Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
80. Invisible Realm Of Feelings- With Diana "Didi" Mogrobejo
74 Plays4 years ago
Diana “Didi” Mogrobejo shares her journey after the unexpected death of her newborn grandson. She shares how the support of a community, her spiritual beliefs, the power of prayer and her art were all essential parts of process.
Didi is a Colombian painter, fashion designer, actress, and model. She explores the invisible realm of feelings. Light, mirrors, pathways, dreams, and blood – a few of the vehicles of the natural world emerge readily in the works of the artist. Examining the realm of inner feelings, she reflects and the power of thought leads her to see patterns of the mystical world eventually discovery of the “baten” of sacred literature. Her own veils and that of others have become apparent. New images and messages of greater depth have emerged, and collective transformation is created.
Diana studied fashion design in Bogota, Colombia and fashion merchandising in Miami. She lives in Los Angeles and is currently working on her new International art movement project called ‘NEHA® which stands for Non-Emotional High Art.
Contact Didi Mogrobejo: https://www.instagram.com/dmogrobejo/
Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or for coaching: http://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com
Recommended
Transcript
The Comfort of Art and Prayer
00:00:00
Speaker
That dream means for me that there's actually the thought that I'm into it is the fact that I'm okay, you know, that I'm fine. That everything is going to be all right no matter how dark it looks sometimes or how narrow this beat can lose or anything. There's always a way out. I believe in prayer, I believe in meditation, I believe in
00:00:28
Speaker
All the things that make you feel you. And the art and painting and drawing is one of those. OK, I was born with that talent.
Introduction to Grief, Gratitude, and Transformation
00:00:41
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grief, Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast.
00:00:48
Speaker
This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:01:04
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys. I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host. Now, let's dive right in to today's episode.
00:01:28
Speaker
I'm so excited for you guys to be on today and to be listening in to the conversation I'll be having with my friend Didi Mogrobeiko. Am I pronouncing that right? I always forget to ask people before I say their name.
00:01:46
Speaker
if I'm pronouncing it correctly. Did I say that right? Yes, you did as well.
Didi's Journey: Grief and Art
00:01:51
Speaker
Thank you. I think I have at least, I don't know how many episodes would be starting that way. Like, wait, did I say it right? So the audience is probably like, why hasn't she learned her lesson and just asked people how to pronounce their names before she starts recording?
00:02:06
Speaker
It is what it is. So Dee Dee and I are both from Colombia. So we actually have never met in person. My sister introduced us and we've been chatting for over a year and she shared her beautiful journey
00:02:23
Speaker
of grief with me. And I say beautiful because it is beautiful, even though it was hard. And I'm excited for you all to listen to it. A little bit more about Didi Didi as an artist. She's also an actor, a model. What other things, Didi, aside from a mother and grandmother? What other titles? What else would you like to say about yourself?
00:02:47
Speaker
Well, I mean, besides being a mother, of course, of a wonderful son, he's a young man. Very, very charismatic and generous son. Yeah, I just love to travel. I love to help families to get properly protected, to income protection.
00:03:11
Speaker
which people will call life insurance. And yeah, I have my licenses from Florida and California. And then you're an artist, an artist, right? So you're an artist, your passion is being an artist and your day job is helping people with life insurance and so forth. Yeah, it's connected with me because my purpose in life also, it's entertained and be all of these, it allows me to be me.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. It gives you that space. It gives you that financial freedom to be able to have the time and space to create your art as well. And it's also connecting with people and helping people, which is what you also do with your art, because your art is a reflection of that. So we're going to then hop back a little, and now we know what you do now. And now we're going to hear a little bit about your journey, a little bit now, the whole podcast is going to be about
00:04:06
Speaker
your journey. So a lot about your journey as to how it is. You got to where you are now.
Emotional Challenges: Son Leaving and Divorce
00:04:14
Speaker
So you're then from Colombia, tell us about your life and about becoming a mom, a young mom, and then your journey of becoming a grandmother for the first time. And then the grief journey, which to the listeners will share now just so that you know what this is about. And that way you could choose also to listen
00:04:33
Speaker
We're going to be talking about her grandchild who passed away some years back. So that is the journey. So go ahead. Kendra, this is a hard task for me.
00:04:45
Speaker
you are putting me to say the whole, the whole life of me. I mean, it's been a long, long trip. I don't want to take everybody here like probably it's going to be for weeks or years. Okay, we can do the cliff notes, you know, the brief versions are Columbia. I mean, you could go that way. You can you can you can do the highlights of your life. How about that?
00:05:07
Speaker
Wonderful. I think it's great. Yeah, like bullet points a little bit. Exactly. That's what it is. Okay, wonderful. Thank you so much for this wonderful time that you are actually doing these. This is very important. I always talk about your podcast because I think it is very vital that people know about
00:05:33
Speaker
grieving and they know that they have a place to go and they have a community. So I'm very grateful that you're doing this for the community and besides the coaching therapy is amazing. So yes, I grew up in Columbia and I was living there in Cali also, 20 times. I moved to the US in 2005. I was married with a beautiful family. So then
00:06:02
Speaker
I got divorced. Of course, I have my
Early Motherhood and Spiritual Growth
00:06:05
Speaker
son very young. I was 14 years old when I had him. So just imagine that 14 year old baby pretty much having a baby. Okay. Um, as a matter of fact, yes, it's been 24 years because he's 24 now. So yeah, I'm going to be
00:06:29
Speaker
Well, I'm not going to say how I'm going to be, but he's calculated. They could calculate exactly. If you had him at 14 and he's 24, he would calculate your age there. But yes, you're a young mom. Just imagine this month for me, when I had him, I was about to turn 15 years old, and he was my gift, right?
00:06:53
Speaker
And then, yes, many things happened. I lived in a convent with nuns. Okay. I decided to just move. I didn't want to be like a burden for my family. And I wanted to be independent. So then I moved to a nun command and I was with him for a little bit of time. And there was another young, uh,
00:07:15
Speaker
teenagers, you know, mothers for the first time. And it was a beautiful experience, you know, so that was my, at that moment, I was very rebel. So what this experience did for me was to help me how to get a little bit more in touch with the spirit of God and things like that, like spiritual science. That was very rebel, you know, I was very for the dark side.
00:07:38
Speaker
So it was good. So then I moved in 2005 to the US, wonderful, you know, and with my ex-husband. So years later, you know, after eight years, we live amazing lives. So then I divorced. So then after the divorce, yeah, everything happened, you know, I was young with this teenager, and then, you know, a lot of struggles, you know, and, and my son and I, I said, he's my
00:08:05
Speaker
He's my son, but he's also my best friend. I don't know how to say that because he's really, you know, I understand. So Didi, the difference you have an age with your son is the difference I have an age with my younger brother. So and my younger brother and my sister who is 10 years are really close to me. So I can understand that dynamic for you that even though he's your son, he's also your best friend because it is also the person that's been by your side.
00:08:33
Speaker
in all this year, and especially since you were a single mom for a while before you got married to your first husband, right? So that's who you develop this connection. So I can, I can, I can really, I can, I can understand. I don't, I don't know. I can understand how that could happen. Yeah. That's wonderful that, yeah, that you know that part. Because, you know, it's hard to understand when you're not passing, you know, a little bit of the same situation or similar, you know,
00:09:01
Speaker
people would tend to judge, right? Like always thinking, like all the elderly women, you know, like they have kids at the normal time, especially one of the things that I hated, I mean, I want to say hate, but I dislike was to go into the meetings, you know, in the school meetings, because all the mothers, the majority of them were like, you know, make 40s or like, you know, the right time for the right age of the kid. So then for me, it was just, I was always looked like I was a teeny baby and a nanny of kids.
00:09:31
Speaker
of my son or the younger, you know, like the older, the sister, the sister. So well, you know, we had this connection that at the age of 17, my son pretty much kind of run away with another girl, you know, with his life right now with his wife, you know, like the wife that he is trying out with him. And yeah, they, they went to live together.
00:09:59
Speaker
It was very tough for me, okay, because I had this attachment, you know, like this bonding with him and suddenly he's gone and I'm passing through all of these upside downs in my life. So then it was really hard that part. I just want to go into details, but yeah.
00:10:16
Speaker
No, I wanted to ask, is that at the same time as you were going through your divorce that he then left? Is that around the same time? As long as same time. Oh, yeah, that's
Grieving a Son's Departure
00:10:26
Speaker
my gosh. That's a whole other grieving chapter there, just there, divorce and then your child leaving. Yeah. Oh my gosh, Didi. That's like, that's a whole other podcast episode.
00:10:41
Speaker
Well, we're summarizing here a little quick. Yes, yes, yes. I don't want to get too much, but I just want to get into the point where, so then you can have an idea, you know, of what a relationship was. It wasn't actually, Numa was probably the best, you know, like mother and son, so connected. It wasn't like that because I was a very, um,
00:11:04
Speaker
I don't know if you can relate, when you cannot give love or receive, you know, it's like something is blocked in you, that you don't know what it is, probably trauma from your childhood, maybe so many things that's, you know, if you haven't gone through, and proper, you know, like pure healing, so then you come in dragging all of these things. So then that's what happened. And I wasn't able to kind of really bond with my son.
00:11:34
Speaker
when these things happen that he left this girl which is by the way she's also an amazing person so you know it is it is a shock yeah and then yeah so then they have this wonderful amazing kid um
00:11:52
Speaker
I don't know if you want to ask something before that. No, no, no, go ahead. Let's go into it. Let's go into when, because he moved and he moved out of state. So you were living in Florida at that time. He moved out of state. So when he had his child, he was out of state in that moment. So tell us then, how was that of you finding out first off that you were going to be a grandmother and, um, and let's go from that part point on.
The Birth of Baby Leo and Missed Moments
00:12:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:22
Speaker
Yes, it was very interesting. I was doing some paint life painting. That was December. And, you know, if you had been in Miami or something like that, December is very special month because of the art. So I was having some invitations to paint life.
00:12:43
Speaker
with other friends, artist friends that are very successful. And I was doing that when actually they called me, you know, that the baby, but before that time, like after we get to the point, I wasn't really in touch with my son that much, you know, we were very separated. And I asked him, I said, do you want me to go or anything, you know, for during the baby, you know, probably
00:13:12
Speaker
Yeah, but I wasn't really insisting because of the relationship probably that I didn't have with my daughter's son and daughter-in-law. And of course being separated, you know, it's hard. But then, yeah, I was right there. I was doing my life painting and
00:13:32
Speaker
And they just told me, they called me that night and they said, oh, the baby is here. And I was like, oh my goodness. That's so amazing. I mean, the feeling of like something like a life is born from, you know, it's your son. I mean, it's amazing. And yeah, I just wanted to see him, you know, and to see how he looks like and everything. And it's very sweet. It's very different.
00:14:02
Speaker
very wonderful cultural experience for me. Yeah. That's beautiful. And so this is in December when baby Leo is his name, uh, when baby Leo was born. And then, um, because of then the distance, then we were trying to figure out when you were going to go and, and visit him. So how long did it, how, how was this? And I know you were doing the art basil. I don't know how many weeks that lasts. Is that a week?
00:14:31
Speaker
Art Basel, is it a week or weekend? Yeah, it's a week. Okay. So then tell us, and how was that? Was your son at that point also asking you for tips on parenting at that point? At least it broke that distance of communication, right, that you guys have had, because he had to tell you that the baby was born. Did you guys start communicating a little bit more at that point when baby Leo was born? Not really. It wasn't that, you know, it wasn't that.
00:15:01
Speaker
communication at all, you know, we're still we're a little bit kind of living in our own lives, you know, I was there, but I didn't want to be so intruder. And yeah, it was hard, you know, that moment, I don't even know how to explain it. But yeah, at that time, I was actually working
00:15:21
Speaker
I was working in in retail, which is, you know, in December, you cannot pretty much think about going anywhere, because these were the holiday parties are so that you have to really be there. Right. So all of that. Plus, I think my priorities at that moment were a little bit messed up. My priorities, you know, I didn't have my priorities kind of clear at that moment. You know, I think part of my priority was to just
00:15:50
Speaker
leave you know and like go and see this newborn you know that's just coming back. But you know things were like oh you know I just started this job you know you always give excuses to yourself you know and then I asked my son and he was like no you don't have to come you know you can come in February you know we're gonna go in February.
00:16:12
Speaker
we're going in February, you know, this is very cold in here, you know, whatever. So there was a lot of things, you know, like before that. And I said, well, you know, you can do right, whatever. So I didn't really put a lot of emphasis on going, you know, and do this. That's a big lesson for me, because now, whatever
00:16:36
Speaker
It's happening, you know, again, you know, I must be there and, you know, of course I'm going to put the priorities, you know, where they need to go. I wanted to say, Didi, that, and by the way to the listeners, Didi and I, we've had this conversation, we already, we had this conversation before we recorded this podcast some months back. And unfortunately, technology was not in our favor that time. And so we're recording again. So this is another time I'm listening, but you know,
00:17:05
Speaker
Even though I had already listened to the story, you said something different this time that I realized, and it was that aspect of, you know, my priorities were not, you know, in the right, you know, like how you, you know, in that moment, you kind of like said, Oh, well, I'll just do the job. And there's always time, right? We always think there's time, you know, the baby was just born, I'll just go in February, there's always time.
00:17:32
Speaker
So first off, I want to just say thank you for being so transparent and also for being so honest with yourself to know that your priorities were different. That takes a lot of courage and I just want to honor you for that.
00:17:52
Speaker
I want to honor you for that courage of taking that responsibility of like that your priorities were different at that time, that that's why part of the reason that you didn't go when baby Leo was born. So thank you. Thanks a lot. Thank you for listening and for noticing that. I think it's my, it's my call to share this with the world and come whoever is open to
00:18:21
Speaker
to hear these things and get something. I hope everybody will get something out of it.
00:18:26
Speaker
Yes, no, thank you. It is because, you know, a lot of times it's easy to blame others or to do those kind of things of situations in life, but it is way harder to take responsibility for our own kind of part in things of maybe not having had the chance, you know, to meet somebody or be there for somebody at certain time. So I just wanted to say, acknowledge that from you.
00:18:54
Speaker
So then let's fast forward then, you would chat with them via, would you do FaceTime to be able to see baby Leo? How was that seeing your grandchild on video and all that? Please share with us. It was the most amazing thing. And he, for some reason, these babies are going with time and they're mining.
00:19:18
Speaker
And if you can give them a phone, I'm pretty sure that they find anything in the phone, you know, it's like one month long. I don't know how they do this, but it's wonderful. But this kid, you know, his face and his hair was like, you know, all standing up, standing up like a mohawk, like a mohawk. Yeah. And all black and.
00:19:45
Speaker
you know, his face, you know, like a bounder face, very cute, very cute. And he's mine on me, you know, that day I was at work and I was in the parking lot and I was looking at this, you know, and they call and they put the baby there and oh, it's so sweet, you know, it's just like, I don't know, that's the day it came up. I felt a different kind of love that I never felt before.
00:20:11
Speaker
it was a love that it was a line that you go when you're like so cold and then you go to a place that they give you like I don't know warm chocolate and they kind of give you love you know that you feel this thin line and this all this feeling of like harmony and peace
00:20:33
Speaker
Wow, I just got chills because you just mentioned even before that you had been with like your relationship with your son. That was one in which you had walls and blocks basically and not allowing yourself to really truly
00:20:51
Speaker
connect in a way that allowed you to give love and receive love. And by the time that then you became a grandmother, either baby Leo broke those walls or and then you were already at that point or things had already kind of started to shift with you that you were already to feel that. Which one was it? Was it like certain things had happened in your life that certain
00:21:18
Speaker
pieces of this wall had crumbled that they were ready then to be open to love your grandchild at that moment or was it baby Leo that cracked you open? Good question, good question, excellent question because as I'm thinking and listening and remembering right going back again
00:21:40
Speaker
I think what this moment did for me and this wonderful soul here that was such a short time for me was the capacity of forgiveness and forgiveness to myself and forgiveness to others. That was the channel of that kind of the thing that was really, you know, blocking me.
00:22:11
Speaker
another world. That's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, so let's fast forward to when you received the news. What month was that? And
00:22:30
Speaker
share more about that, because then there's a lot of different pieces that we want to make sure the listeners hear about how that experience was also a catalyst also in your spiritual growth and in your art. So let's go down that side, that part of the story, please. Thank you.
Profound Meditation and Spiritual Connection
00:22:50
Speaker
So yes, before that actually happened, I was, I don't know why,
00:22:57
Speaker
I was kind of living, I was trying to find to know how to meditate, okay? So during that time in December, okay? This all happened December 2014 to January 2015, okay? It was a situation in time a little bit, so. Before the webinar was going, I was learning how to meditate, but I wasn't able to quite get there. So then I was in the Spanish monastery in Miami,
00:23:27
Speaker
Very beautiful place. If you have time, please go there. It's amazing. An amazing yoga classes and environment is great. So in one of these classes, the yoga teacher or the doctor, we were doing a deep meditation. Probably that was in the middle, the baby was already born. So that was probably in the mid-December. And that day,
00:23:57
Speaker
She brought those wonderful people there, but that day was the day that I connected with the meditation, that I felt something, okay? And see, you know, at the end, when you're finished with your exercise, you know, with your stretching and everything, so then there's a moment for you to kind of rest, you know, laying down on the mat.
00:24:22
Speaker
And then she put a beautiful song, the mom song that I ever heard in my life. And it was, and I started crying. I don't know, nothing like, it touched my heart. I started crying for not a reason, you know, not a reason for me to be crying in a younger class, you know, and after,
00:24:51
Speaker
finalizing my humanitarian section. So it really deeply taught my heart, and I cried. I didn't know what happened. I asked her, can you please tell me what the name of the song is? Did you play number three? And she said, yes, of course. I can give you the name of the song, and I can send it to you. It's OK.
00:25:20
Speaker
And finally, yeah, everything happened like that that day. So the following month, okay. It was around January 20th. And I was in a fashion show. I was actually doing all the backstage in the fashion show in the month. And I received a phone call. It was my ex-husband. And he said, well, take a seat, okay? Just sit down. I want to tell you something.
00:25:51
Speaker
So at that point I had no idea what he was going to say, nothing clueless completely. And then he said, did you know what happened to your son Cody? And I said, no, no, he hasn't. I haven't talked to him for two days. He said, do you know what happened? And I said, no, what's going
Life-Altering News: Loss of a Grandchild
00:26:13
Speaker
on? I was trying to get him, you know, like worrying what happened.
00:26:17
Speaker
He said, well, I don't know how to say this, but something happened to baby Leo. And I was like, what happened to baby Leo? And he said, he passed away. And I was in shock. And I was in shock. I said, what?
00:26:46
Speaker
I don't know if I was breathing, I don't know what was, but I was in, in living only in a living shop. So the only thing that I was able to do is like hang out the phone, talk to my manager and, and, and, and booked my flight. That day I just couldn't do anything. I called my best, one of my best friends, you know, and I explained what happened. And I went immediately.
00:27:14
Speaker
to, okay, I've been practicing the Baha'i faith, which is a beautiful faith, and it speaks to me a lot, and it was helping me in this journey, you know, my spiritual journey. And the only thing that I was thinking, I didn't know what to do, you know, where to go for solace? Where do you go for solace when something like that? Where?
00:27:42
Speaker
I don't have family in the United States, so it was like, okay. And I went there, these amazing sightings, and of course they get misalized, but what I felt was an extremely strong will. You know, it's like, you gotta go there and help, you know, and be with your son. You have to be with them. Something's pulling me. We have to be with them right now.
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah, effectively I've got everything. Even the flies were like super inexpensive and everything was ready to go.
00:28:25
Speaker
So you arrive and thank you for sharing that. And I know that reliving sometimes those little memories of when you find out the news and things like that, it stirs up again, all emotions. So you fly to Tennessee, Tennessee is where he was, right? No, Kentucky. I always get confused. Which state was he living in?
00:28:45
Speaker
In Tennessee, yeah. Tennessee, it was Tennessee. Okay, I wasn't far off. You fly then from Florida to Tennessee to then be with them during this time. What was the next step? Did he pick you up? Did you go to their home? How was that encounter of you seeing them? Yeah, no, they didn't pick me up. Of course, I went to the house.
00:29:14
Speaker
and baby passed away so they stopped telling me everything like what happened and there's so many so many things that i didn't understand because you know i haven't seen him for about a while the moment i i saw him of course you know i gave him a big hug and
00:29:38
Speaker
I just say I'm here, you know, I didn't want to say anything, but my presence there was saying it all. So that moment is a moment of like, you forget about everything, you know, and you need to be really have humbleness, you know, and readiness, you got to be ready, you got to be humble, and you got to be there, pressing. So that was the momentos of pressing.
00:30:08
Speaker
that brought you to be present. So let's talk about then when decisions in terms of burial and so forth, and how you then contacted the Baha'i community then in the city of Tennessee, where you were at, which what city was it again that you were in in Tennessee?
00:30:34
Speaker
That was Nashville, and they were living in a little big part of Nashville, you know, it's a very cute little town. It's called Jackson. And they were living in Jackson in that moment. So yeah, they have to kind of transfer the body, the body, baby's body was in a place first. And then unfortunately, they weren't doing a good job. So then I said, we have to take him out of to another case, because his face is definitely not doing a good job. And
00:31:04
Speaker
You know, they, they wanted to cremated the baby, the body on the baby inside. They wanted to cremated the body. And then, you know, I, I just said, no, you can't do it.
00:31:17
Speaker
So, and partly was, yeah, because of your own, and we share similar, we share the same faith where I'm also a member of the Baha'i faith and then the Baha'i faith cremation is just not part of the way that we do things. We respect, of course, that that is what other religions may do. It just doesn't happen to be part of our practices.
00:31:38
Speaker
So you didn't want baby Leo to be cremated and so you then contacted the Baha'i community to then be able to see how they could help you. So please share that because I know you were talking about like how you felt so
00:31:57
Speaker
alone right in this moment like where do you go you know you seek them for comfort in the prayers and things that kind of just bring you that peace of mind the solace in your whole in your heart and in your soul and so how did that then play a part then in this next step of of burial and so forth please yeah of course yeah I mean I couldn't get better thoughts than calling
00:32:25
Speaker
you know, and telling the friends that I had at the moment, you know, I never thought that community, you know, community life, and when you, when whatever you put into your community, that's what you get. If you don't put anything, you know, how do you expect? I mean, you're not putting anything in order to go on going to receive anything. You put it because, you know, you feel like that's, that's what makes you feel good, right? It has to make you feel good at the same time.
00:32:54
Speaker
It takes effort, you know, sometimes you don't want to, but sometimes, you know, things start effort, you know, to build the trust. And I think that's what I have built, you know, I build trust and I build that community, you know, people, you know, that they knew us and they knew who we were and they were there ready for us to, you know. Yeah, they didn't hesitate.
00:33:22
Speaker
And immediately they start moving their contacts, you know, so then I got amazing, I would call angels. They for me were angels in that moment. I had no idea what to expect or what to do because, you know, in my family, I think I never passed through any, any, any of these moments, you know, on my own. So one of the questions that I always had was how I really want to,
00:33:50
Speaker
I wouldn't be able to connect more with the world beyond this life, like what's up there, you know. I always, in my art, I always kind of going that way, you know, like in the invisible world, and I'm always having a lot of dreams and things like that, so I'm connecting very well with that. But this experience was not only painful, but also
00:34:20
Speaker
very, very eye-opener and I'm very, I don't know what else to call it, maybe there's certain work that I really haven't found yet. And yeah, the community just came and helped, they helped so much that I have no
00:34:38
Speaker
way. How do we even describe that? And yeah, they helping me with the whole process. So there was a beautiful moment that happened inside of when he had the body. And that was the first time that actually I've always going to be able to hold the body, right? And the ladies were there helping me in this process, right? And something happened. It was a message.
00:35:09
Speaker
I was spent by this amazing soul, and I don't know if you believe or not, but now I truly believe that there's actually messages that come in with all of this.
00:35:23
Speaker
And so you were, and I do believe, I do believe. So you're in the, um, are you taking some time as you're processing? Yes. Don't worry. I'll fill in the space here as you take some time.
Spiritual Messages and Family Unity
00:35:38
Speaker
I never know if you've passed because you want me to ask you a question or if it's that you're taking time. So take, take your time. Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker
Yeah, okay. So you then were with two ladies that then helped you then in the process of the shrouding of the body. So in the Baha'i faith, there's like ceremony that goes around the aspect. There's actually very few rituals that there are in the Baha'i faith, but one of those is in the process of burial. And so then you were in this room with the
00:36:17
Speaker
two ladies and you're preparing baby Leo's body and please share then if you can share that message that then you felt you received from baby Leo. Yeah. Suddenly I was there and suddenly I saw, of course, and the place was amazing. They did.
00:36:40
Speaker
And all the people there were like, seriously, I felt like I was in heaven. So many people would say, oh my God, we've been in heaven. I think that place is heaven for me. Because the people there were so kind, so kind with every little detail, everything. I need to learn from them actually. And then I was there alone, just alone in this beautiful small place.
00:37:08
Speaker
the body and me and all of this. So then suddenly, one of the ladies who was helping me with this drowning of the body, she brought some dry petals from the holy land. Wow. With oil, it was a rose oil essence. And she brought also a CD with me.
00:37:38
Speaker
So, and she put the music. She was the one who was taking care of me that much. I'm just looking and helping, you know, whatever. And the moment they left, and I guess they put the song, but the moment I held the body, number three of the song played. And you don't want to know what's wrong with that.
00:38:06
Speaker
was the same song that I heard in the yoga class when I was doing meditation. And that song is called The Secret Garden. Love Land. Yeah, Mr. Love Land from The Secret Garden.
00:38:30
Speaker
It's like, it's as if you had lived, you know, in literature, like when you're reading a book or when you're watching a movie, there's things that are foreshadowing, you know, that when things happen that then are foreshadowing something of the future. And you live that in real life with having experience listening to that song during your yoga class.
00:38:56
Speaker
getting those tears rolling down your face of how moved you were without you knowing the why and then a month later that's the same song that somebody else played while you're holding your grandchild's body in your arms that's just like if people don't believe in signs
00:39:19
Speaker
I don't know why they wouldn't, you know, but I don't know how someone cannot believe in signs when you've lived things like that. So, so beautiful. Yeah. And then with most amazing experience like that, and of course after that something doesn't happen. You're going to ask me something? What are you going to ask me?
00:39:44
Speaker
So then in that moment, yeah, it was that moment and I said, wow, I was a speechless. I wasn't even thinking about anything. It's just leaving that moment at that frequency, you know, it's a very high frequency.
00:40:04
Speaker
and yeah suddenly i got this high thought something inside of my head there was like a little voice boom came in and the message was very clear this is this is okay it should be here it's fine this needs to happen okay so that gave me that message gave me tranquility you see because
00:40:34
Speaker
oh, yeah, this is supposed to be happening, okay, so it's nothing wrong, you know, it's happening, supposed to be happening, so. But the next message was very new for me, okay? And it was that the life, the unity of the family was the most important thing in this world. And I needed to kind of digest that, right?
00:41:07
Speaker
And that everything was okay, that it needs to be happening.
00:41:14
Speaker
That's so beautiful, especially because you had had an estranged a little bit of a strange relationship with your son in the in the past and that that's the message that you get. And that responsibility now after having that message be given to you right of then okay, that's the most important now.
00:41:34
Speaker
the role that I'll play into creating that. So I do want to go into that. But let's go back to this number three, because I want you to then share the number three then was the number of the song in the CD. And number three was also then tell us the other thing that that number three played a role in.
00:41:59
Speaker
Yes, it was the plot with the babies. It was the only, it was the only one that was actually available. There were others that, you know, it was different. So we, and it happened that that center had a special side for like behind, I didn't even know. And I didn't even care because you know, I wanted it just to be given
00:42:27
Speaker
an honorable space. And actually, yeah, that was the number again, number three for the song, number three for the plot. And that was his number, you know, and that was his song. You know, the song that we already had and that was his message.
00:42:50
Speaker
So it's a spirit that because probably he's so pure, he didn't have to be in this world for such a long time to bring us together and to help other souls advance and move on to the living process.
00:43:13
Speaker
That's so beautiful that you were able to see that wisdom, that the role he played in coming to this world for such a short period of time to this mortal plane, that he still served his mission of bringing you then closer to your family.
00:43:36
Speaker
So can you please share about that? How then did that message of the family being the most important thing in this world, the family unit and the unity of the family shift then your relationship with your family, with your son from there on? Wow. Yeah, it was immediately. It was a change completely in my heart. Like there was a Diana before and
00:44:05
Speaker
It was a completely sweet, you know, like from darkness to light. Everything felt just like so real. Like, oof, you get this aha moment and it's coming to you and there's nothing else you can do. There's no place to go back because you don't want to go back.
00:44:34
Speaker
It's like an awakening, an awakening of your soul. And then let's talk then about how that experience, how that spiritual experience then also has impacted your art. And let's dive into that because your art has been now
00:44:56
Speaker
not also one of these tools for your grief journey as well and then just how you're expressed.
Healing Through Art and Dreams
00:45:02
Speaker
So please let's go into that. And I want to again say thank you for sharing Leo's story with us and that hard moment. So if it's okay with you to share now how that experience has now impacted your creativity. Yeah, thanks. It's fine. Yes, it's been
00:45:25
Speaker
I switched him, you know, from one place to another, right? And then, and yeah, the next day, I mean, everything happened, you know, there was an amazing memorial. The Baha'is were there, people that I didn't even know. There was a beautiful lady was singing like that. She was singing like the, like the bird, you know, like amazing. And then I was looking at all of these people that I've never seen in my life before.
00:45:54
Speaker
And they would all come together because of this soul passing. I was like, who is this person? They don't even know. What are they doing here? It's like, this is family. So then I realized that we're a family, like humanity, we're only family. And it doesn't matter. You don't have to be family in the blood because sometimes the blood family don't even close to you when these things happen. They can't, maybe.
00:46:24
Speaker
They just don't want to be there, they're not in the moment, anything. So that's why we realized a big realization for me, you know, it's like, we're a big human family here. Undeniable. Nobody probably would be able to do that better than what they did at that moment. So, you know, it's a moment of trust, a moment of faith. It was a moment for me to say, wow, they got me, and they don't even know.
00:46:54
Speaker
So yeah, I, after that, again, you know, I'm very grateful and always grateful for this moment that it needs to happen the way it happens. And we both, that's how we, that's how we're meeting probably. That's why we're here together. You know, it's always a reason for something. I went back to Miami. There was important part here.
00:47:20
Speaker
in about the first night of the sun in the morning, that also it makes me believe, you know, it makes me realize that it is this beautiful soul talking to me as well. But when I went back to Miami and I was going back to my kitties right again, I don't have any grandkids anymore physically, but I know I live somewhere, lives in my heart.
00:47:48
Speaker
And he's here, he's everywhere. No going to me. He's always going to be my grand, my first grandchild, my child, and his baby Leah. And he's the author of all of the paintings that are coming back, you know, like how many that I want to create. So I came back to Miami. And then the day after that, when this happened, you know, the next day,
00:48:18
Speaker
I had a dream. I guess what the dream was. It's one of the paintings that you can actually see in my social media channel. And there's a little story about that, of course, you know, very short. There's not as long as this one. So you're actually very
00:48:44
Speaker
lucky if you are, if you tune in with Kansas podcast, you can hear the whole story. The whole story. Yes, and this baby just, wow. The dream was very clear too, okay? Just imagine a beautiful, like a horror song. Just imagine the horror song, right?
00:49:15
Speaker
the horizontal line. And then in the back of this, there are like the pieces of the piano, you know, like the black and white pieces of the piano, you know, that's the beautiful harmony, like tones and music. You know, something was similar like that. And then as you come in this way, something comes into your way. It's a beautiful path.
00:49:45
Speaker
that's coming from that horoia, it's very far. And then the path is just starts coming into your eye, literally comes to your eye, like comes to you. Then besides, on the sides of this path, okay, and it's a curvy path, okay? It's not a straight path. It's like a little curve, it has some curves and everything. And then on the side of all of these, the flowers will start coming
00:50:14
Speaker
bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and larger and larger. So then we have the little ones and we have the larger ones coming also to you and those flowers are like different colors and like wonderful, amazing, like a beautiful garden, like full of flowers and colors. So this path, you know, it's, yeah, it has, so then that's pretty much
00:50:40
Speaker
OK, it's very basic. That was your dream. That was your dream. The horizon, the kind of like the keyboard, was it the keyboard kind of of a piano with the white and the black keys at the back and then a pathway winding from this horizon straight to your heart and flowers then on the sides. I would just get bigger as it comes. OK, so that's the that was a dream. Then how did you turn that dream into
00:51:09
Speaker
an art piece and what did you interpret from that dream and what did it mean to you? Yes, it is. That dream means for me that there's actually the thought that I'm into it is the fact that I'm okay, that I'm fine, that everything is going to be all right no matter how dark it looks sometimes.
00:51:35
Speaker
how narrow this beat can lose of anything, there's always a way out. I believe in prayer, I believe in meditation, I believe in all the things that make you feel you. And the art and painting and drawing is one of those. I was born with that talent. That talent is always little, always with drawing, always with painting, always creating something new.
00:52:04
Speaker
But I never had the, I never had honor. You see, this is important for artists, for emerging artists, and they don't believe in themselves because they don't believe they're good enough. They don't believe that the things that they have to give to the world are important or meaningful. So I would say to all the emerging artists or somebody who would probably decided to do another career because
00:52:30
Speaker
art is not going to be painted. So whatever, whatever things that they put into their hearts, just reconsider that. Going back to drawing, going back to painting of whatever you'd like to do, that's one thing.
00:52:51
Speaker
That is amazing that you were able to have that clarity in that moment and also that confidence to keep on doing your art from that dream. It also gave you that kind of catalyst to continue doing it.
00:53:06
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you so much. And for sharing that for the emerging artists to really know that your story matters. And that's the thing. It's not even about the talent itself, but the story behind the talent and how you can transport somebody by what you do with your art and how you are able to touch somebody else's heart in that journey. That's what
00:53:33
Speaker
truly is what matters. And that's why each artist is so unique because we all are so unique and everybody kind of relates to a different piece of art, music or visual or theatrical piece of art differently based on their own perspectives and ideas. So there's room for everyone to express themselves.
00:53:56
Speaker
that's correct that is correct and even if you think you're no good at it but if you're doing it make you happy and makes you you know connect with something bigger than yourself
00:54:09
Speaker
just keep on doing, listening to that voice of intuition. So now I call myself an intuitive artist. That's the good thing about United States. As soon as you start noticing something about yourself, it's like, okay, now I'm an intuitive artist. That's good. And I'm actually honoring the gift that I have.
00:54:29
Speaker
I have a nice Facebook page now. I'm in the process. I'm still in the process and I always will be in the process. But you guys, everybody who wants to see what I'm doing, please check it out. There's a lot of information there. Do you want to say the name of your website? I'll make sure to put it on the show notes, but from your website that they can find your social media pieces as well to follow. But would you like to say the name of your website?
00:54:59
Speaker
I have an Instagram account and I also have a Facebook page right now that I'm building a Patreon page for the ones who really want to get deep into what I'm doing right now. There are different art projects that I'm doing for
00:55:15
Speaker
with other artists as well. And the process has been a process, okay? So it's at the IG page that you're going to find. It's at the, as in Diana, Mogro Bejo, my last name.
00:55:31
Speaker
D. Mogrobejo and I'll make sure you guys have that, you'll have that in the show notes. And the website is D. Mogrobejo, yeah, but it's in building, yeah, I'm building it, so. Yeah, so that's in the building process. And in the meantime, you can go to Instagram or Facebook. And Facebook page is like decoupling things. You have a little bit more information there, yeah.
00:55:53
Speaker
perfect thank you so much and one last thing because I don't want to forget people to know what's happened also with your life you have now a granddaughter as well now yes so your your son was in and his wife have now another baby and what is your granddaughter's name her name is Miyuki Miyuki and that that's that she is how old now
00:56:22
Speaker
Um, she actually turned three years old. No, she's three. Yeah. She turned three. Yeah. In, in, in August. Um, so that in the end, that relationship, just because we were kind of like in that thing, your relationship with your son, with your sister-in-law and now with your granddaughter, how is that relationship? In one word, unbreakable. Oh,
00:56:47
Speaker
Man, that's goosebumps moment right there. Wow. The fact that you could choose one word, Amiga, that is beautiful. I got chills. Straight from the heart. That's probably going to be the title of this one, girl, of this podcast.
00:57:07
Speaker
Thank you. That is so beautiful. I love you too, Deedee. Thank you, Diana. I call you Deanna because I know you more as Deanna than Deedee, but thank you so much for sharing your journey and for sharing how this journey of grief has led you to now have this unbreakable relationship with your son and this unbreakable
00:57:33
Speaker
dynamic that you have with your art and with the world. So thank you. Thank you for having me here. It's a pleasure to be here with you all. It was my honor. Thank you.
00:57:55
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:58:23
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.