Transcript
Speaker: Hi guys and welcome to the Glam Rooper podcast.
Speaker: We have another episode lined up for you today.
Speaker: And today we're talking about the stories and the legacies that we leave behind.
Speaker: Okay, first of all, how you know, Mallory was the record, brought us together.
Speaker: Tell me how you know her, tell me what you do, tell me a bit about you and...
Speaker: Yeah, I'll tell you all the things.
Speaker: So Mallory and I actually just got connected about a month ago, probably.
Speaker: She just reached out over email.
Speaker: So she runs a company obviously dealing with lots of people, maybe towards the end of their life or families that are dealing with funerals and that side of things.
Speaker: No Story Lost, which is a company that I run, deals with capturing people's stories.
Speaker: And oftentimes that means we're chatting with older people who are maybe starting to think about reflecting on life, looking forward to the next few years.
Speaker: So that's how we got connected with Mallory.
Speaker: A little bit more about myself.
Speaker: I have my hand at a few different things.
Speaker: So with most of my time, I run a charity called Meal Share.
Speaker: We work with restaurants across Canada to provide meals to youth in need.
Speaker: So we've got a goal of ending youth hunger, or at least being able to tell our grandkids that there's no more youth hunger in this world.
Speaker: There's a quote that we very much like that says, if your life's work can be accomplished during your lifetime, then you're not dreaming big enough.
Speaker: So yeah, we figured let's pick an ambitious goal and try to get there.
Speaker: And then another thing I do with a bunch of my time is run No Story Lost.
Speaker: So we are a company that helps families capture their loved ones' amazing stories and keep them around forever.
Speaker: Records, CDs.
Speaker: So what we work in, our end product is a book.
Speaker: So beautiful coffee table book that families get.
Speaker: With photos written nicely, it flows nicely, but it's also in the storyteller's words.
Speaker: And so
Speaker: To get there, to get to that beautiful coffee table book, we do interviews.
Speaker: So not unlike us chatting today, we hop on a phone call and get to hear all the great stories from one of our storytellers.
Speaker: They'll tell us about their childhoods, tell us about their formative years, great stories like their first kiss or their first crush, their favorite pet as a child, their favorite gift they ever got.
Speaker: They'll tell us about school, the time they pulled a prank on the teacher, whatever it is.
Speaker: They'll tell us about university and falling in love.
Speaker: maybe breaking up, tell us about their wedding and kids and their careers.
Speaker: And then we get to ask some fun questions about looking back on life and what kind of advice they'd like to give to the next generation and what kind of legacy they'd like to live and all those sorts of things.
Speaker: So those interviews, we take those and transcribe them, edit them, rewrite them so they flow nicely and then they make their way into that beautiful book I mentioned earlier.
Speaker: So this, the person is living?
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: We do also have an option for people who have passed away.
Speaker: So we'll occasionally get emails from families that say, you know, my grandpa passed away or my dad passed away this year.
Speaker: We'd love to capture some of the stories.
Speaker: So occasionally they'll come to us and say, you know, maybe they did some recording themselves or sat down with them some Thanksgiving dinner and just wrote down some notes so they can send those to us.
Speaker: We can do sort of the same process through that.
Speaker: And in cases where
Speaker: They might not have those resources, they might not have written anything down or actually sat down with a video camera or their phone to actually capture it.
Speaker: We can do projects where we just interview loved ones.
Speaker: So we might get a couple kids together and a couple grandkids to all tell their favorite stories about their grandpa or whoever it happens to be.
Speaker: can create stories for people who are alive and alive.
Speaker: It's wonderful.
Speaker: It's actually quite timely for me at the moment because I'm working on one that rather than obviously because of COVID we can't all join together for funerals and memorial services which has made my job pretty much obsolete for the moment.
Speaker: But what's wonderful is how creatively we are coming together and
Speaker: Okay, physically we can't be together, but virtually we can.
Speaker: And there are just other ways for us to show our support for families.
Speaker: And I'm working with a family at the moment that are actually doing a documentary and like a sort of a This Is Your Life.
Speaker: the show it's sort of an ode to this this gentleman um and it will be a 60 minute documentary on his life so much similar to what you're talking about except not in book form but it is it's incredible it's an incredible thing and it's funny because i gave my mom i'm obviously irish um and
Speaker: in case anybody listening hasn't heard me waffle on about Ireland, you know.
Speaker: But I am from Ireland and I'm living here in New York and I've always had this interest in the funeral business for as long as I can remember.
Speaker: And I've always been interested in sort of keeping memories.
Speaker: I mean, I must have boxes of memories and old letters.
Speaker: Actually, I was talking to
Speaker: A couple of friends of mine from Irish College.
Speaker: It's the Gwaeltaught, we call it in Ireland, but it's Irish College.
Speaker: And most people, when you come of age, sort of around the age of like 15 or like 14, 15, 16, you go to Irish College for three weeks in the summer and you learn Irish.
Speaker: That's tech.
Speaker: That's the reason your parents send you.
Speaker: You go to meet boys.
Speaker: or I went to be boys as did most of my most of my female friends.
Speaker: And, you know, we learned Kayleigh dancing and all these amazing Irish things.
Speaker: But anyway, we were going, we had, we've stayed in touch.
Speaker: I mean, we're 20 years friends now and there was there were three of us and
Speaker: We got together over Zoom last weekend and a few cocktails and we were just talking about the past and how incredible it was and the, you know, the shenanigans we got up to, you know, the different stories.
Speaker: And it was amazing.
Speaker: And I thought to myself, God, you know, I wish I was recording this because if there's anything I learn in this business that I work in is that one person can be missing a year from now or even a day from now or a week from now.
Speaker: It's really amazing.
Speaker: Unfortunately, that's just life.
Speaker: But what we were laughing about was that I have kept all our letters because back 20 years ago, we didn't have the internet.
Speaker: I mean, we had the internet, but we didn't have it like we have it today.
Speaker: We didn't FaceTime, we didn't Zoom, we didn't text.
Speaker: I mean, I think the first mobile phone was out.
Speaker: And so we wrote letters and I have boxes of these letters and the girls couldn't believe I still had them.
Speaker: So I've always been interested in sort of preserving memories.
Speaker: And one of the girls is actually incredible at visually preserving those menus.
Speaker: She has photo albums and photo albums and photo albums.
Speaker: It's I mean, it's it's a time gone past.
Speaker: It's you know, photos are not in the attics anymore.
Speaker: They're not in your basement.
Speaker: They're not in boxes.
Speaker: They're online.
Speaker: They're on your Facebook, on your Instagram.
Speaker: So it is becoming obsolete, which is really scary.
Speaker: So something like what you're doing, I think, is incredible in terms of getting it all together and.
Speaker: putting it together for somebody's memorial or for a funeral or that the copies can be made and it can be shared.
Speaker: But one of the things that I have, one of the questions I have for you is many years ago, as I said, I'm into keeping the memories and
Speaker: I found this little book and I love these type of things.
Speaker: Like I will buy these for like people randomly, but I bought this little book and it was basically what you're probably describing or the questions you ask.
Speaker: And it was answer a question a day for a year, 365 questions.
Speaker: And it was to my mother and it was little things like your first kiss, you know, the first crush, all these things that you want to find out about, right?
Speaker: And I gave it to her and I was so excited to get it back.
Speaker: You know, I really was like, yes, this is gonna be so cool.
Speaker: And I think she filled out one page and that was it.
Speaker: I was like, woman, this was like, I was so excited for it.
Speaker: It's still collecting dust somewhere, but it's probably a door stopper at home.
Speaker: How do you get people talking?
Speaker: How do you get the stories out of them?
Speaker: So I think, first of all, we've heard that story a lot of times.
Speaker: I gave my parents this thing and I wanted them to do it.
Speaker: And it's just, it's tough.
Speaker: It's tough to do.
Speaker: And the first day is so exciting.
Speaker: And who has the time?
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: Who has the time these days?
Speaker: I get it.
Speaker: Yeah, so really that's...
Speaker: That's why we created the company because we know that there's so many stories like yours where people want to do this, they try something, maybe they write down some notes or maybe they did a quick interview, but it's just tough to bring across the finish line.
Speaker: So with No Story Lost, there's not as much of that kind of issues because we set up a time for it.
Speaker: So our team schedules a time to talk to a parent or a loved one
Speaker: And then we have an hour dedicated where they're sitting down, they grab a cup of tea or coffee, and we just get to ask them questions that pique their interest and they get to talk about themselves.
Speaker: Most of the time, we don't find that it's a big struggle for us to get somebody to be chatting.
Speaker: Most of the time they're excited about it, they know that they wanna do this for their family.
Speaker: With that said, obviously some people are more chatty than others, but some people aren't as chatty as others.
Speaker: So there's a, yeah, we have a whole bunch of questions to kind of break the ice, get people going, really get in there.
Speaker: That's one of the things we're great at is getting people who are maybe a little bit more reluctant to tell their story, to chat in a way that they're excited about and tell their stories.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's I think the physical element of sitting there and being like, OK, you know, now we're going to talk about it.
Speaker: And exactly to your point is sometimes you need those questions to break the ice.
Speaker: I even know for myself, I've sat down and worked out a pre-plan with my mum.
Speaker: So I know what she would like for her funeral, which anybody that listens to this show is going to know how much I love pre-planning.
Speaker: But if you're new to the show, pre-planning is where it's at.
Speaker: It's really important.
Speaker: I think it's such an essential part.
Speaker: If you have a will, you need a pre-plan and it saves massive amount of family issues, arguments, all of that sort of stuff.
Speaker: But again, I know if I left the document with her and said, just fill that out, mom, like in the appendix of my first book is literally if you answer every question in my book,
Speaker: you will have done a pre-plan and you can hand it to your family member.
Speaker: It's done.
Speaker: But equally, I know if I've because I've left documents, I've left things like what I just told you about the book to my mom and it goes, collects dust in a drawer and that's the end of it.
Speaker: Whereas when you sit down and in this particular instance, two of us sat down with a couple of vodka Diet Cokes, which is our mother daughter drink back home and we cried and we laughed and we did it and it was amazing.
Speaker: And I do think these type of legacy videos and legacy books, I mean, I know they've been around a little bit and I know it was famously on the Kardashians.
Speaker: Kris Jenner got a legacy video done for MJ, I think is her mom or something.
Speaker: I don't really know.
Speaker: I actually don't watch the show, but I watched that episode.
Speaker: Anything funeral related.
Speaker: I'm in.
Speaker: It's so weird.
Speaker: But I think it's I do think it's really, really important.
Speaker: What do you do with the person that is really awkward, though, and is just sort of like, I don't I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, why did they like maybe maybe say, for example, if I bought this for my mom, right?
Speaker: And my mom was like, I don't know, I don't remember these things.
Speaker: Like, do you have a time frame?
Speaker: Are you sitting in front of your right, Olivia, we have an hour.
Speaker: It's my mom's name.
Speaker: Do we do, you know, we have an hour and do you just keep at her until something comes out or do you have any tricks to loosen people up?
Speaker: Yeah, a couple tricks for sure.
Speaker: So one of the things that we run into is occasionally somebody like you will come to us and say, I would love to do this.
Speaker: I know if I try and do it on my own, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker: I'm busy, I work, I have kids, whatever happens.
Speaker: So you do this.
Speaker: And we say, great.
Speaker: Then they go to their parent and they say, we've got this amazing idea.
Speaker: We've lost capture stories.
Speaker: We want to put them in a book.
Speaker: And their parent, maybe like your mom, might say, no, not my thing.
Speaker: I don't want to do it.
Speaker: So one of the biggest tips that we have is just having that conversation in a careful way and telling a parent or a loved one why this is important to you.
Speaker: So why is it important for me to hear my dad's stories?
Speaker: Well, I don't remember all of them.
Speaker: He's told me them, but I don't remember all of them.
Speaker: There's something that I don't even know that I'll learn through this interview.
Speaker: And
Speaker: I think importantly for a lot of people is to say, you know, if I have kids one day, I'd love for my kids to get to know my dad the way that I know him.
Speaker: And he's not around.
Speaker: Yeah, we all are going to get emotional.
Speaker: I'm sure it happens.
Speaker: It's gotta happen every podcast party.
Speaker: I haven't been home in over a year, which is so unusual for me.
Speaker: Anyway, continue.
Speaker: That's one big tip is to not just say, Hey, we want to do this book and get your stories.
Speaker: but rather here's why we want to get the book.
Speaker: Here's why we want to get the version.
Speaker: Here's why we care and why we love hearing these stories and we want to keep them around forever.
Speaker: So that's one big thing.
Speaker: And we find that when a parent or a grandparent understands that, they seem to open up a little bit more and say, okay,
Speaker: I know now I'm doing this, I'm excited about doing this for my kid, for my grandkid, and then they'll open up to the stories, it makes it a lot easier.
Speaker: So I think starting with that foundation is a great spot.
Speaker: And then I think talking about things that they're interested in.
Speaker: So maybe if it was my grandpa, he wouldn't automatically open up to the time that he fell in love.
Speaker: That's not something that he's comfortable with.
Speaker: So maybe we start with some fishing stories and we say, Grandpa, tell us about the time.
Speaker: We heard you're a big fisherman.
Speaker: Tell us about the best catcher of your life.
Speaker: And he'll have a blast telling that story.
Speaker: And from there, it becomes a little bit easier to say, OK, so then you took those fish home to your wife.
Speaker: Oh, tell us about your wife.
Speaker: And you might get a tidbit or two on why he loves his wife versus starting there, he might not.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, no, that's actually it's your you clearly subscribe to the Simon Sinek TED talk rule of thumb.
Speaker: And it's it is so true for companies and for if you tell people why something is important or why it matters, it is it's the foundation of everything.
Speaker: So, yeah, I do.
Speaker: I would subscribe to that to that method of thinking myself and I think
Speaker: I could see like I'm just laughing because I'm thinking of my own parents like I'm sure everybody listening is kind of thinking of their own parents or their own siblings or whatever.
Speaker: And I know my brother and my mom would probably be like, oh, for God's sake, no.
Speaker: Whereas me and my dad would be, yes, pull up a seat.
Speaker: We'll have a pint.
Speaker: Let's talk.
Speaker: Let me tell you all about me.
Speaker: Yeah, that's.
Speaker: And what is the price range of all of these services or is there different types?
Speaker: Yes, we do have a pretty big range for them.
Speaker: So we have three different packages that we offer.
Speaker: We have a package with two interviews, two hour long interviews.
Speaker: We tend to think about that one for some of those people who might not be as excited about chatting, they might not be quite the chatty Cathy.
Speaker: And that starts at $800.
Speaker: And then we have
Speaker: four interview package.
Speaker: So again, four hour long interviews, which is typically about 12,000 words and that package is $1,200.
Speaker: And then we have our Odyssey package, which is six interviews.
Speaker: And that would be 18,000 words, roughly, kind of depending on how fast the person talks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So that's sort of the range.
Speaker: And then from there, some families like to add on more interviews.
Speaker: So if somebody just has too many great stories that they can't get them all in that six interview package, you can add on interviews for $200 per interview.
Speaker: And that sort of is all inclusive of, then we take those, we edit them, transcribe them, rewrite them so that they flow really well, combine different parts, delete the ums and the ahs and the false starts, and end up with a book that flows really nice.
Speaker: So yeah, two things on the pricing.
Speaker: So one, first of all, do people, while they're doing these interviews, do they send you photos as well?
Speaker: Is that all compiled into the book or just words?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So photos is a big part of our books.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we love to collect a bunch of great photos, make sure we integrate them into the book and then design it really nicely so that they relate to the different parts of the book.
Speaker: So yeah, that's definitely a big part.
Speaker: And I think, I think a really meaningful part for a lot of our families.
Speaker: Yeah, I'd imagine so.
Speaker: And it as well, it takes the photos from being their delicate
Speaker: stage to a book that will actually survive and people mauling it.
Speaker: And you said that you take the words and as part of the package, you take the words and you sort of edit and make sure it flows and everything.
Speaker: Do you give
Speaker: the final proof to the family so that they can make sure, you know, you take out all the Ms and the As and she's especially doing a podcast.
Speaker: I know all about those.
Speaker: I hear myself saying so and all these little things.
Speaker: Do you get, do they get final say or do they say, no, I didn't say it like that.
Speaker: I said it like this.
Speaker: Why are you saying, why are you mixing my words?
Speaker: Yeah, so we send along the manuscript before it goes to print to the families, and they can take a look through, make sure we have the names right, make sure they like how it flows, all that sort of thing.
Speaker: So our process is pretty dynamic in that it can be hands-on.
Speaker: So if a family comes up and say,
Speaker: They want us to do the interviews and put it together, but then they want to get in there and add little thoughts, that sort of stuff, give them suggestions, say, oh, I'd love for you to get this story, get this story.
Speaker: We can definitely do that.
Speaker: And then other times, if somebody's really busy and they just want to hand it over and have us do everything, it can be pretty hands off.
Speaker: So we can send a quick final version.
Speaker: run through it, make sure it looks okay, and we stand off to them.
Speaker: The other thing we do is we also provide the audio transcripts to the families, which for me that was, yeah, I guess backing up, we did one of these projects for my grandpa a couple years ago, and then just this year he passed away.
Speaker: But when he did pass away,
Speaker: I think that that was one of my favorite memories was just getting to go back through all the transfers that we had, interviewing him and hear all his great stories in his own words.
Speaker: So now on my phone, I have probably, I don't know, five or six sound clips of his very best stories about the time he tipped over houses and had a slingshot battle with all the neighborhood kids.
Speaker: It's in his own words.
Speaker: So that's another piece of the product that we give to families.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: Yeah, and it would be, I mean, I know for like the project I'm working on at the moment, I know it would be wonderful if I had, if the person had had something like that with you, because then you could take clips from it, integrate it into the final funeral or the final memorial documentary, whatever way it is.
Speaker: And because some people are against it.
Speaker: I'm not.
Speaker: I think if you can be present,
Speaker: through audio or visual at your own funeral, I think it's pretty important because that's the whole reason people are there is for you, whether it's virtually or physically, they're there to mourn you and, you know, celebrate you.
Speaker: So I do think it's a sweet thing if you can have it.
Speaker: So say, for example, somebody went for the four hour package.
Speaker: So that's four different interviews.
Speaker: If you've got somebody who's maybe like eight segments of their life, do you interview those four people in terms of the eight segments?
Speaker: Or do you interview those people, like say, okay, you could talk about two segments, you talk about two, you talk about two.
Speaker: How do you, do you storyboard it up for yourselves?
Speaker: Like almost like a movie?
Speaker: How does that work?
Speaker: They're pretty dependent on the family and kind of what they want.
Speaker: Yeah, so we make sure we have planning and make sure that if we are doing a story where the person has passed away and it's just a member of their family or their friends, that yeah, we make sure we cover all the different aspects of the family that might want.
Speaker: Occasionally, that's just talking to a handful of people and saying, tell us your favorite stories.
Speaker: So we find that that's pretty common instead of saying, okay, we're going to start the day they're born and have somebody cover that to their first 10th birthday and then have somebody cover from their 10th birthday to their 20th and 20th to their 30th.
Speaker: We find it's more common for people to just say, you know, let's get family together and tell our five favorite stories of dad.
Speaker: And that might be the time he took me out for ice cream.
Speaker: That might be a story that he told me about his grandpa.
Speaker: Yeah, so those ones we find are a little bit more, kind of flow together a little bit more
Speaker: I guess piece by piece instead of sort of harmonological.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, it sounds like it's an amazing thing.
Speaker: It sounds like an amazing present for somebody for even their 21st, for their 30th, for 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, like any iconic birthday or retirement.
Speaker: It definitely sounds like something that would be a really nice gift for somebody.
Speaker: I don't know if you could do it without them knowing.
Speaker: I guess you could.
Speaker: But I think it would be a really nice gift even just to give them after the fact that, you know, here...
Speaker: This is something and I think it's really nice.
Speaker: It's like I recommend that people actually video their funeral, not their own one.
Speaker: But say, for example, if my grandmother passed away, that we have a recording of her funeral.
Speaker: Because for me, genealogy wise, I just think it's a beautiful thing to leave to generations after.
Speaker: to have that a recording of that because it is one of the few life events that we don't really record it's kind of seen a little bit as not done or etiquette wise where i completely disagree with it i think it abs i think i would rather have a recording of that than i would have maybe even of a wedding for me yeah i've got a question for you yeah
Speaker: Not on the topic of No Story Lots is a personal question.
Speaker: A personal question about me.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So talking about, talking to your parents or loved ones about funeral planning, my mom, and I don't know if this is maybe a British thing, but she is adamant that she wants no funeral.
Speaker: So she wants us to have a party
Speaker: Nobody say anything about her.
Speaker: Nobody's standing up.
Speaker: Nobody's toasting.
Speaker: There's no mention of her.
Speaker: Everybody come together, have some drinks, have some wine, and that's all.
Speaker: And I feel like if she passed away right now, I would want to not respect her wishes.
Speaker: I would want to say something.
Speaker: I'd want people to have a chance to share, but I'd also obviously be haunted by her ghost if I did that.
Speaker: So that'd be a risky move.
Speaker: So how do we navigate that?
Speaker: Yeah, a different vision for something that can be impressive.
Speaker: Well, that's what I love about this is that you're talking about it.
Speaker: Can we give you an applause for that right now?
Speaker: Because most families don't.
Speaker: If there's one thing that I encourage constantly on this podcast is if nothing else, if you're a person who just randomly came up on this podcast, take a snippet of it and just at the dinner table tonight be like, did any of you guys ever think about your funeral?
Speaker: What would you like for it?
Speaker: I will die happy if that's all that anybody gets from it.
Speaker: First of all, so well done on that.
Speaker: And well done on your mom for knowing what she wants.
Speaker: Good girl.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I will say, if I personally as a professional was sitting in front of her, I don't know what her name is, I would say Jeremy's mom.
Speaker: Name's Sandra.
Speaker: Sandra.
Speaker: I'm going to send her that podcast.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: You will be sending her.
Speaker: Yeah, do.
Speaker: Well, actually, yeah, you can even, I can send you the PDF.
Speaker: of my book.
Speaker: So tell her she can fill everything out.
Speaker: So it's there in black and white.
Speaker: But what I would do is genuinely sitting down in front of her, I would tell her, listen, Sandra, I think what you're what you want and what your idea is, is incredible.
Speaker: But
Speaker: by asking people to not mention you at all and not talk about you at all, I would be saying to her, you're going to create this tension that you probably don't want.
Speaker: Like it's not, it's not your, your forethought.
Speaker: It's not what you would necessarily want.
Speaker: Because if you're saying you don't want anybody to mention you, literally everybody's going to be standing there with their drink going, don't say
Speaker: the words don't say the words it's like when you go you know on a diet you give up chocolate all you want is chocolate when you give up drink all you want is drink i would say to her that naturally that's not physically going to happen that's going to be very hard on her friends and family so if she wants to do that then do you know what she could even make it even more fun and if somebody mentioned sandra the name sandra they put a dollar in it or whatever in it
Speaker: in a jar like there's always some kind of a fun way to represent and celebrate somebody's wishes i think however i would say she probably i'd say she's probably just very similar to what my dad wants and i mean as having a daughter who's a funeral and a memorial planner my dad has he won't sit down and do a pre-plan with me but he's made it very clear what he wants and if it's legally possible he said to throw him in the back of his pickup truck and
Speaker: drive him home and bury him in the backyard.
Speaker: I'm like, dad, that's not legal.
Speaker: Like you can't just bury you in the backyard.
Speaker: I'll be arrested for, you know, murder, depending on what way you die.
Speaker: His essence is the same.
Speaker: So that's where you've kind of got to, if somebody is so specific, you've kind of got to scratch the surface a little bit.
Speaker: So I know what dad wants.
Speaker: He doesn't want a casket.
Speaker: He doesn't want a coffin.
Speaker: He doesn't want any bells and whistles.
Speaker: He wants as basic as it is.
Speaker: I've told him he's getting cremated or the next ecologically friendly version of it.
Speaker: because I just I he won't be getting embalmed I'm obviously a professional so I'm able to have more conversation with him so I've told him what he is and he isn't getting or like we've talked about the options and I know he doesn't want any of that and essentially what he wants is me to go down well me my family to whoever's left whoever he's left behind to go down to our local pub and buy everybody around drinks and for us to just have have a drink and have and tell stories and maybe bring you guys along
Speaker: to record those stories because I'd say they'd be fascinating.
Speaker: But to have those conversations and for it not to be a, now I've only got a Perrier, but not to be a sort of let's all talk about Gerry Muldowney.
Speaker: You know, he would hate that.
Speaker: He'd hate any pomp and circumstance.
Speaker: So I have a feeling that's probably what your mum actually wants.
Speaker: But again, I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know her.
Speaker: So maybe scratch the surface a little bit more and you'll probably get what she actually is meaning or get her to fill out my pre-plan and you'll get exactly what she wants.
Speaker: But yeah, I do understand the, look, there's two schools of thought on it as well in the funeral industry itself where people say a funeral is for the living and some people say a funeral is for the dead.
Speaker: I personally believe it's for both.
Speaker: I have my funeral planned pretty much to a T. It'd be kind of weird if I didn't.
Speaker: considering what i do and will i know if my family do or don't do it i don't know i've never gotten visited by the afterlife so i don't know if i'll be watching over them going them feckers why didn't they serve this cocktail that was the one i wanted shake harder i don't know if if that can happen i don't know if it if it does and they do it wrong i will be haunting their asses
Speaker: For sure!
Speaker: So I don't think anybody would be crossing me.
Speaker: So in that essence, is it for the dead?
Speaker: No, because I'll be gone and I won't know.
Speaker: But it's for me while I'm living because it's given me peace of mind to know that I'll be celebrated wholly, completely holistically, like all versions of me as me because I decided it.
Speaker: Like one of the most important things, and I've said this story so many times when I sat down with my mum to do the preplan,
Speaker: was that she hates that I bring this story up was that she wants Rob Stewart's Maggie Mae played at her funeral and I was like what why like your name's not even Maggie you crazy I just did not get this and it just it really highlighted there and then I would have planned her funeral from my point of view I would planned it from her daughter's point of view
Speaker: She has a son, like my brother, she's now a granny, she's a wife, she's a daughter herself, she's a grand aunt, she's a best friend, she's a cousin, she's the lady that goes to the doctors, she's the lady that goes to the grocers across the road, she's a million different people and a million different versions.
Speaker: Every one of us.
Speaker: live in somebody else's brain in a totally different version that we don't even know.
Speaker: That's what I find so fascinating.
Speaker: And that and yet when it comes to funerals, we have these cookie cutter, you know, let's just do it the way we always used to do it ways.
Speaker: And so to me, that's it's about celebrating you.
Speaker: So that's why I think it's for the dead.
Speaker: while they're living, but also it's for the living.
Speaker: So I know, for example, that when it comes to my mom's funeral, and I hope it doesn't come any day soon, that we will celebrate her, that her best friends will be like, yes, tune.
Speaker: Oh my God, this was Olivia.
Speaker: I love this song.
Speaker: And I'll be like, don't get it, but sure.
Speaker: I'll know that I did it her way.
Speaker: And really, that's what it's about.
Speaker: So Sandra is absolutely, she's nailed it.
Speaker: And I'll haunt you if you don't do it the way she wants.
Speaker: We'll have a conversation.
Speaker: Narrow it down.
Speaker: See what we're getting at.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Just find out exactly what she means.
Speaker: Because if, as I said, it could be that she doesn't want her name mentioned.
Speaker: And if that's the case, maybe there's a way to make it a fun element.
Speaker: Even though I'm sure it'll be a very sad time.
Speaker: We'll just call her Bandra and we'll all talk about her.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Just come up with a code name.
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: Kamala Harris's code name?
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: Pioneer or Phoenix or something in the White House?
Speaker: You know, the way they all have...
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: I'm just saying that because obviously the inauguration just happened.
Speaker: Yeah, you could give your mom a code name.
Speaker: Way around it.
Speaker: I like it.
Speaker: Good thinking.
Speaker: That's my takeaway from that.
Speaker: That's why I'm the creative director in funeral homes.
Speaker: Come up with crazy ideas.
Speaker: No, Jeremy, listen, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker: That was really good.
Speaker: So what did you think of that, guys?
Speaker: Would you be interested in recording your stories, your photos, putting it all together in a book?
Speaker: Definitely an interesting topic and an interesting idea.
Speaker: Send us your interesting thoughts and your interesting ideas.
Speaker: Have you experienced life, love and loss?
Speaker: Or are you in the funeral industry and you want to talk to us?
Speaker: Get in touch.
