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Nonsensical Nonsense: Rock L33 is back in driving the crazy train image

Nonsensical Nonsense: Rock L33 is back in driving the crazy train

Nonsensical Network
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24 Plays9 days ago

Welcome back to Nonsensical Nonsense, where logic takes a backseat and chaos grabs the wheel. Expect laughs, unexpected twists, and the kind of energy you won’t find anywhere else. Whether you’re here for the humor, the real talk, or just to escape into something completely unfiltered… you’re in the right place.

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Transcript
00:01:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:53
Speaker
Thank you.

Introduction and Host Updates

00:04:14
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello on a Saturday night. How is everybody doing? Good to see you guys
00:04:26
Speaker
Wally out in the comments. I'll see you here in a few Wally What's going on everybody? Happy Saturday night. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense Saturday night shenanigans. You know how it goes I'm your host again you believe it?
00:04:44
Speaker
I am your host again um Glick has decided to take himself another hibernation Very early into this year So your host is me Again but don't worry We don't know what kind of shenanigans we'll be up to tonight y'all So um'm I'm actually very happy to be here Hanging out with you guys
00:05:11
Speaker
I'll throw that link up here in ah and a little bit, but let's hear it. How the hell is everybody doing?
00:05:29
Speaker
Sup, sup, sup.
00:05:42
Speaker
Alright
00:05:45
Speaker
Well I'm waiting for everybody to jump on And get comfortable and get relaxed into your seats For another night of shenanigans Um Let me tell you guys a little bit about my week I had a very eventful week This week I got some some more music projects this week Um
00:06:08
Speaker
Yeah, goddammit, Wally.
00:06:15
Speaker
It's alright. Everyone hears that Glick's not like going to be here, and then they're like, i'm not showing up. It's all good, man. I was voted in by popular demand, damn it.
00:06:28
Speaker
So I'm pretty, I'm goddamn sure. Goddamn sure that. i
00:06:35
Speaker
oh man. third It's a, it's a, it's all good. Wally, don't you worry about it. I'll sit here and talk to my, I remember. Back when Glick used to do these streams on ah TikTok And I'll see, I was the only one watching them sometimes And that did not stop him It's not going to stop me either
00:07:06
Speaker
Well, what was going to say? Oh yeah, so this week um I had a cool music project come through, so that was fun. I also have begun working on next album, the very next album about to hit you guys. It's going to be a lot of fun.
00:07:29
Speaker
Something definitely up your ah your alley, Wally.
00:07:36
Speaker
That's in honor of Glick. There it is. There's a rest. a Anyway, this music project is going to be super, super cool. and It looks like the last one was received pretty well, too. so i'm I'm fucking stoked. I'm excited about it.
00:07:54
Speaker
um, just starting working on that in the background as well as my show. So I will have my show, um my show date here soon. I thought it was going be the 15th, um, of this month.
00:08:07
Speaker
Um, but I'll have, I'll have a date to you guys soon. So that's going to be fun. It's not going to take 10 years. I can already hear Glick listening back to this recording saying that it is going to be 10 years. It won't.
00:08:18
Speaker
Um, I want to make sure I have plenty of content before I hit that street on that on that very first one, get some buildup. And for those of you tuning in, I'll need um you guys to continue submitting your um your requests for stuff for me to react to. I got a pretty strong list, pretty, pretty strong list.
00:08:44
Speaker
um of potential videos to react to. I am having them looked at in the background of things. I got to. Somebody sent a really pretty bad pretty bad video that would get us banned on the YouTube worlds and scenes. So I decided to ah to double down and make sure that those get watched, not by me, but by someone else. But that doesn't mean you guys can't send them in. So please send in your requests.
00:09:12
Speaker
um So that I can have some stuff to check out.

Special Guest: Wally's Stories

00:09:17
Speaker
Oh, look who's in the goddamn backyard. going to give him an introduction. So this man, he's a myth.
00:09:28
Speaker
He's a legend. One of the very few people who make one of the best car podcasts known to man. If you're not subscribed to his podcast, you're out of your world.
00:09:42
Speaker
Welcome to the stage. The one, the only Wally. yeah
00:09:49
Speaker
yeah Hey, Wally. What's up, Bubba? What's up, Wally? How you doing, buddy? Oh, been better, man. What's going on?
00:10:01
Speaker
We just had to put our one dog down yesterday and stuff, so it's been pretty rough. Oh, no. Sick? I've had seizures and stuff and He had one real bad Wednesday And it pretty much paralyzed him From the waist down So we had to deal with that The last three days so But he's not suffering So it's still hurting Still adjusting Still adjusting now R.I.P. Justin Is that your dog's name? was Justin?
00:10:36
Speaker
Tito peter Tito? Yep. Okay. Yeah. RIP Tito in the comments. Here, I'll start it. Yeah, that was... he was named I named him actually after my favorite UFC fighter, Tito Ortiz.
00:10:56
Speaker
That's cool, man. How long did you have Actually, 13 years. Going on 14. We've had him since... ah we moved into the house we live in and everything since he was a puppy. so Jeez, man. It's always sad when when dogs pass away. That's like one of the saddest things.
00:11:16
Speaker
I have... ah my My last dog was a German Shepherd. ah German Shepherd. dirty I say Dirty Mix because he was definitely mixed with something else.
00:11:29
Speaker
um Mine was a... mine was a Heinz 57. He had pit American bowl and boxer in them. So yeah, the ball.
00:11:43
Speaker
Yep. He was a, he was the wife and son's best friend. So yeah.
00:11:52
Speaker
RIP Tito. going to, I'm going to keep bringing that up tonight. Make sure everybody gives them a proper send off. Thanks man. i appreciate that. And then, uh, Oh, the shitty part of this week, too, is one of my good but rough truck rough truck buddies and guest former guest of my show and everything. ah His wife was just in a real bad accident this week, and she's down in the hospital. So we have a GoFundMe and one of my fellow rough truck, we call her the grandma of the group that runs with us.
00:12:28
Speaker
She started up a meal train and stuff for him and his kids. why she's recovering in hospital and stuff. So I got it. I'm post it up on our nonsensical network, social media platforms. So any of our fans and everything else and former guests, if anything to send out. So absolutely, man.
00:12:52
Speaker
So I'll have it posted up. post it up Yeah. I brought, I sent him a link. Hey, what's up, Johnny? Hey, Good evening, brothers. How are you? Oh, sorry, Johnny. not allowed up here no more. You made your appearance by.
00:13:04
Speaker
ah What's going on, man? How you feeling? Any better, Bubba? A little bit. He got hit with the bug this week. I ended holding him to see how he was doing. Yeah, I've been confined to the house. I'm like, damn, that sucks.
00:13:27
Speaker
want just Hold right on man.
00:13:32
Speaker
Where the hell is everybody tonight? Usually this place is hopping in the chatterbox and shit. but Yeah, i didn't I didn't promote that. i was taking over the network, Wally. so yeah You're fired. Get off the show. but I didn't even find out until Thursday. i was like, oh, yeah, sure. oh i i he He said something, too, about... ah possibly doing a shit one i'm gonna do a show. was like, I'll get a hold of Rocky and I'm not doing anything, I'll come up with him or whatever. or I'll run it. and it just depends He's like, well, Rocky said he'll do it. I'm like, okay, I'll come up with I'll come up and hang out for a while Rocky. so oh yeah robert oh I I I
00:14:21
Speaker
i told him i said yeah i can hop on i do have I was like, hey, man, i can I can only do a couple hours. I do have some plans tonight. And he was like, oh, no, it's okay. Wally can run it for nine hours. i was like, okay, cool.
00:14:33
Speaker
yeah I'll take over. It don't matter. Me and Johnny can take over. It's all good. Fuck yeah, man. Yeah.
00:14:46
Speaker
yeah I'm trying to pin this comment on YouTube. He needs to come down with a better system. Well, the thing of it is with the pinning situation, it's I'm still trying to figure out to get it the proper way to pin it in the comments and stuff, too. So don't feel bad, Rock.
00:15:04
Speaker
right. I'm working on I'm working on it. am not Bruce Lee's cousin. I'm his uncle. Two times removed. if if What's going on, Robert? How you doing, buddy?
00:15:19
Speaker
So wendy when did you get sick, Johnny? I've been sick now for like a week and a half.

Entertainment and Sports Discussion

00:15:27
Speaker
che started kind He was starting to come down with it last Thursday. You could tell when he was on the show, all getting stuffy and shit. When we were doing our show and I'm like saying to myself after I got off, I was like, yeah, he's not goingnna be feeling good. And I got a hold of him. He's like, yeah, I've been fighting it since.
00:15:44
Speaker
Hey, you gotta leave those girls alone, Johnny. No, he needs to leave us alone. Bad timing, man. He needs to leave us alone. but Yeah, man. Speaking of timing, I'm actually supposed be catching up with a buddy that I went to school with, and i'm hoping they should kick cakes before then.
00:16:04
Speaker
Yeah. ah So when you officially, officially joined in this, Rob... I am officially, officially joining you soon.
00:16:17
Speaker
and It's this month. Yeah, I said it at the beginning of the podcast. I was like, hey, it's not going to be 10 years. I can already hear him listening back to the recording. It's not to be 10 years. I just got to get a few more. I want to get a few more collections of stuff to react to first. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's strong, but I want it a little stronger. so i thought you've been joined.
00:16:40
Speaker
Well, technically, but I got to have a show first. so's gonna He's going to decide to take it over Saturday night. He's going to be official official with his own Rock Lee show.
00:16:52
Speaker
so we're Good hit, man. yeah.
00:16:55
Speaker
that's chi yeah That's right, man. Oh, no. Stop the applause, guys. Stop the applause. It's okay. It's okay. There you are. no. Keep those. Johnny, I did end up that guy I told you about that messaged me. He is coming on the show next Thursday.
00:17:23
Speaker
Good shit, man. Yep. Next Thursday night. Hell yeah. So we'll have two guests this week and two guests the following week on Mondays and Thursdays. Oh, shit.
00:17:35
Speaker
The one Thursday night's really going to open a lot of doors probably for a lot of more famous guests coming on the show. Hell yeah. what he He dabbles with the monster truck scenes, and he's done some pretty fancy work for some big-name team owners. We'll just leave it at that. can talk about a little bit more that. Hell yeah.
00:17:58
Speaker
we'll We'll leave it at that for the surprise to fill in and everything else next Thursday night on Speedway Stories. Oh, it's going to be great, man. Tune in, folks.
00:18:09
Speaker
Yeah. that Tune in, folks. Oh, it's going to be a blast. Well, what's even more exciting to kick this is the Guests that we got Monday night, um he just got running at Dennis Anderson's Spring Sling down at Dennis Anderson's property.
00:18:27
Speaker
yeah yes Yeah. So it's going to be cool to hear his adventures from race getting to race rough the rough trucks and stuff, along with all the mega trucks and everything, and hanging out with Dennis Anderson for a weekend.
00:18:44
Speaker
Good. Uh, I'll say it again. i was, I grew up around the rough trucks and stuff. And then as my family got into factor racing and stuff, I got accompanied with that, but it's, it's been great to be kind of revived with both of those again, man. It feels fucking awesome.
00:19:04
Speaker
So Rocky, what do you think of the draft so far this weekend?
00:19:10
Speaker
The draft. Yeah. Have you been watching any of it for the NFL? Yeah.
00:19:18
Speaker
Nah, man. I could have said ah Tom Brady, you wrote lost your shit. Yeah. yeah No, i don't I don't follow a lot of the major sports anymore.
00:19:31
Speaker
I used to. yeah when i got It's my job. so First of all, Willie, it's not from a lack of interest. It's from a lack of time. My fucking job. If you don't have the time, you got to adjust. I am. I am. I mean, no, if you can't.
00:19:47
Speaker
You don't have the time for It's understandable. i mean and yeah But if you die hard like you used to be, it kind of makes it rough sometimes when you can't enjoy it. And then you're trying to catch up with people that are so into it. It's like, damn it, I missed this and this and this. i Yeah, no, seriously. i am i i Shit, I think it was like maybe, so right around COVID, honestly. So COVID killed it for me.
00:20:13
Speaker
i So I was working like crazy, trying to keep up. And then when I am watching, I see these little cardboard cutouts of people in the stands and the stadiums and stuff. of And i just it just took it out of me, man. And so I stopped watching that season. And then after that, work took over and I just stopped paying attention altogether. but That's what did it for me on wrestling.
00:20:35
Speaker
is the fucking cardboard and the TV screen bullshit in the stadium. I quit watching for like, up until last year, really. and I started getting back into it heavy in 2025. So basically almost three years of, yeah, read online, kind of keep up with it a little bit, but To literally sit and watch a whole episode It took until last year It's the same thing during that too Like the, it's just the world came a halt Man, you know, it's just, it's really weird But no, I've i've been Wanting to get back into it So I'm working on some some some Shifts, some changes with With the job so I can have more Free time to yeah to do What I love doing, you know what saying? Right Oh, the Canadians are here he ain't allowed up here
00:21:24
Speaker
Okay Oh welcome to the stage Oh Canada Oh I'm just
00:21:39
Speaker
Oh shit Oh shit thinking that That's Hulk Hogan not Bret Hart bro Oh What's up James How you doing buddy What are you doing James
00:21:54
Speaker
You know, I heard wrestling. I had to come up. I heard wrestling. i had You heard a body smashing, sir.
00:22:07
Speaker
Your body's snatching and jumped up on the panel. That's funny. How you doing, James? It's been a while, man. I haven't seen you bit. I don't know about you, mean Gene, but what you gonna do when these 24-inch pythons run wild on you? Take your prayers and eat your vitons.
00:22:28
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait. Real quick, can you just can i see those can I see those pythons one more time? In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups.
00:22:40
Speaker
The police who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.
00:22:51
Speaker
ah When you flexed, man, Law & Order came on. that's Hey, man, how was your guys' this week? ah Johnny, besides you being freaking sick, which is freaking awful, Wally's had a rough start to the week. WrestleMania weekend, it was good. Besides WrestleMania, it was going.
00:23:12
Speaker
Hey, I'm going to say something a little controversial, man. WrestleMania this year sucked, bro. It sucked. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:26
Speaker
Stop. It sucked. It was. There was. Oh, man. I'm such a huge WrestleMania fan. I've been watching all my life, right? And I always had this excitement when it came up.
00:23:38
Speaker
And it was fire. The Brock and Oba Femi match. That was the best match. It should have waited 10 minutes. It should have waited at least 10 minutes.
00:23:49
Speaker
Yeah, but here that's my point Like, I think it's become too commercialized now Whereas before, like they built They built, oh, that then you got the walk down, though Ooh It's become too commercialized Like, before they took time, they built up stories So at least 50% of the stories I was kind of invested in And like, hey, man, I really want to see how this plays out And this year, it was just Oba. It was just Oba. That's CM Punk and punky Roman Reigns, man. Oh, okay. That was night two. Roman Reigns actually used the steel steps in the ref. CM Punk is still champion. CM Punk is still champion. You know what? You do have a point.
00:24:41
Speaker
yeah the yeah um He should have been disqualified for that. and sam him they not chi the champion Yeah, because they've actually, every wrestling outlet on the media platform, they've got pictures right there of literally in video of the ref staring at Romans doing that. and In the other match, it would have been called a disqualification.
00:25:06
Speaker
Yep.
00:25:09
Speaker
yep i I was not a big fan. You know what? I will give it to you, though. CM Punk performed his ass off in that match. Oh, hell yeah. and and And Roman, to be fair, that was a good match. And it went longer than 10 minutes. Would you believe me? That was actually the longest match of the whole weekend.
00:25:28
Speaker
Yeah. It was. It was. What's up, Chris? How you doing, buddy? yeah Now we're in trouble. Chris, good to see you. Scorpio, what's up man, how you doing? Hell yeah um No, it was the longest match of this weekend it It was good, I'm just saying for a Wrestlemania I'm pretty sure it was roa Cody and Randy Orton Pretty sure Cody and Randy Orton was a little longer Nope, hell yeah Roman and CM Punk was the longest match
00:26:01
Speaker
Guys, go back and listen. yeah andy or We did the reaction show and I was on it and you will see me lose my ever fucking loving mind. when Pat McAfee came running down that fucking ramp, I lost my whole mind. was this motherfucker, dude. I was so happy when he got RKO'd. He got rolled out by Jelly Roll. He got rolled out by Jelly Roll. My thing of it is, that storyline did not need either one of them involved in that because how much history was between Randy and the movie.
00:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, that was made for no reason. I don't know. i just I would think that this wasn't a WrestleMania. Rick
00:26:57
Speaker
Well, I heard that... Ted DiBiase Jr. Because he was with Blankensky. Yeah. either roadde have truly have that That would have been huge Can you imagine Triple H and Batista And all these people came out and helped Randy Orton win Dude I would have lost That would have been sick That's such a sick easy thing to do Batista But the but thing is is Batista does not want nothing to do With this modern day era WWE He's made that loud and clear yeah I heard that he said that
00:27:32
Speaker
Yep, he does not like the direction it is going. Well, get this, Rocky. The following Monday on um the Facebook threads, the TKO president legit came up and said, Triple H is their puppet. They are in charge of the creative.
00:27:49
Speaker
on for WWE. He literally said that on a podcast. No, but that's because they are cursed.
00:28:00
Speaker
ah lovely And then then yesterday, read the James, did you see this? The whole list of people they just released? Oh, yeah, yeah the Wyatt family. Wyatt Six is gone. Aleister Black's gone.
00:28:17
Speaker
Ego Sky's gone. Wait, no, no, I gotta look at this list. What's his name? Cruz, the Cruz guy. so Yeah. Eskenbar just got to come back and they just released him. But yeah, everybody from Wyatt Six is gone. 23. 23.
00:28:34
Speaker
twenty hours Aleister Black and his wife Zelina's gone. Zelina Vega. Yeah. like Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, Aleister Black and... Zelina Vega.
00:28:47
Speaker
Wow. Santos Escobar. And he just came back on NXT and they just released him. Oh, shit. No, I think he was SmackDown. I think he was on SmackDown.
00:29:00
Speaker
Apollo Crews? Yeah, released again. No way. Again, they just brought him back not too long ago. Yeah, TKO is sticking with... they're gonna be They're starting to be worse than Vince McMahon was. What I want gone is Eoskai. I want Eoskai gone. She sucks.
00:29:23
Speaker
Eoskai sucks. Kairi Hussain got released. Seriously, she was there was nothing wrong with her. yeah Well, especially Bo Dallas. Bo Dallas. He should have stayed.
00:29:38
Speaker
But I guarantee they're going to come back. They're going to come back. They're going to become more evil. Actually, from what Bo Dallas said, there wasn't even an implement of them talking of bringing them back in the near future.
00:29:56
Speaker
Their contracts were completely terminated. Jesus.
00:30:06
Speaker
Well, hell, the the bad part is is they had a great thing going with the Wyatt Six, but they stuck him with fucking the MTF bullshit storylines and didn't do nothing with it.
00:30:17
Speaker
What a disgrace to Ray Wyatt. Eric Rowan just, wow, I'm just looking through this list. This is crazy. the but but And it's everybody they brought back within the last year or two.
00:30:29
Speaker
Yeah, but they brought back Paige. You know, tune in a couple of months, they'll join in AEW. They're joining Yeah, man. I'm excited. If they do, I'm excited. They actually enjoy AEW. AEW is actually pretty good. They got a bit of the attitude area. AEW has a bit of the attitude area.
00:30:54
Speaker
Well, when your owner is actually a fanboy, that kind of helps and kind of hurts. And kind of hurts a little bit. Yeah. How would you say it hurts, Wally?
00:31:06
Speaker
Because he's got a lot of talent sitting on that roster that ain't even being used. Yeah. Yeah, because he's using his favorites. Yep, he's using all the former big-name WWE stars instead of some of the... And he's got some talent, the younger talent that's on there...
00:31:22
Speaker
um That have proven themselves, but he just keeps bringing in more of the ex-WWE stars and keeps pushing. you Sorry to interrupt, but all I got to say is join the dark order.
00:31:34
Speaker
Join the dark order. They need to make that stable huge again. That was an awesome stable. It was. I'm down with that. Oh, I made, by the way, Wally, at your direction, I did make Glick in WWE. I am working on the rest of us as characters. I'm gonna make you too, Johnny. I'm gonna put you guys in a Royal Rumble for one of my reacts and I'm not even gonna, I'm just gonna completely computer and just see who wins. That'll be fucking cool. Yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker
yeah I forgot who gave me that idea last and last Saturday. I was like, yeah, you know what? That's a great idea. Just have James running out to O Canada and jumping in the ring and freaking body slamming glitch. Oh, dude, I got to see that. I'll be the Canadian Hoke Hogan. Drink your beers and say your prayers.
00:32:32
Speaker
kick in Oh, shit, dude. I can see that. I'm working on it. It's going to be cool, man. I got to spend some time with it. was like, going to make Wally, Johnny. I'll even put Brittany in it. I'll just put a whole energy. Just go to town, man. and just We all sit and react. Instead of all the little American, Ottawa is all real so Canadian. Take your prayers and beers,
00:33:10
Speaker
Don't worry. I'll make sure you get a spot. Don't don't worry. you'll get yourself You'll get yourself a spot. We'll Wally coming in at number one. That's finally. That is finally. Oh, shit.
00:33:24
Speaker
There we go. Make sure Glick looks like a Sasquatch when you do it. I tried to put heavy body fur on him. I really tried to make him look like stupid, but it didn't work that well.
00:33:36
Speaker
that yeah I did. i was trying to make it like look kind of like shit. I even gave him 66 overall. Like
00:33:52
Speaker
Yo yo I was just gonna ask What wrestling game are you using To make them It's WWE So just last year k Yeah yeah so cool Yeah, they'll let you, like, sometimes they'll let you take, like, their face and stuff and actually just put it on. like ah But it looks kind of funky when I do it. So I was like, I'm not doing that. um <unk> I'll just make it look kind of and whatever. You'll know who it is.
00:34:21
Speaker
Oh, I do need to make charge. You got a good point. I was getting ready to say Scorpio's got nail that easy. and All I got to do is copy Kevin Nash and put him in military gear. and but yeah That's all I got to do. i swear. Nobody agrees with me, but I swear. Sarge looks like Kevin. Too Yeah,
00:34:49
Speaker
yeah man that but um But back to the AAW where you were asking why. but Yeah, the hidden talent, the young talent. fur um boy Go ahead. but But one of the non-WWE stars that I love that he's pushing on AEW is Will Ospreay.
00:35:08
Speaker
That motherfucker yeah is um amazing. He is like the best thing he signed that wasn't a former WWE star. oh you talk Talking about Too Sweet, I actually got the Too Sweet Conan. i actually Too Sweet Conan. Did you really? but um my I'm not joking, brother. i may i went to an event. They didn't have ah they didn't have like a case. I was walking around. i met Abyss and fucking Conan on a TV event.
00:35:42
Speaker
I meant Abyss and Conan Abyss was smoking a cigarette Abyss was smoking a cigarette Oh you're talking about Rick Scorpio Yeah I'm talking about Rick Yep cook
00:36:01
Speaker
i'll put yes should i you know what yeah I'll put Rick in there too Why not? yeah It was cool, though. i didn't have to pay for the wrestling event. and ah Impact was doing a free event.
00:36:13
Speaker
yo I remember that. I saw a Bob Wire Massacre match on Impact. not Nice. No way. It was ah l LAX versus OBE or whatever they were. Oh, so it was back it was back when AJ Styles and shit was still part of TNA. Oh, no, this was like five years ago. it was about five years ago. Oh, so was a reunion kind of thing.
00:36:43
Speaker
I'm making a list for you. Give me one sec, I'll show you.
00:36:50
Speaker
Oh, what in the profile fake picture is that? but It's agent. What the fuck?
00:36:59
Speaker
Leave it to James. I will put anybody you guys want in this Royal Rumble match, and then we'll stream it live, and I'll keep my hands off of it, um and we'll just sit and watch, man. We'll react together, see who wins. Make sure you get Lazy and Shaman and Scott going on, too. I was talking about Shaman, but it's hard for Shaman. like I'm going to have to actually make like a Shaman because there's no other way.
00:37:24
Speaker
For me to know his face The fool hides his face from the internet I'm going to have to make him Just a green shaman dude Oh wow Look at that the bound for glory Oh shit Nice Yeah that was in 17 I went there I didn't have to pay anything they were giving out free tickets for the event They were giving out free tickets Hey, Mandy, what's happening? They did, ah think, too, they did Genesis and Bound for Glory, I might say.
00:38:07
Speaker
Genesis and Bound for Glory for their pay-per-view. Nice. They did two-week taping. They did a two-week taping, I might say. Did you know, James, that... there That the Undertaker now runs the AAA Mexican Lucha now?
00:38:28
Speaker
I don't know yeah didnt anybody what you said, Wally. Can you say that again? Undertaker is now running the... ah he is not korea He's not running it. He's helping out with AAA. He's helping out with the Mexican wrestling.
00:38:43
Speaker
What do you mean, how did I get another Saturday Night gig? Ha ha ha! Ha ha!
00:38:50
Speaker
Because the views in the ratings were so good last time, they had to give me another spot. There was no choice. They had to get the main man, the main guy running the show, the real show.
00:39:03
Speaker
um I've heard that I'm one of the best hosts, if not the best host. I've known a lot of hosts, too, and they've said that. And I've said it myself. Oh, yeah. Scorpio, yes, we'll get a jersey in there Yes, Johnny Bongs is going to absolute kick ass in that match talk yeah do And you know what, Mandy, just for that comment I'm going to make you too You going in the WWE match I'm drafting you You're going in, man yeah
00:39:35
Speaker
And you can't bring your your dog with you It's just going to be it's go to be you versus jersey Oh, man, this is to be great
00:39:47
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. Follow Scorpio, guys. Everybody hit that like, share, and subscribe. Hit that like and share and subscribe, please. We need the views. If I'm going to keep posting, I need the views. So please do it before Wally fires me.
00:40:03
Speaker
You're fired. It happened too quick. are I even get a chance. look at look Look, he's already getting ready to wrestle. Look, it's not it's not real life.
00:40:19
Speaker
It's in the game. Oh, God. yeah It's me versus Johnny. James, I don't like what happens at next after this. Give me guys a second. I'll be right back. Okay, Wally. oh I don't like what happens after this, James.
00:40:34
Speaker
ah It's too hot in my room. I gotta to take a shirt off. Don't we think highly of our top team? Are you taking your shirt off because Mandy's here, James? You can't do that, man.
00:40:53
Speaker
Oh man No this is gonna be it was a great idea I don't forgot who i I wish I remembered who Said that to me last week So that I could give them the proper credit But yeah I thought that would be really cool For one of my reacts It was Sergeant Modug It was and was Sergeant Modug See I don't remember Thank you James
00:41:16
Speaker
Nice, Mandy Jane's been working out, man Look at that You get some love, buddy Hell yeah
00:41:25
Speaker
ah carry in cases of nice beie ah ja's been working out man look at that get some love buddy yeah yeah
00:41:40
Speaker
Don't worry.

Art Projects and Cultural Insights

00:41:41
Speaker
See, Johnny Bongs is just out on injury right now with the sickness, but he'll be back stronger than ever. You're damn right, man. Shit.
00:41:52
Speaker
That's right, dude. Johnny, what have you been working on lately? I haven't seen any of your artwork. I have been doing practice. Fucking iron sheep. Hang on a second.
00:42:04
Speaker
Let me see.
00:42:07
Speaker
ah fuck I've been doing facial practices. Not really any full canvases yet as of lately, but I've been doing some practicing stuff. Having another second one.
00:42:18
Speaker
Have you got done your dragon pieces? That's been like two years since you've been working on that picture there, John. James, the thing is, with traditional Japanese... Get her done already! Nah, James. The thing is, there's people that do traditional Japanese And practiced for like five fucking years straight, dude.
00:42:42
Speaker
Just trying to learn the lore and the backstories of shit. At least they least got the face and the arms done. Okay. ah This is for you, James. I say work out in the sun more before he looks like he might. I'm going to be the next Hulk Hogan. I'm going to be the next Hulk Hogan.
00:43:02
Speaker
Or, you know, maybe just work out just enough. it done Don't work out too much or you'll look like man and Just try to avoid that. yeah what else we got, Johnny? Yeah, let me see.
00:43:12
Speaker
I got something that I'm working on the progress here. It's going to be a Fujian and Rajen piece for anybody that knows who they are. and Buddhist deities of wind and thunder. Yeah.
00:43:24
Speaker
That's sick, dude. There's a certain way I got to do the background, so I've been working on that's been taking a lot of my time and the technique for the clouds as well. So it's been something that practiced multiple papers. You've been getting too high, Johnny Longzola. You've been getting too high. You can't finish. God damn it, James. You're too high.
00:43:43
Speaker
ah Tell him, man. You're setting up the feud right now, by the way. It doesn't take two years finish a goddamn picture. No, if I scribble that on a page, you're going to slap me in the face, okay?
00:43:57
Speaker
I'm going to slap you in the face with my nutsack. I'm going to slap you in the face with my nutsack. You hear it. Mandy, you're watching it right now. This is on the road to WrestleMania.
00:44:12
Speaker
We'll say, well'll call well, we got to call it something else, Johnny. I don't know. no We're on the road of backlash. back No, we got we can't call it something wy WWE related. We got to come up with our own name. Fucking road to glory, man. Come on now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Road to glory.
00:44:29
Speaker
Yo, let me tell you something there, brother. What you
00:44:38
Speaker
I was doing a promo. what do the bravo do the pro do promo yeah Do the promo. Canadian bastard. The man of the hour runs wild on you.
00:44:52
Speaker
That's my promo. Canadian bastard. Just call me the Canadian bastard. I'm going to run wild on you. You're a bastard, all right. That's for sure.
00:45:05
Speaker
Everyone's got their money in the Bastard Mania. Mania is a lot.
00:45:13
Speaker
That's so funny, man. My God, no.
00:45:19
Speaker
Fucking... Fucking menish names. When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside.
00:45:32
Speaker
ah second okay bu um thank you oh so funny man i I Think that ah we gotta come up with a we gotta come up with a song for Mandy to For Mandy I don't know
00:45:50
Speaker
ah for many how low I don't know. We'll look into it. I don't know. want to see Johnny Bongs do a Spinner Rooney. Can Johnny Bongs do a Spinner Rooney?
00:46:06
Speaker
I can make his character do one. Spinner Rooney, Johnny Bongs. You're a motherfucker sometimes, James. You gotta to go Booker T and do the Spinner Rooney. What about Booker but You want to see a hooker spin? What?
00:46:30
Speaker
I said I said spin-a-rooney. Booker T does the spin-a-rooney. Yeah, you want to see a hooker spin? What?
00:46:40
Speaker
I haven't got laid in a while. i could You ought to pay him a lot for that, man. You to have that pocketbook ready, you know? Oh, stop with You got your pocketbook. oh you won you johnny bo guy boy in the town johnny okay Johnny, you won. you You won and you haven't even gotten to WrestleMania yet. yeah
00:47:14
Speaker
That's so funny, man. I will. i I'll will sing a little tune on oh Maybe. i don't know. It depends how many beers I have tonight.
00:47:28
Speaker
I got got lots of beers. Let's go. I got lots What's your beer of choice, James? so you I'm glad I'm rooting for you. A free cold one. A free cold one.
00:47:39
Speaker
That's my favorite beer. That's my favorite beer, bro. That's my favorite beer. The free cold one. I remember one time I went camping and there's these people who were camping like maybe, don't know, like A little waste. away when rock woke up with a so but No, they brought me freaking warm beer.
00:48:02
Speaker
i was so insulted. I wanted to be nice, but i was just like, dude, did you bring me a free warm beer? No, thank you. like That's the only time I've ever said no thank you. That's why I was free. Come on now.
00:48:14
Speaker
like i got I got cold ones. How about I give you one, man? I can have one of my beers. One time at band camp. Shut up. Scorpio. One time at band camp.
00:48:28
Speaker
once im at band camp Be right back. Pup needs out. Sounds good, Mandy. And hop your butt up here, too, man. We got to hear your perspective of this wrestling match that we got. Oh, yo, there was that one time in where Glock and Rock were at band camp. I involved a trumpet. I'm not sure what hole it was. It was Glock, Glick, and Rock.
00:49:00
Speaker
The only thing that I was ever part of Like that was this scene right here Oh And all I did hold the microphone Lights, camera, action Lights, camera, action As you can tell Glick was the star of the show He was the real star
00:49:23
Speaker
No, that's ah that's actually sick, Johnny. i like that I like your art stuff, man. Honestly, some of those pieces I would actually get. Well, I would get all like your art stuff, but you gotta to go faster there, Johnny. This shit takes studying, man. It doesn't take two years to goddamn finish the picture, guys.
00:49:40
Speaker
It doesn't take two years. Okay, allow me to school James here real quick. Okay, go ahead. First, James, you gotta study, okay, feudal Japan.
00:49:51
Speaker
Then you start with that. Then you start with the offshoots of of the decorative elements on where things kind of start with a piece. You can't just slap a character on there and call it that. No, everything goes down to the pattern of the lightning... Oh, Donnie, Donnie, you ever finish her? Lightning strikes, James. Lightning strikes on the page.
00:50:12
Speaker
Okay. You can study where those go before you can even place the main element, which is going to be the Fujin and Okay. wind wind thunder yes Wind and Wind and thunder Oh If only you knew how long it takes put like that on your skin Yeah, that's true There are some people that book three years in advance, and then when you finally get an appointment, it takes them three more fucking years to put it on your skin.
00:50:44
Speaker
Glick did have his way with that doll. Well, I've been waiting in three years, Johnny. anywhere I'm gonna fuck your day up, James. I'm white as a motherfucker. I need a tattoo, Johnny. Where's my tattoo? I'm gonna fuck your day up.
00:50:59
Speaker
ah I'm gonna send hoss off here, asshole. Send hoss off.
00:51:09
Speaker
standing your ass. but than john and but oh No, I'm not joking, john Johnny. You're getting like love in the comments, man. I just want you to know.
00:51:28
Speaker
oh Johnny, that koi fish is koi fish. How's that coming along? The koi fish is put on hold, of James. andm working on The koi fish is put on hold because i I'm not at the correct teaching level. because I can get the head and the scales. Where's my lawyer, my lawyer.
00:51:50
Speaker
Where's Johnny there, Haas? Haas, I know you got big paws, Haas. Punch him in the face. Haas is my lawyer. Haas my lawyer. Use one of them bear paws and just whack.
00:52:04
Speaker
Haas is bald now. Yeah, Hoss is bald now.
00:52:13
Speaker
It's been a while, Hoss. How you been, bro?
00:52:19
Speaker
Winner of Tico! Off of the James Ottawa vs.
00:52:27
Speaker
What's in the old Bubba Gump down there?
00:52:34
Speaker
Johnny Boggs wants to giggle Hoss's balls. No, i ah i shaved my I shaved my head for a good cause. my ah a family where johnny wags he shaved hiscent For Johnny for Johnny Boggs. A family member of mine has cancer.
00:52:53
Speaker
So I shaved my head to support them. How do you feel about yourself now, James? Yeah, how do you feel, James? Huh? huh What are you going to say about that? Your fucking Eminem hairline. I'm going to say my prayers and eat my lunch.
00:53:05
Speaker
Because you're Marshall Mathers looking fucking...
00:53:10
Speaker
I need some feel-pitchy guys in a little bit. I'm going to go eat ah the clearest trans matters you' goneny balls you could suck my right You wish you could,
00:53:27
Speaker
he can suck the right one hoss is on my left i thought you said he was your lawyer
00:53:37
Speaker
Well, he's a shitty lawyer. He never has a fucking lawyer. No, that means a sucky lawyer. Listen here, you bastard. I've never seen him as a fucking
00:53:50
Speaker
Good job, Johnny. Get your insults right, kids. I did it. You fucking bastard. Well, man, I'm tired of hearing about your ah your family member with cancer, dude. That's awful, but... Good on you, man. You had a good head of hair and you cut it off. I would do the same, but I don don't have any hair to shave.
00:54:11
Speaker
Oh, my word, Jedi. Get your ass up here. And get control of your hair. Let the hair it.
00:54:21
Speaker
What are you doing? with sound effects look There you go. You're getting man. what's how we can see that james Can't wait to see that Johnny and James match. See? Look, you guys are popular. look at it a Full Nelson right into a table. is oh Man, dude, man. Watching them go at it was like better than watching WWE w right now.
00:54:52
Speaker
she had So you missed it, Haas. We're talking. So i'm I'm in the process of making everybody from the network and from the Lazy and Shaman show into characters in WWE.
00:55:08
Speaker
And then I'm going to put them in a Royal Rumble match. And we're just going to watch, man. and We're just going to see who wins. And the most anticipated fight is Johnny.
00:55:22
Speaker
It's Johnny versus any and all Canadians. yeah He's just going to take them all. That's going to be his job.
00:55:34
Speaker
Look, as an honorary, though, I want to get the kid to beat his ass. Mm-hmm. no Yeah, it's going to happen. what I'll put you guys in a steel cage match. He can't run.
00:55:46
Speaker
It's going to be like the match of Fun Boy on the curl. Oh, my God. But, Haas, how have you been, buddy? Oh, I've been hanging in there. Just been chilling.
00:55:58
Speaker
Wally is talking to his damn self because he's muted.
00:56:05
Speaker
You're muted, Wahlberg. Don't fire me, man. and boom Hi, guys. How's the Loli show? Fuck you. I even try to bring myself back. I was like, yeah.
00:56:23
Speaker
Oh, man. I had to. Holy shit. Oh. man there i had to so oh yeah
00:56:37
Speaker
Wally, where'd you go, bud? Time to handle some stuff. I'm good. That sounds ominous. Is the NetherRealm nice this time of year, Wally? Dude, you missed... You are still getting love, by the way, Johnny. What the hell?
00:56:55
Speaker
Oh, shit. Everyone's got their money on Johnny versus James in this match, by the way. Any other day of the week, maybe, but in the shape I'm in now, I'm probably going to get heaved through a table.
00:57:07
Speaker
I don't know what he did. Maybe. yeah Yeah, all the time, Scorpio. Damn you. Quit telling the secrets.
00:57:20
Speaker
Dude, Johnny was showing off and showing off his beautiful, beautiful work, man. ah I know it don't look like much now, but I got big plans for that one.
00:57:32
Speaker
Yeah, man. I'm just getting the background done. Yeah. That looks good, Yoni. I think it looks great, man. Is that shading? Is that shading or is that marker? So this is all marker, man.
00:57:44
Speaker
Wow. But to even get those kind of bars done, takes kind of it takes some precision, man. Because if you do the one wrong, then all of them down the road are going to be wrong. I see more streaks in Haas' head than I do in that picture.
00:58:01
Speaker
Everything right down to the for the shading for the clouds. Austin needs to put a hat on. We're all going fucking blind from the glider.
00:58:12
Speaker
Yeah, Austin, you do it. yeah The only thing I don't like about being bald is you can see my my ah my headset indent on my head. Wait, you actually have one? i Whoa. Yeah, you can actually kind of see it a little bit. Not really. I saw this dude. It was really bad, man. His whole skull looked like...
00:58:31
Speaker
caved in from his headset. Oh, God. what happens when you live in your mama's basement all the time? 24-7. He's got a blow-up gal down there. He'll be all right. I don't know. Wally, do you want to go against Glick in this WrestleMania?
00:58:50
Speaker
Sure. That way I can make his Sasquatch ass tap instead of my ass tapping.
00:58:58
Speaker
That's right. You heard it here first, folks. um You're going to watch a Wally tap Glick's ass. so and Oh.
00:59:08
Speaker
That's okay. Johnny does that enough with Haas, too, so it's all good. This is some bullshit. Come on, Haas.
00:59:17
Speaker
this is some bullshit catch come on hi
00:59:25
Speaker
No, I'm i' excited about it. Everyone has gotten into it, but we all have all of our money on Johnny Bong's winning the whole thing.
00:59:36
Speaker
I'll just be on commentary. I'll just i'll stick on commentary. Johnny, you're fired if you win. you on the is that good rig You will get a championship though for it, so don't worry about it, Johnny. She's over here running fucking high stakes matches up there in the corner.
00:59:58
Speaker
It's your career on the line for being on the network. You win, you lose. I guess they're telling me to take a dive.
01:00:08
Speaker
Hey, does this look like Jake Paul and Mike Tyson to you? Yeah. so Yeah.
01:00:21
Speaker
I lost 2,000 on that match. Did you really? I put it all on Mike, dude. There was no fucking way I threw that guy. Well, my part about that match was you could tell after the fucking first round that it was fixed because Tyson was pulling back the whole goddamn time.
01:00:39
Speaker
Well, you can imagine my tears. you know I was pissed. I didn't have i didn't have money on it. But i I wanted Tyson to prove that Paul was a fake like Anthony Joshua did.
01:00:53
Speaker
yep i Yep. I bet like two or three days before the fight. um And it was I lost it to some stupid kid too. like i'm I'm sorry if you're watching. but I love this stupid kid that was into, he was highly into He's one of my employees. That's why i said that.
01:01:14
Speaker
But he's like super into Logan Paul, Jake Paul, back when they were doing their thing on the YouTube scene. And he's like, oh, Jake Paul's got this. He's an old man. I'm like, have you seen this? Like, man, I hope he kicks his ass. If they would have let the Tyson, the thing we got to see the training of the videos and everything else, it would have never made it past the third round.
01:01:38
Speaker
No, man. No. No. And I hear. So did was I talking some. so Sorry. yeah Yeah, exactly. Some stupid kid. I'm sorry, man. I'm so mad.
01:01:56
Speaker
He's like, can you count it out for me, too? Can you get it in 20s? He was just he was just pissing me the fuck off. I was sitting in my office and no and not paying attention to work, which i probably will get in trouble for, but I was sitting and just watching this match and just being upset about the whole thing.
01:02:14
Speaker
Hell, you should have just gave it to them all in pennies.
01:02:19
Speaker
Damn, that's a such a good idea, Fuck
01:02:25
Speaker
it, pennies.
01:02:31
Speaker
Chris, give me a Baconator. Wally will take one too, but he'll take the Baconator fries with that. ah And what do you think? A Coke, Wally? Coke? Sure.
01:02:43
Speaker
He'll take a Coke. Hey, Haas. I'm going to be in Ohio on May 22nd through the 25th. Well, going to lock the state down.
01:03:00
Speaker
a I'm sorry go ahead I thought you were coming in July dummy no I'm coming in coming out for a Memorial Day you can go to fucking Ohio to see Mike but not here asshole I see how the fuck it is I'm coming we're getting the war going on now me and Ty are going to pull up hey look powder's here I'll throw a rock at your car, horse.
01:03:34
Speaker
Okay, here's the man, the myth, the legend. What's up? What's up, ladies? Give it up for Jedi. Wait, wait, wait.
01:03:44
Speaker
I really don't like your lack of enthusiasm. Hey, guys. Chill. don't like one bit, okay? Okay. Fucking letting you do the easy lifting tonight, huh? like I'm not. I am a guest, just like everybody else. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. got terminated for my contract. Wally decided that 22 people be released this week from WWE wasn't enough.
01:04:13
Speaker
you You should unionize. You should unionize. Careful, ladies. Hey, you know Wally? You better watch yourself, bro. Hey, the way, Haas, what was your wish?
01:04:28
Speaker
Oh, shut up. Oh, dude, that is wrong. but You want to meet Stone Cold?
01:04:39
Speaker
You dressed like him. I had a beer. so What? No, Hoss, you're rocking bald look really well, bro. i'm like I put in the comments earlier, I'm jealous of it. You're making me look bad, okay? You're you're pulling off the bald look way better than me. I was going to say, Lazy, you got some competition now, buddy. You son of a bitch.
01:05:05
Speaker
Fucking johnny Johnny called me the T-Moo Wilson Fisk yesterday. Yeah, truth hurts
01:05:18
Speaker
hurts. He wants to go take down Superman. You mean Spider-Man? No, not for you. Spider-Man's too good for you. You're going you're going towards the DC stuff.
01:05:29
Speaker
That's why you're T-Moo, Hoss. that's why you're on tu class
01:05:34
Speaker
a
01:05:38
Speaker
look alice I think that you did it for an amazing cause. I'm so supportive of that. I would not pay any attention at all to what he has to say. was a great call.
01:05:52
Speaker
All right, Jenna, get control your network.
01:05:56
Speaker
Oh, shit.
01:06:00
Speaker
I can't hear a damn thing, buddy. yeah You were completely muted. Your lips are muted? um Fuck, I can't speak. I'm high. Your lips are moving, but your words are muted.
01:06:11
Speaker
Yeah, good shit. Let's just do this so we can talk to everyone. Sorry. See, I wasn't muted on my... Here's your words. Here's your words.
01:06:31
Speaker
Rocky, that's strike two. okay i'll tell I'll take a strike. I'll take a strike, too. I'm okay. That's all right. How do I unearn strikes? I forgot to ask that.
01:06:44
Speaker
You have to be really nice. Really nice? Mm-hmm. You look like the dude that has a theme song that sounds like this.
01:06:56
Speaker
That's strike two and a half. That's not two and a half. the Johnny Sims is a great actor. i mean, it's two and a half. You can take it up with HR, but that's two and a half. Shaman HR.
01:07:10
Speaker
Yeah, but he's busy. no wonder and no wonder i No wonder I never see his face. fucking much. Right? See, now now it all makes sense. I am behaving just fine. I need my baconator and I'll change my

Humorous Exchanges and Jokes

01:07:31
Speaker
tune. I gotta text him and be like, get to your fucking faceless ass up here.
01:07:37
Speaker
I'm going to make an actual shaman um to put him in the... Yeah, wait, wait. You said you were making things for WrestleMania. Okay, I want to see what mine looks like. Yep, I'm going to put you. Everybody's getting a placement. I can't... I have to change yours, Haas. I didn't realize you were both now, so I'll have to hot you go in and fix yours. but You know my finishing move would be?
01:08:00
Speaker
The mayonnaise bomb. Oh. The mayonnaise. Boom. You get knocked out and your cholesterol goes up, bitch. What now? That's not what I thought of when I thought of Mane's. I don't know anything about wrestling anymore. I haven't watched his life, though.
01:08:23
Speaker
I thought this was going in a different direction. I think Mane's mom is pretty fucking awesome. No, Johnny, my head went there, too. And so did Haas, but... I thought Diddy was going to get involved.
01:08:34
Speaker
yeah Whoa. You know, in a pinch, mayonnaise can be used as a lubricant.
01:08:45
Speaker
It just all depends, man. Just don't look. Just feel. Just don't look. Yeah, you got to TV wonder that shit. Just feel of around. ah Just close your eyes. Don't look, man. You'll be fine. Close your eyes and think of Wendy's.
01:09:07
Speaker
I mean, hot little redhead giving you burgers? Hell yeah.
01:09:14
Speaker
So, Jedi, tell me. I want to hear about Jedi's week, man, because I missed the show this weekend. Oh, you missed the show? Well, you need to go and re-watch. Which you can obviously, everyone can do on the Nonsensical Nonsense. Just go ahead and like, share, and subscribe, and you can, too, then watch Jedi.
01:09:37
Speaker
Yeah exactly jedi i might Not really But I appreciate it Well it's going to send people To our network and then they're going to be like What the hell Jedi isn't even on this Network Shadon's going to get here And he's going to be pissed because normally he comes up He's like are you sharing it to our audience I'm like no Why Why aren't you sharing it to your audience Jedi Come on, man. Did you guys hear this? There's bet in there.
01:10:07
Speaker
Your sound effects. That's why. That's why I'm blaming your sound effects.
01:10:22
Speaker
Okay, you got me at the end with that little giggle, okay? That little giggle got me. And I don't like to admit that because I want to hate on your sound effects, even though they're good. fuck you Fuck you. I've gotten all my sound effects because of you. We're still waiting for your application to roll through for for the Lazy Trauma Show. I put in my application. No, you didn't. But I put in my application. Okay, well, if you faxed it over, our fax machine is broken, so... fucking hate it. That's not my problem. Our fax machine is like the ice cream machines at McDonald's, okay? It just never works. Are you sure it was an application not a two-week notice?
01:10:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah yep, yep. Maybe that was what it was. You forgot to tell Glick. Hey, Johnny. yeah What? You know how many people were in Pittsburgh over the weekend?
01:11:10
Speaker
Why not, Hoss? How many? 805,000 people for the draft. I love Hoss's fun facts. What's going on? He'll just be like, hey, did you guys know this? Can you tell us another fun fact, Hoss? He's like a Snapple lid.
01:11:33
Speaker
I remember that shit. I used to get Snapple with it. always had something cool on the back of it. Oh, shit. I didn't know that. And you know what? Do you know what's funny as fuck? I trusted Snapples so much. I never researched if they were correct. I was just like, Snapples knows what's going on. I trust them. I mean, they taste delicious, so why would I ever fact check them? What up?
01:11:56
Speaker
I've never spent any any time at all look at double fact checking simply just because I can't be bothered. What if there are lies this whole time? They probably could have been. I bet they had some fucking intern there day one. If you fart hard enough, your rectum will turn into a fucking balloon animal.
01:12:17
Speaker
No, see, that's something I would have tried. See, I would have been like, really? Do you know how many interns probably did that? They're just like, don't give a shit. I'm not going to work here in a week, so I'm just going to put out some new facts that army but everybody's going to believe 100%.
01:12:32
Speaker
Oh, fucking what's up, Wondering? Good to see you.
01:12:37
Speaker
yeah This is the jetty na nudge what am i saying jetty this is the Johnny Bongs Network now. o and the money What?
01:12:50
Speaker
You know, I just want to thank everybody that supported me in my brief tenure as the head of the network. I just help out here sometimes, man. And now you went from helper to captain of the ship.
01:13:07
Speaker
don't know what I'm doing. You look like you're doing that scene from Talladega Nights where he like put his hands up. He's just like, I don't know what I'm doing. What's he doing with my hands?
01:13:21
Speaker
yeah You know what? I just had a great idea. What if I just change Haas? I'll just delete your character completely and just make a Peter Griffin and just rename it Haas.
01:13:35
Speaker
Yeah, see? When he wins. Yeah, you fucking bastards. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. Very, very important.
01:13:48
Speaker
What's she saying tonight? What's she saying tonight?
01:14:00
Speaker
Okay, I'll stop playing with you. You're muted all over again, buddy. So nothing you were saying was coming through at all.
01:14:08
Speaker
But it was really fun to watch. You hacked into my microphone. I did not. I didn't guy yeah I didn't even move. there's ily but I am not trying to push it. guy you i don't I don't deserve that half point.
01:14:26
Speaker
I'm just saying. i've been I'm trying to work on it. youre You got two and three quarter strikes now. God damn it. I didn't earn that other three quarters. What?
01:14:37
Speaker
See I don't know i heard that I need to check and see if I had a track phone flip phone somewhere ah no hot oh those was our all button sorry um I gotta to move my microphone a different position where I quit bumping it because then I have to give Rock his third strike and then you know what that means um You go to friendlies No, then I'm only exclusive to the nonsensical nonsense like a like it's been for the last almost 10 years. But it's it's all it's all good. It's business as usual. It's business as usual pretty much if if he bumps his microphone again.
01:15:15
Speaker
I get no respect. I get no respect. Just made some mashed pot of mashed potatoes, so I'm doing a mashed potato. Okay. I don't know. Okay. like no There are times where I want to ban commenters. This is one of those times I'm struggling here.
01:15:37
Speaker
ah je What? me where Where are you reading from? You're trying to decipher what that means, aren't you? hook Let's give them some time. Let's give them some time. It's okay.
01:15:50
Speaker
Okay.
01:15:54
Speaker
What about toes? See, Brock, you got to highlight the comments when you read them so we can all play along. I am highlighting. that wander You just highlighted that one after you read it. i I highlighted it before.
01:16:08
Speaker
Oh. I can't. I just. yeah ah This is what Shaman puts it up every Friday. He just fucking hates me. just matter What do you think?
01:16:21
Speaker
hey
01:16:25
Speaker
I have my button. It's literally called a shaman button. He needs to hop up here so I can it. I know. I texted him. I told him to get his ass over here. Like somebody's Batman.
01:16:38
Speaker
Jedi, let's hear about your week. I will go back and watch the show, but just tell us about your week. How does it feel to be two weeks free from your ban?
01:16:50
Speaker
Feels pretty good. I mean, still going to press charges because I don't think it was valid to begin with. But, you know, we persevered. So if I press charges for the three quarters of them that you just gave If you press charges, I'm pressing double charges on you.
01:17:07
Speaker
I'll press double charges. I will quadruple those charges, mister. I don't know what the fifth thing is, but I'll that. I don't either. that's where we're in. You can't triple stamp double stamp. You can't. Lloyd. Lloyd. You can't triple stamp with double stamp.
01:17:26
Speaker
Hurry up, Chris. I want my Baconator already. While he gave up, he left without his Baconator combo. So this is my chance. because we took all the hair that Ha shaved off we shoved it in his gullet so he couldn't talk anymore. And then he left.
01:17:39
Speaker
had the and How do you feel about that? It'll be alright. It'll be alright. What kind of shampoo do you use? Because that's what he's tasting right now.
01:17:52
Speaker
three
01:17:55
Speaker
You know, you're lucky I'm not over there. did is Sorry, I'm getting used to the tenses here. use Pantene. There you go. eat Breakfast of champions for your hair. You're lucky I'm not over there, Hoss. I would just be doing this the whole stream.
01:18:11
Speaker
You know what's funny? When I first started shaving my head, the first day I came downstairs after...
01:18:30
Speaker
No way. This is an interesting version of charades. I like this. I love this.
01:18:45
Speaker
oh Oh. Tell about it. Tell us about it. You're muted. Oh. um
01:19:03
Speaker
Thank you so much, Johnny and Haas. You guys played along that whole time, dude. I really hate all of you, and I'm ready now. Goodbye. No, Jedi, stay. Don't go. Oh, We enjoyed the story, Jedi. That was a great story, man. Come You got to tell it again, though, man.
01:19:29
Speaker
Look, we heard part of it, and then just are dicks, and I don't like any of you. Look, hands are up. Look, I swear, bro, my hands were up. I didn't do anything. This baby game's muting. Look, I'm telling you, he keeps doing it to himself. i i My hands have been up. I'm going to take another. You don't understand. Look, wandering. I'm going to take another quarter hit, and ain't even do anything. He keeps kicking his microphones.
01:19:56
Speaker
And I'm just not letting him know that he's kicking it, but that's that's about it. i I swear he's he's doing it to himself. and Take care. Thank you.
01:20:07
Speaker
I kept my hands up too, like on purpose, like this, like, hey, look, man, it's not me, buddy.
01:20:17
Speaker
Thanks for stopping by Wandering. I am interested in hearing the rest of the story, though, so Jedi, you need to like come back so that we can hear that. I'll even i'll even give you um i'll even give you like admin privileges since Glick's out. He's probably going to hate me for that, though.
01:20:37
Speaker
home That is the perfect way to get banned from this network, by the way, boys.
01:20:48
Speaker
that was That was hilarious. um I'm going to go ahead and clip that because he looks so into that story.
01:21:00
Speaker
Geez, man. Well, besides, since Jedi is starting a temper tantrum, Hoss, you are now in charge of the network. So there go. Congratulations, buddy.
01:21:13
Speaker
How do you feel about that, Hoss? You have the power. Wow. Wow. You demoted me while I was gone, too? Sometimes. Are you done with it? I swear I didn't do it. that's shiny and hot I had my hands up like this. don't have any other body parts. Fire up the old shredder and that's where your application for the lazy and shaman show went. I thought you said you didn't have it. Well, I found it and I shredded it.
01:21:40
Speaker
Can you please tell us the rest of the story before your whole microphone? don't even know where you decided to be a dick. I didn't do that. My hands are up. I swear, bro. Look, I'm leaving it right here. Can't review. i don't even know what I was saying.
01:21:52
Speaker
Johnny, what was he saying? ah The one guy with memory damage. I have no idea. I'm pretty sure you're talking about your hair getting cut, but...
01:22:11
Speaker
i'm pretty sure youre talk about your hair getting cut but Yeah. Oh, what what I was saying before you fucked me over again is i'm I'm checking my mic. I'm checking this mic. I'm checking all the goddamn mics, Rock.
01:22:23
Speaker
okay Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Go ahead. so The first day I shaved my head in my upstairs bathroom, walk downstairs. My older son didn't say a word to me. Just looked at me, went into the kitchen and I was in the living room sitting on the couch and He grabbed a piece of sliced cheese, frisbeed right onto my fucking forehead. thought That's a YouTube thing, apparently. I found out that day, and I was pissed for like five seconds, and then I watched like 30 videos.
01:22:51
Speaker
Is that like a thing? Apparently. i don't know what was at the time. That was a couple years ago. But he just frisbeed some cheese at me. It was funny as fuck after I got done being mad.
01:23:05
Speaker
Dude, i have never seen you're at 2.9 strikes, by the way rock. two point nine
01:23:15
Speaker
There's not even much wiggle room You can't fuck up again Please ah Please take the time and go subscribe To the stormman show Friday nights Really fantastic show better but One of the best shows I've seen in a long time I got a chance down to 2.75 And the best thing about the show Is after YouTube Because YouTube doesn't like any of us really mans us um Then he you can jump on to rumble and watch the unfiltered version of the show where we actually talk about real things Okay, Friday night life 2.5 down from 2.75 so you're doing great You're doing great work. I guess she's on both people, right?
01:24:03
Speaker
Yep, that's the thing. You just throw a little slab of fucking processed cheese at somebody's bald ass head. See? i think you would have thought about that before you shaved your head now, Hoss. I won't be, you know? Yep, everybody get your cheese ready when Hoss walks in the building.
01:24:18
Speaker
It won't stick because I'm not skin bald. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. got the little buzzy buzz going. Yeah, it's a buzz cut.
01:24:28
Speaker
I wanted to go skin bald, but... Okay, i don't know why that's funny. but he Right? i know. That's how I felt. was like, I don't know why that's funny, but it kind of is. It's different when it happens to you, though, when you're the one that should be in the video, but you're in real life having that happen.
01:24:48
Speaker
yeah
01:24:53
Speaker
don't know why that's so funny. Was I in the bottom right? I know. no I swear to God. I swear to God. Kato. Fuck off.
01:25:04
Speaker
Damn it. I am in the bottom. like
01:25:10
Speaker
Swear to God. Swear to God. if you if you If you watch my channel, you know what that means. Sweet Jesus.
01:25:22
Speaker
That's better. Thanks. Thanks, Hoss. Thanks for saving. I'm not going to say it because I'm at 2.5. I got earn some good. Yeah, you don't got a lot of wiggle room right now. See what you did?
01:25:33
Speaker
I got to earn some good morale, and then I'll like hit real hard where I'm still hit. You're on the right path to redemption the way you're going, so I appreciate that. Oh, Peter, that's nasty. Oh, my goodness.
01:25:45
Speaker
mom You know what? My wife's name's Loretta. Don't you see what I have to deal with? i mean, he's kind of killing it, though, Johnny Bungs. yeah you miss Yeah, I'm definitely picking you, Peter Griffin.
01:26:01
Speaker
Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza in the summertime. I mean, of all people here, Johnny Bong's is the one with the most sense.
01:26:16
Speaker
I'll just leave that up for Jedi. And I'm delirious right now. wait a minute i you know i Back up to 2.75 strikes. All I'm doing is hosting my show. up Is that what you're doing? I don't feel like any hosting is really going on.
01:26:33
Speaker
God damn it. 2.9 again. 2.9. What is that? Oh, shit. Oh, God. 2.95. Fuck. Right there, guys. You just did all your good work. two point nine five on right there guys you just did all your good work You know what? No one subscribed to the Lazy and Shaman show. Forget that. Oh, three. We got a three. Well, wait a minute. You got to subscribe to the OnlyFans instead so that you're actually giving money for watching them. Back to 2.95, okay? We were at critical fucking levels there for a minute.
01:27:12
Speaker
I don't know why you got worried about it, man. I i gonna start i almost stormed out. Again. almost stormed out. what is it they call What is that movie where it's like, I'm going to have a BF.
01:27:25
Speaker
What was that movie? You know what I'm talking about? I don't remember in the fucking movie when I know Bitch Fit when I see one. I'm going to have a BF right now if you guys don't stop.
01:27:35
Speaker
but So i have a proposition for you, Jedi. Uh-oh. Is it illegal? It is not a illegal. But it is cursed. No fun, boo. But it is cursed. It's it's very cursed. So I i need a photo mr shaman Well, that ain't happening.
01:28:05
Speaker
You got it. You got to send me one, man. I know. I was getting like yeah i can't. Why not, man? You know what he looks like. Just i just but I've never I've actually I don't even have a photo of him. I know what he looks like because I've seen him when we talk backstage sometimes, but I do not have a photo of him.
01:28:22
Speaker
OK, even if I did have one, I wouldn't send it because that would be just that would be strike three for me. Well, but if how am I supposed to be part of your network if I don't know who you guys really are? Well, you got to actually go through orientation and sign the paperwork, and then you can see Shaman. That's how it works.
01:28:41
Speaker
I just have to sign a paper to see Shaman? I mean, you have to go through orientation, too. What is orientation? Oh, you'll find out when you get there. See, you know what? Fuck the Lazy and Shaman show. Don't go watch it. 3.3 again. Critical Man. Go watch the OnlyFans instead because you can subscribe. 2.95. He brought it back down. He brought it back down.
01:29:09
Speaker
um Right before his bitch fit. Oh, did you? The volcano was about to blast. Down the back right at the last moment. oh You saved a lot of lives today. Whatever you do, don't blast your nice volcano.
01:29:27
Speaker
No, bro. No volcano. Things happen. Hey, he said he was just about to erupt and I stopped him. I feel like a hero. oh You are a hero.
01:29:41
Speaker
cause i was trying to see you john bill are You made it or up to begin with, so you undid your own damage. so i mean Are you a hero? I being to start ah think going to erupt at me. He's going to be like that rock dude from the boys.
01:29:57
Speaker
i'm just saying good <unk>s gonna be like that that rock dude from the boys Oh, God. Wait, Rockboy from The Boys? Why am I not catching that joke? there's there's a new There's a new character. Is it in the new season?
01:30:13
Speaker
yes and then i haven't watched a new season yet. don't No spoilers, Hoss. God damn it.
01:30:20
Speaker
Hoss, you got your first strike down. Can I give some of my points to Haas? No, they're not transferable. They're not transferable.
01:30:33
Speaker
What if I change my name to 420 Haas is the Great? Then you won't know. You won't know who you're talking to, really. oh you Nope, then you're both getting it.
01:30:43
Speaker
six i tried that once. I wasn't seen for a week. but So that's why you were gone for so long, Johnny. Wait, what did Johnny say? yeah I don't know remember what the basement looked like.
01:30:58
Speaker
ah God damn it, Jedi. Control your panel. I'm not in the driver's seat. There you go. there we go You guys need fucking behave. You need to fucking behave, okay? Yes.
01:31:17
Speaker
You don't want to be like fucking rock getting all them strikes, do you? I didn't think so. Oh, finally, Chris. All right, everybody put their orders in for Wendy's.
01:31:30
Speaker
Like a Big Mac and fries. that friends That's the wrong one, bro. ah Look, I'm sure if we pay extra, we can get them to make something similar to a Big Mac. Yeah.
01:31:42
Speaker
um it's kind of i I like your attitude, Johnny Bongs. He's got to pay the electric. You're getting everything you want. It's like, do you want my business or not? I want a Big Wendy's.
01:31:53
Speaker
sta I want the Big Wendy. I can give you 38 extra cents.
01:32:02
Speaker
Gonna just walk out on this and money, dude? and i hate I hate going to a fast food places with my pap. Every time we pull up to the drive-thru, he'll be like, yeah my grandson wants to know if you guys accept food stamps.
01:32:15
Speaker
but but What the fuck? he just does like Wait, do they? Do they, though? like They're like, no, sir.
01:32:26
Speaker
We don't do that. And then he hands him his card, and he's like, I'm just fucking with you.
01:32:33
Speaker
Then he has an EBT card. Like, they don't make stamps anymore. When you hand him a whole stack of them to the window, just be like, i these do you know how many letters you can know with this stack of stamps?
01:32:46
Speaker
Please jump on, Remy. I'll get control of your panel. Jedi is destroying our show. These people are out of control, Remy. I need your help. He's destroying our show. Help me help them.
01:32:58
Speaker
i didn't say I didn't say you. I was just saying. but We know who you're about. You didn't disguise it well. You didn't disguise it well. Why would you refer to yourself and the third person? Only dickheads do that. Because I'm a rock. Have you not heard? Oh, you are a
01:33:22
Speaker
That's kind of my job, man. Oh, man. Unbelievable. That's okay. The network will survive at least one night. You guys notice how much fun we have when Glick's not here?
01:33:35
Speaker
I could do the Glick right now, actually. me do the Glick. I'll see
01:33:43
Speaker
So guys, this is my show. i am the best and greatest of all time and the best podcast host. And I was born in the U.S. jungle. He's like Donald Glick.
01:33:57
Speaker
Donald Glick. like Like they had a love child. it's extreme Nobody's ever seen anything like it. No one's ever seen anything like my show. My show is one of the best podcast shows you've ever seen. and I am the greatest Sasquatchian that's ever roamed this earth.
01:34:17
Speaker
What?
01:34:23
Speaker
yeah I am the absolute best at how go seek. You only see me when I want you to ah What'd you say, Johnny? What's up, man? ah ah i guessed All reality has fallen apart at the seams.
01:34:35
Speaker
That's the show, man. That's how it goes. i nothing Honestly, I see. I think that. Oh, shit, man. I don't know how much points this thing is going to get me. soll oh yeah um Let me get my calculator out. We'll figure it out.
01:34:51
Speaker
How many points want. Okay, so just tell me as I'm talking and then I'll stop before I hit the the max. Okay. up as we go The Lazy and Shaman Show.
01:35:05
Speaker
0.5. Okay, That's a lot! I know. You should fucking be careful. youre No, wait, wait. I'll give you 0.45, okay? So that brings you up to 2.95 strikes, okay?
01:35:27
Speaker
So... ride lightly Okay, um well, as I say, the Laziest Shaman Show copies...
01:35:36
Speaker
can't see my pen because of my background. I can see it. I'm scared of it. I see it. but I see it just fine. There it is. I'm not fucking around. I got the pen ready. It copies, um it's like a modern day Mozart piece, really. it's a It's classic. it's It's beautiful to some people. yeah And that's kind of that's kind of like the show.
01:35:59
Speaker
um it's ah its it's It's wonky, crazy, and off the rails. But Johnny, we need all of that in our lives. And that's why you should subscribe to the Lazy and Shaman show. You're down to 2.75. But they do copy the nonsensical nonsense. about nonsense okay walk Okay, now you're back up to 2.95 again. Yes!
01:36:17
Speaker
I got it! You ended you started. yeah That's perfect. I got what I wanted to say I'm still teary. You played the system, okay? You played the system. you gave you know We're going to go do some rule changes and you're not going to get away with it again. You did this time. You snuck that one in, okay?
01:36:37
Speaker
Son of a bitch. oh Yes, yes, yes.
01:36:43
Speaker
Okay, wait, you know what? sound effect gets you to a 2.9. Fuck you, dude! The sound effect! Yep, you pick that sound effect. It went up 0.01. oh Gotcha, bitch!
01:36:58
Speaker
Okay, that's back to 2.95. That was funny. see Thank you. Thank you. see i Look, look, look. I introduced... My pen's gonna run out of ink with all the calculating I've been doing.
01:37:10
Speaker
The reason I even introduced the sound effects, by the way, was because of Jedi. You are the reason why. This started because of your show. You got a 2.9 now.
01:37:22
Speaker
Give me credit. Hey, Mandy, what's going on? Mandy! We need you, Mandy. Get up here. Yep. ASAP. Immediately. no time to waste. We need a host of the network, and then it's going to be you.
01:37:36
Speaker
Rocky, why is you did you assume that it was a me who ran everyone off? Exactly. Mandy, that's why we need you to bring everybody back. you right Johnny, say something, man.
01:37:48
Speaker
God damn it, didn't realize was muted. silently agreeing with me and Mandy. Say something, Johnny, to my defense, man. The whole I'm sitting here fucking yapping and i've been fucking muted.
01:38:04
Speaker
Yeah, see see, he does that to people. I didn't do that. he the press He tries to suppress free speech, okay, Johnny? Jedi, your battle is your own. I did it to myself.
01:38:15
Speaker
Nope, don't don't put that on you. That's not your blame, okay? That is definitely Rocky. Rocky did that to all of us, okay? We've all been suppressed.
01:38:28
Speaker
Man. It's a stick, man. Oh, man.
01:38:36
Speaker
Oh, you're back. He's just booming. He's to 2.95. I moved you to the top because that's all you are in my book is the very top. You're back to 2.9 now that you give Mandy her proper respect.
01:38:53
Speaker
Damn right. oh It's Mandy here. so I'm backing out. i did I hit the wrong button. What I meant to hit was this one. Now you're down to 2.85.
01:39:05
Speaker
yeah Moving in the right direction. Yeah, I figured James just burst into flames while I was gone. He did. Johnny and him are going, they were about to fight in real life. He took off his um what Yeah, Jenna, you missed it.
01:39:23
Speaker
I was making jokes about how white he was. Taking off his shirt. Oh, and he tried to say, oh, yeah, I'm the next Hulk Hogan, and I'm like, yeah, the Chalk Hogan. Yeah, I know. I was dying laughing at your child.
01:39:41
Speaker
I just, I full screened him and then just showed all the comments that she was roasting him with. which was why And everybody's on Johnny's side, man. Johnny is a fan favorite for this Wrestlemania.
01:39:54
Speaker
See, i when I tuned in, you were talking about those two wrestling, and I just said my money's on Johnny. Yeah. yeah you know um you want Although you did miss the comment, Rocky, about what I said my ah my ah wrestling name could be. um boy yeah I'd be the bitch from the SIP since I'm from Mississippi. Yeah. I can make you a theme song.
01:40:23
Speaker
Okay, so Mandy's got her own wrestling name. I came up with my own name. Shut up, Jedi. Fucking 2.99. Shit! The audacity. I didn't mute you.
01:40:33
Speaker
buck in two point nine nine good shit
01:40:43
Speaker
the audacity um didn' it mute you ah Yes, you did. That muting is bundled with booting me off the um damn screen. Okay. Okay. okay Understood. understood i was I misunderstood what that meant.
01:40:58
Speaker
So I got it now. We good, bro. Y'all say hi to hubby. hubby. You got to step over this way so they can see you.
01:41:11
Speaker
Oh, that's that's my competition. my competition. You tell them I'm coming for him Okay, Mandy. Baby, Jedi says he's coming for you because you're his competition. Tell him to look out because I'm going to hit him with the mayonnaise bomb.
01:41:32
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's my finishing move in wrestling. What are you saying?
01:41:40
Speaker
what do you say yeah he He said he wanted to know if Jedi was coming packing and if he was going to be able to get past the dogs. Oh, shit. I'm going to bring dog trees.
01:41:53
Speaker
Oh, Didn't that be your best friend? I didn't even know you had dogs. Thank you for disclosing your your defense. Well, there's one of the vicious dogs.
01:42:05
Speaker
Aw. Isn't that the rescue? Yes, that's the rescue. Okay. He's doing a lot, lot better. He's still skittish,
01:42:16
Speaker
yeah but he'll run around outside and he hit he found his bark about a week ago. know yeah on his part too you know what, Rock? Nobody asked you.
01:42:32
Speaker
Yeah, but it's more of a yep. so I'm used to little dogs barking.
01:42:39
Speaker
you say the I can't. i I can't. I'm i'm sorry'm sorry, You know I love you, Jedi. I dare you, Jedi. How many points is Johnny on Johnny has made so many jokes to you. he gets zero points. And I'm at 2.999. Oh, you've done so much worse. Quit trying to put this off on Johnny. okay You need to take responsibility for your own actions, not Johnny's.
01:43:07
Speaker
damn Damn. but Now boys, play don't make me have to use the teacher voice. Oh, that. Use that voice. Use that voice. Don't you spare us. Well, know, I am from the generation of spare the rod, spoil the child. i was just going to say that, Maddie. Oh, my God. Spare the rod.
01:43:40
Speaker
Jedi is totally good with you hitting them. It's not even a problem. As kids, we hated spankings and naps, and now we love them. Isn't that weird?
01:43:52
Speaker
So weird. I was actually talking to these, I did a, believe it or not, people actually listened to me, Jedi. I was doing a training, um and I was talking about how like when I was in school, they used to have the ruler, they spank your knuckles and in school. Oh, yeah.
01:44:08
Speaker
Yeah. you go catholic so No, no. They definite found a regular soul just that i did Yeah. yeah I mean, I know black don't crack, but how old are you?
01:44:21
Speaker
How old do you want me to be? You're at least 85. I'm nowhere near You're know that.
01:44:35
Speaker
yeah Well, we already know Mandy's 24. We're not talking about anybody in their 20s, so you're disqualified, Mandy. Oh, my God. I don't remember now. Oh, Jesus. Dick.
01:44:49
Speaker
i'm twenty four right now oh chi a dick Oh, you're still a baby. I've been at a high school longer than you've been alive. i think he still has his umbilical cord on his belly button. It's got to fall off soon. Now on if he hits puberty, everything will be perfect. And his hair will grow back.
01:45:13
Speaker
Why they keep attacking you, Haas? Ain't nobody attacking anybody. By the way, Haas, they were just at each other and now now they're tag teaming on you. Okay. If I don't pick on you, I don't like you. yeah If I give you shit, then if you know. Mandy, are you saying that like i I'm your best friends now, right?
01:45:40
Speaker
Hey, Johnny. Eat a bag of dicks, boy. Look how good of friends they are. Each other's bags of dicks. The only way Johnny Bong's is eating a bag of dicks is because they're gummy and hemp flavored. They do type of buddy to buy those for me.
01:46:05
Speaker
they do sell those he strikes me the type of bu to buy those for me
01:46:11
Speaker
Nice job, Jedi. If y'all get a chance, if y'all get a chance, because I'm not going to pull it up, but i had someone send me this. They had a homeless guy in Jackson who had fallen asleep next to a chain link fit, but he had his pocket pussy just above his head. You know what he could do was doing just before he fell asleep. Wait, just above his head?
01:46:40
Speaker
Uh-huh. Like he was laid out on the sidewalk and the pocket place was right here by his hand. okay I'm looking it up right now.
01:46:52
Speaker
You're going to get some weird search results. i but As Mike would say, I'm looking that up for research purposes. Oh, of course. None of us would ever look at porn intentionally. It's just research purposes. I would look at porn intentionally. It's auto-correct. It puts it in my search box. It's all completely different.
01:47:18
Speaker
I'm curious, as white as you are, Jedi, how do you tell the difference between the lotion and your hand? It's it's it's more intuition. You gotta know because you can't see the difference. What everyone gets there first.
01:47:32
Speaker
yeah whatever like I just go by feeling. Does it feel good or doesn't it? That is insane. He actually fell asleep like that, huh? Uh-huh. yes oh that is insane he actually fell asleep like that ah of Oh yeah, I had four or five. If he just had been using it, it makes sense. He just finished using that thing and knocked out right afterwards. Still dripping. He went night-night after that.
01:48:02
Speaker
ah That's insane. It's crazy how easy that was to find too. I know.
01:48:12
Speaker
Something as knitting like niche as that, I thought I would have like a hard time looking up, but no. First first thing to pop up yeah hey jedi yeah you know what i did the job couple a couple weeks ago ah you know probably shouldn't say that on youtube we'll get banned we were i was on his live at like late hours of the night and okay it's still getting dirty i had google translate up and i was learning like chinese and and i learned how to say johnny bongs in chinese
01:48:48
Speaker
It's not. I want to hear how that sounds. It's not. Okay, wait till you hear this bullshit. What is it? Chang-ni-bang. It's not. No, no, no. about that old hit.
01:49:04
Speaker
That seems a Chinese prostitute who does English. I think I saw that in a fortune cookie wrapper once. Yeah. I can't laugh at that, man. I i can't laugh at that.
01:49:17
Speaker
ah Oh, yeah. Your your wife is is what? Russian. No connection. no shit No, that doesn't... no Russia is Asian.
01:49:30
Speaker
Yeah, but she... No.
01:49:34
Speaker
But she can freaking drink the hell out of some vodka. I can say that. What? Good for her. I bet she has to to deal with you. you mute her all the time. I do in real life too.
01:49:47
Speaker
Slap her with some duct tape. Yeah, it doesn't work though. and shes she's She's good at muting me though. I will shut up so quick. scared Happy wife, happy life is not it's not even a joke. Yeah, and how do you make a Russian wife happy? That's that's like expert level. Lives know how to mute you without a mute button. No problem.
01:50:11
Speaker
i I know. Trust me. I'm aware. i actually took her... so She had a doctor's appointment recently and I took her in and I asked them to look at her ears because I was pretty sure that there was something wrong with her. They're like, yeah great she has great hearing. I was like, fucking A, dude. You can't act like that anymore. I have the doctors.
01:50:34
Speaker
The doctor told me you're fucking... We have that auto-tune.
01:50:41
Speaker
I want to get hearing aids just so I can use it to turn her off sometimes. so spo football But she won't let me live that down. She'll just make a bunch of signs. so It's a perfect match for me. She is never going and let me live it down.
01:50:58
Speaker
If your wife is like most wives, I bet she can shoot you a look and you will know the whole conversation playing in her head without her saying a word.
01:51:11
Speaker
Um, yeah, pretty much. I've gotten it wrong before, though. I've gotten it wrong before. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, man, I'll be downstairs. was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. i'll hear And it was the wrong message she was trying to send. i didn't realize her four-year-old was right there. So, you know, you live and you learn. What's up, Tony D?
01:51:31
Speaker
let's not oh
01:51:34
Speaker
Tony D! How you doing? What's going

Music and Outdoor Adventures

01:51:40
Speaker
on?
01:51:42
Speaker
You know what? Ann, Ann, there's everybody. Nils. Nils, get up here. Tony, get up here, man. I'll post the link because I can't figure out how to pin it with Glick being gone.
01:51:56
Speaker
quote ah hey rob Where did you hide Glick's body? It's too big to hide. I had to burn it. ah
01:52:09
Speaker
He's too big Sasquatch forest farmer
01:52:16
Speaker
so That's okay That is completely fine Tony I am okay with it I'm just very glad to see you I've been popping into your lives and stuff though man And seeing what you're up to Motherfucking sham squash.
01:52:30
Speaker
You're out and about and you chose to come into this live knowing how retarded we all are. I think he saw Mandy.
01:52:41
Speaker
Mandy, I think he saw that you were up and he had to stop by and say hi. oh Y'all, I am not that special. yeah
01:52:53
Speaker
Sure, but special sometimes, but yeah. I'm special but only in the brain. Oh, you know what? Jedi is gone so I can talk all the shit I want. This is great.
01:53:05
Speaker
yeah I can't be held liable. See, the point only works if he's here. just Jedi. is Iron Wolf! What's up? What's up?
01:53:21
Speaker
Good to see you, brother. Hmm. Exactly. She's been a huge reporter in the early years. That's right. oh how are you going to fucking comment but not be up on screen, Jedi? Fuck, dude. How do I go back up to 2.96? Man, up there last time when Mac died right in the middle of the stream. I was so pissed. person yeah What's going on, man?
01:53:50
Speaker
It's been busy day. Oh, shit. oh shit
01:53:57
Speaker
37 out of 45 dogwood trees today. Holy shit. Oh shit. my ah My cap came in, Nils. Oh, did it? Yeah, so I sent it back because they gave me the wrong size.
01:54:15
Speaker
They sent me a small and i got a big ass head. Yeah. but in a pumpkin He's in the pumpkin head society. Yeah, I am. Me too, bro. Me too.
01:54:26
Speaker
Anyway, I sent it. I sent it back like two weeks ago, and they read I just got it yesterday, and it's the same freaking hat. I swear it's the same one that I sent out.
01:54:38
Speaker
They just rerouted it back to me. So I sent it again today, this this afternoon. I dropped it off at UPS. to get my I'm just waiting to get my new hat so I can show you guys. I thought tonight was going to be the debut, too.
01:54:52
Speaker
Yes, man. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. It's yeah, it's rough out here. Honestly, i blame Jedi. Okay, that's 2.97. Why am I getting two points?
01:55:06
Speaker
I'm going to start giving you points, dude. No, no I can't get points. Yeah, you can't. You're out of control. 2.97, are we GPA in it? right Yeah, he's freaking giving me a score.
01:55:19
Speaker
Like, a score of how many times I roast him. That's not what friends do. You know that, Mandy, because we're like best friends. Mandy is my girlfriend. You leave her alone. We call the RLP, rock-fishing percentage. right but Rocky and I are besties now.
01:55:44
Speaker
Shouldn't him having the good sense to be my bestie give him a higher average? Okay, look. I'm right here. Tasting friends, so you're back. Thank God. Johnny Bongs? Johnny Bongs? Johnny Bongs? Wow. Wow.
01:56:00
Speaker
scoring so well i but both ways that i was heard okay johnny bongs wow wow a all yeah Don't worry for it, Haas. We'll see you here in a sec.
01:56:12
Speaker
Hop back on up. Alright, guys. I will be back in about an hour. I gotta to go pick my brother up for more. So I'll be back. you way box So Rock is back up to 2.98. Yeah, there you go, Jedi. Because Mandy's leaving? How's that my fault? Because you ran her off.
01:56:30
Speaker
You know what, Jedi? It's fucking bullshit. Thank you. It is bullshit. How's that by fault? Johnny bos is yelling at me because of rocks. That's 2.99. Let's see how far we can push this. Fuck the system, Jedi.
01:56:48
Speaker
Yeah, man, that show sucks, bro. The Rugrats, that's what I meant. What? The Rugrats do not? Okay, goddammit. 2.999.
01:56:59
Speaker
At 3, I leave. So you're at 2.99.
01:57:04
Speaker
The Rugrats do not suck. The new age Rugrats suck. Oh, that's true. Okay. I'll stand by that. You can ban me for that. and You're right. You're right. i didn't know you I didn't know they even made a new one, but I bet it sucks.
01:57:18
Speaker
Yeah, it sucks. You can't recreate it. Man, we were roasting Shaman bad last night. That's why he's so freaking tight in his heart.
01:57:31
Speaker
Because he has a big heart. That's what I meant. Yeah, he does. Tight in his chest because he's just having a heart attack from all the love. he Too much love his heart can't contain it all.
01:57:48
Speaker
ah Yeah, i missed the show last night. so i was That's why I was like, man, I want to hear about what I missed. Because I've been... I've been loyally watching the show for probably Loyally every Friday Been watching the show for probably two two months, three months Somewhere around there Okay, you're back down to 2.75 I get only that for as many shows of bullshit I've watched I mean, that's a big drop compared to where you're at. Okay. so i agreed usually general i one so is is one of my favorites on YouTube. It is. Nils has negative one point. Okay. Negative one point. Speaking of which, Gmail just gave me a notification about you, Jedi.
01:58:31
Speaker
Uh-oh. What'd they say? Whatever they say. It just something about the Lacey Chalmers show. Okay. Needs a new whip. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was our the name of our show last night. Shaman needs a new whip. Shaman's been car shopping for like three weeks now.
01:58:47
Speaker
I guess Gmail's fucking behind here. Yeah. yeah I just got that notification. What kind of car is he looking at? He's looking at trucks. okay We were giving him shit last night because he lives in Florida because he was like, I need four-wheel drive. I was like, no, you don't. You don't even get snow. you don't. You do not need four-wheel drive. Exactly. so That's part of why we were roasting him last night. I was like, why the fuck would you need four-wheel drive? Wasn't this bunch of alligators on the fucking road? You don't need it. ah
01:59:20
Speaker
do they Do they really have a shit ton of alligators out in Florida? I didn't see any oh yeah You're not supposed to put near any body water because you can get eaten. anybody yeah Well, there was, it was like five or six years. I don't know. I have no concept of time, but it was a long time ago. They had like, cause like right outside Disneyland, they have these big like ponds and some little toddler got eaten by a fucking alligator. snatched him right up and disappeared.
01:59:45
Speaker
No shit. or lasts day you're not sharing but Anybody water in Florida? Gators and crabs. What a combo. 86% the shit in the woods. You know what's even worse gators with crabs. They get extra cranky.
01:59:59
Speaker
couple of What did you say, Mills? I said 86% of the shit in the woods in Florida tries to kill you. Yeah. Oh, Gleck should have stayed there.
02:00:10
Speaker
That's why all the people there... That's where he belongs. Holy shit. with gear You're back to for that one. That was
02:00:23
Speaker
Just saying, I thought it was kind of weird to see a Sasquatch in Florida, but now I get it. It's the truth. I've been there twice. i went to jackson I've been to Jacksonville twice and never read anything about daters. um I've only been to Florida once. That was many years ago.
02:00:39
Speaker
Man, I'm going to start calling him Glick Dundee. Glick Dundee.
02:00:46
Speaker
Did you send him his mug? Because that's like become a reoccurring theme across all the shows this week. Was him talking about how he was supposed to get his mug. Or his horn. Sorry, that's what it was. His horn.
02:00:59
Speaker
Yeah, I've got an extra one I can send him.
02:01:04
Speaker
I've got a ring horn, too. That's a pretty badass mug, to be honest. I like it Yeah, this isn't my favorite horn to drink out of, but this one mug that I have... One, two, three, four more over there.
02:01:18
Speaker
Holy shit. But you have four more mugs? Oh, no. I've got this one. I've got a smaller one. Hold on. I'll have to get it We got to see. We got to see. Because I actually made this. i had pneumonia, and I was sick of being stuck in bed and inside the fucking house, and it was 20 degrees outside. So I went out, and I made this holder, or which looks like a drocker, which most people know is a long shift.
02:01:42
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's sick, dude. So it holds all my horns. Love it. So this one is the ram's horn.
02:01:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. That's cool. shit, what the hell is Anyways, oh, hold on. That was a granddaughter's Game Boy. That's cool.
02:02:07
Speaker
This is my favorite one. I like that. yeah Yeah, look at that. that the Did you do that yourself? with No, no, no. hu I ordered it that way.
02:02:20
Speaker
So, yeah, that's where my horns say. Nice. Okay, I'm to have to get a horn too now because that's cool as shit. I kind of want a horn. I want a horn. Where do you order them from? Where do you order them from?
02:02:34
Speaker
He doesn't order them. He goes out and hunts it and kills it. He carves it out. A little shot glass horn. I've got two of those.
02:02:45
Speaker
And then for L, this is cool. I drink beer, L, anything like that. My son got me this. The glass one. That's sick, dude. Yeah.
02:02:57
Speaker
Nice. Shit, now I've got to figure out how to put it back in there.
02:03:05
Speaker
So, yeah. So, I was just going to ask you how you hollow out horns, but it looks like you just ordered them all. They're naturally hollowed. Really?
02:03:17
Speaker
Yep. I was surprised you didn't know that. there's some ah There's different sites that have different good ones. Grimfrost has a good selection. Yeah.
02:03:28
Speaker
been back home in Sweden. vska
02:03:34
Speaker
So I can't even remember where i got this one at. And yes, Johnny, I'm drinking me tonight. so chair o And I just bowl The computer starts glitching out. oh no, it's a mess, man. this thing feel like likebook peru This thing's literally been rained on and still worked.
02:03:54
Speaker
o Let me see here real quick. You know what will really get under Glick's fur? be Thank you. Thank you, Jedi. I'm going to take one off for you now.
02:04:11
Speaker
so Now I have to wonder if he has like ah ah an actual pee-pee or one of those red rocket dog things. Oh, come on. you know Shit's red rocket. I had never contemplated that until now, and I wish I hadn't even got it. If you sent me a horn before he got one, I'm just saying, if you sent me a horn, or I bought one, even if I bought one before he got one, I'll just still say that you sent it to me.
02:04:41
Speaker
Oh man, that will just rub him all short. think that would solidify your place with the actual... feel like said, I went to the Dark Viking. you die viking this and The dude. He's that goddamn melatonin warrior. If you ever see Corral's family mead, dude, it's good. It's good shit.
02:05:02
Speaker
There's one in Georgia I really like called... You don't drink though. they like I used to. And this used to be my fucking favorite. Okay. That looks good, actually.
02:05:14
Speaker
Cross-family media, man. Hell yeah. It's an empty bottle. What looks good about it tonight? The label, I like its cool design.
02:05:25
Speaker
Got a whole fucking speech on the back about, you know. recording for that thing I showed up to a gathering in Pennsylvania once and um beautiful area and told him, I was like, you know, it's it' natural for me to drink 10, 15 liters of meat in one night.
02:05:42
Speaker
Easy. And there was people like, hell no, I get hammered off to three bottles. And of course, one bottle is a liter. was like, yes, that's nothing. And I was like, normally if I just don't like tonight, I'll drink three to six.
02:05:57
Speaker
Then they saw it. think I've only had mead once. I got to stock up on some mead one of these nights, Nils, and we just got to fucking shoot the shit drinking mead and see how much how far we can get before we pass out on stream. Mead and farm farm.
02:06:15
Speaker
um had and in a bonfire. oh how they are out searchched back in woodna Stop with the fucking smoke detector, Jedi. I see your lights going on. It's you. There's no way to stop it. Why are you blaming me, bro? Okay, that's okay you're down at two point five year two point yeah you It just went down to 1.79.
02:06:40
Speaker
Yeah, that's in honor of a shaman sitting here. God damn. you Oh, here we go. Those points like crazy, and now you're back in the red.
02:06:52
Speaker
I can't drink mead from anything, but I can't drink it from a glass. You know what's funny? is When the people do the smoke tech thing, like when you do it and then on other streams, people start doing that thing. And I don't notice it 90% the time.
02:07:06
Speaker
So I guess my ancestors might have been black. I'm an albino black. oh He's a bleached out homie.
02:07:17
Speaker
yeah please so
02:07:23
Speaker
Okay. Mills is negative two points now. He's so far ahead of you, Rocky. Why does he give it like five? Fucking eight, dude. I give up. gang up Giving up gets you 0.05 points. Oh my God. You're at now.
02:07:47
Speaker
Fuckin' dude. I have no idea what's happening. Just tell Jedi that he can't keep the war anymore.
02:07:59
Speaker
Jedi, stop it. You know what, why don't you be your own person and quit taking orders from other people?
02:08:07
Speaker
um remember what I told you tell you to stop. so I just said stop. LAUGHTER
02:08:17
Speaker
ah Oh, man. It was the easiest job at the time, man. That was my favorite job. F. Joe has negative point. Get soft in my bullshit. I commend you for it.
02:08:35
Speaker
Oh. trying kept going
02:08:41
Speaker
ah bucke Hey, F Joe, get up here. Hang out, bro. Come on. yeah I guarantee you by November, I'll have rock drinking from a damn horn, drinking mead from a horn, wearing a wolf hide.
02:08:54
Speaker
No, I'm gonna do it before rock okay i felt I felt that I was being because i We at Glick have talked about this So so I have wanted For the longest time the longest time To like explore the Viking lore The true Viking lore And go into all of its depths And you know and he was like, dude, you can't you can't do that That's like but's like other people Diving into the African gods And stuff and I was just like, dude, no, it's not I just want to learn about it He even AI generated like a photo of me as a Viking. And I was like, I don't know if this is like disrespectful or not. I'm just not going to use it.
02:09:31
Speaker
No. Is Glick talking from the third person in the chat? What did he say? He is. Look at that. What are you doing, Glick?
02:09:43
Speaker
yeah See, i it's good to see Glick. That is the Glickiest thing I've ever heard him say. It's so Glicky. Get up here, you goober. What are doing down here? Click, you're at a fucking concert right now.
02:10:01
Speaker
Oh, he's going to see. What did he say he was going to go see? He said he was going to see. Oh, no, it was... a Man, I forgot. Lady Gaga.
02:10:13
Speaker
Lady Gaga. He said he was going to go see. He's a Swifty, so he's probably at. No, it wasn't Taylor Swift. He said he got to give that one up for this one. um It's like the drag queen. um nobody Nobody wants to see Taylor Swift.
02:10:28
Speaker
and
02:10:32
Speaker
hush think Oh, oh um something Paul. Rude Paul. Randy Paul. Rude Paul. yeah yeah Yeah, he wants to go see Rude Paul. And he got special backstage. got backstage.
02:10:47
Speaker
ah he He bought knee pads just for when he gets backstage. Just for the show. Kayla went in support. No, it's ah there it is Thank you. It was ah Luke Combs. Nice.
02:10:58
Speaker
nice So, man, I just feel like that's going be a kick-ass show, dude. i was almost i was almost positive he wouldn't make his way in here, but of course he has to. He has to make his way. yeah He's in the bathroom right now. yeah He's chaperoning from the bathroom. This is a big thing.
02:11:17
Speaker
We go every September. They have a hell of a lineup this year. Really? Yeah. Dude, I want to find this Viking. Yep, here it is.
02:11:28
Speaker
up here it is I went through the lineup in the back chat.
02:11:33
Speaker
Oh, okay. You put it back there? um'm I'm getting ready to. Okay. Yeah, they have a bat they had a really good lineup last year, but this year is like every year gets better. And it's not that old. Bourbon and Bionna is not that old.
02:11:50
Speaker
But every year just keeps getting better and better and better.
02:11:56
Speaker
I'm trying to find that Viking photo. We made it so long ago when we were chatting, and we were both pretty drunk on the stream.
02:12:08
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Man, I was hammered last night. Yeah. I think it was like we left it up to the chat. Like every time the chat said something, we had to take a... But then it started to become blurry, and I didn't remember anybody saying anything.
02:12:26
Speaker
but we somehow got onto the topic of Vikings and I was like, dude, I i could totally be a cool Viking man. Maybe in a past life or something. o
02:12:38
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I could see it. I could see it. And that that's the thing, man, is there were middle Eastern Vikings from the Caliphate because they traded in some just ah kind of assimilated.
02:12:52
Speaker
um There were moors, not necessarily that were captured in raids ah that were traitors as well. A lot of people were like, there were no black Vikings. That's actually a lie. They have the evidence of it, especially in Sweden.
02:13:07
Speaker
o Yeah, you hear that? Glick at your Luke Combs concert. i took the bikings I can totally be a Viking if I chose to be one. That's right.
02:13:21
Speaker
that's right Daniel, what's going on, buddy? Happy Saturday. What's up? Cheers. Cheers to you. Hey, Daniel Berry.
02:13:34
Speaker
Yeah, see, I was trying to tell Glick that, but i couldn't I didn't have any proof. it's like I don't how much you i have any proof. I have to search it to know for sure. you know i don't want to just blurt out some crap.
02:13:47
Speaker
So there was an old trading town. it was actually one of the biggest trading towns. They traded everything from cloth to gems to furs to slaves. um And of course, the slaves came from everywhere, like present day Belarus, Ukraine, Russia, Germany, Poland, Dutch, ah British,
02:14:07
Speaker
um the Mediterranean. yeah So all over northern Africa, the Middle East, you know, places like the Greeks, Romans, and captured Roman soldiers.
02:14:20
Speaker
And ah so one of the, I guess, like one of the merchant stands, um they found a idol from one of the caliphates in present day Baghdad from one of the old Persian gods.
02:14:35
Speaker
Yeah. that was That was buried there, dropped in just time, kind of consumed it. So they think that, i mean, one, it it proved that there was trade within that area long before the Silk Road was established.
02:14:52
Speaker
And two, ah they believe that some from that caliphate actually assimilated and went on raids and stuff like that because they always had one merchant that stayed with those people and they would just deliver the goods and that one merchant kind of made good with everybody in that town um to be able to sell their wares and their merchandise.
02:15:12
Speaker
So that's how originally the trade had had begun in those areas. So everything that they taught about like world history at that time was completely wrong. a wrong yeah of cool I mean, look, dude, I freaking slay, man. I'm a freaking Viking king, man. thing I was like, that's sick as hell, dude. Got you know the crow in the background.
02:15:39
Speaker
I thought it was cool. If Park had an axe. Thank you. get if What's his name? um paul Paul Bunyan, right? Paul Bunyan? It's like Paul Bunyan, but like he's dressed like a Viking now. just at I thought it was sick. I was like, yeah, dude, that's sick, but I didn't want to use it. and I was like, I don't want to like offend anything, and I don't know enough about it to do anything to offend anybody about it, so I was like, I'd rather research first.
02:16:08
Speaker
That's fair. I mean, hell, you can't offend us. We literally conquered most of of Northern Europe at the time. the irish I know my ancestors enslaved the Irish. we it did this It started with, not to bore everybody, but it started with us going and and like marrying the daughters of the kings of Ireland to establish trade and trade points like Dublin, Ireland, literally their capital, was ah originally Viking trade settlement.
02:16:36
Speaker
Hmm.
02:16:39
Speaker
It was known in Old Norse as Dublin. And, yeah, we enslaved the frickin' Irish after that. um And that led to a lot of persecution against the Irish at the time until one of their kings actually revolted and pushed the Vikings out of Ireland.
02:17:00
Speaker
Man, you should have enslaved the Canadians. Yeah.
02:17:08
Speaker
the joking I'm joking by the way for everybody that is watching in Canada I'm joking I'm just trying to keep the spirit of flick alive here with if if you yeah if you're in Canada we're joking but it's it's a joke it's a joke and if you live in America you don't have to worry about you know enslaving Canadians because the UK is getting ready to do that so Oh, I said that out loud. o
02:17:44
Speaker
Oh, this is where he went to? ah Bourbon and Beyond? Yeah. Yeah, i'll posted the lineup, man. It's it's absolutely great. Jeez, man.
02:17:56
Speaker
They have five like five huge stages.
02:18:02
Speaker
It's a whole freaking event, man. That's a lot of bands. How are they all playing? if Wait, tell how does this event work? it's It's four days and they have five stages.
02:18:13
Speaker
So Hootie the Blowfish playing, Queens Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Mumford and Sons, Chris Ableton, Dave Matthews Band, Casey Musgraves, Foster the People,
02:18:24
Speaker
um ah Monsters and Men, Flaming Lips, Four Non-Blondes, Portugal the Man, are you coming out a left field Cheap Drake's going to be there. the fra yeah that's a great lineup.
02:18:42
Speaker
Yeah, Lindsey Sterling's going to be there. I'm super excited about that. Mally is going to be there. And for those that don't know, he's ah known as the um country reggae. He lives on a farm in Hawaii.
02:18:54
Speaker
So he's he's got some really good songs. Really good songs. But they kind of mix it up between... Some of the newer stuff to some of like the 90s and 80s stuff.
02:19:06
Speaker
um Better Than Ezra is going to be there. Plain White Tees, Jet. yeah and i haven't heard from the Plain White Tees on forever, dude. Uncle Lucius, Lisa Loeb.
02:19:18
Speaker
And there's a couple other small smaller bands. Joan Osborne is going to be there from the 60s. Poly Cole, Vertical Horizon.
02:19:27
Speaker
Howie Day, who else is there? Tonic, Cracker is going to be there. The Verve Pipe. Yeah, it's just a massive lineup, dude. Yeah, over four days and it's all day long. So basically you just go and you just drink bourbon and get hammered and just listen to these bands all day.
02:19:44
Speaker
And then the following weekend um is Larger Than Life, which is just like a huge metal rave fest. So up which I wanted to go, but I couldn't.
02:19:54
Speaker
oh Just because I spent like $1,200 at this event.
02:20:02
Speaker
In three days. Yeah. And ah you will come back with so much shit, man. Like they they pass out free merch everywhere.
02:20:13
Speaker
Maker's Mark. Jim Beam. Bullet. um What was that other one? God. 10 cup whiskey. They had a really cool setup.
02:20:25
Speaker
I definitely bet on doing like a show something like that, you know, um next year. Really, really honing in and doing stuff because I have been bored year over year, man. I'm trying to get out there. you i used to travel so much. It's been like maybe four years since I've really, truly, like I've left the state a ton, but like leaving on a trip and going and doing something fun.
02:20:47
Speaker
First place I'm stopping by is to see you, Johnny Bongs. Okay, don't you worry about fucking Haws, dude. I'm going to come and see you, dude. hey fuck yeah And of course, you know, Nils, I'm going to teach you how to build a fire. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I literally just i actually so i built ah i built a fire pit outside and the first thing I did was try to light the the wood on fire, but I had some really wet wood and I tried to light it light it up and I was like, oh man, i'm pulling the nails, dude. This fire keeps going. i gets so like What am I doing wrong? Man, was like, my man card went, like, I lost points on it that day because I've watched, I literally have a video of my wife starting a fire in the fucking rain out here. Wow. And I'm sitting there fighting with this thing, and I'm like, son of a bitch, and this wood is dry, it's not wet, you know, there's not that much moisture in the air.
02:21:50
Speaker
was like, why the hell isn't it lighting?
02:21:54
Speaker
odd Man, that pissed me off because i've never had that issue. I've always been able to light a fire. Anyway, snow, ice, hurricane, rain, it doesn't matter. yeah Yeah, dude, I like watching. There's this dude who's on YouTube, and he's like a survivalist. He'll drive out into like the coldest of places, and went like and then he'll build and set up camp and shit.
02:22:18
Speaker
I was always thinking that'd be really fun to do just for like a weekend or, you know, or a week, just go out and do something like this. And ah when I watch him, how he starts this fire, he's using the actual Flint. He's gathering, and all of this wood is frozen, and it is really cold. So he's getting a fire going and keeping it. So I then shut down my own bullshit claims of, oh, this is the reason why I can't light a fire. It's Daniel up in Alaska.
02:22:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, he's badass, man. eats some cool shit. He's like, yeah, tonight don't want to have filet mignon with cheddar cheese. Yeah, yeah, You know who I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he precooks it, puts it in fucking Ziploc bags, and then when he goes out, he just heats it up.
02:23:00
Speaker
Yeah. but i'm like that thick I used to watch him just to see what he was going to eat next. But every winter we have to have a good amount of snow on the ground and it's got to be super cold. Me and my son will go up and we'll build a bushcraft shelter and we will stay in it all night.
02:23:16
Speaker
That is sick, dude. Sometimes the whole weekend. in Yeah. People like, you're fucking crazy. It's 20 degrees. You don't feel it. Yeah, i mean, it's nice and warm. we'll take um We'll cut off pine branches or spruce branches. We'll lay it on the ground as an insulator.
02:23:31
Speaker
It'll keep you dry. We have very minimal stuff we take with us, and you will completely sleep great the entire night and never get cold. Yeah, it's the ah the out the outdoor boys. You seen that? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Yep.
02:23:46
Speaker
Johnny, have you seen that guy? for are yeah man Yeah, he even taught his son how to do it. Yeah. So one of the tricks that I like that he used, and not many people know about this, because like everybody in Appalachia, our way, knows how to make charcoal.
02:24:05
Speaker
Keep in the old secrets boxes. You actually take a knife and pop the tin from the other side, but not knock a hole through it. Yeah. plum And you can keep like strike anywhere matches in it because it keeps it dry and stuff like that. And you can use the top to strike your match.
02:24:18
Speaker
doesn't even matter if it's soaked. It'll still light. Anyhow. So, yeah, we were watching him and he took out heat.
02:24:28
Speaker
You know, the stuff you add in your car in the wintertime when it gets really cold. to take moisture out of the gasoline. Well, it's like 90% isopropyl alcohol and something else. And it burns completely clean. It's non-toxic when it burns because it's a vapor fuel. So it completely burns off and the vapors um are consumed. So, and it's like, yeah, he uses that for a heater when he heats his food.
02:24:50
Speaker
I'm like, man, not many people know that about that trick, but that's an old, ah what they call a mushing trick for the guys that run dog sleds.
02:25:02
Speaker
That is gnarly, dude. Shoot, dude. I'll watch this guy often and try to figure out how to do half of the shit that he's doing. Because he's he's not he's not using like the wood like me like me and you were. like I bought this wood or I picked up this wood, free wood pile or whatever here in town and brought it in. This wood is covered in ice and it's like negative 10 degrees and shit. And he's still starting a fire.
02:25:30
Speaker
And keeping it going like all night. Yeah. With like limited material. i was just like, dude, I try to be like him when grow up. So tomorrow I'm building two fences. I'm building a wattle fence. W-A-T-T-L-E. It's an old medieval fence, um which is great.
02:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, look that up. You'll love that shit. And then just building a ah normal rail fence. So I got a lot of trees to cut tomorrow.
02:25:57
Speaker
You should start logging it, dude. Let us see it. you could be like that That would actually be cool content. I might do that yet after you know I cut him down and stuff like that. and I've got my draw knife, which I can actually show you that on YouTube and not get a strike. so Because it's not a weapon. It's cool.
02:26:15
Speaker
But who knows what you do? This is a 10-inch curved draw knife. Mm-hmm. This is used to debark trees and stuff, and you can actually turn it the other way, and you can form the inside of like chairs. and That's how Jedi shaves his head.
02:26:34
Speaker
so yeah Exactly. Don't give away my secrets. Dude, that would be such a good shave. Are you kidding me? That would be too. I'm not even joking. I make them curved, so I got the curved one and just...
02:26:51
Speaker
I yanked out like it scalped.
02:26:55
Speaker
That's a shit. My first pelt is my own. And then Josh, I had to go buy a new one because I don't know where the other one went to. he yeah First time he saw this, he's like, damn, that's huge-ass pocket knife. but like now Just a saw.
02:27:16
Speaker
fucking you take it when we go there and You wouldn't believe how fast you can cut through a tree with that. No way, really? Yeah. I've always just started look at one. so very nice I have other like little bushcraft tools and stuff. there Most of them are up there.
02:27:38
Speaker
Sometimes you just got to get the...
02:27:44
Speaker
What the hell?
02:27:48
Speaker
don't who that is, but anyways. just got a text. don't know who the hell it was. It's probably like, get off my network, bro. You're making it cooler than I do.
02:28:01
Speaker
yeah Did I see you chatting on the Freya retreat? I'm like, who the hell is this? It's like, I'm not going any gatherings right now. Anyhow. um
02:28:14
Speaker
Yeah, we'll we'll take those out even when we go camping and stuff like that. So if you want to build like a lean-to real fast or whatever, we take the hammock up. That's the best part, of taking a hammock in the wintertime in zero-degree sleeping bag.
02:28:25
Speaker
That's collapsible. So we'll go hiking along the gorge and just stop, camp along the trail.
02:28:35
Speaker
You're going to have to take Jedi camping too. I need to take Glick. Glick's like, man, and I'm getting...
02:28:43
Speaker
yeah hungry good like plenty other there only two containers of Oh, hell yeah. That's that's what i was going to say. um If you want to, take that crock pot out there. Yes, take that thing out because I need to dump that.
02:28:57
Speaker
but No, that's the stew I made. oh that was Yeah. yeah do want to hand up the soon bro Yeah. Two weeks ago. it over on the other side of So that's what happened to Glick.
02:29:11
Speaker
He made Sasquatch stew. He made Sasquatch stew, man. So yeah, it's like a little youtube create what is it the YouTube content creators gathering we want to do And get everybody together and stuff. It's like, man, I would love to just get everybody out the woods. Here you go build gru in place money Goddamn right. That's the last place I want to be. Fuck the woods.
02:29:36
Speaker
Dude, that's why we congregated and built homes so we didn't have to be out in the fucking woods anymore. Oh, trust me. You sleep in the forest ti You have nothing to worry about. yeah Except for bears. and funnn You don't have to worry about that. That's what Glick is for, dude. We're fine.
02:29:53
Speaker
He's the bear regulator. We have um how regular ah you have wireless He just walks the perimeter rubbing his fucking Sasquatch around the trees and the bears. He's got his armpit rubbing up against the of the line. Actually, his armpit i would keep the people away, too.
02:30:11
Speaker
I'm down. i am all for it, Nils. I am so down. I'm ready to do it. My wife is a freaking, what is it? What's the right term? um She's a, ah she's by posh, the word. She's not, she wants to go glamping. I want to go camping. Does that make sense? Yeah, what do you think is glamping?
02:30:37
Speaker
I don't want to go glamping, dude. That ruins the whole experience that I'm trying to go is like getting an RV and going out having air conditioning. Yeah, I was going to say, that's what that's what camping is for a lot of the... I'll show you my camper. No, that's just an apartment in the woods. Fuck off. I'm sorry, man. i can't I can't do that. It's like, we tent camp or I'll just throw down a sleep next to the fire. I cannot justify spending $50,000 to be homeless for a weekend.
02:31:05
Speaker
It costs a lot of money to be homeless these days. yeah Especially in LA. I want the authentic experience. you Look here. I freaking found the the video. I was looking for it.
02:31:23
Speaker
This dude is like actually... i sleep better in the forest than I do in my own bed. Anybody in my family will tell you that. okay Just use a squirrel as a pillow.
02:31:38
Speaker
like Cool. Yeah, we'll soak it up. Real cool. Yeah, there he is. I've watched a lot of his clips. there's none Look at that. Look how, like, everything in there is like, it's he didn't haul out anything. he just bought a bunch of freaking frozen twigs. So he's got to make sure to put your flint and steel away.
02:31:58
Speaker
so easy to get out. I've got my mag stick upstairs. i've got a few of them, actually. my God. I can get one right now because the best part is corn crops are ceramic. This is ceramic pile.
02:32:09
Speaker
So you can set hot pots on it. You don't have to worry about it messing it up or nothing. Yeah, he's burning spruce.
02:32:18
Speaker
Everything's covered in ice and snow, so I put the firewood around the fire until it starts to catch. Then I put it out and stack it up next to the fire. Yep. Get it good and charred. Once it's charred, it'll burn.
02:32:31
Speaker
Crazy, man. What? Mm-hmm.
02:32:37
Speaker
That dude would be in views, too. Dude, he makes so much bank, dude. Yeah, he has to. Yeah, he has to. Okay, for that kind of money, I would definitely attempt that. Except for I'd be the opposite. i' show you how not to survive.
02:32:54
Speaker
This is how you're going to die. You do everything I do, you will perish in these woods. I promise. It will be a very short-lived series. would. Yeah, but my my family will benefit from the views that get after I'm
02:33:08
Speaker
isn no know You're not an outdoor kind of guy? I'm very indoorsy.
02:33:16
Speaker
What about you? why you think I'm so pale? Mr. Bongs. I fucking love going camping, man. ah Hell yeah. Here you go. here This is a nifty thing. I always keep this in my pack.
02:33:28
Speaker
and um you know I take the work and stuff like that. Johnny Bongs, I feel like if you got lost in the woods, we'd never find you again. I'd fucking live out there. I'd be like, well, fuck this. He'd have a whole fucking tribe of squirrels and rabbits just doing what he said. We've got a compass on the top. I can actually show you how to use a second-hand watch. Renew an infant food supply.
02:33:49
Speaker
i so Yeah, and then here's your flint and steel. Let me see if I can actually put a spark on this one. There
02:34:00
Speaker
and we go. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, yeah oo look at that. There you go
02:34:09
Speaker
go. Now we need the smoke detector beep. Yeah, beep. usually So, yeah. but So when you get the new ones, they'll they'll be but really... but that more Oh, there it is again. no What you saw is I scratched the top of it so you could actually get good smoke. I know.
02:34:30
Speaker
So, yeah, I probably got like eight of these things just around the house in my pack and I can't be kids. You just got them laying around. Why do you have a fire? Because you got to always be ready to start a fire.
02:34:41
Speaker
Well, I mean, especially like as far as I used to travel with my job, you never knew when when winter hits. And they already had the the one instance that made national news where the West Virginia Turnpike, people were trapped in their cars.
02:34:55
Speaker
Oh. You know, on the interstate. So there was locals that were on the TV for four wheelers and buggies and stuff like that. They're bringing them gasoline um and hot food and blankets and things like that so they could survive the entire day and that night.
02:35:12
Speaker
So you never know when ah a freak snowstorm is going to get hit and you might get trapped in your vehicle and it's like, hell, you don't want to stay in your vehicle because it turns into a damn refrigerator or a freezer in the wintertime. So it's like leave your vehicle.
02:35:25
Speaker
Go find a dry spot under underneath the conifer and you can camp there all night if you have the the correct equipment. And you can start a fire and stay warm until daylight. or Or I have an idea. You turn the car into a fire pit.
02:35:40
Speaker
That's right. He's like, look, look, look. No, no, Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Johnny is correct. That's what we do. So first you just take, oh, beauty you always carry one of the watering hoses for your garden and your truck.
02:35:57
Speaker
So then you start to like, you're going to siphon. I know you're really good at this. So you start to siphon. Whoa. You route in through the window and you make a little pile right near the engine bank. And you just take one those what of those things that that Wolf just showed us. You were at 2.75. You were doing so good. Now you're back up to 2.8.
02:36:24
Speaker
I should have been lower than that. I veto. I veto. No. no you should have been at three multiple times i was being generous with you it's fucking bullshit this system bullshit shit i tony buns you're gonna get you're gonna get him an extra have a point if you don't but you got she two point eight five two what do you and yeah you talk to your boy johnny you talk to your boy johnny Give me another. I got to start another scratch pad because that's how much. Give me another. I've been going and down all night, Odell. Sorry. you' You're good, man. You know you guys are always welcome here. I've told Jedi that a hundred times.
02:37:09
Speaker
Oh, I'm coming. I'm telling you right now. oh i'm coming and We would have so much fucking fun. Oh, my man. Yeah. yeah I mean, I've got a lot of good spots up there up on the hill just here on our property.
02:37:22
Speaker
Yeah. If I come one else, I'm going to have to bring my scratch pad I can keep track of fucking Rocky's points. oh i'm burning that's right that's right you're not gonna eat like ramen noodles and ham dude i mean we have potatoes steak good vegetables oh god damn it yeah you're gonna eat like the king
02:37:45
Speaker
as long as i get the match i'm gonna buy the mug before i come out there oh i know i'm gonna get one too and we're all gonna go cheers with one of them damn mugs Welcome back, Mandy.
02:37:56
Speaker
Road trip. That's right, dude. i' pick up everybody, dude. Okay, so you're down to 2.75 again because Mandy's back. Fuck you, dude. You know what? i got sound liking and you know what You just made the list!
02:38:12
Speaker
Mandy says, road trip. That's right, man. Let's load her up and let's go, man. I'm down for it. I love camping. Mandy, get back up on screen.
02:38:24
Speaker
I went camping um ah like two years ago. I think that was the last time I actually really went camping. And it was the best, dude. I went by myself and had the time of my life.
02:38:38
Speaker
Mandy! Tell your wife if she's worried about you know the non-glamping. I bought the wife a tent a few years ago. It's got three rooms to it. It's it's actually two rooms in the front porch. You can park our Volkswagen SUV inside of this thing. It's so huge.
02:38:54
Speaker
It's like 20-should be good. It's like, what about a tent? It is huge. I was like, I've never seen a tent with a front porch before. That's badass. And then we got another tent. My father bought us a tent for Yule this past year, Christmas.
02:39:08
Speaker
And yeah, it's a it's actually a hallway down here. so it's like, hell yeah, we got plenty of lodging. ruriffin Y'all come down hear the Mississippi. I got plenty of room. and miss us to cook yeah on the way many On my way,
02:39:29
Speaker
He's such a suck-up. you know like he's just He's just a suck-up, dude. i He's putting the number down. i already know what he's doing, but he's just a suck-up. I just had to say it and it uninterrupted.
02:39:44
Speaker
Now I'm going to take my punishment. No, Jedi, sweet. 2.9. I told him, I'm like, I will prepare for my punishment now. Damn right. Rocky, did you know why you get to three with Jedi?
02:40:04
Speaker
Why? Three. Oh, gotcha. yeah what's why What was that? Yep. That is so true. just It was a good joke and I should lose points for it.
02:40:20
Speaker
Okay, 2.95. I don't know what the joke was, but I'll take your word for it. 2.95.
02:40:26
Speaker
two point nine five I'm just going to catch you on the head, Jada. I say it's okay. You missed the joke. That's okay, Mandy. That's okay. I am going to do this road trip, so I'll make sure to try to route it where I can stop by and see everybody.
02:40:45
Speaker
oh that would be so much fun. Yeah, man. i'll I'll vlog it and everything, so we'll have some memories to look back on. Dude, the hubby smokes a meatloaf and cupcakes and then I take my mashed potatoes and do it on top so we do like a mashed potato it's no basically a meatloaf cupcake and they are so good I put a little bit of cheddar and bacon bits on top oh Damn it man. You're speaking my language.
02:41:20
Speaker
So when you come by, we'll feed you. oh I'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm leaving, Jedi. He is not fucking coming. I love what I do.
02:41:35
Speaker
like That's such a clever idea. Yeah, I'll even be nice and make y'all my from scratch. I'm toddler. Oh, my goodness.
02:41:46
Speaker
Yes. All right. i am signed up. and All right. Made from scratch, Peach Cobbler. Come on. Get out of here.

Personal Stories and Life Lessons

02:41:53
Speaker
Come on now. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the good thing about having grown up in Louisiana. As soon as you can recess, you start cooking.
02:42:04
Speaker
Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, I was, as soon as I could reach a stove, my mom told me to get a job. So. Okay, you're back down to 2.9 fast. He's a goddamn worker fan from the time he could reach the stove. Yeah, rocky Rocky had to walk uphill both ways with just newspaper for his shoes while he did his newspaper route. I did. I'm lying.
02:42:36
Speaker
rubb out ne um That's 100% true. I actually had a paper route for my first job, and I really wanted buy these shoes. Okay, you got a 2.94. Yeah. I thought that job i was super cool. The neighbors all knew me and shit.
02:42:55
Speaker
i said There was this bad dog oh that in my kid brain. Bad dog. It's like the movie Sandlot. That dog looks a monster. It was a chihuahua of all dogs. Chihuahua would chase the fuck out of me. You're back up to 2.95 for being scared of a chihuahua. It would chase the fuck out me. was like four or five years old trying to deliver in the newspaper. Chihuahuas are little Dude, I grew up on a farm we had roosters that would chase the fuck out of you. They were mean little fucking feathered assholes. See, chihuahuas are the roosters of the dog world. Yes, that's a good one. I really believe chihuahuas are the devil. They are.
02:43:37
Speaker
They're fucking awful. That chihuahua every morning without fail would chase me at least a block on my bike at full pedaling speed. I would skip houses from delivering the paper. We need more chihuahuas to do that. Then we wouldn't have so much child obesity. okay Okay.
02:43:55
Speaker
I was pedaling my ass off. I was so scared. Okay. But no, that was actually my first job and my second job. second job was I was a librarian, believe it or not.
02:44:09
Speaker
I got fired for laughing too loud. Did you have to fire yourself? I think we all had crappy first jobs, though. Huh? What did you say, Mandy?
02:44:22
Speaker
I said I think we all had crappy first jobs. Mine paid well, but I hated it. I worked in a snow cone stand. Every summer in high school.
02:44:34
Speaker
And you would think that would be a cool job. But. That shivery smell. It gets in your clothes. It gets in your hair. And no matter how many showers you take.
02:44:46
Speaker
You still. so Even if nobody else smells it. You still do. It's like stripper glitter. It's everywhere. oh Oh god. It's worse than stripper glitter. no yeah Actually that was my third job.
02:45:00
Speaker
yeah You were a stripper? Yeah. hu yeah Shut the hell up. Yeah, man. Okay, you're back there 2.75.
02:45:11
Speaker
Jedi, this joke is just for you, Jedi. Rocky being a stripper gives a whole new meaning to the Rocky Horror Show.
02:45:25
Speaker
Hey, shut I saw that shit, okay? My best friend made me watch that shit. So, no i all i did was deliver All I did was serve drinks, but I didn't actually dance or anything, but I did do it.
02:45:40
Speaker
Who knew that in the Nonsensical Network, we had our own magic mic?
02:45:47
Speaker
That would be Johnny Bongs, not me. That's how we met.
02:45:54
Speaker
we met i just It was a long time ago, man. It was. It was a long time ago. of course, you know, as short as Rocky and Jedi both are, they wouldn't need the stripper pole, just the stripper 26. Fuck you.
02:46:12
Speaker
God damn it. That's such a good joke. Damn it, Mandy.
02:46:20
Speaker
God dang it, man. I knew the short joke was coming. and has It comes every every time you're on panel, it has to come once. Hey, I'm just lucky that there's someone shorter than me on here. Hey, I had to be, I was really close to the stage, so people could really connect with me better. And I don't say that like I'm short. I'm actually 5'8", so it's not. I'm taller than you. What's going on? I'm
02:46:51
Speaker
5-11. Yes. I just, for some reason, my genetics was like, yeah, but you're not going to be six. So you're still short. That's not short, bro. You're like, well, okay. get the whole 5-11 thing. Thank you. you see what I'm saying? That's heard them all. I've heard all the jokes. Yeah.
02:47:16
Speaker
Johnny Bong, can you play me? I'm good. I'm just taking it all in, man. Johnny, you need to get control of your people. Rocky, you just figured out what I meant by the other inch, didn't you? already know where it was. already know where that other inch is at. There is no control in any of this.
02:47:35
Speaker
You didn't even try, Johnny. Come on. It's just controlled chaos. That's all it is. yeah i I can't try what I know with a losing cut today.
02:47:47
Speaker
I made the most money in my life being a freaking server at a strip club. It was fucking awesome. That's the dream. That's because drugs would give you money for anything. Dude, yeah, give them like two Coronas or something like that and they'll just tip you like 50 bucks. I was like, what the fuck? They're too busy looking the test. I don't even know how much this is. Just take it. Oh, you're serving Coronas. Yeah, I was actually a bartender for a while. So yeah, drugs will give you money for anything. And it's so funny because Y'all know me. I'm a smart ass, but I can sometimes veer from funny into mean. I would be being mean to them. What's up, Panda? Mandy, I've never seen you mean day in my life. What are you talking about?
02:48:36
Speaker
but but but Yeah, I've been mean. Good to see you. yeah get him Let me see it. Be mean to rock. Be mean to rock. I want to see how it looks. No, I can't be mean to rock. I'll give you an example of me being mean.
02:48:50
Speaker
This kid, drunk kid, was trying to hit on me. Little 21-year-old. I'm like, please, I have clothing older than you. Please go away.
02:49:02
Speaker
and I tried to be nice at first. But I'm like, Andy. Hang on. Hang on. I'm getting there. But he kept trying and I finally was getting enough and I'm like, look, kid, please go somewhere else and leave me alone. And he's like, oh, but baby, you just don't understand. I can rock your world. And I'm like, really? Think we can both fit in your crib?
02:49:27
Speaker
No.
02:49:30
Speaker
Wow, man. That was so funny. i I'm going to take a point off of you, Jedi, for that. That joke. That doesn't matter. but but What makes it even funnier is we were up by the stage and the band that was playing had just stopped singing and the mic picked up what I said.
02:49:50
Speaker
Oh, that's fucking wrong. Did everybody get to hear you roast him? Yeah, and the lady singer just clicked at him and he said, dude, you might as well go home. We all heard that. You may get none tonight.
02:50:04
Speaker
du It's bad enough being shut down, but for everybody in the voice to hear you get shut down? Oh, that's cool. That's awful. And the worker. He's probably still in therapy to this day over that. yeah him blow in that barn You don't get over that in one day, okay? That takes some time.
02:50:23
Speaker
Oh, no, she shut you down in front of everybody on a live mic. No, that's the kind of comment you got to go reinvent yourself, change your name. Yeah, probably. He probably had plastic surgery, legally changed the name. Runs network now. The Lazy Shaman Show. It was me, Mandy. It was me. Why didn't you shut me down all those years ago? Sometimes.
02:50:53
Speaker
Yep, that's right, man. wish I got the Michael Jackson thing so I can't have pigment in my skin. I got the Michael Jackson thing. No, no, I don't.
02:51:05
Speaker
Why do you think I can't hear the smoke detector beep? Because I'm ready. full the oh I make great money um doing that job, but i I did get my ass slapped often by 60, 70-year-old women that were came into that establishment. It was all girls. No, it was all girls, bro. I can tell you the name of the club, too, because they still have it open.
02:51:39
Speaker
Yeah, bro. Women are always more crude at the strip clubs than men. way more crude. That's what I heard. So my coworkers would tell me that, Andy. So you know it for to be true then.
02:51:50
Speaker
Because I heard, I was like, they're way, like, most people will think guys are the worst. But it's actually the girls are way worse. No, if if y'all could hear what my girlfriends and I say to each other about men, y'all would be like, damn. Yeah.
02:52:09
Speaker
is is Yeah, we we we get descriptive. We get descriptive. Oh, I'm serious. Yeah, we come up with nicknames.
02:52:24
Speaker
Like, if you're an asshole in the club, we will give you a nickname all night long. And then every time you pass by us, we give you a different backstory.
02:52:36
Speaker
is oh yeah. It's like a choose your own adventure book. You guys come up with a backstory for guys? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I will give you an example. We went for my 50th birthday and of course, two girls having a good time. You're only 24. How did you go out for a 50th birthday?
02:53:02
Speaker
And this guy kept walking by us and course, I had my little birthday banner thing on. He's just like... making jokes and I'm like, oh yeah, I get it. I'm old. This shouldn't be in the club. blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:53:15
Speaker
And he just kept walking by and it's like, honey, if you want some, please just say something. So we dubbed him Mr. What did we call him? We called him, like, we called him, uh, oh, yeah, I know what it was. Mr. Kent Closer.
02:53:36
Speaker
i say yeah wow. Oh, yeah. And we had all kinds for him, like, One was, yeah, he tried to be a real estate and obviously he can't close with an old woman like me, so he definitely couldn't close on a house.
02:53:58
Speaker
you know And then it was, yeah, he got in jail and he was everybody's bitch, so he forgot how to run games. I mean, we were mean about it.
02:54:10
Speaker
I would still say Jedi is meaner because I am at 2.999 right now. No, no, no, no. You're at 2.85. Well, hey, at least you're a C average, so that's good. No. Wait, I try to be better than a C average. I'm trying to be this a K. The scoring system is like golf. You want the lowest score. Three is the highest score, and he's at 2.85, so he's almost maxed out in a bad way.
02:54:41
Speaker
I can't explain it, Mandy. It's just something that's happened. And we can't get away from it now because his points are missed. Again, I am so, so spent on this guy, Mandy. Look, look, look, look. He's writing. Stop writing! I see you! Stop writing! 2.95, dickhead.
02:55:04
Speaker
Help me, Maggie. You were the one that wanted to play in that line, so you must suffer the consequences. Thank you, Maggie. if I give you a private dance, Jedi? That will put you over three and I'm rage-winning. Oh, God.
02:55:19
Speaker
it's
02:55:27
Speaker
yeah someone say um je i acrossed my chest just for everybody um I've never seen anybody go to four points before, but this could be.
02:55:41
Speaker
yeah
02:55:44
Speaker
I didn't even know four points was a fucking possibility until right now. What happened but Thank you. That's all I'm trying to say is what had happened was. Oh, I was going to about this tonight either way. Y'all, my nephew,
02:56:02
Speaker
Game the best relationship advice I've ever heard. Nine years old, he's already figured out his game. He said, you for every Adam, there's an Eve. And for every Eve, there's an Adam.
02:56:16
Speaker
And if you can't get either one, then maybe you're the snake. ah oh I know is that not for a nine year old oh my god whatever company he starts are investing in immediately because that's great oh yeah I was impressed I'm like seriously nu but but I had an interesting oh no go ahead Mandy
02:56:49
Speaker
No, i was just going to say, his brother is just as much of a smart ass. You know how you have, like, the your mama contest? They were having one at school, and one of his friends was like, you know, I'm immune to your mama jokes because I got two dads.
02:57:06
Speaker
My nephew looked at this boy and said, your mama is so ugly, your daddy had to get a husband. Laughter
02:57:17
Speaker
That is a mic drop moment right there. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. And I got blamed for that. For good reason, I bet. I would blame you, Mandy. I blame you, too. 100% believe that. You know why I would blame you, Mandy? Because you laughed. I guarantee you when he said that, oh because of that, you're at fault too. Well, okay Anytime with you, he's picking up on that type of sarcasm. He's going to, he's going to be dishing it out. You can't just absorb that and not dish it out.
02:57:51
Speaker
Oh yeah, I get blamed for it all the time. Anytime one of my naces are in there, if you have a smart ass, it's my fault.
02:58:02
Speaker
That's hilarious. I got my wife this week but with this photo. he me oh I told her that I got pulled over and that I was going to prison and she believed this photo.
02:58:17
Speaker
i I still believe it. You know, the look on your face rock says you would do it again.
02:58:27
Speaker
you know the look on your face rock says you would do it again Yeah, exactly. He has no remorse there. shot Johnny, he threw my script, man. You know I would, bro.
02:58:41
Speaker
She was so worried. I felt bad. So, like you know when a joke goes too far? like i was like, okay, first of all, why would I be posing... for a photo like this if I was actually going to jail. like he was like you know i This doesn't seem like anything. don't know. but By the way, all the white cops look like the exact same person. is Are all the white cops the same dude? ah No, I just asked them to generate it. and No, they are all different.
02:59:11
Speaker
No, they look the same to All the white people look the same to me. my god, they do. That's the same dude. Attack of the clones, man. here That looks like what would be his his arrest picture if he knocked over the dollar tree.
02:59:30
Speaker
and i mean, it looks like you crashed somebody's family reunion because they're all the same person. They all have the same genetics. it was a It was a long conversation. yeah server that yeah Alabama Police Academy. gift what you sorry enough to yell at you and russian ah She does. so Oh, man, she has this phrase. I still don't know what the fuck it means, but I can only assume that it's all. But you know you're in trouble when you hear it. Yeah. So, I was like, man, I don't fucking know what that is, but going to go to timeout now.
03:00:04
Speaker
yeah but myself out Don't worry. don't get I don't know what that is, but I'm sorry, baby, and I'm bringing flowers. I'm bringing you flowers home. son Whatever it is.
03:00:15
Speaker
One time she said it, she was talking about one of the kiddos, and I just heard it and just immediately trauma reacted. of I'm going to go get some flowers. I'll be back.
03:00:28
Speaker
Rocky went, yes, ma'am, I'm sorry. man I'm going go get it. I'm a trained dog. I know. i I'm trained.
03:00:37
Speaker
It's easier that way. I'm like Jedi, dude. He's not trained at all. He just comes on our network and pisses all over the fucking walls. trained at home, so I have to act out on your network.
03:00:48
Speaker
That's fucking crazy. Puppy pads, Rocky. did. Look, his puppy pads is me muting him.
03:01:02
Speaker
So he'll be ready to say something? You're at 2.97. Why? Why? why Because you muted me. now i If I muted you, then how would you be talking right now?
03:01:13
Speaker
Because I saw the mute button turn on and turn off. Okay. Don't lie to me. or You get another.01 point. oh one point I don't want to go to four points. I'm good. I'll pass. You're not even at three yet. Three is when I rage quit. Three is when I rage quit.
03:01:26
Speaker
Look, Johnny is trying to say something. Okay? Just listen to that. The point system is bullshit. Yeah, it is bullshit. Johnny, you know what? This doesn't involve you, okay?
03:01:38
Speaker
I am curious. Why is Rocky the only one on the system? on the point system? Because you're Mandy. he He needs to be held accountable. No, where the fuck are Mandy's points, damn it?
03:01:55
Speaker
She has negative two points, that which is good. yeah Everything that you say is funny, Mandy. That's the reason why you get away with it. I have to become funnier if I hope to be in your caliber. well You know my need to stop um muting me, kicking me off stream, being mean. Not going to happen.
03:02:17
Speaker
rocky 2.99. Okay, okay. I know it's serious. One point away from me rage quitting forever. Don't rage quit. Do it again.
03:02:31
Speaker
Do it again. Johnny is telling me to do it. Johnny doesn't want me here either, okay? Actually, I just got a better idea. What are you doing?
03:02:47
Speaker
I don't like your better ideas.
03:02:58
Speaker
away from me, Rage, quitting forever. yeah
03:03:03
Speaker
Johnny Bongs, I didn't know you'd be against me like this. It hurts my heart. You know what? At this point, I just take whatever side's at the advantage. You have disadvantage. He's at.01.
03:03:15
Speaker
0.01 away from being that's the disadvantage yeah you this i know can i transfer some of my points to mandy because she's at there no no man mandy doesn't get points to be you know what you're right you're right you're right i just like to create chaos on both sides that's why you you're doing a great job that's exactly your specialty i one side doing good and i check out the other you know Damn it, Johnny Bongs. I wish I didn't love you so much so that I could be mad at you.
03:03:47
Speaker
What the hell, dude? He used to talk about me that way, by the way. I went on a show once, and now and now I'm targeted. So, like, what about your car's extended warranty? yeah You know, I would like to hear more about that. Do I get one?
03:04:02
Speaker
How much does it cost me, Johnny Bongs? You know, that might be what this conversation's about. Who knows? and think I mean, I'm really interested. If you can sell me one, I'm open ears.
03:04:12
Speaker
You might get a you know surprise motherfucker. at Oh my. i made law enforcement sexy again. made... You know what? That's perfect though because we're all ah that's all the points you're getting based on me arresting you for being...
03:04:32
Speaker
That's lot of these volumes in a silent crew. I just had the little image of Jedi with some pink fuzzy handcuffs. What'd you say? Jedi with what?
03:04:44
Speaker
Jedi as a police officer with some pink fuzzy handcuffs. but I saved those for you. Mandy, I saved the pink furry ones for you, okay?
03:04:56
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no, no. The purple ones. Mandy doesn't do pink. Okay, okay. Whatever you want, my queen. What the hell should I? Dude, you're arresting me. You put me in the handcuffs. You get the pink furry ones because they're too good they're not good enough for Mandy, okay? So you get the pink furry ones. I mean, I bought a year's supply. I got to use them somewhere. God damn it. A year's supply of pink.
03:05:26
Speaker
Okay, exactly how do you... What the fuck is that one? I don't know. That's what Costco does. They just buy them. You just buy them. I'm so tired of going to Costco. I don't even have a Costco in my area. Jedi, you don't have a Costco near you?
03:05:54
Speaker
awkward jedi you don't have a costco near you No, no, just Sam's Club. Oh, we just got a Costco. Yeah, we just got a Costco here like a year ago. I've heard Costco's way better than Sam's Club, but I don't know. and urban one In some things it is, yeah.
03:06:18
Speaker
Johnny Bongs, how many pairs of pink furry handcuffs do you have? Nope. What the hell? Why would the handcuffs be hanging out of your pocket? You have to count out your damn self, won't you, Jedi?
03:06:30
Speaker
full but what's what what what what You look so serious in that photo, too. but I am very serious when I arrest people. Especially when there's 30 of me arresting somebody.
03:06:47
Speaker
All 30 of us are very serious. It's like the Matrix.
03:06:55
Speaker
yeah that They should have cast you for for that guy. let I would have, but I'm too white. with food Way too white for that shit.
03:07:05
Speaker
Sometimes. I mean, I'm albino. I can't hear smoke. I think I'm black, but... orange two Your keyboard is so loud. Are you typing in the code to life?
03:07:19
Speaker
I am. absolutely Mines? It's a mechanical board. It isn't a quiet board. Yeah, I know that. Mechanical.
03:07:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's spring-loaded instead of like set down. It's not organic. It is organic. That's the way they should be. organic You ever had a typewriter?
03:07:42
Speaker
You're getting microplastics in your fingers every time you touch the keys. All right. I'm tired of it. You're at 2.99. means nothing me.
03:07:56
Speaker
that means nothing to me Alright fellas, I'm feeling rough again so I think I'm gonna take my medicine and lay down. Okay, can just say something awful say say one thing awful about Jedi before you go. Okay, you're at 2.9. Just three. give me the three.
03:08:16
Speaker
not ready to leave yet. You know why he wears the hat every single time, right? Why? Because if he didn't, he would just look like a giant penis on the screen.
03:08:30
Speaker
I don't want to get the channel banned from YouTube, okay? That's being effective. That's against their terms of service. You can't show penises on YouTube. You've never thanked me once for wearing my hat.
03:08:51
Speaker
i Thank you, Jedi, for wearing your hat. Can you wear a mask? it That was funny. Okay, thank you. Thank you for having me. See you later. Bye, Mandy.
03:09:09
Speaker
At least you acknowledged it was a good joke. It was a good joke. yeah a good joke So you went from 2.95 to 2.9. So you're in the right direction. Okay, cool. I'll just keep making them funny and then you will not be able to help it, but just keep lowering me down. Especially with Mr. Bongs in my corner, right? See, what you're going to do is tell him and his daily system to fuck right off.
03:09:34
Speaker
Is that what I should do? That's not helping. is a knock again You're going to get him back up to 2.95. Let's do it. You know what? I'm going to address um um gonna trust him on this one. Give me a five.
03:09:49
Speaker
You're requesting. after you're done, put
03:09:58
Speaker
You know what? At a three, I rage quit, and it doesn't matter what happens after that for me. Fucking Adidas. You know what, Johnny Bongs? didn't do anything! You need to fucking button it up, Johnny Bongs.
03:10:11
Speaker
That was a great joke, Jedi. That was a great joke, Jedi. One of the best jokes I've ever had. didn't even make a joke, but the fact that you appreciate a joke, I didn't even make. 2.9. You're going right there. Oh, motherfucker. Now you're back up to 2.95. I didn't say anything! can anchor around your neck, okay?
03:10:31
Speaker
but i Oh, that's fine. I'll take i'll take that. you lot I really like this game. I like to keep playing. You weren't even supposed to be a fucking player in the game. Just a one-player game. um Look what happened.
03:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, you ruined everything. He made himself a character on the show. He did. just fucking inserted himself into the situation unnecessarily. And here we are. ah Look, at have a hard time inserting myself anywhere, okay?
03:11:09
Speaker
What? I don't have a hard time inserting myself.
03:11:15
Speaker
Not Jedha. I insert myself when I have a hard time. You get what I mean?
03:11:24
Speaker
Never mind. Oh, man, that actually looks cool. i was trying to make something kind of curse, and it actually did something cool for you. You're trying to talk some shit about me and your little fucking graphic design shit?
03:11:35
Speaker
I was trying. was trying. You need to focus hosting and not talking shit, okay? i Look, I was trying to make something like that, but it actually looks dope. Dude, that's the only thing I've ever looked in my life. Are you kidding me? Okay, you're down to 2.75 after that. okay she is yeah yourself I made you look the coolest you've ever looked in your entire life, and I lost.2. I mean, you better tell me my address.
03:12:04
Speaker
Okay, you know what? you know what you're right You're right. That wasn't a fair judgment. You're down to 2.5. That's a whole half point almost. There we go. 2.5. You got leeway to be a dickhead now.
03:12:15
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to i'm goingnna save it. You're going to ruin it right away? I don't want to ruin it. I would if I were you. I've been working this whole stream, man, just to be where I'm at.
03:12:30
Speaker
Fucking A, dude. It's so hard. It's so easy to go up. So easy. like I did that in like five minutes. I've been working for almost three hours to go back to... You know, you know and that's an important life lesson, okay? It's so easy to make the money, but then the government takes it all, and then you buy one nice thing for yourself, and you're already in the red, okay? Yep.
03:12:51
Speaker
This is just a life lesson. Johnny Boggs, I hope you're paying attention since you inserted yourself in this game. I got one life lesson out it. You're creating more work, Jared. I didn't even know this game existed until this stream, but I really like Normally my game was always just to tell people, get your panel under control.
03:13:09
Speaker
And then they're like, oh no you know but now this is more this is more fucking satisfying. It's giving people voices. You know, the funny thing is it started off as strikes, which is usually three strikes. Now it's a point system. This game has evolved so much.
03:13:23
Speaker
This went from fucking cockroaches to like humans evolution wise in one stream. So we're making progress. Yeah. who i music I'm so happy to be your your guinea pig, dude. I believe he just called it cockroaches.
03:13:39
Speaker
He just called me a cockroach. That's another point for him. he's at a Your point system doesn't matter, so that's fine. but At the end of the year, I'm going to show who's in the lead and who's not.
03:13:53
Speaker
Not going to matter. My scoreboard matters. What the dude? What is Shaman at? He got you banned. excuse thanks I mean, I think it was a joint effort. Dude, it keeps making you look cool, Show me. You might lose some more points. Come on. Let's go.
03:14:17
Speaker
let me see it. And by the way, send them to me. Send me the cool ones.
03:14:24
Speaker
If my wife ever leaves me, I can put him on my dating profile. Oh, fuck, yeah. Dude, I look like i look leg right before I turned into an... God. 2.25. is the lowest you've been for most the stream.
03:14:39
Speaker
yeah You're about to get sponsored by Monsters. Right? That's That's actually true. Oh, shit.
03:14:52
Speaker
ah it's and God damn it, dude. I said make him wrestler. Make him a cursed wrestler. Make it funny.
03:15:04
Speaker
That's not funny. That's cool. Yeah. Like I said, if I was single and dating, i would put that on my dating profile. That'd be my picture. Hey, ladies, check out what you can get. Oh, my God.
03:15:23
Speaker
Let's see if it listens to me this time. I'll try to generate something else. How can we get images like this generated? No problem. Okay, for you to show me that, you have from 2.5 back up to 2.3. So it's not a huge increase, but it's still not in the right direction. Okay, back to...
03:15:43
Speaker
That is one of my golden moments right there. Come on now. It is. It is sick, dude. I've been asking Glick to send that to me. I can't download it at a Steam yard. I've been asking for the longest time. Can you send me that? I want that on a t-shirt. Pretty legit. Pretty legit. That one and this one I want on a t-shirt. oh this one too. That's just for you, sir. I ain't seen Modog in a goddamn minute. What's the word of that bottle?
03:16:12
Speaker
don't think he was here last week. What are you doing? Maybe he was. I don't know. I had a long week, so maybe he was, and I just don't remember.
03:16:24
Speaker
It says that we can't create your image as it violates our... so Wait, who are you trying to violate? I'm not trying to violate anyone. I was trying to generate a photo of and it says the photo was trying to generate violates their guidelines. How bad was it? Jesus Christ, Rocky. I keep making you look cool. I have to be descriptive. how what What did you type in?
03:16:50
Speaker
What did you type in? I actually don't remember. I'm already sorry. Oh, both. Okay. For that, I'm putting now going you going to 2.55. Okay. I know it's something horrendous. If it violated some guidelines, it was horrendous, and you get.05 point for that.
03:17:10
Speaker
oh you can't That's like an unfair pointing. so like This system is flawed, bro. No, it's so accurate. Wait a minute. The system.
03:17:21
Speaker
Wait a minute. Your point system only matters as much as I think or care that it matters. No, it's pretty as a matter important. It doesn't matter anymore. It's going to affect your credit score.
03:17:32
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Now I really don't care. I
03:17:40
Speaker
thought I could care. I thought there was no way I could care less. And then you just... I was like, well, I'm fucked there anyway, bro.
03:17:56
Speaker
oh Shit, I don't care now. For real. You know what? if If your score goes above three points, then you're getting a homeowners association in your neighborhood and you have to do everything they say. Okay. That's pretty scary. I don't care. I already have one.
03:18:12
Speaker
You have a homo. I already have one. I don't care. God bless your soul. Okay, you know what? you're I'm dropping you down to a two even. i You didn't tell me that. That changes everything. I've gotten notices for my trash bins being in view. I got a notice because my snow shovels were left out outside. You just dropped a full. That's over half a point you just dropped. said I was like two and a half inches over the line of the sidewalk.
03:18:42
Speaker
What'd you do to this trash bag? Fuck off. It's like, how did, how do you know it was two and a half inches? Did you use your husband's dick to measure? What? that's that they was there are They already got me on a point system. So now I'm ah you used the poison well, I just dropped you 0.55.
03:19:02
Speaker
point five five So you're at two. e Now you got some leeway to be a dickhead. All right, Johnny, let them have it. Say Johnny.
03:19:12
Speaker
You know what, Jedi? I'm starting to see your reflection off your own screen over there, bud.
03:19:19
Speaker
I think it's your screen you're looking at, but go on You're just... I don't know. Somebody turned on the sun. Turned
03:19:38
Speaker
fuck is that possible, Jedi? none Everything's possible in my world, Johnny. Oh,
03:19:47
Speaker
oh but it goes against the laws of nature. Dude, what is up with this freaking thing? like Does it have like a personal vendetta like against me? yeah Why is it making you look so cool?
03:19:58
Speaker
I mean, AI knows better than to fuck with me. This is a nonsensical nonsense. Why is it doing this? Oh my god, send that to me. I love that.
03:20:10
Speaker
okay you're down to 1.5 that's amazing what the dude do you want to have him like falling down a staircase oh seriously rock send me that send me that please
03:20:25
Speaker
Just when I thought you made me cooler than I ever looked, you made me even cooler than I've ever looked again in the same fucking night. I did not. God damn it. Flipped victory. I've been working all night. love AI views me.
03:20:39
Speaker
AI just gets me. I'm not going to show you going down a staircase. Shut up, Johnny.
03:20:49
Speaker
I wonder if it's actually going to do that. I typed in what you said, by the way. If it shows him like beating up stairs and destroying shit, I'm going to be mad. I i am the motherfucking stair master. Just like Johnny Bong's the road. Going down a staircase, not going down on a staircase.
03:21:05
Speaker
but i'd be good I'd be good at either one of them. Going down a staircase, going down on a staircase. I'll do it all. Bro, that look look, Johnny. So now you you'll get my point. I'm going to upload it here.
03:21:17
Speaker
Okay, let me see it. Download. it's It's not I said exactly what you said, okay, I did exactly what you said and this is what it decided to so shit generate like Oh my god, send me that one too What's it look so cool but No, I'm gonna get an adidas sponsorship if you keep that shit up. That is amazing I look like it could be a Marvel movie the All I did I can show you my screen I said Please show him falling down the stairs. Hilarious. You need to send them to me. Why aren't you sending them to me? I need that.
03:21:55
Speaker
God damn it. God, the annoyed that it's not making you look. Did I get RKO'd? You
03:22:05
Speaker
yeah know, Johnny Muggs, I don't really like that you're against me so much tonight. just putting I told you, man. It could be whoever's doing better. I've been doing better all night. you your point my but you want You want to be on the underdog side. I get that. Yes, sometimes.
03:22:22
Speaker
I'm definitely the underdog in this situation. i am swinging and missing like crazy. Send me those pictures and you'll wipe your slate clean. You'll be back to zero. Wipe your slate?
03:22:34
Speaker
Shut up, runny bongs. but Get you on a goddamn point system in a minute if you keep it up. Jedi! I want to get free donuts at Dunkin'. Hell yeah. Put them on, bro.
03:22:52
Speaker
You do not have to go and you do not get $200 when you're on my bench.
03:23:01
Speaker
Okay, this one looks a lot better. What? Wally, I tried. i tried. It's just... What can we do?
03:23:11
Speaker
Can't do shit, Johnny. The people aren't peopling. Can't do shit.
03:23:16
Speaker
The persons aren't personning. you Okay, i don't like that one much. That's terrible. I hate that. Why do you look like John Cena? does kind or he does kind to look like John Cena a little bit He still looks epic Look at all the rocks and stuff coming off of him It's lit up chest I mean it's like I'm a hero And I'm just waiting for my comeback moment but come i still I still You know, you're still staying at 1.5 points I'm not even going to penalize you for that one It's still better than the other ones that it's generated Because it's made you look too cool Every single one of these looks really f freaking cool
03:23:57
Speaker
i guess I guess I'll send them to you. Johnny Bong's doing brain surgery on himself right now. deep Oh, God. ah It's nasal spray, but if I was just just straight up fucking, then that would have looked way out of context and there'd be a lot of questions. It already looks pretty weird, but you should try to do it rectally. It's a nasal douche.
03:24:17
Speaker
Yeah, do it rectally.
03:24:21
Speaker
It's meant for your nose, not for the other. But it'll get to your nose if you breathe your farts in your ass. how does one Now I have a question. How does one breathe their farts into their... How?
03:24:35
Speaker
You might be the first one to do it, Johnny Bongs. Don't you want to be pioneer? If find out how to just breathe through my ass... That'd be weird. You know the answers to life, and and you need to share them.
03:24:48
Speaker
Yeah, let's hear it. Go, Jedi. Show us how it's done. Bong, you never know until you try, Johnny Bong. I'm just trying to give you... I'm giving you the There we go.
03:25:01
Speaker
Oh, fuck that. No. but It's like that. No. I'm glad have that fucking WebMD tutorial music coming up. Well, I was waiting for Jedi shows. I'll be right back. Nils, you're in charge while I'm gone.
03:25:19
Speaker
Nils isn't even fucking here, bro. That's what makes it funny. ah Great. I'm glad he's gone. here I can make all the shit jokes in the world about him.
03:25:31
Speaker
um hi I'm joking. I wouldn't do that. i so I totally see him in front of his computer still. all
03:25:42
Speaker
Wally, where'd you go, dude? You dropped off. You're supposed to be on and I'm out of beer. And I'm like... Like maybe 15 ish minutes away from ending the show.
03:25:54
Speaker
So how dare you rock? Hey, no, no, no, no. I said it at the beginning of the show. i am taking my wife out on a date.
03:26:04
Speaker
I'm not getting the Russian, the Russian yelling at me covering. I'm not getting yelled at in Russian. um I will. add i What does she think about us going until six hours?
03:26:17
Speaker
she doesn't know how i She doesn't know how I do it She doesn't know how Glick does it I think a good portion of why Glick can do it Is because he's one of the best podcast hosts of all time Another Another thought Is that he's pretty drunk By hour two Like he's already drunk by now on his normal show So his perception of time Is completely gone oh and one I love Taylor ah When you're bored, 12 hours goes by like nothing. me Dude, hell yeah, man.
03:26:54
Speaker
And depends on the good, if you're a good drunk, too. Like, I've met some of my buddies who are not good drunks. It's so annoying being around them. And then there's, like, the really cool, chill ones. And Glick is definitely that.
03:27:08
Speaker
Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. He's got his cool moments. first Yeah, Glick, you hear that? Aside from your moments sir he has good moments Damn it um
03:27:32
Speaker
For the few of you guys that are still tuned in to To the network We appreciate you guys Hanging out with us on a Saturday night Um And also supporting us but ah by liking, sharing, and subscribing to the network, of course.
03:27:52
Speaker
you
03:27:55
Speaker
What did you say, Johnny? said, we love you. Yeah, we we love you all. Hey, Rock, you probably should get some of that Sasquatch fur out of your... Okay, you're back up for two points.
03:28:16
Speaker
but five
03:28:25
Speaker
You see what I mean? It's so fucking easy to get high on points. I clicked the button three times and I'm already at the end of my list. I gave you a mulligan for one of them, but the other two you got penalized.
03:28:40
Speaker
dick. You dick. yeah ah So when am I joining your show, bro? bro I already shredded your application.
03:28:51
Speaker
Oh, now I don't care about your point system anymore. You see how that works? should You should. If I have a chance, then I'm willing to teeter that fine line.
03:29:02
Speaker
stay right much You know what? Your audition is next Friday. Okay. Okay. i I will refrain from saying any comments, no matter how shiny he is I will just refrain from saying anything because I would don't think that he should. I would like to hear those comments. I will. It's not a fucking night out, can I?
03:29:25
Speaker
Fuck off, Johnny. Nobody asked you. I would like to. Hey, what about the points list already? God damn it. I'm not ending the stream. I will get up and leave. The stream will keep going all night, ladies and gentlemen. Johnny better be on a freaking point system by the time I end it. All right, then we're just streaming 24 hours, bro.
03:29:45
Speaker
We're going to be Here we go. I'm ready for this. you See what you no that us all lintage I'm ready. I'm ready for it, Johnny. Are you ready for it, Johnny?
03:29:56
Speaker
I don't know, but it happened because of you. Yep. Yep. I know. Everything happened to me. I create the world around me, Johnny. Tell me how you do it.
03:30:06
Speaker
You illuminate the world around you. You know, when we get to 12 hours, I'll let you know.
03:30:13
Speaker
He's going to be sleeping in the chair, bro. horse If you do turn off your camera, just leave the microphone on so we can hear your snoring. You don't want to hear that.
03:30:24
Speaker
You couldn't handle it. ah You can't handle mynore my snoring. My snoring is out of this world, bro. I start talking in my sleep. Do you talk in your sleep?
03:30:37
Speaker
I do. I can only imagine what can sleep. It gets pretty obnoxious. What do you say? like What kind of shit do you say? to him he wait First of all, how do you like who tells you? need cottage cheese and lettuce and bacon.
03:30:50
Speaker
Cursing at people, threatening to throw shit across the room.
03:30:56
Speaker
oh And then asking where food is. Are you sure you're asleep when you do that when you're awake too? I promise. And it goes from that to just maybe I might shit my pants.
03:31:11
Speaker
all Alright then. It takes a turn out of fucking nowhere. You you never know when you're going to he before you went to sleep Lazy dreams of Glick.
03:31:25
Speaker
Yes, he does.
03:31:28
Speaker
He dreams of the moment before. yeah The moment before and the moment after. 2.5.
03:31:40
Speaker
you They didn't even take that picture from my good side. But, Jedi, you look so happy there, man. You do look happy. I was because I didn't know Glick was behind me.
03:31:51
Speaker
How do you not feel his arms wrapped around your waist? I thought it was a wool blanket. here You ever heard it Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared? You look like one of the characters out there, Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared.
03:32:04
Speaker
What is that? I like how your pants are off in this one. Ha ha!
03:32:10
Speaker
That's after the roof he was kicking in yeah Oh my gosh, dude, that is so hilarious When he was transitioning into latex
03:32:22
Speaker
You know what? I was gonna make the thumbnail um The thumbnail of the whatever's in the background here But I think I'm gonna make it of love that one That's gonna be the thumbnail this week Okay, well, you're back up You're at 2.99
03:32:38
Speaker
That's a good thumbnail, man. It looks dope. Yeah. Which one? The blow-up doll version of me? No. No, the the version of you, this one.
03:32:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, now you're back to one again. The version of you that's not doing ominous things. Point and a half. Yeah. You didn't even send them me yet, though. If you send them to me, you're back to zero.
03:33:05
Speaker
Really? You're back to square one. Fuck yeah dude I haven't been to square one didn't even start the stream on square one No you did You're really good at being Being You know really Look you know look look look look You are dreamed of somewhere so it's okay Oh god that That's such a good OnlyFans I threw up a little bit but only a little bit
03:33:40
Speaker
Only a little bit. pen i You know, the kind of. wall Wally, only you may throw up a little bit. Do it again. It's kind of hot.
03:33:51
Speaker
Johnny, you're out of pocket right now. This time, reverse throw up. That's swallowing.
03:34:03
Speaker
You're going to swallow it. I do not swallow.
03:34:09
Speaker
but do yougenit underclap
03:34:14
Speaker
What do you mean by that? yeah I'm coming up on the lazy and shaman show this this Friday, ladies and gentlemen, for my audition. Oh, OK. Well, we're going put up a poll. Do you think he should be the newest member?
03:34:36
Speaker
No, say host. That's what Glick did and I won. Okay, we'll say host. It worked. Dude, that's where that video at the beginning of the show came from was because I actually, yeah the poll worked. Should I replace as the host and everyone voted for me just to piss off Glick.
03:34:55
Speaker
I don't think it was just to piss him off. I think it was a bonus though.
03:35:04
Speaker
You're like, hey, was a good a it was a good it was good call. and I can't do that, man. I'm so happy to be joining the network. didn't even think I was a podcast kind of guy, dude, until like Click has been putting in my ear for the last 10 years. You started being good at it?
03:35:21
Speaker
No, i didn't I don't know about good about it either, man. I just started talking. What did Click put in your ear? life I remember years ago when started our channel, I was so fucking nervous.
03:35:37
Speaker
Did you ever, when you started, rock you get nervous when you came on screen? Yeah, the first show I ran by myself for Saturday night, I was hella nervous. I was so nervous. in it I remember that feeling, and now it's like so like routine. like That's part of my life. like I need to be on Fridays. But like I used to fucking... like all like For hours before the stream, would just be like, oh, fuck. I got to get up on there and talk and fucking do stuff. and like You know what I mean? like It was such a big deal, and now it's just like so... just like If I don't do it, I would be...
03:36:13
Speaker
I'd be bummed. I'd be like, what? I missed out on the coolest part of my week. I get to hang out with people and do shit. no but like know early on and amazing so how I felt super lazy. i felt super like it wasn't going to work out.
03:36:29
Speaker
And then I started taking this drug. And this drug started to teach me about ways that I was going to be okay being on the net.
03:36:43
Speaker
like these are too all my friends and family and I is a great advertisement.
03:36:52
Speaker
That's a great segue, guys. Zoloft, sponsor of the Nonsensical Nonsense. but If you get so twacked out, you don't even know about reality, so you won't be upset about anything.
03:37:09
Speaker
See, if we were on Rumble, I said a whole different kind of drug, but that's okay. ah I'm paying attention to the YouTube people personnel. so Yeah, yeah. YouTube's very particular about their shit. Damn it.
03:37:22
Speaker
I can't believe they let Johnny Bongs on here. Because I can convinced them. convinced them. He convinced them.
03:37:32
Speaker
Convince them. wait I'm not allowed to explain. ah huh On YouTube. um But if you want to hear the story, tune in to to show Lazy and Shaman. On Rumble.
03:37:47
Speaker
You're going to get the full And you might see a few glimpses of Johnny Bong's butthole. Maybe. Hey, I shared those incompetence.
03:38:03
Speaker
Well, we got a high vote. And I will confidently show them on.
03:38:11
Speaker
God damn it. Oh, Johnny Bongs, you know how much I love you, bro. I love you, brother.
03:38:24
Speaker
Thanks for hanging out with me, guys. I am probably going to end the stream early, though, before my wife kills me. because i need to You had a Russian wife. I can't believe you're even on here to begin with. You should have been building her an igloo or something earlier.
03:38:38
Speaker
convinced her if I took her out for Mexican food tonight, that it would be all good. Let's face it, she gets tired of my face, too. i need time chill out. And she's like, get the fuck away from me, bro. You know Rock?
03:38:55
Speaker
As of now, you're at only one point, and you were up to two points. Thank you, guys, for tuning in to the Nonsense School Nonsense podcast tonight. Let me amend that. You're up to 1.5
03:39:12
Speaker
Right at the finish line. yeah Okay, we're up to two again. Two's fine. Two's fine, man. too It's a great time.
03:39:25
Speaker
um Do you have anything that that you want to say to the viewers before I wrap the show, Jedi? Yeah.
03:39:32
Speaker
if
03:39:39
Speaker
Three points. I am rage quitting. Three points.
03:39:49
Speaker
Oh my word. That's fucking great.
03:39:56
Speaker
We did it, ladies and gentlemen. We ended the show. ah We ended the show at a full three points. I couldn't have done it without you guys.
03:40:08
Speaker
Thank you so much. That was fucking great. Oh, man. Thank you so much. Thanks for hanging out with us tonight, Johnny Bong. As always, i appreciate you much. Always a pleasure, brother.
03:40:26
Speaker
I will catch you guys next Saturday. and you guys stay good, man. It was good hanging. Stay good, brother.
03:41:04
Speaker
Love to lust, to hate, the glory of a bastard A beautiful disaster in the eye of a storm Hesitate to paint the details of a
03:41:27
Speaker
I'm digging deeper, tell me I deserve this, come on, won't you cut me open? Don't you scratch the surface?
03:41:40
Speaker
I'm digging deeper, tell me I deserve this, come on, won't you cut me open?
03:42:33
Speaker
sleep sweet lady to my soul to keep waste degrade a shame foundation on an eyesore her majesty is gently knocking on my door again pretend to sleep and dream about
03:43:06
Speaker
Traumatize the limits, come on won't you cut me open Don't you scratch the surface I'm digging deeper, tell me I deserve this Come won't you cut me open