01:09:58
Speaker
So it's 60 feet range, 20-foot cube. Okay. What is your spell safe? 15. The two large spiders are unaffected.
01:10:10
Speaker
They remain dark and kind of blending in with the the sea grass. But the larger creature, as well as these little individual swarms, are ignited. You see these three almost like distinct clusters of spiders.
01:10:22
Speaker
And then this larger creature just hulking there, looking up hungrily at Glimke, a little bit of drool coming out from between these massive pincers on its face. Anything else, Clay? That's it. That was action, bonus action. And I don't want to move from where I'm at yet.
01:10:37
Speaker
Okay. The crew starts to fight back and we will say they do a bit of damage to the, just the various, your various attackers. Like i said, there's other clusters of spiders kind of further out. Maybe you hear from the other side of the ship, the sound of more fighting, but on your side, yeah, the crew starts to fight back a bit and we will go to the top of the order. Fauniline, you burst back out onto deck, arms full of bottles.
01:11:02
Speaker
What are you doing? I am going to... marvel at my friend who is swinging through the air real quick and then the sprint to the edge and start pelting lighting and pelting molotov cocktails and i'm ripping the fabric off of my floor length scrooge nightgown in strips okay this very nice material by the way you calculating how many molotov cocktails i can pull off in a turn I don't know, that is, and that is but a simple one to be sure.
01:11:34
Speaker
just one ah yeah I think just you rope, let stick rope in or like cloth in, light Crazy. How much damage does one do is the question. That was more what I was trying tos go to figure out. yeah We're going to call this functionally alchemist fire, and we'll explain what that does when it arises.
01:11:55
Speaker
But would you, you're you'd like to make ah an attack? I would. Okay, then make a ranged attack against the creature of your choosing. If it's against one of the glowing ones, you have advantage.
01:12:07
Speaker
Yeah. I'm going to throw one of the glowing ones. Go for it. ah but is What do I add? You would add your dexterity. Yeah, I'd say just your dexterity. I don't think you're proficient in improvised weapons.
01:12:19
Speaker
That's a 19. Okay. And are you throwing at one of the, so your targets, if you're going for a glowing target, would be one of the three clusters of spiders, like little spiders, or the big, big creature?
01:12:30
Speaker
Eh, you know what? I'll go big creature. Okay. This bottle smashes on its back as it's looking up at Glimki, swinging down from above, and it is ignited, which means it is going to take fire damage at the start of each of its turns, unless it takes an action to put itself out. to The way i have just increased Glimki's threat level to landing on top of Spider Thing to landing on top of Flaming Spider Thing. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's
Battle on the Ship
01:12:54
Speaker
fine. It's fine.
01:12:55
Speaker
Okay. If you say so. Anything else? You know, I'm going to look around. Is there anything I could... ah improvised into a sword. You know what? We'll say because of your actions last turn, you see Ruckus Perez and his less described brother, Tucker Perez running up on deck and they each have like daggers in each hand and you can, you can ask for one?
01:13:17
Speaker
Yes. Ruckus! Knife me! He stabs you, but misses. And then you take the dagger from his hand and he dives off the edge of the ship and lands in a mass of spiders and just starts punching forgetting he has a dagger.
01:13:31
Speaker
Nice. Okay. I think that's probably the equivalent of an action and a bonus action. One day in combat, I'll just do like a turn. Like I'll just like attack something. I'm not accusing you of anything, but I think the last time you had a standard attack round was episode seven.
01:13:45
Speaker
Wow. Pretty sure that's the last time you hid and then sneak attacked. Consider putting me in a fight where I have my sword on me, maybe? That is true. Why are we never armed? I asked what you brought out with you. You could have said, think I grabbed my sword. It's fine.
01:14:01
Speaker
It's the middle of the night and I was running a bit. And I love you for it. And your turn ends and the creature takes four fire damage at the start of its turn. And...
01:14:12
Speaker
You know Glimke is still swinging up in the air because this is a magic rope and I'm letting physics be a little silly goofy. And it is going to try and recharge. Recharge.
01:14:22
Speaker
And it does not. What's it got? Oh, yes. Good. It can climb. It can climb now. They climb now. And you watch as it just takes its claws and starts scurrying up the side of the ship, seemingly unbothered by the movement of the ocean or the slippery barnacles that are encrusted upon it. It just climbs up and Glimki, it is going to make a multi-attack against you.
01:14:47
Speaker
Oh, disadvantage because I'm so sick. I'm swinging on a rope. Yeah, but it can climb now. And it is going to attempt to bite you. No, miss.
01:14:57
Speaker
It misses with a seven. Told you. And then it's going to attempt to claw at you once. That's a miss too. So it snaps at you and then rears back and claws as you're falling past it.
01:15:10
Speaker
That's a nat 20.
01:15:12
Speaker
Ooh, okay. ah Okay. That'll be another 15 slashing damage. Easy. Easy, easy, easy. Okay. And that is its turn.
01:15:24
Speaker
We go to Glimke. You are suspended in the air. Just when you thought you had me. yeah yeah It doesn't appear to be able to speak, but it has a knowing look in all eight of its eyes that imply it does think it has you, actually. This burning, flaming, spider-like creature.
01:15:43
Speaker
Watch this. Like, out of a scene from by Attack on Titan, Glicky's running along the hull of the ship, blade in hand, and then he's gonna try slash through some of the multi-legged beast here to try cut it off the side of the ship.
01:16:06
Speaker
Amazing. Give me an attack roll. That sucks ass. Oh, thank you. Please. It is now burning and also eliminated by fairy fire. That sounds like a nat 20 to me. Yeah, it's a nat 20.
01:16:18
Speaker
I rolled 3 plus 4. I got a 7 and then you said I had advantage. Thank God. I got a nat 20 plus 4, 24. Let's go. let's go That's crazy. That's so sick. Oh my god, I was so sad there for second. I was like, well, that was a cool distraction. Okay, this is the only time I'm making contact, probably before I die, so let's Divine Smite.
01:16:41
Speaker
Amazing. So, yes. to dig ta Oh, I rolled an 8 plus 2, 10. 1 plus 2, or no, plus another 1, so only 11 damage on the dice from the sword.
01:16:54
Speaker
And then 2d8 radiant damage. And I got an 8 and 4 on the dice, so another 12. So, yeah, 23. twenty three that went three You come swinging down and your sword starts to glow.
01:17:11
Speaker
starts to take on the glowing illumination of the fire and the fairy fire on this creature. Your sword starts to reflect it and you swing down your sword, leaving a green streak through the air and you just hack off one of its arms and it slides down several feet, screeches out in pain, barely manages to hold its grip. And because of that, i will say it attempts to swing at you as you go. and it as a result, dislodges itself and just falls back onto the onto the Tangle Kelp below. Yes.
01:17:38
Speaker
Wait, did I only get advantage because of the fairy fire? Yes. Yo, synergy. This is crazy. Let's go sick. Oh, okay. Amazing. And you swing past. We'll say you like you swing through up into like another another pendulum swing. Yep.
01:17:54
Speaker
Oh, man. All right. i right Nice. Anything else? I don't think so. Just keep the momentum going. Yeah, like run through and then kick off. So I'm but in in another swing and just waiting for momentum to pull me back.
01:18:06
Speaker
Amazing. Okay. Giant spiders are going to ah continue to attack crew members. And another... Another crew member goes down as it just another spider lunges onto him and just s sinks its fangs in and he he twitches and collapses.
01:18:27
Speaker
The tiny spiders start to go to work. They like i said, they're less seemingly potent than the larger ones, but they what they lack in size they make up for in volume. And you watch as Jenjimfruk is starting to get absolutely covered in them. nice You Ruckus is just like like ah like a cartoon cloud of fists and boots and stars, but he's just covered in spiders. Occasionally you see a fist, but they're starting to slow down.
01:18:50
Speaker
And you see another crew member just get taken down, just completely enveloped in spiders. yeah That being said, the large creature is in a great deal of pain and it is Clay's turn.
01:19:01
Speaker
So where are the big spiders? There's the big creature that's fallen off the boat. Yeah. The big spiders are... Is only big one? Or how many of the big ones are there? There's only one big one that you can see. You see do you do hear sounds of combat from the other other side of the ship, but as far as your theater is concerned... Oh, got it. There's the the one large one, and then it's two large pets, and then the the three three clusters of small spiders.
01:19:27
Speaker
Where are the two pet spiders? Are they on deck? No, they are still just on the on the kelp attacking crew members. What do I want to do? If I leave the rope tied to the railing, Glunki can still swing from it, right?
01:19:40
Speaker
No problem. Yeah. think I'd like to jump down or climb down from the boat now into the fray.
01:19:51
Speaker
Amazing. Into the maw. So you, what you, what are you going after? One of the pet spiders, I guess. If I see it kill a crew member, I think I'm going to go for that one. You grab onto a let the ladder and just slide down, your hands burning, but heat's never bothered you before. And you land on the, on the kelp.
01:20:09
Speaker
It is squishy and your movement is slowed, but you are just able to get up to one. If you're trying to get to one. Yeah. And I would like to cast inflict wounds.
01:20:21
Speaker
Can I grapple it? ah Those would be two different things. An action to do either. I would just inflict wounds on it then. Okay. So you just grab onto this thing with one of your legs.
01:20:31
Speaker
but With one of your legs? I don't think so. You grab onto one of its legs. One my legs. Yeah. Plays a spider. Did we mention that before? They look at you and say, mother. Mother.
01:20:44
Speaker
My child, please die. Clay, give me an attack roll. 15 plus seven. Sheesh. Yeah. That will hit.
01:20:55
Speaker
Okay. And then it's 3d10. Holy crap.
01:21:01
Speaker
Seven, six, and five. Eighteen. 18. Clay, you grab onto this spider with each of your hands. ah Have you cast Inflicked Wounds before?
01:21:12
Speaker
No, I only prepared it this time. I didn't have it prepared before. Amazing. Would you tell me what that looks like? Sick. Yeah, I think I grab on and then you see it start to like...
01:21:25
Speaker
turn black and crackle, kind of like something really burnt, like a wood or something that's like black and peeling and cracking away. Amazing, yeah. This heat emanates from your hands and the spider just shrieks and shrivels up and his legs curl under it and it just collapses into a little pile of ash at your feet.
01:21:43
Speaker
Oh, it's dead? It's dead. and fully, fully cooked. There's still a bunch of these little spiders, but the large caretaker is seemingly in a great deal of pain.
01:21:54
Speaker
And now there's one less big spider. Cool. Anything else? Is casting spiritual weapon a bonus action? Yeah, it is a bonus action to do so. So if you wanted to spiritual weapon, you definitely could.
01:22:06
Speaker
Yeah, I want it to ah cast it, and it's like a ah large glowing version of my regular mace, but I don't have some actual mace on me.
01:22:17
Speaker
And I want it to start like smashing all the tiny spiders. Okay, there's one cloud that's just like eating a guy. There's another cloud that's swarming over Jindjim, and then there's a third swarm that's attacking Ruckus Perez.
01:22:31
Speaker
Which one would you go after? I'm gonna go for the one around Jindjim. So that is a another melee spell attack. So you can roll again and add seven. Well, that's not as good.
01:22:43
Speaker
A nine. A nine is unfortunately not enough. Damn. Wait a minute. No, wait a minute. They were fairy fired. So you can attack with advantage. Nice.
01:22:54
Speaker
And that's not much better. 13? thirteen 13's enough. Let's go. Nice. So you you're you're looking around for a target. You see that this one cluster is dark, not illuminated, not affected by your spell. You decide they're not the ones to go after. You turn and you look at this one that's swarming over Gengim and this mace comes peering out of the air.
01:23:15
Speaker
There's a little heat that emanates from it, a little crackle, and it comes swinging down. And give me some damage, which would be D8 plus your wisdom modifier.
01:23:27
Speaker
An eight plus four. Eight plus four, let's go. 12 damage as half of the spiders are just scraped away, sent flying into the air like little speckles of stardust as they are just burned away by this attack, reducing the swarm's efficacy by half. And Gengem looks and says, thank you, sir.
01:23:47
Speaker
You're the captain now, sir. To which the captain from above says, ah no, Gengem, that's not how it works. Belay that order. I'm the captain of party. Yes.
01:24:00
Speaker
The crew starts to fight back and Jindim's swatting at spiders. He manages to crush some of them, but the ones that are still there still very intent on feasting upon him. Same with Ruckus, he manages to send a few flying, but he's still largely swarmed and his daggers that he sadly forgot to use go falling out of his hands. And he starts just like flailing and saying, this isn't very fun anymore. And we go to the top of the order.
01:24:26
Speaker
Fonelin. You are standing there, pulling corks, tearing fabric, lighting cocktails, throwing them down. You watch, you see clay, you see this giant glowing mace appear, swinging through the air, sending this spark of spiders, these burning spiders, flying off into the air.
01:24:43
Speaker
And it draws your attention, you just watch as these bodies drift upon the the wind, this ocean wind that's just pushing past you, whipping your hair around. The hair on the back of your neck... starts to tingle. It's like there's a ah change in the atmosphere.
01:24:58
Speaker
And you turn around and you see up here in the air, it's like someone carves a hole through space as a faint, dark beam of light starts to carve its way through the air, forming this circle filled with mist.
01:25:15
Speaker
And as you watch, the circle, the two lines form, they connect, and you see someone step through. It is this large figure. He's wearing a cloak that seems too thick for the tropical weather that you've been experiencing.
01:25:31
Speaker
He steps through. he holds a crossbow, this heavy crossbow in his hands, and is wearing a mask that looks like a star painted silver and gold. He steps through. Shit.
01:25:42
Speaker
and steps to the side as a second individual. What? Slender about your height, wearing another mask of their own. It is, you want to say silver, but you spent a lot of time around silver and gold.
01:25:55
Speaker
It is dark and it's darker than silver. It is shaped, molded to this individual's face. And... As you look at it, a familiar feeling of vertigo washes over you. is this dark metal and it is illuminated like the night sky. There are stars and as you look at it, you see the stars are moving and reforming and shaping.
01:26:14
Speaker
This mask seems to be alive or enchanted in some way so that the night sky is reflected upon it and constantly in motion. This individual steps forward as well and the two of them step to the side and a third creature, taller than both of them,
01:26:31
Speaker
covered in red scales, claws each as long as dinner knives dragging across the ground, it's almost toad-like in its appearance. It is huge and it is bulbous and from its throat emanates a deep growl, not quite a ribbit, something darker and more menacing.
01:26:47
Speaker
and the three of them step through, this portal stays intact, and you watch as the large man, without a word between them, he raises his crossbow, pulls the trigger, and a single bolt flies into the air, and as it does, it explodes into a thousand sparks that rain down upon the ship, catching within the sails, landing amongst your bottles, and fire breaks out all upon the Vigilant.
01:27:12
Speaker
What the fuck? Oh, so they just set off a signal flare. Not quite a signal flare. You see fires break out. The sails start to engulf. They lit our boat on fire. so Interesting.
01:27:24
Speaker
And I'm just going roll some initiative for them real quick. I'm in my jammies, Zachary.
Portal to the Enemy Ship
01:27:30
Speaker
My pajamas. That's crazy. Where's Antoine Chuma?
01:27:36
Speaker
Last you saw Antoine, he was resting in the doctor's office. He does not appear to have joined in the in the festivities. Okay, so these are like these are the guys that were after this guy?
01:27:48
Speaker
I mean, the red scaly. Yeah, the red scaly thing. is like So they're after this castaway, essentially. my gosh. oh That could be. Oh, that's scary.
01:28:01
Speaker
Oh, do we have to give this guy up? ah will. Who is this guy? Every vehicle we get into bursts into flames. How does this happen again? It's like poetry. It rhymes. ah Okay.
01:28:15
Speaker
Fonelin, it is your turn. As you see these three individuals step aboard the ship. They have not had a chance to to do anything yet. They have not apparently drawn special attention to you. You don't know what they want or what they're doing.
01:28:28
Speaker
The spiders still rage down below, though some of their numbers are diminished. What would you like to do? For the second time in this campaign? Maybe second? I'm Bordering on third, I'm going attempt to light a man on fire.
01:28:42
Speaker
I see that nice heavy cloak and I think that'll burn. And I'm going to launch one of my, actually, if I hide before I launch my Molotov cocktail, can I get a sneak attack on that?
01:28:53
Speaker
It would not be a sneak attack, but you could attack with advantage. Okay. Whatever you say, little rules man. It's kind of like my whole purpose here. I'd say my job is 50% rules, 50% story and fifty percent math so go on Yeah, so... One of those he's really good at its That's going to be a 22 to hit.
01:29:13
Speaker
A stealth. Stealth roll. Oh, well, that was an 18 anyway, plus whatever my stealth is, which is good. That's going to be a 24 to hit. Sure. What would you like to hide behind? Like the rim of the ship, I guess.
01:29:25
Speaker
You're hanging off over the edge? Oh. Well... I'd say they're like 15 feet away from you. They've stepped out onto the deck of the ship. Oh, I see. No, that doesn't seem like a good use of my upper body strength.
01:29:37
Speaker
I am going to duck behind a crate that you specified there were, you specified there was crates about. I did say there were crates. Oh no, she's got me.
01:29:48
Speaker
She got me, man. But you're dead to rights. There's crates. Okay. And you're throwing a Molotov at the big guy? Yep. And to be clear, the big, the big humanoid, not the giant red toad monster.
01:30:01
Speaker
The big man that seems to call the shots with the big cape. Okay. Give me an attack roll with advantage. Yeah, boy. oh I can roll low. adding to this again? My dex?
01:30:14
Speaker
Yes. Plus anything else? No. That's going to be an eight. With advantage? Oh my God. With advantage. I rolled a three and then I thought, it doesn't matter. I'm the luckiest girl in the world and then rolled a four. No.
01:30:27
Speaker
You peer out from behind this crate, and as you're about to throw, you once again look at the smaller individual. Something about this metal mask discombobulates you just temporarily, and you throw, and this Molotov smashes behind them, sails wide, and one of the splinters from this bolt he fired pierces it, and it just explodes, spreading fire across the deck of the ship.
01:30:52
Speaker
Anything else you want to do? you I mean, you've bonus action hit and then attack action. So anything else you want to do? I think that's it for me. Sorry for making the ship more on fire, guys. It's okay. It's already on fire.
01:31:05
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Broken when bought it. It's not more on fire. It's just on fire. I will say the three of them look at you. The the two humanoids see this Molotov that's sailing through the air. They are made aware of your presence.
01:31:21
Speaker
And... Look at you. No words are spoken, but the smaller of the three individuals, the smaller humanoid raises a hand and points at you. And the toad starts to move in.
01:31:34
Speaker
Sorry, towards, towards who? Towards you. Oh, shh. I was hoping that wasn't the case. I am going to use my movement. Okay. You start to run. I'm going to run Where are you going?
01:31:45
Speaker
I think the way I've been imagining it, and I have to play it true to how i've been imagining it, I actually know it's more than I imagined. I specified that I was at the prow of the ship, kind of acting like a figurehead. I mean, to be fair, you did you did you did leave the prow to go get bottles to throw molotovs. I went right back to the prow. Please.
01:32:01
Speaker
Sure. Arguably a less advantageous spot to throw molotovs from, but that's fair. Oh, well then, okay, let's say I threw it from where I at the scene. I like it, I like it, like it. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna perma-die in this campaign because I'm too committed to the scene, you know? Because I think the coolest thing for me to do now is to kind of like hop up onto the railing of the ship and back myself along the figurehead prow thing. Love it.
01:32:27
Speaker
I am going to hop up onto the, what is the word for the rim of the ship? It's not rim The rim? I'm gonna say rim. what's the What's the word the rim of the death failing?
01:32:38
Speaker
I'm gonna rim a ship. You've already said rim earlier didn't react but I heard it. I did hear it. Didn't say anything, but I noticed.
01:32:50
Speaker
Well, great. I hop back onto the rim of the ship and i kind of back myself along the flagstaff away from the approaching beast. Okay. Are you walking the plank right now? Like backing up off the ship or? Looks like it. Yeah, I guess i guess i am.
01:33:07
Speaker
Okay, that is Faunilin's turn. Back on the ocean, on the surface of the sea, swaying and rising, this creature that is burning, it is going to grab hold of the of the Tangle Kelp and tear it open with, actually, don't use the one hand, but like with the one hand, it pulls open and reveals a passageway large enough for its body, and is going to dive into the water.
01:33:31
Speaker
Bullshit! Extinguishing the flame. but seemingly withdrawing from the combat, at least for now. Sar Poo-say?
01:33:41
Speaker
Glimki, you scream that just as the rope carries you up to the ah around like deck level of the ship. about Around the rim? Around the rim of the ship, yeah. And you see these three individuals standing on deck that weren't previously there.
01:33:54
Speaker
So I just see them for a second. let' start to Yeah, gravity starts to take you back. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Wait, is it my turn now? And it and it is your turn. Oh, great. OK.
01:34:05
Speaker
So when I swung up and saw them for a brief moment, was I in front of them? The way I'm seeing it, they were like like they're looking at towards the way I swung. I would say the first time you ran up, you ran towards the the the bow of the ship, the front of the ship, the and the rope has swung back.
01:34:21
Speaker
you i will note, this is unremarkable to you, but perhaps if you ever lived to exchange notes, this portal that Faunalin can see, you do not see. You just see the backs of these three individuals, this hulking toad. Oh, I see them. I see their backs.
01:34:34
Speaker
You can see their backs. Yeah. You like swing up and you're like, oh there's three more people. One of them is a big red frog monster. And then could I? oh It's too fast to think about. don't have time to think about that. I'm swinging back down the other way.
01:34:46
Speaker
OK. Can I use the momentum on this turn to just sweep myself actually onto the deck? hundred 100%. percent OK. okay Just run in. I'm going to like choke up on the rope so I like it's shorter as I'm running. And then, yeah, try to swing up onto the deck.
01:35:01
Speaker
Do they see me when I come over the ramp? Yes. They do see me. They do. Because you swing back up and you land like a little bit in front them. All right. And you see this toad seems to be pursuing Faunalin and the other two have not had a chance to move yet. You don't know what they they're up to. Okay.
01:35:19
Speaker
Immediate lay of the land. Can I see anything like a loose shield or thing that I could use as a shield? Like a box lid or a barrel lid?
Confronting the Star Mask Man
01:35:31
Speaker
A limp body? Yeah. there's barrels. You can, like, rest the lid off a barrel. Okay, hell yeah. Give me that. Limke is improv-ing a shield and Faunalyn is lighting men on fire. It must be a bard soup combat. Hell yeah. Okay, so I have a shield.
01:35:45
Speaker
I have a sword. And would you say that uses my action? No, I'll say that's your movement and then free action to, like, probably... Maybe that's your bonus action to, like, pry that Nice. We had a like we had had a long rest since the last time we had a combat, right?
01:36:00
Speaker
Oh, definitely. Or sort of the last time we used all the healing, like after I healed those guys. Yeah, that was like last night. And then, well, yeah, you would have went to bed after all that. And then you were already like starting another long rest today. So it's like a day and a half later. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. So I got my lay on hands pull back.
01:36:17
Speaker
Yeah, your pool's back, your spell slots are back, all that's back. Perfect. All right, so I'm going to use 18 points of my Lay on Hands pool on myself to get myself back to decently healthy.
01:36:30
Speaker
and think that's all I can do right now because I'm, yeah, I'm all out. Okay. So I'm just going to grab a shield, heal myself, and then just kind of wait.
01:36:41
Speaker
Okay. Wait to see what happens. Yeah. Well, with that in mind, Glimki, as you step up there, you grab this barrel. We'll say that the you're not like next to the the the large, I'm gonna keep calling it a toad-like creature. You're not right next to it.
01:36:57
Speaker
You get a better chance now to look at them and you see from the front this smaller slender man with this very silver mask and this this sort of wave of vertigo akin to when you were climbing a certain tree back home and just how high off the ground you were kind of washes over you and you feel your knees wobble for a second, but you you hold on and you you rebalance yourself.
01:37:17
Speaker
The second man who's larger with the crossbow, he watch as he's sort of stringing it up back. It's like on a strap and he swings it back up over his shoulder and draws out two swords, a long sword and a short sword.
01:37:28
Speaker
And you watch as this portal is, at least you think it's a portal. It's like a cloud has formed behind them. It is this mist filled circle that you could not see when you looked at them from behind, but from the front, it is there and it is swirling and it is moving. menacing and the slender man, the smaller of the two men without a word is going to walk past the portal and go down the set of stairs that lead below Dax.
01:37:54
Speaker
Okay. On a mission. The second man with the swords is going to follow him. You notice he is limping his left leg, just putting a little extra weight on it.
01:38:05
Speaker
And he is going to march after him. And instead of following him down the stairs, he turns around, swords drawn and stands guard. Oh, who the hell was this guy that we picked up? Yeah.
01:38:18
Speaker
Below Dex, or sorry, not below. Well, I guess in a manner of thinking below Dex, but back on the ocean floor, the second giant spider is going to turn and look at you, Clay, having seen what you did to its its its allies, you ran up and just burned its mate, and it is going to charge at you.
01:38:35
Speaker
Clay, remembering presumably you're not wearing your armor. Yes. So it'd be just 10 plus your Dex is your AC. Does a does a natural one hit? No.
01:38:46
Speaker
Oh, okay. Thank goodness. It tries to bite you and this spectral mace of yours just intersects and its fangs kind of latch over the handle and then it pulls back and it is circling around you looking for an opening, but for the time being has been unable to to strike you.
01:39:04
Speaker
Fonulin. Yeah. This large creature, it is big. It is too big to be as lithe as it is. Its claws dragging across the ground. At times, it almost looks like there's some missing frames as it sort of speeds up, lunging forward. And its claws scraping along the wood.
01:39:25
Speaker
It scurries after you, charges after you, perhaps is a better word, and it does not have and a chance to attack, but it follows you out onto the prow of the ship.
01:39:36
Speaker
You standing on this plank of wood that suddenly doesn't seem strong enough to support your weight, let alone its, and it starts to follow you out there, this large maw, a maw bigger than your head.
01:39:47
Speaker
these sharp fangs, this dark caustic drool pulling out, and it is going to follow you out there and does not have a chance to attack yet, but next turn it surely will.
01:40:00
Speaker
You guys like, we have fun together, right? You like Fondalyn the way she is. Yeah. let's not Let's not traumatize her with this hell beast. Let's just keep having fun together.
01:40:11
Speaker
Too late. And the spiders below are swarming. Clay, I'm going to say the ones that you scraped off are going to continue trying to attack Gengem, but they are hitting for for less. He's not looking good though.
01:40:28
Speaker
He is like kind of down on one knee. kind of slapping ineffectively at them. He does not look healthy, but the another swarm, one of the swarms that was... previously feasting on someone at the scream of their caretaker, they are going to turn and they are going to swarm onto you.
01:40:44
Speaker
And that will assuredly hit because that is 21. So Clay, you are going to take four piercing damage and I need you to make a constitution saving throw. 16.
01:41:00
Speaker
sixteen 16, you feel poison on the tips of their little fangs, but you are strong enough to resist its effects for now. For now. For now.
01:41:11
Speaker
And it is clay's turn. Speaking of the clay. Okay. So there's one other spider circling me and then there's a cloud of spiders?
01:41:22
Speaker
Yeah. Small swarm just kind of pooling around your ankles, trying to find gaps in your in your clothing and so far succeeding.
01:41:32
Speaker
I would like to cast Burning Hands on the Cloud of Spiders. Cool. That's a cone, right? Yeah. I just want to be able to hit like a lot of spiders at once.
01:41:46
Speaker
I would say you could angle it such that it would attack the swarm as well as the larger spider in front of you. Oh, okay. Hit all the spiders at once then.
01:41:57
Speaker
Oh, it's a dex save. Okay, so the large spider, I rolled a 19 on the die, so it's going to succeed. Save as a 15.
01:42:08
Speaker
Yeah. The swarm will fail though. So how much damage? creature takes 3d6 fire damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. So 3d6.
01:42:23
Speaker
Amazing.
01:42:25
Speaker
That's a 12. A 12. Okay. So the big spider is going to take half of that six damage and the swarm will take 12, which as it so happens, will kill about half of them.
01:42:37
Speaker
So I'll say the ones that are swirling around you get burnt away. There's still like a decent number, still a lot of spiders, but less than you were dealing with a second ago. You have a bonus action if you want to spiritual weapon?
01:42:48
Speaker
Yes, I do. I'm going to try to hit the large one. Okay. Give me an attack roll. 16. That'll hit. Give me some damage. for six damage.
01:42:59
Speaker
This mace pulls back after previously blocking its fangs, swings down, and in the afterglow of these burning hands, this mace swings down and just crushes the spider at your feet, and it is killed.
01:43:14
Speaker
And anything else you want to do, Clay? Having seen Glimki swing and then not come back down to fight the remaining spiders, I'm going to try to make my way back to the ship.
01:43:27
Speaker
Yeah, I will say as you look over at the ship, wondering where Glimki has gone, you see this giant toad balanced on the prow of the ship and you see a figure and you're like, what are they doing? And then you realize it's Faunolin as this creature is hunched over and crawling towards her.
01:43:43
Speaker
Oh, fine. Don't even worry about me. where wait where is Dengem again?
01:43:50
Speaker
He's on the ground. He's like maybe 10 feet from you. He's in the kelp. He's in the kelp. He's a kelp. Gingem fruck more like gingem kelp. Am I right? Oh my God. Put that in the best of montage.
01:44:03
Speaker
And how are the rest of the crew looking? ah There's a few dead. There's on this on this side, at least there's a few dead. There are a few that are fighting back. It seems like with your efforts, the crew is kind of starting to take control of the fight. The largest of the creatures has disappeared.
01:44:18
Speaker
And just for your context, folks at home um and my folks right here, the thing that was leading this spiders was maybe seven. maybe eight feet tall, like it was big, this toad creature would have towered above it by several feet. Oh my gosh. It is you massive.
01:44:33
Speaker
And the original sea creature has disappeared. It's gone back into the ocean. It is. Yeah. It is divin, it doven. It dove beneath, it divin beneath them. dived it.
01:44:44
Speaker
It dived the dived down below to kelp. To kelp. This is a fun little jokey moment. And in five minutes when Fauna Lynn dies, going to be like, what were we thinking? She should have dived it off.
01:44:55
Speaker
Should have dived it off. Is there anything I can pick up to use as a weapon? Sure. We'll say as you're running past, there is a but a machete that one of the crew members that has fallen was using to try and carve the ship out from the kelp.
01:45:11
Speaker
And you run and you grab that. And the spiders around you are going to get an opportunity attack. But...
01:45:20
Speaker
And they miss. But they get a nat 20. That's what? but let A spider bites you on the eyeball, I guess. On eyeball? Can I use um Hellish Rebuke on an opportunity attack as my reaction?
01:45:34
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you could. Let me do the damage for that, and then you can do that. So, Clay, you will take four piercing damage right to the eye. Yeah, damn. And constitution saving throw. Oh my god, Clay's like canonically blind in one eye now. ah Clay with an eye patch would go kind of hard. Whoa, actually though. 19 on the clock. 19. Okay, again, despite it basically climbing into your retina, no poison damage.
01:46:02
Speaker
Wow. So Clay, you get bit and you get mad and you hellish rebuke. And is that a save on their part? It's a dex 13 save. save They will fail. And they take 2d10.
01:46:14
Speaker
I rolled a 10 on one and a 2 on the other. love Amazing. You lash out and this wave of fire just bursts out from you and completely envelops any of the spiders on or around you, wiping them out.
01:46:28
Speaker
And you start running and it is it is difficult terrain, but you managed to, I'd say, just get to the ship and next turn you can climb aboard. Okay, can i yell one thing as the last thing I do on my turn?
01:46:38
Speaker
I want to yell to Glimki to like kick the end of the rope back down to me. Oh yeah. Okay. The cast and crew, the crew and passengers are going to continue to fight and there they're largely okay. I mean, the giant spiders are gone. There's some swarms.
01:46:56
Speaker
Now that they're no longer surprised and overwhelmed, they're able to help each other. Zhenjim is looking swollen and there's these dark pulses of poison beneath the skin kind of pouring through his veins.
01:47:08
Speaker
Ruckus, he should have died, frankly, but he's he's alive with one HP. Gotta love being a half-orc. And Tucker pops up from beneath the kelp holding the head of the spider shepherd.
01:47:20
Speaker
And you really haven't had chance to talk to Tucker, but you don't like the look in his eyes. He hoists that thing up there. And you, the the crew seems to have the advantage.
01:47:32
Speaker
And we will say that collectively, they managed to eliminate the remaining spiders, at least to such a degree that they are no longer a threat. Okay. So we go to Faunolin.
01:47:45
Speaker
Yay. The ship sways beneath you. You manage to hold your balance, but it is not comfortable. You are precariously balanced out there and this creature is advancing. Cool. Is it on the prow thingy with me?
01:47:59
Speaker
Yes. Just sort hunched there like a gargoyle. So if I threw my Molotov cocktail, for example, at its feet, I'm going to throw my Molotov cocktail at its feet. i don't know why I'm strategizing about it.
01:48:11
Speaker
Well, well, well, that's a natural 20. No way. Yup. That's what I'm saying. Okay. It catches on fire and will start to burn at the start of its turn.
01:48:22
Speaker
Yet again, i have escalated the threat from beast to beast on fire. i'm going to take a few steps back and i think do that thing that happens in movies where the hero finds their foot kind of at the edge because foot slips off and they realize there's no room left behind them. And I am going to glance beneath me. What are we looking at?
01:48:45
Speaker
You're looking at a ah mess of kelp and water. How far below though? 20-ish feet. Hard to tell in the dark. Okay. And how far away is this magic rope?
01:48:57
Speaker
Far, like half the ship's legs. More than 60 feet. I'd say so. the the ship is 120 feet along. I mean, it's not like a linear line. There's like things around. Probably, That makes sense. Yeah. um This is a big ship.
01:49:09
Speaker
You might look in the rule book and see sailing ship is like 20 by 80 feet or something like that. This one's bigger than that. This one's bigger. I've thought a lot about how big this ship is and I settled on the fact that it's big. It's luxury.
01:49:20
Speaker
It's big boat. It's a big boat. This world has a cartoonish energy and cartoons have big boats and small boats. No one cares about a medium boat. Okay, well, I'm getting desperate, so I'm perusing my inventory, but of course I don't have anything with me. I came out in my pajamas in the spirit of goodwill and friendship.
01:49:37
Speaker
The last time I do that, Zach, take notes. Cool. I look between the water beneath me and the beast ahead of me, and it's just gonna follow me into the water. I lit it on fire, and then it won't be on fire anymore. But shit, i don't want to be in the water.
01:49:52
Speaker
You got this. I'm just trying to just trying to think. physics like From a physics perspective, is there anything I can do here? Run under his legs. Catapult over his head.
01:50:04
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I'm gonna try. i like that I lit it on fire before For this next trip. Yeah, exactly. Just to really wow the crowd. No, I think I just have to step back into the water. Okay, I am going to take one step back and plummet into the water.
01:50:21
Speaker
with greater speed than you could have anticipated. oh shit. A hefty arm with these ridiculously long claws comes lashing out at you. Oh my lord. Does a 13 hit. It does not. Whoa.
01:50:36
Speaker
With the smallest of margins, this claw slashes out at you, barely missing, and you plummet back onto the kelp. And it cushions you, and salt water kicks up in a cloud around you. You get some in your eyes and in your nose.
01:50:51
Speaker
You sputter a bit, and then pull yourself to your feet. It is uncomfortable to walk on. The hems of your Dickensian nightgown are getting soaked, but you are you are untouched by this attack.
01:51:03
Speaker
Okay. This burning toad standing upon the prow looking down at you, hungry. I would like to bonus action, Okay.
01:51:14
Speaker
And what I want to do is I want to like crouch down. and kind of like crawl while watching it towards a deeper part that I can see where there's less vines. And I want to like submerge myself frog style amidst the vines.
01:51:32
Speaker
Meanwhile, readying the dagger that I have with me. Give me a stealth roll. That's going to be 23. will say you step underneath the prow and as you do, it carries you temporarily out of sight of the creature. And if you carried forward, it would undoubtedly just turn its head and see you.
01:51:47
Speaker
But you find an opening and you duck down into the, into the kelp holding on, but barely visible from, from above. Just like the tip of your head and your nose poking out. And, uh, you are for the time being hidden.
01:52:01
Speaker
This is scary, Zach. This was a random encounter. I'll never tell. I'll tell later. Okay. to Glimke. Yes, sir. It is your turn. You are standing aboard the deck of the ship.
01:52:15
Speaker
You yell at the magic rope and it unties itself from you. And there is a toad past you, behind you, staring off the edge of the ship. There's this portal in the air. And past that, there is this large man guarding a set of stairs down below decks.
01:52:31
Speaker
Okay, wait, sorry. It's the only like big bad that can see me right now is the one guarding the door. I'd say so. Yeah, I think the toad is aware of you, but seems very interested in stalking Faunal in at the moment.
01:52:43
Speaker
Right. And yeah, this guy is like not like squaring up to you, but he's clearly aware of you. Oh, man. Man, I wish I had my armor on.
01:52:55
Speaker
And just to make sure we keep selling it, the sails are burning above you. Pieces of burning rope are falling um around you. It was dark before. The ship is now a beacon in the dark. Okay, want to untie the rope then.
01:53:07
Speaker
Sure. Or I guess unfurl it off the side for clay. Sure. Thank you. Quick look. Where is the portal? Like, is it floating in the air or is it just like above the deck? Like...
01:53:21
Speaker
It's, yeah, like, not, like, far. Like, it does not seem to be, like, a physical thing. It is, but it's maybe, like, an inch or two above the deck of the ship, and the ship is rocking, and it sort of is just stagnant in place, just unmoving, stationary sitting there.
01:53:34
Speaker
Can I reach it? Sure. i going to call out to Clay and say, if they're on our ship, then who's on theirs? And I'm going to start running towards the portal. Oh,
01:53:48
Speaker
oh my god Oh, hell yes. And see if it I can pass through it or not. have no idea if this is going to work. Great idea though, regardless. You go running, sword and makeshift shield drawn, and you just run through the portal.
01:54:02
Speaker
You don't give yourself a chance to stop and think about what might be on the other side. And there is a sudden twisting in your stomach as if time and space bend and you stumble out onto the deck of a smaller ship.
01:54:14
Speaker
A smaller ship? Suckers. It's got dark sails. It is this dark wood. It is clearly weathered. the There's been very obvious repairs recently. These dark sails that are drawn up and you see it rocking. It is rocking in the sea and perhaps 400 feet away. You see the beacon of fire that is the vigilant.
01:54:36
Speaker
Okay, I can see it. Can I still see the portal on this side? You look behind you and there is another portal. You cannot see through it, you cannot see the deck of the Vigilant through this, it is just swirling mist, but there is another face of this portal from where you are standing.
01:54:50
Speaker
Okay, before the end of my turn, what can I see? Like, just at a glance here, the first thing is, like, what's on the deck? Can I, is there cannons? Can I presume there's a, where's the way down onto the lower deck?
01:55:04
Speaker
There is two doors that, based off your experience, presumably lead below deck, presumably to different areas of the ship.
01:55:15
Speaker
as well as a harpoon we'll say it almost looks like a either a giant crossbow or like a small ballista upon the prow of this ship with a large harpoon attached to a rope and i would say near the back of this ship it's not it's much smaller than the vigilant as i said you see just this pile of rags and rope and you smell something just like it smells rotten coming from that direction it does not smell good from like in addition or like with just the ballista can i see any signs that there's cannons on board or is that something that i would assume that like even a small ship would be armed with there do not appear to be any cannons just this ballista
01:56:04
Speaker
Okay, I'm gonna try run below deck in a sec here, but that'll probably be next turn. I'd say you've used like 20, maybe 25 feet of movement. So like... and That's all my movement. You could you could dash.
01:56:15
Speaker
It didn't take an action to go through the portal or anything. Oh, true. Okay, let me dash. I want to try and get to the... If there's a way to see below deck, I want to see. Sure. ah There's these two doors. So you just, we'll say you grab one at random and you tear it open and you see a set of stairs leading below deck and you run down and you find yourself in a dark windowless room.
01:56:36
Speaker
It is leaky. There's a couple of rats that scurry out of sight as soon as you step down there. And at the back of this room is a large black metal cage with a bucket inside a a little pile of scrap fabric and it appears to be a ah brig of some sort. Okay.
01:56:57
Speaker
i don't see any barrels of black powder. Uh, no. Damn it. is this Is this boat small enough where this would... Would I be able to tell if this is like the bottom of the ship? Like, is there more to go?
01:57:13
Speaker
Or like, would presumably like after these boards, it's ocean. shit Presumably after these boards, it's ocean. Okay. Okay. I'm going investigate some more, but I think that's all I i have.
01:57:26
Speaker
Okay. We'll say you start to turn, but that is the end of your turn. Okay. Nobody really can see either of these two men, so I won't narrate what happens, but... They do stuff and we go to the creature.
01:57:42
Speaker
Shannon, I have a hard question for you that I should have written down. What was your dexterity, like your stealth check from last turn? Do you remember? you don't know this, but the creature takes one fire damage from your Molotov, but it is resistant to fire.
01:58:00
Speaker
So I'm going to say it still takes one fire damage. I don't know. i'm fever Maybe i'm supposed to round down, but I'm going to say it takes one fire damage. Oh, that's generous. You're you're a kind DM. Yeah. Many have said that, not just me.
01:58:12
Speaker
Learning that it's fire resistant is big. That's helpful to know considering historically how much of my strategy involves fire. As a group, we tend to set a lot of things on fire.
01:58:26
Speaker
We really do. There is a cannonball that lands in the water near you. A spray of water, a wave kicks up. And as the spray clears, you see this creature.
01:58:36
Speaker
looking for you It searches these large nostrils, each big enough to fit a teacup in, down by the ground.
01:58:48
Speaker
Oh God. But it does not appear to have found you. You are masked by the water and the kelp and the smell of the ocean, the sound of distant combat still raging on, and you remain hidden for the time being.
01:59:03
Speaker
You see that it is still on fire, but it does not appear to have been severely damaged, if at all, by that. Okay. The spiders are gone and we go to Clay's turn.
01:59:15
Speaker
So where is everyone in relation to me? Fondalyn's hidden somewhere. Can I see her? You, i will say, did not see her.
01:59:27
Speaker
You do hear a large splash. Okay. But you do not see the cause of that noise. Okay, I didn't see Fondolin jump off either. No. And I'd say amongst all the noise ah both the ocean and this combat that's still raging off on the other side of the ship and like the burning of the ship, yeah, you would not have even like really noticed her, the sound of her jumping off.
01:59:48
Speaker
Okay, then I will like to grab the rope and climb. Okay. Where's the rope? I will say you call out to it and it slithers forth and you grab it and it just kind of gives you like a little yank and you go flying up. We're really stretching the limits of all the rope of climbing does, but you grab onto it and it launches you up onto the deck of the ship and we'll say you still have half your movement.
02:00:11
Speaker
Okay. What do I see now that I'm on the deck? You step up onto the deck of the ship. You see that there is no longer Faunolin nor this large creature at the one end.
02:00:22
Speaker
That's worrying. And you see that there is a... i will say you see the impression of a boot disappearing through this portal that has appeared in space, this swirling cloud. And you see this dark boot and a heavy cloak disappear into the mist.
02:00:40
Speaker
Okay. So I don't know where anyone is now. I can't see Gloomkey or Fawnalyn. Can I see that guy guarding the stairs? The weird guy? Is he still there? There's no one guarding the stairs.
02:00:52
Speaker
Oh, there's no one anywhere on deck? There's some crew members that are running around trying to put out the fire, but beyond that, not not too much. Ooh, okay, wait, I think Clay having seen that red creature, i don't know if she would have made the connection between that and the the guy we found in the ocean story. in such a short time. Okay. Because I want her to run below Dex, but I feel like she wouldn't.
02:01:22
Speaker
I think she's going to go for the portal because that's the most interesting thing in front of her. All right. so Clay, you, with the last of your movement, go running through this portal and you find yourself suddenly lurched through space And you catch yourself kind of like land on one knee and then pull yourself back up to your feet.
02:01:41
Speaker
And you see that there is a large man with this eight pointed star mask sort of making his way towards an open door leading below decks. But as you step forward, he hears you tumble onto the deck and he turns to face you, long sword and short sword drawn.
02:01:57
Speaker
And he says, you're not supposed to be here. And he's going to turn to attack you. Oh shit. You have an action still and if you want.
02:02:09
Speaker
How far is he from me? Maybe 10 feet away. It's not a big ship. Do I have enough movement to run up to him? left I'd say so. I'd say with the help of the magic rope, it helped kind of, we'll say if you use your bonus action to like activate the magic rope, it like helped pull you up a little faster. So you still have a few feet of movement.
02:02:25
Speaker
Okay, cool. I will say to him, why did you attack our ship? Where are my friends? And then I'm going to run up and try to stab him with the machete. Okay.
02:02:36
Speaker
Give me, give me an attack roll. What is this? Plus anything? We'll call this a simple weapon. So you'd be proficient with it. Cool. Cause I rolled an 18. We'll say it like does a D4. No, no, we'll say it's a D6. It's like a, can do like a hand ax.
02:02:50
Speaker
So do D6 plus your strength. Ooh, that's not bad. rolled a five on the dice and my strength plus one. He takes six damage and he sort of reacts, but really not that much. He kind of just grunts ever so slightly as this machete slices into him and he advances upon you.
02:03:14
Speaker
We cut back to the waters surrounding the Vigilant. Fondelin, you are immersed in kelp. There is a gigantic toad searching for you.
02:03:26
Speaker
What do you do? I think I'm going to have to sneak attack the the thingy, the toad. Specifically, i want to stay away from those big claws. So I'm going to try to, I'm going to die today, guys. I'm going try to swim a little closer and My plan here is to stab it as high up as I can on the shoulder or side, whatever I can reach, and then use that cold to hold to pull my body onto it so that it can't scratch me with its claws because I am holding onto its back vis-a-vis the dagger I've implanted.
02:04:01
Speaker
Interesting. Okay. I should get a sneak attack bonus because I'm hiding. We'll deal with all the implications of that as we come to them. Start off by giving me an attack roll with advantage, because you are currently hidden.
02:04:15
Speaker
Yeah, ah that was a 19 and an 18, plus whatever I get for my dagger. That'll hit. That's 16 damage. 16 damage. sixteen damage You swim through the water, pull yourself up onto the kelp, charge the creature while its back is turned to you, jump up into the air, driving this dagger into it.
02:04:34
Speaker
really It yells out in frustration and you pull yourself up onto it, suspended there for the time being. Yeah, i I mean, with whatever economy left you want to give me, I just want to hunker down around this thing and latch on as best as I possibly can.
02:04:51
Speaker
Yeah, I'll say free action to hunker and thank you we'll end your turn. Glimke. Yes, sir. You are below decks and I will say you hear the sound of boots above you.
02:05:02
Speaker
Yes. Multiple pairs. Before I do anything, can I scoot over like closer to the to the cage? What do I see down here? It's just random stuff like black iron rot cage. Like what?
02:05:16
Speaker
That's it. The cage occupies about half of the room. It's a pretty small space. There's detritus. There's a ah bucket that you see is full with excrement and you see some stained blood on the floor.
02:05:30
Speaker
i good. Beyond that, there's not really much. There's like a few a few crates or barrels, but it doesn't it appears the primary purpose is that of a prison or a brig, if you will.
02:05:44
Speaker
Got it. Okay, well, I would like to take my action to hide then somewhere close to one of the doors. Okay. You slide up next to the door. Could I get a stealth roll from you, please?
02:05:56
Speaker
Oh, let's go, dude. 19.
02:05:59
Speaker
You hunker down, sword drawn, waiting for one of the sets of boots to come downstairs. Mm-hmm. That's it. Clay, the man with eight-pointed star mask is going to advance towards you, and he is going to make a series of attacks.
02:06:15
Speaker
I'll just tell you now, my AC is 10. That makes sense. Yeah. And he rolled a 10 on the die with his first attack before any additions, but, and then he's going to expend a superiority die to make a disarming attack. wow So that'll be that.
02:06:34
Speaker
And you add the superiority die to the damage of the attack. So clay, Ooh, he rolled low. You are going to take a seven slashing damage.
02:06:46
Speaker
ah huh And I need you to make a strength saving throw. 16. sixteen 16. Okay. he advances towards you, long sword drawn, and he slaps at your hand that is holding this ah this machete that you attacked him with, and you take seven slashing damage, and he kind of cuts along your arm, trying to knock this this weapon out from your your hand, and you hold on tight.
02:07:15
Speaker
He is then going to make a second attack against you with this long sword. Second attack. which will hit with a 25. My gosh. like god You take an additional six slashing damage.
02:07:29
Speaker
And then he is going to make a third attack with the short sword in his other hand. God damn. And that'll be 12 to hit. hu And I think this will be What kills me?
02:07:42
Speaker
Yeah. Possibly. I think he'll make a menacing attack. And you watch as he slashes at you twice and then stabs at you with this third attack. The star mask seems to grow large in your vision and it seems to twist in a way that makes you profoundly uncomfortable. And you will take an additional 11 piercing damage.
02:08:04
Speaker
I had 11 HP left. And before you have a chance to feel the fear from this menacing attack, you fall unconscious. ah Glimke, you hear a thump aboard deck as if something... Wait, are we on the same boat?
02:08:20
Speaker
You don't know. Clay, I say this with all due respect, something heavy dropping onto the deck of the ship, a small clatter of a weapon being dropped, and we shall go...
02:08:31
Speaker
to the toad-like creature with Faunlan hanging off of its back. Faunlan, I'm going to say it is going to make its attacks with disadvantage as it attempts to claw at you over its shoulders and it's kind of just swinging you around. It's not trying to dislodge you.
02:08:46
Speaker
But I will note at the start of his turn, it takes an additional D4 fire damage. So it takes three fire damage. Wow. It's on fire still? Yeah, it has to take an action to put it. oh Well, I'm sitting on it. So how does it ah how does that work with me?
02:09:00
Speaker
Don't worry about it. You die. Thanks for asking. Fanon, this dagger that is embedded in its shoulders, you watch as the wound that is pulsating and bleeding this thick, dark blood begins to close up.
02:09:15
Speaker
And about half of the total damage you have done to this creature is erased. What the fudge? I'm going to do something messed up next turn. You've given me a grotesque idea. And it's going to attack you twice with its claws with disadvantage.
02:09:31
Speaker
Does 16 hit? Sure does. You will take eight piercing damage and I need you to make a constitution saving throw. I heard the eight damage and I was like, it's not that big of a deal.
02:09:44
Speaker
That's fine. And I was just dreading to hear and
02:09:50
Speaker
That's 19. Amazing. This claw rakes across you and you have sudden images of Antoine below deck, but you feel fine and you don't have long to reflect on your condition as a second claw reaches over its shoulder slashing at you.
02:10:05
Speaker
Oh my God. For an 18 to hit. Yeah, because that's bigger than 16. And you take an additional 11 piercing damage. Yeah. And I need you to make another constitution saving throw.
02:10:17
Speaker
Why did we get on these boats? keep ekaa Why did we get on this boat? hate boats. This is why it took us so long to get on the boat. That's a 17. I mean, an 18. Again, you feel fine, you think. hu But there's these two massive claws tearing your Dickensian nightgown as these claws just rip into your back and you hold on, but you feel just blood start to leak out from your back.
02:10:45
Speaker
We go next to... Clay, I need a death safe, please. Sure. There's nobody there to help them.
02:10:56
Speaker
Oh my God, Zach. I will walk next door and kick your ass in real life if you hurt Clay. I rolled a three, so.
02:11:07
Speaker
Oh no. Oh no. Rima! I am transferring my good luck to you. My dice juju, I am transferring it to you. have it now.
02:11:18
Speaker
Glimki, can you stop faffing about on the enemy ship and come back and do some paladin shit? No. I hope you're having a nice evening cruise. Yeah. Well, speaking of Glimki, it is Faunelin's turn.
02:11:31
Speaker
I can't, i I don't think I can see anything that's happening above deck. Oh, definitely. And for what it's worth, this is on a deck 400 feet away ah you know do something gross because this is bard soup and sometimes it's all fun and games and then somebody gets a hole punch through them. This time I'm gonna do the punching.
02:11:45
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna say Elven education system is pretty good. Fonnellyn grew up rich. She has at least a rudimentary understanding of the... cervical vertebra and their function. And um she's going to watch the flesh of this creature almost seal up around the dagger. And she's going to get she's going to get an adrenaline-fueled idea. She's going to rip out this dagger and cut into, stab with all of her might, cut into the flesh above the spinal column, sort of between the shoulder blades.
02:12:18
Speaker
and she's going to carve a jagged path, assuming she succeeds. I'll cringe if she doesn't. Should we just roll it there? Because I don't want to get too far into this plot if I'm just going to fail. Yeah.
02:12:29
Speaker
Okay, cool. That's that. I did transfer my dice juju, but I think I still have a little left because that is a 18. eighteen i got a 12 plus six. So that's an 18 to hit. 18 will do it.
02:12:40
Speaker
Yes. Okay. And then what I want to do, i assume that dealt damage. So I'm going to, I don't think I get sneak attack on though, because I'm like on it. Technically, no. So it just be a regular attack as you slide down its back.
02:12:52
Speaker
That's going to be, I rolled a four on my D4. So that's going to be eight damage. What I really want to do. oh but shit. Okay. Maybe none of that matters because the point of this was not to deal damage.
02:13:04
Speaker
The point was to essentially take the grapple action, but to do so from within the creature, because I don't think just, I'm just imagining it. I don't think. You already took an attack. If Fondalyn... Just forget the attack!
02:13:17
Speaker
Let's say it's cool and skinning it because what I wanted Fondalyn to do was shove her arm into the hole that she creates between its shoulder blades and seize its spinal column and attempt to have effectively grasp the nerves there and disable its arms from grasping her by plunging her arm up to the wrist or the elbow, however deep, until she reaches spine and puppet mastering this thing. That's how anatomy works, right? Keep talking, yeah, keep talking. I like how the more elaborate it gets, the more chances I think he's gonna let it happen.
02:13:47
Speaker
Yes, yes. I want you to know I'm your biggest fan. Biggest fan. The whole world. Not even just the show in life. well Absolutely the fuck not. You make a cut in it for sure, but it is not cutting it to its spine. This thing is thick and it is meaty and it has thick layers of muscle. You do some damage.
02:14:05
Speaker
You do some damage for sure, but you do not you cut this creature to the bone and puppet it damage. Respectfully. You're telling me, you're telling me, you're telling me that if you're riding a creature and you make a hole and you use your whole strength to shove your fingers and your hand into the muscles and you work around them there, you're telling me you can't reach bone?
02:14:27
Speaker
I'm saying you with a minus one strength definitely cannot. It would be like tearing apart steak. You know what I mean? It'd be like, it'd be like getting at a brisket. That'd hard. It'd be very hard. Very tough steak. I just knifed it though. Oh my God.
02:14:40
Speaker
This is not a prime cut, apparently. Fondalyn's not used to such things. Okay, fine. I won't do the coolest, nastiest thing ever. I'll just die with a whimper on top of this messed up organism that you've concocted. I'm not done. I get a bonus action. i don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I'm going to try to do something annoying because Fondalyn's last move on this earth is going to be something that perplexes the DM. Okay.
02:15:03
Speaker
Do I still have any alcohol on my person? You look around and you see one bottle that fell with you when you jumped off the ship. Bingo. I use my long legs to kind of like, I use my foot and I kind of kick it into the air in a splash of water because I'm still holding onto this beast with my arms.
02:15:20
Speaker
And I kept with one hand and I take the bottle and I stab it open-ended neck first into the wound that I've created because I think that if a tampon soaked in vodka can get you really messed up, then a bottle of vodka or rum or whatever pirates drink straight to the spine should mess you up even worse.
02:15:41
Speaker
That's interesting. It'll sting at least. Oh, thank Yeah, it'll sting at least. Pouring salt on the wound. Yeah, I think you'd disinfect its wound. No! It grimaces. And you know what? Because I'm a nice guy, we'll say the flames kick up for a second, dealing an additional two fire damage. Wow. In my face also, assume. Hell yeah. oh Your eyebrows get singed off.
02:15:58
Speaker
right No! know you someone anyway. Oh, God. I'm like sweating in real life, guys. If Clay dies today, i'm worried.
02:16:11
Speaker
All right, funneling anything else. I wanna know what happens when I pour alcohol onto an exposed spine. Again, it's not an exposed spine. This is a big creature. You stab it, you make a gash in it. It's a big cut.
02:16:25
Speaker
As you look, it's already starting to stitch itself shut, but you didn't do any stabbing damage. come Around the bottle? Yeah. ah Gross. Ew. Between the fire and the stab, you've undone its healing.
02:16:37
Speaker
Wow. Sick. Wow. Net zero. Where's the show, Zack? Where's the show when you killed Tass? The show's here. gonna be Glimki's sailing off into the distance on a stolen ship. Grimki didn't know that Clay was upstairs. Now I feel bad. Clay doesn't even know Glimki's downstairs. Clay doesn't know any anything.
02:16:58
Speaker
So, Faunolin, anything else? Anything else Yeah. I don't know. I'm feeling generous. i start praying. I'm listing all the gods. i'm like, Glimki's god, Glimki's other god, the god Glimki cheated on his first god with, uh, the fast god, the mean god, the dead god, any god, me god.
02:17:18
Speaker
Do me a solid it here, man. Is Annalyn suddenly a religious person? You start praying and Glimke, you are perched below deck of this ship.
02:17:30
Speaker
No one has seemingly come downstairs since that clatter above. God damn it. I don't want to go up. I'm still hidden, right? Let me creep up the stairs and take a peek. What can I see?
02:17:43
Speaker
Okay. I'm going to say I would want another stealth check as you move locations. Oh, rolled an 18 again, 19. Okay. okay You know what that means, if I'm gonna have to attack soon, it's not gonna be good.
02:17:54
Speaker
You creep up the stairs as quietly, but as quickly as you can, and you see this individual with the eight-pointed star mask leaned down over top of Clay Campbell, and you watch as this individual picks them up and starts moving towards the edge of the ship. No, no, no, no,
02:18:12
Speaker
no no no gloom he's in shock because he sees clay here on the boat oh man what from four hundred feet away you hear ah fro i'm glad you still have jokes Oh man, this is tough. I'm trying to, similar to Funnel in here, Glunkie's kind of trying to run through all of the options that he has.
02:18:38
Speaker
His head, everything at his disposal. What are the he's like doing math math and there's equations flashing through his brain of like how many steps he can take and pivots and slashing points.
02:18:54
Speaker
Would just question mark for temp HP, that would not bring somebody back up with it. I don't think it does yet. Okay, so scratching that option off.
02:19:06
Speaker
oh man okay okay i have there is an idea forming it's just about the order of things that i can do okay okay glimki is going to stand up and run at clay and this creature he's going to use his channel divinity to use nature's wrath but I'm going to target clay.
02:19:33
Speaker
So i a creature must succeed on a dex or strength saving throw, but you can't. So you should fail automatically, and I should entrap you in vines so you cannot be thrown overboard.
02:19:46
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not contesting this, so I'm dead. i think that sounds amazing. You lash out and I'll say, like Spider-Man swinging in and webbing a guy to a wall. This man is picking up clay. This person's picking up clay and suddenly vines spring out from the rotting boards on the deck of the ship and just lash around them and draw them back down onto the deck.
02:20:08
Speaker
And he kind of grunts in surprise and goes to stand up. Okay. Now he's going to, I'm going to, if I can, i want to close the gap. Like I want to try to get within five feet of clay.
02:20:19
Speaker
and Yeah. hundred percent. Easy. Okay. Glimki essentially stands over the like collection of vines with his little makeshift shield. And that's pretty much it for this turn.
02:20:30
Speaker
Okay. Fawnelin is on the water. Clay and Glimki are fighting with this person. You still don't know what became of the more slender individual. This second man, though, is going to turn to you, Glimki.
02:20:44
Speaker
and he is going to attack you. Yeah. Swords drawn and he steps forward. He is limping. As I mentioned, there's this like discomfort in his movement. He doesn't move very fluidly, at least from the waist down, but he moves his arms with a grace and fluidity that you imagine is only capable by those who spent a lifetime practicing with their swords, with their weapons.
02:21:12
Speaker
He's gonna attack you with his long sword. Does a 18 hit. yeah He is going to spend a superiority die to do a tripping attack. nice You take 13 slashing damage.
02:21:27
Speaker
yeah And I need you to make a strength saving throw. easy nineteen 19. Okay. He slashes at your leg, trying to knock you over, but you managed to hold your balance and he's going to make a second attack. He is going to sidle alongside you. hu He's going to try and position himself. So you are between him and the railing, and he's going to make an additional attack, which will be 18 to hit.
02:21:50
Speaker
Yeah. And yeah he is going to make a pushing attack. u hu You will take an additional eight slashing damage. hu Yeah. Easy.
02:22:02
Speaker
and I need you to make another strength saving throw.
Desperate Struggles and Escapes
02:22:05
Speaker
ah No problem. ten 10. Yeet it overboard. You are shoved 15 feet back as this blade slashes across your chest. And suddenly he twists his hand and just pushes you with the base of his hand, like with the hill to the sword.
02:22:19
Speaker
And you go flying 15 feet back, tumbling over the edge and find yourself sputtering in the ocean. It is cold, it is disorienting, and you kick yourself to the surface. And you see with his third attack, he is going to cut the vines that are holding clay and attempt to once again, dislodge them.
02:22:39
Speaker
I'm going to say he can make like a strength saving throw or like a strength a check to try and pull clay free. So he would have rolled a 20 on that. And with a full motion, he takes the short sword and he flips it around in his hand and just drags it along the vines, slicing them open and goes to pick up clay once more.
02:23:00
Speaker
That is his turn. Fonelin, the creature, you watch as this bottle that is embedded into its back begins to, it begins to wiggle. It begins to writhe and you watch as the wound seals shut and the bottle just comes toppling out of its back, landing on the ground, plunging into the into the kelp and slowly disappearing from view.
02:23:20
Speaker
It is going to turn to face you. Am I not on it still? I thought you slid down his back, if you recall, famously. No, yeah yeah no, no. Famously, no, no, no. Famously, you went.
02:23:32
Speaker
Oh no, I was just trying to carve it open so I could plunge a fist in. I wasn't sliding down his back. was trying to make a hole. right, you're still on his back. It is going to attack you with disadvantage. Once again, clawing over its shoulders.
02:23:43
Speaker
That's not gonna hit, that's a 10. And that is a nine as it is clawing at you. You are managing to avoid it. It does not seem to be able to hit you at this moment, but it is healing as fast as you are damaging it. And that is its turn.
02:24:00
Speaker
Clay. Oh God. Could I have another death saving throw, please? Here we go.
02:24:08
Speaker
rolled a five. Oh, thank God. That's still better than what I was expecting. Better than what I was expecting to. She's not dead dead, but she's getting there. She's getting there.
02:24:23
Speaker
Fonelin, it is your turn. I thought today was going to fun bonus episode because we're virtual we're recording tomorrow, but it looks like we're just recording today. Are we recording tomorrow if we die? i guess tomorrow's just like a new pilot.
02:24:38
Speaker
It's like character creation or something. That's so fun. It's okay. Clay deserves this. She kidnapped a princess. It's all her fault.
02:24:48
Speaker
Clay deserves it? Self-loathing. like
02:24:54
Speaker
It's called acceptance, which is one of the stages of grief, Zach. We wrote a movie about this. I guess so. speedrunning the grief. For tomorrow's action. I'm still in anger.
02:25:07
Speaker
I'm in denial. Yeah. I want to look around. Is there, what is the easiest way for me to get off, like out of the water? at a time like this?
02:25:20
Speaker
We're in the boat. I want to die happy! Okay. oh What is the fastest way to get out of the water onto the boat?
02:25:32
Speaker
The rope, the rope's still hanging there. There's a rope hanging maybe 60 feet away. No one's doing anything with the rope right now. Nope. It's just hanging there. Okay. I see the rope. I'm going to scream a slither forth magic rope.
02:25:45
Speaker
Does it respond to my command or do I have to be touching it? ah No, if you hold one end of the rope and use an action to speed the command where the rope animates. Shit. Damn, okay, Zack is gleeful. I wish the audience, I wish this was a video show. not going to follow. that the audience could see you've got a glint in your eye. You have a sinister glint in your eye.
02:26:03
Speaker
yeah doesn't even deny it. Okay, I'm gonna watch this happen, realize that I'm raging against something that I cannot rage against.
02:26:13
Speaker
So I am going to withdraw my dagger yet again and take a deep breath and dive into the darkness, dive into the dark water. Nice. okay could swim 400 feet to the other boat.
02:26:27
Speaker
so Yes. So bonus action, dash. So as you jump off this creature's back and sprint away, diving down into the water, it's going to make one more opportunity attack against you. Fuck off. Literally, literally, just thinking that.
02:26:44
Speaker
That was a 21 hit. No, actually. Yeah, fact it does. Yeah, no. Yeah, unfortunately. Today it does. You take 10 piercing damage. Okay, um, yeah, I'm, as they say, depleted of health.
02:26:58
Speaker
Oh god. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's fine, we're good, we're good, we're good, we're good. We're so good, we're so great. It's fine, it's fine. This is easy mode. Can i have a constitution saving pro?
02:27:10
Speaker
Well, my flaccid corpse doesn't have a ton of constitution, that's an eight. Okay. Unconscious though I am, i'm not feeling particularly constitutional. You dive off this creature and with more speed once again than you're expecting, it spins around and just claws out, catches you, piercing through you, and begins to draw you up towards its maw.
02:27:33
Speaker
Holy shit, Zach. oh Like this? Like this? Like this? Glimki, you are floating in the water, maybe 10 feet from the ship.
02:27:44
Speaker
What do you want to do? ah Can I just wait five seconds to see what happens? want to hold my turn. Yeah. Is there a specific action you want to hold?
02:27:56
Speaker
Cut clay when she's thrown into the ocean. Um, yeah, i want to put my hands out in case if something gets tossed over towards me. Sure. Uh, you wait.
02:28:09
Speaker
Fonelin. you You are suspended in the air. Claws piercing you, holding you up. You smell decay wafting from this creature's mouth.
02:28:21
Speaker
Hot air washes over your face. It begins to raise you up towards its jaws. This long tongue flickers out and scrapes along these fangs, each one longer than a finger.
02:28:35
Speaker
And as it brings you up to consume you, it suddenly straightens up and drops your body onto the kelp. And you watch with great strength as it just jumps up onto the ship in a single bound, pulls itself aboard and leaves you there.
02:28:51
Speaker
Glimki, in the water, floating there. You watch a figure step through this portal. They are slender, perhaps as tall as Faunalyn,
Aftermath and Recovery
02:29:01
Speaker
with a silver metal mask.
02:29:04
Speaker
You saw them before as they boarded the ship. They carry no weapon, but tucked underneath their arm is, you're not entirely sure what it is, but it appears to be a large glass cube with a metal core similar to the color of his mask.
02:29:18
Speaker
He looks at the larger man, hunched over clay, and says, what are you doing? Hurry up. The man takes Clay's body, tosses it into the water. well And a second later, you watch as the large toad-like creature steps through, arriving on the deck, and moves past those two men, curls up on that pile of rags and scrap that you saw before near the back of the ship.
02:29:46
Speaker
almost appearing as part of the landscape, an island aboard the ship. You watch as this mist-filled circle winks out of existence, and as Clay's body begins to submerge below the water, the ship drops sail and disappears off into the night.
02:30:01
Speaker
You swim up to your friend. And? And I saved these two hit points for exactly this reason. I give cal Clay one hit point to bring him back up.
02:30:13
Speaker
Clay, there is ah smell, feeling, a familiar smell of rotten meat mixed with flour, something warm and comforting, something good that has been ruined.
02:30:25
Speaker
And as that smell fills your nose, you suddenly find yourself sputtering for air as the Elsween Sea tries to choke you out. Glimke holding you, kicking with all his might to help keep you above the waves.
02:30:37
Speaker
As off in the distance, the Vigilant burns. Oh, we can see the Vigilant. Indeed, about 400 feet away, embedded in this kelp, burning in the water. In the hours that follow, Faunilin is found and stabilized by the remaining crew.
02:30:58
Speaker
The doctor tends to her wounds and the fire with great effort is put out. The ship is severely damaged. The captain seems to think that although you are close to Kobaris, you might not make it.
02:31:16
Speaker
And even if you do, the ship is going to be stuck there for quite some time while they undergo repairs.
02:31:24
Speaker
It's several hours before anyone realizes Clay and Glimki are missing. But as they do, search parties are sent out in bro boats looking for them and any other survivors that may have been tossed aside.
02:31:40
Speaker
And eventually they find the
Reflections and Closure
02:31:41
Speaker
two of you holding on to each other, fighting to stay afloat amongst the rolling waves of the Elsween Sea. You're brought back aboard the ship.
02:31:52
Speaker
given warm blankets and a change of clothes. the Clay is also brought to the infirmary, put on a makeshift bed next to Faunalyn, along with the other survivors that are injured.
02:32:05
Speaker
Those that are dead are wrapped up and buried at sea. And as Dawn begins to coalesce above you,
02:32:19
Speaker
in the moments before the sun is reborn, before you have time to really perceive all that has taken place this night. That's where we'll stop tonight's episode of Bard Soup. What?
02:32:33
Speaker
What? Wow. What?
02:32:45
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to this extra chunky bowl of bard soup. I have been your... Villainous dungeon master Zach Meikle joined by Prima Jow as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnson as Glimky Tree Fellow, and Shannon Meikle as Faunal and Vaedark.
02:33:02
Speaker
If you're enjoying the show, leave us a five-star review, why don't you? Apple pie, Apple pie, Spotify or Apple Podcasts. And while you're at, follow us at bard underscore soup on Instagram and TikTok for some really great bonus content.
02:33:17
Speaker
And lastly, visit www.bardstoop.com for some amazing character art and good stuff on the horizon. Okay, bye.
02:33:35
Speaker
I'm like kind of glad we're playing tomorrow because what the fuck? Yeah, what the heck? Yeah, yeah. I'm like winded. That, yeah, that's tough. That was tough. I specifically saved 2 HP because I was like, this is gonna go bad.
02:33:50
Speaker
I was doing the math in my head, I'm like, he took 25 damage, but he's only healing 18. Why'd he do that? Oh, what a guy, what a guy! 2 HP, one for each of you.
02:34:02
Speaker
oh Aw. So do we have the big bad evil guy, maybe? i don't know. Those are scary. Mini arc. yeah so npr yes Princess Piracy arc? Princess.
02:34:17
Speaker
We're all going to therapy. i didn't i We need some time at the retreat. I can picture in the repair docks trying to buy this ship off the captain and be like, look, you're done.
02:34:28
Speaker
organiz but Go live your life. Find your love lover of the sea. We're taking on this boat. Yeah, we're We never should have said sail. Actually, this honestly, to be fair, our state the stake we have barely any stakes in this race. That cube means pretty much nothing to us, right?
02:34:46
Speaker
Yeah. Like, we don't really have... Savito's dead now, though. Savito and the guy we pulled out of the ocean. i don't know. Is it a trap? It was a trap this whole time. oh Oh my god. What if he was like a homing beacon and he didn't even want to be there?
02:35:03
Speaker
yeah diabolical Zachary. But then why did they, they knew that the cube was there? What the hell? ah What's going on? What's that guy? ah Was that guy actually a lycanthrope? Tell me this.
02:35:15
Speaker
What's he going to transform? the Yeah. What was the crawling thing? don't know. I'm just a guy. yeah Good voice, but you.
02:35:28
Speaker
I've changed my assessment of you. There's a, ah No cinnamon bun whatsoever in this man. I'm a cinnamon bun. I'm cinnamon bun. No, no. I don't see it.
02:35:42
Speaker
This is your You saved Gentium Frock. ah Leave a comment. Put it in the chat. Get in the comments and let us know. Do you think I should have been able to pilot a big beast? but No, no. call All of a sudden, Fondland's a fucking kaiju warrior like steps onto the deck. Like...
02:36:01
Speaker
yeah I think he should have been able to rip his spine out. Oh, so when Glimke does it to crumb titan is cool, when Bonner wants to be a titan, not so cool. here's Okay, hold on. Suspension of disbelief. Running, holding a rope.
02:36:14
Speaker
Impossible! Versus hands inside of a monster controlling it like a machine. Penny Parker comes to play. Would it cool? Hell yeah.
02:36:29
Speaker
Does it make any sense? No. I also love that like when it comes to combat, like all of our limited our characters' limited experiences just go out the window. Yeah, I'm going be this untamed monster, and I'm going to be elbow deep in giant crab meat.
02:36:49
Speaker
God bless.