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Surviving State Violence for the Anxious Girlie: Finding Safety in Uncertain Times
25 Plays9 days ago
This is the grounding conversation we all need when survival mode becomes daily life. The moment when ICE notifications pop up two miles from home and you're left asking: is this paranoia or just what we need to survive?
Here's what we're unpacking with Cynthia Magaña, the Chicana Therapist:
- Understanding "shock and awe" as a military tactic designed to create trauma responses - and why our reactions are normal responses to abnormal events
- How collective trauma affects us all, even when we're not directly targeted, and why metabolizing anger productively matters more than performing online
- Finding your role in social change beyond frontline protest (organizers, healers, caregivers, bridge-builders) and asking "who am I keeping safe?"
- Concrete safety planning: emergency contacts, ICE tracking apps, five-minute family check-ins, and creating parameters that actually work
- Navigating family with different ideologies during crisis - from opposing Tíos at holidays to that adult "rite of passage" of standing up to elders
From getting Ring notifications about ICE trucks nearby to recognizing we don't heal in isolation, this conversation provides psychological frameworks and practical tools for surviving state violence while protecting your mental health.
Because here's what Cynthia knows as a therapist: Our bodies respond to keep us safe through fight/flight/freeze/fawn. The key is pausing to metabolize information before reacting, understanding that virtue signaling has real consequences for those without certain privileges, and remembering that showing up for community means decompression gatherings and chosen family too.
Guest: Cynthia Magaña. A queer, Latinx clinical social worker specializing in culturally affirming, trauma-informed care for first-generation professionals and cycle breakers healing intergenerational wounds. She's also a yoga teacher and sound bath practitioner who believes healing happens in community, not isolation. Find her @chicanatherapist on Instagram or visit cynmagana.com. Listen to Cynthia's Healing Playlist in Spotify.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that we don't go through this alone - community care is how we survive.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! How are you staying grounded right now? DM me your stories on Instagram @YourCoachMari
🎧 Related Episode: How All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks Predicts Today's Social Issues - Bell Hooks predicted our current loneliness epidemic, reminding us that healing happens in community, not isolation.
💬 LET'S CONNECT:
Send in questions: contact+podcast@marisolmoran.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Growing with Sol podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful people and welcome to the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, and self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:15
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and ready to embrace their own journey.
State Violence and the Latinx Community
00:00:28
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. it's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:39
Speaker
Come grow with me. So for this episode, as I'm sure you all can tell by the title, we're going to be talking about essentially a serious topic. Unfortunately, it is a very timely topic and it does not seem to be going anywhere. It doesn't seem to be getting better.
00:00:58
Speaker
it feels like it feels like it's getting worse and it feels like it's worse than we all even realize. Because there's I feel like there are so many stories that we just don't even know yet that have already occurred that we'll probably find out years from now.
00:01:15
Speaker
But I am talking about surviving state violence and specifically the state violence that immigrants are facing in this country right now and specifically our Latina, Latinx community.
00:01:27
Speaker
We have had a lot of ICE raids happening throughout the country. i know that I talked about this previously on the podcast and it was... I recorded an episode in June and talking about Los Angeles in June of 2025, that was very difficult.
00:01:43
Speaker
And those ice raids have now begun again in California. and so I want to talk about the experience of surviving all of this and how it affects so many of us.
00:01:56
Speaker
Even if we may not know somebody who has been kidnapped, it's traumatizing to see this taking place. It is amazing. frightening. And I have spoken to many people who are very much scared.
00:02:10
Speaker
So I want to just take some time to speak with someone who i saw them post about surviving all of this. And it came into my life at a time where I really needed to see something like that.
00:02:22
Speaker
So I wanted to share it on the podcast. So I'm very fortunate, very happy to have Cynthia Magana here on the podcast with me.
Cynthia Magana's Journey and Healing Focus
00:02:30
Speaker
Cynthia started the Chicana Therapist in 2019 while living in New York. She was searching for connection with other Latinx Latina folks in a city that often felt lonely as a queer Latina therapist.
00:02:41
Speaker
By 2022, she began building her private practice as an independently licensed clinician while simultaneously working as an associate director at a rapid growth nonprofit supporting first gen college graduates.
00:02:54
Speaker
In 2023, Cynthia opened her private practice, licensed in New York, and by 2024, expanded to California. Part of this journey meant finding communities of care that helped Cynthia unlearn the toxic corporate language and urgency culture of the nonprofit world, so which I totally relate to.
00:03:12
Speaker
Today, thankfully, her work is rooted in both clinical depth and intuitive practices honoring culture, spirit, and the body as essential porters portals to healing. Cynthia, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you, Marisol.
00:03:29
Speaker
Oh, wow. That was like such a beautiful intro. So I'm just wanting to express a lot of appreciation. And yeah, I just feel like we're we're getting ready to be really connected at this time.
00:03:42
Speaker
I know that we met briefly before recording this and kind of dug
Survival Anxiety and Community Impact
00:03:47
Speaker
into it then. i shared a little bit about my own personal experience and it's, I mean, it it it feels more the same. Like I literally had a notification yesterday on my ring app that there were potential like ice trucks, like a mile or two miles away from where I live.
00:04:08
Speaker
And yeah, You know, ah naturally i sent it to my parents, my family, even though my brother and sister live out of state, I sent it to everybody. And it was all just like, great. So we're not going to leave the house. We're all just staying in the house then.
00:04:22
Speaker
and it's back to that level of anxiety. And I think I mentioned you like, it feels like paranoia, but is it really paranoia? Like, or is it just what we need to do to survive?
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's, yeah, it's really just starting up all over again. but that's one of the reasons why i feel like I connected with that post that you did back in like June.
00:04:51
Speaker
it felt very grounding. and I think that in times like these, we need that or else we're just going to panic and that never really produces anything that's going to be helpful in the long run.
00:05:06
Speaker
So that's one of the things I really want to talk to you about, essentially, like when state violence occurs, you know, it doesn't only affect the people who are experiencing it directly, but all of us also who are witnessing it. so I was curious if you can go into possibly explaining that phenomenon and how individuals react to like initially receiving that information. And especially for those of us, especially like myself, um where we are naturally more anxious individuals.
00:05:35
Speaker
Absolutely, absolutely. I'm happy to go into it. And I also, you know, just want to add another layer of context in the origin story of why i wanted to, like, make a post about surviving state violence, you know. And I feel like we are in such a pivotal time in social media land and era that, you that you know We have seen this experience and this uprising before. so I just like want to name George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, the racial reckoning that unfolded in 2022 and how our nervous system responded and how community, one really gathered and rallied together.
00:06:24
Speaker
And really now we're seeing history repeat itself in to into the here and now. you know, and because of our intersections as Latino, Latine, that there is this
00:06:41
Speaker
peace that is so much more connected to us because now it's personal. Now it's very personal and living in the United States, regardless of the intersections and privileges that we do have, um it's going to it's make us feel some type of way.
Trauma Responses and Community Resilience
00:07:04
Speaker
It's going to unfold for us in in a way that our body knows how to respond, either in flight, either in freeze, other than other than like fawning responses. You know, our bodies are very magnificent and special organisms that just really respond and and keeping us safe. So I always really like to one name that we've experienced this before
00:07:36
Speaker
We have been a part of responding to collective trauma, community trauma. And then as those dynamics and situations become a bit more personal, our bodies are now naturally responding and the protectors that they know how to And one thing that I have personally learned in my journey as a social worker, as someone who is really committed to social justice, is finding those moments of pause, you know, and letting the information come and metabolizing others.
00:08:18
Speaker
the anger, the information, the next steps. So I really appreciate you sharing first and foremost, like how it landed and how grounding it was.
00:08:29
Speaker
And also too, this is the practice of history and how us as people of the global majority are like responding. um But what I want to really share for the the folks of Like, what is state violence? And for me, when I say state violence, I mean how the government and systems are impacting us through immigration raids, through police brutality, through mass incarceration, through policy change.
00:09:05
Speaker
And one thing that I have heard in the um newsroom or that I've like read is this concept of shock and awe, which is derived from a military tactic.
00:09:20
Speaker
And as a care provider, as a coach, you know how our bodies are responding. Like this is like a, this is A shock and awe is like a recipe for ah trauma response and a trauma reaction, you know, and it's something that is happening too fast, too soon, too much.
00:09:43
Speaker
And our trauma responses are a normal reaction to an abnormal event. So our bodies cannot process in the moment.
00:09:54
Speaker
And we go into our survival mode. We go into the fight, fright, freeze, fawning response.
Historical Trauma and Current Activism
00:10:01
Speaker
And... um I think it's just important for us to, you know, when we, if we have capacity, you know, if we can give ourselves like ah a time and moment to reflect, like, what is that origin story for us?
00:10:17
Speaker
You know, if we are, what, what, what is that origin story coming from? And for me, I'm offering like a portal of the racial reckoning in 2020, um, you know, how we responded as a collective, as a community. But even if we go a bit further and a bit more granular, you know, how is like, how, how have our responses been historically? And that can give us some insight.
00:10:45
Speaker
i really appreciate that context with 2020 and those marches and those protests. And then was seeing this as well. k thinking back on that moment, there is sort of that where like now it's personal and and i i get ah I get it. I get that.
00:11:06
Speaker
And also I feel like There was and is room for a lot of solidarity as well. And I feel like we saw touches of it back then.
00:11:17
Speaker
and I've seen touches of that now as well, especially during the summer when there are a lot more marches and protests in Los Angeles. I saw a lot of people from all different ethnic and racial backgrounds out there.
00:11:30
Speaker
a lot of people who were together in community across racial lines during those protests. um Even now, people that I know and follow on social media who are also speaking out about this as well, and they're not Latine or Latinx.
00:11:44
Speaker
So being able to also see the larger community that's outside of us and then that we're all sort of a part of coming together, I think is ah really nice contextualization as well.
00:12:00
Speaker
Yeah, I'm so glad. Yeah, and just knowing, yeah I feel like it's just so important, Marisol, that we were like – we're we're like naming that we've seen this play out, you know? And then it's just in the, like in what is happening in right here and now is like, okay, it's so in front of us now. It's so in front of us.
00:12:25
Speaker
And this is like straight up our nervous system, our survival mode, our protectors that are like here, right here, right now. And definitely for some for some folks,
00:12:38
Speaker
Absolutely. This is anxiety provoking, you know, for some folks. Absolutely. Maybe it's beyond anxiety provoking. And we know someone who we love is like completely shut down.
00:12:55
Speaker
you know Or is it someone who is using all of the energy and their anger and are they using it production productively? you know Is there another way you know that they are using their energy? But I just feel like it's just so important to like think about how our energy, how we metabolize the information, the shock and awe of it all is like being directed to us.
Contributing to Social Change Safely
00:13:28
Speaker
and I feel like there's like multiple layers that you just mentioned right now, that initial response, that shock and awe, and like, how are we going to respond to this? How are we metabolizing it?
00:13:39
Speaker
And then also you're going to be, as an individual, you're going to be left with something. You're going to be left with some kind of emotion, maybe inspiration, motivation to do something. And it's like, well, what are you going to do with that?
00:13:52
Speaker
And that's different for all of us. Like some of us are able to go out and protest. That's wonderful. Some of us, maybe we can't for a variety of reasons. and So we're left with that question of, well, what am I gonna do about this?
00:14:06
Speaker
And maybe we can think about it in sort of that micro level of myself, my immediate family. And then maybe it's also my community at large. Like how am gonna contribute to the overall solution of this?
00:14:21
Speaker
And I think for a lot of us, That's a pivotal question because i I don't think that anybody's really comfortable just sitting around doing nothing. Yeah.
00:14:35
Speaker
Yeah. and and And I know individuals who would love to go out and protest, but it's like, you can't. ah You physically, you physically cannot be out there marching and it's a large crowd. And what if you have to run?
00:14:49
Speaker
You can't. And it's frustrating for some people. so it's like, what can be done otherwise? And there are other ways to support causes and maybe different independent news outlets and things like that.
00:15:03
Speaker
But we're all left with that question. And maybe it may be a sense of helplessness as well. Definitely. yeah you bring up a really great point that I want to bring up. of um the it's ah It's a social change. It's a book by Deepa Iyer. She is a South Asian American writer, strategist, and lawyer. And her book is on social change now, a guide for reflection.
00:15:33
Speaker
And essentially what she is like, Saying in these moments and movements of social change that there are so many ways that we can show up, you know.
00:15:48
Speaker
um i as when I was working in New York, this was something that I taught with high schoolers, you know, that there are so many different ways that someone can show up, either being the organizer, being the person who is actually thrives on being front and center, people who, you know,
00:16:10
Speaker
have a different quality. Like there's, there's, there's a place for everyone in how we can do social change. I think what does tend to happen is like, there's this, and I don't know if it's like and infused by social media or what, but there's this like expectation, and or there's this particular image of how one is supposed to show up.
00:16:31
Speaker
And for me, you know, always want to like ground folks that I work with and say, dude, like, Let's take a pause and like, let's check in You know, what are we actually in capacity for?
00:16:49
Speaker
You know, and this is for anybody who might be navigating on how they want to show up, how they don't want to show up. It's like, let's like first think about safety, you know.
00:17:01
Speaker
um I always ground myself in um Dr. Ken Hardy's wisdom. He's a black marriage and family therapist who really talks very beautifully about race work. And he always he's continues to talk about that anger is a stumbling block for those who are oppressed and to use and channel your anger product productively.
00:17:24
Speaker
You know, and as someone with a marginalized identity, you know, we like we want to show up.
00:17:35
Speaker
We absolutely we want to show up. But if we can give ourselves like a pause and like think about who are the people in my proximity that like I want to protect, you know, because now we are really being there.
00:17:49
Speaker
Now we're being asked a question about how am I keeping my community safe? How I keeping my abuela safe? How am I keeping my cousins safe? How am I keeping whomever safe? We have that.
00:18:01
Speaker
We are also in a very big era of doxing. And i think that is also really important too, you know, and we've seen like snitches get stitches, you know, and we've like, we've been like, you know, these moments of like, I don't know if I can say this, but like f around and find out, you know, but I want to encourage people to take a minute and to think about who are they protecting you know, and can we get, can we, can we channel whatever is coming up for us productively? I'm not here to um tone police anybody, but just to one, think about safety first.
00:18:45
Speaker
And if it's and if it's somebody, you know, who does not have the privilege to go out in the streets, can we validate them? Can we really affirm them and, like, let them know, like, it is not your...
00:19:01
Speaker
It is not your role to be out there. It is not your role at all. If there are different ways, either being like on a rapid response or being in a person like on a three-way call, you know, great.
00:19:15
Speaker
Is it through calling, sending letters, doing anything that is involved in your community that can be done safely from home and with anonymity?
00:19:27
Speaker
Great. You know, if there are folks who are wanting to really come together? Let's say we have ah friendship group of mixed status folks.
00:19:41
Speaker
You know, how can we, one, show up on the streets? How can we go and show up for our community? And then also, how can we all come back together?
00:19:51
Speaker
Can it be through a movie night? Can it be through decompression? Can it be having a barbecue? Can it be us just really being being friends, being being being being together. you know i feel like it's just so important to also name. It's like we don't we don't heal in isolation and we also don't in these but specific moments, we don't want to feel like we are the only people who is going who are going through this.
00:20:24
Speaker
you know So it's just also so important to know in our community, like let's show up for each other. Let's let each other know that they're not alone.
00:20:34
Speaker
in this. That's such a good point. i knew Both things that you mentioned when it comes to like who are you keeping safe? I think that that's a question that I grappled with.
00:20:48
Speaker
Because I'm able-bodied, I'm perfectly fine to like go out into a protest. but In the beginning of the summer, I wasn't. I had a foot injury in the beginning of the summer. But once that got better, I totally could have gone to a protest and like been out there. But also had to think about my own safety, for example. Like who was I going to go with?
00:21:05
Speaker
Not my parents. Maybe one of my friends. But like what about my safety? ah Does it feel safe to go by myself? then on top of that,
00:21:17
Speaker
I'm the only one out of my two siblings here for my parents and my grandma. And my grandma needs a lot of help at this point in her life. And my parents need help with her. It's like, if something were to happen to me, it's only going to make life for my parents incredibly more difficult in taxing.
00:21:37
Speaker
and like and and I don't want that. It's like, okay, so let me, worst case scenario, am I okay with that? And then from there, also thinking about what are other ways that people can contribute.
00:21:53
Speaker
And I think it is so important to highlight what you said when it comes to, like, maybe your role isn't to be out there, but maybe your role is to help your community heal and decompress.
00:22:09
Speaker
Because is important. It is not healthy to constantly be in that state of anger.
Social Media Perceptions and Activism Balance
00:22:17
Speaker
You're just going to, at the very least, burn yourself out quickly.
00:22:21
Speaker
And then what are you left with? So being able to, and I think you mentioned social media, and I agree that social media kind of exacerbates the more aggressive, maybe hostile aspect of these types of things, right?
00:22:37
Speaker
So it feels like when you're on social media, like when you're reading comments and what have you, it can feel like you can feel like people think that if you're not only talking about this one thing, only doing this one thing, then like you've sold out, you don't care anymore. And like you were just a performative person. Yeah. Absolutely.
00:22:58
Speaker
Yeah, when in actuality, you can still care and have gone to protests and maybe still call your senators and what have you representatives and also go out with friends and maybe do a grocery haul or like post your little outfit checks, you know, and go to the gym because you still need to live a life.
00:23:24
Speaker
And I think yeah that when we are so social media minded, we as a community can forget that. Absolutely. You know, and i you know, like, I get it Like, i get why people virtue signal, you know, we want to feel safe with the person that we are adding, we want to you know, feel like, yes, I'm not alone in this. But also to like, let's take a step back and also see like, there are particular maybe reasons why someone isn't
00:23:57
Speaker
virtue signaling and like let's let's really call it for what it is there are very it's like the personal is very political so if someone who is like we've we've seen it we've seen it it with george floyd we've seen it in palestine we we're seeing it Now that there are ramifications for speaking out and if we do not have certain privileges, it's at the detriment of costs. So if you are expecting people to maybe virtue signal.
00:24:35
Speaker
You know, like, can we get curious? Can we also, like, check our own privilege? You know, do we have some privilege intersecting identities, being able-bodied, being, you know, having status, having, you know, income, you know, that is not a contingent on, you know, whatever, you know, how can you... it it's i think it's just, yeah, it's so...
00:25:02
Speaker
It's so important. you know i just under i want to name, like I understand why virtue signaling or why people may say that they are anti-oppressive, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And also, like can we make some space for those who cannot literally show up in the way that you or someone may be experiencing?
00:25:28
Speaker
Right, there's um ah bit of nuance in between all of that. um That i think I think online and in like social media comment sections, the nuance gets lost.
00:25:40
Speaker
But when we're able to actually have conversation kind of like this or in person with other people, it's a little bit easier to discuss and see the nuance. But unfortunately, or fortunately, depending how you look at it a lot of us are spending most of our lives online, which I i am chronically online. So i'm I'm one of those people, I understand.
00:26:01
Speaker
yeah, I think that's a very, very important point. Speaking of the complexity of the situation, one of the things that I think can be very difficult um that I've seen in my own personal life is you know someone who may be dealing with being far away from their family, especially nowadays, many of us, we move from where we're from.
00:26:25
Speaker
We live in another state, maybe we live in another country. Or even there might be an ideological
Family Dynamics and Activism
00:26:31
Speaker
difference. Maybe the family that we love and care about, we're separated by how we see things. And we're very concerned about their safety and what's going on. And they're just like, eh, it's not going to happen to me.
00:26:45
Speaker
I'm going to go on my road trip. I'm going to be okay. You know, how can someone still create security or even safety within their family unit, even when there might be these possible challenges?
00:26:58
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. That's so important and also like very hard, you know, like I identify as the eldest kid, you know, so wanting to make sure that me, my family and my younger sibling that we are, we have a plan, we understand, we know what's up. And, you know, I, think that it's,
00:27:27
Speaker
just gonna be really important if we're like if we're looking at our immediate family, you know, if there is maybe flavors of denial, if there's maybe flavors of avoidance, is there a way that we can meet them where they're at?
00:27:50
Speaker
You know, is the, and I think it's also gonna be important to like really check in with parts of you and how we maybe show up because it it might be replicating ah family dynamic.
00:28:04
Speaker
and then You know, it might be replicating, you know, me as the eldest daughter. Like I'm the one who's like making the plans and, and, and making sure everything's okay. But I, I also want to like invite people to think about, you know, i regardless of how much you care, ask yourself,
00:28:26
Speaker
is this is this the time and place? Is this the time and place to really show up and share what's needing to be shared? you know So if it's you know maybe parents who may be on the avoidance side, what is something that we can do to support them to feel some type of preparedness? Yeah.
00:28:54
Speaker
Is there maybe a plan in place? Are there potential numbers that you added to their phone? Is there an app that you can share with them of you know, confirmed ice raids?
00:29:10
Speaker
Is there a WhatsApp group or if they do have a relationship to, you know, Facebook or et cetera, is there a trusted site that they can lean on so they can gather their information while you are either even in the home or even while you are away?
00:29:30
Speaker
You know, and another thing that I want to like also encourage and invite too is like, is there Is there a time, is this a chapter in someone's life where we are going to make it like a ritual or a commitment for us, you know, to have a five minute conversation with the love?
00:29:53
Speaker
you know, just to see how they're doing, how their day's going, and if there's any types of type of support, you know. is that Is this the chapter, the place in our life where we can offer a little bit of grace to maybe our cousins or whomever, you know, to someone close to us? So I think that's going to be really important.
Setting Boundaries and Cultural Expectations
00:30:17
Speaker
with maybe folks who are on the anxious side, I would be very curious to like help them think about what are some concrete things that they are in control of and what is their personal plan and how can we empower our loved ones who are feeling anxious with a plan either in person and or even far away, you know?
00:30:47
Speaker
we're getting ready for the holidays next, you know? And with that, we might have that opposing deal, you know, or, or you know, whomever, whomever, you know, I think that is going to be a time and place where it's like, can, like, are we in a space? Are we in a tolerating space?
00:31:12
Speaker
And if we are cool. Can there be can there be like supportive parameters or rails for us to know? like Once Theo is on his fourth stage,
00:31:25
Speaker
third, second, even first beer, you know, is that when we are saying, all right, I'm a head out, you know, is there is, or, you know, if we are in a space that is very unhealthy, very toxic, et cetera, can we find chosen family, you know, is there, are there friends, know,
00:31:52
Speaker
are there so i know that there are support groups that are also happening. um There are some support groups that are happening in New York and in California that I've seen about folks who may be estranged from their families. So right now is like a really good time to look at support groups that could be in the place, if especially if we're like taking a pause for political reasons or just a difference in ideologies and immigration, you know.
00:32:22
Speaker
um Can we also, you know, can we also give ourselves permission to say, if I don't want to go, I don't want to go. i think that it's also going to just be important to check in with yourself, like,
00:32:39
Speaker
how this like does this like does any part feel impacted in some way is it in my perfect daughter persona that i want to carry is it I want to make my parents proud and therefore I have to be respectful to all of my family members you know yeah is it whatever and so I just want to I just want to invite you to try and think about like what are you what are you in capacity for I know I had a conversation with with my with my with my parent about you know whole family members that you
00:33:21
Speaker
you know m dis am distancing myself from for really spaces of like wanting to protect my peace, you know, and it's and it's beyond political. it's It's actually just like also that part of growing up, you know, like we are not the little kids anymore. Yeah, we are our you know our our parents kids but we're not the little kid where we have to sit and hug everybody you know and say hello and goodbye know like we're adults yeah I think that's a really important point as well um with the whole family aspect of it and us now as adults that's something that I've
00:34:09
Speaker
Within the last year, I had to like, kind not that I had to confront, but I was called to, called to speak up for some things with family members and It was that moment where I saw them realize that I'm not a child anymore. And it's like, I'm in my thirties, it's been a while, but you know, they they grew up with, you grew up with them. So they they've seen you as a little kid your whole life.
00:34:37
Speaker
So they just always have you in that mind frame until you're like, nope, we're about to have a discussion. And then they don't like what you have to say. and it's one of those things where you you do kind of have that moment where it's like, this is my tío, this is my tía, and I'm about to cause a ruckus.
00:34:59
Speaker
And it feels like you're going against something like cultural, like you're not supposed to cause this ruckus, but like you have to. You need to set a boundaries, stand up for yourself, stand up for somebody else, whatever it is.
00:35:12
Speaker
So having to deal with that is, I think, almost like um i talked to my my sister, my brother about it and it was just like, oh, okay, well, welcome. Like, it's like a little, writer it was like a rite of passage.
00:35:24
Speaker
and You know, expressing my experience with my sister about it. But with that being said, i know that like within our community, the Latina community, it can feel like you're not supposed to like do that with like your elders, your aunts, your uncles, your parents.
00:35:39
Speaker
But sometimes we have to. um Yeah. And sometimes, like you're mentioning, we have to think, well, maybe i just don't go or maybe I distance myself from certain people in the family. And for anybody out there who is having these thoughts, making these considerations and really struggling with it it is difficult. It can be very painful.
00:36:02
Speaker
and I can tell you from my own experience, and part of it was happenstance. With my family, because it happened for my family because of COVID.
00:36:14
Speaker
People just stopped coming around. and And we had parameters around like, okay, you want to come visit because we have the matriarch. We have grandma here.
00:36:26
Speaker
um These are the parameters so everybody can stay safe. Nobody liked to the rules. Nobody came around. And we just kind of fast found ourselves thinking it's really peaceful.
00:36:39
Speaker
It's really peaceful right now. And just from there, things just sort of fell where they fell. All that to say is that if you're struggling with these thoughts or like having to maybe distance yourself, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be a tumultuous, painful process, some emotional turmoil perhaps. But if you're thinking that you need to do it, it it'll most likely be very much worth it.
00:37:07
Speaker
Definitely. Yeah, you're right on what I wanted to like deepen, you know, like, you also get a role in the family unit, you know, do you get to make space for yourself.
00:37:22
Speaker
And what a gift for you to make space for yourself and to like, name your needs, name your boundaries. name and call out when something is fucked up, you know? And I hope like my, my hope is that like for our little cousins or our nephews, nieces, whomever, even elders that they really see and can say like, Hey, you know, so-and-so can really hold their own.
00:37:53
Speaker
Yeah. you know and and i And I feel like that that piece of like self-respect for yourself can also offer mere self-respect for someone who maybe has been silent in the complicitness of maybe someone who's wanting to feel important or somebody who wants to feel seen or wants to maintain a particular role in the family.
00:38:19
Speaker
Yeah, 100%.
Connecting with Cynthia Magana
00:38:21
Speaker
um Before we go, if people want to connect with you and hear more of what you have to say, where can they find you? Yeah, definitely. So you can find me on the Chicana Therapist at Chicana Therapist Instagram. If you want to visit my website, you can visit CYN, CYN, Meganya.com.
00:38:46
Speaker
M-A-G-A-N-A dot com. And you can learn a little bit more about me. And then I also have a playlist that I have at the bottom of my website that I'm very proud of that I'm constantly adding new music to. So um it's a nice it's a nice offering. um And yeah, i'm I'm around on the internet in Sacramento. If anyone is in Sacramento, I teach yoga at the Summer Moon Yoga Studio. And I partner with local um businesses out here offering sound baths and yeah.
00:39:27
Speaker
yeah i'm I'm around. I'm around in California. i'm I bop around in New York from time to time. So just follow me on the Chicana Therapist or my website and you can find out where I'm at. All right. Wonderful. And I will make sure to have all of her links and everything in the show notes as well.
00:39:44
Speaker
so you can always click on over there and then head on over to her page. and For everyone else who's been tuning in, I appreciate you so much. Thank you for tuning in If this episode resonated with you definitely leave a review, like, subscribe. It helps and it'll help get this message out to more people who are anxious about the situation and need to hear these words who might be comforted by these words the same way. I felt comforted when I first ran into Cynthia's post on Instagram.
00:40:15
Speaker
It was definitely needed. And this might be very much needed for someone else as well. As for us, again, thank you for showing up Thank you, Sin, for being here. Everyone else, until next time, keep growing. Awesome. Thank you so much.