Transcript
Speaker: Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Our story began in the southern city of Erleniv, in a time of crisis. The princess, Callisto Galtris, has gone missing, and no one seems to know where she is going.
Speaker: We also discovered three future heroes, an adventurous gnome with foliage in his hair named Glimky Tree Fellow, an artistic tiefling with bovine features named Clay Campbell, and a gossipy noble with a flair for the dramatic named Faunalyn Vadok. These three individuals were brought together by fate, and a near brush with vehicular manslaughter, and decided to share what they know about the missing princess. They hatched a plan to meet later tonight and exchange their information. You already said all this.
Speaker: Right, sorry. On with the story.
Speaker: Come gather round travelers and sit on the stoop We'll tell you a story about Batsu Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop We'll tell you a story about Batsu
Speaker: Hello and welcome back to Bard Soup. This is episode two. I am your dungeon master, Zach Meekle, and I am joined today by three beautiful hunks of celery. Hunk number one, Prima. Hello. Hunk number two, Shannon. Hello.
Speaker: And hunk number three, Jordan. Hello. Are we going to try maybe and do that one once more? You complained. You were complaining about me all weeks. And I didn't understand myself. And you just say, hello, hello, hello. So I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. What are you supposed to do? All right, let's talk.
Speaker: What do we want to do with the intro? I think this is perfect. This intro right now is how it turns out. We're currently in it. And this should stay in. None of this gets cut. Because now everyone knows us and the level of chaos that we bring to the table. So now you can start your intro. Perfect. Well, as we rejoin our
Speaker: future heroes in the city of Erdening. The sun has exploded, which is a nightly occurrence in the world of Zav, and darkness has fallen. And we rejoin Clay and Glimpy
Speaker: in Madame Fauvamont's tailor shop. I believe you were kind of just had gone up into Clay's room, a room she rents above the tailor shop. And Glimke, the first thing you would notice is that this is not meant for inhabitants. It's not meant to be a lived -in space. There are several broken mannequins. There's piles of, you know, just like
Speaker: yards of fabric that have been like piled up into corners it is very clearly a storage space that is doubling as a loft and you see uh anything that isn't tailor related there's also uh there's like a bed and some you know a little dresser with you know some clothes sticking out uh and i imagine clay that while there was once a great deal of art supplies in this space it's probably a little less than it was
Speaker: You know, even a few days ago, because I imagine a lot of your art supplies have been relocated to Betlahouse, the artist guild of Aridany. Yep. Yep. Uh, I wanted to ask last time, uh, so right now Faunalyn and the lady she was with just left the tailor shop and we're upstairs?
Speaker: Yeah, they left maybe five, 10 minutes ago. The sun exploded shortly thereafter, a process known as supernova, which is then replaced each evening by nova as the sun is reborn. And yeah, so you've kind of just been left and the two of you have kind of just made your way upstairs.
Speaker: That's a nice space you have up here. Yeah, make yourself comfortable here. I kick some shit out of the way and put some like cloth on the ground, like a futon kind of. Thank you. That's, that's very kind. So obviously, we have to find our way back into the Sapphire district later. So I, you know, you seem very confident about getting us back in there. Oh, yeah, I've been there once before.
Speaker: It was, we were there earlier today to talk to the guards. We were, yeah. I can understand your own emotional state. How do you feel about this lady, was it Vaynar? Lady Rumpus, I think she knows something about the Alberes, so I think it's a good place to start. Wait, who?
Speaker: Lady Rumpus, that's how she introduced herself. Now I'm confused. Has Glimpy already forgotten the plan? Oh, the yellow... Right, right, right, right, right, right. I'm sorry, I thought I was Rumpus. No, she's Rumpus. You're Rumpus. Ah, right, right, right, right.
Speaker: Right. I was getting confused again. What time are we meeting her again? I don't remember. She said tonight? Tonight? Yeah, I need a refresher. He would really help if she was still here. Why didn't we just get into her carriage and go with her?
Speaker: Oh, well, I think she was trying to hide this meeting from whomever she was with there in the shop below, so I think this is a bit of a secret rendezvous. Okay, well, I guess we should head out then, because... And you have a way to get in, or are you just walking back over that bridge we were in earlier? Yeah, last time we went through the sewers, I think that way should still be open. I'm sorry, we're going through the what now?
Speaker: Yeah there was a there's a whole sewer system it leads right into the sapphire district. Ah okay that that sounds pleasant we're talking like this is like a like a water water only situation kind of sewers we're talking about here. What's there what's there?
Speaker: I think the details are not that important. If that's the way in, then perhaps that is the only way we have. Yeah, it was, I would say, not the stinkiest sewer in the world. It was not clean either. There was definitely, you know, some, some stench, some stink, some, you know, it's, it's very much gray water in there. But, you know, it's, it's not so bad in a city that can create a
Speaker: waterfall that pours endlessly into the city itself, they found a way to mostly manage the sewer situation.
Speaker: Not every wizard gets to make beautiful, arcane works of art. Sometimes they make the sewers run a little bit better. That's fair. And that is their contribution. Nice. I want to get more into the logistics of the sewers later. Oh, and you will. Follow us on Patreon for a whole one hour deep dive into the Erdenin sewer system. So my question for the two of you is, what are you bringing with you? Oh, geez. Well, hmm. What do we need to bring?
Speaker: I guess if I'm still carrying around my whole pack, I think it's probably safer to leave that here, if that's okay. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I guess I'll just take with me what I need. I don't know. We're trying to be a little sneaky here. Maybe I could take off this plate of armor. I don't think I need that.
Speaker: are you bringing your uh your sword or shield or leaving that all behind as well perhaps i'll you know i'll i'll have a little i'll bring a dagger along with me here a little little dagger but um you know i'm not
Speaker: I'm not trying to get into trouble, you know, any more than we need to. I mean, you were down there. Is there anything that we should be worried about? No, you're good. I'm bringing all of my normal stuff with me, I guess.
Speaker: Oh, like you're kitting up. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I misread this. As I watch Clay - I'm strapping my mace to my back. Yeah, she kind of kits up as I've like, I guess, doffed my armor. I look over and see that happen and immediately crawl back into it and spend the next 10 minutes donning my armor.
Speaker: excellent i'm sorry i i thought this was a sneaky affair you're looking like you're prepared for anything so maybe i should should be as well excellent so the two of you uh take off your armor and then proceed to put it back on and you go down the stairs into the main uh main shop area of madame fulva mons uh she's gone home for the day uh so you
Speaker: leave through the front door you have a key so you lock it behind you. Above you the the two moons are glowing with the faint afterglow of the sun that has disappeared. You see that there's little specks of green and sapphire blue kind of cosmic stardust just floating amongst the stars above.
Speaker: and you make your way through the streets of the silver district these narrow narrow streets of the silver district until you get to the wider streets of the gold district the sound of the ocean crest falls gets louder as you make your way and before long you are standing on a street that walks right along the waterfall
Speaker: And you see that there's Glimky, I think this is probably the first time being in this exact part of the city. You see that there's houses kind of nestled right up against this waterfall and it's just pouring down. It's almost deafening. And Clay you see nearby is a sewer grant. You see that it has been cordoned off. There's a few posts that have been erected and just some rope that has been strung up around it.
Speaker: Is there any guards nearby? Give me a perception roll. Six plus three, nine. Nine. You don't see anyone? Streets appear to be quiet for the time being. Are there any signs?
Speaker: Um, signs, what kind of signs like, uh, like don't enter or like this place is closed off for whatever reason. I would say it doesn't look like it. There's just these ropes that have been strung up around it. I'd say from where you are, that's like all of the detail you can see. Hmm. Okay. And this is where you, you were hoping to go through. Yeah. That's just the way I took last time. Can we like get a little closer? Sure.
Speaker: Okay, you walk up and Glimky you see that there is a large sewer grate. Or at least, I suppose there was a large sewer grate. You see that there's this hole in the ground there's a large metal ladder just leading deep down into the into the ground, and you see the edges of this
Speaker: This circle looked like they've been melted away. The metal kind of twists and bends and like, kind of almost like a flowing nature to it. It kind of is flowing down into this hole. Was, was this your doing, Clay? Oh yeah. It looks like, uh, the gate's still open. So, so I'm assuming, and I kind of like, uh, get a little closer to it. This, this is your handiwork then you've, you melted through this. This is great here.
Speaker: Yeah, we had to open this gate. I'm glad we don't have to do that again. Can I just like take the ropes off and go in? Well, hold on now. Clay, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to be straight with me. Are we doing something illegal? What? I don't think so, because this is definitely how I got in last time.
Speaker: Okay, I'll take your word for it. Because nothing last time was remotely illegal. Clay, as you reach down and you start to unfasten this rope, a voice from a nearby alley speaks up and says, Hey, what are you doing? Uh,
Speaker: And you see this large kind of potbellied guard kind of rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He steps out of the alley and you see, uh, it looks like he was probably kind of dozing a bit, but you did not hear him with your nine perception check. And, uh, he says, you're not supposed to be messing with that. People could fall in, you know? Oh, that's okay. We won't fall. We're just going into the sewers. Don't mind us.
Speaker: No, I think I have to mind you. That's kind of the whole reason I'm here, is to make sure people don't go into the sewers.
Speaker: Oh, we'll be okay. We'll be careful. Okay. That's great. Believe it or not, I'm not actually worried about your wellbeing. I'm worried about why you're trying to go into the sewers in the first place. And I mean, like, listen, you see the ropes? Those are kind of there to make sure nobody gets hurt. I knew it. They don't need me for that. I'm here to make sure that the people who, you know, melted away the sewer grate a couple of days ago, don't go back in.
Speaker: I see. And he's got this mouth agape head turning look on his face back like, you said it wasn't illegal. I think Clay starts sweating. Sure. Do I know if there's any other sewer grids around here?
Speaker: I mean, you don't know of any off the top of your head, but, you know, you are aware of, uh, that this town has probably many sewer grates, you know, probably if you wander around, uh, you'd be able to find one. Okay. I'm like, okay. I guess I, I, I'm like, okay. And then we walk off. We walk away. Have a good evening. Okay. Bye. Bye, sir. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Speaker: Stay out of trouble. Thank you. We will. And, uh, you watch him kind of, yeah, he like wanders back into the, uh, the alley from where he, where he came. And, uh, the two of you make your way down a few blocks out of, out of your shots.
Speaker: Well, I guess that way's close. Then I'm not sure how to get into this entire district. Well, okay, Clay. I've got a bone to pick with you. Okay. You said it wasn't illegal. Now, I am not opposed to doing illegal things.
Speaker: I just don't want you to lie to me. I didn't know it was illegal to go into the suit. I feel like you did. Next time, give me a heads up so I can just be prepared, you know, a little bit. We just need to be on the same page because then, you know, if that guy came and talked to us, then I can help you out a little bit. Maybe bend the truth around it. Okay. Okay. For sure. I mean, hey, maybe.
Speaker: Maybe we can find another sewer entrance? I mean, there's probably plenty now. This is a big city. Lots of poop. Yeah. Last time we had to get the pink stuff to melt the grate. I don't know if it's going to be easy to do that again. The pink stuff? Yeah. That's why the grate was gone, I guess. We had to melt it down.
Speaker: Hmm. Okay. So. You have to find a new great and some more of this pink stuff to get in, eh? Mm -hmm. And then Gunky kind of like pokes his head back out looking. Is that guy still sitting there? Give me a perception roll.
Speaker: that's not going to be very high nice six yeah that's okay uh he rolled a three on his stealth check and he is sitting on top of a barrel just at the edge of the alley nice okay so he's just he's okay okay well hear me out
Speaker: What if we go back? This guy, I mean, he didn't really put up that much of a fight with us going in. He just told us not to. I feel like we could, we could probably get by. I could cause a bit of a distraction and maybe you could just sneak on down and I'll be right behind you. Okay, sure. Let's try that.
Speaker: Okay. And let's wing it. Okay. Sounds good. I start walking back towards the grade. Excellent. Perfect. Uh, Glifkin wants to sprint past you. Yeah. You're basically taking like two strides for each of hers and, uh, you make it in front. Yeah. I'm going to run by and I'm going to shout at the man's. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, man.
Speaker: Uh... Yep. Uh, I think you're ugly. Give me a deception wrong. Oh, hell yeah. Ten. He squints his eyes at you and says, no, you don't. Okay, well, that's true. Damn it. His chiseled features saw right through it.
Speaker: Can I sneak into the sewers while he's talking to this man? Sure, he is fully looking at Glimki, who is standing between the man and the sewer. So you may attempt to, but he is basically fully looking at the open hole in the ground. Okay. I guess I won't do that then. Am I standing behind the man? He's in between me and Glimki?
Speaker: Uh, no, like we'll say he's like in an alleyway and you're kind of just like up the street a little bit. Glimpy ran ahead. Okay. I waver, I waver away. Stasta. Okay. Okay. Okay. Listen, man. Okay. Uh, name's Reggie. What's yours? You're gonna, you're gonna rit Reggie. Um, Keith. Yeah.
Speaker: holds out this like kind of thick hand these hairy like you know black hair on each fingers is nice to meet you Keith you too Reggie um yep here's the thing okay I'm sorry for what I said that was obviously a lie I get it people are uh feeling a little tense these days you know princess is missing so bad for us all
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, we're all a little riled up. I, I'm sure. You think I want to be watching a sewer grade at 11pm? No, I'd rather be in bed. No, I know. I can imagine you'd rather be out, you know, making a name for yourself. Right? Right. Reggie. I mean, who, who put you here watching the sewer? I'm a boss. Who got they put you on sewer duty?
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, I don't want to be making the same person. I'd rather be, you know, making love with my wife if you know what I mean. Oh, Reggie. That's it. I mean, you could do that every night. No, I can't because I'm on sewer duty. Okay. Well, okay. That's true. Um, you, well, okay. Hear me out. What if, what if Reggie was a household name?
Speaker: You know how we're gonna get there Reggie I don't think I really want to get there frankly, you know how we're gonna get there Reggie We're gonna jump in the gun so to speak. We're gonna save the princess Reggie jump in the old crossbow No, we're gonna save the princess, right? I mean everybody's on edge who who doesn't want to You know no Reggie for saving the princess You're gonna be at home every night Make love to you
Speaker: to your wife and not watch in the sewer ever again. And it's simple, so simple how we're gonna do this. How's that? You're gonna keep watch of the sewer while me and our friend go through. And then when we save the princess, we'll let them know you were integral to this this plan. And then everyone's gonna be like, wow, they couldn't have done it without good old Reggie's help.
Speaker: give me a persuasion roll so by watching this by watching the sewer you will no longer have to watch the sewer and i got i rolled an 18 plus 422 okay he is like kind of
Speaker: he seems like kind of amused by you, you know, and as you're kind of talking, you're starting to make, you're starting to make some sense, you know, household name at home every night, no more sewer duty. He says, all right. This all sounds pretty good. But I kind of have to ask what your business is in the sewers because
Speaker: The other night, I don't know if you heard, but the princess went missing and the next day they found this big old hole in the ground and they think someone went into the sewers and they maybe, I don't know, kidnapped the princess or something. I don't know how to explain that away to be honest with you, but rest assured. Well, I'm not asking you to explain that. I'm asking you to tell me what you're doing. Those two things are not related. How I know that.
Speaker: is a secret. Okay, that's cool. Once again, my question is what are you trying to do tonight? So what I'm I said, hey, Reggie, you and me and and clay now shit. We're going to say we're going into the sewers to save the princess.
Speaker: we're going in to save the princess so this is actually at all not related to the nefarious thing that you mentioned previously and is actually a good thing that we're doing so we need to go in the sewer to save her not to take her that's where i think some lines were crossed
Speaker: No, no, I'm actually getting all that, believe it or not. I think the main thing I'm asking is for some specifics, like what are you going to be doing in the sewers? I'm not accusing you of trying to kidnap the princess because guess what? She's already gone. So if you're trying to do that, you are a couple days too late for that, buddy boy.
Speaker: But what I'm really trying to figure out is why you need to go into the sewers. I'm kind of on board with this whole plan. I just think that, you know, if you say, oh, we're going to go put poison in the water supply and then tomorrow everybody wakes up dead from poison, that I probably need to put that into a report. But, you know, I'm just asking for what your justification is. That's all.
Speaker: We're investigating how the princess went missing. Yeah, we - Okay. That I can work with. Yeah, yeah. What - what - what Glee said.
Speaker: Yeah, gotcha. Keith and clay. Thank you. Yep. All right. Well, you kids have fun out there. And, you know, don't try poisoning the water supply because I'll bust you I would never do that. Yeah. All right. Well, in that case,
Speaker: Have fun out there. Like I said, I'll see you. See you in the morning or later tonight, or maybe never. If you drown in the sewers, that was all the same. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Reggie. I am looking forward to accepting our medals. Um, when we come back with the princess. All right. If you find her in the sewers, then I'll be mighty impressed. I'm not gonna lie. Well, yep. Well, yep. Wish us luck. Good luck.
Speaker: and uh you make your way over to this uh this rope and you pull it aside and uh or like you know kind of duck under it clay steps over it and uh yeah you uh see this cold iron ladder leading down into the sewers of aeronin and you set off you step down onto the first one and then the next and uh with each subsequent step the sound of rushing water above fades away and is replaced by the sound of slowly moving water below
Speaker: And you kind of step down onto the edge of a walkway that is kind of in this large tunnel that goes in either direction. And a second later, Clay steps down off the last rung and the two of you are in the sewers below. Okay, I'll be honest, Clay, I should have probably planned that out more. I think I gave away a little too much. No, I think it was great.
Speaker: Okay, well, as long as you think so. We're in the sewer. Let's go save that princess. Lead the way, old chap. Okay, lead us into the sci -fi district. Yeah, two things. Clay might not realize this, but the last time you went through the sewers, your destination was to the Ruby District, which is
Speaker: different uh no but you are a resident of the city and you have at least a general knowledge of the topography of the like aerial structure like the outline of this city so you have like a sense of where you're trying to get to you know like subconsciously you're not trying to get to the ruby district
Speaker: So I'm going to have you make a survival check as you attempt to navigate these sewers and lead the two of you to something good. What a weird sentence that was. Trying to lead you two to something good. 15. A 15. Would you believe that is exactly what you needed? Yes. Okay. So you,
Speaker: no you need to go north and you're kind of like i need to go directly north and so you kind of uh start to pick out tunnels and there's occasionally uh these like um grates these great walkways that span across like other sides of the of the of the sewer tunnels and the water is a little gray it's a little dirty um it's does seem mostly to be though like a a water runoff and less of a poop
Speaker: sewer, if you will, that's the formal term. Oops. And you kind of spend probably the better part of an hour and a choosing between different forking paths. At one point, you hear just this dripping, like creeping noise from like a side passage and you're like, nope, not that way. And you you go a different one. And before long, you find a ladder that you are pretty sure
Speaker: will take you where you need to go and you climb up it and given the nature of the city the layout of it where you started and where you're trying to get to this ladder is probably three times as tall as the ladder you climb down you are trying to go more than a hundred feet higher than where you were before and you get to the top rung and you
Speaker: you are standing underneath a big old, like a manhole cover, essentially.
Speaker: Can I open it? Yeah, you push up and it's a little, a little stuck, you know, but it's not fastened. Uh, the people of the Sapphire district aren't in the habit of breaking into the sewers as much as the people of the gold or silver or copper districts are. So you are able to push open on this, this cover and it slides out of place and you pull yourself up and you are once again in the Sapphire district. All right. There we go. We're here.
Speaker: Okay, well that worked out pretty well, but do you remember where we were supposed to meet her? Um, I think she said Berthold Manor? Berthold House?
Speaker: That sounds right. But I don't know. This is only my second time. Right in this district. So I'm not quite sure where to go from here. And is he's like sliding the manhole cover back into place? Like, OK, well, I guess we start looking. Yeah. Can I look around? Do any of the like surrounding area that these manners like have signs or like addresses?
Speaker: Yeah, a lot of them, you look around, the street here is wide enough for two, maybe three carriages to ride alongside each other. It's just this beautiful, smooth stone street. You look around and there are various manners and estates with these huge yards and these beautiful brick walls surrounding them, these creeping vines that go up them. The street itself is lined with these ever burning lanterns that kind of keep this
Speaker: these city streets lit at all times throughout the night and you kind of hear off in the distance the sound of the the falls kind of just off in the periphery and you walk over to a nearby gate and see yeah there's a little a little bronze placard which states the name of the family who lives there. And what is this what is this name? Is it Bertolt?
Speaker: The name on this one would be Crowin House. C -R -A -W -W -E -N.
Speaker: C -R -A -W -W -E. Nice. No, no, it's perfect. Okay. If this is anything like what it's like in Dwells, we usually just brunch all of the family names together in alphabetical order. So if I just continue on to the right, we should be at Vernal Manor, right? If this is similar to that.
Speaker: Of course, yeah. You think it's in alphabetical order? I have no reason to believe it otherwise. Okay, let's go. Let's go to the next house. What does the next house say? You said off to the words, the next house, and it is a bit of a smaller, very nice still, but kind of a more compact, smaller yard, a little less fancy. And there is a sign out front that says Gamanch House.
Speaker: With a G? With a G. Okay. Well, I'm out of ideas. Back to the sewers. This is literally impossible. If I look down the street, can I see like carriages or like people or anything like that?
Speaker: Yeah, it's late, but it's not like midnight late. It's, you know, uh, maybe nine getting, but you spent a little while in the sewers. I'd say like maybe closer to 10 or so. Ah, shoot. There's a few people like going for like moonlight strolls. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: couple guards. Okay, not talking to them. Nope. Despite your appearance, the two of you are kind of, you know, you didn't fall into the sewer water, you didn't get, you know, half eaten by a gelatinous cube or anything like that. You look poor but not poor enough to draw attention as you're just kind of standing there talking and walking down the street.
Speaker: Okay, well, I mean, how big is this district? We could be here all night. I have no idea. I guess we could try to ask somebody. I'm assuming there's, is there any shops in this district? Is there a way to get a map of the, of Aridinine, of the city? Yeah, where's the welcome center?
Speaker: That would probably be near the entrance to the city. You know, back near the city gates and the shops would all be closed for the night. You said there's some people walking around.
Speaker: there's some people walking and talking yeah okay let's let's approach this fine looking couple perhaps they'll have an idea you see this half elf man he's kind of stocky got a stockier build he's got this messy brown hair kind of like the boris johnson look where you think it's probably intentional he's walking with this uh this young human woman uh she's got
Speaker: blonde hair and the fantasy version of a spray tan and uh you approach him and what do you say uh uh good evening uh uh friends good evening uh i i don't want to bother you uh then for the best of both of us perhaps you should not okay that's interesting sorry uh
Speaker: I'll let you leave if it's any trouble. I'm sorry. I just had a quick question. The woman says, oh, please, let's us entertain the man. He says, all right, then what is it? Very simple. I'm assuming you know the area well. We're just looking for a friend's place. We've gotten ourselves turned around. We're looking for Sir Clay. What was it again? A rebirth old house?
Speaker: I should have guessed by a diminutive proportions that you are a friend of the both holds Yes points off three blocks that way take a left four blocks up that way can't miss it nice estate bit modest but Somebody write that down
Speaker: Okay, three blocks. Three blocks that way, four blocks that way. That way is which way? Just up the street. Sir, can you draw a map? I can, but I will not. And the two of them walk off into the night. That's fair. Okay, let's head in the direction that he pointed in. Clay, what is with the people around here? Is everyone like this? People like this come into the tailor shop quite often.
Speaker: That's just how they are. That's surprising. Back home, if you get in a conversation, you'd be fighting to get them to shut up, but these people don't want anything to do with you. Yeah, let's hope Lady Rumpus is more...
Speaker: better conversational. I saw a small interaction with her. I believe she is. So the two of you begin to follow the directions given. Meanwhile, as the estate in question at Berthold Manor funnel it, the ride back to Berthold Manor was uneventful.
Speaker: You had a rather brief dinner with Lord and Lady Berthold, the Viscount and Viscountess, and you have since retired to your chambers. Was there anything you wished to ask of them or discuss with them during either the carriage ride or over dinner before you rendezvous with these two strangers you met at the tailor shop or under the wheels of your carriage, as it were?
Speaker: Yeah, um, Lady Berthold. I'd rather wonder if you might know anything about, um, Lady Electra -Voon of Sunfall.
Speaker: I can't say I'm familiar with House Voon from Sunfall. Admittedly, I am not overly familiar with the nobility of Sunfall. It's a rather ignoble city, if you will, in many ways, not quite like the splendor of Ernin. That being said, I can't say that I'm familiar with Lady Electra Voon or House Voon at all. Insight, is she telling the truth?
Speaker: Give me an insight. Okay. Um, I'm just realizing I haven't opened my character sheet yet. Psychotic behavior. An hour into a recording session. Okay. Well, I haven't had to do anything yet. So 21. She seems to be telling the truth. Okay. Yeah. It'd be a weird thing to lie about, but I had to check.
Speaker: All right, and I just wanted to check this lung crusher fellow. Is he in the carriage with us? You can call me Krombeck. Lung crusher, shut your ears, please. All right. No, shut them, please. Are they shut?
Speaker: Oh, he's very good. Late in birth, I rather wondered, is he sort of, you know, is he like a shared bodyguard situation or is he like my bodyguard or is he like your bodyguard? You know, I would never presume. I'm just clarifying because this morning, you know, I realized we were in rather a rush to run to the tailors, which by the way, thank you tremendously for this splendid gown. I think I look quite stunning. I realized it was sort of left ambiguous.
Speaker: um yes no he is employed by House Berthold um and with uh the intention of protecting myself or yourself on the occasions that we venture out into uh well i guess anywhere is dangerous these days based on what happened to you so uh yes he assuming he is not
Speaker: engaged elsewhere, he would be available to accompany you should you set off.
Speaker: on your own. Good to know. So you return and you hand the dress to Fallow and she is quite taken with it. She loves it, kind of just keeps chattering about it for the rest of the evening. She attends to you and helps you get ready for bed. And around 11 o 'clock, I believe, which was the set upon time, you get the sense that you should probably get to Gettin' if you're gonna make your rendezvous.
Speaker: Yeah, I head out to the garden completely made up like full full face wig on daytime clothes But like my cloak drawn very tightly and furtively around me and I I think I Is there anywhere in the yard? Is there like a shed or like a just do is there a hedge maze? Oh my god Please tell me there's a hedge maze
Speaker: Oh, of course there's a hedge maze. Oh, hell yeah. The only problem is it is built for gnomes. So the hedges are no more than four, maybe five feet tall. Okay, I think I go into the center of the hedge maze and I crouch down and maybe like the top of my wig is like slightly poking over the top of the hedge. Excellent. And I just wait. I'm like, they'll know where to find me. I gave perfect instructions.
Speaker: So yeah, you crouch and you wait and the two of you, Clay and Glimke, you kind of are following the directions that you were given. You wind your way through the streets and you see a sign for Berthold Manor. There is a wall that surrounds the estate and a iron gate that is closed currently.
Speaker: Now, Clay, remind me again, did she say to go in or? I think she said yard or garden. Are the walls around this house also gnomite? No. The walls are definitely built with a little more privacy from the outside world in mind. I'd say that they're maybe six feet tall or so. You're kind of like,
Speaker: You can kind of go up on your toes and just peer over. I want to do that. You kind of prop yourself up and you peer in and you see this immaculately groomed yard. There's a fountain depicting a who's who of nautical creatures. He's a little dolphin with some water spitting out of his of his blowhole. And there's a couple of tortoises or sea turtles and some starfish. Very nice. You see
Speaker: like a simple flower garden that's well cared to, these weeping willows. And off to the side, kind of in the corner of the estate, you see a hedge base. The hedges are about four feet tall and sticking out of the center of it, you see a white, poofy wig. Cool. So I can see Faunalyn.
Speaker: You see a wig. Okay. That must be her. Yes. Yeah. Uh, here, let me boost you over the wall. Can I do that? Yeah, by all means. Yeah. Toss me. Yeah. Glimky weighs not a lot and you easily heft him up and over. Okay. Cool. How do I get, you can climb over. It's only six feet tall. That's true. Can I climb over?
Speaker: Yeah. I'm going to have you make an athletics check, please. Okay. Do you want me to make a deck save for my superhero landing? Sure. Yeah, please. All right. Good. Because I got a six. I got a 16.
Speaker: Okay, Clay, you kinda vault your way over, clear over the wall. You land, and you see Glimky picking himself up off the ground, splatted in the grass, and kind of wraps himself up, and the two of you are inside. And as you are making your way over to the hedge maze, you hear the sound of a passing guard just on the other side of the wall, and you just narrowly avoided
Speaker: getting spotted as you jumped into a nobles front yard. This is I'm imagining the most, um, like nature I've been seeing in the city so far. A hundred percent. Yeah. Like I'd say you land face first in the grass and you don't pick yourself up right away. You kind of like,
Speaker: No, I, there's definitely a moment where I like breathe in the dirt. Yeah. Yeah. You get a good lung full of dirt. Nice. That's the good stuff. And, uh, you make your way to this, to this maze. Um, lady, lady, lady fade art. Rumpus, is that you? Oh, right. Rumpus. Sorry. Lady Rumpus. It's I, Rumpus and Rumpus. Well done finding me. I hope it wasn't too much of a bother.
Speaker: No, it was super easy. Clay knew exactly how to get here. Yeah. Didn't take us an hour in the sewers. Well, no follow up questions there. Listen, I'm grateful that you've come to meet me because I think we have rather some information to exchange.
Speaker: um yes uh you start okay yes i will i'm perfectly happy to start and i will start just as soon as rumpus and she points at clay tells me what the hell is going on with this owlbear thing okay i pull out the ring and my sketches of all the owlbears again and i'm like i think the owlbears are involved in the kidnapping of the princess
Speaker: Okay, how do you know the Owl Bears? They're responsible. Okay, so this ring came from the person who was involved with the princess's disappearance. And I show her the ring. And was that person an Owl Bear?
Speaker: No, they were kind of far away. This is the only thing I could really see. But there was an owlbear. Sorry, paint a picture for me. Where were you in relation to this owlbear guy and where was the princess? So my friend was talking to this guy to get our package and that's when he grabbed the ring.
Speaker: And I didn't know, I wasn't sure if, at this point, what was happening. I didn't know the princess was involved, but the package, I think, was the princess. Rumpus, did you abduct the princess? I don't know. You don't know? I think it was the Alpairs. I don't know.
Speaker: I think if you knew that you didn't, you would say so. But because you said, I don't know. It might've been a princess. I've been in this city for one day and now I'm an accessory. But we can find her. We can find her and bring her back. Oh my God, I came all this way and I'm going to jail. Rumpus darling, would you close your ears for a second? I'd like to talk to Rumpus.
Speaker: Um, I look at Clay, I mean, I look at Glimgy and I go, okay, Rumpus isn't listening. So should we like turn her into the authorities or? I've already done that. Yeah, we did. We've been there. We crossed that bridge and we made it all the way back. It didn't take. No, they didn't believe me about the owl bears. That's why we came to you. Yeah. Something about the owl bears.
Speaker: Right, right, right. Okay, well, I happen to recognize that insignia, and I shan't say where. Well, this sounds important. Okay, well, I saw it on the hand of a nobleman at a recent soiree, I think.
Speaker: My memory is kind of fuzzy. I had some champagne and I danced with many rich, very interested suitors. So I can't say for certain upon whose hand I saw it, but I do think it was upon rather a nobleman. And I have my suspicions about who it may have been. In fact, I think, I think
Speaker: No, I shouldn't say. Well, I think perhaps it's speculation, but I think perhaps the young, honorable Lord Xerxes humiliation may be somehow tied up. Is that a person? Who? What? Xerxes humiliation? That's his name? What? Do we know who this is?
Speaker: Can I do some sort of check to see if, is this a common, like a public figure? Yeah, give me a history check. Nine minus one, eight.
Speaker: You are not of the nobility, that should come as no surprise to you. The circles that this lady rumpus seems to spend her time in are so far beyond your social capital, you do not know who Lord Xerxes' humiliation is. What you do know
Speaker: is you have spent some time around the docks and you know the crest of humiliation house sits upon maybe half of the shipments coming and going from the city. That is what you know. And I'd say nothing beyond that.
Speaker: Okay, so I know that they're involved with shipping and trade, I guess? Yeah, and I think being someone who spent a good deal of time in Erdenin, you know that a lot of the city's wealth historically is built upon trade. It's kind of how it's made a name for itself is if you want something, you can have it brought into Erdenin, and if you're trying to get something, you can probably get it shipped from Erdenin. What does the humiliation crest look like?
Speaker: Simply enough, it is a double -masted sailing ship. Did I see it on the night of the princess's kidnapping? No, but it's typically on like crates or barrels. Okay. Maybe a flag. Sell them upon other things that you may have come across that evening.
Speaker: sorry darling can you just walk me through where so you picked up who you think was the princess from where from the castle uh from the the
Speaker: terraces the moving terraces oh yeah that was my first time there see now that's tremendously interesting because i happen to have been there the night the princess was abducted and i knew there was rather a commotion because you see someone attempted to murder me and did in fact murder my dear friend equa and then i ran into well i ran into the prince is the prince the princesses
Speaker: No, Prince Elling Malphurth was visiting. He's allegedly courting her. So it's very interesting that we were all sort of in the same place that night. Like, what was he doing there? I've always wondered.
Speaker: When was this soiree and when did the princess go missing? The soiree was the night that the princess went missing. It was the night before. It was the night before. Okay, okay. Oh yeah, because I got the letter the next day. Yes. Interesting. The night before, yes.
Speaker: You both seem to know a lot of people. Thank you. And it seems as though those relationships are beginning to cross here. So I think it would be silly of us to assume that there is not a connection with this Xerxes humiliation.
Speaker: Well, I do want to be clear. I see I remember seeing the ring rather clearly that night. I cannot say for certain whose hand it was upon, but I'm just thinking back. He is the one who rather, you know, sort of held and kissed my hand the most. But there are other suspects. You see, it might have been on the hand of a Lady Electra Voon.
Speaker: could very well have been on the hand of the actual Baron humiliation. It could have been on Sir Clatier -Caldar, could have been on Baron Thalerun -Reduc. See, you know, we've really got a host of suspects. It's just logically, I think humiliation makes the most sense. And also this shipping connection is intriguing to me.
Speaker: Mm hmm. Exactly. I mean, it seems as though it makes sense that it is someone that belongs to that house. Unless, I mean, Clay, you didn't see who you got the ring off of? No. Do you think that maybe they dropped it on purpose? I mean, ooh, devious. Do I think that I mean, it would make sense. Something to find in that area would be to belong in that house they ship there. So
Speaker: Mm -hmm. Clay. Yes. Looking back, kind of recollecting the events of that evening, a lot happened. It's a little bit fuzzy. I'm going to need you to make a insight check. Insight into my own memory? Into your own memory. Uh, insight. Well, plus three. Fifteen. Fifteen. With a fifteen, what you recall
Speaker: is your I don't know if you would call him friend or associate Riggs approach this individual they shook hands and when Riggs pulled his hand away you saw a flash of silver so he slipped it off this guy's hand that is what Riggs told you if you think there's something more to what happened
Speaker: Probably the only person who could tell you for sure would be Riggs Trembly. Okay, I think we need to talk to my friend, because he's the one who gave me the ring afterwards. Am I crazy, or does it feel like the three of us are sort of like an inevitable, fated, destined trio? I mean, so far my only connection to both of you is that I was struck by a vehicle. Yes. Destiny's heavy hand. Indeed.
Speaker: It was rather a useful introduction, wouldn't you say? I mean, you know something of my character. I know something of your resilience. Yeah, I guess that's the way you could take it. I did come this direction looking for some sort of adventure, and it seems that it has found itself in you both. So perhaps we need to find your friend. His name was Riggs? Riggs Trimbly? Yeah, Riggs. He was there that day. I think we should go talk to him.
Speaker: okay well it sounds like as good a lead as any sounds good to me um do you know where he might be do i know where rix would be the clubhouse or wherever that's a decent bet you know it's not his only crash pad if you will but there's a chance uh you will find him here there tonight do i have any other way of contacting him
Speaker: Not really. Most of the time he contacts you, usually in the form of sending Una or Patrick to see you. Occasionally he'll leave a letter at your place if it's something not sensitive. But oftentimes you kind of just wander in there when you're looking for work and if there's something to be done, he'll let you know if there's a job to bring you in on. Yeah, I know where he might be. Let's go to
Speaker: meet him before we go clay i understand your sort of entanglement here um i assume you're being tormented by the guilt of your aiding the betting the abduction of an innocent woman
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. And I have my own very legitimate reasons for wanting to find the princess. Glimky, what's your skin in the game? I need to know that you're reliable. It's crazy because I was going to ask you the exact same thing. I was just waiting for a beat.
Speaker: You got to make the beats. The beats don't come to you. You make them. I see that. I'm sorry. I don't fully understand exactly why you're here either. And to be quite honest, I don't know why I'm here either. I would like to be part of something, you know, I've been collecting
Speaker: I think for my past few months, some pretty exciting stories and I've met some pretty interesting people, but I mean, how do you beat a missing princess? I would regret if I didn't, you know, at least try to help out. At least it would make for a good story.
Speaker: Okay, small rumpus, shut your ears please. Tall rumpus, do we think that's legit? Is that good enough? Is that high enough stakes? Because it feels like he could cut and run, you know, at any sort of minute. I think so. He seems like a good person. I feel bad for dragging you both into this, but I would really love both of your help to find the princess.
Speaker: it's something i need to fix i've been dragged into nothing i am here of my own absolute volition i think we're good to go i i think we should work together we can pool our resources i think we should make a pact okay we can do blood spit or piss i vote blood i was leading piss but i can do blood it's gonna be spits in his hand i take out a dagger i come
Speaker: I unsheathe. So I've been walking around with a parasol. I have a parasol clutched in my hand. I click something on the base and unsheathe a full -sized rippear. And I instantly cut my hand and reach it out towards both of you. I feel like this blood is just dripping on my fingers. I cut my hand with a dagger too and shake her hand.
Speaker: And the folks back home are not gonna believe this. And I cut my hand and I cut my hand. And I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I cut my hand and I
Speaker: the rumpus pack yeah the rumpus pack as it will become to be known in days to come we're the rumpus three um also by the way you both have hepatitis now sorry
Speaker: It's going to be a good plot beat later. We're going to have to find the cure for hepatitis. That's arc two. It's like lycanthropy. Adding that to my notes. Um, right. Rumpus, would you lead the way, darling? Okay. Actually, what are your real names? Because the Rumpus thing is becoming difficult to distinguish.
Speaker: I'm Clay. Nice to meet you. You can call me any number of names. Keith. Yeah, I picked up a new one on the way here. Keith, Kiki, Glimke, Keemstar. Okay, Keemstar, let's go. No, don't use that one. I don't like that one. Okay, Glimkeeth, on the way.
Speaker: Um, so you are heading in search of, um, do actually, before we go, do we want me to grab the hired help or is lung crush around? He's been here the whole time.
Speaker: He pops out of a dork -sized topiary. I own everything. No, he is contracted to escort you when you go out to various events. You going to the most destitute part of the city at midnight was not in the itinerary, and thus he is not around at the time being. He has probably gone home for the night. Okay. Pity. We're going to the bronze district, I think, right? Copper district. Ugh.
Speaker: Sorry copper My question then is how are you planning on getting there? We're jumping down the waterfall again Again you're saying sorry Jimmy down the waterfall again Aim for the bushes yeah
Speaker: Yes, the best thing to fall into between bushes and water. Definitely choose the solid. People stop people from going into higher districts, but do they stop people from just leaving? Oh, they wouldn't stop me. We can be your guards. Let's go then. Yes, for sure. Zach, am I bullshitting? Would they actually let me through? You've never tried, but you've got no reason to think they wouldn't let you through if you requested it.
Speaker: okay does clay have a point like is is the security more one way than the other like like if i came strolling out of the sapphire district would they be like whoa what are you doing leaving i think you will only know for sure if you try but i think there's probably a chance if yeah a guy smelling of sewer walks out of the fancy part of town he might get some questions fair enough
Speaker: you don't smell like sewer thankfully but uh you know is there is there any um flowers in this garden oh yeah there's there's flowers i would just eat i mean can i just pick some yeah yeah yeah you uh you grab a handful of uh roses perfect thank you whoa roses yoink faunalyn any reaction
Speaker: I'm looking on in like abject horror because there's a rich person garden. Those roses are probably like cultivated. That's like a decades long lineage of rose. And that was like, you know, we're growing them for prize evaluation or something and you just pluck it and I'm like, I am afraid of you now.
Speaker: I fear Glimpy a little more. Just pick the flowers. They're just flowers. You don't respect the prize winning roses? Those were show roses. Then by all means, we should be showing more people the beauty of the roses now. A true agent of chaos. They're stuck behind a six feet behind this wall. Seems like only a small group of people get to look at them. Yes, that's what makes it so delightful.
Speaker: Have you ever thought that perhaps the flowers would like to see more than just one garden? And then I walk away. You walk away with the dead flower in your hand? The recently murdered flower? I'll put them in water. Yes, I'm sure that's what it likes. I was gonna say if there's fountains, I was gonna like
Speaker: dip some cloth and then wrap the stem so it lasts longer. If we're holding roses, they won't stop us from leaving. Oh, fuck it. I'll do it too. And I also rip a rose out of the bush. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Now you're getting it. Rumpus indeed.
Speaker: Making your way through the well -lit streets of the Sapphire District, no one interrupts you or stop you until you reach one of the Oceancrest Bridges, in which there are a half -dozen guards stationed on it, three at either end, and one of them is this elven man with long flowing hair, and he kind of ignores Clay and Glimky and his eyes lock on to
Speaker: Faunalyn, and he says, good evening, mom. Going out for a stroll? Yes, I'm going to beat Nanya. And I keep walking. I like don't even stop. He sighs rather loudly, but does not make any further effort to interact with you.
Speaker: See, take note, you two, because it's really just best that you don't engage. It's our civil right to keep secrets. You know, we're entitled to our little secrets, our little rendezvous. It's none of his business. So just don't engage. You know, don't dignify him with your time. I just go to Glenfield. That's just how they are. That's just how they talk. Wow. So like Nanya's made up. That was like a fake thing. Oh, yes. I wish she'd asked who Nanya was because it was going to be a devastating burn. But I'll save it for next time.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Well, hopefully somebody falls for it. Yes. Oh, just you wait. Although actually I should introduce you when I get the chance. I really do think you'd get along with my dear friend Nanya, different from the other Nanya. Sounds lovely. Who's Nanya? Business! And I march on.
Speaker: As you cross the bridge, you kind of see the lower districts of the city laid out before you. It's quiet. It's probably just around midnight at this point now, and you kind of make your way down this great stone set of stairs until you find yourself in the gold district.
Speaker: and as you go the streets get a little narrower and the buildings get a little less nice you see kind of less guards there's not these ever burning lanterns that kind of line the sapphire and ruby districts and you make your way through the the the gold district into the silver district the streets get narrower and uh you know
Speaker: less patrolled, darker even, and beneath your feet you notice that the the cobblestone that has been carrying you gives way to dirt roads and you venture into the copper district. You start walking down these like narrow winding alleyways, you look down one of them and you see a pair of glowing yellow eyes peering out at you. You hear the sound of a
Speaker: shouting from often a closed up like boarded up house yeah you uh you see a couple of drunks sitting on the corner they're kind of just singing to themselves having a little little outdoor concert until clay you lead the two of them to a familiar building it's very simple
Speaker: uh in its appearance it's got a simple kind of wooden door it's painted but the paint is all peeling and this is the clubhouse or the spot where you are able to track down Riggs and his crew most nights sorry uh clay do you live in this neighborhood like normally oh no i just come here for work and yeah why i put my hand on her shoulder
Speaker: it's gonna be okay yeah we're definitely gonna save the princess you're right you're so right and then can i open the door you open the door uh the two of you see this dark is no lights on this dark space kind of just with the bit of light pouring in from the the moon's the natural light glimkey do you have dark vision yep yes i do
Speaker: Fifth edition, everyone has darkvision. I don't know why I asked. Except for the dumbass humans. Not me. You definitely do. Oh, just kidding. I do. My bad. Stupid humans. The three of you kind of with your darkvision even, you can kind of see just the room is cast in these shades of gray. No, no color can be seen.
Speaker: but you see just you know some beat up furniture there's like a couch with like tears in it stuffing kind of poking out you see that there's a little bar area and there's dusty liquor bottles kind of put alongside these these mismatched glasses none of them match each other at all
Speaker: And as you step into this room, there is a sudden... And you see this shape, kind of cloaked figure, appears in front of you, blade out, kind of holding it to, we'll say, faunal and throat. What the... Oh, shit. What are you doing here? Why have you come? And that is where we will end tonight's session. Damn it. Is it una? Rude?
Speaker: you
Speaker: Thanks so much for listening to the second episode of Barred Soup. Once again, my name is Zach Meekle. I am the Dungeon Master for this group. I also do the editing for the episodes. I am joined by Prima Zhao as Clay Campbell, Shannon Meekle as Faunalyn Vadark, and Jordan Johnson as Glimky Treefellow. If you are liking what you're hearing, consider giving us a follow on our socials. We're on Instagram and Twitter at Barred underscore Soup.
Speaker: We would also appreciate if you gave us a five -star review on Apple Podcasts or whatever podcast platform you use. We're trying to grow this thing as much as we can and would love to have your support. We will see you next week with episode three and until then, take care.
