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How To Create Community in 2025
12 Plays1 month ago
In this episode of the Growing with Sol podcast, I dive deep into one of the most pressing issues of our time: the loneliness epidemic and how to create meaningful community in 2025. If you've been feeling disconnected, struggling to make friends, or finding dating impossibly difficult, this episode speaks directly to your experience.
I explore how the concept of community has completely transformed since the 90s and early 2000s. We've shifted from deep connections with neighbors, coworkers, and local communities to predominantly online interactions with people we may never meet in person. While these digital connections can be valuable, many of us are missing the inconvenient but essential work of showing up for each other in real life.
From the current state of dating (where basic conversational skills seem to have vanished) to friendships that lack consistency and depth, I break down why so many of us feel isolated despite being more "connected" than ever. I share personal stories about what real friendship looks like.
This isn't just about diagnosing the problem... it's about solutions. I guide you through practical steps to build the community you crave: defining who your community actually is, honestly assessing how you show up for others, and creating opportunities for deeper connections. Because here's the truth: meaningful community isn't convenient, but it's absolutely essential for our wellbeing.
Join the conversation! How do you define community in 2025? Share your thoughts in the comments or DM me on Instagram or TikTok @YourCoachMari.
See you in the next episode! ✨
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Transcript
Introduction and Invitation
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to another installment of the Growing With Soul podcast. My name is Marisol Moran, and I'm a certified life coach specializing in self-esteem and confidence. The Growing With Soul podcast focuses on continual growth and healing, especially in the small steps you take every single day. If you are looking to heal, if you are looking to grow and connect with your true self, this podcast is for you.
00:00:25
Speaker
Additionally, i am currently accepting clients. So if you are looking for support on your healing journey, on your journey to build confidence, build self-esteem, then definitely click the link in my show notes in order to schedule your very own discovery call.
Community in a Chaotic World
00:00:41
Speaker
So as you can tell from today's title, the episode that we're going to be focusing on or the topic that we're going focusing on today is community. This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
00:00:55
Speaker
One, just as a human being in this world and also as someone who is tapped in at least to what's happening Online, certain discourses and conversations happening online and being unable to stop myself from making connections to what's happening in the greater world as well.
00:01:21
Speaker
Essentially, everything is fucking crazy and I'm going fucking crazy too. is the the vibe of 2025 so far if you're paying attention to the news.
Control and Connection in Society
00:01:31
Speaker
That is not to say that we cannot take control of our lives because like with everything in life, with every situation, there are aspects that we can control.
00:01:44
Speaker
There is always going to be something that you can do that is within your control, even though you might be in a situation that feels wildly outside of your control. and there's a lot in life, unfortunately, that we have no control over.
00:01:59
Speaker
But there's always something that you can do to improve your overall situation. So in terms of what i'm gonna be focusing on today, it is community, it is connection, and essentially the lack thereof in our society as an American, the context is going to be the United States,
00:02:18
Speaker
But if you are from another country and you're experiencing the same thing, you know, keep listening or share with maybe a sad American that you know um in your life, because I'm sure that you do know one in this globalized world.
00:02:33
Speaker
So essentially, the discourse that I have experienced personally, like firsthand and also have been witnessing, especially online, because that is if you've been listening for last month, I live online. OK, that is my life. That is my permanent residence is online.
00:02:48
Speaker
So the discourse that I've been seeing online has been talking about essentially the lack of community that so many of us are experiencing. So many people are going online and talking about how they don't have friends.
00:03:03
Speaker
They're not close to whatever family they have or maybe they used to have. Maybe a lot of people are no contact now. And if you're going no contact with family, that's for a good reason most likely. Okay, so do not break no contact.
00:03:16
Speaker
With that being said, still, even with family with that maybe you are relatively close to, you still don't see them that often. There's not a deep connection there. um With that as well, with dating, the state of dating post-COVID, I'm assuming.
00:03:33
Speaker
i was i was in a relationship prior to COVID, so I wouldn't be able to tell you. But post-COVID, it sounds horrible. And I know that when I first started the podcast a couple of years ago, I talked about dating.
00:03:46
Speaker
I don't think anything's changed since then. so I'm going to be digging into that a little bit as well, because I do think that is a symptom of the overall lack of community and the way in which people overall are participating in and engaging with community as ah concept or even reality in their everyday lives.
Online vs Physical Communities
00:04:07
Speaker
On top of that, Community as a concept, I think, has shifted, which I'm going to dig into a little bit more, because now we do have social media and the people that we interact with on social media. And maybe we attract people on social media lot more than we attract with people in our day-to-day lives, more than our neighbor. do you even know your neighbor's name? Probably not.
00:04:30
Speaker
So I also do fundamentally believe that we are all connected, And in the woo-woo sense, i don't not I'm not a woo-woo person, but there is this woo-woo part of me, which mom, if you're listening to this, then like, you're going to call me a bruja, even though I don't think I'm a bruja, as I'm wearing a freaking moon necklace.
00:04:47
Speaker
But i do think that we as people are definitely all connected. And in a more like physical sense, maybe in a more like emotional sense,
00:05:00
Speaker
like in a more like technological sense, whether we like it or not, we are all connected. um And also whether we realize it or not, we all are connected. So that mean comment that you may or may not have left on social media, that affected somebody, you know, because somebody saw it and felt shitty that day.
00:05:22
Speaker
Though if you're listening to this, you're probably not the type of person to leave a mean comment, I would assume. But you know, we all have our low points and our low moments where we say things that are a little mean.
00:05:33
Speaker
I am guilty of that as well. But anyway, let's go ahead and get into it. And let's talk about what community is. i definitely think that growing up, and i am 34, so growing up in the 90s and early 2000s and then definitely before that when the internet didn't exist,
00:05:48
Speaker
Community was your immediate family, maybe your extended family. Community was your neighbor, was the neighborhood that you were in, the school that you went to, the job where you went and like worked at.
00:05:59
Speaker
It was your city. It was maybe your state. And if you got even larger than that, it was your overall country. That was your community. Nowadays, i I don't think that's the case.
00:06:11
Speaker
Is that still the case? Like, We can't escape that. I do think that in the like as a foundation, perhaps, maybe. i feel like foundation not the right word.
00:06:21
Speaker
But I think that whether we see it or not, the very physical things that we are a part of, like our homes, our maybe apartment complex, our towns, our cities, our states, our countries, those those are aspects of life that is a community that we belong to,
00:06:43
Speaker
But I don't think that a lot of us have a deep connection to those communities as much as maybe we now have connection to communities online. I do think that nowadays community is much more intricate than just those physical sort of like rings that I explained previously, those like layers of community.
00:07:07
Speaker
I think that nowadays, instead of feeling close and connected to the physical communities that we have that are walking distance to us, and we maybe have more meaningful connection, if at all, with perhaps somebody you've never really met in person.
Sustaining Friendships
00:07:24
Speaker
You might have more interaction with somebody you've never met in person, more influence from somebody you've never met in person. i know that I am constantly on TikTok and there are definitely people whose TikToks I watch on a consistent basis that I thoroughly enjoy. and enjoy the content they produce.
00:07:45
Speaker
And it is thought provoking. And it makes me reflect. And it makes me see things in a new way. and those are types of conversations that I'm just not having with people in my day to day life.
00:08:00
Speaker
And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. i definitely think that those types of conversations and interactions are valid. But also, do these people know I exist? Not necessarily. Have they responded to like comments I've left? Yeah. But like do they know that I'm Marisol and that, I don't know, like i have a dog named Mochi? like At the very least, no, they probably don't.
00:08:23
Speaker
So how deep, how meaningful is that connection? um To be argued, to be determined, I would say.
00:08:33
Speaker
The issue, though, that I've been getting to, that I've kind of pointed at already, is that a lot of us also seem to not be participating in the community anymore.
00:08:46
Speaker
I don't see this discourse as much as I used to, but I definitely feel like even a few years ago, a lot of us were online, or even prior to that, talking about, like, if I don't want to do something, I'm just not going to do it. If I don't want to go, I'm not going to go.
00:08:59
Speaker
Like, if I'm not if in the mood to go somewhere, where i'm just not going to go there. Like, ah you know? And as an introvert, I do think that sentiment is valid.
00:09:11
Speaker
At the same time, i think we've kind of we've lost the plot a little bit. And it is now negatively impacting deep, meaningful connection with other people.
00:09:25
Speaker
Because more and more online, I am seeing people discuss how they don't have friends, discuss how it's difficult to make friends. And if they do have friends, like the last time you saw them was like three months ago, if you're lucky.
00:09:39
Speaker
And a lot of people are also talking about when it comes to dating you know, It's like it's I'm struggling to describe it because it's so convoluted.
00:09:49
Speaker
Like it is such a mess when it comes to dating for so many reasons and for everybody. So i we we're definitely going to get into that. But when it comes to the friendship part as well, like.
00:10:00
Speaker
People are just not making that extra step to have that connection.
00:10:08
Speaker
but One of the things that I do want to talk about, especially when it comes to friendship, when and when I'm talking about people not making the effort to sustain and breathe life into meaningful connection with other people, is that if like as since there's this this almost like vibe around things of like if it's not convenient for me, then i'm not going to go out of my way.
00:10:38
Speaker
But community isn't convenient. Deep, meaningful connection isn't convenient. And for the people in our lives who are our friends, our closest friends, like it's not convenient at all in order to really be there for someone.
00:10:57
Speaker
and I remember a few years back, a friend of mine was going through a very difficult time and he would tell me, I'm sorry, I'm talking about this again. Bro, never fucking apologize. Like, I would literally tell him, do not apologize. i'm I'm here for you.
00:11:11
Speaker
If you need to talk about this again in, like, 30 minutes, call me back and talk to me about it again. Like, that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point. Like, and as someone who does also struggle to open up to people sometimes about what I'm going through when I feel like shit, I get it.
00:11:28
Speaker
i get it. but That's the whole, maybe not the whole point of having community and connection, but it does exemplify that it's not convenient to be in community with others.
00:11:45
Speaker
It takes effort in order to show up for people. And there's also effort in allowing others to show up for you, especially for the type of person that struggles to accept help.
00:11:58
Speaker
I remember, again, to highlight how I i don't i don't fully and i and okay i don't fully understand how this is like a thing for people. But also, I've always been the type of person that doesn't have a lot of friends.
00:12:12
Speaker
like I have fewer friends. But if you're my friend, I will die for you. like You see what I'm saying there? like like If you are my friend, you are my family.
00:12:23
Speaker
And I don't have a lot of friends. So that's always been my vibe of my entire life. But I remember I saw this one TikTok of this person who lived in Los Angeles and was like, i don't care how close we are. i don't care like if we're friends, if we're best friends. like Don't ask me to like pick you up at LAX.
00:12:41
Speaker
LAX is hell. The traffic in LAX is absolutely horrible. I understand not wanting to have to experience that. At the same time, i do not, I did not understand to that person.
00:12:54
Speaker
Because if that person is your friend and they need a ride to LAX, like, if I'm available, like, why would I say no? Like, it did not compute in my brain. And even more so, like, that same friend that I mentioned earlier, told me once,
00:13:09
Speaker
that he had taken a taxi to LAX at like five o'clock in the morning. was mad. I was, I was upset. was like, why didn't you ask Because it was so early in the morning.
00:13:20
Speaker
I was like, don't care. literally, like he lives on the way to LAX for me anyway. Like like it's not, it wouldn't, it wouldn't even be going out of my way to pick him up and drop him off.
00:13:33
Speaker
Like I would just be waking up early. to do this. And it's like, and if you really feel some kind of way about asking me to do that, give me gas money. Like if you really need to, but like, I still wouldn't even ask for that.
00:13:45
Speaker
Like I was upset. Like, how dare you? Like, how dare you pay a taxi instead of asking me to take you to l LAX? I then picked him up when he came back. I then picked him up when he came back, but like, I still, see, but you you see how for a lot of people that's inconvenient, but that's friendship.
00:14:05
Speaker
that that I just feel like that exemplifies friendship. Like you do things for the people you love and care about. And that is what's going to sustain meaningful connection with others.
Challenges in Modern Dating
00:14:18
Speaker
Now let's talk about dating really quickly because this is...
00:14:23
Speaker
an area that a lot of people are struggling with and across the board. So when it comes to dating, like I mentioned, everybody's having a hard time.
00:14:35
Speaker
Naturally, i am more in tune with the woman's side of the dating experience. One, because i am a woman. And two, that's what the algorithm feeds me.
00:14:49
Speaker
and And because of that, a constant complaint that comes up is that men like magically no longer have conversational skills. Like they just, they don't know how to have a conversation.
00:15:03
Speaker
If you follow Ilona Mar, she talked about this. Maybe years ago, maybe maybe a few years ago where like she talked about how this she would go on dates and then like the guy just like doesn't ask a single question.
00:15:16
Speaker
And plenty of other women have talked about this too. She's just a notable person that I remember talking about this. Where you go on a date and you're just sitting there and you're trying to have a conversation with the guy and you're the only one asking questions.
00:15:27
Speaker
And I just don't understand how that happens. See, the thing with me is personally, i just don't date. I am very single, very, very single. Haven't gone on a single date in a long time.
00:15:43
Speaker
So I haven't experienced this thankfully. And I hope I never do, because that's just atrocious. Like, honestly, I would leave. would leave. Like, if I'm sitting there, investing my time in this and getting to know you, and you just don't participate in the conversation, no, check, but I'm leaving. Like, I would rather be at home, cuddling my dog, watching YouTube,
00:16:08
Speaker
Anyway, anyway, before I get upset on everybody's behalf, I don't understand why this is happening. i don't understand why this is the case. Because if you're on a date with somebody, the whole point is to get to know them, to be a little bit curious about who they are and participate in a conversation, even if it's a simple one.
00:16:26
Speaker
On top of that, there is constant content being created about people who are being stood up on dates, even though everything else seems to be going okay leading up to it. Magically, the person doesn't show up.
00:16:38
Speaker
And then, again, i had there's this person that shows up on my FYP constantly who, like, reviews men's profiles on dating apps. And it's always, like, 30, 40 years old.
00:16:50
Speaker
You know, they want a marriage or they want a family. But then it's, like, still trying to figure out what I want. Open to long-term, short-term. And it's just, like, bro, you're just throwing spaghetti at the wall trying to see what sticks. Like, okay.
00:17:02
Speaker
Like, well, know what you want. And it's it's a i I fully 100% believe it is just men not wanting to commit to anybody and not wanting a relationship, but still trying to find a way to get laid.
00:17:18
Speaker
So they're trying to just like say anything to see if you'll like give them a chance. That's what it reads like to me. But again, i don't date. So I wouldn't tell you. I haven't experienced it myself.
00:17:29
Speaker
But that's what it reads to me. But with that being said, like it it's astounding to me that this is the case. Especially when like, I think there was like, i don't know if it was a meme or something, but somebody was like,
00:17:46
Speaker
ah like you don't want Like, you don't want a committed relationship, but, like, you're balding. And it's like, that's so true. like, you're not getting any younger. and you just want to be a perennial bachelor? Like, I guess that works for some people. And though the people I've known who were perennial bachelors were not happy people.
00:18:07
Speaker
So there's that. But anyway...
Building Meaningful Connections
00:18:11
Speaker
If you are on the dating scene and you're having a dismal time, you are not alone. It seems to be like so many people are experiencing this sort of unwillingness on the other person's side to truly build or find connection with someone else, whether that is because they're not sure, they're not sure what they want. So they're just kind of like, well, I'm going to go on dates until i just see what happens and maybe I click with someone or they're not being truthful as to what they want or they're not putting an effort to actually get to know you.
00:18:50
Speaker
So when we taking a step back and looking at community in the year of 2025 and feeling lonelier than feeling though feeling as though The global community is crazy.
00:19:08
Speaker
the nation is crazy. am single and don't have any friends, or i feel like if I was having a bad day, the friends I do have, I probably can't call them or whatever it might be, whatever level of loneliness you may be experiencing.
00:19:26
Speaker
Like, what do we do? What can we do in order to truly have connection in our lives? Connection that is meaningful, that is fulfilling, that improves our quality of life.
00:19:46
Speaker
Step number one is to narrow down who your community is. Like I talked about in the beginning of the episode, community as a concept has definitely evolved just in the last 30, 40 years.
00:20:00
Speaker
So narrow down who your community is. Are they... online. Are they your neighbor? Are they your friends? Are they your co-workers? Who is your community?
00:20:14
Speaker
How do you define community? What do you want your community to look like? Like, who are these people? Define who they are. Figure out who they are. Then think about some reflection time. Like, what what is it about yourself that maybe is creating the current state of your community.
00:20:34
Speaker
Are you showing up for the community you already have? We need to recognize and accept that building community and connection is a two-way street.
00:20:46
Speaker
As much as we think about What is it that I'm receiving from this interaction? Like in a dating situation, like, did I enjoy the date? How did this make me feel? How did I feel when he said X, Y, and Z, or when she said X, Y, and Z, or did X, Y, and z Like, what am I receiving here?
00:21:03
Speaker
But also in all contexts of community, how am i showing up? How am i fostering a deeper, more meaningful and fulfilling connection with this other person?
00:21:17
Speaker
And that's not just in dating, that's in every relationship, friendship as well. Like, how am i like, am I the friend who's always canceling? Like, is that is that me? Am I the drama?
00:21:29
Speaker
We don't want to be the drama. We want to create beautiful experiences and connection for people.
00:21:36
Speaker
At that point, You can also think about communities online. Like, how am i showing up online? I definitely feel like, and maybe it's just the current her in state of, like, book talk. I am on book talk.
00:21:53
Speaker
But constantly, not even not even on TikTok, like on other areas as well, on social media, like,
00:22:00
Speaker
There's fan culture as well, which is a form of community and people like bullying people offline that like shouldn't be bullied offline. It's just an author talking about their book and their characters. Like how am I showing up online for the communities I'm a part of online?
00:22:18
Speaker
am I making it an unsafe space? Am I making it a hostile space? Am i creating room for conversation and growth and fun?
00:22:30
Speaker
Like, how am I showing up there as well? And if for whatever reason you find yourself in a situation where you're like, okay, well, I wish I had more of a community.
00:22:42
Speaker
I wish i had more friends. I wish I actually had ah partner. Beautiful. That then leads us down the path of what can I do to create the opportunity to meet new people?
00:22:59
Speaker
And if that's the case, I feel like I could probably be a whole other episode where we talk about finding friends and creating friendship and building that. And also when it comes to dating and partners and all that too.
00:23:11
Speaker
But remember, if we just keep it simplistic, you know, one step at a time, who is your community? How am I showing up to create deep, meaningful connection?
Engagement and Support
00:23:21
Speaker
Let's just start there.
00:23:24
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Growing With Soul. If today's episode resonated with you, definitely subscribe and leave a review. It helps so much when you do that. Again, also, you can share it out with friends, with family, share it out on social media. You can tag me on Instagram, on threads, and on TikTok at yourcoachmadi.
00:23:44
Speaker
I'm also constantly posting, so if you want to follow me along there as well to get some more insights, i would greatly appreciate it Again, if you are looking for support in maybe creating more community, figuring out how you're showing up in community as well, you can schedule your very own discovery call with me through the link in the show notes.
00:24:04
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.