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Chapter 4 - A Royal Summons
60 Plays1 year ago
If a private detective spills ash in your soup, don't fret, just call your favourite legally distinct team of superheroes.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Editing by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
X @bard_soup
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Music & Ambience
Music: Beyond the Horizon by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: The In-Between by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Wonderland by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Tranquil Fields (Peaceful - Loop Ready) by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Tam Lin by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Fantasy Motion (loop ready) by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: The Road Home (2023) by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Fanfare X by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Posh Castle Feast (loop ready) by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Cocktails and Lobsters by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Music: Medieval Chateau (loop) by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Creepy Ambient by Samuel Francis Johanns from Pixabay
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
The Initial Crisis: Missing Princess
00:00:01
Speaker
Where were we? Ah yes, that's right. Three strangers, brought together in a time of crisis, joined together to search for the missing princess, Calissa Galtris. They traveled to the C.D. Copper District in search of Clay's friends, and were greeted with the flash of daggers in the dark.
Tension in the Copper District
00:00:18
Speaker
They were able to defuse the situation, and were introduced to Riggs Trembly and Una Silvayan.
00:00:25
Speaker
The two associates were concerned about the potential involvement with the princess's disappearance, and were planning on skipping town until things quieted down.
Uneasy Alliances and New Threats
00:00:35
Speaker
It was also revealed that Una was concerned someone had been following her. A deal was struck wherein Riggs would reveal everything he knew in exchange for finding the third member of their crew, Patrick Fast Hands, who hadn't been seen since the day before. The three set off into the night in hopes of finding Patrick at one of the taverns he liked the frequent. They started with the tungsten flask, where they met a charming and extremely talented, not to mention good-looking, musical genius whom they rescued from a brutish patron with.
00:01:05
Speaker
no appreciation for the arts whatsoever. But alas, Patrick was not there.
00:01:12
Speaker
They continued on to the Anchor's Beard, where they met a mysterious stranger named Fletcher. That seemed cool, but it turned out he was just trying to have an affair. However, he did claim to be the rightful king of Erdenin.
Tragedy Strikes: Riggs and Patrick
00:01:25
Speaker
These heroes three sent a mob of sailors after the perfect Fletcher, and as the bar was quieting down, they confronted the musician who was performing there. He was playing a new mandolin, Patrick's.
00:01:37
Speaker
Mandolin. He took them to an alley where he claimed to have found the missing instrument, and after searching around, they found Patrick's mutilated body, stuffed behind some crates, bearing the insignia of Humiliation House. They hurried back to warn Riggs and Oona, only to discover. It was too late. Riggs was torn in half, and with her dying breath, Oona told Clay, he knows about you. You already said all that, did I? My apologies. Anyway, on with the story.
Bard Soup Podcast Begins
00:02:22
Speaker
Come gather round travelers and sit on the stoop We'll tell you a story about Batsu Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop We'll tell you a story about Batsu
00:02:53
Speaker
It's super time!
00:02:58
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode four, chapter four of your favorite Bard podcast on the internet, Bard Soup, episode chapter four. I am your dungeon master and soon to be best friend, Zach Meekle. And I'm joined today by three comfy little critters, comfy critter number one. What do you look for when you're rummaging through the forest? That's you, Prima. I'm looking for seeds.
00:03:26
Speaker
Cool. Also, what's your name and who do you play?
00:03:30
Speaker
My name's Prima and I play Clay Campbell. Nice. And all of my friends are dead. That's true. Oh my god. Both in the game and in real life. It's kind of amazing that you came here tonight. I'm friendless, alone in the forest looking for seeds.
Unraveling Mysteries at the Hideout
00:03:45
Speaker
That's so sad. I'm joined by a comforted critter, Jordan. Yeah, I'm Jordan and I play Glimky. I'm Verk the Snapper's number one fan and I spend my time
00:03:58
Speaker
in the forest singing with the birds. I don't know what you're looking for. And I'm joined by a comforter that looks like a critter, Shannon. Yeah, I'm pretty bummed out because my mic just broke and I just found out me and Prima aren't friends. Or she's going to kill you. Or she's going to kill me. She's already written me off. Everyone's dead. Everyone is dead. Okay. Well, on that dramatic note, let's get this show rolling.
00:04:29
Speaker
We join you now in the dirty, dusky hideout of Riggs Trembly's crew. It's dark here, everything is laid out before you in various grey hues, drops of blood are still dripping down from the ceiling where Riggs's lower half was lodged, but besides that, the room is quiet. Nova is still a few hours away, and with it the king summons, but that seems like a long time away amongst all this carnage. Um... Uh...
00:04:58
Speaker
What the what the hell is going on? I think he's going to run to the washroom. OK, yeah, you do that. Yeah, he pushes through the door into the the small chamber and he scrambles to look for the note that he left. Yeah, yeah, give me a investigation check. Natural 17 plus nothing, 17.
00:05:25
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. You look around. It is not, uh, lodged in behind the mirror, but you see it has slipped out and is lying on the floor. Okay. Okay. I, I scoop it up. I scoop up the nothing else. It's like intact. Yep. Okay. Um, I'm just going to rip that up and shove it down the poop hole. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. You flush your note. It's not my fault.
00:05:54
Speaker
What's happening with Clay? Clay's just devastated. I think she's just holding Una's body and just sitting there. Wait, Una was reaching towards her crystal ball, right? Yeah, she was holding her crystal ball in one hand and it looked like she'd been trying to crawl towards the trapdoor that you know is there, but clearly did not make it.
00:06:20
Speaker
Can I do like a perception check or something to see if the person who did this is still around? Yeah, for sure. Give me a perception. 21. 21.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah, with a 21, you kind of holding Una still, you look around the room, you listen to hear, you know, any creaks or footsteps, any, any noise. You hear a Glimpkey rummaging around in the bathroom. You see Faunalyn kind of pacing, shifting from one foot to the next, kind of close by you, but it doesn't appear that there's anyone outside the three of you in here. Um, Glimpkey is going to come back into the room then too.
00:06:55
Speaker
Does anyone have any idea of what could have done this? Una said he knows who did this. He? Look at this mess. Yeah, like who did this? I think we should go back to the Sophia district where I live and you two can sleep in perhaps the gardener's shed and I'll sleep in my room and then we can be somewhere safe where there's guards but we should definitely not be here.
00:07:23
Speaker
Um, yeah, I agree with leaving the clays. Did you find anything on them? Uh, can I like search my friend's corpses? Yeah, for sure. Uh, give me a little investigation check. I would also like to do one too. I'm like, obviously Glinky is struggling to like look at this stuff, but he is trying to push through here. Yeah. I will do one too. Oh, she that's a 19. Dang. I got a nine. So not great.
00:07:50
Speaker
Uh, I got nine minus one, so also not great. Okay. I think, Clay, you are too distraught to really find anything. You kind of like start to, you know, pat your friend down. That starts to feel bad.
00:08:04
Speaker
Yeah. Glimky, a couple months ago you were hanging out in a town where people would dance around a big tree every four nights and have communal soup nights every couple days. Big soup guys. A grisly double homicide is a little outside your comfort zone, I reckon. Yeah, yeah. Fondylin, you have a certain edge to you that maybe it lets you compartmentalize better or something.
00:08:29
Speaker
Are you like what is there anything specific you're looking for? Otherwise, I can give you like a general sense of what you're you're picking up from this room. I think in particular, I'm looking for coin and odds and ends that might be valuable, but I'm also looking for clues. I'm looking at the wounds as I kind of rifle around them to see if I can tell anything.
00:08:51
Speaker
I'm really hoping for a letter that's a confession of the crime that transpired, but I'm not holding my breath. Of course. I'd say you walk in. I'd say you go back to the door and sort of very Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes style, you start to see different things poke out to you. First thing you notice
00:09:14
Speaker
The door was kicked off its hinges. You see that there is an indent, a single indent. It took a single strike. Maybe it was kicked, maybe it was punched, maybe it was bludgeoned off with a weapon. Knocked off the hinge, you see a single impact point. It did not take more than one strike for this individual to knock the door down, which tells you they are very strong.
00:09:33
Speaker
Second, you start looking around. This room, a lot of blood, a little bit of dust, you start to notice different sets of footprints. You start to count them up.
00:09:45
Speaker
You identify seven sets. I think with a 19, you know that there were three members of this crew. Riggs, Patrick, and Una. There's been the three of you that have been here today. Clay, Glimky, Phonolin, and one unidentified set. This tells you whoever did this acted alone. One person killed these two. Holy crap.
00:10:11
Speaker
Third, you start to poke around the bar and you kind of pick up a bottle. You notice a lot of these bottles dusty, one of them squeaky clean. You grab it. And with it, a little piece of the shelf slides away, revealing a hidden compartment. Oh, shit. You pop it open and you find a box unlocked, but also unopened up to you if you want to open it.
00:10:40
Speaker
um okay um is anyone good at like um trap detection or something because i think i would like to open this but i don't want my hands to get exploded off um glimkey perhaps you could take a look because clay is traumatized and i don't trust her eyesight right now i'm like not even looking you want me to open a trapped box what
00:10:57
Speaker
Do you want to open it? Because I was just suggesting you like take a look at it because I'm not very good at detecting traps because I haven't spent much time amongst places where there might be traps. And you think I have? I don't know. You have a certain renegade error about you. You have leaves in your hair. I guess that's fair. Sure. Let me see the let me see it. I guess I'll do a what am I looking for investigation? Yeah, I'd say a little investigation to determine if it's trapped.
00:11:28
Speaker
Nice. I got a 13. Doesn't seem to be. What is it, uh, like, what is it made of? Uh, simple wooden box. It's, you know, not, doesn't seem like it's particularly valuable or the craftsmanship is overly fine. There's no design or anything. It's just like a plain wooden box, plain wooden box. There's a little clasp, you'll pop open, but not unlocked.
00:11:52
Speaker
OK, I'm going to open the class, turn the box away from me and open it up. OK, inside you find the following. There are three sacks of coin. One with copper, one with silver and one with gold. When you have time to count it up, you will determine that there is two thousand one hundred copper pieces. Oh, one thousand fifty silver pieces and seventy gold pieces. Oh, my gosh.
00:12:22
Speaker
Wow. Can you say that again for the accountant over here? 2,100 copper, 1,050 silver, 70 gold. Oh, shitballs. So about 200 gold in total, give or take. Nice. Right. Well, why don't I hold on to those? Because I'm the least likely to be robbed, I think. Sure. And I pull the sacks out and hand them to her. I talk about my enormous sleeves.
00:12:53
Speaker
Very nice. In addition to the three sacks of coin, there is a fourth little satchel, a little baggie. You pull it open. It's full of some sort of powder. You don't know what it is, but there's some sort of powder in this bag. How color is it?
00:13:08
Speaker
It's like a, it's dark, so it's kind of hard, you know, you're using your dark vision, so I think it's kind of cast in shades of gray, but it seems very pale, just like a very pale, not quite sandy, but like, it kind of seems to be like moving and shimmering in this bag. It's kind of hard to look at.
00:13:27
Speaker
There is a coil of rope, and there is a key. Just a plain metal key. Not too big, not too ornate. Just a key. Nice. Okay, I'll take the rope and that bag of powder, I guess. Okay. And then I'll hold up the key. Clay, do you have any idea where this could go? Do I have any idea about this box in the first place? I don't think you've seen this box before. So, do I have any inkling of what the key could be for?
Journey to the Sapphire District
00:13:57
Speaker
Give me just a general intelligence check. Ooh, that's pretty good. Minus one, 15. 15, probably a lock. Thanks. Damn. I will say with a 15 though, you do recall on a previous job, Riggs told you that they were going to do some late night window washing and just needed you to keep an eye out because the window washing guild sometimes got upset if they did their window washing without the proper permits.
00:14:26
Speaker
so you remember he led you into one of the nicer parts of town and he pulled out this coil of rope and you watched as it sort of uncurled itself and stretched up to a nearby balcony and then Riggs climbed up and I probably washed some windows you were you know you were supposed to keep an eye out but that's probably what he was up to okay first I guess I'll just pocket the key for now okay
00:14:48
Speaker
I tell Gimli, oh, that's the magic rope. Oh, my magic rope? Yeah. Nice. It's the magic rope. The magic rope. Well, I suppose we can sample the snuff later. I rather think we should get out of here, as I said. Is everyone all right if we flee quickly?
00:15:10
Speaker
I think it's probably wise. Is there anything else of importance here that you might have, Clay, before we go? Otherwise, we should probably leave. I think you'll probably have to drag Clay out of there because she'll just want to sit next to her friends.
00:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, Clinky will walk over to Clay and remind them, you know, this is an unfortunate situation, but if we don't get out of here, Clay, we're gonna wind up the same. Yeah. I mean, these were pretty, I think, adept individuals. And I think, I mean, speaking on behalf of myself, we're pretty new to this. So whatever the hell did this is probably not very nice.
00:15:52
Speaker
And we can't like, like, we just have to leave the bodies here for someone to discover. We can't like put them somewhere at rest. Well, here, can you give me a couple of copper pieces from the bag? Fine. I hand over 10 copper pieces.
00:16:09
Speaker
And I bring them over and I kind of help Clay kind of arrange Euna's arms and place the coins on her eyelids and be like, even if this isn't a proper burial, she has some sort of ritual to help carry her over. That's very nice. Should we, should we say a few words? We could probably spare a moment as a tribute to Clay. Have you got something you'd like to say? I think Clay just like is silent for a moment. And then it's like, I'm ready to go.
00:16:40
Speaker
Well, I think it's time. With haste. In that case, Nova is a few hours away. Where is it you plan to go? I'm not sure. What kind of was the last thing we were looking for for Patrick? We found Patrick, so that's good. We came back to these guys to hopefully find some information and all we gleamed is that they know about us.
00:17:04
Speaker
We have no leads. So at this point, we have the key, a magic rope, some money, a bag of dust and no place to go. No, we have got somewhere to go. You can sleep in the Zach. I assume there is like a gardener shed or some kind of servants.
00:17:23
Speaker
You could just let us sleep in your room. Yeah, we could just go into your room. Let me find out if there's a gardener's den first. Let me just find out. We'll just sleep in the maze. We'll sleep in the small gnomish hedge maze. Yeah, it stands to reason. You probably haven't spent any time in there. I'm sure you've never been inside. You've probably never even looked at it more than once. But there is a hedge maze, and hedges require shears. And you can't just have shears lying in the yard. Someone might step on them.
00:17:51
Speaker
So it stands to reason there's probably some sort of shed or box seller, a box, something to house tools. So I guess it's off to the Sapphire district again.
00:18:04
Speaker
One last thing before we go. Una's crystal ball. Is that her magic? Does it have powers? How does she use it? I don't know if she would have explained it to you exactly what it does, but I think anytime you've seen her
00:18:24
Speaker
do more than minor feats of magic. Anytime she's cast a bigger spell, she's been holding that ball. So you don't know if it has innate properties of its own. It could just be an arcade in focus, but it could have additional properties that you're unaware of. And you grabbed it, right? I'm gonna if we haven't. I feel like you should. I feel like if Clay thinks it's just Una's tool for doing magic, she would just tuck it into Una's hands when they arrange her.
00:18:54
Speaker
Oh, okay. Oh, hmm. I'm okay with that. I'm gonna Atlantic Limpy while she does that and like gesture the thing. You got three bags of coins. We're good. You can buy all the crystal balls you want. Watch this be an artifact worth like 800 gold pieces. Just watch. Could be. Anyway, the cops are gonna show up. We need to dip. Yeah, we should go. Okay.
00:19:22
Speaker
You exit out into the, uh, cold evening or nighttime air. It's well after, after midnight. Nova's probably three, four hours away. So it's the early hours of the morning. You're all feeling extremely tired. Where to gang?
00:19:37
Speaker
To have the Savard District, her house, I guess. Yeah, my house. Yeah, the Safire District. Safire District. So you make your way once more through the dirty muddy streets of the Copper District, up through the Silver District, Gold District, you know the routine by now.
00:19:55
Speaker
The sound of the great waterfall starts to fill your ears. You climb up the set of stairs that flanks it. Wait, hold on a minute. He says out loud as we're walking, as we walk past a couple sewers. Didn't we have a whole thing where we talked about some rat-like creature at the docks? Didn't someone tell us about that? Yes. Guys, we're forgetting our leads.
00:20:19
Speaker
Have you scolded a rat? Yeah, didn't we? We talked. We talked to that guy that was a spitting image of the snapper. And he said that he was just a regular half-orc. But yeah, he looked exactly like what I imagined Rick the Snapper would look like from the song. And he we talked to him about him working on the docks. And if he was there that night and if he saw anything suspicious. Right. Am I am I being crazy? Yeah, he said he saw a man.
00:20:46
Speaker
turn into a rat and eat some bread? Is that what he said? Is that what he said? I think at the time I was talking to a man about... Oh yeah, I think you were talking to the pervert. Oh, the pervert, right. I was engaged with the pervert, yes. Hold on, I mean perhaps we continue to the Sapphire District to get some rest, but I think we do have a lead here, do we not? Can I do a perception check to see if I think anyone's watching me in particular, or just us? Go for it.
00:21:15
Speaker
13 plus 3, 16. The streets are quiet. You're kind of going, you're chatting in hushed tones. There's, you know, a few guards, they don't give any guff. They're just trying to get through the last of their shifts before they can go to bed. It's quiet. Eredinina's quiet tonight. All right. Okay. Well, let's continue on then. Perhaps after some rest, we can tackle this in the morning, but I guess, wait, is the King's address tomorrow?
00:21:43
Speaker
It is. Firstly tomorrow, right? Yeah. Holy man. We got a packed schedule. Yeah. I know. And I have a couple errands to run myself in the afternoon. And then I suppose after that we'll be heading out for adventuring to chase rat men or whatever or sailing the seas or something. Okay. So we have two leads actually. Number one is rat man. And number two is Clay loading the princess onto a ship. Yeah. And the shipping mogul or whatever is.
00:22:08
Speaker
name is Humiliation House.
Navigating Social Dynamics and Tensions
00:22:11
Speaker
Yeah. And I've gotten in with the Humiliation House. So I think we've got plenty of leads. Clay, I wonder if I might have your ear for a minute. Sure. Like privately. Okay, excellent. I'm gonna kind of like walk ahead of Glimky.
00:22:29
Speaker
Okay, so privately. Yes, privately, thank you. I sure get gunky and fallow, I guess. Clay, it occurs to me that you're... I hate to be callous, but recently unemployed. I think your boss just got slaughtered. Oh, that was... that's a... just when I need some extra coin, you know. Well, if you need some extra coin, I've got...
00:22:56
Speaker
you know, sort of a task tomorrow that needs doing, and I wondered if you might be willing to help me out for, say, one gold piece? What's the task?
00:23:06
Speaker
Oh, it's just a simple delivery. I'll have a letter in the morning, maybe two letters. If it's two letters, maybe we could throw in an extra two or three silver. If you could just discreetly deliver the letter in a manner where you're not seen by anybody, that would be just really splendid. And if you are seen by anybody, then do not bring my name into it. Discretion is the name of the game. But yeah, just delivering, just post, postage.
00:23:32
Speaker
Oh, sure. I mean, this is not really my thing, discretion, but... Yeah, I'll do it for two gold. Sure. Two gold seems very fair. Right, so I'll give you the letter tomorrow morning and then you can kind of... I'll leave it to you when you want to deliver it, but make it early. Alright. Excellent. Glimpy, we're ready for you! Okay. I have nothing to say to Glimpy, I'm just... signaling that we're done.
00:24:00
Speaker
Okay, what'd you guys talk about? I got this job for tomorrow.
00:24:10
Speaker
Oh, even with Glimkey. You know what, Glimkey? You know what? You just lost a business opportunity. Glimkey, for one gold piece, I'll give you one letter tomorrow. And if you want to deliver it for me discreetly and not tell anybody about it, we can do one a piece. How's that? One gold piece for each of you, one letter a piece. And then we all have a great day. How's that? One gold piece each? Yes.
00:24:34
Speaker
And I give Clay enough to go breakfast on you and then we keep on. Okay. Did you give us the letters to deliver? No, I'll give you the letters first thing in the morning. Okay. I wanted to look at the address because I'm like, apparently I don't know how to find anything in the city.
00:24:54
Speaker
I mean, you found the bars okay. You didn't really know how to find a music shop, which I think makes sense. Overall, I think you've done a good job of navigating your hometown. So you are bringing these two vagabonds back with you, back home? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:25:10
Speaker
Okay, for the sake of brevity, once more you reach the ocean crest falls, you reach the corresponding stairs and bridge. You are met by the same night crew of guards who remember you passing through and they don't really give you any pushback as you attempt to bring these two into the city. You were pretty forceful on the way out. They, I don't know, they don't want to deal with your Karen ass. Tonight they're just trying to get through the shift.
00:25:38
Speaker
As we walk past, I'm going to nudge a glimkey and say, and that's why you deal with a firm hand. Take note. A firm hand. Yes. Yes, of course. What time is it? It's so late, but you navigate the streets of the Sapphire district and eventually make it back to birth old manner. What are you doing with your house guests?
00:26:04
Speaker
Okay. So we have a few options. Number one, you could sleep in the shed, but I'm a little bit worried about that because it occurs to me that I've never actually seen the shed and I have no idea who uses it or at what time. Um, the second option is you could sleep in the servants quarters. I've got some friends down there and they are probably discreet and you know what? Let's do that. Let's do that. Yes, let's do that. So I want to sneak them around to the servants entrance and do like a secret knock on the door.
00:26:30
Speaker
Sure. Are we talking like shaving a haircut? It's much more elaborate than that. I'm like using feet. I'm using elbows. We're playing with dimension. We're playing with height. Okay. Yeah. And muffled behind the door. You hear what the fuck?
00:26:50
Speaker
And a second later, the door unlatches and you see Fallow Kent in just a potato sack of a nightgown, hair all up in curlers. She looks like death walking and she says, why? Oh darling, I've made friends. Sort of. Well, probably subordinates for now. See, this is Glimky and this is Clay and they're going to spend the night in the servants quarters, if that's all right.
00:27:19
Speaker
You know it is. You needn't draw the suspense. It's just not really a good time, given that it's four in the fucking morning. Well, you see, if it wasn't something sort of... What's the word? Subterfusal? That's not a word, but it's fine. You see, there's something mysterious afoot, which is why I'm approaching it four in the morning. Normally I would, you know, have them come around the front entrance. Honestly, normally I wouldn't be associating with them at all, but crazy times.
00:27:48
Speaker
Ma'am, we'll be quiet as mice, I promise you, and we'll be gone in the morning. You won't even know that we're here. Yep. Such polite guests. You get one room. Figure out how you want to use it.
00:28:04
Speaker
More than generous. More than I would give them. Oh, fellow, you are the best of us. Is it like bunk? What's the situation? Bunk beds? One bed! Okay. And she stops over to like down this hallway. She doesn't even like beckon for you to follow. She's got these arthritic knees. She's just hobbling her way down the hall.
00:28:24
Speaker
She opens a door. There is a single bed in the corner with a washstand next to it. She just points at it and then huffs away, providing no further information.
00:28:36
Speaker
I'm going to follow Fallow. Good night, sleep well. Do not come out of this room in the morning until someone comes and gets you. I swear to God, if I see you walking around this house, so help me God. Okay, okay, okay, okay. We promise we're not going to come out in the morning until someone comes and gets us. That's fine. Thank you. Thank you. Jeez. Clay, you can take the bed. I think you've earned it. It's okay. I could take the floor. I'll take... I think, Clay, when Bonalyn leaves,
00:29:06
Speaker
probably just like bursts into tears and then sits in the corner. She's just going to cry herself to sleep for a few hours. So is Faunalyn leaves now? I'm following Fallow, yeah. I was just like talking through the door and then I whirled away. Perfect, perfect. I closed the door, closed the door. Yeah, so the two of you are left in your servant's quarter for the night.
00:29:30
Speaker
Is there anything else in this room? Is it just one bed and nothing else? I'd say there's a trunk to store your clothes in. And that's about it. Well, when Faunalyn's footsteps fade away and I look to Clay, I'm like, I'm going to find us a snack. I did promise we wouldn't leave in the morning until someone came to us. She didn't say anything about leaving at night. Thank you, Glimkey. I'm kind of... That would be nice.
00:30:00
Speaker
to clarify i have not gone upstairs i followed fallow to her room okay yep oh i know bastard clay's just gonna keep crying yeah well i mean if she's a loud speaker i want to wait till it's quiet of course yeah you give it like a you know count to 10 or 10 minutes something like that yeah while you're getting ready to sneak around a noble's house
00:30:26
Speaker
Faunalyn was, son dude, where are you going? Oh, fellow darling, I am so sorry for the intrusion. You know, I know I put you through rather a lot of stink and fuss. Well, it's just that, you know, you ask a lot of me and frankly, you give little in return and, uh, you know,
00:30:47
Speaker
This isn't good. You know, darling. You know what, the lady? Do you know what the lady? She had dinner tonight. After you parted ways. Do you know what she was telling people? Do tell. Well, if you start hearing a rumor that Lady Faunalyn Vaidark is engaged in a menage a trois with two lowborn commoners that she is sneaking off at all hours with, then you don't need to question where that stemmed from.
00:31:14
Speaker
So you know, you stop bringing them around here, it's just making things a little difficult for me is all I care for you. And I don't know, this just doesn't reflect well on you. You need to know that. This is the worst possible two people I could be accused of menager toying with.
00:31:30
Speaker
Literally any two other people in the world Fletcher my god Yeah, what about that fucking mean guy driver? At least he has a job hey clay still has a job clay clay has many jobs
00:31:48
Speaker
We're not there, sorry. I'm just offended. Be offended, cry harder. Yeah, you could just hear like echoing sobs from down the hall. God, I'm going to have to do tremendous damage control tomorrow. Do you think I can spin it like it's cool and sexy to have a couple commoner friends who you menage a trois with now and then?
00:32:12
Speaker
Well, on one hand, gods know. On the other hand, I think you might be the laughingstock of Andenin's social society at this rate. It's not a good look. Oh god, should I have them killed? No, I don't know anyone who can kill them. What? Should I kill them? I can't kill them. Should you? No, no. He reaches into her nightgown and pulls out a dagger. She says, we could, but it's just... Then I'll have to clean the room. I've got so much on my plate already.
00:32:42
Speaker
I know. And, you know, with your joints acting up, you know, I would never ask you. Thank you. If you wanted to, you know, I wouldn't stand in your way, but no, I would never ask. I think the best thing for it is I'm going to brainstorm tonight. You know me. I can, I always land on my feet. I'll come up with something. You famously landed on your arm, but two days ago. Okay. Famously will fall, but not die.
00:33:04
Speaker
We can agree about that. What a messy, famous thing to be famous for. That's fine. Anyway, sorry. I'm just, this is not a good time to talk to me. You, you reach me at these hours and I get a little caddy. That's all. I love all iterations of you, you know? Um, okay. First of all, two things. Yes. Number one, this is for you and I'm going to pull out the sack of 70 gold and I'm going to give it to her. I'm going to give it all to her. Easy come, easy go. We still got the silver.
00:33:34
Speaker
She kind of jostles and says, all right, I like you again. Yes, I thought you might. And secondly, I do need another favor. And I know I ask rather a lot, but if this pans out as I suspect it will, no, don't make that face. This is just my face. If this pans out as I suspect it will, you and I will be receiving a lot more than bags of 70 gold pieces. In fact, 70 gold pieces will look like chump change. All right. You're listening. Yes, I mean, what a choice do I have.
00:34:02
Speaker
I need the household addresses of a Lord Harros Foxian. All right. And a Lady Loosewine Harris. Okay, I could probably find that for you. And I need it either morning.
00:34:19
Speaker
rather early, and I know it's in the house somewhere. I'm certain it's in the address book. And don't make that, I'll just give you 70 gold pieces, let's call it with the attitude. It's four in the morning, I'm tired, I'm home. I know it's four in the morning. I work 18 hours a day. Okay, well, today let's make it 20. She kind of just walks away and she waves her hand over her shoulder and she goes to the nearby staircase and just starts stomping her way up it. Okay, I love you, Fallow. Yes, I know.
00:34:46
Speaker
I love you! I love you too! Okay, goodnight, Paulo! Goodnight. Oh, bloody hell. Okay, I got to my room.
00:34:57
Speaker
So you return to your room, glimkey. Yes. You get to sneaking, I suppose. Off to find a snack. You crack the door open. In sneaky. You're going sneaky, what did you get? I got a 17. 17, okay. I am going to say, as you are creeping around, you're in the basement, you're probably looking for. Looking for a pantry. Pantry, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you give me an investigation check? Mm-hmm.
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh, five. Five. Yeah, you start poking around, you open a couple doors, you see some sleeping servants, you find a latrine, you do not find a pantry down here. You do find a set of stairs that leads upwards into the house though. I give a nice slight lean back looking down the hallway.
00:35:48
Speaker
A shrug to the non-existent camera. And then I start walking up the stairs. Oh, the camera's existent. They take their home security very seriously. You creep up the stairs. Could you give me one more investigation and one more stealth in whichever order you choose? Oof. OK. That's a 19. But I need to double check something because I think. Ah. Uh oh. I have to roll sell with disadvantage. I forgot.
00:36:18
Speaker
Oh, no word of a lie, two 19s. Nice. It's a quiet guy. I think I literally have disadvantage, but it's plus one. So that's a 20 for stealth.
Magic Discoveries and Strategic Moves
00:36:30
Speaker
And then investigation. I got a 14 this time.
00:36:33
Speaker
14 okay, and that's a plus zero so 14 Yeah, I would say with a 14 you walk around you poke your head into one door You see a study of sorts you see the grumpy old lady that you met downstairs oops study is there books? It's full of books It's also full of one old lady who is currently writing something down She's copying something down onto a piece of parchment from a book hmm
00:36:57
Speaker
We'll be back. He says to himself as he walks away. Yeah, you're quiet enough that she doesn't notice you and you you sneak away. And, yeah, a few minutes later, you poke around some more, you find a kitchen and you find a attached pantry full of hawks of meat. There's a real cheese as tall as you. There's some fruit. It's a real Scooby Doo snack montage. Yes. Nice. Yeah, I'm just going to take a like a shirt load, you know,
00:37:26
Speaker
Got my shirt in a little bowl. Put a couple fruit in there. There's got like a some nuts. Excellent. Little bit of salted meats and some jerky. Okay. And then I will turn to walk back.
00:37:42
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah, you sneak your way back down to the room and- Well, hold on. Pause. I want to check the room if she's still in there writing. She is still in there. You see, she is flipping through just like this huge tome. If you want, give me a perception roll. Okay. Perception, 10.
00:38:03
Speaker
Ted, you can just make out on the spine. It says air denine white pages. Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Uh, yeah, I'll go back down. Excellent. So yeah, you sneak back downstairs and you find clay, presumably still crying. Okay. I will present some snacks and hopefully that helps comfort the moment.
00:38:24
Speaker
Aww, thank you. I think Clay was probably not going to sleep tonight. She's just crying and eating, and if Glimpy's up for it, I think Clay is going to talk about the...
00:38:41
Speaker
the jobs that she's gone on with her friends and be like, oh, they were they were good people. And then kind of like realize that some of the stuff they did was criminal. Oh, Clay, I think, you know, some professional window washers only working in the dead of night does seem a little bit suspicious. Yeah, I think they should have gotten their permit. I don't know why they didn't bring the permit. Maybe that's why they worked at night.
00:39:09
Speaker
There's also the time Riggs taught you how to box. And he had him and Patrick held up a guy who maybe owed Riggs some money. And they were like, yeah, I just, you know, like one, two, one, two, jab, jab. And you learned a few basic boxing maneuvers. I know boxing. I think I also like try to show Glinky how to use the magic rope. Nice. Yeah. Nice. I was like, I saw Rig do this and then the rope moved on its own. Cool. Give me an arcana check.
00:39:39
Speaker
Me or Glimky? You, Clay, as you're trying to show him how it works. Not 20. I know exactly how this works. You know exactly how it works. I would say...
00:39:54
Speaker
that you remember, and I'm gonna call on you to tell me what this is, but you remember every time you went out on a job with Riggs and he brought this rope, he would always say a word or a phrase before the rope would come alive. And as you're kind of recounting this story to Glimke, would you tell me what that word or phrase was? To make the rope move. Slither force, magic rope.
00:40:24
Speaker
Riggs hated this rope. It really undercut a lot of what he was trying to do. Every time he took you out on a job, he would slither forth a magic rope and it would come alive. So you have a rope of climbing.
00:40:38
Speaker
It is a 60-foot length of rope. If you hold one end of the rope and speak the command word, it animates. And then as a bonus action, you command the other end to move towards the destination you choose. The rope has an AC and hit points, and if it loses its hit points, it is destroyed. Damn. But surely no one would attack your magic rope. Pet magic rope. Pet magic rope. Name's Slitherforth magic rope. Yeah. Can I also investigate this bag of powder? Can I take a closer look at it, like under candlelight or something? Give me your own arcana, Jack.
00:41:09
Speaker
yeah 16 while clay is like messing around with this rope you spend a little time looking at this powder found in a small packet this powder resembles very fine sand there's enough of it for one use you kind of dip your finger i would say into this and as you pull it back out the tip of your finger is gone it has disappeared this is a pouch of dust of disappearance
00:41:32
Speaker
When you use an action to throw the dust into the air, you and each creature and object within 10 feet of you become invisible for 2d4 minutes. Would have been real helpful for that snack run, I bet. I'm not wasting it on that. The image of Clay crying while biting into a whole wheel of cheese while talking to our friends is pretty unbelievable. Yeah, she's grieving.
00:41:57
Speaker
Let's just hope she's not lactose intolerant. Now, she drank so much milk and vodka earlier. So, Phonoine. Yes. Are you trying to sleep tonight or meditate tonight? Go into your trance. I am going to skip it. Okay. What I'm going to do instead is I'm going to make myself look, I'm going to pretend I never slept. Like I'm going to pretend I just woke up. I'm getting ready for the day. I'm making myself look amazing. Okay. And I am forging some documents.
00:42:27
Speaker
Okay. Glimky and Clay. I know Clay, you said you weren't planning on sleeping. I'm sure Glimky would doze off while Clay is explaining more stories. Okay. No offense. He's just a tired little guy. Yeah. Of course. And he's full now.
00:42:43
Speaker
if you're planning on making the king's summons there will not be enough time for you to complete a long rest just so you know that's fine does that mean we take one level of exhaustion you don't have to take a level of exhaustion but i do need each of you to make a constitution saving throw otherwise you will okay hopefully this is good 13 and a seven that's a seven oh wait a 10 sorry sixes and nines look very similar
00:43:09
Speaker
They do. Faunalyn and Glimky, you are fine. Clay, you suffer one level of exhaustion. That's fair. She didn't sleep. She was just crying. She's dehydrated. Aww. With one level of exhaustion, you will have disadvantage on all your ability checks today until you complete a long rest. Okay. I'm gonna get you a nap.
00:43:33
Speaker
As the only person with a window fondling, the stars outside begin to swirl and coalesce and the great sun, Faros, is reborn anew. And after three and a half sessions of bard soup, we have finished one day. Let's go. Nice.
00:43:51
Speaker
A new day has dawned. I would say shortly after Nova, there's a knock at the door and a fallow enters and she presents to you a rolled up piece of parchment just tied with a little piece of twine says there you go don't want to know what you're doing with this but well I have to assume if you're sending liaisons liaisons is that the word I'm really tired it's a good word I'm fine with it
00:44:17
Speaker
If you're sending letters to a man who claims to be the rightful king of Erdenin, I have to assume you only have the worst intentions in mind. Be safe. I often am, darling. Now, um, do you know, has, has the Viscount has spoken for the day? Yes, about an hour ago. Oh shit. I meant to preempt her. Well, that's not good. Okay. Well.
00:44:41
Speaker
Let's put on a good show, huh? That was directed at me. You've got nothing to do. You know what? Take the day off. That's not okay. I'm sure I'll just go. All right. Yeah. All right. I'm going to manage this whole bloody household. I have two.
00:44:57
Speaker
blank envelopes that have already been filled with letters and sealed. And I know which is which. I have one on the left and one on the right. I am going to write the two addresses on each one. I'm going to stuff it deep into my gown where no one can see it. And then I'm going to pick up two forged documents, which I spent the morning forging, and they are
00:45:17
Speaker
my best approximation of what a document to hire new help would look like. Like an onboarding document. In the hand of Lady Berthold? No, just in a generic hand. I've created a boilerplate contract and I've filled in with two bullshit names, each one, and I've done everything except sign the dotted line on each
00:45:41
Speaker
So I've like written in black ink a contract and then in blue ink, I've like filled it out with a bunch of fake information. And then I've not signed them. Okay. Can you tell me, do you have proficiency with a forgery kit? Yes, I do. Then I'm going to have you roll a D 20 and add your proficiency bonus to it.
00:45:59
Speaker
12. Your sleeve dragged a little bit. There's a little smudge, but overall, a couple of convincing documents. The mistakes you made were not mistakes that someone else couldn't have easily have made in drafting these documents. Could you just tell me what numbers are you including in those two letters? Can I ask you what numbers have I included in the past? I think depending on the information you have dealt with, probably anywhere between five and 50,
00:46:28
Speaker
50 would be like real big though. We're gonna start with 20. 20? To both? I think so. Okay. What the? What are these for? What do you like to know? So you stuff two letters each with 20 into your bodice or what have you and what are you doing with those two contracts? I am going to make haste to find Lady Birdhole.
00:46:54
Speaker
Okay. You go down to the parlor and you see she is sipping at a cup of tea. She's wearing her morning gown, her hair still in a wig despite nothing else really being made up for the day. And she looks up at you and kind of takes a long sip of her tea. Her eyes have a bit of a nasty sparkle to them and she says, hello darling, how are you? Late night?
00:47:16
Speaker
A tremendously late night. You see, I've been working on something and I'm absolutely torn. I don't know whether I should tell you or whether I should try a bit longer to keep the surprise. You see, I do so hate keeping secrets from a darling friend. But on the other hand, surprises only grow richer with anticipation. Hmm. Well, might be nice to let a dear friend in on a secret note.
00:47:42
Speaker
Well, you see, darling, it's not just a secret. It's a surprise for you. Like a present? You shouldn't have, darling. Just because I bought you a dress yesterday, please.
00:47:53
Speaker
No, it's because, you know, you've been such a good friend to me and so decent, really. And my father most appreciates you welcoming me so warmly into your party for these last months. And also, you know, there was the matter of the servant girl, Ikwa. The dresses we both know is what is a dress between friends, but much appreciated. Anyway, darling, I thought since your servant girl Ikwa was slaughtered the other night, you know, the night when my life was attempted upon.
00:48:20
Speaker
which is rather traumatic and which I'm still recovering from. And if I should hear that anyone was sort of, you know, causing me any additional troubles at a time when my nerves are already so fragile, I don't know what I would do or what I would say to my father. But anyway. Real quick, give me an intimidation check.
00:48:35
Speaker
And this is going to be contested against her insight to see if she understands that a threat has been made. That's an 18. It wasn't a threat. I was just, okay, it was a threat, but it was subtle. I don't want her to read it as a threat. And she doesn't. She just continues sipping her tea and she's nodding. She's got these big eyes, looks up at you and says, yes, quite right. It's probably better that way. You see, we both know that finding good help is such a nightmare. So I've gone ahead and done the task for you and I put down the two contracts. I found you two
00:49:06
Speaker
very dedicated, very hardworking potential employees. There's Reginald Chapstick and Flora Fauna, which is similar to my name in that it has fauna in it, but it's probably, it's different. Reginald Chapstick and Flora Fauna, and they can work for you. I've been speaking with them, I've been interviewing them.
00:49:30
Speaker
I did bring them around. I hope you don't mind. You might have seen me. I hope you didn't see me because it would spoil the surprise, but you might have seen me with two sort of common folk. I was just interviewing them for the position. Give me a deception roll. Can I get advantage because I forged some nice documents?
00:49:46
Speaker
No, because I don't think those documents support your, the lie you were telling, at least not in the substantial enough way. I forgot how good I am at lying. That's an 11. She almost imperceptibly kind of squints her eyes, but just like, just like takes a long drawn out sip of her tea. Silly me. I thought you'd taken, I know exactly who you're speaking of. I thought you had taken a fancy to them.
00:50:13
Speaker
Isn't that outrageous? Me? I'm not toying with people with no clear stations. Exactly, that's why I thought. I thought it was preposterous, but I mean, you know, some people like slumming, I suppose. I don't know. Who am I to judge?
00:50:26
Speaker
Listen, if I'm going to be the meat in a sandwich, let it be between two slices of barren bread. You wicked darling! It's too early for such shapes! Stop it! Stop it! Alright, what positions did you wish to hire them for?
00:50:46
Speaker
Well, I thought that Flora Fauna would make a good ladies maid and Reginald Tapstick would make a good gardener, because you'll see he has an affinity for plants. Interesting. I mean, Fallow won't like, she's taken quite the lighting to you in the short time you've known her, and she I don't think will appreciate being supplanted by some Flora Fauna you said? Wait, are you telling me that Flora Fauna is not the one with the affinity for plants?
00:51:15
Speaker
Florafauna is the lady's maid. Wait, no, I get that. It's just bizarre to me. You'd think that someone named Florafauna would be like, you know, have a green thumb and, you know, would love to work in the plants. But you're telling me it's Reginald Chapstick who likes to... General is the one with... Yes. Interesting. Fascinating. It's really fascinating. Well, Kazrin is the one who manages the household expenses. Obviously we do have an opening recently. She crosses herself in a Judeo-Christian manner.
00:51:42
Speaker
That's just the custom of the lands. And she also nodded. Yeah, anyway, whatever. But on the other hand, we did just hire Krombeck. So I suppose that position, as far as the budget goes, has been filled. I will have to talk to Kazrin about bringing on two new servants, but I'm sure that won't be a problem.
00:51:59
Speaker
And good news, they've actually agreed to come by this morning and do sort of a couple days of unpaid labor as a bit of a trial run, just so that you can see their expertise. You know, if you'd be amenable, I could have Fallow let them in when they come by, because they're not here yet, but they'll get here, eventually. Uh, sure. I mean, I don't need to meet them as long as they keep the garden watered and stay out of my way, then I don't particularly care much about them at all, so.
00:52:29
Speaker
Tremendous. And I do hope you like your surprise. I hope I've spared you a bit of a headache. Well, you've hired two servants to fill rather redundant positions in the household, but, uh, I love it. It's delightful. Thank you. One people of our station can't have enough help. No. Ah, menager toil with servants. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. And I'm going to flounce out. Right.
00:52:54
Speaker
Enjoy your tea, darling. Thank you. So a little bit of damage control, Bun. Where do you go from there? Oh, I go straight down to Rumpus and Rumpus's place. These two chuckleheads. Yeah, you knock on their door or do you? I just bust in.
00:53:11
Speaker
That makes more sense. You push the door open and you see a scattering of little chunks of cheese and meat and fruit and nuts kind of just pile up in one corner. Morning, Rumpus. Good morning, Rumpus. You know, I would normally give you a hard time about the fact that you have clearly rummaged through the pantry because I know for a fact you cannot afford Camembert of that quality. But instead, I'm going to tell you that I have given away the 70 gold pieces for a noble cause and gotten both of you jobs. We have jobs.
00:53:39
Speaker
How much does this job pay? It depends on how long you stay in the position. And does it come with board? Yeah, sure. You can keep the floor in here for as long as you watch properly. We don't need jobs. Are we on a mission? How much is this going to eat into our investigative time?
00:53:59
Speaker
I lost sight of the goal. What I meant to say was that you two can be seen around the house for the next few days. Doing work. As long as you keep your head down, pretend to cut hedges or something every now and then, maybe sweep a floor and stay out of Lady Berthold's way.
The King's Plea and Rising Tensions
00:54:17
Speaker
Hedges aren't meant to be cut, they're meant to grow. Okay, then let them grow in a way that looks productive. Okay. But that means you have a place to stay and you're welcome. Thank you, I guess is what you were looking for.
00:54:29
Speaker
How long until the King's address? My God, what time is it? Is it daylight outside? It's hard to tell down here. My gosh. Day has dawned. I'd say you've got maybe an hour to get there. Okay. Oh my God. Okay. Well, our duties, our duties can wait. How long of a walk is it or a trip? Yeah. From here, probably 20 to 30 minutes, depending on traffic. Okay. There's one more thing. And I pull out the two letters and I hand one to each of them. Again, I don't care.
00:54:59
Speaker
How you do it. Just do it quickly. Keep my name out of it. Do your best not to be seen. In fact, don't be seen. Because being seen would be very bad. And drop them off at their destinations. Is there addresses on them? Yes, the addresses are on the back. What do they say? What district? Are they both in the Sapphire district?
00:55:17
Speaker
One of the letters is addressed to Lucerina Helres. It is somewhere in the gold district is the address for that household. The other is addressed to Helros Falxian, and that is addressed to the tree house outside of town. Oh. I'll take the gold district one.
00:55:40
Speaker
Oh, is it because I'm from out of town? Well done. No, because I- It's fine. I wouldn't know where I'm going. I want to drop by the artist's guild. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, if you're doing the run anyways, why don't you take both? And I extend my hand to the stair. Well, I could take both. But that means I get two gold pieces. That's fine. I have a job.
00:56:04
Speaker
Alright, I'll take both. Look, I just don't want to miss the king thing. I thought that was the whole point of us going to this thing. Can I deliver both of these before the king's address? Absolutely not. Okay, god dang it, give me the thing. I take the letters, I pocket them, and I'm like, let's go to the king's address first. Okay. So you set off? Yeah. We can get there at half hour early. I don't know if I can be seen with them.
00:56:33
Speaker
I think they might need to walk and I may need to go in carriage with anyone in the household who's going. Are Kazarin or Lady Bertholdt going? You couldn't have picked a cooler job like carriage coach drivers. Yeah.
00:56:47
Speaker
I was thinking on my feet, okay? Reginald's chapstick. And I'm the gardener? So, Faunalyn, you wander upstairs and ask, and it sounds like they are planning on attending. It sounds like they have no intention of embarking to find the princess, of course, but they feel it is a good sign of loyalty to make an appearance at the very least.
00:57:13
Speaker
nice is there any like servants garb that i could give glimkey and clay you would have to go through fallow for that if i can find them a couple outfits i feel like they could probably just come in the carriage or like on the back of the carriage that's okay i've had enough of a relationship with this carriage i will walk there's a lot of the city that i still haven't had the chance to see because we would we've been chasing around murder victims yeah
00:57:45
Speaker
Sorry, Clay. I've also not seen Sapphire District except at nighttime. Yeah, might be nice to walk it. So, the three of you part ways? I think so. Faunalyn, you go upstairs, you wait for the carriage to be ready to depart, two of you set out outside the servant's entrance, out through the front gate, and yeah, walking through the upper reaches of the city, you
00:58:10
Speaker
Make your way through the sapphire district. Under the light of Faros, the splendor of this place is fully revealed in a way that it wasn't on your journey through here last night or on previous clandestine journeys through this part of the city. Immense manners and beautiful green gardens line the streets, you pass by courtyards that house statues of monarchs long past, and fountains depicting creatures you've only heard of in stories. You don't have time to linger, however.
00:58:37
Speaker
and you find yourself swept along as a crowd starts to build. You're almost like an arterial system. You're just coming out of streets and from like the lower reaches of the city, just a huge throng of people is making their way through the Sapphire district. You see in the distance there is the castle, you know, the diamond district is up ahead. And after a short time, you find yourselves in front of a bridge that is unlike any you have ever seen. A series of fountains depicting stern looking
00:59:06
Speaker
men and women each wearing an identical crown kind of span this gap that is just ocean water and from them streams of water rise out and spread and harden in the air forming a translucent platform of water and light that is apparently enough to support the weight of the massive crowd surging before you. Whoa.
00:59:26
Speaker
At the far end of this aquatic, arcane bridge is a castle enclosed by a thick stone wall. The entire castle, including the exterior walls, was seemingly constructed with any hard angles. Everything is smooth, it flows naturally, the entire structure flows and blends together, constructed of a sandy colored stone that doesn't seem to have any seams or breaks in it. There are several towers, each of them circular and ending in rounded points, and at the center of the palace is one final tower that stands above the rest.
00:59:55
Speaker
at its top burns a signal fire. And for those of you who have spent enough time here, you know this fire, for which the castle is named, has burned ceaselessly for as long as you can remember. You are led past the wall that surrounds Bailfire Palace and into a courtyard that is nearly filled with a vast horde of people waiting to hear from King Galtries.
01:00:13
Speaker
There are people from all walks of life here. Many of them appear to be common folk, locals of Aradine, that are hungry for an opportunity to prove themselves. Some appear to be nothing more than farmers or general laborers. Others carry themselves with the hardened grace of retired soldiers, hungry for one more opportunity to prove themselves.
01:00:30
Speaker
Many of the people here appear to be mercenaries and emissaries from far off lands that have gathered in this time of crisis. You see a group of boundless pilgrims, halflings without a home, that are sitting atop a covered wagon, fiddling with instruments and playing cards in the early morning light.
01:00:44
Speaker
You see a contingent of sea elves from the underwater kingdom of Abalandir, with skin and varying shades of blue and purple and green. There's a group of visitors from the Anchor's Chain dressed in solid, bright colors with silk veils that obscure their faces. Near the edge of the crowd is a hulking humanoid figure with an iron helmet that covers his head and shoulders. It's fashioned like a swarm of swirling locusts. He's wearing a wispy cloak that clings to him like shadow. In his hand, he carries a jet-black war pick that matches his helmet.
01:01:11
Speaker
Closer to you is a grizzled-looking halfling with a long trench coat and a thick cigar hanging out of his mouth. He's scanning the crowd and writing things down in a notebook. He looks over in your direction and tips an invisible hat. He then drops his invisible hat and then bends down to pick it up. Depending on who you are, some of the faces in the crowd seem familiar. Faunalyn, you see a blue dragonborn in a modest set of armor that you met at a party but a few nights ago.
01:01:37
Speaker
Glimky, you see a centaur in a full set of golden armor and barding that was identified to you as Keth the Wastewalker. Faunalyn, once again, you see a human woman with dark skin and a crimson gown that you met at the same party who identified herself as Elektra Vuh, Lady Elektra Vuh. And of course, Clay. Near the edge of the crowd, you see Sten Dexter carrying a large wooden post and a coil of rope. Classics. His plans coming along.
01:02:06
Speaker
There's a nervous energy to the crowd. People have gathered in small groups to discuss the current crisis and hushed undertones. However, before long, the crowd is silenced as a large set of doors swing open, revealing two individuals. The first is a human man who appears to be in his sixth decade of life. He has thick, but graying hair, a well-trimmed beard and gray eyes to match. Upon his head is an iron crown, fashioned in the style of an anchor.
01:02:31
Speaker
The second is a Goliath man who stands just shy of seven feet tall. His head is shaved and there's an intricate web of tattoos that climb up his neck and across his face. You watch as he raises his hands and the crowd quiets. As he does so, you notice something strange. It appears that he has but a single thumb to which both hands are affixed. Cool. For those of you who are familiar with the city, you would recognize this as the king's evil vizier, Vakul Viala. And he says,
01:03:01
Speaker
people of Erdenin. We are gathered here in a time of crisis. Now, take heed of your rightful monarch, the lord of the brine, the anchor of Erdenin, keeper of the balefire and archduke of the southern coast.
01:03:19
Speaker
Hero of the Night of Ten Thousand Stones, King Farron Galtries, and the evil Vizier dropped down to one knee, and the crowd followed suit.
01:03:35
Speaker
The king steps forward and he raises a hand gesturing for the people to stand up, and just as he is about to start speaking, there's a sudden puff of light and shadow swirls in the center of the courtyard. You see guards all over, draw halberds or crossbows, and you see emerging from this sudden twisting of space and time. You see a dwarven man covered in dragon scales.
01:03:58
Speaker
You see an elven woman surrounded by these dark storm clouds that swirl around her. You see a human man shrouded in shadow with this large tentacle wrapped around him like a scarf that ends in this iron tip. And you see a goblin with skin the color of brass and a tiny mechanical owl that rests on his shoulder. The king looks at his guards and says, leave them. League of Iqor, it is good for you to come. Thank you. The League of what?
01:04:22
Speaker
Icar, I-C-H-O-R, you know. And the four of these individuals kind of bow politely and the Dwarven Man says, we heard of what happened, sir. We could not stay back. We will fight for you to find your daughter. That I pledge. The King nods at them and then turns to face the crowd at large and says, it is dark time, citizens. My daughter, Callistra, has gone missing.
01:04:47
Speaker
She was last seen in her bed chambers but three nights ago and when her servants went to greet her in the morning she was not in her room. The guards that are tasked with guarding access to her chambers claim that no one came throughout the night. They are currently
01:05:13
Speaker
under arrest until we can ensure the veracity of their claims. And as you're watching, you see that this is a tall, proud man who looks like he has been brought low. There's just these thick worry lines on his forehead. Every sentence seems slightly labored, very clearly having a difficult time.
01:05:38
Speaker
he starts to continue again and then kind of chokes up and kind of brings a hand up to his eyes and Valkul Viala steps forward laying both hands on the king's shoulder and whispers something in his ear and the king nods and the evil vizier steps forward and says, Pierce, it is true what the king has said. The guards are under arrest. We are interrogating them as we speak to determine if they have been loyal or if they are betrayers to the crown. We do not have much
01:06:08
Speaker
In the way of information, we have heard numerous rumors. The Princess was spotted in the Pearl District allegedly being loaded upon a ship the night she went disappearing. We have heard that she was also spotted in the Gold District buying bread. It is hard to verify any of these individual claims. We have not had corroboration of any sort.
01:06:33
Speaker
But what I can tell you is that if any of you are to bring back the Princess Callista Galtris alive, you will be rewarded with whatever the King can give you. Suddenly through the crowd you hear from behind the castle walls you hear
01:06:52
Speaker
and there's like a sun-like uproar in the crowd, and you turn back and you see this gray giant, 18 feet tall, just like bend and crawl his way underneath the castle gates. He says, I'm sorry, I'm late, your majesty. I bring news from the southern mountains. Your daughter has not been seen in our lands, but my kin will keep a watchful eye.
01:07:21
Speaker
until she is restored to you. The king steps forward once more and says, thank you Thakul, it is good to see you. And the giant nods his head once more and sits down with a bit of a thump against the wall. At that point, Valkul steps forward and says, that is all, find the princess, do whatever it takes. And once more, there's yet another interruption.
01:07:51
Speaker
Faunalyn, you hear a familiar voice, one that you heard and saw the face of a few nights ago, an individual who identified himself as Prince Elling Malphurth. He says, I will do whatever it takes to find the princess. And he like draws this long gem-encrusted sword, raises it up, catching the morning sun. He says,
01:08:11
Speaker
I will find the princess and I will ask only for her hand in marriage, your majesty. The king kind of just like, yeah, sure, okay. They're like, prince doesn't pick up on this social grace and she has the sword and kind of sweeps his cloak out behind him and then makes out for the gate. I love this guy. Have I seen Glimky and Clay in the crowd? Yeah, you spot them not too far away.
01:08:34
Speaker
Yeah. Like scanning this crowd, obviously there's a, there's quite a few heroic looking individuals and I think a team of superheroes arrived. Is there anyone that is looking particularly shady, you know, like sticking to the corners, you know, people trying to like get an update on the investigation. Yeah. People trying to avoid being seen. Give me a perception check as you scan the crowd.
01:09:04
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Can I also do a perception on the crowd? Sure. That's really bad. Six. I see. Glimky, you are in a crowd of people mostly that you only come up to the hip of. You are in a sea of giants and one actual giant. Yes, that's fair. You're looking around hard to see anybody who's looking shady. Clay, you feel like someone's watching you.
01:09:30
Speaker
in the crowd yeah you kind of like look around you don't see who you don't see anyone staring at you anything like that but you feel like someone's watching you and as you're kind of scanning it you uh hear a voice down at your hip just another slop field night in pig city huh and the uh halfling man walks up to you half a cigar in his mouth
01:10:01
Speaker
Blows it out in your face, Klimky. Kind of expecting a response to that. Ridiculous statements. Sorry, were you here the whole time? Who is here? I tipped my hat to you, remember? Never trust a two-bit wizard. I asked for a hat of invisibility. Instead he gave me an invisible hat. Never trust a two-bit wizard. Or a dame. That's hilarious. Can I feel it? Does it actually exist? You reach out to feel his hat and he slaps your hand away and says, what do I look like? Mr. Handshakes all around to you? Come on.
01:10:33
Speaker
Sorry, what are you hoping to get if you've helped me find the princess? Redemption. Nice. Justice for my partner. That's so cool. Is it cool? Is it cool to watch your best friend bleed out in your hands because you trusted abroad? Is that cool to you, Mr. Handshakes, all around? Is that cool?
01:11:03
Speaker
you're a little bit intense sorry haven't had my morning smoothie it reaches into a flask and takes a big swing what do you know man
01:11:18
Speaker
Tell you what, I know. A lot of people talking to this town, not enough people listening. That's what I'm here for. That's what I've been saying. I mean, also hearing. I mean. The sun starts to like kind of beating down over the walls and kind of shining in his face. He pulls his hat down to cover his eyes. It does nothing. You know what I know? When you have a crime, it's three things you need. Motive. Opportunity. And he looks at you expectantly.
01:11:49
Speaker
Sneaky little friends. That's what I'm saying. Sneaky little friends. You know what I see? Whole city full of sloppy little picky little sneaky little friends. Hey, okay. You know what? Since we're exchanging some advice and information here, have you heard of the pervert, Mr. Fletcher?
01:12:09
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. True king of Aridony, and I've heard about him. Yeah. What's it to you? What's his deal? Is he really a true king? What's the situation then? How was a king established? Blood, right? Uh-huh. Well, Mr. Fletcher, one night, found himself at a card table with the king. And by Mr. Fletcher, I mean his great-great-grandfather. Some 300 years ago. And, you see,
01:12:40
Speaker
Mr. Fletcher's great-great-grandfather and the king. They were bedding heavy. King started to run out of coin. Fletcher's great-great-grandfather said, I'll tell you what, you can buy in with your crown. Great-great-grandpa did. Great-great-grandpa lost. Great-great-grandpa had Fletcher's great-great-grandpa executed for trying to steal a crown. So Fletcher's been saying he's the rightful king, but as far as blood goes, this is, I don't think, really any real connection there.
01:13:09
Speaker
He's mostly a harmless loon, keeps to the woods.
Intrigue and Skepticism: Marlin Whisperhand
01:13:12
Speaker
Well, scratch that name off my list. That's a bummer. I mean, still has opportunity and he's got one hell of a grudge. Whether or not it's valid or not. Who's to say? What do I look like? A gosh dang string to you? That's right. I said string. Here in Zav, we don't have strings. We got strings. Yeah. Take care of your noggin. He starts tapping his cigar against his head. Ash just falls all over his hats. And you see, you can kind of make out an outline of a hat now. What was your name, stranger?
01:13:43
Speaker
You can call me stranger, but don't because that'd be weird. Name is Marlin Whisperhand. Marlin Whisperhand. Yeah, that's right. Are you a detective? No, I'm a patissier. What do you think? A patissier. Sorry. Need more juice and he reaches out and grabs his flask again, takes another big pull.
01:14:04
Speaker
Detective. Can I tell you something? Of course. Anything. Is it about the princess? It's good to know. I appreciate that. I'm good right now, but it's nice to know I've got a friend. Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, Marlin. No, no, no. I'm just messing with it. I'm not messing with you. But listen, let's talk shop. You want to know what I know? I don't know shit. But what I do know.
01:14:29
Speaker
Is that if I were investigating this case, which I am, just not with the people close to the princess, you know? Who's got opportunity? Who's got motive? Who's got sneaky little friends? What do I think? King? King's full of sneaky little friends.
01:14:47
Speaker
I'm pretty sure I said that on day one. Right, Clay? I'm pretty sure I put that in my book. Yeah, you did. Kings back at the top of the list. Change in the order here. You seem like a smart brand. Who else? Evil Vizier. It's in the job title. Yeah. That isn't interesting. Why do they call him that? Well, I mean, I don't know if you know much about professors of linguistics, but I ain't one. But I will tell you this. It's because he's a gosh damn Vizier and he's gosh damn evil.
01:15:17
Speaker
That checks out. What's up with his hands? Yeah, I don't know what that about. Might have been... Maybelline, maybe he was born with it. Shit if I know. Heard maybe it was a lab accident, maybe a sacrifice he made to gain absolute power. Looks like it didn't work, given that he's the second most powerful man in the land. Looks like he came up a little short there.
01:15:41
Speaker
Well, I mean, I've been, you know, I've been kind of exploring this whole detective avenue myself. And obviously you look like a... I'm not looking for a Watson. No, no, I... trust me. I don't need no assistant. I lost my partner. It's like, you know, listen to me. He died in my arms. You need to let him go, man. I can't let him go. I see him every time I close my eyes. His forehead is burning as he taps the cigar against it. I miss him, man.
01:16:08
Speaker
Anyway, I would I'm the thing about servants serving with a grudge What about this lady and waiting? What about these guards? They got the guards under arrest, but what about the lady and when she walks in princess and missing? That's all she has to say princess You know what? I think there's only one way to speak to this man It could be turns his back and pulls his head up and looks Over his shoulder back at him and goes you think you're the only one that knows loss. Oh
01:16:35
Speaker
Yeah, I think I'm the only one who knows loss. Well, kind of like a thing, I'm really self-obsessed. Well, guess what? Clay's crying. Guess what? She puts a hand on his shoulder. See, your friend gets it. She knows I'm the only one who's known loss. She feels bad for me. I'm gonna turn around and wanna grab him by the jacket. Open your eyes, damn it. This person's crying because they know loss better than anybody.
01:17:04
Speaker
Really? Really? They lost their best friend? Their best friend died? Holy shit. He just falls down to his knees and says, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I don't know. Listen, it's, it's okay. You wouldn't have known. I think, you know, but I should have known. I get paid to be known. I think there's an important lesson to be had here. This is the people that really know lost. They should really stick together. So I don't know about you, Marlin, but I look around and I see a lot of fakes around here.
01:17:34
Speaker
When I look at you, I see right through that hat of yours. I see someone true. I'm true. True damn King of Air to me, that's what I am.
01:17:48
Speaker
I think, you know, if we, uh, we cross paths, my grandfather beat Fletcher's grandfather and he gave a card and they bet the crown. So I'm like third in line to the throne. I think, okay. Okay. All, all faith lost. He says that next time we cross path, um, Marlin, we couldn't, we compared notes claim. Let's let's go.
01:18:15
Speaker
I'll be in touch. Okay. I'm gonna find this lady servant. I don't mess with James no more, but I'll tell you when I find her. Okay, well, yep. Okay, we'll compare notes. Cross off all the people that don't line up. Let's look out this guy is obviously crazy.
01:18:35
Speaker
Okay, I think Clay just like pats him on the shoulder and says, I'm sorry for your loss. And yeah, it goes leaves with Gunki. Yeah. Yeah. You walk away just like all the rest. I'm just messing with you. Have a great day, folks. I'll see you around. That was the most bizarre direction. I thought I really had it there for a minute.
01:18:59
Speaker
That was rare form, Zachary. Rare form. Who was that? That was Marlin Whisperhand. I think so. I heard stranger. I want only that guy every day.
01:19:16
Speaker
Literally, I only have questions, no answers. You know, he kind of reinforced my thought and then I was feeling really good because I was like, yeah, that's what I was thinking. And then he said that whole thing about him also being an heir to the throne. And now I think I should throw this list in the trash. I think the the line to the throne is very many. We need to find the princess. Fonolin, what are you doing?
01:19:43
Speaker
Excuse me just a minute, um, I see an acquaintance. Um, and I flounce off very.
01:19:50
Speaker
directly towards Lady Elektra-Voon of Sunfall. Sure. You walk past these four strangers that teleported into the room, the dwarf with the dragon scales, the brass half, or brass goblin, tentacle man, storm woman, the little mechanical owl on the goblin's shoulder slowly starts tickling down. It's playing the X-Men 97 theme song very faintly. You walk past them towards this, yeah, this woman she's got dark skin, a crimson gown, this big, big,
01:20:20
Speaker
Not quite as big as yours, or as Lady Berthold's, but you know, a powdered wig. And she says, ah, Lady Vader. So good to see you. Yes, it's tremendously good to see you as well. Listen, Electra, let's cut the niceties. I know what you're involved in, and I think that we should just come clean to each other, don't you? I do not know what you're talking about.
01:20:47
Speaker
Really, you don't know anything about the champagne and the boats and the tower and the, you know, and then there was the thing with the swords. You don't know anything about that. I was at the party with boats and champagne. I met you there, if you recall. I did hear about your incident at the tower the next day. That is very terrible. It's good to see you on your feet so soon. It's quite remarkable. In fact, you looked no worse for wear. And I don't mean that as a compliment.
01:21:15
Speaker
it is uh it's good to see you but as far as what you are alluding to in veiled terms i am afraid i uh do not have a what is the word uh what do you use to pierce the veil i uh i do not know what the um what the metaphor is but you know that uh i'm afraid i do not know what you are referring to i don't know what you're referring to that's not a metaphor i want to do an insight check give me an insight check
01:21:44
Speaker
You get the sense that she is speaking coyly. She's speaking in, you know, around things. She seems intent on not having a direct conversation with you, but you do not know if that is her playing the game of nobles or something more nefarious. You know that there's deception going on, but you don't know what the nature of it is. Well, it's
01:22:13
Speaker
Very nice to make new friends in new places. And if you decide that you would rather be my friend than someone else's, my doors open. But if you should decide that you have enough friends, then I think you would find many doors closed.
01:22:30
Speaker
That is fair. Well, the way I see it, my business is concluded in town. I found the friend I was looking for, but with the princess missing, it feels like an inopportune time to walk away from the city. So perhaps I shall see you at the premiere engagement. I think it's perhaps poor form to hold the ball in these trying times, but you know our kind. We make revel in
01:23:00
Speaker
Perhaps it is not time to do so. Is a ball going on? You're asking me or her. I'm not asking her that. I'm asking you that. You have not heard of any ball. And I'm going to have her roll an insight check. She looks you up and down and says, Oh, excuse me. I did not know. I assumed you had been invited. My part. Oh, that is so embarrassing. I'm so sorry. But perhaps your invitation is merely lost in transit. No.
01:23:26
Speaker
I have so many ball invitations that I could start a Rocky Mountain Oyster Company, okay? I will see you at the ball, to which I was invited. Good day. Good day. And I'm going to stomp towards Kletir Kaldar. As you are stomping, we will cut over to Clay slash Glimky. Clay, is there anything you wanted to look for or anyone you want to try and flag down as the crowd is dispersing?
01:23:56
Speaker
Do I still feel eyes on me? Give me a insight roll. Okay. Also, I think I forgot to roll perception with disadvantage earlier. Oh yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Should I roll this with disadvantage? You should, yes. Because you're so tired. You just feel so sleepy. Yeah. I'm tired. Oof. Okay. I got a three plus three, six.
01:24:20
Speaker
The sensation has passed. Oh, weird. That's good. Yeah, that's great. Can we see Faunalyn from here? Yeah, you can see a tall white wig kind of bouncing its way through the crowd.
01:24:36
Speaker
I guess I like pointed out to Cookey, like should we head over? Well, I don't know if she doesn't seem to want to be seen with us in public, especially with her, maybe her fancy friends, but. If you had just worn the livery. Yeah, I don't know if we have the most dire of information all of a sudden to share with her. Yeah. Have you seen any rats?
01:24:59
Speaker
Can we make more perception checks on this crowd? I will allow one more, since you are specifically looking for a rat. Ah, man. 13. 15. 15. Clay, scanning the crowd, you see
01:25:17
Speaker
on, I mentioned there was a carriage with a group of halflings sitting atop it. You glance over and you hear a string break on one of the mandolin that the halfling's playing. The string snaps and the four of them just start laughing uproariously. And you glance over at the wheel of the carriage and you see a little brown rat just perched up on it, looking around at the crowd.
01:25:42
Speaker
Is it doing anything suspicious for a rat? Yeah, it's sitting on a wagon wheel in a crowded courtyard, seemingly looking around. Rats typically scurry. This one's very content. It seems to just chill there. I guess I like nudge Glinky and point at the rat. Oh my god. You don't think that could possibly be. Does he turn into a man? I mean, perhaps he would.
01:26:10
Speaker
Let's try to catch the rat. I think we should. OK. You go that way and I'll go this way. OK. Do you have anything that we could use to perhaps get the rat? I've got this fancy invisible making powder, but I feel like that should be saved for something a little more dire than perhaps stealing a rat. Yeah, I don't think I have anything. You know, do you have any of that cheese left over?
01:26:40
Speaker
Oh, did I pack any cheese? Roll for cheese. I'm rolling for cheese. What roll is this? I'll just a D20 and add your cheese modifier. 19. I got a one. Well, with a 19, you find some cheese, and Clay, you grab it and put it in your mouth. No. And then you pack it up. I split it back up. I wasn't saying, do you have cheese to eat for yourself?
01:27:08
Speaker
Oh, right, right. I spit, I have wet cheese in my hand. I think perhaps a good test of any to see if this truly is a rat is if we bait it with some cheese. If it ignores it, then I think we have a man on our hands.
01:27:25
Speaker
Okay. Should we set a trap with the cheese? Well, if it's a rat, I'll just get it. Then I won't think it's a, then it's not worth it. The trap should be, well, hold on. If he's not attracted to the cheese. We put the cheese, we put the cheese. If he doesn't go for the cheese, then we go, Oh, this might be a man's.
01:27:47
Speaker
yeah so we just let's get close we'll toss a little bit of the cheese close to him and then if he doesn't go for it we snag him okay okay okay i would like to get close to him i want to use the the crowd if i can give me a stealth roll with advantage so regular because i have disadvantage
01:28:10
Speaker
Yes. Can I help? He already has advantage. So unfortunately you can't give like double advantage.
01:28:17
Speaker
It's all good. I got a 17 plus one 18. Okay. Let me check one thing. Okay. He got a 17 on his perception. So you managed to sneak around the crowd. I think clay at one point you walk a little closer to provide like, you know, a little bit of cover across a little bit of a, an opening in the crowd, run interference and Glimke, you sneak around and you managed to sneak up behind the rat. What are you doing?
01:28:46
Speaker
Oh, like I'm how close am I as close as you want to be, baby? Oh, then I'm just going to grab the rat. Fuck the cheese. I'm just going to, I'm going to grab them and shove them in my bag. I'm going to have you, you can roll this with advantage because you snuck up. We're going to do a contested grapple check. So you're going to make a athletics check with advantage contested against the rats acrobatics.
01:29:12
Speaker
What if this is a normal rat? This is just a normal rat. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. What did you get?
01:29:21
Speaker
What did you get? What did you get? I got a 19. A 19. 17 plus two. You reach up and your shadow starts to like cross over the rat's body. And then you just, it like turns its head and it's about to jump away and you just pounce and you grab it. And it's writhing in your hands and you are holding a big old brown rat. Nice. I'm shove it in my, well, no, I'm going to keep holding it. Okay. I'm going to run over to Clay.
01:29:48
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Get out the rope. Got the rat. And then I say slither forth magic rope. And then I command it to tie knots around the rat. I'd say while this transition is happening, it's going to try, it's going to have one opportunity to try and go free. Now that you're being helped, I will say you can make one more athletic check with advantage.
01:30:14
Speaker
uh 14 okay you speak the command word and the rat the the rope kind of just like springs up and then wraps around this rat and it looks like you now have a rat on a leash it's like squirming and fucking and trying to run away but seems unable to do so good okay i put the tied up rat in my arms and i go okay back to the manor i guess or somewhere like an alley i don't know
01:30:43
Speaker
yeah is there like a quiet corner somewhere the crowd's kind of getting ushered out keth the waste walker kind of walks past you with this gleaming gold armor you see that he stops next to this stone giant and they converse briefly for a few minutes and then the stone giant kind of pulls himself to his feet and makes his way up you hear the sound of a ticking clock and you see this group of four weirdos looking down at the brass goblin and the the man with the tentacle
01:31:09
Speaker
wrapped around him says what time is it brass face and the little brass man says it's time to go and you hear the sound of ticking clock hands like start to increase and then it's like a big clock face appears and wraps around them and then they just blink out of existence
01:31:27
Speaker
Holy shit, they are superheroes. Yeah, we think we could have convinced them to work with us if we had tried. Those magic words are worse than Slytherin. Check off! I think we could have gotten them to join our party. I think the League of Icarus is a little out of our league.
01:31:47
Speaker
Yeah. We're the League of Vomiting Alleys. We're the Rumpus Rumpus. The League of Rumpus. The League of Rumpus. Yeah. So the three of you head off, or sorry, the two of you rather, I imagine, start to make your way back over the bridge, perhaps towards Berthold Manor, where you have a job interview awaiting you. And we will finish up with you, Faunalyn, approaching Kletir Kildar, the blue dragonborn knight who sees you approaching. And he kind of
01:32:16
Speaker
He kind of braces himself and then turns to face you and says, Lady Funnel, it is good to see you again. No, that's not how you address me. Try again. Lady Vadok, it is good to see you again. And he bows politely. Is that really how you speak to your queen? Your Majesty, it is good to see you again. And he bows all the way down, snout to toes.
01:32:43
Speaker
You're learning. Sir, Sir Kaldar, the noble Sir Kaldar, may I say you are one of the finest knights in my infantry. Have you done as I've asked? Nay, as I have commanded. I have kept an open ear for the, I believe as you put it, hot goss of the city. Was that my command? And what have you heard? Well,
01:33:07
Speaker
The city is amok with rumor at this time. It is a time of great crisis, if you will. People are worried, but amongst that, I have heard a few pieces of information that perhaps will be of interest to you. I have heard that he kind of looks around very, we'll say conspiratorially, not even conspiratorially, because there's no glee in what he's delivering.
01:33:32
Speaker
but he looks around to make sure no one else could be listening in and says, I have heard that the king's evil vizier abducted the princess for profane rituals. I have also heard that she was seen leaving the city on a humiliation house boat, and I have heard that she was in the company of
01:33:57
Speaker
Prince Bertram Vestigard, the bastard prince of the North.
Rumors and Speculations: The Princess's Fate
01:34:03
Speaker
Oh shit. Have I heard of this guy? Give me a history check. And as someone with a relevant background, I would give you advantage on this. Cool. I got a two and a five and that's plus zero. So that's a five. You do not know of Prince Bertram Vestigard. Well, it sounds juicy. You get the sense that perhaps Cliteer Kaldar might know more than you, but up to you if you wish to pray.
01:34:27
Speaker
Nope, that's what books are for. Sir Kaldar, I am pleased. You have done well. Remember this moment. Were you a true knight of Ardenine, you would be up by the king. But no, he leaves you with the rabble. It is me, me that you stand beside. I mean, I keep attempting to explain the, well, shall we say, oh,
01:34:50
Speaker
the bureaucratic functioning of knighthood, and I am sworn to a noble house. But, uh, I feel like if my point was not understood on our first meeting, why should it be now? And I hear what you are saying, m'lady. You are a noble knight, and I shall remember your loyalty well. Now, I have a further task for you. There shall be many tasks. You are my noble servant, Lady Electra Voon of Sunfall. Watch her closely. Report back to me regularly.
01:35:20
Speaker
Do not be detected. Understood? Give me a persuasion roll. Man, the dice are not in for the shenanigans tonight. That's a nine. Milady, I am afraid there may be more pressing matters such as the mincing princess at this venture. I am set to depart the city in hopes of finding her in the surrounding wilds. Okay, I liked you so much better the first time I met you. You were way more fun back then. We were at a party and the princess wasn't missing yet.
01:35:50
Speaker
Okay. And you were very amenable to being, you know, to calling me queen and whatever. And this time barely gets you to do a freaking bow. I may have been in my cups, ma'am. I do apologize for that. Are you not bound as all knights are by the principles of honesty as one of the many tenants of knighthood? Yes. So did you lie when you said that you were my knight? When you agreed? No. Because that would make you not a knight anymore. I just think perhaps I would give me an intimidation role.
01:36:20
Speaker
Hell yeah. That is a dirty 20. I very much would like to be a knight, ma'am. Perhaps I can convince Lady Electrovoon to depart the city with me on a search and then I can keep her close and also search for the princess. I'll try that.
01:36:37
Speaker
No, Kaldar, I've asked too much of you. I overestimated you and I've asked too much. It's fine. You are my knight. We both agree, otherwise you're not a knight at all. And I task you with continuing to listen to the hot goss and where you can, keeping an eye on Elektra Voon, although of course you must have your freedom and go look for the princess of a whatever. Agree? Understood. Thank you, milady. Now bow. She bows politely and then walks directly towards Elektra Voon. Hmm.
01:37:04
Speaker
Damn. Okay, I'm gonna go back to the manor to try and find Glimky and- Yeah, so I will say that as you depart Bellfire Palace in search of your new companions, that is where we will bring an end to Ba-na-dee-da-dee-da-ba-ba-ba-be-da-ba-be-da-ski-da-ba-ba-da episode four of Barred Soup. Thanks for watching, gang. What? Okay.
01:37:34
Speaker
Happy Halloween! Just kidding. It's February, dumbass. Thanks for listening to this episode of Bard Soup. We hope you enjoyed it. Listen, I'm joined by my dear friends, Prima Zhao as Clay Campbell, Shannon Meekle as Faunalyn Vadark, and Jordan Johnson as Glimpy Treefellow.
01:37:53
Speaker
I'm Zach Meekle, you're humble and charming and oh-so-sweet, Dungeon Master. And, I don't know, we'll be back every two weeks, that's our thing now. We're a two-week podcast. Follow us on... X. Instagram. TikTok. Barred underscore soup. You know the drill. Listen. I'm a greedy little money pig. And you know what I like more than money? Spotify. Five star reviews. If we get five more, we'll do a Q&A. I don't know about what, but we'll do one. Okay. Love you. Bye-bye.
01:38:26
Speaker
you