Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Long-Distance Friendships: How to Stay Close When You're Far Apart
11 Plays18 days ago
This is the long-distance friendship survival guide you desperately needed. The moment when you stop letting miles dictate the depth of your connections and start building bonds that transcend geography. In this heartfelt episode, I share the exact strategies that have kept my closest friendships alive across oceans, time zones, and life changes.
We're covering all the good stuff:
- Why long-distance friendships are more common than ever (and why that's actually beautiful)
- The real challenges beyond just missing coffee dates – emotional distance, time zones, and feeling one step behind
- My multi-platform communication strategy that keeps connections alive without pressure
- How to stay emotionally invested when you can't just show up with wine and a hug
- The vulnerable conversations about money that actually strengthen your bond
- Creative ways to hang out virtually that don't feel forced or awkward
- And why that misconception about distance dooming friendships is complete BS
This isn't about settling for less meaningful connections because of miles. This is about proving that love transcends geography when you're willing to show up consistently, vulnerably, and creatively. Every strategy comes from my real experience maintaining deep friendships across continents.
Your people are your people, no matter where they live.
Subscribe. Share. Show up. Distance is just a number.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
💬 LET'S CONNECT:
Send in questions: contact+podcast@marisolmoran.com
We might just have the same taste in books. Check out my Book List.
(Bookshop affiliate)
🌱 LET’S GROW TOGETHER
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction: The Growing with Soul Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast. My name is Maysoul Moran and I'm a certified life coach specializing in self-esteem and confidence. The Growing with Soul podcast focuses on continual growth and healing, especially in the small steps we take every single day. If you are looking to heal, if you're looking to grow and connect with your true self, this podcast is for you.
00:00:24
Speaker
I am also currently accepting clients. So if you are interested in having support and having accountability on your journey of growth and reconnection to yourself, hit me up. You can definitely schedule a call with me through the link in the show notes.
What is a Long-Distance Friendship?
00:00:39
Speaker
So I'm going to be diving into a topic that is near and dear to me. And I think given the day and age that we're in, it's something that is much more of a common experience than I think it ever was before.
00:00:55
Speaker
And that is the long distance friendship. with long distance friendships. Well, before I get into the nitty gritty, let's talk about what it is that a long distance friendship is.
00:01:09
Speaker
Because I'm not talking about like LA long distance where like You know, if you're from LA, if you're on the opposite side of the county, that's too far for you to even be in my life.
00:01:21
Speaker
I'm not talking about that. Which, as somebody who is from Los Angeles, I understand. Because you will never catch me west of Pasadena. Like, and if you do, milagro,
00:01:32
Speaker
Straight up, miracle. But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about true long distance. I'm talking about It's gonna take me more than two hours to get to you at this point. Maybe more than more than five hours to get to you,
Challenges of Long-Distance Friendships
00:01:45
Speaker
okay?
00:01:45
Speaker
Like long distance, I mean like You live in NorCal, I live in SoCal, you live in another state, or you live in another country. You're in a whole different time zone. we got hours, we' got days between us, okay?
00:02:00
Speaker
So that's what I'm talking about when it comes to long distance friendships. And I feel like in today's world, that is just so much more prevalent. I think that a lot of people are much more mobile and global than previous generations, so it makes sense that maybe we have moved away from our hometowns or our friends have.
00:02:22
Speaker
Or, like many of us have nowadays, we've made friends with people on the internet who live far, far away from us.
The Role of Communication
00:02:30
Speaker
So what can we do in these situations in order to maintain friendships and have our friendships thrive?
00:02:38
Speaker
Because it is pretty challenging to do so with these types of connections. So before we do get into all that as well, I do want to talk about the different challenges that these long-distance friendships have.
00:02:50
Speaker
Obviously, the distance. We are so far apart from each other that we can't just meet up for a drink. We can't meet up to go to the store. We can't meet up to just live life together. Like literally one of my favorite things back when my friend used to live here in Los Angeles, nearby enough to be, was literally like, hey, me at whatever coffee shop, Muggs, which is no longer Muggs, unfortunately.
00:03:19
Speaker
Meet me at Mugs. Let's do some work together. And then let's, like, go get boba and, like, go to Ulta and, like, run errands. Like, let's just go do life with me, basically. So we meet up, take our laptops, work, and then, like, ah run a couple errands together, sipping on some boba.
00:03:36
Speaker
Literally my favorite thing about... That whole dynamic is no longer possible because my friend no longer lives here. So when we have a long distance friendship, things like that, simple things like that are no longer possible, let alone maybe showing up for someone when something really momentous happens in their life or when something very difficult happens in their life.
00:03:58
Speaker
You're not able to just drive over.
00:04:02
Speaker
Another thing as well that can happen is that because of the physical distance, we then feel perhaps an emotional distance or it then fosters an emotional difference. You might often feel like you're maybe one step behind or always maybe ahead because of that difference as well, and that the time difference, like your living life while the other person is asleep or vice versa.
00:04:25
Speaker
You're not able to have that instant communication was the other person, and that can make things very challenging as well. But I think that one of the misconceptions about long distance friendships is that and just because there is that distance physically, that you're bound to lose that friend.
00:04:46
Speaker
I think it is still very possible to have even close friendships with people who are far away from you. So what are some of the things that you can do in order to maintain that friendship?
00:04:57
Speaker
And I'm operating on the premise that you already have the foundations of a friendship set, that you already have this friendship sort of embedded in your life to a certain extent.
00:05:09
Speaker
um I'm not talking about, like in the previous episode, I talked about how to create friendships or past that phase in this episode for context. So maintaining and allowing the friendship to thrive, even in a long distance capacity.
00:05:23
Speaker
What are some things we can do? It's all about communication because that's all you have on the daily, maybe even the weekly or even monthly. All you have is communication with this person.
00:05:34
Speaker
So regular check-ins. Now this can be adapted to your own style of what you prefer. if you're a more spontaneous person, maybe you don't need to put it on your calendar, but we're talking about consistency.
00:05:47
Speaker
It's the same thing we talked about last week in terms of building friendships, creating friendships.
Staying Connected Through Technology
00:05:52
Speaker
You have to show up somewhere consistently. Once you have a friend, you need to make sure that you show up for them consistently as well. You can't just drop off.
00:06:01
Speaker
I know what happens, but still we need that consistency. So check in regularly. How are they doing? What's going on in their life? Who are like the main characters in their lives as well? Get to know them.
00:06:15
Speaker
If they've created this whole life somewhere else, it makes sense that you would be curious about it and curious about the people they're meeting, the things that they're doing, and how exciting it is that they're in this whole other location building a life.
00:06:30
Speaker
Be curious, ask questions, check in with them on a regular basis. Again, that might mean scheduling calls. Zoom is amazing. Google Meetup, Google Calendar is like, you can do that. FaceTime, all those things.
00:06:45
Speaker
If it makes sense for you and your friends to schedule it in on your calendars, do it. Have a standing meeting with them if that's what it's gonna take. Another thing as well that I definitely employ is using different platforms.
00:07:00
Speaker
So just to give you an example of how I stay in touch with a friend of mine who does live in Europe. We use WhatsApp where we're constantly texting.
00:07:11
Speaker
We also send each other TikToks like crazy. and then send
00:07:21
Speaker
utilize IG messages, IG DMs, sending each other reels and funny things, but also just talking as well. And the benefit of having these different modes of communication is that you're able to still be in communication, still able to relate to your friend and connect with your friend in a no pressure, way.
00:07:45
Speaker
fun way You know, you're not having to do that check and call like, hey, how is it going? And perhaps have maybe like a stale conversation. you're able to be like, hey, look at this funny thing that I found and then send that to them. or look at this, you know, provocative thing that I found, this interesting thing that I found.
00:08:03
Speaker
Check it out. What are your thoughts? Like you can share things in a no pressure for you to respond to me kind of a way but just sharing things online.
00:08:13
Speaker
I think that's one of the beautiful things about being able to just like have multiple loads of communication and then sending funny little things. It's definitely, it's a small thing, but it's incredibly valuable.
00:08:28
Speaker
Now, for a lot of us, it might be like quality over quantity. Like you really wanna to make sure that you are connecting with your friend. But again, I think it depends on the capacity in which that you're doing so. like Naturally, with any kind of communication, it is going to ebb and flow. We do get busy. We have lives. We have time zones in between us.
00:08:50
Speaker
So you might not be as responsive for a while. Your friend might not be as responsive for a while. but it's important to, at a certain point, be like, hey, I've had a lot going on with work lately. This is what's going on. Sorry I'm not being that responsive. Like, I'll have more time.
00:09:10
Speaker
in a week, in two weeks, or like when this project is over in order to like connect with you again. It's as simple as that. As just like a quick text on WhatsApp or whatever. It's as simple as that in order to communicate.
00:09:22
Speaker
You know, it's not a high quality thing, but in the meantime, we're all you know, taking our mind off of things via Instagram and TikTok. So that's where you can do the the quantity part portion where you send TikToks and what have you as like, ah hey, I'm thinking of you in this capacity.
Myths and Truths of Long-Distance Friendships
00:09:41
Speaker
Saw this thing out of you. Here you go. I do think that that is valuable in its own way as well. Another thing that can be valuable if it is part of just like who you are finding other creative ways to connect and hang out with your friend.
00:09:57
Speaker
It doesn't have to be just like a chit chat session online, FaceTime or what have you. You know, especially during the pandemic, I think it was a lot more possible or a lot more popular to have like virtual movie nights.
00:10:10
Speaker
If that's still a thing, you can go ahead and do that. I did that a few times back in like 2020, 2021.
00:10:17
Speaker
If you're into gaming, maybe like an online gaming session is very, that can be a lot of fun too. One thing that like you know another friend of mine did send care packages. I think he sent like a couple of care packages to my friend when she first moved out to Europe.
00:10:33
Speaker
And like, Very cute, very thoughtful, but expensive. like Because tariffs and like, maybe not tariffs, but like that like a fee or something or like whatever tax is associated with that.
00:10:48
Speaker
and don't know what it's called. I'm blanking on the name right now. But if it's possible and it's affordable for everyone involved, just saying care packages and things like that, we definitely do so. I think it is very thoughtful and sweet.
00:11:01
Speaker
And then of course, sharing videos and pictures and all that stuff as well. I mean, I think that's a lot easier now because like everything's just on Instagram, I feel like, but if there are other things that you can share via like other avenues, then definitely do so.
00:11:17
Speaker
When it comes to long distance friendships, One of the things I mentioned at the top of this episode is that there's this misconception that because you're a long distance friend, that eventually that friendship is going to fizzle out.
Empathy and Emotional Connection
00:11:32
Speaker
And what is it about the end of a friendship that causes it? Like what what happens there that makes the friendship end? You become disconnected.
00:11:43
Speaker
You no longer you feel like maybe you relate to that person. There's no emotional investment in each other anymore. So the friendship fizzles out.
00:11:54
Speaker
And that can happen with a long distance friendship, but it doesn't have to. And remembering that even though you and your friend are no longer close together no longer close in proximity, it doesn't mean that your emotional investment has to fizzle out as well.
00:12:13
Speaker
You can maintain emotional investment by the things that I've been mentioning already, but ultimately by remembering that this is one of your friends that you have a lot of love for.
00:12:25
Speaker
And by having a lot of love for them, you want to be a part of their life in any way. Emotional investment in your friendship is still very much possible even though you are miles, hours, a day apart.
00:12:40
Speaker
So, and by day apart, I mean like air travel, obviously. But even though you are that far apart from each other, emotional investment is still possible. You can have that by doing all the things that I mentioned.
00:12:52
Speaker
By remaining curious about your friend's life, even though they are far away from you. by And by doing so, you do remain a part of their life as well. You show that you care. You show that you still have a lot of love for them, even though there's only a really like one avenue that you can express that through. Whereas before, when they were physically closer to where you lived, it was much easier to do so.
00:13:19
Speaker
You can still be there for important life events.
Practical Tips for Maintaining Friendships
00:13:23
Speaker
You can still show up for them, even if it is digitally. If it's a a video maybe that you send to them. A voice note.
00:13:30
Speaker
I am the queen of voice notes. It's You know, my friends haven't complained yet. They've not complained yet, but they definitely make fun of me saying that my voice notes are like a little podcast.
00:13:43
Speaker
And like one of them is even like, always put it on like 1.5X or 2X speed so you can sound like a little chipmunk when I listen to you. but it It's fine. but As long as you get the message.
00:13:55
Speaker
So voice notes are definitely a fun way to remain connected and also to show that you're proud of them, you're excited for them, or whatever it might be that they're going through and that you're there for them in that capacity as well.
00:14:10
Speaker
It's all about showing empathy, which if you're here listening to this podcast, you're probably pretty good at having it showing empathy for other people.
00:14:21
Speaker
So it's not gonna be that challenging to apply it in this capacity as well if you have long distance friendships. Now, the obvious one, but I feel like the most difficult strategy in maintaining the long distance friendship is planning meetups.
00:14:38
Speaker
Seeing each other finally in person. Now, the frequency, in which this can happen is going to vary depending on finances, depending on available PTO, and maybe where the friend is located. heated And that's understandable.
00:15:00
Speaker
But being able to talk to one another about the possibility of seeing each other and how to meet up, where to meet up,
00:15:10
Speaker
is incredibly important. And being realistic about that, being realistic about what your finances are, which I know is not easy for everybody, but in this capacity, it it is an important conversation to have.
00:15:24
Speaker
Saying that, hey, like it's going to cost me hundreds or whatever thousands of dollars to be able to go see you I don't have the ability to save up that money or I don't have the money right now in order to do that.
00:15:36
Speaker
Or it's going to take me, it's going to take me this long to save up the money to be able to go see you. Like having that conversation in and of itself is incredibly important for maintaining the friendship. Almost as important, I would say, as actually being able to do the trip and be able to see each other.
00:15:56
Speaker
And even with that, having the conversation as well as of, okay, once we're physically in the same location, like what are our what are our finances like in terms of like what we can do, how we can hang out together?
00:16:09
Speaker
You know, I've had those conversations a lot when it comes to like my own friendship with a friend who lives in Europe, whether it's, what is it gonna look like for me to go visit her in Europe? And also when she comes back here,
00:16:23
Speaker
to Los Angeles, like what is going to look like in terms of what things we can do?
Handling Emotions and Celebrations
00:16:27
Speaker
And also like, what are you planning um doing while you're here so that I can make sure i have the disposable income available to do those things too, if I'm involved.
00:16:39
Speaker
Those are very important conversations to have and allow us to even be closer. Like talking about finances in any capacity is a very vulnerable conversation to have.
00:16:54
Speaker
So when you're doing that with your friend, it is also a way of building trust and building connection and bonds with them as well. And then you get to see them in person and have all the fun. so it's a win-win. Another important thing as well, since we are talking about being vulnerable, is also letting your friend know about how difficult it might be that they now are so far away.
00:17:19
Speaker
and it doesn't have to be a serious conversation. like Like, I make jokes every once in a while about my friend leaving, you know, and like why she left. And obviously, like, I think it's so cool that she moved away and like, amazing.
00:17:34
Speaker
But at the same time, it's also like, can't believe you left me here. Rude. Who am I supposed to get boba with now? Myself? Double rude. You know, like things like that.
00:17:45
Speaker
And it's totally fine and it's funny. And also I laugh at her because like, they don't even really have blah blah where she's at anyway. Sucks the dog. But with that being said, if it is something that does necessitate a more serious tone of a conversation, then definitely, you know, have that conversation in that capacity.
00:18:06
Speaker
you know You want to be able to face whatever feelings of maybe disconnect that you're having, maybe frustration on conflicting schedules, if that's also happening, being able to share that.
00:18:20
Speaker
Also making sure that if you're having any kind of like disconnect regarding miscommunication or lack of communication, and being able to express that as well.
00:18:31
Speaker
Because at the end of the day, like, what what is it that's causing all this? What is that emotion that's behind maybe that frustration or that disconnect? It's that you miss your friend. You miss your friend at the end of the day.
00:18:43
Speaker
And even though there are things that are causing frustration and disconnect and maybe feelings of distance, the root of it most likely is that you miss them. And being able to express that and let them know like, I'm really missing you.
00:18:59
Speaker
I want to be able to connect more. What can we do in order to have more communication? Or what can we do in order to like, you know, make sure our friendship is okay?
00:19:11
Speaker
And having that very real conversation with them might be what's needed from time to time. Before we go, I do also just want to reiterate that even though your friend might be far away it's still incredibly important for the both of you to be there for each other for the wins as much as you are to be there for each other for the lows in order to like celebrate any growth milestones, celebrate any kind of achievements maybe in their career or what have you, like other achievements as well.
00:19:46
Speaker
And to share your lives with each other, you know? You're both for living life, doing a wonderful, amazing thing, Be curious about each other's lives, even though you're hours and hours apart.
Conclusion and Further Insights
00:20:03
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in today to the Goring With Soul podcast. If you found this episode to be of value, I definitely appreciate that. Make sure to subscribe and to leave a review because it helps.
00:20:15
Speaker
And also, if you would like more insights, I am on social media. You can follow me at yourfochmati on Instagram, TikTok, as well as threads. And course, if you would like any kind of support, definitely feel free to schedule very own discovery call with me. You can so through the show notes. And until next time, keep growing.