Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The DeathWives: How Girls Run the (Funeral) World - Part 2
30 Plays4 years ago
Welcome to yet another episode of the Glam Reaper Podcast!
Today’s chat is the second part of host Jennifer’s insightful conversation with the Deathwives, Erin and Lauren, where they chat about all the things you (probably) never knew about the funeral world and other fun facts you don’t wanna miss! So if you missed the first one, don’t forget to tune in to that too!
In this episode, we dive into the science behind alkaline hydrolysis (a.k.a. water cremation, bio cremation, resomation, or flameless cremation).
Dying to know more about this latest innovation in the industry? Stream this eye-opening episode and let’s dig into all the details!
LITTLE NUGGETS OF GOLD:
- Alkaline hydrolysis (a.k.a. water cremation) and the science behind it
- Creating more awareness about green innovation on cremation
- Deathwives’ thoughts about composting
- All about the Deathwives and how they can help
Connect with Death Wives
Website - https://deathwives.org/about
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thedeathwives/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deathwives/
Connect with Jennifer/The Glam Reaper:
Facebook Page - Muldowney Memorials: https://www.facebook.com/MuldowneyMemorials/
Facebook Page - Rainbow Bridge Memorials: https://www.facebook.com/rainbowbridgememorialsdotcom
Instagram - @muldowneymemorials & @jennifermuldowney
Twitter - @TheGlamReaper
Email us here: glamreaperpodcast@gmail.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Glam Reaper Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Hi and welcome to the Glam Reaper podcast.
00:00:08
Speaker
I'm your host Jennifer Muldaney aka the Glam Reaper herself.
00:00:12
Speaker
Today's podcast I'm joined by two beautiful girls definitely on the glam side of the death business and they are called the death wives.
00:00:21
Speaker
Let's get
The Role of Death Wives in the Death Business
00:00:22
Speaker
into it.
00:00:22
Speaker
So tell me how much liquid do they get back?
00:00:26
Speaker
A lot.
00:00:27
Speaker
More than they can handle.
00:00:28
Speaker
Oh yeah?
00:00:30
Speaker
They can handle.
00:00:31
Speaker
I'm not sure how to give you a measurement like in fluid ounces or anything like that, but it's, I mean, it's a massive drum.
00:00:38
Speaker
It's a story high and that will hold about three bodies.
00:00:42
Speaker
So equivalent to a little more than a truck bed is it's a good estimate.
00:00:47
Speaker
So most families don't want that much.
00:00:48
Speaker
They actually work with some organic farms that will take the excess.
00:00:52
Speaker
Right.
00:00:52
Speaker
Right.
00:00:53
Speaker
Flowers at this point, non-fruit bearing things, because we're not sure society's ready for that yet.
Understanding Body Processing and Its Byproducts
00:01:00
Speaker
I know.
00:01:01
Speaker
There's no human leftover.
00:01:03
Speaker
Like there's no DNA there.
00:01:05
Speaker
It's literally fats, sugars, peptides.
00:01:08
Speaker
That's it.
00:01:09
Speaker
It's literally the breakdown of what we are.
00:01:13
Speaker
So it's not biohazardous.
00:01:14
Speaker
It's not.
00:01:15
Speaker
Absolutely not.
00:01:16
Speaker
And that's the coolest part is because we really are pretty biohistorists when we die.
00:01:22
Speaker
I mean, yeah, there's all cancerous drugs.
00:01:25
Speaker
Chemotherapy or are taking tons of, you know, painkillers or all these things.
00:01:30
Speaker
And that stays with you.
00:01:32
Speaker
And so when you go through this process, you know,
00:01:35
Speaker
it'll break everything down there's a few actually very green options that will completely get rid of all those toxins so you do have a good relationship with the earth instead of you know because i'm sure people will be fascinated with this i know it's it's out there a little bit but i know a lot of people still haven't a clue about it um and also i think there's been a lot of miscommunication because there is so many names for it and so i think the public is a little bit like wait what
00:02:05
Speaker
What does that mean?
00:02:06
Speaker
Yeah, which one?
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah, I'm like, even to be honest, even myself, I remember a couple of years ago at a convention, I was like, is this the same as that?
00:02:15
Speaker
I'm very confused.
00:02:17
Speaker
What's happening?
00:02:18
Speaker
And so, okay, so a body goes into a chamber, water, a water bath, I guess?
00:02:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:24
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:25
Speaker
One last spa treatment is a joke, you know?
00:02:29
Speaker
Right.
00:02:29
Speaker
Well, you know, if you enjoyed some in life, why not have one last one in death?
00:02:35
Speaker
And how does it get rid of all of the drugs and all of the bad?
00:02:41
Speaker
Like part of me is thinking the amount of Diet Coke I drink.
00:02:44
Speaker
Surely my body is like part Diet Coke, part wine, probably.
00:02:48
Speaker
How do we become less toxic?
00:02:50
Speaker
What happens when we're in there?
00:02:52
Speaker
That's a science question that's beyond me.
00:02:55
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:55
Speaker
That's right.
00:02:55
Speaker
I don't have to stop.
00:02:57
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:02:58
Speaker
The science part of it is like the alkaline.
Exploring Water Cremation (Alkaline Hydrolysis)
00:03:02
Speaker
So alkaline hydrolysis is the scientific term that most people will hear.
00:03:08
Speaker
They're trying to make that kind of a term, but Joe Public, like you said, they don't, what alkaline hyaluron?
00:03:16
Speaker
What is that?
00:03:17
Speaker
But they know the word cremation.
00:03:19
Speaker
And they hear water and they're like water cremation.
00:03:22
Speaker
Oh, you get so you get ashes back is what it comes down to.
00:03:26
Speaker
Technically, it's not ashes because they didn't burn, but you're getting the same kind of product.
00:03:31
Speaker
So water cremation is a little bit easier to understand.
00:03:35
Speaker
But yeah, alkaline hydrolysis is one of the terms you'll hear.
00:03:38
Speaker
that solution, however it connects to the fats in your body that breaks everything apart.
00:03:45
Speaker
So all the amino acids that have made us what we are, this solution goes in and breaks those down and breaks those apart.
00:03:52
Speaker
It's corrosive.
00:03:53
Speaker
Exactly.
00:03:55
Speaker
It's corrosive.
00:03:56
Speaker
I mean, way more than your Pepsi is, right?
00:03:59
Speaker
Like your Pepsi will clean a penny or whatever.
00:04:02
Speaker
The alkali will do it better, faster.
00:04:04
Speaker
What I love about it is that it's like literal alchemy.
00:04:08
Speaker
I love everything about the concept of alchemy.
00:04:10
Speaker
And I read the book, The Alchemist, to clients on a regular basis.
00:04:14
Speaker
And when I saw Emily's process, we have a friend who opened up a water cremation business here in Denver recently, and her name is Emily.
00:04:22
Speaker
And when I saw her process, I realized this is literal alchemy.
00:04:27
Speaker
This is taking something
00:04:29
Speaker
and breaking it down to its original elemental components, like on really basic levels, like salts and sugars and peptide.
00:04:37
Speaker
It's like really basic levels.
00:04:39
Speaker
And then if we want to, we can take those basic things, you know, and use them as fertilizer to actually grow new things.
00:04:46
Speaker
Like that's actual alchemy.
00:04:49
Speaker
It was done with gold and now we're going to do it.
00:04:54
Speaker
You sound way too excited.
00:04:56
Speaker
There'll be some people listening going, oh.
00:05:01
Speaker
You should have seen us when we first went to her facility.
00:05:04
Speaker
We like hugged the machine and we were like, oh my gosh.
00:05:08
Speaker
And then Erin actually got to, you know, see it and experience the whole thing.
00:05:13
Speaker
So they get back liquid fertilizer, human liquid fertilizer.
00:05:18
Speaker
It's not human though.
00:05:20
Speaker
Okay, not human anymore.
00:05:22
Speaker
All right, so liquid fertilizer.
00:05:24
Speaker
The fertilizer that was formally known as Jennifer.
00:05:33
Speaker
And then here's her skeleton ground down.
00:05:36
Speaker
So that's similar to cremated remains.
00:05:38
Speaker
Because a lot of people don't realize that
00:05:40
Speaker
You're not actually burned.
00:05:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:42
Speaker
We always try to be very sensitive to our audience of how we describe cremation, but it is that, I mean, you, you're burned and there's parts and by law, those parts have to be broken down so that they don't look like bones.
00:05:55
Speaker
Bones.
00:05:56
Speaker
But that's, I think
Public Perceptions and Green Alternatives in Cremation
00:05:57
Speaker
that's part of it.
00:05:59
Speaker
again back to where we kind of all got a bit crazy and a bit skewed is everyone's afraid to tell joe public what cremation actually is and i think that's what's anybody who's coming up with these green innovative new technologies that's what they're coming up against is they're getting these arguments of flushing granny down the toilet or putting granny out on your fertilizer and i'm like well you just lit granny on fire and
00:06:24
Speaker
Right.
00:06:25
Speaker
Ground your bones down.
00:06:26
Speaker
So if you've been okay with that for the last many years.
00:06:29
Speaker
Yes.
00:06:30
Speaker
Exactly that.
00:06:31
Speaker
You know.
00:06:32
Speaker
It's true though.
00:06:33
Speaker
Like, it's like, we're all kind of afraid to dance around it because we don't want to burst people's bubble that cremation's not like, I mean, my mom, when I sat down and did a pre-plan with her, she was like, well, I don't want you to bury me.
00:06:44
Speaker
because I don't want the worms to get me.
00:06:45
Speaker
I'm like, okay, but you know you're dead, right?
00:06:47
Speaker
She's like, it doesn't matter.
00:06:49
Speaker
And then I was like, okay, cremation.
00:06:50
Speaker
She was like, yeah.
00:06:50
Speaker
And then a couple of years later, she's like, you know what?
00:06:53
Speaker
I actually don't know that I want to be cremated anymore.
00:06:55
Speaker
Cause like, I mean, I know I love the heat, but like, what if I'm still alive?
00:06:58
Speaker
Like that'd be really uncomfortable.
00:07:00
Speaker
I love the heat.
00:07:02
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:07:03
Speaker
This woman, like she goes to bed with her hot water bottle, like every night and like, it's always cold.
00:07:09
Speaker
So that's why cremation appealed to her because she was like, well, I'll be eternally warm.
00:07:12
Speaker
I'm like, I think that's called hell.
00:07:14
Speaker
But sure.
00:07:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:07:18
Speaker
She also hates that I always talk about her on like any media.
00:07:22
Speaker
Now my own podcast.
00:07:23
Speaker
She's like Christ almighty.
00:07:25
Speaker
Do you have to keep telling everybody about this?
00:07:28
Speaker
Anyway.
00:07:29
Speaker
Yes.
00:07:29
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:07:31
Speaker
So neither of you necessarily have a water cremation unit.
00:07:34
Speaker
You work with you as part of your death wives community.
00:07:38
Speaker
You've got connections.
00:07:40
Speaker
What are your thoughts on say and say Katrina is doing the composting.
00:07:44
Speaker
So if you're into the green.
00:07:45
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:07:45
Speaker
We both light up with that.
00:07:46
Speaker
OK, we know we're loving that.
00:07:49
Speaker
Have you been there?
00:07:50
Speaker
Have you seen anything?
00:07:51
Speaker
I haven't yet gone there.
00:07:53
Speaker
I've seen her talk many times and I've talked to her, but I haven't actually seen the new unit that is
00:08:00
Speaker
or is Eunice, do we call her the Eunice?
00:08:01
Speaker
I'm not even sure.
00:08:02
Speaker
Maybe she's not the one.
00:08:03
Speaker
We just actually had our one year anniversary, Erin.
00:08:07
Speaker
Did you notice that?
00:08:08
Speaker
Our pictures?
00:08:08
Speaker
I did, I noticed.
00:08:10
Speaker
Yeah, Katrina was here in Colorado.
00:08:13
Speaker
We went to the Capitol building a year ago.
00:08:16
Speaker
to legalize that here in Colorado.
00:08:19
Speaker
Amazing.
Legalizing Composting: A New Frontier
00:08:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:21
Speaker
So she's good to go in Colorado.
00:08:24
Speaker
Yeah, it'll be here soon.
00:08:25
Speaker
She just opened up the first center.
00:08:27
Speaker
It's called Recompose and it's in Washington.
00:08:30
Speaker
So that's not very close to us here in Colorado, unfortunately.
00:08:34
Speaker
So I don't know that we'll be seeing it anytime soon, especially under COVID.
00:08:38
Speaker
We would love to, but more realistically, I hope that within a couple of years, there is a facility here.
00:08:44
Speaker
I know I'm very excited to see that because I have to say, I remember hearing about that years ago and I was very dubious.
00:08:50
Speaker
And then I am.
00:08:52
Speaker
She was at a talk here in New York and I was just like, hmm, interesting.
00:08:59
Speaker
This sounds like this could be a winner.
00:09:01
Speaker
This sounds like it could work.
00:09:03
Speaker
So I'm very interested to see more about that and hopefully get her on the show, actually, as well.
00:09:07
Speaker
Obviously, she's just she's a lovely girl, lovely woman.
00:09:11
Speaker
I should probably call her.
00:09:11
Speaker
Seems really down to earth.
00:09:15
Speaker
like maybe maybe maybe i should be her really big things for you know for people and the earth on a pretty large scale so we're big fans of hers absolutely absolutely so tell me just before we sort of wind it up tell me a bit more about death wives and i mean are you open to memberships are you tell you know if there's anybody in the industry listening or
00:09:40
Speaker
We're obviously going to leave all your links and everything, but tell us a little bit about maybe what you see the future, what you hope for the future.
00:09:48
Speaker
And yeah, if people want to be members or, you know, get to your training and things like that.
00:09:53
Speaker
We have so much
Changing Societal Views on Death Education
00:09:54
Speaker
to say about this.
00:09:54
Speaker
Frankly, it's all we've been talking about the last couple of days because Deathmix is growing in big ways.
00:10:01
Speaker
Lauren, do you want to start?
00:10:02
Speaker
And then if there's anything you didn't say, I'll doop, doop, doop at the end.
00:10:05
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:06
Speaker
Well, as I kind of said at the beginning, education has always been like number one.
00:10:12
Speaker
And the reason why education is so important is because
00:10:15
Speaker
When they got to me as a funeral director, I saw how skewed their relationship with death was and how much extra grieving was going on and just like this really uncomfortable relationship.
00:10:27
Speaker
And I just think of it as like when a baby's born, we're not like that, but that's how we are with our relationship with death.
00:10:34
Speaker
And so you have to start at the very beginning and that's just having conversations.
00:10:39
Speaker
And so when it comes down to just educating, we always just want to be accessible to everybody.
00:10:44
Speaker
Right.
00:10:46
Speaker
We're not just for death doulas.
00:10:47
Speaker
We're not just for funeral directors.
00:10:49
Speaker
We're not just for people who are learning about this in school.
00:10:53
Speaker
We're literally for everyone because death is an experience for everyone.
00:10:57
Speaker
We're all going to die.
00:10:59
Speaker
We may not remember when we die, but we'll all die.
00:11:04
Speaker
But we'll have family, we'll have friends, we'll have grief that we've been holding for years that we didn't even know was attached to a death or maybe even a bad funeral.
00:11:13
Speaker
I mean, there's a lot of aspects to death in the whole.
00:11:18
Speaker
And so what we do is we just kind of break it down and carve
00:11:22
Speaker
compartmentalize it and have little classes on these different topics, just so people can see like, I heard the term death doula is that something I want to do?
00:11:31
Speaker
Well come take death doula 101 and like we're going to explain to you what that does.
00:11:37
Speaker
oh I heard about you know these new green options okay we'll come take our eco environmental friendly death class or even just talk about home funerals or planning your own funeral or community grief groups like we have so many different things and that's
00:11:54
Speaker
That's really what Death Wives is, is we have this massive amount of education and support.
00:12:00
Speaker
And then we have a community of people that we are building.
00:12:03
Speaker
We're a collective of death workers because we've all come together, you know, with this one goal of making death part of life again.
00:12:11
Speaker
Beautifully said.
00:12:13
Speaker
I didn't even think I have anything to add to that.
00:12:15
Speaker
That was beautiful.
00:12:16
Speaker
Yes.
00:12:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:17
Speaker
Death Wives is education and outreach on a grassroots level so that people who want to do this work
00:12:23
Speaker
and do this work and so that we can kind of reclaim the way that we do death in America, you know, dispel a lot of the myths that people have, create openings for intimacy and for healing around the topic, you know, have the option that if you don't want to outsource it to a big corporation, you don't have to, you know, if you want to, you can, it's not for everybody.
00:12:45
Speaker
you mentioned something earlier Erin which I thought was actually quite interesting and I hadn't heard it before and it's actually quite true is that you've got death care and then this alternative death or death industry and then this alternative death industry and actually quite sadly that does seem to be
00:13:02
Speaker
quite true so in terms of if there's funeral directors listening to this female or otherwise it's i guess the wives bit doesn't necessarily bode you have to be female to join and they wanted to get through whether they work for corporations or not you're open to just generally people just and what do they do do they sign up to a newsletter do they send you an email say hey i want to be a death wife or keep me updated what's the process
00:13:29
Speaker
Right now, as we're recording this at the end of January, we are booked solid through May, which is a great problem to have.
00:13:37
Speaker
And what that tells us is that people are really hungry for this education, this content.
00:13:41
Speaker
So we are in the process of digitizing and recording everything so that we can kind of deliver it on demand instead of having to our schedules and just really creating a larger platform for getting the information
Adapting to COVID: Virtual Classes and Expanded Reach
00:13:52
Speaker
out there.
00:13:52
Speaker
which we're excited about.
00:13:54
Speaker
In the meantime, definitely follow us on social media at death.wives or at the death wives.
00:14:01
Speaker
Get consistency on that across the board at sometimes, but we had to take what was available.
00:14:06
Speaker
And yeah, and let us know if you want to be on our newsletter, we'll send those out and certainly let people know ahead of time if they want early registration, shoot us an email and we'll
00:14:15
Speaker
Our classes sell out like that.
00:14:17
Speaker
So you kind of do need to email us and let us know that you want to be on that wait list to get the email to be able to register early.
00:14:23
Speaker
Amazing.
00:14:24
Speaker
And are you physically doing the classes still or you're virtually doing them all?
00:14:30
Speaker
I mean, COVID.
00:14:32
Speaker
Yeah, COVID.
00:14:33
Speaker
I mean, it's horrible.
00:14:36
Speaker
As a funeral director, I have a very different relationship where I will start crying if I talk about COVID.
00:14:41
Speaker
Death career has been to try and offer these final moments and closure and services and
00:14:49
Speaker
And I'm just being, nope, sorry.
00:14:52
Speaker
Nope.
00:14:52
Speaker
Sorry.
00:14:52
Speaker
You can't see him.
00:14:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:54
Speaker
Like things we're talking about and we want people to know how to do it.
00:15:00
Speaker
They can't physically do it right now.
00:15:01
Speaker
It's so discouraging.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, no, I hear you.
00:15:06
Speaker
I've literally just, hence the wine, I've had the longest day because what I do pretty much the majority of my time is memorials.
00:15:15
Speaker
And I've had, I'm working with a family who obviously we can't do a memorial.
00:15:20
Speaker
And so we're actually doing a documentary, sort of this is your life.
00:15:24
Speaker
And, you know, I just spent the last like four hours going through photos and amazing, incredible.
00:15:30
Speaker
incredible memories but it's just devastating because to me I'm like these need to be physically seen not in a movie I mean I just I I'm not gonna lie in 2020 I held a lot of virtual memorials and honestly it's not my bag I know there's versions of me out there that are doing it and good for them and I know there's absolutely a place for them but it's just my heart of hearts believes in the holding of the hand and the
00:15:57
Speaker
I'm your best friend here with you through it all.
00:16:01
Speaker
We'll get you through this.
00:16:02
Speaker
Like I like exactly as you were just saying, Lauren, like it's it's heart wrenching to just
00:16:09
Speaker
Like I can't even bring it all virtual.
00:16:11
Speaker
I just can't.
00:16:12
Speaker
I can't bring myself to make my business virtual just to make my business virtual.
00:16:16
Speaker
I just it's not.
00:16:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:18
Speaker
This is as close.
00:16:19
Speaker
A podcast is about as close as I'm going to get.
00:16:21
Speaker
I'm like, you know, call me in two years when we actually can't hold each other's hand and I can walk you through it.
00:16:27
Speaker
Because honestly, I do believe in better late than never when it comes to a memorial or a service or whatever it is.
00:16:35
Speaker
I do believe.
00:16:36
Speaker
And
00:16:36
Speaker
It's a whole topic too.
00:16:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:38
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:16:39
Speaker
Like later's coming.
00:16:40
Speaker
We'll have a lot of services, but yeah.
00:16:42
Speaker
On the other side, my actual physical job as a funeral director has been horrible, but what we learned is that yes, we love teaching our classes on in person.
00:16:53
Speaker
You know, we would have a volunteer be the body as we bathe them and put them in a shroud and carried them over to their casket.
00:17:01
Speaker
We thought that that the education part would be lost somehow and trying to do virtual.
00:17:07
Speaker
And we started off by just having like virtual death cafes.
00:17:10
Speaker
And then it was just like, okay, let's try one of our classes in a two hour format.
00:17:16
Speaker
And our classes are like six hours live in person.
00:17:20
Speaker
And so then we were like, okay, well actually one of these six hour classes is like three classes.
00:17:25
Speaker
And this class is actually four classes.
00:17:27
Speaker
And so that's what we did is we started breaking them down.
00:17:31
Speaker
and people liked it, and then they would come and take the other one, and then they would tell their friend, and then they would take that one, and then this one, and then that one.
00:17:37
Speaker
And before we knew it, we were like, wow, people really do want this, and we're getting people from all over the world versus just locally in Colorado or nearby.
00:17:49
Speaker
As horrible as COVID has been, it's opened a whole different pathway for education for us.
00:17:53
Speaker
And we found it to be so much more accessible and anybody can come and learn from us anywhere at any time.
00:18:02
Speaker
And that's pretty cool.
00:18:03
Speaker
And that's what we're doing to build upon even more in these next few months is just to be able to offer it wherever you are.
00:18:11
Speaker
Anytime, come on our page and sign up and get it.
00:18:14
Speaker
That accessibility, we really mean
Future Episodes and Updates with Death Wives
00:18:17
Speaker
that.
00:18:17
Speaker
We've so far offered all of our classes on an honor system sliding scale, starting as low as $33 per class because we want
00:18:27
Speaker
You know, it's not college tuition.
00:18:28
Speaker
We don't want you to have to like worry about it if you want the education, come and get it.
00:18:33
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:18:34
Speaker
That was amazing.
00:18:35
Speaker
And I feel like I'm going to get you on again to just, you know, talk some more.
00:18:39
Speaker
Definitely keep me updated on anything and everything that you do.
00:18:42
Speaker
But yeah, thanks so much.
00:18:43
Speaker
You're fabulous.
00:18:45
Speaker
Bye, ladies.
00:18:51
Speaker
Well, what did you think of that episode, guys?
00:18:53
Speaker
I thought it was really interesting.
00:18:55
Speaker
What the girls are doing is fantastic and definitely something that you should all check out and dig a bit further into.
00:19:02
Speaker
They're on Instagram and I love their work on Instagram.
00:19:05
Speaker
So check them out and all the links and stuff are below.
00:19:09
Speaker
And if you want to send us a question in or you have a guest that you think we should absolutely get on the show, please email us at glamreaperpodcast at gmail.com.
00:19:18
Speaker
I'll talk to you soon.