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Vecna: Session 1 - Part 1
40 Plays6 months ago
Join our heroes, Slurm, Ambernock, and Dangernoodle as they embark on a new adventure in Vecna: Eve of Ruin!
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Transcript
Introduction & Stream Announcement
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi everybody. Before we get into the show, just wanted to let you guys know we're doing a new thing. We've started streaming on Twitch at twitch dot.tv slash idmroleplay. That's all one word. um And we are going to be streaming episodes, currently episodes of Vecna, Eve of Ruin. in 5th edition D&D and then I'm also going to be putting mostly unedited versions of that episode basically I'll cut out maybe some of the chatter at the beginning and end of the twitch stream but for the most part I'm just copying the twitch stream over here
00:00:42
Speaker
To the podcast it will be scattered in along with the regular episodes um and That way you know you guys can see what we're doing now because several of many of our episodes were recorded a long time ago and I'd like you guys to be able to hear what's going on right now along with all the Twitch streamers. So Twitch episodes I'll be dropping within a week of it airing on Twitch so it'll usually be a week late. And then our non-Twitch episodes will you know come when they come and I can get them edited. So hope you enjoy and here is the show.
Character Introductions
00:01:46
Speaker
Welcome adventurers to another episode of Integrated Dice Management. um We are playing a new game ah vkna eve of ruin a dunge and and dragons fifth edition game in which the players start at level ten and deal with a mer multiverversal threat tonight i and most nights at least i am your dungeon master ron and with me is hayden
00:02:17
Speaker
Hey, ah for the first time in a long time I actually introduced first. um I'll be playing Ashu Danger Noodle, Slytherin Inyo. She is a Yuanti Pureblood, a warlock.
00:02:33
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know that I will ever say that full name, but... That's okay. You can say any part of her name and she'll probably respond. I'm calling her Noodles. You can also call her ah Cashew. Okay. she She goes by many names. Right. Carl, come here. Fuck you. Sorry. And so ah we also have Frank. Hi, I'm Frank. I will be playing Amber Nock, the Warforged.
00:03:07
Speaker
um And I will DM occasionally, but maybe not on this particular game. Probably not in this particular game, but probably not. And last but not least, Bill. Hey, everybody. I'm Bill, and I'm going to be playing Slurm, our goblin artificer. Yay. He's back. listen Yeah, he is. You may one day hear Slurm in his younger form. We have a few of those episodes recorded. My God. You're hearing the background. I don't ever want to hear that in the background again, actually. If I hear that in the background when I'm in bed, I'm... I'm going to call it gooooblyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
00:04:18
Speaker
Yeah, I'm keeping a decent distance tonight for Slurm specifically.
Slurm's Shop and Giant Peacocks
00:04:23
Speaker
one time it go ahead Remember that one time his voice was like so rad that his computer just shut off? Yes. Yes, I do remember that. Yeah, that was that was great. I remember that one. Yeah. All right. our our adventure opens on the shining metropolis of Neverwinter, um brought to you by Neverwinter or not, no. Previously, that one place that one place that you they always talked about in the Dungeons and Dragons movie, but they never actually showed. Did they talk about Neverwinter in there? Like five separate times. Oh, okay. yeah or it is Those are familiar with the Dris De Worden books.
00:05:13
Speaker
I don't know if Drinks Never Goes to Neverwinter. There is a and ah game called Neverwinter Nights also. I think it's an MMO. um But Neverwinter, also known as the City of Skilled Hands and the Jewel of the North. It was a bustling, cultured, cosmopolitan city-state in northwest Faerun. It was regarded by Volo, the famous wizard Volo, as the most cosmetologist cosmopolitan and civilized city in all of Faerun. You guys are here for various reasons. Slurm, you I believe have recently set up shop in Neverwinter.
00:05:55
Speaker
um ah Your I guess it's a magic item shop. um Yeah, it's um, uh It is it is a shop out front there are four statues of uh, Form of fallen comrades one goliath A a man with a fallen youth all died yeah Well, not necessarily you just oh yeah, it's just yeah He just fell that one time. Yeah, he fell this one time. I had to pick him up. He was big. There's a Goliath, a man with strangely a glaive where the back end is shaped like a butt. o A bugbe who as the ah bugbear. This one is one of our fallen. And and ah at the bottom, slippy two hands. i And in quotations, I didn't do it.
00:06:54
Speaker
me And a paladin ah down at the bottom with a flaming fit with a flaming fist ah insignia on there. And down at the very end is just this little cheap like, those are all good. Down at the very end is like this little cheap one ah but looks like a green of like a green dude with pointy ears and a spear. And at the bottom it says Dennis.
00:07:19
Speaker
And if you didn't get any of those references, then go back and listen to some previous episodes of podcasts, because obviously you started too late in the series. Well, those episodes may or may not ever be uploaded, but they don't know that. But as you but honestly, most people are only going to know it as the peacock plays, because I breed giant, ah giant riding peacocks for small races.
00:07:47
Speaker
So you can get around in style. So you're going to sell me one of your giant peacocks. I want to hear your sales pitch. All right, Amber, you walk into Slurm. Oh, my God. Yes. Fucking. All right. Shit, I wasn't planning on doing this. OK, you literally asked, bro. You might. You were probably there for other reasons, but, you know, you just walk and see it. As soon as you walk in, as soon as you walk in, you're going to hear something Oh, very strange. Here.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah, no, it you're on a chain. Oh, fuck. Can you hear me? Yes. OK. Start over one second. So still talk directly into the mic. Don't move around. Gotcha. So as soon as you open the door, one of the hinges has a slight glow. Shut up, Siri. And all of a sudden you hear. me As you walk in. And then from a chain from a chain, you see a goblin swing past you. One moment, sir, I'll be right with you. Now, I think you guys may have met before um or is this your first meeting?
00:09:14
Speaker
Let's make this their first meeting. I like that. I made an assumption that it was the first meeting. Well, I would say that's up to up to Frank. Is this Amber, like I think we discussed how you two might have met, but this could be the first time you've met.
00:09:38
Speaker
Frank? Obviously, I forgot that I had it muted. um I I would assume. No, I'm off track. Let me rewind my brain for a second. do justelance slowlyly but All right. I would have assumed that I came here at least once before to have some maintenance done on myself. um So Slurm, you would know me as ah a warforged that is a clockwork warforged. OK.
00:10:13
Speaker
and also a pain in your ass. yeah
00:10:18
Speaker
but yeah so and This is fine it the first time I've been here. It's probably been a minute since I was back last. All right. Slurm aher sllur probably didn't realize it was you when you walked in. He just kind of said that as a reaction because he wasn't actually paying attention. He was doing something else. And in the corner, you hear three three loud dings, ding, ding. And then on this third one, you see you hear and see a small explosion. And Slurm just lands on the counter, smoke billowing off of his ears, lifts up his goggles. Oh, hey, Amber, what's up?
00:10:54
Speaker
What can I do you for?
00:10:59
Speaker
Hello, Slurm. It's good seeing you again. Yes, yes, I always love my favorite co clockwork customer. What can I do you for? I walk up to the counter and um I ah put my, I'm assuming you're at the counter now? Yeah. OK, I woke up to the counter and I like hop up and do a back arch and kind of like lean towards you. And I'm like, oh, I just noticed the sign for. Sorry, my voice cannot. yeah isn All You know, I just. get caught shit Oh, I just noticed your sign about your cox.
00:11:44
Speaker
I was wondering how much for one. Are they are they a good ride? Well, you're a little large for one of my babies. Oh, I intended for people more of my stature. Oh, I believe that can be a raid. Just. why why
00:12:07
Speaker
Well, sir, if if you could guarantee that you don't end up crushing one of my one of my precious beauties, I'll show you what I've gotten stuck. Well, it it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be for myself, of course. um And then I like open my chest and a cat hops out. Oh, no.
00:12:33
Speaker
What the fuck? keep that So um on one of my previous visits, Slurm, I had you modify my chest cavity um to basically create a TARDIS-like um environment inside, so larger on the inside. um And I already passed that with Ron that it was something that was OK. So I traded one of my magic items for it. um How big is this magical storage room? What did we decide on, Ron? It was 64 by 64. It's basically a bag of holding. So, yeah. OK, it's just it's a bag of holding that um a living creature can survive in. Oh, that is interesting. That is an interesting thing. so like I can fit in there and not be able. You have to be able to fit through the hole.
00:13:25
Speaker
Yes. OK, it's like what the pectoral area would be plus ah the first pack of of packs of the six pack. So if we get some real lump limber. Just give him real lubed up. He can fit inside there. Yeah, we can fit Slurm in his chest and be like, surprise bitch, go. He had to be inside at one point or another just to get the everything worked. I'm a small race, y'all. I might be able to actually fit in there. Yeah. Slurm, get out of my chest.
00:14:01
Speaker
but You can't make me! Dude, oh my God, you're... I go into magical lamps, you just go into, you go into his chest. And he took us in his arms and legs. And then you take your lamp in there with me and I pop out in his chest. How, what happens then? You know, we're all just in my chest. Yes. Well, wait, wait. If it works like a bag of holding. Yeah. If it works like a bag of holding, I,
00:14:34
Speaker
I switch my infusion for my winged but ah for my winged boots with the bag of holding. If I go in that with my bag of holding, isn't that going to? Oh, that is true. No, if you put any sort of extra dimensional space inside any other extra extra dimensional space. So if it's like loads the portable hole, the bag of holding, um the handy haversack, there's one more, I believe. wow and If you put any sort of extra-dimensional space inside of it, any other extra-dimensional space, both are destroyed and your contents are lost to the demiplane. Demiplane? No, the astral. So we just pop up in the astral if someone brings a bad holding in here.
00:15:21
Speaker
Basically, it's a good thing I don't have an actual bag of holding. So, yeah, seriously, you could put me in my like when I go in my lamp, it's just like a funny game that you put me in his chest. I'm like, get me the fuck out of here, you assholes. Is the lamp an extra dimensional space, though? Is it? Would it be considerable? That's that's a DM ruling on that. Let me check. Well, it's probably more of a portal to the the ah genies home plane.
00:15:52
Speaker
So while you are touching the vessel, you can use it the following ways. Bottle respite. As an action, you can magically vanish and enter your vessel, which remains in the space you left. The interior the interior of the vessel is an extra dimensional space in the shape of a 20 foot cylinder. So you would kill me. I would go to the astral. yeah Now, theoretically, you could hold the end of your vessel up to my opening. So when I pop back out, I just go in your chest? Yeah.
00:16:29
Speaker
So obviously it's doable. Yeah, so I get a 20 foot radius cylinder and 20 foot high. So it's like a little tent in there. Yeah, it's like that tent from the from Harry Potter. walk in, it's like a whole fucking mansion. But it doesn't smell like cats this time because it says it is cushioned and low tables and has a comfortable temperature. No cat smell. Oh, I can make it smell like a cat. Oh, fuck you. Get your cat out of my. yeah
00:17:00
Speaker
well if it And the so the cat that pops out of your chest, Frank, is it just a normal cat? Uh, yes. Ah, okay. I can get you into one of our small sizes. Come right this way. Uh, the cat follows you. Now, meanwhile, um, ha-sh-zoo, how do you say it?
Marketplace Scene with Hashu
00:17:22
Speaker
Ha-choo, ha-choo, ha-choo, ha-choo, ha-choo. Yeah, just call me. Just call me Noodles or something. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger.
00:17:52
Speaker
in the same vicinity or you can okay where where is your shop Danger ah Like, where is it in the city? Like, is it by like the common marketplace or is it like? Yeah, it would probably be by the common marketplace. It wouldn't. This would be his first shot here in Neverwinter. So he he definitely didn't get into the ritzy side of town. You're probably off of the main drag, though. You're not like. Yeah, yeah you're not like pumpkins squash. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah, I'm definitely not down out in the sticks, but I'm also not in like the rich area. But yeah, I'd say off I'm off the main thoroughfare.
00:18:32
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, so what you would see if you did see me in this bustling center of a Metropolis um is you would see Hashu going throughout the streets like a traveling trader ah with random objects just, you know, trying to sell her wares. um And specifically, she's holding one of these items with a
00:19:04
Speaker
with a ah left arm, a prosthetic left arm. um And she's holding it in in the prosthetic left arm. It's also like, ah has like an attachment on the end that makes it like the the T-Rex mouth claw thing. Is the arm, is the prosthetic arm replacing a normal arm or you is your normal arm holding a prosthetic arm? My normal arm is holding the end of the prosthetic arm. Got it. And so it's like up in the air um and I'm holding around a straight razor and saying, straight razor for sell, straight razor for sell, it will cut anything, never goes dull.
00:19:47
Speaker
Ooh. Well, I guess they're inside so they wouldn't mess this up. But I guess sometimes I do like to come by the goblin's hut and just mess with him and like tap on those windows until he comes out and yells at me.
00:20:02
Speaker
Fast forward some time and I'm assuming that we'd be taking the the rideable peacocks for a test ride, right? Oh yeah, absolutely. I would take you to the small ones because you're just a little kitten i'd and you know, I'd be giving you the whole sales pitch. Sir, if you want to ride around in style, nothing says look my way. Quite like a peacock full flare. you
00:20:30
Speaker
So my pretty boys all know how to strut. They know that they're the hottest piece in town. And they know everyone's looking their way. My birds are born confident.
00:20:47
Speaker
that Like immediately, you start doing its chipper noise when like birds are when like he's a bird. Yeah. permit me you may yeah man Why you sound like a goat, Frank? Meow. Frank, you never, you never pick animal noises again, Frank. You are. Meow. Meow. These are all wrong. How are you this bad at this? I didn't think about trying to make cat noises before I did this, OK? That's something I do on a regular basis.
00:21:24
Speaker
um Meow.
00:21:29
Speaker
well A lot better, but anyways. Wow. So yeah, that's what my character is doing. My character is just going to the street saying, straight razor for sale, straight razor for sale never goes dull. Cut beards for eternity. Pass it on to your grandchildren. And right over here. Oh wait, someone's passed by the shop. I know this voice. Oh, straight razor. And then like the moment i so I hear your, I see your shop, I immediately stop talking and like crouch down. I'm going to try to stealth.
00:22:03
Speaker
Oh, you son of a bitch. All right. i seventeen So you like to make a habit of ah fucking with me? Yes. OK. Recognizing that voice, Ron, I kick open the front door. No, sorry, i I know. Sorry, we're not inside anymore. We're outside now. I hop over the fence for the car where the peacocks are. One second, my beeline friend. and I hop over the fence and I'm immediately gonna hunt for him. Gonna try to find him. What is that? a ah You can either do a perception or, since you're searching, you can do an investigation. But I am wearing my cloak of ever ever kind. when i When I see your shop, I do put on my cloak of ever kind, elven kind, and so any perception check against me is at disadvantage. Then I'm gonna roll investigation.
00:22:54
Speaker
I guess it does specify perception, not investigation. It does say perception.
00:23:03
Speaker
Eighteen! Yeah, don't find me. All right, yep. Yeah, so I'm like hunkered down in like my normal route that he's like hasn't really seen me in before. um And a like our eyes immediately lock eye contact. And he says, how much do you want for the prosthetic arm? Um, I said straight razor. You can't have my arm. Oh, really? Are you sure? Are you sure that's not up for? Yeah, it is. And I like, ah you see me put the straight razor in a cloth, like, we like holding my armor all the way. So like I drop the straight razor into my hand using like the full length of the arm. and Um, I put the the straight razor in a cloth and I go over and like,
00:23:54
Speaker
happy on the head with the hand? And I go, no, you can't have this. I keep telling you, I can make it better. And I can almost guarantee it won't explode. See, that's what worries me is that it might explode. How would you feel if your arm exploded? I've exploded. I exploded this morning.
00:24:18
Speaker
Flew right across the shop. Flew right across the shop. I think I just got all the soot out of my ear. Anyways, do you want the straight razor and I pick it back up with my prosthetic claw? Yeah. I take a look at it. i've I drop my goggles down and I roll through my lenses. You want a demonstration? No, not necessary. I roll through my lenses. I'm not going to shave you with that. That goes against my customer policy. No, no, um just just hold it out. Just hold it right there and.
00:24:57
Speaker
Do I need to do I need to cast a tech magic to tell what this is or is this like ah or is this an arcana to see if this is actually to see if this is actually magical? Go for it. Well, which one? Because it was never it was never distinguished to me exactly how, but I assume if you were all high enough, I will tell you based on what Braun. Magical item equal not magical but random item. He's giving me um I'll show you on which one I'm specifically talking about. Okay, I'm trying to figure that out right now. It's John Cena Actually comes out and punch using like damn face Then he just disappears as he white as he ah swooshes his hand in front of his face I Gave that to you
00:25:47
Speaker
Yes, you did. OK. Oh, it's that is that in here? Yeah, yeah, it's one of the random items you gave me. um
00:26:02
Speaker
Bill, though, what are you doing, Arcana? ah That's what I was trying to figure out. Would it be better to get to you make an Arcana role or would it be better to cast a Detect Magic? Well, that's up to you.
00:26:15
Speaker
Do you want to cast a spell to figure this out or do you want to try to do it based off of your keen intellect? I'm gonna go ahead and cast a spell for this one. Okay. Yeah, damn you Hey, it's a that's an int based ability I'm pretty good at those wait, doesn't it take like 10 minutes for you to cast a spell I
00:26:41
Speaker
It's a concentration spell for up to 10 minutes. Oh, okay. He's using a spell slot to do it, I guess. so um Oh, sorry. I was thinking prepared, where if you have it. Well, you detect ah quite a few um you know magical presences around you. um on your warforged friend, yourself, this guy, various people, they're carrying random magic items and stuff, but the straight razor itself, bears a faint magical aura, probably from the school of, um, maybe a little, a hint of, a hint of necromancy and a hint of divination. Okay.
00:27:29
Speaker
okay
00:27:33
Speaker
Yeah, that's an interesting piece you've got there. Hmm.
00:27:41
Speaker
Are you at like a stall or are you just walking around waving it around trying to sell to people? I'm waving it around like above everyone's heads with my prosthetic arm, with my arm all the way stretched out. Well, let me ask you something, Noodle. Do you want the razor or not? What were you looking to get for this? Four gold. Four gold? Four gold. You know what? How about I give you ten gold just for the convenience?
00:28:24
Speaker
Sure. Don't think Slurm knows how to haggle. Yeah. Sure, Slurm. Yeah. i I drop the I like hold it out to you with a prosthetic arm. I'm like arms distance away from you. And that's also another thing is you will notice her standing at arm distance away from anyone she's really talking to. Most of her prosthetic arm. Is it to arm distance or arm? and Sorry, it would be two more to arm distance. Thank you. Have you even one time brought the brought the straight razor directly like within your touch? That you've seen me so far? Yeah.
00:29:04
Speaker
I have dropped in my hand in a cloth. Okay. Slurm reaches out and you'll notice the hand he uses has this ah black has this black iron gauntlet the whole way on. And it's also covered in soot. So you assume it's probably the the arm he uses what ah he uses most while forging. Okay. I guess it's up to Ron whether this affects it or not. But yeah, if you if you touch it, something might happen. Sorry, I missed that. What's going on? So his hands are filthy because he's a damn. Well, and not just and not just that the hand I used to grab it is dirty goblins goblins. But the hand that Slurm uses to grab it is is a black iron is a black iron gauntlet that he uses that he uses a lot for blacksmithing. So he doesn't directly touch it. Uh, nothing happens.
00:29:58
Speaker
Can I do while I'm holding it in my hand, can I do a closer arcana check because sir, can I have my gold now? Oh, I already did that. I already handed that to you. he Oh, no, sorry. you here You did not. Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I got distracted. yeah So he reaches with his other hand in this little end of this grubby pocket on his apron. and he calls it And he pulls out 10 gold pieces. And after touching them, they are they do have little goblin soot fingerprints on them. ti ti ti take think I hold up my prosthetic arm to take it. ah You might not want to do that. Soot can stain that stuff. At least you can wash your hand. Yeah, how about you take your own advice, filthy filthy boy?
00:30:49
Speaker
be I every night. Thank you very much. My wife would hate it if I came if I came home and ruined our sheets. You're married. Please tell me, please tell me that we're going to have a a episode where Tasha comes in and plays your wife. Actually, technically in this game, Slurm is married a Slurm is ah married to Ron because ah oh, shit. Slurm back in the day. If you remember, Slurm had picked up a girlfriend a girlfriend early on in that campaign. Correct. Yeah. Vendetta Cress. She is a Tiefling. Obviously, obviously we have to get Tasha in to play this Tiefling.
00:31:36
Speaker
All right. um But yeah, once as you pick up that, you'll see me pick up a ah but's say i just pick up a random box. um that And I say, embalming tools for sale. And I just like continue walking around. um Before you walk off, ah
00:32:08
Speaker
um a a man walks up this guy is ah He is dressed in a chain mail he's got He's got a um ah Spear slung across his back and a shield um and He's got pointy ears like an elf, and he walks up to you, and Slurm, you actually recognize the man um who you haven't seen in years, but ah you recognize Dennis walking up. Dennis! My old crewman! What's going on? Here, do me a favor. Hold this for a second.
00:32:54
Speaker
You just immediately had something to hold. He's confused, ah but takes the item in hand and um and and... And the moment I hear that, I'm like turning around. Hold on, I gotta double check something. Was this a bad thing? Did I just do a bad thing? maybe our our crew member our fellow party member just died thanks so he he takes the out of my hand blinks a couple of times and it's like well that was weird and then you know he's like uh thank thanks larp hey uh i heard you were in town and i'm just looking i'm like what the fuck actually He pockets the razor. Actually, i do I do have one more follow up question before we go too far. As the effects of the spear, would that technically technically be classified as a curse? A curse? I guess. Theoretically, sure, yeah. So if what's going on with that item is what's going on with that item, would it even affect them?
00:34:05
Speaker
ah You don't know what's going on with that item, so. Yeah, good point. Never mind, sorry. And yeah, he's like, oh, i was I was actually looking for you, and wait. And he looks he like looks at um debt Danger Noodle ah and like pulls out a piece of paper and like studies it for a second, looks back at you, and he's like, actually, umm I'm looking for you too. Looking for me? Well, you found me. ah um
00:34:38
Speaker
and Yeah, ah so i I am working for, let me check his name, ah Lord Neverember. And you guys haven't been in town for however long you've been. ah Lord Neverember is one of the like, well, he's he's the leader of the town, basically. um and he I guess would be considered well he's a lord but yeah he's the guy in charge in Neverwinter or at least one of the people in charge um and he's like I'm actually working for a Lord Neverimber and he ah asked me to
00:35:17
Speaker
um seek out of a few adventurers to help with the problem. And well, Slurm, I heard you were in town, so I put your name forward. ah Plus, you know, it would be kind of cool to see you again. um And then Hashu Slitherinyo. um Apparently, you've done some stuff in the past that came to the attention of Never and Burnt. What have you heard? Half of it is not true.
00:35:49
Speaker
Well, I I haven't heard anything. Which half are you? Are you hard of hearing? No, I haven't heard of you. Lord, everham which half is not true? Oh, that that ah that that razor you have, do you mind if I see that? Yeah, this person just sold me that razor. ah I thought it would look ah it would make a pretty good, pretty good cliche for you, buddy. He pulls out the razor and it's like, uh, what? Oh, here. And tosses it to you. And I. Like, um I'm going to try to do a Dex catch with it with my prosthetic arm. OK.
00:36:29
Speaker
um
00:36:32
Speaker
So I guess that's acrobatics. No, it'd be just just roll. Dex. Yes. Seven. You try. You don't quite get it. All right. But it falls to the ground and I pick it up with my with my hand. OK, yeah, what you expect to happen happens. Yeah, and then I go. Spring razor for sale. Well, I just bought that. but He gave it to me. What are you talking about? ah so ah Aren't you guys interested in the job? Oh yes, sorry, yes, ah of course. Oh, one moment. I've got a customer in the shop right now. I've got to lock up. OK, um.
00:37:17
Speaker
Oh, the Tin Man in there. Wait, Tin Man? this Yeah, he's walking a Tron out there. He scares the children quite frequently if you... if you His name wouldn't happen to be... I've been his mechanic for a little bit. His name wouldn't happen to be Amber, would it? I always thought that was a weird name for a robot, but you know, I don't bring it up to him. I think he might like... Or Frank would have been Amber. Would it be ammbber or ambernock Amber Amber Knuck. Okay. um it's em It's okay, Amber. No, it's not it's not two words this one when you go inside um You find ah some broken beakers ah um ah and And just stuff like knocked around There's like shop, yeah, but the cat is seemingly Vanished oh actually um
00:38:16
Speaker
As you're going in, there is a of a flock of peacocks running out of your um your back corral um yeah now cat as the cat chases after them. I actually feel really bad about this. Slurm, do you want some help? As Slurm says, absolutely. As he activates as as he activates the ah black iron gauntlet, you notice armor pieces to start just start pulling right out of the gauntlet until he's fully coated in armor and then he flies. Yes.
00:38:57
Speaker
OK. Genius billionaire goblin philanthropist. Hmm. So he fly. So he flies and he is using his lightning launcher gauntlets to try to corral and control all the peacocks back in. He's not aiming at them, but he's at looking to try to you know turn them. All right. Give me an animal handling with advantage. Do that. It's a plus zero, but that doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck. Oh, wait. That was what that was normal. You said with advantage. Yeah.
00:39:35
Speaker
and and I mean, he does it either? Oh, wait, that's Amber. Never mind. um Oh, Amber is stealthing. OK. Sixteen. Fucking cat. Sixteenths enough, yeah. ah Yeah, these are your peacocks. They are trained by you, so they you don't have too much trouble rounding them back up. um the ah The cat has ah vanished.
00:40:08
Speaker
um But, ah you know, the warforged is still there. So... Ebernock is just sitting on the the counter where he sat earlier. Ebernock, take your cat! Oh, i I don't know what you're referring to. My cat is right here and taps his chest. What am I chasing? ah It appears to be some peacocks.
00:40:40
Speaker
And this is where you see Ashu going around and picking up the fallen peacock feathers. They are very big. they are very big Dennis walks in um and sees Ambernacht as well and is like, well, this is the weirdest coincidence ever. You're the other person I was looking for. Why do you have all of our names? You were a man. Well, you're experienced adventurers and Lord never. Yes, but this isn't a huge city. Yeah, and i but I've been to hell. Everybody knows me. Oh, you've been to hell? Same. When'd you go to hell?
00:41:23
Speaker
A few years ago, Dennis, that was like, what? When was that? How long ago was it? Maybe a decade ago, maybe. Wow. god i It's been that long? Were you there at the fall of the city? We were part of the city. Oh my, I was there too. Holy shit. Wait, what? Yeah, and I pull out this vial of water and inside of it you can see the ah water from the sticks inside of it. Oh, put that away. Don't let people that around here see that.
00:42:02
Speaker
I tried to sell it once didn't go very well. So yeah, I see what you're saying. Well, I'll be right back. OK. Well, Dennis, I put one of these feathers in the back of my hair.
00:42:20
Speaker
We were saying Slurm or do you? Oh, yeah, we should wait for Frank. OK, no, I sorry. I'm wearing a straw conical hat conical, and so it's just like it's in the back strap of the cone hat. Oh, and also I do appear to be 17 years old. So that's weird that I said I was there 10 years ago. Well. I mean oh could happen I should possibly say that you guys may have worked or at least you and amber knock may have worked for never ember before cuz Okay supposed to have already known you slurm that's up to you. I mean he knows of you um And Dennis is vouching for you. So right so dinner
00:43:05
Speaker
So my official role in this town is like, i'm I'm like a professional adventurer, or am I just like, happened? Like, what's up? That's, that's up to you. What would you want your backstory to have been? Yeah. Yeah. Then my bitten backstory is back then. But yeah, you guys have at least had some, um,
00:43:32
Speaker
Interactions with never Ember and I'll make sure to say that again when Frank gets back But oh but Slytherin you know ah if you look closely you will also notice on the chest where slur of his armor as it's Going as it's going back into the glove. You'll notice on the chest. There's a heart car ah engraved on it with an s plus ah V S plus V. Yeah. Veronica. Volumptuous.
00:44:11
Speaker
the finish Vendetta. Vendetta. Is that your wife? Yeah. Where's that dad? I don't see her. I just hear her speaking in the background sometimes. She's back at home. In government. No, no, no. Ron, I i haven't been here very long. i I haven't said I haven't set up like I haven't actually moved her down here, ah moved her down here yet. Sure. She's back. She's back at where. and So it's not Baldur's Gate. It was.
00:44:56
Speaker
Elteril.
00:44:59
Speaker
ah Baldur's Gate is the town you guys started in. El Terrell is the town that sunk into Avernus and then was later saved, yeah. Vendetta, if I recall, was the um like kind of piratey person, wasn't she? No, that was ah that was haed that was ah Hayden's girl ah sorry ah youthall's girlfriend. ah Vendetta, we saved her from the cultists.
00:45:30
Speaker
Oh, oh, OK. I forgot you all had a girlfriend, bro. Was she a half elf or an elf? I think she was half. Half giant half elf. Sorry, I really had to use Russian. You're good. So you're supposed to repeat once as he got back? oh yeah so um uh you guys or at least um amronach and danger noodle have in the past worked or at least worked for lord nevermeber um
00:46:09
Speaker
It doesn't necessarily have to have been a real close association, but you do have some um like just interaction with them. ah So it's not completely out of the out of nowhere that he would have um requested you guys because you have worked with him in the past.
00:46:31
Speaker
Awesome.
00:46:36
Speaker
All right, I am trying to figure out how to do something real quick in case I need it. But is this how I do it? Oh, that's how I do it. OK. And then this add.
00:46:54
Speaker
And there she is. OK. I now have Vendetta's character sheet in case I need her. I figured out that. um I mean, I knew it was possible, but I'd never done it before. But I figured out how to import character sheets um from other games.
00:47:14
Speaker
um So yeah, we have any old character sheets I need, I can grab. um Nice. Just add her to journals. Not that there's much information on her. She hasn't been leveled up. um OK, yeah, so Dennis, um he's going to lead you guys to Neverember's mansion, I guess. um Man, I've got to reopen things because I um had to ah refresh.
00:47:52
Speaker
I believe it's here. Yes. OK. I see things. You can't see it anymore.
00:48:04
Speaker
Stop watching like a hawk. We've already gotten our so first spam, by the way. Yay. Yeah. I tried to ban him, but I guess because he's no longer in chat, I couldn't. um Probably ban it because it's probably just a robot. um Yeah, so he leads you ah to... um ah Lord Neverember's audience chamber. Now, when you you guys arrive, um Lord Neverember is busy discussing politics with his various advisors. But upon watching you, the four of you walk in, um he breaks off his discussion, gives you guys a smile of recognition and says, greetings, my heroic friends. I'm so glad you came. I dare say- a just you us a description of the room where we walked into?
00:48:58
Speaker
If you are in a large audience chamber, there are chairs. It's sort of like where he holds court, I guess you could say. um And he is ah that there are various chairs so that the people observing can sit. And then there's like the central aisle and there's a ah little dais that someone can walk up to and speak from. um And then he's kind of like at just one of those. Not quite a judge's bench, you know, but, um, one of those long benches where, where, um, you know, I think game of thrones, I guess where they always, except he doesn't have a, he's not sitting in a throne or anything. He's just sitting in the middle chair, which is slightly nicer than the other chairs.
00:49:46
Speaker
I find the second nicest looking chair and drape myself across it. Well, you would have to walk around the bench. I do that. And ah Dennis kind of grabs your arm and he's like, ah please, please ah don't disrespect the Lord of Neverwinter. And that's when I wave with my prosthetic arm and I'm like, Hello, Lord, how are you? It's been a while. Well, sadly, I'm not as good as I could be. um terrible eventt Terrible events are afoot. I'm so sorry to hear that. Do do you want an embalming tool set? Would that help? no No, that wouldn't help. What about our straight laser? Actually, ah let's hope that the embalming set doesn't isn't needed for this. Are we killing someone? That's my favorite.
00:50:37
Speaker
Well, you are going to be searching for someone ah for someone. In fact, um specifically for prominent citizens have been kidnapped in the past several days. I'm hoping for your help in rescuing them. I didn't count on me, my lord. I love looking for people. Do you say it like that? Yes.
00:51:07
Speaker
Now I know that somewhere in this darn description, I'm supposed to offer you a reward, but I don't see it. He like how he says that too. I'm his script. He only talks through script. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to offer y'all a reward, but goodness, I just don't see it in here. I guess we're going to have to go on the assumption of a reward. I could have sworn there is a reward in this little thing, but I don't know those rules starts like reading through that line by line. Yeah. Ask them to come see me. Introduce the reward and never actually have reward in general. Oh, shit. Sorry. Yeah. yeah Kill them. went Kill them when they get back whenever they succeed. Oh, sorry. Oh, we're supposed to hear that one.
00:51:51
Speaker
i mean let me glass the buter was quick let's see I like how the Lord of Neverwinter went from like a distinguished figure to a fucking like fifth rate. You know. i Words are hard. I guess you see me drop my backpack. I'm like looking through my stuff and I go, oh, learn. Look at this. And I i hold out an immovable rod. Oh, yeah, I've made a couple of those. How many pull ups do you think you can do?
00:52:23
Speaker
Ah. Well, let's test it out. And I pushed my I pulled it up right above your arm length and I pushed the button.
00:52:35
Speaker
Slurm, I believe in you. I found it. Amber Nock walks over and puts its like arm over top of it sitting on my invisible rod. I don't want oil all over this rod, though. Get off my rod, sir.
00:52:54
Speaker
um So it never hurts. So when Mr. Serb's going to walk up, he's going to be like, what where were they last seen? Nevermember has been ah rifling through through some papers. And ah yes, yes, here it is. ah Before that, um yes, as reward reading pal prompt that's for reward four helping find um these missing people, I can offer each of you a nice house here in Neverwinter. A house. Oh, I like the sound of that. Like like the house in in Winterhold? Never when there's like. and No, in Winterhold, the one where you get like little holes in the in the ground in the in the room. I think that's a Skyrim reference. Yes, yes, it is. Well, OK. I don't know what that means, but um.
00:53:44
Speaker
ah There's there's never winter here, by the way. Actually, I don't know if that's true, but um it's called never winter. i I'm pretty sure winter like doesn't actually hit this place, but it's like the one. It's an ironic name. Frozen Tundra. It's a very fine house um ah for each of you. I assume never winter was just a constantly cold, always winter like Asperger's, you know, it's perfect. That's definitely not the right word. I've had two beers, I apologize. Okay, you're okay. No, okay. So and then when you're still leaning on my ride, I deactivate it and take it away. Oh, how cruel. Well, um the it doesn't does not describe exactly what a fine house means, but he's got the deed to to ah to four different houses.
00:54:36
Speaker
um ah The way you remember the way I used to work is is half up front. So how do I get half a house? Ah, well, um unfortunately, I don't have any way to give you that. But you've worked with me before. You know, I'm good for it. I am the Lord. oh I know you're good for many things, my lord. Oh, my.
00:55:02
Speaker
he says He puts his his prosthetic hand over the the bar onto his lap. Just rubs the the little T-Rex jaw up and down his leg. That does not happen, but I am not my prosthetic arm. Is it like a cane, or usually like a cane, but also... Yes, I am currently using it as a cane. Okay. Like, god that's what I'm imagining the entire time, is that it's like a cane, but also you can, you know, magically manipulate the joints and things. Yeah, I can. I can do that. It's just like a claw hand thing. But a I do also like whenever someone's bleeding in my bubble, I like tap them with the prosthetic. I'm like, what what's your manners? I don't think I had ever gave myself gave a like accurate description of myself. um Did I do that earlier? Are you a tin man or are you like, what type of war forest are you?
00:55:57
Speaker
So your average warforged is typically like ah ah a stone or ah steel or... Golem-esque. Yeah, golem-esque. This is more refined. It definitely looks more like it was... Key was, we were... it Anyways. um Looks more like a... Did y'all ever play... um What was it, the second? No, the third ah Bioshock? no Sorry. ah Where they were in the sky and everything was like robotics. No. OK. Did you ever play or what was that one with the two silver like sexy female robot people? What? The the the game that had the two sexy female robot people. Oh, yeah. The the new Moscow. the Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um How everybody were like,
00:56:54
Speaker
or the the people, the robotic people were like kind of refined looking. It splits on your face and you're like, Oh, wait, robot people. Are you talking about the show on HBO? No, it was a video game. Oh, okay. Nevermind. I was, I was working on your houses, so I wasn't listening. and So that's what you look like. You look like one of her, one of them. Uh, but with like more clear sections and you can see gears and pullies and tubes. Yeah. There's like spots that are like glass or spots that are like metal. I look like I'm a armored version of one of those. Um, I do have a face. The face is non expressive. Um, but it does kind of move into stuff.
00:57:44
Speaker
so it's kind of So it's kind of like the automatons from Baldur's Gate 3? You know, when you go to the Underdark and you go to the that one wizard's ah wizards ah tower? I don't think I've gotten to that section yet. ah fine No, it's more less magic-y looking, more robot-y looking. Gotcha.
00:58:14
Speaker
ah Oh, you know what? There's this new game and not a new game. Oh, God. It was it's Dark Souls esque. But the female lead game character is a robot person. Hold on, I just saw it on Steam the other day. I don't know if it'll pull pull up for me again.
00:58:38
Speaker
ah Shit.
00:58:45
Speaker
Dark Souls-esque game with robots.
00:58:55
Speaker
Steel rising. Ah. Steel rising images. I'm just waiting on Hayden to get back. Um, less creepy, but yeah, kind of like that. I'm going to go pick up a lighter.
00:59:26
Speaker
Okay. Hayden's back, but now Bill's gone. Oh my God. So did you post a picture or? No, no. But I'll, I'll describe them to you.
00:59:40
Speaker
um Yeah, so still rising-esque, less creepy, more robot-y looking. um The color, like, schema is black, gold, and gray. You said there's, like, secret parts which way, like, yeah I can just see your cogs. Yeah, so in in the sections... Oh, my. and In the sections of like what you assume is wet, like the shrooms are wet, the drain broke. If you if you have like a a suit of armor, you've got sections of the suit of armor that's a lot thinner, a lot more brittle, um a lot more easily penetrated. So like the sides, the armpit.
01:00:22
Speaker
ah and All the joints are more see through. Yeah, joints are see through in those areas that twist and turn more are a see through. It's not necessarily glass. It's more of a. a semi-glass type material. It's see-through, but it's also rigid. So I don't know how to best describe it. I'm I'm two years. Are you wearing clothes? No, um I don't have any anatomical fallacies of any kind. All right. Oh, no, actually, I am wearing something. I'm wearing a red cloak.
01:01:00
Speaker
got It's a soiled red waist coat, not a cloak. Soiled? It's just dirty. Okay. not I don't defecate, so I can't soil it. I mean, it probably has like some cat hair on it and stuff. Probably has cat shit on it. It probably absolutely has a cat has a hairball. You didn't even notice that you just sat on it. Just streaked across.
01:01:34
Speaker
So I've got a lot of cats that actually have experienced that one. um But yeah, so I've got that. I've also got a small leather belt with a belt pouch. um
01:01:49
Speaker
And that's about it. All right. um So I just figured out I could um how to open these things without them popping up on the stream. You have to zoom in further. No, I just needed to have a second tab. um yeah The game opened in two different tabs. um Gotcha. OK. So Slurm had asked him um where they were last seen. And it's like, well, ah we know that they were all kidnapped at night. We don't know where necessary exactly where all of them. One of them was kidnapped from their home.
Kidnappings in Neverwinter
01:02:31
Speaker
um but the ah For what we do know, the four victims, they don't know each other. um There's Elden Keyword. He's a highly knowledgeable scholar who specializes in the outer plane. Good question. Yes. So is his last name Keyword or did you just forget to write a last name? Keyword. Got it. This is a pre-made adventure. Brian, all these names are meant to be. There's also Indrina Lam-Sin Settle. um She's ah an actress who ah moves in Neverwinter's highest social circles. There's Darcelle Malinosh, a sorcerer who also studies the Outer Plains. um And then there's Humberto Knoblin. He's a gnome historian, and he's written various books on deities.
01:03:28
Speaker
um They, as far as we know, none of them ah have any direct connection to each other. Possibly they met each have met each other at social events, but none of them really actually deal with each other as far as we can tell. ah I've already funded divinations from the House of Knowledge. um You guys ah have possibly heard of the House of Knowledge. Basically, it's just kind of a um a temple.
01:03:58
Speaker
um that to the god of knowledge. Yes. um ah Hoping to find them ah the victims, the priests, they follow the mystical trail, um but it ends at a very specific place. ah The trail disappears for all of them at the hallux mausoleum in the never death graveyard. um that's really ominous i told you why is everyone and everything in this city a never of some kind welcome to neverwinter i have to go and never ember never death crematorium neverwinter where it's always winter never deaths crematorium where they're always where you never die well my grand uh my ancestors named it that but i couldn't tell you why they chose that exact naming scheme um
01:04:49
Speaker
You know, the baker down there is called never bread.
01:04:54
Speaker
but
01:04:58
Speaker
There's never more. so There's never more street that's that this goes on around the entire city to a resale resale shop where they just sell or where they just sell garbage. Never stuff. Never, never used. Yeah, never owned. but
01:05:21
Speaker
Never a full gold store. Never sharp the best sharpener in all of Neverwinter. The Never Games. It's impossible to beat us at it. They they end before they begin. yeah
01:05:43
Speaker
okay i think we're done perfect yeah yes i like how the the king of this city is just listening to his bullshit in his throne room he's just like shaking his head well we're just like going back and forth to each other it's great i would tell it from here behind all of us is like holding up a cue card like Hello. Read the queue. He glances over at Dennis and he's like, are you are you sure about um about these? And he's like, well, Slurm helped to save LTRL. Oh, Lord, you're the one that invited us here. Are you sure? I'm beginning to doubt my surety, perhaps. Oh, don't worry, Dennis. You know what you're signing up for. Don't you remember? You used to be in my shipment.
01:06:36
Speaker
Shipman, I'm not worried about you. I used to be the captain. I used to be the captain of a ship. Dennis was one of my most trusted seamen. Oh, yes. On the never try.
01:06:56
Speaker
now I those stories and and while this happening, is trying to like slowly reach for the house bead with my prosthetic arm.
01:07:07
Speaker
This is the wrong group of people to try to play a serious game. I'm sorry. ah So I was going to say, well, I guess now we know where we got to go.
Origin of Neverwinter's Name
01:07:20
Speaker
Yes, the the never dead graveyard. Yeah, never death. oh yeah It's the never buried monoli and monolith. and mono monolith my my um um may never leaveam There you go. Those words. So a a old man hobbles up to Lord Neverember and says, sir, if they are serious about learning the origins of this name of the city, I can explain that quickly.
01:07:49
Speaker
uh never cripple thank you for coming i'm sorry that's my name as you well know i am bartholomew uh never gray never cripple yes oh god when the when the dm decides to be decides to join us yeah
01:08:15
Speaker
This is how the world should be. The city was, of course, named after the Neverwinter River, which flows through the city. Now, why is the river named that? Well, as we all know, it's heated by the magical hot springs beneath Mount Holtenau. It's the river's warm year round. So really, it's the river that is Neverwinter. The city just just took the name from the river. I'm glad we cleared that up. Thank you, Never Cripple. yeah It's Never Grey. Thank you very much, and he hobbles. Thank you, and he hobbles. I like Never Grey. Hey, Never Grey, if I get my ship up, if my wife brings my ship up here, do you want to join my crew? No, sir, I have quite the nice job here. I am the town historian. Well, you're lost. All right, let's go to the mausoleum. Bye, Never Hobbled. Yeah, so you guys... It's Never Grey.
01:09:13
Speaker
And he provides... Well, no, you guys just walk... Y'all head out. I imagine you know where it is. yeah Okay, so before you continue on with the story, what happens when we leave the throne room? Like, I'm just imagining the king just, like, shaking his head, looking back and forth between his people that were already in there. And he's like, what just happened? It's like, checking his cue cards. I don't see that anywhere in the script.
01:09:44
Speaker
sin as soon as the door... it's too bad the heroes of the hall were unavailable they're say as soon as the door shuts, I turn to the guys, y'all did great whenever you're negotiating with a bigwig you never let them think they're in control um yeah, I see what you meant
01:10:11
Speaker
i Of course I need to get you guys have you thanks Have you never done that when you were just negotiating with ah one of your? Whatever word for people that buy things Choppers customers customers sure yeah that word Sorry, I am I'm three beers it now yeah Weren't you two beers like two minutes ago? I just drank the third one um Well, honestly, once you get further and further, it gets easier now. That's true. That's the last one, though. I'm no more for tonight. Anywho, but um that's always the best form of negotiation, is keep them on the back foot. Don't let them understand what's happening or what's going on, and you'll get away with the steal. And I took away something and that I took from Slurm Shop.
01:11:04
Speaker
Yeah, I notice. Oh, slightly roll of stealth. Would it have been? You know, stealth earlier, not a slot of paint. Is that what that role was for? Sure.
01:11:19
Speaker
So real quick, um while y'all were having y'all's thing going on outside and you left Ambernock and the cat. i have a role We haven't rolled for this. we don't ah We don't need to know yet. OK, yeah, sure. Well, I mean, the the GM already explained part of what happened. So um I was like, well, since they left me in there, knock causes chaos in Slurm Shop. ah Knock knocks over glass beakers and sits on the glass display cases, leaving cat butt prints on the glass. Knocked shoes on random items and knickknacks. I see. No, the cat's name is Knock. The cat's name is Knock. The armor's name is Amber. Amber Knock. I gotcha. now goes Knock goes back out to the peacock corral and opens the gate to the corrals. Knock chases the peacocks around the corral and back into the shop. And I was like, yo, left me. So I'm just doing shit.
01:12:18
Speaker
And then at last, I'm like, if no one notices, I'll slip back into the chest cavity. The the cat will slip back into the chest cavity. yeah OK, then in that case, Slurm's going to turn to y'all. I got to go by the shop to get some stuff before I do this. OK, y'all go with them. ah Sure. All right. but What about you, Danger Noodle?
01:12:51
Speaker
I'm sorry, i say that one more time. My girlfriend called for five seconds. I was asking, well, I've got a slurry mast to head back to his shop real fast, ah you know. ah Lock up and grab a couple of things before we go. I'm not sure how easy that would have been to swipe, but I yes, I totally did that. Yeah, yeah, I mean. I i just keep walking to the. Point of interest. okay
01:13:21
Speaker
OK, so you're going straight to the graveyard. Yes, I will follow Slurm because he is my buddy. All right, so you get to the graveyard first. um Does anyone want to buy my embalming tools? Actually. ah Ron, I would ah when we left to come here, I would have locked I would have locked everything up around then, right? Probably, yeah. OK, cool. We're just going to. Yeah, we're just going to assume I did that before I left. All right. then Yeah, we're going straight to the place then. OK. OK, you're just going to lock up. Yeah, yeah, because I was like, fuck. Real quick, though, you just had that thought in real life. So obviously, Slurm had that exact same thought. Did I or did I not lock that door?
01:14:13
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I locked the shop door. Roll history. God damn it. God fucking damn it, Frank. yeah Here we go. That was a DCI set, so if it meets, it beats. Hold on. I want to roll history, too.
01:14:37
Speaker
i am I am so certain you didn't lock that door, Slurm. Did I lock the door? ah No, you did not at all.
01:14:48
Speaker
Asking Ron. Do you remember that you locked the door therefore you did? okay I rolled a 26 persuasion. You want to persuade me that I don't remember something? No, that you didn't lock the door. You're persuading him that he didn't. I'm i'm gaslighting you into thinking that you didn't lock the door.
01:15:11
Speaker
Does that work?
01:15:15
Speaker
I mean, that's a pretty he probably instills some doubt. What do I roll to counter that? To give me another wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving. Oh, no, I'm that I'm not good at these.
01:15:36
Speaker
OK. Summit. Nine.
01:15:44
Speaker
You remember locking the door, but you are doubting it like are you remembering today or like a couple days ago? The last time you left check Okay, I still gotta go to gotta go double check Okay, so Slurm's gonna do that amber. Are you going with him? Amber knock does follow Okay, i'm right i'm danger noodle, you're still going straight to the graveyard. Yeah. Alright, so you're gonna get there first, you won't be too far ahead. um But you arrive at the graveyard. um And you were told it's the hallux mausoleum. So if you want to give me a investigation to kind of find that. Sure.
01:16:30
Speaker
Here we go. That's pretty good. um Weird that it doesn't add the plus one. Yeah, no, that's weird. Yeah. but kind of Yeah, it's 22 plus one. Yeah, it's it's weird that it doesn't add it. But you know, whatever. um I see 1D 20 plus four proficiency plus four intelligence equals 14 plus four plus four. Yes. Plus one. yes Do you have an item or a skill or something that's giving you a plus one investigation? Yes, I have two items assisting me. Would it be a plus two then?
01:17:10
Speaker
No. OK. Yeah, so OK, so you find it no problem. um You notice some some zombies wandering around in the the graveyard. This is it. I thought it was going to be. Vampires. I always wanted a vampire boyfriend. This is a thing that happens pretty frequently. um There's a general bounty on zombie heads for 10 gold. Zombies pop up in the graveyard on a regular basis. They're honestly... like they
01:17:44
Speaker
It's strange because the zombies pop up, no one ever sees them pop up, um and no graves are disturbed. So they they're not sure where the zombies come from. They're also not, usually they're not zombies anyone recognizes. like It's not like, my mom died last week and now her zombie's walking around. It's like, these are stranger zombies. it's It's a little weird, but this has been a thing since the graveyard was established long, long ago. If you focus long enough on a zombie you see a title pop up above it says that says stranger zombie HP 26 out of No, no, I got the reference. Okay, we got the reference but nobody chose to acknowledge you Yeah,
01:18:33
Speaker
yeah so the zombies they're worth ten gold apiece if you want to go kill some um That's up to you ah there's there's There's a dozen of them wandering around right now. At level 10, you probably don't really even need to roll. In fact, the book doesn't even give me stats. It just says the players can probably handle the zombies no problem. But that is considering that there are four of us, five of us. What are all these rolls?
01:19:09
Speaker
Frank, why are you rolling a bunch?
01:19:14
Speaker
We can't hear you if you're speaking. ah what i left I was like, nobody's acknowledging my words. I muted it. I'm sorry. You keep doing that and you keep gaslighting yourself into believing that we're not listening to you. You're actually gaslighting yourself because we actually don't want to listen to you. I'll just put myself back on mute. Thank you. Hey, are you going to do anything about these zombies or just ignore them? I guess until they show up, I'm just going to be elder blasting these zombies. All right. Give me a D12. But I will get up on a high like up on like a surface where they will have to like crawl up to me. Yeah. Give me your you give you what all on you can crawl on top of the mausoleum like entryway. um Give me a D12. At level 10, you've got two bolts of eldritch blast per cast, right? Bolts. Oh, damn. D12.
01:20:11
Speaker
I rolled an eight. By the time Slurm and Amber arrive, you've killed eight of the 12 zombies. yeah home And I see Slurm like, Slurm, there's zombies. um you Can you do something about it? I mean, I don't like the zombies. They tend to go down in a single strike of your Eldritch Blast, but yeah.
01:20:42
Speaker
All right, I think I got just the thing for this I gotta pull out old reliable And all of a sudden he fully armors up and from this little side ah side holster He pulls out a fucking shotgun So For yeah everybody knows what a shotgun looks like this one in particular tends to look more like that one from if anyone's ever seen this show squidbillies Looks like a shotgun from there. Oh my god And on that shotgun, you'll notice that there have been that there have been runes carved into the barrel of the gun. As he cocks the gun and fires, can I read the runes?
01:21:27
Speaker
ah Do you want to be an arcanic? I. Do not I speak abyssal, celestial, common, draconic?
01:21:39
Speaker
you'd recognize You recognize that they're symbols, then. he fires straight at the zombie's head. Yeah, you you don't need to roll. You guys can kill zombies, no issue. They are CR 1 fourth. Double tap, motherfucker.
01:21:58
Speaker
right um ah So I guess... Are you going to get in on any of these kills? ah ah Knock hole. Sure, Amber. Yeah, you guys kill some zombies. You quickly wipe out the 12 zombies. um I mean, he was almost done with it by the time you guys showed up. um But yeah, you have. Thank you. Listen, I said you guys that and by the time he i guys, hey you guys.
01:22:34
Speaker
by the time he is in Slurm, showed up, showed up. So I'm trying to guess like you two. And and am is probably Amber, probably gender neutral. ah Okay, so yeah. m Amber Knox, can you can you open up your chest cavity? ah Why? Just do it. Please. No. Why do you have to be so difficult? and so Tell me what you want to put inside me first, and then I'll decide. No, when you put it like that, I'm not putting anything inside you anymore. And so when you when you say that, you see me cut a zombie head off, take out a lantern, poof inside my lantern, and then come right back out again.
01:23:28
Speaker
and without the zombie head. Would Prestidigitation work on a zombie head to make it not smell? I don't think so. Well. Because you can't really clean rotting flesh.
01:23:48
Speaker
Clean or soil an object no larger than one cubic foot? like if I think a head could fit in one cubic foot. Yeah, I mean, but what would clean? What would cleaning rod ah rot do? Would it just become a skull? Well, maybe. I was thinking just like, you know, remove the largest portions of decay. It's still a zombie, just not a rotting zombie.
01:24:22
Speaker
Sorry, were you asking me something? No, OK. But would would the zombie head stop smelling completely after President Station was casted on it? That was the overall issue. I don't think so. I mean, it would stop smelling briefly, sure. But the obvious thing is on a sensory effect, such as shower sparks, puff of wind, faint musical notes, or an odd odor. It's just odd odor. Touch the spot. You instantaneously clean or small object and larger than one cubic foot. You chill, warm or flavor up to one cubic foot of nonliving material for one hour. You make a color, a small mark or symbol appear on the object or surface for one hour.
01:25:14
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think so. I just want to make it smell like Lysol. That's what I do. It lasts for one hour. All right, then. When you see me pop out with the last head, I come out with one of the zombie heads that I decapitated with a little hat on top.
Zombie Head Dilemma
01:25:35
Speaker
Ron, do you want to take it away? The head begins to thrash in your hand.
01:25:45
Speaker
um before eventually ah i it it it settles and then kind of its eyes flick around, it's laying on its side in your hand. And it's like, what what? I don't remember the voice. ah
01:26:05
Speaker
What kind of body? He sounded like, ah damn, how did I forget his name? the boxing champion of Boston. No coach. It's yes. Oh, is it coach is coach here? Yeah, in coach's voice, isn't it, kid? You got to eat light in a crap thunder. You're talking about that guy. Yeah. Yes. What? What kind of what? What the hell kind of body is this? It was the best I could do for now. I was thinking about putting you on the cat, but zombie head is the best for now. I'm sorry.
01:26:41
Speaker
I'm telling you, you need to let me go, dammit! No, you- you- great company. You love the zombie head. I'd be- I'd be better company if you stopped ripping me off my heads and putting me on different things. Do you get attached to your bodies? It doesn't feel good.
01:27:03
Speaker
Sorry. What- what do you want to inhabit? I'll i'll let you pick this time.
Preparation for the Mausoleum
01:27:08
Speaker
yeah Put me back in the lamp.
01:27:12
Speaker
OK, I like brutally rip it off. I'm like, I hope that hit and then throw you back in the in the. Yeah, the lamp. And and that happens. um And Hayden, Ron, I love you both so goddamn much. We really thought about you, Bill.
01:27:36
Speaker
ah Yeah, so that happens. What do you guys do next?
01:27:43
Speaker
I guess we're heading over to the mausoleum now. Before be bearies go into the mausoleum, I do take out a lantern. Lantern overvealing.
01:27:59
Speaker
So while lit, this hooded lantern burns for six hours in one pint of oil, shedding bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light in for an additional 30 feet. Invisible creatures and objects are visible as long as they're in the lantern's bright light. You can also use an action to lower the hood, reducing the light to dim light in a five-foot radius.
01:28:21
Speaker
Cool. Hold on. Let me yeah double-check something. OK. I am about to take your map over. And then I take out um this thing. And I go, Sloan, here you go. And I pulled out a wand. I don't know if you would know what this is off the bat.
Goblin's Hygiene and Crafting
01:28:48
Speaker
ah's not on my list It's not on my list of replicate of like replicatable items, I don't think. So I probably wouldn't recognize it. I consider those ones to be the ones I can probably spot on site because I've made enough of them.
01:29:02
Speaker
If a secret door trap is within 30 feet of you, one pulses and points at one nearest to you at the wandering games, 1d3. Oh, okay. All right. Uh, so you're giving, so you're, uh, handing that to me. I do want that back, but I do hand it to you through the prosthetic arm. Okay. And please wash your hands. My little goblin friend.
01:29:32
Speaker
bathe every evening okay well evening's catching up bathe a little bit faster okay um one moment slurm cast prestidigitation on himself oh thank god you could have done that for ages ago yeah but that was such a waste of time It took six seconds exactly. Do you know the kind of things I can invent in six seconds? A clean hand, obviously. Instead of grinding up my ten gold. For an item you immediately stole. I did not steal it. I got it back.
01:30:22
Speaker
Hey everyone, this is the end of Part 1. I guess the session was too long so and it wasn't uploading so I had to break it in half. Part 2 should be available right now.