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EP 80: Social Media
1.7k Plays5 months ago
This week on Mom Group Chat, we’re diving into the world of social media—its highs, its lows, and everything in between. We’re sharing our thoughts on navigating this ever-evolving space, especially as moms raising kids in a digital-first world.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
- The pros and cons of social media: from connection and creativity to the challenges of comparison and overexposure.
- Our personal take on showing our kids on social media: What feels right, what gives us pause, and how we approach sharing.
- Why keeping the conversation open with our kids about social media is key to navigating this tricky landscape.
- A chat about the recent TikTok ban and its return: How it impacts users and what it says about the larger social media world.
Whether you’re grappling with your own social media use or thinking about how to help your kids thrive in a digital world, this episode offers perspective, laughs, and a healthy dose of real talk.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
Like there's no right way to do it.
00:00:11
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? My name is Candace and I'm here with my best friend Whitney and this is the mom group chat podcast.
Struggles with Child's Illness
00:00:22
Speaker
I am suffering. I am not well and neither is my child, which is why I'm not well.
00:00:31
Speaker
Put it in the book, babe. Tell me what's going on. Put it in the book. We, okay. So I posted this on mom group chat story. So I'm repeating myself, but Alice has been very ill. She has the flu and RSV. I also feel like I jinxed myself. Yeah. We had a very scary day on Monday. Her fever was like almost 105. I think it might've hit 105 at one point.
00:00:58
Speaker
And she was doing these very jarring shakes that to me were very abnormal. I've never seen any child, let alone my child, do those kinds of like jarring shakes. And she was doing this gasp noise whenever they would happen, like almost like if you were startled from a dream. like She would be like,
00:01:21
Speaker
And then she would do this like shake thing and I was like, Oh, fuck no. Like this is very weird. Like I just have a bad feeling. My mom got kicked in. We had had, um, we had a doctor's appointment at one 45 that day and those shakes.
00:01:37
Speaker
I saw it for the first time at noon but my mom said she had been doing them all day which was also the scary part like i don't know how many happened the doctors asked me that and i was like i don't know because i wasn't at the i had a work meeting that i had to go to.
00:01:54
Speaker
And I got home around noon and I saw it twice. And after the second time I saw it, I called Vinnie's dad immediately. And I was like, here's what's happening. I don't know. Her fever is so high. We've given her Tylenol. It hasn't come down. like it just got it ello It escalated so quickly. And he was like, go to the ER immediately. like She might be having febrile seizures.
00:02:18
Speaker
like um So we did. It was very scary, but they got us in like immediately and um gave her an extra like elevated dose of Motrin, I think is what it was. Also, the girl embarrassed me. Alice embarrassed me because the girl will not take medicine on her own here. I have to mix it with Gatorade. I've got to do all these special things in order to get her wouldn't you know it, we sit down and they put Motrin in this little syringe, like a normal syringe, put it in her mouth. The girl takes the whole thing without even making a face. I was like, you little bitch, you have been making a fool of me since you were born with medicine and you're just gonna sit here in front of these nurses and take this medicine like a champ. Like what the fuck is wrong with you? She was probably like, I feel so shitty. I don't care at this point. I digress. So I,
00:03:11
Speaker
Whatever. They gave her medicine. They took us back. Her heart rate was like, I don't know if I ever told you this, Winnie. Her heart rate was like one, almost 180. Oh, so she ran a marathon. Literally it was insane. Like her and they were like, we don't want you to leave until she has at least one P and her heart rate is like back down to a more normal rate. Yeah. So they tested her for everything. And lo and behold, it was positive for flu and RSV. And the RSV really threw me for a loop because at that moment she didn't have any respiratory symptoms. Like she, it was just the fever and body aches, body chills.
00:03:50
Speaker
So the flu I was fully expecting, to be honest. The RSV really threw me for a loop. And um after we ended up having a follow up with the pediatrician on Wednesday, which is the day that I came on stories, I was like, she's feeling so much better. We've turned a corner and I feel like I jinxed myself because we're back to like she's woken up with a fever two night, two morning the past two mornings, not super high, but like one hundred and one point five. And very fussy, very whiny, attached to me like a fucking barnacle, literally. Like, she won't let me put her down. She won't let anyone else touch her. Her naps are shitty because she just wants to sleep with me. Her sleeping is terrible. I haven't slept. She hasn't slept. We're just going through it over here. And my poor mom, I just got home and um she'd probably be mad at me for saying this, but she just, she Alice hasn't gone to school all week because she's not allowed.
00:04:48
Speaker
her Which also the flu is so bad at school right now and the RSV is so bad that I have to have a doctor's note permission to come back to school. Well, how do you get? I mean, I have to call her. Oh, I guess I have to call her pediatrician and be like, I need a note saying that she's allowed to come back to school. And they're going to ask when was her last fever?
00:05:10
Speaker
And she still has a fever right now, so I'm like, are we, are we, right? Are you telling me that on Monday I still might have to keep her home from school?
00:05:22
Speaker
i Listen, I will. I'm not going to be the super spreader girl, but I'm just like, God, we're going through it over here.
Social Media Challenges and Insights
00:05:30
Speaker
When they get something like the flu or like something that lasts for a long time and then you are having to like listen to the windiness all day and they're clinging to you, like it's it's so hard because you're their comfort. And at the same time, you're like,
00:05:49
Speaker
I am about to go insane. like I remember feeling like that when Graydon had hand, foot, and mouth, which is probably the worst he's ever felt. and It was 10 days. and it was I have like pictures of me, which is dramatic, of me like crying on my phone.
00:06:07
Speaker
on like day eight or day nine, like after we like turned a corner and then kind of like you said, and it's back and I just like start, there's a picture of me sobbing and I'm like, why did I take that myself? But now I'm like, I just remember feeling like this is nuts. And I feel crazy and disgusting because I haven't showered and they need me. yeah well Horrible. it's been It's been so hard. I'm not going to lie. The seizure thing is seriously so scary. like they ended up I was telling Chris, I was like, I don't care like who you are. like Chris, you're a medical professional and he even said the same thing. like Seeing someone have a seizure or knowing that your kid is having one is terrifying. like The way I would have had a panic attack.
00:06:59
Speaker
Just to be clear, also, I just want to make this clear. When we got to the emergency room, the doctors were unable to like see one. She didn't have one while we were there. And so they just had me describe them. And they were very clear with me that like they can they can't really confirm or deny whether she had them and unless she sees him. There's no like evidence after the fact. Yeah, I guess she unless they were. I mean, I don't even know. I assume maybe if they were to do like an MRI or something, maybe they could. But I don't fucking know. Not necessary. and Yeah, not necessary. So I don't know that that's what happened, but I've never seen anything like that. And from other moms in my mom group who have had one, they were like, you, it's jarring. And I was like, okay, it's the only thing I can think of that would be happening. i've I've never, believe me. No, that would have, even that, like the gasp of air, like,
00:07:55
Speaker
would have scared the shit out of me. like Knowing how how your kid is and like them never doing that ever before is weird. so yeah But man, it's like really tough. I feel like I'm in demand all the time with her. Like she wants, and it's not like physically like demanding in the sense, all she wants to do is lay with me. She just wants to be against my body, which is sweet when I really think about it. But like, I just am like, Oh my God, I haven't had any time to like, like my laundry behind the store right here behind me is so piled high. Like I have so much, I haven't even had a chance to do it.
00:08:35
Speaker
You know what I mean? like It's hard when... That's the glass ball rubber ball, baby. Yeah, totally. it's um It's hard when you're in it and it's like on day five and you're like, I'm going to go crazy. Everything's falling apart. And then you're like, she needs me. I'm her comfort. It's like, I guess I'll lean in and buy a book or audio book.
00:09:00
Speaker
and just lay here with you and whatever. Honestly, that's a good idea. I joined a book club with my mom group. I'm like, oh, well, when do I have time to read a book? But here I go. So and I'm pretty sure we're supposed to have the book done by January 31st, January 24th. If I get that audio book and I'm laying around all the time, honestly,
00:09:19
Speaker
Well, I mean, if she needs you and you're just sitting there and she falls asleep, like, what else are you going to do? Play on your phone. exactly I got that idea from Olivia because her daughter's been sick too. And she said she's just been reading Onyx Storm like everyone else in the world. So I was like,
00:09:36
Speaker
No wonder you're you've gotten so far ahead. I'm like, I'm on chapter four, and I've had it for three days. I've gotten nowhere. here By the way, in that's in the Iron Flame book, right? Yeah, like yeah the fourth wing. The fourth fourth wing, that's what it is. Because I had started listening to that audio, but then I only made it like a quarter of the way. And I was like, I think this is something I need to read. like I'm so visual. So I think I'm going to give it another try with my Kindle and read it rather than listen.
00:10:05
Speaker
For sure. I'm feeling FOMO. Everyone's talking about it, you know? Well, it's the gateway drug to reading in my opinion. And it just spirals from there. I'm excited because like I started a new series also by the same author, but it's a little daunting because they're fricking massive. So I was like kind of happy to put that one to the side and start on this book. Cause I know how good they are. I was like, I can't wait to like be excited to read. And you know, when you can't put it down and it's all you think about and you're like,
00:10:37
Speaker
I'm going to die if I don't finish this book immediately. so ah um yeah utter best feelinging Everyone's been saying it's like, okay, the first 20% is like meh. And then it's like the last half of it is like, holy shit. It's so good because people have finished it.
00:10:54
Speaker
I know I saw very random, but I ended up looking at like book talks or this girl, I don't know if you, you do follow like the unwell network, like Alex Cooper's podcast network on Instagram.
00:11:09
Speaker
They like are always you know they're announcing new shows. They're definitely like growing their podcast network. so um And well, if you're listening to this, send us a message. Do fit their MO? I think they need some funny moms that talk about nipple stimulation. I mean, it's just, I think we fit the mold. you know and The amount of people that told me that they thought that was hilarious, that you said that, I was like, that's my candace.
00:11:39
Speaker
Honestly, above all, I will tell you what I'm feeling and thinking all the time. Um, but anyways, I saw that they signed this book girl like to she's, so they have a book podcast on, on well network. I forgot the name of it now, but I, and anyways, I ended up on this girl's page to stalk her. I'm like, Oh, that's so interesting. I wouldn't pin that as like something they would really want, but she seems really popular on Tik TOK and her like book reviews are like a little unhinged and like,
00:12:12
Speaker
She had this compilation video of her. I guess she had never really read the Harry Potter series like. And so it was like this compilation of her reactions to all the Harry Potter books. And it was so funny. I have to send it to you like.
00:12:27
Speaker
It made me want to go back and read the Harry Potter books, honestly, but we watched anyways. We watched the movies like crazy when we first moved into this new house and we finally like hung up a TV and the kids went to bed or maybe it's actually just when Chris and I were here. It was like the very first night we're like.
00:12:44
Speaker
what do we watch like oh my god we're alone in our new house and we were like harry potter so we just turned on and then we ended up watching the whole series and then it was like all and all during christmas too so yeah i don't know i'm gonna dabble in some books soon i think Yeah, especially especially. Oh, this ties us into this. This ties us into the topic today, especially because social media is just a little bit of a scary place right now. OK. Yeah, for sure. Like, obviously, we're just past the inauguration. There's like political things happening and.
00:13:28
Speaker
Like, listen. I love social media for so many reasons. It's connected us to so many of our listeners. It connects me to so many other moms. There's so many corners of the internet and social media that I feel so seen and heard and like I find relatable. And then there are corners of social media that I'm like,
00:13:49
Speaker
this is bad for my mental health, I must exit. yeah and i just i mean I'm in this stage right now where I'm trying to be more conscious about my scrolling and how it makes my brain feel because it doesn't always make my brain feel warm and fuzzy. you know Yeah and speaking of like the whole TikTok ban that happened and then came back and it just feels like so different to me now. I'm like, what am I watching? Like I caught myself, you know, I always get in the bed and I'll like,
00:14:27
Speaker
That's like my tick talk time. I don't watch it during the day. I watch it when I get in bed at night and then I get tired and I put on a podcast. That's my routine. And I was like scrolling last night. I'm like, what the hell has happened? Like, I don't yeah like anything anymore.
00:14:43
Speaker
Okay. Well, I think that my algorithm is totally different after it was banned and then came back. Like I don't see any of my normal, you know, we've talked on this podcast about how like your algorithm is so tailored to you and like what's on your algorithm is different than what's on mine. And my algorithm right now is weird. It's not me. And A lot of people have been saying that though. And I mean, like some of it will come up and I'm like, okay, yeah, maybe that was my thing. I like, I don't know. It's like new. It's like refreshed or something. I liked or watched one video of a walkthrough of a parade of homes thing. And now all I'm getting is parade of homes like stuff.
00:15:27
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, I don't care about Galveston, Texas homes. like Please, like i I don't want to watch this. like And now I'm in Utah, great. And then it's like random Trump stuff all over my page and Barron being, I like my suitcase, which that is funny, but it's just like, what the hell?
00:15:48
Speaker
um really I haven't seen that yet. No. Okay. Well, that's like old. That was like November. yeah Oh, I never saw that.
00:15:58
Speaker
I like my suitcase was a video of Baron when he was really little. and And it's a video of him like with a Slavic accent because of his mother. And so he goes, I like my suitcase. And everyone's like, what? And people are saying like they haven't really heard him talk since being in the White House. So they're like, what's his accent now? Because when he was little, he had one.
00:16:23
Speaker
That's all that is. Got it. OK. They made a whole song out of it as one does when, of course, something classic. my rock Classic tick tock. So, yeah, there was a time where I couldn't stop saying it. So, yeah.
00:16:39
Speaker
Well, I mean, I still obviously am on TikTok here and there, but I've been really trying to be conscious of my scrolling. And I don't know. Sometimes you just got to check yourself when it comes to social media. And like I always.
00:16:57
Speaker
I don't know. even that This is with so many aspects of your life. like Change starts with awareness. and like to just There are times where I've been scrolling and I will literally pause and just like bring my awareness to like, what am I doing right now? Why am I looking at this? Why did I even pull this up? like And it's hard for me because so much of my work is on social media a lot of the time. like I manage many paid like clients' pages, I create a lot of social media content for clients, so I'm in Instagram. like If you look at my screen time, it's not accurate, honestly, because I'm doing work whenever I'm in social ... It'll probably say my Instagram time is 12 hours a day or something, but like if I am working a full day, like I'm in Instagram a lot.
00:17:44
Speaker
yeah so Something that's on the horizon for me, I think, is to get a separate phone that I only manage clients and work social media on so that I can have that separation of like, because I also get all my clients' notifications and like- Oh God, that would drive me nuts, I think. Yeah, it's crazy. It really is. It's enough with mine and mom group chat. It's a lot.
00:18:14
Speaker
Yeah, it's a lot for sure. I don't know. I mean, I think one of the reasons we wanted to have like a full conversation about social media was just like. Do we feel comfortable sharing our kids on social media? Like what are our thoughts on that? There are so many like celebrities or influencers who don't show their kids. And um I don't know, I have like I don't know. I want to hear your take on that. I don't know. I really haven't like put a ton of thought into how I'm sharing my kids on there just because I don't know. It doesn't seem to be like an issue. I don't know if like my, if, if I grew in like numbers and had like a ton and ton of people looking at my stuff, then yeah, maybe I might change my mind. But right now I'm like,
00:19:10
Speaker
I don't know. I feel fine about it. Yeah. I don't know. How do you feel? I i ah genuinely am one of those people that like, I just enjoy sharing my life on social media. I am not shy if you couldn't tell. And I also am not an overly like, I'm not an overly anxious person or like an overly like,
00:19:37
Speaker
over analyzer, I guess you would say. like Most of the time I post on social media and like I don't even think twice about it. like i'm not I'm not really like analyzing who's seeing this, who's and like maybe there's a part of me that should. And as ah as like our show grows and if I continue to grow social media, that maybe will be things that I think about. But the truth is for me, like I just enjoy sharing my life and my kids are a part of that. So I will always or not always, but I will, for the foreseeable future, like continue to share them and what they're doing and how they are. and And if at any point, Alice or Evie come to me and they're like, I don't really want that, that'll be the end of it. like You know what I mean? like I think
00:20:25
Speaker
there will come a time when our kids are in, you know, middle school or high school where we have bigger conversations about social media and how I'm showing them or how they show up themselves. I think social media can be a really scary place for kids. um And I do want to try to protect my girls from that for a while. um Have you ever heard of the campaign called Wait Till Eighth?
00:20:56
Speaker
Yeah, I think you've talked about this with Shannon before. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I probably have. So there's a there's a campaign that is common called Wait Till 8th, and it's about like waiting till eighth grade till your kids get a cell phone. um And I that's something I really want to try to stick to. I don't really want them having like phones with access to the Internet until they're at least like 12 or 13, honestly.
00:21:25
Speaker
um I just never know how I'm going to feel about these things. like Becoming a mom, like nothing humbles you more than you you look like a fool when you're like, I'm going to do all these things until you become a mom or until you they get to that age. And you're like, I'm a damn fool for thinking I'd never let my kid watch TV.
00:21:48
Speaker
I'm a damn fool for thinking I was only going to feed them organic forever. I'm a damn fool thinking I was going to breastfeed and my child because that's what you do. Nothing makes you realize like it's just how how it is in the moment. what I don't know how old they are, what's their temperament, like what's going on at school like until you can like choose what you want to do to fix the situation. but Honestly, I'm so happy that you said that. That really is such a good statement. Because there are so many things I said I was going to do, specifically the organic, eating healthier. I try my best, but honestly, you already know my kid's favorite food is Kraft deluxe mac and cheese. So clearly, I'm not succeeding exactly, but
00:22:43
Speaker
you know what, like, they're happy. And I think you're right, it will depend. There's so many like extra circumstances that can happen. Like, what are the kids at school? Like, what are they doing? Like, what is that? like Yeah, what's Yeah, like, ah you know, it also could just come down to like, are they extroverted or introverted that could, like, determine whether or not they want it or not, you know, like,
00:23:09
Speaker
I think it's good to have that goal though of like eighth grade, but it's just like, I just don't want to put anything in a box that this is what I'm going to do or this is how it's going to be. Like, I don't know if things just change ever so change and.
00:23:24
Speaker
I don't know. it's It's like how you said you're you want to post the kids because they are in your life and and it's like, okay, well, I also don't want like something bad to happen for me to like all of a sudden change all that. It's kind of like knowing that there are sharks in the ocean, but you still go in the ocean type thing because yeah it's worth the risk to be in the water you know so it's like i want to share my kids because they are a part of my life and um the better part of my life so i don't know it's it is do what you want to do but this is kind of like how i live yeah
00:24:01
Speaker
I think the thing that's most important for me is just keeping the conversations open with with my girls about social media. like Even the way I'm navigating it now, like if Alice, as she gets older, asks me a question about social media or or how I'm keeping in contact with someone like i or things that make me feel icky on social media. like there' I'm not going to lie, there have been times where I'm scrolling, she's sitting next to me or something, and she'll see a video. and like I know those questions are going to be asked, and I think what's most important
00:24:37
Speaker
as we move forward and our kids get older, they start to face these different parts of the world that they don't really access yet, is that the conversation is open for them to ask questions and to have real conversations with them. Because I think what would be the least helpful is for us to just say, you can't have that until you're in eighth grade. Yeah, for real. For real. Which I could say, right?
00:25:02
Speaker
It's also the conversation of why I feel that way and then for them to challenge me with questions. So yeah, I think it's just important to keep those conversations open because I think the worst thing you can do is just say no and not give a reason and not have the conversation be open because that's just going to make them want it more honestly. Oh, every time. i mean and the I think what is inevitable is that social media is not going anywhere. Our kids are going to be on social media, whether it's at 10, whether it's at 18, whether it's at 25.
00:25:37
Speaker
social media is a part of our society right now. And what I want as a mom is for them to always feel comfortable to come to me with an issue or a problem or like something that makes them laugh. Like I want them to share those things with me because ultimately it's going to help me advocate for them and help them if as long as they feel comfortable to come to me and be like, Hey, I saw something weird. Like what is this?
00:26:06
Speaker
You know and I think they do like I always say like I'm kind of thankful we had kids when we did because I think of my sister who has you know 10 year olds and I'm like man they are like kind of like the test subject of the iPad kid thing and having the internet having YouTube watching it constantly like playing roblox or whatever the frick that is and it's like They're kind of the test subject and it's like we're going to learn a lot from that generation of children on like what they see is like what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing, like what are they finding from having the iPad in their face so young? Like is it really such a detriment or is it just a detriment socially? Like I'm very curious to see like what comes out of that.
00:26:56
Speaker
Yeah. no It's so true. It's so true. And I think it's, I think as the show progresses, is something we've talked about is having a mom on that has older kids and teens and to get their perspective of what they've seen, like, what has it really been like? Cause I don't know, like all, all you know, my sister's friends and her, including herself, like,
00:27:21
Speaker
They all have iPads and headphones ah when we go out to eat, like all of them. And I'm like, is this like how it is all the time? Like no judgment. Like they're quiet as a mouse. The adults are having fun, but it's like they all don't talk to each other. They're just like in their own lane. Yeah. Man, is this how it is with older kids? I don't know. Or is this just like how y'all decided to do it?
00:27:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's interesting because like that doesn't make me feel great thinking about that. I want our kids to like talk to each other and, you know, yeah. And I've kind of gotten to a point where I'm like, I don't know if we, if they suggest like, let's go out to eat to Mexican, which is like the easy thing for me with the toddlers. Right. And I'm like, uh, going out to eat with you and your kids aren't that fun because they play on their iPad. Mm hmm.
00:28:15
Speaker
And like, no hate, but that's what they do. And I'm like, I don't really, I don't know, like Graydon's going to be sitting there, like looking at a wall instead of like, so I don't know. It's tough. Like, ah I don't know. Is that going to be me in a few years? Never say never. I don't know. I know. I know. Like it could be, who knows? Mama just wants her margarita in peace. This is how it happens. Right.
00:28:40
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. It's just going to be such a it's definitely one of the more daunting things to think about as we as our kids get older, yeah because there's just the Internet is so far and wide and deep, like, i've you know.
00:28:57
Speaker
Like I said, I think if, as long as you, like you said, not me, as long as you stay on top of like what's happening and we're getting closer to that age where they get phones or have the iPad constantly. Like mine gets it on road trips. Like he doesn't have it constantly, but like when they get to the point where they have it constantly, whenever that is, I don't know if I'll ever allow that. I don't know. It's just being on the know of like what,
00:29:27
Speaker
Yeah, what it is, but I was going to say like to kind of switch gears on social media in general, like not just kids, You know, I'm on this like, um, health, like, you know, I had on the last podcast that I hit my brick wall moment. And for me, a lot of it is that comparison game. Oh yeah. Um, for sure. I mean, on all aspects, like, Oh, that kid's the same age and she's saying more words than Margo is, or it could be,
00:29:58
Speaker
Man, that mom had a kid, and it's eight months, and she looks better than me in clothes than I do, and Margot's 16 months old. It's like, that's the part that is hard sometimes. yeah Like, how did they do that?
00:30:14
Speaker
Yeah, it really is a mind fuck, excuse my language, but it is and it's this kind of takes it back to like what I said about just awareness. Like I have gotten pretty good at like just being aware when I start to have these thoughts of like jealousy or like comparison to where I'm like, okay, it's time to step away and like focus on my kids. Like look at look at all the amazing things I have.
00:30:44
Speaker
There's definitely, and something I tell myself all the time is like, there's 100% someone looking at my page thinking, wow, I don't know what they're thinking, but hopefully it's positive, okay? You know, like- This is a badass, like she owns her own business and runs ah a successful podcast. Like, holy shit, with two beautiful girls. I mean, the comments that we got on how cute Alice was, I was like, that was so sweet.
00:31:13
Speaker
i know we did get a lot of really everyone was like oh my god alice is the cutest baby angel i've ever seen and i thought that was so sweet yeah no it is for sure but that's what i'm saying like and there's 100 i can look at anyone's page and be like oh Damn, that's amazing. Look at that. That's so cool or that's so amazing or she's so beautiful or wow, her house is nicer than mine. Like you could play that comparison game with any page. And so I kind of try to flip it on its head by being like, someone's looking at my page thinking, wow.
00:31:49
Speaker
look at her life, look at her beautiful girls, you know, whatever. Like, and it's, it's, yeah. ah Sadly, like, I think it all comes down to like awareness and just being mindful of your own thoughts and like training them to stop seeing what you don't have.
00:32:09
Speaker
I always think of that you're not, I don't think an Olivia Rodrigo fan necessarily, but she has that song called Jealousy Jealousy. And it's like, so one of the lines in the song is like, yeah someone else's win is not your loss. For sure. Like, it's just their win, you know, and you also have wins happening. It's like, you know, you just get caught up in the I don't know. a Also, the other thing to remember is like social media is a highlight reel. Oh, my God. Even with me the past four months. Do you know how shit has been behind the scenes? It is not good, my friends. Not good. Vinny and I have been this close to the brink of divorce. I'm not kidding. I mean, yes, that's like kidding, but also not kidding. You know, like I don't think we're actually going to do anything.
00:33:01
Speaker
Candice, this is probably the hardest thing you as a family will ever go through in your life, like losing yeah your home, your belongings, being misplaced for months upon months. like This is probably literally the hardest thing you will ever go through.
00:33:20
Speaker
yeah It doesn't come without fights. And I mean, having to make those decisions together when not everyone thinks the same, like that is bound to fricking happen. And y'all are coming out on the other side. Yeah. We're on that. We're at the end. We're at the end, my friends, but it's been so tough. And that's what I'm saying. Like people could probably look at my Instagram page right now and be like, oh, they're fine. Like they're fine. We're not fine.
00:33:47
Speaker
But we are. We are now. We're on the brink. But like that's what I'm saying. like I also tried to remind myself that what I'm seeing on social media is not always like what's actually truly happening in people's lives. There's so much going on behind the scenes that we don't see. And it's none of our business, you know? Yeah. And it's none of our business. ah day I do appreciate the accounts that try to keep it real and tell us okay. Today is a day I just... like That's one of the reasons I love Olivia. like Even her stories today, I'm like, thank God, someone else is in the trenches with me. like I appreciate the people that keep it real. and We need to post on our stories. like
00:34:31
Speaker
You know, hey, yeah, this is the pretty wallpaper I got in Mario's room. Here's the rest of my house. And it's like toys everywhere. The playrooms upside down. And it's like, well, I got one room clean. You know, it's it is. Yeah, it's so true. Smoke and mirrors. One hundred percent.
00:34:49
Speaker
Oh, but you know, what can you do? It just is what it is. And I feel at this very moment, like I feel a little bit like taking space from socials because of everything that's going on. But there are definitely moments where I'm like in and I love the content I'm seeing and I love it's inspiring me or it's like motivating me to work out or motivating me to clean my house. or there's There's so many good parts, but like I think it's important to remember that social media and your relationship with social media can be a wave of like sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down, and that's okay. If you want to take some time off, it's okay. If you want to scroll for six hours at a time, that's okay.
00:35:37
Speaker
like I don't know. I should also say Pinterest is such a drama free ah haven. If you are having a hard time with social media, I just am going to tell you just go to Pinterest and scroll. I love Pinterest so much. I'm i'm having a deep love affair with Pinterest at the moment.
00:35:56
Speaker
Well, it's all inspiring. And. I mean, I'm obsessed with it, too. I use it daily to to inspire me what I want to do with my house, what I want to do with kids parties. But I kind of talked on the last episode that a lot of times I feel like it does have to do with this time of year or something about spring and the spring colors
Positive Aspects of Social Media
00:36:18
Speaker
that come out and it gets warm out like the content changes and people are outside and they're going out to totally. It's like, oh, this is fun again.
00:36:26
Speaker
Like ah all the pretty dresses and I totally like I don't know. I think it's going to be on the up and up. It's been this this January has been a long year. It really has been not going to lie. It's been tough.
00:36:41
Speaker
That always happens. January fills like a year. And then February, March is like fast. I mean, OK, there's a lot of negative things to say about social media, obviously, or like the things you could see as negative. But like to me, the positives outweigh like the negatives of social media. Like there are so many moms and friends and, you know,
00:37:07
Speaker
like Literally some of my closest friends are people I've never met in person and I've only met online. Like Kate, Kate Scholte was on the show, my BFF Kate, is a close friend of mine now. We've never met in real life. like That's weird, but amazing.
00:37:22
Speaker
It's how you stay connected to people. i mean Truthfully, like ah you know when I moved back here from Rhode Island, and if I hadn't seen that this random girl, Alyssa, had a baby the same time as me that happened to be friends with a girl I used to work with, I would have never reached out to her and her becoming like one of my very best friends in Nashville. like It just wouldn't have happened if i if social media didn't exist. like Mom group chat wouldn't exist if social media didn't exist. like one thousand per time We wouldn't be connecting with so many people, so many people that like <unk> know feel the same way we do or going through something so similar. it's
00:38:03
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like and this totally been i mean like at least mom group chat for us has been like rainbowy. I don't think 100%. I agree. I literally like I wouldn't have gotten through motherhood until this point without social media. Like I found my mom group Q1 moms through social media on Facebook and baking little babes. I found Yeah, like the community we've built on here. And then there's also something to be said about all of the amazing creators on social media who have helped me find the right products or helped me find my mom's style.
00:38:43
Speaker
or who have literally just written poems or stories or whatever that put my feelings that I don't know how to express into actual words. like There have been things I've read that that I feel about motherhood or postpartum or life about marriage, whatever, that I don't know how to express, but these people have put it onto paper in such a way that I'm like, oh my God, that's what I've been feeling.
00:39:10
Speaker
And that is so beautiful. Like, honestly, I've never had a genuine thought in my life. Wow. Everyone else i'll be out here be feeling the same or doing the same. I'm like, okay, well, at least they're that's comforting.
00:39:29
Speaker
Well, I also think about, and maybe your mom has said the same thing. My mom says all the time how lucky we are to have social media actually because it there are things that she went through as a mom, as a new mom, that no one ever talked about because there was no social media and no one in her tight circles like talked about these things. And so my mom will see things now on social media and be like, Oh my God, that is how I felt. And like, I wish someone like She was like, it would have changed my life as a young mom in the 80s or 90s to see that someone else going through that. like It would have changed her life. and I do think there's a lot of things like that. that
00:40:13
Speaker
make me feel so seen and like I'm not alone or that I'm not doing a bad job. no You know? Yeah. There is a slice of it where it that makes you more knowledgeable, like even like circling back to the beginning of sickness, like recognizing signs. Like I've never heard of like Croup until I had kids. Not that mine have had it. I probably just jinxed myself.
00:40:37
Speaker
and it But um, It's like, OK, I know now from like everyone talking or seeing a video, what a group cough sounds like. And I'm like, OK, I would I wouldn't know what the frick that was until like, thank God I've seen that. Like I can recognize things just from social media. So there
Personal Stories and Reflections
00:40:57
Speaker
are good parts. Imagine us looking through all the encyclopedias that we had, like every single letter had one. Remember those? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. One hundred percent.
00:41:08
Speaker
Well, oh my favorite was um did you have a favorite letter?
00:41:13
Speaker
Oh, this is such a witty thing, but no, I didn't. My. Let's hear it. Let's do it. My favorite letter was L. I loved learning about lightning.
00:41:28
Speaker
I don't know why. You know Tampa's the lightning capital of the world. Of course I knew that. I read about it 500 times. and There was a picture of a lightning strike on a golf course was the picture. I don't know why I was like fascinated with it. ah I was like, honestly, I think I was so scared that it one would hit my house growing up because I was scared of storms. i This all goes back to like me going through a tornado in first grade.
00:41:56
Speaker
ah just become ah yeah I became obsessed with like something happening, like lightning hitting my house. But um yeah, I read all about it all the time. Okay. Now this is taking us on a serious tangent, but I'm just going to follow it. Okay. Did you ever go to Universal Studios as a child? Like it would this was back in the 90s, early 2000s. I was five.
00:42:17
Speaker
Did you do the twister thing where it literally simulated a- Is this back where they had the big aunt, or not aunts, it was, honey, I shrunk the kids thing? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, yes.
00:42:32
Speaker
Well, they like simulated like a tornado and it was like a soundstage kind of like you stood and watch like an audience but the scene in front of you was like the house was uh-huh okay I remember that it was traumatic though and I had never been through that and I was there watching it when I was probably like four or five and I remember screaming and sobbing and being like that like but I can never sit through that again. like It was so scary. And then, like do you remember when we had the tornado in Tuscaloosa? Everyone that I talked to started to have dreams about tornadoes after that. Tornadoes are low-key traumatic. like i'm They are traumatic.
00:43:16
Speaker
No, they're so scary. So are hurricanes. Now Candice is going to dream of hurricanes forever. alex ma alreadyy I already like, like I'm already thinking ahead to like hurricane season this year and like what I would do differently and like Yeah, I yeah, I have more to say about that. I'm sure y'all will be prepped and ready forever. Yeah, it'll it's changed the way I show up for hurricanes for sure. They're not romantic anymore. No.
00:43:50
Speaker
No. No, I made a grave mistake. That's saying that old Candace. She said, your name has changed within me. Something is not the same. um Have you seen Wicked? Of course you did. OK, sorry. Wow, I panicked. And I've also go watched it at home. Me too.
00:44:12
Speaker
And great Alice likes it for ah for an hour. He like kind of was into it. And someone at work was like, oh, yeah, my daughter asked me to go back and and watch it again. I said, you know, it's on TV now. Like you didn't have to go do that. Yeah. Silly. um Yeah. Alice loves the music and sings the songs. She loves it. So cute. Raising her right. It is. It gets stuck in your head. Oh, my gosh. And I saw Ariana got nominated.
00:44:41
Speaker
Yeah. Ariana got nominated for it. So did Cynthia. Yeah. Like, man, have we talked about this already? How or is this just you and I how like seeing Ariana in that role, like I didn't really like listen to her music or like care to follow her until I watched that movie. And I was like, she was the cutest little thing in that movie. I think I've always kind of liked her. She's had a couple like off eras, I think. But for the most part, I like her and I've always been like, damn, her voice is so good. Oh, I mean, you cannot deny that she has pipes, but like one of the voices of our generation for sure. You cannot deny. Yeah. and deny that um I'm sure we'll have more combos about social media as our kids get older and everything. But for the most part, I'm loving it. I am
00:45:33
Speaker
happy TikToks back, I think. I'm not quite happy about the way it returned, but that's very different. Hold on, I do have to send you this. I do need to say this because you know what I think about if I think about this as if I had like a 13 year old daughter and like say she's freshly 13 and flynn she just got her phone, like you said, eighth grade, and she's obsessed with tick TikTok. All she does is dance and you're like you're the mom and you're so annoyed and you feel for one frickin' day that it's gone and how like hopeful you are and then it came back. I feel for those moms a little bit. Honestly, that is so true. Wow, I never thought about it like that. I hadn't seen anything about it, but I think
00:46:23
Speaker
Oh, I bet they were so happy to have their daughter back for a second. And then it came back immediately. And I was like, oh, that's gone. Yeah. Well, I saw this. I sent it to my brother. And this is all I'm going to say about the tick tock return. It says, gather from this what you will. But um it says, remember in Frozen when Hans pretends to be the savior, but his goal is to manufacture a crisis and resolve it to take over the kingdom. That's all.
00:46:55
Speaker
And you have to you have to admit, it's strikingly similar. He manufactured a crisis, literally. Wow. Yeah. This is where we are.
Podcast Closing
00:47:05
Speaker
This is where we are. You can find us on Instagram, at momgroupchat. Oh, Lord. All right. Well, love you guys.
00:47:15
Speaker
Love you so much. And we'll see you on our Instagram and Facebook at us. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.